temporarily closed

Am flying to Greece tonite.. will be back next monday ( haishhh terus ada kelas plak tu)...kacooo...
Doakan kepulangan ku selamat pergi dan balik.. (haishh... cam sentomentol la plak)
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Bye

Hapdet katernyaa

Aku sebenonya sekadar mendengar kata, sama cam aku dengar kata ma n bak, dengo kata cikgu, dengo kata pensyarah, dengo kata kawan2 (yg betul jek la). so bila incik shahe suh aku HAPDET, aku pun HAPDET la.. walaupun jiwa aku meronta-ronta melaung2 perasaan malas dan TAKNAK, TAKNAK.. aku tak nak happdet....
.. tapi disebabkan aku ni seorang yg mendengar kata.. ...
...............
.............
AKU pun HAPDET la...
walaupun hanya sebaris ayat ( ewahhh lirik lagu jugak yg terkuar)..
....
akhir kata..


YEAHH! aku dah HAPDETTTTTT (ada gema)

Sekian.

Payday

I came in early today. My 2 good frends semua pi dengar talk by the Elsevier editor of 'how to publish a good journal" katernya ( sori pakcik., aku dah terikut2 gaya ko cakap der gamoknyer). So I was left alone this morning ( still early, baru kul 8.30). and since i know tat I'd be left alone today, soI ve decided to finish the saki baki posa aku yg lum berganti agi tu.. ( iya, aku sungguh kejik, dah penghujung cam ni pun lum abis lagik huhhu), and to top it all, kawan aku jugak dgn sesukahatinya suh aku wakilkan dia pi meeting sbb dia nak pi dgr talk. so dalam kul 11 karang, aku dgn blur dan sopannya ( or is it sopan dan blur) akan duduk sebagai pokok bunga hiasan kat meeting yg langsung takder kena mengena ngan hidup aku ( boleh gitu?)
and since its stll early to do things that need to be done, i logged in to maybank2u to pay all the bills , deposit, downpayments etc, tengok2 aku dah abiskan sebulan gaji aku, infact terpakai lagi a few hundreds, boley? so.. (and i just noticed gaji baru masuk hari ni and i ve finsihed it all? kellesss mak kah kah kah) so lagi sbulan aku kutip la pucuk2 kayu kat tepi jalan wat makan kan? kah kah kah.
ishh tengok keadaan, kena la puasa sepanjang bulan rejab ni nampaknyaa.. sejuk la perut mak aku nengok anak dia yg kushyuk dan bertawadd-uk berposa nih..
Opssss. luper nak cakap.. my condition is getting better.. ehh if not, takde la rasanya nak merapu meraban kat sini kan..
Dah.. nak kena wat claim so dat i ll have some money to be taken with during my trip early next month.. Pakcik! ko nak kirim aper dari Greece? Aku wat balik mak tiri Hercules kat ko nak? kih kih kih

Moral of the story: 1. Gaji aku ciiput, gaji ko byk pakcik.. sampai beli 7 helai baju kije.. tu stock aku setahun tuhh..
2. I m so hopeless when it comes to financial management.. boley?

Sick!

im so so so so not well today, actually it started since last saturday, nope.. last week actually. Well something went wrong wth my body ( macam la tak penah pun kan), the right side of my body from head to toe is in great pain ( the shoulder hurts, the wrist swells, the elbow in pain, the knee can not be bended, the ankle.. still swelling like hell ). Even tho I ve been lying on the sofa for like 24 hours, the body is still aching, and it metastatasized, i mean the pain, sekejap sakit pinggang, sekejap kat shoulder blade. The worst thing i m having fever as well, but its in low grade form. tatau nak cakap apa.. last nite, i woke up at 3 amfeeling so fibromyalgic, so i took a panadol and i sweated later on. Tis morning, since I ve a class at 2 to 4, I ve to drag my body to the fac. Cant postpone the class, bcos I dun have other empty slots to fill in. and muka aku yg moyok ni of course la, very obvious, kalau dah tak sehat, when a colleague asked, i ve to tell him dat, I dun hv the energy to move my body anymore and wish someone could put me inside the upih kelapa and drag me to the destination.
So pathetic!
by the way, last nite, i dreamed of my late friend who passed away last year in Mekah..
reminds me of some "so called friends" aku yg senang bersama tapi susah sensorang ittew.. kejik ! huhuhuhu. Aku rasa kalau aku mati pun lepas setahun kot baru dorang tahu..
*mode emotional*
i m taking a medical leave tomorrow.. Losing my appetite some more..
Nasi dimakan bagaikan pasir .. huhuhuhu

complementing the unfinished products

It was a HECTIC weekend! Seriously, i sacrificed my whole weekend for the sake of students yg ko-cen-tai.it was an 8 to 6 activities. and we only stopped for tea and lunch break. Ko bayangkan lah, betapa makcik ini bercakap dan cakap dan cakap jugak sampai kering tekak ni.. heeshh.. and to see all those students melopong dengar apa saja jek kelentong aku.. kah kah.. its priceless!
i was still ok on saturday. setelah 'dera' bebudak tu skit2 for the ice-breaking activity, they started to feel relaxed. Or else, i almost felt the tension amongst them when i first arrived. after all, they r not from my faculty. Later on, for the next 6 hours, I really had a good time. thse students, when they'r given an opportunity to be themselves, they wud come out with lotsa creative ideas, and u would be surprise, especially seeing their performance in all those sketsas.
However, things were not so good on sunday. i was a bit worn out after the saturday's activity. ached all over.. but still i cant just back out at the last minute. so nak taknak.. i just prayed tat my condition will get better by the afternoon. the students from my own faculty were not as creative as the ones that i conducted on saturday, but there wud alwasys be one or two who'd be outstanding. If the tagline from the saturday's school was "dua-dua", and I think tat was something that they picked up during their orientation week, the tagline on sunday's school was "unfinished product". and they actually referred the term to themselves..students are unfinished products. i guessed I m the only one who even laughed more. and they continued laughing when they saw me cant put a stop to this contagious laugh.
i was totally out when i reached home at 7. so darn tired, physically and mentally.. i just hit the bed rite after the shower and it was only 7 pm. Owh before hitting the bed, i gulped some painkillers,put some blanket, dah demam der pun masa tu.. and off to zzzland. Woke up at 7 am this morning.
begitulah adanya...
len kali nak buat lagi pun... besides achieving something in my SKT, i can also get some extra money.. more than enuff for few stress therapies next time.. kan kan incik Shahe kan?

makcik's day out

i was on leave today.. as i told incik shahe, i went for a stress therapy at J-Card day at JJ Taman equine. Ye la,,sapa lagi nak abiskan duit yang berkepuk-kepuk kat dalam bank tu kan ( bukan duit aku. duit org) kah kah kah
so dengan tekad dan semnagan yang kental, I reached there at 9.30, thinking that we'd be the first one arrived.. ghopanyaa....
hampeh.. dah berbaris2 keter parking kat luar, meaning dat d parking lots inside r fully occupied. Thank God Cik zura managed to park at the rooftop parking and i was too bz sipping coffee with lotsa sugar n cream to rejuvenate the energy.. yess aku sungguh hampehh..
Actually i m not into shopping wth crowds. my kind'f shopping is.. a pleasant one on monday morning and of course la, time takder sale.. it ll be very empty..
so tis is sort'f change ( actually i need ppl who can push the trolley )kah kah kah.. tau la aku ni.. bawak barang skit.. cam dah nak patah tangan
We managed to come out'f the JJ at half past 6!
korang bayangkan le.. the time we spent inside was longer than the time we spend at work all day.. tapi tak kisah la.. janji dah ambik cuti.. not like some ppl whom I believed came straight from their offices.. cladded with office attire ( hari ni khamis.. so most of them wear batik0 .. apa kes!
kalu nak skive pun berpada-pada la kan.. at least bring some extra clothes and u can change it in the toilet.. ( habis la aku bagi cadangan yg amat kellless)
Tho i didnt spent tat much ( compared to my friend), and i did wait for her who was at the kid's section for more than 2 hrs. jenuh la aku bilang org kuar masuk ngan incik guard yg buat lawak bodo kat depan tu..
so the result from this therapy.. aku sakit kaki.. n sakit lutut...
stress whoaa... esok lecture kul 8.. can i change the topic to ' CC's day out at JJ for a so-called stress therapy".. boley?
anyway.. the good thing out'f tis is..i managed to buy an advance bday present for beloved ma n bak. (it wont be a surprise one tho as aku siap consult saiz depa in the middle of the chaotic crowds)
seriously, regardless the hike of fuel price , the hike of so many necessary goods, people are still spending their money lavishly like no tomorrow. I still have no idea why ppl want to buy so many pillows n bed linens just bcos they put the unbelievable discount price. some people bought few big suitacses some more.. and they had like a few trollies to put all the goods.
ye, aku sungguh tak paham.. i just bought things tat i have planned for ages to buy, only i havent had time to buy it til now..and there r items tat i was still unable to buy bcos it doest suit my taste..
so lebih kurang aku ni.. kiranya a good consumer kan? kih kih..
ye tepuk to CC!

Woke up at the wrong side of the bed

well.. the title narrates it all.. and my grumpiness only started when I could not find my body shop perfume bottle after the final touch up. Scruffed thru all the bags, tote bags, over nite bag, hand bag.. yet i still couldnt find it. i wear the perfume whenever i m not in my menses time (get wat i mean?), and dabbed other perfumes when i m in tat time of the month ( still get wat i mean?)..
yeaa.. aku biol hari ni.. after swearing like 100 times and later merintih cam org mati anak kucing .. i was still unable to find it. Ishh i have other perfumes tat i can wear.. tapi tu la.. today is the sparkle sequioa's body shop day.. kalau takder.. jgn harap aku nak pakai lain..
ishh... i remember i held it and planned to put it in my overnite bag as i was at my bros last weekend.. ishh.. I am soo absent minded nowadayss...tuihh!
so i dragged this grumpiness all the way to work. I have the first class tonite.. ( but i dun feel like preparing any lecture notes,, boley? ) there goes the award for this year's most dedicated lecturee ( another ptuih!)
the usual bfast partner decided not to come today.. lagi la aku grumpy.. and its been raining cats n dog since tis morning..
To add to my grumpiness.. i could not find the air tickets.. i remember i just put it in the first drawers along with all my monthly pay slips.. the drawer.. ishhh was an extremely messy.. while r'ransacking' my own drawer, i was like.. allah huakbarr.. mana aku letak ni.. for 100 times.. (luckily i was not into swearing mode)..
I blamed my age for this so bloody absentmindedness.. and my 'taking for granted'-ness.. but i know the ticket is in the drawer..
after abt 15 mins.. i found the ticket.. yes.. its actually inside the drawer.. leaning to the wall of tat drawer.. ( ko imagine la sendiri.. bahasa aku ni pun dah lintang pukang)
and now i feel like... makan goreng pisang sambil lepak atas l-shaped sofa aku tgk 'shutter' the movie leh?
Cam bosan jek hari ni..
and yes.. i am still in 'grumpy' mode..
rasa cam nak makan anak lebah jek..ke memangh ada anak tebuan dalam perut aku ni? it hurts like.. hell.. ( no like reban ayam)

The next Philip Kottler?

Seriously, I m so oversaturated today.. well forget abt "sepi' with this kinda situation.. 'sepi' wud be the last in my list for he time being. Let me begin the story.. ( bunyi org tiup nafiri kat belakang " sound effect' beb)
I was told dat i wont be teaching any courses this semester, and kalau ada pun, theer wud be one, and i m so darn confident that they wont appoint me to teach the course ( FYI, it was "asas keusahawanan' course, which is a university course for the students who have registered starting 2007/2008 session. so, since all the students will reg for this course, and the experts who came from the econ n mgmt fac are not enuff.. they have appointed lecturers from each fac, and yrs truly ni.. have been selected amongts a few others la. I have attended its TOT kat sban last march.. which i have to admit.. i was totally 'bingaied' thru the course. so we ( me n my 2colleagues from Biochem n a anatomy depts, just sat quietly and let the experts yg mmg dah taraf sifu tu controlled the floor. and dgn konpidennya jugak, i dun think they will let all the students reg this course at one time.. they must put the quota for the numbers taking this course kan.. and THEY did.. latest info dat i got a few days ago tat, they ( the xperts) will handle all the classes, and hearing tat, i was so relieved, bcos I can imagine how much damage wud be done if i took the class..
surprisingly, well expectingly la kan.. i was told to handle one class which the group will consist of the students frommy faculty, ( wat happened to the experts yg ramai2 kat their facs) and the reason is .. bcos the studnts came from yr faculty... and to add it more.. i have no teaching workload tis sem ( Cett.. i ve been planning to be publication productive tis semester).. and end up.. I m gonna teach the nursing and dietetic students about the principle of entrepeneurship.. best la sangat kann.. I cant even pronounce the word rite..
and to show how dedicated i am.. the class will only start from 8 pm to 10 pm.. twice a week.. so i have to bid goodbye to my early nites.. kah kah.. ( no.. they gave me the timetable bcos nursing studnts only finished their classes at 7pm every day.. ) well thinking abt them, i was so lucky during my heydays.. have to salute la this nursing students whom majorities r the veteran
I m offering anothr course at the last minute anyway.. so they wud think tiwce abt appointing me in teaching this course next sem kah kah.. ( yes.. i m so smart rite? ). there will be more students who r registering for tis course next sem.. and we only have 6 lecturers from our fac who have attended the TOT.. the chance of me teaching again next sem is very huge tho.. and i have anothr 3 core courses to teach next sem.. when can i have the time to produce papers la?
anyway on lighter note.. i m not complaining bcos of my teaching workload.. i m dissatisfied bcos i have to teach the class at nite.. and i ve heard lotsa creepy stories regarding this building at nite.. scary laweyyy
anyway... I hope 'it' wont show its faces to me la during the time..
or else i t d gonna be anothr label in my blog namely "Ghost stories' kan?

S E P I ..

still in 'sepi' mode.. been humming tis song since i watched the clip on tv tis morning, b4 i went down to work.. the movie trailer just complete the weepy part of it. kinda haunting song tho.. and every time i hear the song.. i never failed to weep..
sedih wooo.... (i mean if u really 'listen' to the song). well I do..

eh kira ok la tu kan.. sekali sekala in sentimental mode..

attaching the lyrics here..

sepi hati terjadi lagi
mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
biar senyum hadir di hariku
namun ini hanya ada di bibir
di bibir saja
aku ini yang bisa mengerti
walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
namun berat beban di hidupku
biarkan saja biar saja
hanya ku yang tahu
sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap kuberdiri
oh! ada saatnya kubicara
bila hatiku t'lah bulat
sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam
oh! sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap ku berdiri
oh! ada saatnya ku bicara
bila hatiku t'lah bulat
sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam..


anyway.. life has been pretty hectic recently. manjang meeting.. manjang training...
sungguh productive makcik nowadays..
.. but still i feel like this song is telling about...
heeee... *mode bingai*
kah kah kah

Loneliness ( translated : sepi)

wawawawa.. at last i finally feel like updating this blog. Well, actually i m not dat bz , well not as bz as Incik Shah la kan. Tapi seperti biasa la i tried to make myself bz, so dat ppl wont point their fingers at me and accusing me of not doing any works ( ka kah kah). Boleh kan gitu? 'This will be the last day of our freedom ( mine especially, bcos the studnts will return next week, the new students will start flooding in this coming monday, and we have our not so grand orientation week which i ve been including myself as one of the 'menyebuk' comittee. well its good for yr SKT kan.. cesss!
Anyway, back to my last day of freedom. we, d 3 stooges, decided to celebrate it at alamanda. yes, tats the only place which is very close to our fac, and u can get to see n mengumpat all those govt servants ( erm I mean full govt servants )which will be having their shopping sprees rite after gaji day. ( uish jahatnya aku kan)
Anyway, we did manage to get the tickets to watch .. jeng jeng jeng.. guess wat..! we watched Sepi the movie, yes.. a malay movie ( yg lepas aku tengok, i ve given it a 5 star).. its the same movie from the director who directed 'Cinta" ( yes, ni info makcik nak bagitau specially for Incik Shah) kah kah kah.
I m in the mood of watching lovey dewy and weepy movie, so here it is. and i have to admit, tis movie is worth watching,, the dialogues are so natural, and the plot.. ooohh my God, terasa meresap masuk dlam hati sanubari ku.. U wud just simply weep by watching their face expressions. ( Incik Shah! lu patut tgk citer ni! )
well im not gonna elaborate any further, but to summarise it all.. all those 3 stories.. its all abt the second chance in love.. ( and the sound tracks, mak aihh.. remind me to buy the OST when they come out)..
and the cinematography,, its so.. beautiful. U have to watch it la.. if u wanna evaluate it.. ( agak2 berapa Khabir Bhatia nak bagi komisen kat aku ni ek, advertise movie dia hahah)
its a good movie, seriously.. If u have such a sentimental, 'looked strong outside but actually u r fragile inside' character ( cam aku.. kah kah kah), then tis is the movie for u.. its worth yr 7 ringgit ticket tau.. at the end of the movie, u r gonna sit back, reminiscing over yr life and have to agree, tat it might have similarity with some events happened in yrs.. ( but Im sorry, if u do not feel anything after watching this movie.. then.. there's something wrong la with u kah kah kah)
owh well.. this is gonna be a full weekend la as I have another training course on saturday and sunday. I cant stop talking about tis movie la, bcos u know, when u have watched a movie tat did some twist in our hearts, it d be like a song that wud spin in yr head all day long.. alaa.. cam ala ala incik Shah yg hum lagu rihanna dr pagi sampai ptg tu la.. huhuhuhu
well.. im gonna end la tis entry.. with 2 dialogues dalam movie tu.. in diff stories..
mengapa kita diketemukan hanya untuk berpisahh..(Adam to Ilyana)
Kita diketemukan kerana kita sudah ditakdirkan untuk bersama.. (Sufi to Marya)

owh btw.. i did weep... a bit.. i tried to control my tears.. i really did ( nak kontrol macho la tu kununnya).. but as a result, i felt tis lumpy thing inside my chest...
Duktur .. tulung... kih kih kih

Moral of the story: kalau nak nangis tu.. jgn tahan2.. nanti sapa susah kalau sakit dada? mereka dan keluarga mereka jugakk,...

Scribbling

Incik Shah! i m 'hapdeting' now. okkeyy!
Yes, I know, I ve been bz and lazy for the past 3 weeks. besides there r lotsa 'jinxy' things ( if there's such word)thing happened to me. Not that I m complaining. duh!
Eh.. 2 jejaka malaya ajak pi bfast kat tepi kuil hindu la plak.. ishh..
hmm.. i ll write again next time la ek,... janji dah 'hapdet' kan kan

Updating.

Finally, i am able to update my blog.. after ermm 8 days? hmm quite long for someone who faithfully updates her blog recently. and as priorly stated, i did not have time to evn logon to internet when i was home.
I came back last wednesday, took an 8.50 flite, reached lcct at 10 and straighytly headed to the faculty afterwards. siap heret luggage tu huhuhu.
Amboi Incik Shah, tak sayang jari tul tinggal komen cam tu.. takpa takpa.. ada kari ada pengeras.. kahkahkah
The ankle is getting better, on the day i went back, i was the last one who went inside the plane, apa taknya, jalan cepat skit daripada kura-kura jek. tapi dengan semangat yang kental, sampai juga aku ke rumah dengan selamatnya, sempat singgah pasar baung beli nasi kerabu hitam. hari Jumaat, aku dah berjalan sakan.. hari sabtu pergi Pengkalan kubor in the afternoon, and hari ahad, dengan semngat yang berkobar, bcoa i knew, i wont be able to shop for the next 2 days cos I d be bz attending the khenduri. Therefore, i shopped in a record time. as bak wont be able to park anywhere, the people, ( i mean the orang luar as the kelantanese called em ) have flooded all shopping areas in KB. most road are congested. Huh.. tobat aku nak balik Kb time cuti skolah next time. dan dengan gigih juga aku memanjat tangga pasar lama tu semata2 nak beli tudung dekat tenpat makcik yg biasa aku beli. i am one of her regular customers anyway. and believe it or not, i finished my shopping less than an hour, went to 3 shop at different places. im impressed wth myself.
Monday, we were at auntie's at Kg huda whole morning. at 3, we cant stand the heat anymore, so i went back home, terus terbongkang dalam bilik. on Tuesday, we went there after zohor. manusia punya la ramai. lupa pulak nak snap pic with the pengantin yg sungguh bz layan tetamu dan bertukar persalinan 4-5 kali. My sis sent another auntie back home. She just lost a daughter ( my cousin) 2 months ago. Bila dah masuk tumah dia, nampak anak2 dia yg kecik2 tu, ternampak2lak dia berlegar2 dalam rumah tu.. terus menitis airmata.
it was a very packed schedule masa kat sana.. cam tak puas jek duk melepak2 kat rumah.. byk lak tu yg lum makan. i rushed back thinking tat i have to attend a 2days workshop yg tetiba telah dipostpone last minute. arghhh.. rasa nak jek patah balik Kb semula.
The faculty was a bit quiet. looks like everyone has decided to spend the holidays wth the kids. Eh aku yg tak der kids ni pun, patut gak cuti kan?
Mood masih lagi takada untuk bekerja. and due to the heat n humid weather in KB, aku telah mendapat batuk2 dan selsema yg masih lagi tak kuar dengan sepenuhnya.. cam hampeh jek kan...
apart from that... i m still kicking and alive.. boleh gitu?

During my absence..

I was exhausted today. First, it was due to my swollen ankle, yang masih sakit bagai nak mati ( mati ke?) bila nak jalan. Tot of calling sick at first, tapi baru ingat aku tak tutup pc kat opis, and besides, i need n have to finish one paper to be submitted to the journal.Kalau tak set cam tu, alamat Im not gonna publish anything la tis year. Being in one of the reserach university, we r forced to publish lotsa papers so tat tis RU status will remain. Sapa cakap kije kat universiti tadak tekanan? Tekanan bagai.. but Im not gonna grumble n complain in here la. Life's too short to do dat anyway.
Anyway, I ll be on leave starting tomorrow till 27th. kalau cuti lama2 tu kiranya balik kampung la. Attending a cousin's wedding as well. I m the only one who ll be back for the khenduri. The rest of my siblings semua bz kalahkan VIP (not blaming them tho). My 1st bro is in Japan till 31 st, The 2nd one is in France on tat khenduri day. The youngest sis sibuk on call pasal kena cover senior yg tgh xm. tat left me yg semedang tak bz la kan ? kah kah kah. Tu pun kira aku dah ponteng 2-3 meeting time aku cuti. alaaahh.. kije tak kan pernah abis la pun.
So I ll be in KB dan berpoya-poya dengan bahagianya for the next few days. I can feel the excitement already.
I wont be posting during my absence. Wud be very lazy to get online at home. With the slow connection over there, who will..
Ishhh sudah terbayang keenakan nasi kerabu nih... yummyy..

Till then.. have a good life !

ahh another day to go thru.. i think i had enuff of the rest, and in my case, too much rest, will make my condition worsen.. the ankle is still swollen tho..
anyway, it's such a fine morning.. a bit cloudy, such a nice day to be tucked in bed all day long.. my sis text-ed me, cant wait for me to go home.. she has passed her exam by the way, and now she cant wait to treat the rest of the family members (me included la kan, kakak sayang dia.. kah kah kah). im going back to attend a cousin's wedding. besides i havent been back sincle last raya haji.. and tat was like 6 months ago? fuiyooo! Zura, the sis, asked me wehther i wanna share in buying a wedding gift for the cousin, and I said yes, yeah, its another wedding gift of microwave for the cousin, we gave a microwave to anthr cousin on her wedding last year.. yes.. we re a 'microwave' family.. kah kah kah.
am trying to paste some pics in here.. well, it was me 39 years ago.. heheh just kidding.. it's my youngest niece.. oppss.. the second youngest i think.. lost counts of the numbers of nieces n nephews..

Tis is one dull entry!

I m so so in need of a break.. a long one.. a trip to overseas maybe (unfortunately i dun hv enuff money to purchase an airfare, not even when AIRASIA is selling 0 cent tickets), even if i do, i cant go alone, after a series of unfortunate event lst september, I have this phobia of going to any place by myself (work place is an exception la )
I dun feel like 'bonding' wth the rest of the family this wkend. Even tho i have already packed my.. errm things to stay overnite ( actually i only packed my pills) at my bro's, i changed my mind at the last min. So as usual la, i m hooked with the tv + my l-shaped sofa, soooo malas nak pi mana2, even too lazy to eat.. sheeshh.. as tis age.. i am not supposed to act like a middle 20s missy la kan.
and this afternoon, tetiba keinginan untuk keluar dan menyedut udara segar membuak2.. kah kah kah..
but still malasnya nak melangkah keluar and one more thing.. i dun have any friends nowadays...
most of the freinds r either married with kids n spouse, the single ones, they have their own league of frends, and tat left me with...hmmm? me, myself and i? kah kah kah.. so pathetic!
im too old to develop a new hobby.. by the way...
* still tryng to figure out how to upload the pics in here* all the wordings with no pic ni.. ishhh. * tetiba jek rasa jeles kat blog Encik Shah*

P.S I love you

I know I should stop being a crybaby. I wish I could stop sobbing whenever i watch a romantic movie. Tis is so tiring la. i m all dehydrated because of this ( and yes, I am exaggerating!)
I managed to watch P.S I love you, this morning. and yes, i am at home and yes, i m not well.. the knee started to swell and became very painful over the nite, and yes, its normal condition to me.. and no, I dun cry bcos my knee hurts, no, not at all.. ( u dun cry over the pain experience routine ( or watever thing u call it).
so back to this morning's event, i text-ed my colleague telling her dat I wont be in today, and also text-ed pakcik cab tat he doesnt have to pick me up today.
My day started a bit late tho, as i decided to sleep a lil bit more. owh.. and its the day tat miss 'dysmenorrhea' decided to attack me, so now i have another reason for not going to work . I felt the "swollen knee' thingy is not a concerete excuse for taking a leave, but with miss dysmenorrhea pestering my womb, yahhh... it sure one good excuse to call sick.
back to P.S I love you.. yes its a movie title based on the same novel written by Cecilia Ahern. Nahh.. havent read the book yet, tho i ve been flipping over a few pages, even read the review bla bla bla when I was at Kikokuniya some weeks ago. Somehow, the plot has the similarity with anthr book that i read, its by ermm.. i cant remember, i think the book is on the messy table beside the dining table. Owh,, now I remember, written by Marian Keyes, and its called.. ermm never mind not important tho.
I didnt finish the book, i got so tired sobbing over every page tat i decided i should stop.. nevertheless i cant do the same when i watched Ps I love u, although i did pause the dvd for like 3 times, as I need to get some drink, and yes, whilst tears r still brimming on my cheek. it is such a pathetic sight anyway ( Thank God, Im all alone at home).
Hmm.. maybe I shud read the book later..( and risking yrself of the dehydrating ) No wayyy!
It is a very good movie, and I would recommend to every one ( who read my blog, yeah.. i know only a few kerats of them)
Some how this movie made us ( i mean me) think, of how yr life wud be like after u lost someone u loved. and how she has managed to go on with the life with the assistance of stacks of letters posted to her after her husband's death.
I should have not read the synopsis before watching it, I ended up sobbing as soon as the movie started and sobbing thru out the movie. I pity my tear gland today. It has been working exhaustively since last sunday.
I think i should take anti-sad movie pills for dat.
on a better note, the knee cap is not as painful as it was this morning. I wish i cud cry due to the pain, but nah.. i ve been crying, weeping over the illness many years ago ( and been asking Why, why me GOd? ) nahh just kidding. i didnt do dat la.
i m over the pain. over the grieve. at this age ( tagline tu!), i tend to mope over the things that i m not able to anser, or things that u ve knwn for a long time, but u r so scared to bring up the qs because you think, if u finally reveal yr trueself to others, they wud know tat u r not as strong as they tot u r. and all these years, u r actually pretending to be strong ( and ignorant too )bcos u realise there r other people who r more helpless n more unfortunate than u r, but still not even once, they wud grumble or complain like by being themselves, its the end of their world.
ahaaa.. i know all these sobbing over some 'sad' movies will lead me to some crappy philosophies of mine.
I rest the case then. I know I m still normal bcos I ve been drooling over the guys in tat movie, and mann.. Harry Connick Jr is so slimm. didnt recognise him till i saw his name appeared on the screen.
Owh.. u may not know him anyway..
last but not least..
P.S I love u *chuckles*

27 blobs of tears

I was so besotted with my 'gembeng-ness' yesterday dat i forgot to update how my weekend was really like (minus the overflowed dam part i mean). i always look forward to weeeknds, and to top up my excitement, i have purchased 2 movie dvds. Yes, and those movies, I have been so looking fwd to watch it, even tried asking my colleagues to watch it at the cinema, tapi memandangkan masa tu i was superduper occupied, sampai nak makan pun tak sempat, i missed both movies when they were shown in cinema.
First thing, i did on saturday nite, I switched on d dvd player and this is the first time i used it after astro been installed at home. Unfortunately, the player cant detect the dvd, so apa lagi i tot it must have been the tv ( best kan aku, blame everything that is around u), to make it worse, the dvd player yg hampeh tu wasnt able to detect both dvds , howwever, after a few attempts, it did detect the 3rd dvd, Juno . I ve alreday blamed the dvd player actually, so when d 3rd movie was peacefully shown on tv, i blamed it on the dvd la kan. im not going to blame myself la of course, for not asking Sam, the dvd shop owner to try it first on his dvd player.
So, dengan yakinnya , i tot there was something wrong wth the dvds. and my friday nite has been ruined already. Dengan tak kosernya , aku tengok gak citer tah apa2 kat astro tu and decided to go to bed, bila tv dah tgk aku. owh juga dgn satu harapan, i still hv saturday n sunday, to return the dvds.
Saturday was spent with me hesitating whether i shud have either breakfast or lunch outside. ended up wth mehaving bfast at home and aku tapau lunch from kedai belakang rumah ( the bestest and cheapest ikan bakar with air asam tat u cud get, not to mention kakak cantik's sambal tempoyak)
Im not gonna narrate how the rest of the saturday went on la kan as u may puke if u know tat aku asyik terbaring jek atas sofa tu ,tanpa rasa bosan (i am so amazed with myself).
I have to skip telling how my sunday went on, bcos i ve put the events in my prev entry.
ok la.. so citer ni bersambung sampai kul 8 malam tadik. this morning i went to work as usual. and my knee is still in pain. Nothing much to do at work, ( actually there r things to do), but I ve been trying to book a ticket for an august trip. and since buying online is much cheaper, ( actually dah mengoodek2 menda ni since last nite, but i have problem to fill my last name online. ended with an incomplete booking, credit card error bla bla, and i need to go to KL to purchase the ticket. Cam hampehh la kan. Kl tu aku pergi 2 kali setahun jek tau. Luckily i have someone volunteered to drive me there. we came back from KL around 5 and i straightly went to kedai Sam to return d dvds. and when he tried it on his dvd player, jeng jeng jeng.. it worked! haaaa i was so embrassed while mumbled something like, i i shud try it in my lappy first la kan( ishh.. it did occur in my tot, tapi tu lahh.. )
so tanpa berlengah2 lagi, sebaik sahaj sampai dirumah, terus lah daku meng-on lappy ku itu , inserted d dvd, put on d headphone, so dat i ll get a 100% concentration, and yesh.. seperti biasa mak cik gembeng ini ended up sobbing infront d lappy.
it was 27 dresses d movie, and i couldnt find any sentimental elements in d movie, but still i cried. hmm come to think of it, i cry in watever ocassions, sedih ka, gumbira ka, seram ka, thriller ka, bosan ka, happily ever after ka, bla bla bla...
anyway 27 dresses is a good movie. owh.. i m watching P.S i Love you, next.
itu jek nak citer, nothing interesting pun
hihihih...
owh.. moral of the entry :
1. kena beli dvd player baru
2. i m such a romantic fool.. action packed is not my kinda movie
3. I cant drink nescafe after 3 pm. or else, i d get the worst palpitation..
... sungguh tak relevannya kan...

A tale of a prodigal daughter

Hari ni hari ibu. since yesterday, I dun know how many times i have wept. Dengar lagu Bonda, aku nangis, dengar Aisyah nyanyi lagu syurga ditelapak kaki ibu, aku berair mata lagi. tengok citer kat astro tu, tak tau manyak kali aku teresak-esak, tengok berita pun aku leh meleleh airmata.
Must be the hormone.. huhuhu
Ni sambil tulis blog ni pun, mata dah start berair..
owh,, and i wept too when i tried to put the bedsheet last nite..
The good thing is ( eh good thing ke? ), I live alone, so i dun have to answer to anyone, the reason I cried.. or i do not have to control tis human dam from flowing..
Owh.. and i cried again when i watched the cerekarama last nite.. u know the mom who gave her one eye to his son. ( bunyi cam familiar jek kan citer tu )
If my mom were here ( I mean beside me, she must have told me, tat such stories do occur in real lives, and we both will weep together while watching the drama)
I love my mom ( everybody does, except for those characters y kat drama tu kan, tu pun Bak will have the anser for it.. which is " dah Pnegarah dia suruh berlakon cam tu " )
I used to think tat my mom loves my youngest sister more than me. and it wud be very obvious when we both avail at the same time. Mom will give more attnetion to my sis.
Mom wont let me do a lot of things, ( yeah, I know it's due to my health and mobility problem. Mom worries a lot about me. when i was hospitalised for a few months and later i was not able to walk for 2 years. I missed the old life so much ( I was in my 1st year at dat time).and when i wanna start my life back again by continuing my study, my mom was so reluctant to let me go. It took some time to convince her tat I wud be all rite.
"Macamana nak pergi kelas, nak turun naik tangga" I have to admit that she was dementedly worried. Even tho how many times that I told her that I would survive, she still didnt believe me.
>"tak payah la belajar, duduk jek kat rumah.. ma ada kat rumah. Kalau jadi apa2 ma tak risau"
but i am always a stubborn girl. No one is able to stop me when i ve decided. Luckily I ve Bak who really understand me. He's the one who backed me up everytime. Without his support, I dun think I ll end up as I wat I am now.
Tapi tak dapat la dinafikan, kedegilan aku ni kadang2 melampau2 sampai Ma pun pening dengan aku. However as time goes by, she has started to go with my flow. memang aku ni anak yg tak makan saman.
tak dinafikan juga, kalau kira kes yg buat aku nak berkecil hati ngan dia, i shud say, there r countless times. When i was younger< i used to think tat I was always rite and i wud never compromise. But now, I wud come out with so many excuses n reasons for any mom's doings. I wont simply accuse or blame my mom even tho she hurts me with her sayings. I blame myself for not trying to be in her shoes. and I think, I dun have any problem with my mom anymore. After all im her only unmarried daughter, kah kah kah. She can confide to me anytime. We spend hours talking via phone , updating about everything under the sun.
Well at this age, it s a bit weird when u still dun have yr own family, but with ma n bak beside me, I can face anything. Somehow, i have a tot that the reason I still live till now because I still have my parent and their endless support.
yeah.. its not easy to become me, u know..
I have tears streaming on my cheek while trying to finish te entry. ceh.. gembeng betul aku hari ni.
As i was brought in a typical malay family, we do not express our loves openly like the western-oriented family. I never said I love you to my mom directly (yeah, aku memang teruk), but I show it via my actions ( tapi taktau la kot2 mak aku tu tak paham2 jugak).
I know she knows, and Z know she wont read this blog. Reason? alaa nak baca paper pun dia malas, apatah lagi menda2 yg virtual ni kan.
Kalau nak dikira jasa ibu, aku rasa kalau aku persembahkan segunung intan dan segaung emas pun, belum tentu memadai lagi. Segala kerisaua dia untuk aku yg dari kecik sampai besar asyik sakit jek, yang menyebabkan dia cepat dapat darah tinggi pun, agaknya penyebbabnya pun aku la.
Sementelah aku ni pun, tak der sapa2 selain ibu, ayah dan adik beradik. Iya lah, kalau org lain.. ehem , AT THIS AGE, u have to divide yr attention n love to different groups of people. when u already have yr own family, yr parents comes second dah la kan.
as for me,, my Ma n bak will always come first. Taktau la macamana rasanya kalau ditakdirkan Allah mengambil mereka dahulu daripada aku. I dun wanna imagine it.
Well, since airmata aku dah hampir kering, and all this weeping thingy has starved me up.. I wud better stop now.
A friend used to say to to me, "' CC ko ni nampakjek kuat kat luar, but inside, u r very fragile" Hmm aku tak ingat dah sapa yg cakap cam tu.. Ko ke tu MG?
heheh.. betul la tu.. but im trying to be strong internally n externally now. Well for a start, i will accept watever things tat are served infront'f me. I wud try not to complain and grumble ( except dalam blog ni la kan, keh keh ). I'd try to adjust in watever my life has been dictated to.
ishh penat la nangis ni... cehhhh!

hard habit to break

I have one bad habit to share with a few kerats of my readers here * while rolling my eyes*. Ecewah! Honestly, i dun think i m the only one who has this problem. I guess everybody does, and maybe they dun think its one bad habit. They might call it as.. killing time , or working or intending, or apa la2 ( haha aku dah meroyan), but I called it as one of my bad habits,.. which is..
jeng jeng..
bloghopping in between your task..
which is not very good la..
as it may consume half of yr working time , but suddenly.. ko dah melompat2 sampai kemana-mana..
and dat time is wasted by doing things tat is totally unrelated to yr works.. ( ok i guess if u have so much free time and u dun have anything to do, its ok la to bloghop)
but I m now referring to myself n my deadlines.. ( more like promises to myself)
Hoih.. back to work.. enuff ramblings..
P.s saja buat gempaq.. sebab tetiba rasa nak post entry..
I was actually reminding myself la...

Men Never Listen!

Its a fine morning today, In a few minutes, I ll be attending a "sorta' seminar on biotechnology ( which is not my niche area anyway, but hantam sajalah.. ) at Shangrila. and the reason i m posting so early today is because.. jeng jeng jeng.. I have a joke to share with a few kerats of the readers who read my blog ( la kan! ).. No.. i m not ambitious anyway. Never intend to advertise my blog to public. and never leave any marks in other ppl's blogs cos I m just a silent Reader. heh apa aku merapu pepagi ari nih? .. By the way, here's the joke. got it from my colleague when i opened my mail box just now.. Men never listen! .. ( Indeed!) kah kah kah

MEN NEVER LISTEN!!

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts
to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

A nurse noticed his predicament. "Sir", she said " You may
use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on
the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the
buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by
letters: WW , WA , PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he
touched them?

He couldn't resist. He pushed WW. Warm water was sprayed
gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's
restrooms don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm
air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this
stopped, he pushed the PP button.

A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile
scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. The ladies
restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't
wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy. He
was immediately knocked out by an excruciating pain.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital
bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed.

"The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button."

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your
testicles are now in this jar, sir."

kah ! kah ! kah!

4 hari 5 malam.

Ok la, so i ve come back to work.. after 4 fantabulous days at my bro's. *Grinning*. I only reached office at 11. Tumpang my bro to KL sentral ( he has forewarned me tat he's going late to work this morning, and since i dun have anything to do pun kalau datang awal. so i just go with his flow la) took a train to serdang , bersiar2 makan angin kat kajang silk highway since the cab sent someone to petronas reserach 1st , and he missed the exit to hospital serdang, thus it took me abt 30 minutes to reach my beloved fac from serdang station. I didnt mind at all.
whilst at my bro's i ve: ( not in chronological order)
1. finished 5 novel mlayu in 3 days
2. sobbed like 1/2 jug of tears
3. hibernated for more than 48 hours in the house. Favorite spot is the breakfast table at the patio, which is at the backyard. Second fav spot is a rest chair which faces the fish pond. IF i opened the sliding door, i cud hear the sound of the man-made fountain. soooo soothing
4. finished half jar of the chow rasta;s jeruk in the fridge
5. broke my own Guiness's record, to sit still for more than 3 hours trying to finish a book. Did it twice, and my sis in law said.. i can actually imitate a patung cendana.. kah kah kah
6. tried to cut down my food intake by taking only 2 meals/day but how come i still feel tat i m gaining on for the things that i didnt eat
7. Went to MPH and spent more than 200 ringgit buying all those novels.. hah makcik gelap mata tetiba tengok byknya bukuu.. tats how i ended up reading so many books within 3 days
8. my green lappy keep on missing in action .. tetiba jek tengok dah ada kat atas

Overall.. i just love being surounded with the family. Ngeehh..
Upating on the nephews in nieces..
Afif is so into 'shuffle; nowadaays and he's so creative tat he started putting his own video in u-tube.
Amir is so into music nowadays.. Abg Li gave him an electronic keyboard for his good PMR result last year.. so every now and then, he'd googling on u-tube to listen to his kinds music, and I have to admit.. he has a good choice of music.
Afif can take good photos.. I ll try to post some of his photos in my blog later
Amal asked me once" Che Ngah, r u a scientist" and her Che Ngah buat tatau jek.. later on, he confessed to his umi.. and wrote on his so called scrap book.. December 4th. When his umi asked what' such date is for.. he retorted.. The day I m gonna be a scientist!".. kah kah kah
Aina sofia, the 2 yrs old amoi jepon look-alike.. is so obsessed with bunga cina. Whenever she pointed at any flowers planted at the front yard of the house.. she said.. "bunga cina"
Abg Li bought a new handphone with so many gadgets. there's a GPS, 3G ( the reason he bought it bcos he need a 3G phone to call the family when he's in Japan. there'd be numerous trips to japan in the future.
tasha?.. still bz with the tuitions n all.
I have realised tat all of them ( except Amal and Nana) are much taller than me now *sighing*
and I just realised.. i am gonna be ( actually am becoming more) like my mom.. I m so lazy to go out nowadays. Really love the comfort of my own home.. or anyone's home.. as longa s I dun have to go out... I d be extra happier..
owh.. btw we had dinner at William's last nite. I finally convinced my bro to bring us to William's after seeing so many blogs recommending this place. owh well, its not very far from my bro's hse anyway. Afif even snapped pics while we're there. owh.. the food was good.. as they wrote. its very worthwhile.
and i m gonna go back home in a few minutes.
yay! back to my own quiet abode.. udah 4 hari dong aku ninggal-ing rumah. Rindu banget!
Till then..

Satu hari di hari Pekerja

Basically, Im not supposed to post anything today la kan? bcos its Hari pekerja, and as a pekerja, I should not do anything today, touch anything which relates to work, or think abt work as well. Stop thinking abt your work for only one day because Its Labour Day ! duhh! ( anyway Im not sure about other ppl's interpretation, some think by doing OT today, they ll get triple pay ( tat's wat I learnt for having factory operators' as hsemates)
As for me, money is not everything (ewah, coming from me, sounds like hypocrites la plak kan?). Of course, u need to have lotsa money to satisfy yr needs, yr shopping lusts( duh!), your childrens's school fees etc, yr house loan, yr PTPN loan, yr credit card bills, yr Gucci handbag, yr twice a month meal at Secret Recipe, kah kah kah)
But.. MOney cant buy happiness ! ( yeah sounds familiar rite? ) its the favorite quote of the year when a mullticorporate man ( on CerekaRama) neglects his wife and children due to his workaholic attitude ( and there r such dialogues as " saya buat semua ni, untuk awak juga, untuk anak2 kita juga, awak kan nak kalung gedabak yg dipakai oleh Cik Yam sebelah rumah tu juga kan, dari minggu lepas awak duk hint-hint dekat saya . ha, si Pi'e ( which happend to be his 15 yrs old son who s so into Indie group, even mimicking like one) tu asyik duk sms saya ( the wonder of handphone) mintak belikan drum, nak suruh masukkan dia kat kelas muzik, nak jadi cam pakcik Husin dia tu ( well, of course he doesnt have any idea tat Pie was actualy telling him about his dream to form a group like the famous (famous ka? sheeesh!) Meet Uncle Hussin"
later this multicorporate man continues, while confronting his nagging wife ( the one who suddenly showed some concerns about her family , and tat is due to an unforgettable event happened at her kitchen tat afternoon( that is anther story which will be narrated later)
"lea tu lagik la ( happened to be her 12 yrs old daughter who thinks tat she has a barbie image with Britney Spear's voice) duk merengek2 kat saya nak kan handphone Nokia E series tu, Katanya senang dia nak tahu latest news pasal Britney, leh bukak internet lagi masa cikgu tengah mengajar"
he clears his throat for like a few seconds, and again continues " Semua tu nak kena pakai duit, jadi saya kena kerja kuat la Mah ( the wife's name), kena entertain clients, kena main golf ngan client, bla bla bla ( tak kose aku nak sambung alasan dia tu)"
the wife , with aworried face, while trying to pat the husband's back ansered" tapi duit bukan segalanya Bang. Anak kita tu perlukan abang. Saya perlukan abang! " ( u can hear mah sobbing a little at this time)
In the mean time, Lea is engroessedly talking thru the phone with a friend, Danny ( happened to be her one nonth bf), and Pie? yes.. Pie is ym-ing wth his friend Muiz, and at the same time, listening to some 'loud cracking' songs in YouTube.
....
yeah, some typical scenario of malay cerekaramas rite? ( Im not gonna tell u how the cerekarama ends, u sure can guess la, u can even become the director for the drama hahaha.
So back to our Hari Pekerja ( see, how far I went just to elaborate the quote, kah kah kah)
i wish all of you, Selamat hari Pekerja, irregardless u r a Blue collar, white collar, orange collar, dog collar? kah kah kah.
and Pls remember one thing..This is the day that u shud think abt yrself, not everyone else, Please be selfish on this one day. think abt yr children, yr wife, and ur bibik, let her go out today so dat she wud have a time of her own. Do your own cooking today. Pls erase any idea of going to any shopping complex today ( even tho its yr kinda idea of spending quality time with yr beloved family)
well its more than a thing already.
yeah, I know , i know.. i am overbabbling. Its such a fine day anyway, the sky is clear, the weather is fabulous, and yes.. i m about to go to my bro's and 'bond' myself with the rest of the family.. kah kah kah
( Tho i prefer to laze on this sofa, watching Tv all day, stuck at my own home, raving in my blog )
Ciao sin!

and life goes on..

Feel like updating my blog (again!). need to be fast tho, read a report from a known source telling that, ppl tend to spend long hours on updating or checking emails during office hours, and now, I am one in those surveys la ek.Cet!
I was sick yesterday ( tho i felt like a horse the day before). Must be the sore throat, ( or i must have fogotten to drink anything b4 going to bed). To make it worse, I felt a slight pain on my prosthetic knee when i went down the stairs. and it hurt like (ermmm hell) when i tried to bend the knee. Not sure whether the joint was inflamed ( eh, its a prosthesis, camna nak bengkak lak kan), but maybe the bone or the muscle around tat joint was roughly sore ( saspen! or i maust have overworked my muscles off since there's some slight pain on the muscles around that area as well). Lantak la kan! (This is the usual, dominant ignorant side of me speaking!)
So it was a half day work for me ysterday. did some works in the morning, and by 2, i am already back home. Took some mtxs at nite, dozed off rite after isyak, and woke up a few times for toilet sessions. the drug, well it gave some nauseous side effect this morning. which is not very nice la kan.
I wont elaborate more on this miserable CC anyway.
Just feel like writing bcos I m now waiting for the studnts to submit their theses so tat i cud give the marks asap. So far, nobody has shown up yet, There r other things tat I cud do while waiting for them such as.. sharpening the pencils (again?), admiring the bracelet, which i got from Korea, a colleague who just came back from Seoul gave it as a souvenir. or bermuhasabahkan diri? (kah kah kah)
I rest my case la. Overall, this is not one of those mornings that i feel like a chatter box- chattering my heart out. I ve to admit, I am sick. It does influence my usual life style tho.
Yahhh! tat doesnt mean, i cant continue to be crappy like always kan!

Of tuna spaghetti and ...

I have decided to update my blog after numerous session of blog-hopping since this afternoon. yeah, the new hobby that i have developed since i switched to blogspot. No more irritations or annoyance on the blog syok sendiri in ekawan. hahaha. (kutuk tu).. at least. i have started reading high quality blogs , and no more mellow, crappy ntah hapa2 blog. ok enuff about the condemning-session. At this age ( see still with my tag line), i tend to get bored, or to the worst, start nak cari pasal with hmm anyone who ve been trying to cross my path ( eh aku cakap apa ni ha! musykil la plak)
anyway, on a different note, this is another frutiful weeeknd that i ve been spent alone at home. As usual, lazed around, while thinking whether i should clean the house or just leave it in its usual condition. Its not real messy to be exact, and i still can live in this house without worrying of having an asthma attack later on. made some sandwiches in the morning. while munching the sandwich, there's a few interesting movies on tv as well.went out to tapau the lunch meal around 12. yes, outta sudden i feel like going down, while bringing down the trash and let the sun shine on me (huh.. lain macam jek statement aku nih.. hahah)
afternoon was pend watching more programmaes on tv yg ntah hapa2, but still i feel like parading in n outta my kutchen yg sekangkang kera tu, and then i decided to sweep the floor ( hah ambik ko!) still procrastinating on wat to do next, whether mopping it later on or, vacuum it. i decided not to do any. so back to my fav position on the sofa, lying on my rite while clicking on the mouse, 2 books besides me, which i frequently changed its function as japanese pillows.. (hah tu dia, creative amat aku)
i only slept at 2 am.. wont tell what make me stay up till tat wee hour.. hahah
so, today.. i have decided not to go out at all. i can live with the leftover sandwiches for breakfast ( ces!) and dozed off till 1 ( so embrassing kan?) bangun jek, decided to polish my cooking skill by making tuna spaghetti. took an hour ( tat long, ches!) bcos i have decided to peel all those garlics n shallots and blended em. (baguskan aku, even tho i only cooked once in a few months hahah)
i had my lunch at 3. and i m impressed with myself.. even tho, spaghetti tuna yg ku goreng doesnt taste like my SIL's. (I think there'r a few ingredients that lacked in my dishes.. hmm but still its edible to me)
On different story, mom called me a few nites ago. havnt called her for the last 2 weeks. updated me with yat's wedding preparation. and then i updated her with some news at my bro's. owh btw, apa koba la agaknya my 2 sisters tu? the last time i heard from Zuni, was when i went to her hse with Zura, and tat was like a month ago.
tetiba rindu plak kat Aleeya and Rayyan, Zuni's children. haa and speaking about Rayyan, i think its the most fav/ in-name tat most moms want to name his sons nowadays. u know, like when ppl start naming their sons as Danish or Daniel, and the it will quieten down. Now its 'name yr son as Rayyan' season. hehehe.
i did a facial by myself today. again I m impressed of myself hehehe. been very lazy to take care of my skin and now i feel obligated to do it. U know.. AT THIS AGe.. hahaha
eh, till then. My face feel a bit itchy now after applying some mask.. almakum la, wat facial setahun sekali.. sooo not gloria gaynor.. bak kata MG ..
ciao!

The Tibai session

At this very moment, i m desperately seeking for any anti-yawning inducer. tengah tersengguk-sengguk cam burung belatuk while trying to digest every hellish statement that they put in their theses. yes, one more thesis to tibai. 3 done!i mean almost. the only therapy that i can think of rite now, is by sharpening my pencil every 30 mins ( tat showed how much i ve corrected their so called draft). life's been hectic for these last few days. Even tho i ve been reminding them to send their drafts by chapters, and defintely not in one whole stapled booklet tat consists all the chapters, but still they did tat. and aku bagai nak pecah kepala, trying to finish 3 theses in 2 days. since tis is only the first drafts, so bagai nak retak la jugak tempurung kepala, to come out with better, flowed text and sequential para. well, i m not so good in english as well, but when u wrote like u speak, tat means big probbblem. Read this : from the result, we can indicate that treated 32 mg/kg is very significant compare than other treated. 0.6M HCl show not very significant because only necrosis show significant. Just ignore all the grammatical error but focus on the gist of this statement. huh! tangkap nangis aku baca!
Makcik tgh beristighfar bebanyak sambil terus menibai satu-satunya tesis yg harus dihabiskan , let say within 2 hrs. yes, I can do it. CC boleh!
Nonetheless, no matter how much i tried to potray myself as one fierce lecturer, i d certainly miss their presence when they r no longer here. They r graduating this coming July. most of them have registered for Master degree, so i can still see them for the next 2 years.
Another story, I watched Congkak the movie 2 days ago. well, its not my kinda idea to release yr tension by watching horror movie, but then, we, me n my 2 best friends at work have set a date with Congkak long before it's been premierly shown in cinema. the sound effects. mak ai.. i dun think my heart cud take it. its too loud for my sensitive ears and crooked heart, lol.
I am still sleepy. dah penat kunyah popcorn lemau , a leftover from the 2 days ago nya movie. Just done with the viva for all those 81 students. next week, there's another presentation for the best 5 in each health sciences programme. They appointed me as the Timbalan pengerusi. kah kah.. and my task is to attend every meeting and show up during the rehearsal + makan2 lagi for the enxt 2 consecutive days. Sheesh! makan lagik..
Nih mana student aku tak muncul2 lagik ni.. janji kul 2.. cessss!

Sad Movies always make me cry

Now I know why I m so looking forward to spend my weekends in my humble abode. Its been week since i last had a nice quiet wknd at home. I think it was a month ago, Hmm.. let me recall back d series of 'unfortunate events' that I ve spent outside on weekend a month ago:
Last week. I have to be in the exam hall of the faculty on saturday. Rite after d exam, which is abt 11, i rushed to Kota Damansara. Well its been a while since I last visited the elder sibling ( + the nephews and a niece, with a tagline of " Cik Ngah nak balik bila?" when she first see me arrived (sungguh kurang asam kan?) hahaha
2 weeks ago, I was at Trader hotel from thursday till friday. Motive? : accompanied my sis who attended a medical conference at KLCC there. in terms of room-partnering jek .
3 weeks ago : I was in Royale Bintang Seremban from friday till sunday, atatnded some kinda mind-tiring workshop there.
4 weeks ago: well.. the faculty had a 2 days finishing school for the final studnts and I was one of the facilitators. It's a 8-5 course for 2 consecutive days. A tiring one, to be added
5 weeks ago: Hmm cant really remember but I think, I ws at home, being sick. had a worst dysmenorrhea and i ended up lying down on d sofa most'f d time
6 weeks ago: I think it was an election weekend. i was supposed to attend another finishing school, but it was postponed. Arhh now i remember. i went to anothr TOT for the finishing school tat sunday.
7 weeks ago: The first finishing school ta I attended in Science Faculty.
8 weeks ago: went to Kota Damansara. left my sandals there to be repaired. well i havent got it back when i wanted to collect it last week.

so let me tell you, how my wonderful and not so gloomy but a bit cold (due to last nte's rain) saturday morning turned into a weepy morning.
I slept around 1 ish am. woke up at 7.30 (tats the latest tat i d be able to sleep). cant sleep later than dat during weekend ( funny, i complain about the lack of sleep on weekdays and how i wish I can sleep more on weekends, but the thing is, im not used to wake up late anymore. arh at tis age, u dun need more than 6 hrs of sleep)
Turned on d tv, snuggled in my l-shaped nest, and started crying while watching tis korean movie on astroKirana *rolling my eyes*. Its about a hospital namely garden of heaven. Its a hospital for dying patients. and my tears rolling on my ceek everytime one of the patients died. owh well i empathise, wat can i say. i have such a soft heart huhuhuhu and it 's abeautiful story with beautiful sceneries +a beautiful theme song with a not-so beautiful audience who stupidly sobbing infront of d tv.
What isnore blissful than sipping a mug of coffee ( not 3 in 1), a home made one, i made myself, a small sachet of nescafe ' 2 sachest of sugar and one sachet of creamer ( compliments from the previous hotel tat i stayed last time heheh), and cuddled in yr love-nest ( its a brown one, with a shape of L), a few cushions, so dat i can hide my ugly feet behind it, a stack of books beside me, i m planning to read em tis weeeknd. No, they r all ficstions and most of em r chic lits. need a dab of romance ( tho i know i cant found it in real life) but, it wont hurt to daydream once in a while eh, well.. even at tis age ( phew.. tis is gonna be my tagline from now on ; EVEN AT TIS AGE .. lol)
I love watching astro movies during weeknds . haaa.. its the confession of the month!
After taking a quick bath, while singing my heart out ( this morning, it was Dionne warwick's That's wat friends are for), chnaged the channel to hallmark. Another movie tat made me wept again. Gosh.. pls dun tell me, its gonna be another emotional saturday? i pity my gland tears today. it must have been working very hard , trying to secrete all d tears that i ve accumulated since last month. well good for me actually. more tears, less pressure inside myself.
Now i think i had enuff of weeping and sobbing. its almost 11.30 am now. hope ppl wont notice the red n puffy eyes when i go out for lunch later. eh.. need to put some eyecream around the area then.
owh.. gotta go. we ll update if there r other sad movies on tv induced me to become a cry makcik today. dun think so lah..
perhaps!
excuse me then. want to enjoy the rest of my weekend peacefully.

Dear Cik Sri Siantan

Seriously, I am so so not in the working mood. Every morning, when the alarm in my mobile starts singing Akon's Lonely (see? betapa patetiknya aku), my heart will start feeling so heavy. Its not that I prefer the coziness of my bed to the mundane daily routine tat i have to go thru before i opened the door of my house at 7.20 am
Its just dat....I think I need a change. A drastic change. not a few days leave ( I swear I m gonna be restless after a few hours doing nothing , looking forward to sitting on d chair in my office room). *sighing*
I think its a normal thing for women who r still alone at this age. No, no.. i m not complaining as I believed, jodoh itu di tangan tuhan. Not dat I haven't made any effort to seek for my Mister Right, but then, at tis age, I m not so keen to dat anymore. Am hoping that there' ll be some men who accidentally cross my paths on their way to KFC downstairs, kah kah!.
Ahh,, besides I have tonnes of work tat will never reduce no matter how hard i tried to finish em. There 'll always things to do, even tho the studnts r not around. Papers to write, numerous workshop to attend, lectures and talks to hear bla bla bla.
and other things like my never ending health problems (tho i used to ignore it la, pretending that i m healthy)
Masyallah.. jadi tempat luahan hati la plak blog ni.. cett!
sambung kije lah cam tu..

Not so monotonous Monday

This is the only monday dat I feel so relax, no deadlines,no studnts knocking ( more like bashing) at my door, no phone calls, I m so free,free like nelly furtado's bird, I must say.
No, dun get me wrong. I never hate mondays. There is never a manic monday to me. It always end up as productive mondays to me, because its the first day of the week. U start yr week, by going thru mondy, and for that the energy that u need to obtain for the rest of the week, has to be initiated from the 1st day of week which is the Monday ( best kan theori aku?) again, am impressed wth myself.
So, today, I am safely ensconced in a big leathr sofa at my bro's. The feeling of not going towork on monday, is undescribable. However, being a dedicated worker,I have brought 2unfinshed thesis draft of my students, 2 nttah-hapa-hapa- yg dorng tulis, sampai aku rasa depressed bila baca, ( but still i managed to correct all the grammatical errors, plagiarism text that they copied from non-mentioned sources.
The funny thing is, I dun have any mood to read any reading materials except for the students' theses. I have stackof novels that i havent opened yet, and with the only free time i have now, I am supposed to read em,no pressurre, no nothing. Tapi, apasal la aku malas sangat nih! haiyaaa
I cut my hair yesterday.with the assistance of a girl at one of the saloon in KD. hence,the head feels lighter today. Best best. Last i cut my hair, was 6 months ago, when i was with a cast and a sling on my left arm.
Eh, wat else is new la?
owh.. am thinking of merayau2 to any nearby shopping complex, but the nearest shopping conplex from tempat jin berendang ni pun is very far way ( to me la). ie The Curve ( not my fav place tho), Tapi.. it feels boring to explore it all by myself. need a companion cam Kak Sab tu, who will cheer me up everytime. Arghh.. talking about them,apa kabo la si Zura who has hurt her ankle last friday? Havent sent her any condolence yet, Cet.. kawan apa la aku nih..
Hmm..received 2 sms already from a student who wants to see me today. Eh.. aku on leave la.. tis is one thing which actually cud ruin my happy mood. Can inot be distracted with any thing from the office while i m trying to enjoy my not less than 24 hrs freedom ?
Can they just forget my presence for at least one day? what do they think Iam? a robot ( well ok, a cute one maybe) who wil serve them 24/7/365?
Please.. its been weeks since i last smell the fresh air after the rain. I dun even have time to check on my fine wrinkles which is forming more n more on my forehead. I havent socialised for a while, i mean a 'long while' , well a trip to Ampang Yong Tow Foo with the family last nite is not my definition of a 'social outing' . at 40,sometimes i think I need ppl to talk abt watever things under the sun except work.maybe a movie outing will do, seriously,i need to clear out my mind a bit. I need a vacation ( d one tat i dun need to eat along all d time). Boleh gitu?
I rest my case.. sakit belakang lak dah..

Thank GOD It's FRIDAY

Seriously, i am sooo impressed with myself. I ve updated my blog after 3 days.. seriously unbelieavable. In eSaWan, i have to be careful with d words, have to count every word i type so dat it wont exceed 1000 characters, yeah.. it did limit my creativity. I used to write lotttssaaa craps, ranting n rambling like nobody's biz.
ok la enuff abt it. in here, u dun have to worry wat other ppl think abt u, or 'brand' u. Nobody cares abt anyone here. I care abt no one here. nobody knew me here and vice versa. even Ida is not my real name. My real name is actually, Puteri Pucuk Kalumpang aka Pucuk Selom hahaha.
erkk.. not funny at all.
Starting today, I am now a proud owner of my own humble abode, di atas tanah yg sekangkang kera, tapi tetap la akan jadi umah aku jugak. I ve signed the S&P for the apartment. ye, hanyalah sebijik apartment yg berukuran 1045 sq feet, tapi cukuplah untuk cik kalumpang ini menumpang teduh daripada panas dan hujan juga tsunami keh keh keh.
and huwaaa... esok kena jaga exam, on saturday,, sungguh patetiknya.. but then i m eligible for one unrecorded leave on monday.. so rite after exam, im gonna rush to KD, Abg Li's still in KB. the last time i went there was like monthss ago, so harus lah aku pergi melawat anak2 menakan ku esok setelah sekian lama.
am still bz with the task of reading the studnts's thesis draft. still got unfinished 2 on d table. been engrossed with applying a grant for the greece's conference. ohh Acropolis, i ll be coming to u in August. Just wait for me!
GOd! i really dun understand myself, I can sit n watch these ppl blabbering abaout AF , watching loyally every AF diary, but I never wanna watch their concerts. Tis is the 4th week , and in d concert, i dozed off in the begining of d concert and only able to wake up when they announced who's gonna be voted out. never liked it tho
(mati la aku kena hentam kat pengundi AF)
arghh.. i m leaving. not gonna apply d eyecream at nite anymore, The eyes looks so puffy in d morning, well maybe its my imagination.. maybe i m meant to look ugly in d morning. well not only in dmorning, i m meant to look ugly all d time.
ces... inferiority complex dah plak...
tido la..
Nite!

Am Back!

Yes, I have given up on the eSawan, and Im gonna concentrate on this abandoned blog from now on. I ll write from time to time ( if i can remember my id n pw to open my own blog hahahah) and yes, i ll survive ( pls read it like u r singing the Tina turner's number, or is it a Celine Dion's? hmm wuteva! yes, i went to my rheumy yesteday ( for those who have no idea wat is rheumy, its an an american abbrev for rheumatologist. For those who still have no idea wat is Rheumatologist, i can only tell u, its related to Rheumatoid arthritis ( for those who still dun no wat is RA, haiyaaaa.. takgheti2 nak pi check kat wikipedia? my blog is not a walking dict-blog okay!
Shud I tell u about myself ( as i assumedthere r a few people who r gonna stop by and peek into my blog, its been neglected for tooo long, and with tis dull, unattractive blog-drop, i m sure not many will accidentally come across tis blog. Ok la, remind me to seek for a sifu regarding tis matter.
complained to my favorite rheumy yesterday, dat i ve been having frequent headache lately, and since my BP is so normal, regardless my mild hypertension, i have to blame it on my stressful days at work. No.. dun get me wrong, I so love my work, i love to feel d adrenalin rush whenever i have deadlines to meet. But when u r always in a hurry over yr meal break, and u got 9 missed calls if u leave yr cell phone in yr room when u r out for 1/2 hr.. or u still have to give consultation thru yr phone when u have put a big notice infront yr door that u r on medical leave... or when u r so looking forward to watch a movie with yr 2 best frends during working hrs, wat dat supposed to mean la? or when u started to feel annoyed bcos u read craps in other people's blog when they r able to update for like 2-3 entries in an hour, and their entries r so stupid dat u feel like lashing yer sharp tongue aka condemning them ( remind me not to do dat, last time i did dat, in ekawan, i regretted it so much for being so nosy haha)
ne nong ne nong.. writer's block alert! aka laziness is tagging along. now, will u excuse me, i need to have my beauty sleep now, need to put some eyecream some more..hahaha.. cam hampeh jek aku.. so so metrosexual nowadays kah kah kah
Till next time

Seribu tahun

On the way back to my bro's house, inside his Grandis, my 2 nephews, both age 13 n 15 were discussing abt a few songs that they have dloaded into their shared PSP ( well, being an illiterated auntie, i was so amazed that besides its function as a portable playstation, it can also function as a MP3 player, and we can even access to internet. whoa! so one of the song is Imran Ajmain's seribu tahun. and as usual, me, a 'never bother wats the latest song on air' aunt, i sorta asked em? who is Imran Ajmain? Afif ansered " laa Che Ngah ni, yg nyanyi lagu 1000 tahun la!" whole shaking his head, he must be amazed, me his so backdated auntie, hahaha. so i asked him again?" lagu apa tu?, tak pernah dengar pun!" well, cant blame me, i rarely listen to any song in radio. neither to any songs that they played in whichever place lately. well my q wasnt unansered. they pretended not to hear it mebbe. or they were too engrossed wth the PSP. Kids nowadays. they dun even knowhow to play the traditional games which r less complicated n more fun to play wth eg congkak, selambut, kites etc.
so back to Imran Ajmain, back in my workplace, i tried to google the name, and i found tis song. yeah.. ikinda like it, even tho im not the mellowy type,, yikes. owh well, with this kinda rainy mood, (heavy downpours outside), listening to the song, brings some knda nice feeling, u know, picture this, me curling on a L-shaped sofa, sipping hot chocolate,tucked wth an intersting chic-lit novel, wahhh! bliss!

At last

Finally, i found my long lost blog back. amazing, how internet can trace it back, after all these months. well i did try to look for it last time, typing every single key word tat i think might be relevant to my blog, but, to no avail. and today, maybe it's my good luck after been thru a series of unfortunate event in my sux life previously, and here it is! still with the same title, and none of the prev entries r missing. Hmm come to think of it, maybe its high time, i m concentrating on tis blog once again, rather than ekawan. i guess, some hidden feelings are safe to be poured out in ere. so.. till next time..

a blissful siesta

This is supposed to be my entry for the ekawan blog *still in rage*. as that blog only allowed entries with less than 1000 words, it's gonna be ashort entry. so here it is..... jeng jeng
ok, so i just came back from the world of unsconsciousness aka dreamland. Its not everyday that i or we can take a long siesta.There were times when i was safely ensconsced in my inner chaotic sanctum of mine aka workplace, i dream of putting my head onto the fluffy pillow aka bantai bucuk , rest my feet on anthr pillow, dim the room a bit and straightly doze off . So tis afternoon i ve made an opportunity to take a nap ( a long one i must say, just after having my lunch..hehe).I straightly fell into a deep slumber as my thick skull touched the pillow ( I am at my bro's today), and my siesta went on smoothly tho at times i ve been interrupted by a series ofwar session from the next room. i was fully awoke 3 hrs later due to my lil nephw's pitifull lament from the next room and i m now as fresh as the mountain breeze could be.*dancing on my feet*

the mind ranting

Ok.. so i have been neglecting my blog. Its ok tho as nobody is reading it except for a precious one or two ppl heheh. besides i have developed anthr blog at ekawan so i m taking turn to write in these 2 blogs, not that i m a true blog writer cos i only update it once in an orange moon (depends on my mood)
besides i was stuck in kelantan for a week ( stuck is a strong word tho), did nothing due to my careless foot act ( i had an ankle pain in KB)
Life is not bad tho, after a vague relationship with "u know who" i ve set out my wings , preying for other victims * giggling*. The things is, i dun think i can save my relationship anymore, on the top of it, i have lost the feeling, the warmth towrads him, the euphoria when thinking of him , the impatience to meet him everythime. its all over, in one nite ( ok.. its more than a nite actually). wat i have for him now, is all bland, im not looking fwd to meeting him anymore, i feel annoyed everytime he appears in my tot, irritated when i think abt things he did without informing me, infact im sooo over him now and im not gonna lick my wound, feeling sorry to myself, shut my life in a room bcos of HIM. he's not worth my 2 cents pun, and yes, I dun intend to put a block in our frindhip. he's still a fren for all i knew, he still does his favours whenever i asked him to
there goes my love life, dumped into a thrash bin after ermm 4 months? wow.. tat fast.. tho deep inside i somehow regretted all the lucres and energy wasted in tat r'ship.
im happy now, for the life i lead, for the live i went thru, for the experinece gained, for the time loss, for the good and the bad, yipeee.. i ve become a real human at last!
carpe diem!

one crappy email

a few minutes ago i receives an email from a friend cum exbf cum mentor cum ntahhapa2. he, by all means only replies my email once in an orange moon , yet he made me as im the one who shud be blamed here for not keeping in touch.. so this is my anser to his poorah email...

blah le pakcikkksuka ati moyang tiri jiran dia jek nak balas ke tak balas email ni.. skit2 sampai ati.. as if i were the guilty party.. dia yg tak balas email sebenonya.. bukan kita atau mereka2 yg kat luar bangunan parlimen tu

btw, im going back to KB tomorrow for a week.. bosan duk sini.. kawan tadak.. penat pun penat.. penat perasaan.. huhuhuh

anyway.. sesi showing off ni.. i ve purchased meself a laptop with a built in wireless.. so most weekends i ll be at BU wireless-ing away from particular locations such as dalam toilet, atas tilam, atas sofa, bawah katil.. as i am WIRELESSLY connected.. yeah.. bangganyaa

to add some more 'boastiness", they have given me a free webcam when i purchased that 'baby" ( im calling my notebook as baby nowadays), so lately , whienever im online, i ll make sure that the webcam is on and I lll either capture any static images infront of me ( and that is include tudung saji, mugs, tombol pintu etc), unfortunately i m still webcam-shy heheheh

so.. till then , im off to tanah serendah sekebun bunga early tomorrow morning..

and pakcik...

blahhhhhh la lu.. u never keep any promises of yrs.. maleh dahhh

P.S im back to single status now.. bosan bosan bosan..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "udin aziz"
To: sitisifir@hotmail.com
Subject: Memorandum Toklehtarikbalik
Date: Fri, 27 Jan 2006 07:05:23 +0000
>SAMPPPPAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII HATIIIIIIIIIIIII...senyap terus...
>sedap nya syoru padang raggut sampai lupa kat kita di Gua
>Tempurung...mak tiri pun tak bikin cam nee... so bila nak kunjung
>balik ke Bandarhijau...Rinduuuuu...cam nak com.
>Muaaaaahhhh>



oh watdda heack.. if tis is how u wrote to a professor, dah lama dah aku kena buang daerah.. but then serve him rite.. heheh

the 18th niece

so the saturday has come again.. yesterday, kak ina has delivered a baby gal at 4.59 pm. whom weighed 3.69 kg at Pantai medical centre. Ergo, abg li is now a proud daddy of Puteri Aina. ???? (the 2nd name is not decided yet). being lazy and demoted as usual, tho its not as bad as the manic wednesday, i ve succeededly in updating my prev lecture notes ( i have made it a bit colorful, with pictures and all, anthr smart attempt to assure the students wont be dozing off in my class, heeee)
anyway here i am, at abg li's , wireless-ing all the way from its living hall, maybe i shud try surfing from the toilet next time hahaha.
amal is now beside me trying to peep into what his che ngah been doing, hehhee and in the mean while he's been to n fro from the kitchen ( now he's doing some gargling sound infront me nyeh nyeh)
anyway, far has invited me to her hse tis afternoon, and i ll be having m lunch there. looks like nobody is gonna send me over, guess i ll be taking a cab then. and tomorrow, is aleya's bday.. and oh btw, the u know who picked me up from my hse to bu early tis morning and thru the journey, we didnt talk at all. I dunno, as i ve been so bluntly sent him smses, nasty ones actually, accusing him for being manipulator, etc.. ( i know i know.. i shudnt have said tat) but i was furiously mad at him for neither replying my smses nor ansering any of my calls) yes.. i told u i m very temperamental.. so.. being so frustrated yesterday, i went up and talked to Mrs H for a while in her room and the accompanied her to lunch ( i had my lunch earlier), so when i came back, there were 2 missed calls, one from him and anthr one one was an unfamiliar no.. he called me again afterwards , informing that he's picking me up tomorrow..
well i ve told my single mommy housematey that iwont be talking to him.. its gonna be a silence journey.. and indeed it is..
and last nite i was back to my old habit, chatting til the wee hr, infact i called China for 1 1/2 mins.. bad bad me.. i shudnt vent out my anger by having rebound relationship.. ooooo im so so badd..
wat shud i do la.. shud i continue tis relationship.. or shud i give him antnhr chance till march? ( after all tat's wat i ve told him when he started courting me)..deep inside i still have this affection towards him.. but ... arghhhhh....
i ll say no more...

the imbalance hormones

I dunno why but this is the most dullest day in my life ( maybe i shud blame it to my imbalance hormone or 'tis time of the month". I dun feel like working and i actually have set it in my mind ( since last nite) that I m not sitting for hours in that crowdy office ( who am i kidding) and i need some spaces and go out exploring (literally saying that I feel like ponteng kije today heheh)

so when its not working as my mind planned, i ve gone a bit haywired. I have become a capricious person.. yes! tats' me . im changing from a very nice, timid, kontrol ayu person to a very nasty, irritating, 'cari gaduh' and jaki jipang lady.. whoaaaa...

so these are the things that i ve been doing for the past few hours.. ( yes I m baddd )

It all happened after i tried to write an article tat need to be submitted to any scientific journal out there ( im stll struggling to write for just a few lines till I discovered that Im too lazy to dig into any previous reports of mine, so i left it hanged, like i was having a writer block or something..)

when im bored i ll play with my hp, trying to figure out any potential victims tat will take pity on my boredom..

the 1st sms to a potential victim sounded like tis " im so booringggg today. No friend to talk to, no activity, unable to go anywhere too.. tis boredom is killing me.. helppp"

so when this potential victim (PV)ansered, he was actually trying to console me, "go and rest at home then"

Yes, he's into it now.. the 2nd sms -" nope, i ll feel guilty afterwards, no good no good, why dun u pick me up and we ll have lunch somewhere, *batting my eyelashes*

PV: im afraid it is impossible, traffic jam kat KL at the mo.. perhaps some other time

Me: ok.. nvm

abt 12 minutes later - my 2nd attempt. ( dun blame me.. u cant expect my hormone will return to normal after 30 minutes)

me to PV: Iam so boring I feel like crying. I miss my days when i was in bandar I before ( fishing for sympathy)

PV: sabarlah..

me to PV: Dah le i dun need any consolation. let me wallow in self pity. Bosan.. boring.. bosannyaaaa

PV: So wat can i do to ease yr boredom? tell me? ( ok i ve to admit, PV is dementedly worried now, he might think that i m gonna jump from the 13th floor due to my boredom)

Now, i was exaggerating..

Me: just ignore my rambling. Im bored with my life too. Nak balik pun kena jalan kaki. Bosan!There's no progress in my life. There's nothing dat i can be proud of. I am so depressedddd ( ok.. so there's a pinch of fact in it)

PV: lets get married then.

Me: Nak kawin ngan apa? except for your car, u have nothing to offer me. Im bored with tis relationship. I shud have told u long time ago.. bosan bosann

yes, i am a bit**. I know, i shudnt have said tat.. but ... ( its unexplained)

PV: enuff said. Even if u dun need me anymore, u dun have to insult me. If i cant make u happy, sorry.. but please, dun say hurtful things. be considerate. Go find life that u wanna be in..

Ok.. I should have stopped here, but i did not. I went on and on letting out everything that have been mounting up in my mind for these past few weeks.

I ve succeeded in hurting him, mentally.

but i m so relieved now.. these things have been bugging off my mind for days.. I wanna tell him tho I knew , we will end up hurting ourselves.. *sighing*

and Im still blaming it on the imbalance hormones...

wat should I do now? Take back my words?

I am a BAD woman.. (can actually picturing Michael Jackson singing his voice out, "U r bad u r bad" while pointing his index finger to my face)

yes, I m more than tat.. Im WORST!

Its my Life..

First and foremost...
I m feeling sleepy again.. its 3 pm and i m thinking of the other ppl's blogs which i envy bcos, i found out that lotsa bloggers have been leading hectics and glamorous lives and me here, i dun have much to tell..
Come to think of it.. I shud have been grateful.. no need to get jealous with other ppl ( tho deep in my heart, i am.. indeed)YET...
i am grateful.. for waking up each morning , thnk GOD for still giving me a chance to breathe the fresh air..( i cant complain for the painful/ swollen ankles tho as I ve been 'in' it forever)
i am much indebted for HIM, since being the unhealthy and weak person i am, i can still obtained my highest achievement, regardless my sorrow, tears, agony etc via living with RA for the past 25 years.
A blessing in disguise....
the memory of me in a wheel chair , wallowed in my self-cocoon, depression surrounded, they r still fresh in my mind. Its been 15 years tho, when i have to set foot again at the univ, being the first year again for the 2nd time, being alone for the 2 1/2 years.. it was not easy tho.. All of your friends are in their final year while u were still struggling in yr 1st year to catchup all the times wasted for almost 3 years...
The years followed when i did my master wasnt bad tho. I managed to do it within 1 1/2 years and did a 3months attachment in Seoul..
then the hardest years started again.. i went thru some natural catastrophes during my doctorate years.. the health been going ups n down during this time. but in the end i have made it..
and for all of these precious experiences and priceless efforts, I thank HIM..
.. and i ve finaly realised, i dun need to be jealous of other ppl's lives.. infact, mine is luckier than those victims in the neighboorhood country, this is my life as Jon Bon Jovi said,.. and yes.. this is my life...
to quote a Robert Frost's..
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference….

Rain Rain Go awayyy..

I always wait till the end of the wrking day to scribbled up something in tis blogga mine. I dunno, perhaps i love the adrenalin rush feeling, doing something in the last minutes. the actual thing is, i nvr did tat. except for the things that i may have taken for granted right from the start. so i am benefiting thse few minutes before the school bell rings to write something short and memorable.. hope Phil will be reading this...
Bak aka dad came to KL last weekend and we did send him safely via airasia ( i managed to confirm the ticket a few hrs before the departure, and tis reminds me of the POOR service of the guestsupprt service of AIRasia! a few days ago, after having problem with the transaction when i booked the tickets online, i tried emailing Airasia concerning the matter. and idid get a quick reply telling me that their staff will attend my problem asap. so i waited for a few days to no avail. I emailed again, and tis time with capital letters, but still i got no reply. Then i called its call centre, someone did anser my call and before i cud inform the details any further, i ve been left with the irritating ad voice in the phone for ages. as i was using a prepaid, i cant endure the wait any longer so i just hung up. The next day, i tried calling again and tis time nobody ansered. been calling for many times, and all i got was the autoanser and the ad voice over and over again. due to that i asked my bro to drop by at the Klsentral and asked the airasia sales counter there. Thank GOD, the ticket has finally been confirmed. I really hate doing thing last minutes, especially when bak too is involved in it.
so we went to KLIA and i had my CNY tickets confirmed as well at the airasia sales booth over there.
i brought along my male laptop to abg li's and while we were fighting over whose turn to be online, as afif wanted to check his emails and amir kept on listening to the group that sing 'numb" ( cant recall the band's name at the mo), i remembered my notebook can actually do the wireless thingy.. yeahhh... so it has detected two wireless connection ie are abg li's and anthr one , i think iits from the OU's. so i was happily browsing thru it, till abg li came back and configured my laptop to its wireless band.. ( not really literate abt this thingy..)
the next day, i had an early start to serdang, abg managed to find a room around tat area, which is close to my hse now, and he can only move in when the month ends,
anyway, currently he's been sending me to my workplace every morning and i still have to walk back home tho.. ( the good thing from my daily walk is, i d be able to put off a few kg , hopefully.. )
its raining now, and i m desperately wanting to go home before its getting too dark.. hmm which reminds me of.. my plan to start taking driving lesson.. been proscrastinating the idea for like 6 months alreday..
P.S heavy downpours out there still.. how am i going back? helppp!!!!!
“For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.” -Benvolio, Romeo and Juliet

The Male Laptop

when was the last time that i blogged? Hmm.. must be a week ago when i ve been very bored with all the undoneworks . ( gosh.. wat am i thinking, it only a 6 hrs-lectures and i ve been like, flipping thru every pharmacology books in the world)
Its not a good feeling tho, thinking of how am i gonna give a lecture infront of 70 smart students( not that i ve never give lectures before, but last time, i categorized my students as "not so smart" students, ya ampuun..so all the lectures have been delivered by not "100% well prepared me". i ve been thinking, maybe I shud attend some courses, regarding tis matter. and I will always have tis nervous and butterflies in my stomach feeling everytime i am giving lectures..
enuff abt that... so wat did i do for these past few days?
oh ok.. i m now a proud owner of a "twinhead notebook" (beaming), and i ve been exaggerating to my nephews that "note book che ngah can do everything, its a wireless and i d be able to surf internet while sipping a cup of latte at starbuck.. hihih".. well its not news anymore as everyone has been doing that for the last couple of years, its the 'in thing' nowadays..
anyway, i dun find it impressive tho, when u saw someone with his/her notebook at any wireless zone,,they might have been chatting at that time for all we knew.. hahaha.. and to think that they looked so sophisticated, sipping while doing business.. duhh.. ( i promised myself i m not gonna appear in public with situation like tat)
when i told David that i ve actually bought a brand new laptop, the conversation went like this .. ( ohh.. btw David is actually a friend of mine who's building lotsa digi tower all around msia so that digi will get more ...coverages.. hurray to DIGI..)
D: wat brand is yr notebook?
Me: a Twinhead
D: so U bought a male laptop? hahahaha
Me: ?
D: well, its a TWINHEAD for heaven sake
Me: yes.. so?
D: so its ubiquitously a man's possession.U know the one that is already there when a male is born..
Me:Ok.. so everybody got a head when he/she is born.. its not only for a male..
D: well.. a man is born with 2 heads,, which is a twin la..hahahahah
Me: (still confused.). and i still dun get it.. cud u at least xplain it in a simple english.. or am i the dumb one in ere?
D: well.. a male has a nthr head u know.. in malay word they called it kepala.. *****( sensored)
Me: ohh... oh well.. ( embarassed) trying to stiffle some giggling sounds..

so tat was it.. i am a proud owner of a "male" laptop.. and i shud be proud of it.. yayyyyyyy!

the 6th day of 2006...

Greetings.. and 1st of all. happy new year 2006 to each of us..
may this year brings u many many prosperous years ahead, tremendous life ever..
any way.. i m at work, trying very hard to open my eyelids..and behind me, i can hear the kakak cleaners vaccuming the places all over..
sat.. nak beri laluan kat achi cleaners doing theirworks ..
oh well.. i have to admit, i m too lazy to update my blog nowadays.. there r things happened to me, tho, interesting-not-so mundane thingy i must say.. but then..
as i said.. I cant be bothered anymore..
other than going back and forth from work.. i ve other things to do, weekends will be spent lepaking at my bro;s in BU. ( i m not going back tis wekeend tho, as i ve promised myself i can only lepak there on raya haji.. dpends on whether kak Ina lum meletup lagi or not..
this nasik tomato which i had just now.. has made me so sleepy.. i went outside for awhile just now while waiting for the cleaners to finish vaccuuming.. and i saw astrikingly psycehdelic green colored bas passed by infront the fac.. ( must be the univ bus), reminds me of my old days in UKM, when i did my masters there. During the 1st year, i decided to stay in the campus due to my health problem. when i was on my 2nd year, i rented a flat at sec1 BBB with kak aishah ( wonder where is she now), Transport in BBB in the 90s was quite rare, therefore we had to depend on univ bus. being me, to climb its 'tangga' was like climbing the everest. everytime i waited for the bus, i wud pray that the bus will have a lower tangga instead. There were a few undergrad students who were snobbishly insinuated me. jahat itu org.. bukannya nak tolong, ngata lagi ada le... anyway life in UKM in the 90s was indeedly an unforgetabble experience of the life time
have i mentioned that i wanna buy a laptop? my bro and i have gone thru some catalogs and hesuggested that i buy either dell or acer. I need a lighter notebook which is less than 2kg but then the lighter it is, the more expensive it ll be. maybe i cud decide if i just go straight to lowyat and willingly surrender under the influences of the sales reps recommendation.. the thing is,, i am a pc illiterated.. need some advice here tho..
im still yawning.. and i m experiencing anthr writer;s block now..hmm maybe i shud stop and catch my 40winks surrounded by these ppl.. who cares...