Friday, April 19, 2019


Seriously.... its been a year already since my last post??? ( surprised face inserted)
 Well.. a lot of things happened thou.. . jeng jeng

1. I went for a haj pilgrimage on 14/8 last year.. with my bff, as my companion.. and surprisingly I did survive.. walaupun masa kat Mina I think I was the most suffered person on earth hahaha..
nevertheless, with all those hardships, Allah swt still ease me as I managed to go "melontar' by myself. It was such a memorable experience, and I m beginning to miss masjidil haram and masjid nabawi more and more after that.. a new haj year is approaching, and its still a wonder I managed to survive and perform my haj with this condition of mine..

2. My niece got married in November.

3. My brother in law passed away in January 2019. and until this moment. I still weep in silence whenever his name is mentioned. he was such a kind BIL, and his death really utmostly shocked us.

4. Another niece was married last month, in March

5. Not in chronological order, I managed to get a new maid which is now still working with me rite after I came back from haj. After 2 "kabur" maids before that, the current maid is.. hmmm.. ok la beggars cant be choosers anyway.

6. I had a very high fever during raya last year. that left me "blurred" during the first and 3rd day of raya. dunno why..

Workwise... am good. had to use my veto for the postgrad yang tak gheti nak take the many chances  that I ve given. I  think I m being too lenient all these while. until I cannot take it anymore.. so bermula la a series of meroyan episodes which I feel like cursing and slapping that particular student... only I didnt do it in real lives. Alhamdulillah.. the emotion is still controllable

Frankly speaking, its been getting more and more stressful with the current working scenarios. The top people are planning to merge our department and there will be a new restructuring starting June. as a marhaen staff, we ll just follow suit, disappointment is there anyways.

well.. I guess that's all. for now

Friday, April 27, 2018

End of April...

Luckily I still remember my pw. it is so confusing sometimes as my both working and non-working emails were registered with google. so in order to activate this one I have to quit another one.. ( occay, not important thou)

Anyway, remember when I previously stated that I am undergoing a major surgery in january? owh well it was postponed to February due to a higher crp level. I then saw my Rheumy and she suggested to take another biologic which can be taken orally. I took a 3 wek trial and my crp went down drastically. So the surgery was set up to february.

 A week prior to my surgery date, I fell again... ( like againnn??? whyy whyy) .. 
I hurt my arm.. thot it was dislocated.. they sent me straight away to emergency after taking an xray. Funny thing happened, the doctors were all set up to straighten my arm.. and suddenly another ortho MO asked them " are u sure it is dislocated".. so they were all "menggelupur" and sent me for another x ray for both elbow joints to compare.. and it was ... jeng jeng jeng... NOT DISLOCATED..

so they sent me back home at 10pm, wishing me well for my elbow recovery.. haha

I came back after a week.. and my crp was found high again.. another HO clotted my blood sample so it came back to be diagnosed as low platelet count... so again.. the drs were all menggelupur again.. and asking me ridiculous question whether I had dengue or anaemia recently. I texted my rheumy and she suspected a technical error on the blood result. she asked for another test and it came normal the next day..
but.... the ortho HO still came 'menggelupur" and asked whether the hematologist did come to see me or not or which part of the joint is in pain.. I got tired of answering so I just went with their flow  to avoid the" menggelupurness" haha

Since they postpone it for the 2nd time I asked them to just set another date at the end of the year.. Ye know... not all things that we planned will be fulfilled... its up to 'Yang Di Atas" to make it actually happened..

So I was discharged  and have to reshuffle all my "full"working schedule. 
so my february. march and april went on smoothly except for a few hiccups... 

to be continued---

Wednesday, December 27, 2017


ai malas nau nak update post. muncul sesekali bulan mengambang jek kahkahakah.
so last post bulan puasa ni lagi 2-3 hari nak masuk 2018 dah.
peristiwa sepanjang 2017 ni benar2 menguji kesabaran. ujian ALLAH yang maha Esa kepada hambanya... kita terima  je la dengan redho..
Kalau nak list kan satu persatu.. sampai tahun depan pun beljum tentu abis.. jadi ...
biar lah akak simpan dalam memori 16GB ini aje kekdahnyaa..kahkahkah

Ada pun...
I ll be undergoing another hip replacement surgery in middle January. Ini adalah bersangkutan dengan Tragedi Oktober di Jakarta baru baru ni...
Nak cakap banyak pun tak guna.. pasal time tu akak tak boleh jalan sebulan setelah tersungkur macam nangka busuk betul2 depan restoran padang kat Jakarta. Adalah dekat sebulan juga akak terpaksa tido terbaring jek.

Anyhoo due to that incidence I was able to pujuk the ortho surgeons to undergo the incoming surgery. Ko mampoo patient yg pujuk dokter suruh buat operation.. bukan ke doktor ke yg selalu pujuk patients buat op? kahkahakh.. jarang anak melayu nih.. syabass betty syabbas.. hahahaha

Sebab itoo lah there is a blessing indisguise in every fall... ecehhh. kalau tidak disebabkan jatuh tersungkur hari tu... takder nya tuan dokter nak layann patient cam akak ni..
akak pun taktau la... dokter selalu cakap akak ni sakit jatuh tersungkur pun manjang happy... lalu akak menjawab/.. "dokter as a patient we need to stay positive all the time.. kan dr tengok saya depressed kan takpasal2 saya kena refer kat psychiatrist plak.. " lalu tuan dokter pun membalas "kong hajaq ko!" kahkahkah

susah jugak dapat consultant junior akak  njh.. dia cakap sepatah akak menjawab 10 patah... stress pakcik tu..

Oke lahh.. akak nak mengundur diri dulu.. ramai org dah cuti dari minggu lepas.. yang akak rajin datang opis ni pun tah apa motif. akak nak balik kg la plak esok barang sehari dua plak..

Semoga bertemu lagi di tahun depan.. time akak rajin nak mengupdate..
semoga 2018 akan memberi kebahagiaan, keinsafan dan harapan buat akak..
excuse kan bahasa2 wicet akak. yang terselit sebiik dua kat post ni..
biasa lah.. akak ni kan cepat terpengaruh.. hahaha

Bye 2017..
Be good to me 2018 kahkah (matik lah kena carut ngan pacik Shahe)

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Ramadhan kareem

5th day of Ramadhan....
Dont expect me to show off the dishes that I cooked for Ramadhan..
Nan ado ye tuan puan..
"bukan kah puasa itu sinonim dengan memperbanyakkan amalan bukannya memperbanyakkan juadah?" sarcasm di situ hahaha

lagipun puasa tu makan ala kadar jer... kalau boleh rasanya nak makan kurma jek seketul pastu minum air....
memang nak buat macam tu.. tapi hasilnya acik hypo kul 1.30 pagi terus suruh bibik buat air sirap dan pergi makan coklat hahaha..

eksen sangat ko ni makcik kann

Tapi acik memang kurang selera skit bulan puasa ni... penat la bibik kena masak sendiri sebab acik asik buka posa makan pizza je.. westernnn sangat tu

Oranglain asyik tunjuk juadah berbuka ngan anak2.. acik cuma ada anak tekak.. elok sangat la tuuu

bulan puasa tu niatnya nak jadi sebaikbaik manusia...
kalau kita tak buat orang orang yang buat kat kitakan..
elok2 acik tgh bergurau senda dgn colleague kat WA, ada pulak orang yang salah paham dengan statement pastu marah2 tak tentu pasal..
sedih pulak rasa hati.. takpe itu ujian di bulan Ramadhan
maka acik pun minta maaf dengan sekelian umat..
balik rumah stress terus demam malam tu hahahaha

manja sangat ko ni acikk..


Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Doom's (ke?) day

I am gonna have my teeth ( as in a row of teeth) extracted tomorrow. Sila pegi menangis balik pintu hahahaha.
I have to prepare my mind for a  week liquid diet starting tomorrow hu hu hu
Tak tahu lah.. kan dah 20 tahun acik tak pernah cabut gigi dengan dentist... asyik cabut sendiri je
I have to mark tomorrow's date as one of the unforgettable day in my life...

Ok... propa overloaded..

Friday, March 03, 2017

Entri separuh hati (ku di bawa pergi)

last post was written in April 2016. fast forward its Feb 2017 already. Pheww

Lotsa things happened thou.. I m listing it down in chronological order..

May 2016 - A trip to Bulgaria with sista, more like a conference trip thou, but as usual I managed to go sight seeing albeit my swollen ankle

August 2016 - I finally underwent a surgery to replace the prosthesis due to another infection on the knee. they replaced it with a temporary implant, a molded one made of cement, a very light one thou.. I asked the surgeon, how long should I wear this, btw it was implanted inside the knee, and the surgeon said, until we confirm that you r free from infection and it may take up until 6 months.. and he told me again that you wont be walking without any crutches or knee brace, and at that time I have been thinking about all the lectures that i ll be  missed and MCs etc..
anyway, how long they ll be giving mcs then?

so the first few weeks were tough enough.. wearing knee braces will actually limit your mobility. post op is another torturous moment. You can feel those "thing"rolling inside your knee, trying to adapt itself, and it hurt like........ that i have to move to various knee positions while wailing myself for hours. It did not help thou as the on call MOs did not give me any morphine,  Instead they injected me with pethidine which did not even work on me. so after a painful nite, the surgeon came to check on my condition. he has already prescribed morphine for the post op, but the oncall MO dare to joke with me, asking me on the pain scale.. I told its beyond 10, but he said, i did not look like i was suffering, still can pray and talk... I ignored him then.

anyway... right after i was discharged i had to present a proposal at MOHE, so there i was struggling on a wheel chair while presenting the 'so called" proposal (seeking for sympathy as well lol hence the wheel chair.. too bad nobody noticed *sob sob")

(continue from previous draft yang dah berbulan ni)
fast forward a few months later.. after a few episodes of flare ups,,, uncountable counts to Ortho and RA follow ups.. here I am (switching to "too lazy to type mode" haha)
By the way I did not get the research grant from the shortlisted proposal presentation last August..
still looking for a new one.. (nangis balik pintu)..

eh dah le.. malas pulak nak type banyak2..

Sekian laporan yang tak semengah dari saya..

Till then ..

Friday, April 29, 2016

No title,

Ohh.. sudah lama tidak mengepost.. hahaha
(It's been a long time )

Anyway.. my health is deteriorating at present.. I am not sure whether it is arrythmia.. but I have read regarding all of  it's symptoms and most of them have all occured in me... (nervous). I have been experiencing severe tachycardia for the past few nights, and  back pain as well as jaw pain. It really scared me off  thou..
last week i have undergone another incision and drainage (I&D) procedure, again. I think I have not posted about my previous surgery in December last year, in which the arthro surgeons have already decided in removing my knee implant, due to its aseptic loosening. I have been having infection on the medial knee for a few times, and the last one was in June last year. When the abscess recurred back in December, the doctors have warned me in prior thou, that if it recurs, whether I like it or not, they will have to remove the implant. So when it did recur in December, I  was more than  ready, mentally and physically. and for the next 6 months, i have imagined myself with wheelchair and crutches and knee braces, before they are able to replace  the new implant.
Surprisingly, they did not remove it as according to them, the implant is not loose and still intact. In addition, they found out that the infection was not connected to the implant, thus they closed it .
Well what could I say, I was MORE THAN happy since I am still able to walk like normal. However,
langit tak selalu cerah (sobs), after 2 weeks, another infection was shown on my lateral knee. and with that, they decided to open the knee again.. well, I said - "No! I have given you chance to remove my implant last time.but you did not do it and now, you want to open it again??? NO way JOSE!!!"
well, I did not really say that to them. ( cam berani sangat nak cakap cam tu kat dokter kan) It was in my mind already, but what was just blurted out "Just give me more time, maybe not now, maybe at the end of this year", and I added ( this one for real), "I have already planned so many things  throughout this year", well yeah, the plans that I have decided to postpone when they decided to open up for the first time, and now there's no turning back, comraded.. ( hahah drama sangat kan aku ni)..
So with that final say, they started giving me antibiotic, to suppress the infection. I have been on antibiotic since December until one fine day in march, I went  to another appointment with my Rheumy. Owh.. have i mentioned about  I had my knee aspirated twice within that time, it hurts like hell la weyy, (sakitnya tu disini) and they managed to get the fluid from that infected site.
So when I went for the Rheumy followup, they asked me to stop the antibiotic and started with the antifungal instead, as the results from the fluid preciously taken stating that it's contaminated with Penicillium.
So I started taking Sporanox at the end of March, and last 2 weeks, the infected knee started oozing with some clear fluid, not pus thou. and the next monday, I was admitted again. I asked them again not to remove my implant and was joking with the consultant that I have to go to this one place next month. so he said " Where? 6 feets below?" (Kong hajaq tul kan.. ) hahahaha
anyway to cut the story short, I underwent a surgery on Tuesday afternoon, and the anaesthetist there informed me regarding my abnormal ECG.
But dun worry, I m due for another appt next week, I ll inform them regarding my condition. It might also be from the antifungal drug. I read  that they might give adverse effect of shortness of breath etc, so I m realy hoping that these are just temporary symptoms from the drugs, Aamin...
 owh to get back to work..