Saturday, December 31, 2005

countdown to 2006

yes,, its been a long week tho.. and i ve opened tis site of mine so many times but at the end i was having writer's block .. so i just closed the site without scribbling anything in tis blog..
well.. in not more than 12 hours we ll be stepping to anthr year, 2006. infact i havent planned of any new year resolution yet.. but i have a few ideas in tis mind already.. ( dun wanna put it in ere) let them stick in this brain of mind till then end of 2006, and then, i ll let u know whether i ve achieved all those or not..
I had a bad day last week.. after berpoya-poya with abg, we went to morib and had my dinner there. and the next day, i got sick. kena ketulahan ponteng kerja kot.. or maybe i ve been slapped by one of those puteri bunian in pantai morib..
so we went to the clinic and the doc suspcted that i got gastric, due to all the synptoms, feeling nausea and all..
arghh i have to stop writing and continue later.. lotsa interruptions at the mo... the niece and nephews.. who else... erghh

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Tis pathetic feeling....

so its weekend already. and as usual im back at BU. Its not that like i planned for but, the Single mommies (SM) housemateys have left for bangkok early tis morning. As I ll be alone in the house, I ve decided to follow abg to BU as he's coming to serdang too tis morning. so we left quite early, missed a turn ( like alwasy infront the kommuter station ), and we only arrived at BU almost an hour later. Tot of using the short-cuts la konon.. abg tho has to go to work at 9ish and only finished work 12 hrs later..:(
and its gonnna be a long 3 days( if i were left alone , without any agenda) . hmmm... isnt it weird.. a 30ish woman like me, doesnt even have any plan during weeeknds? eeewwwww.. sound so pathetic rite?
well thats me.. the pathetic ida.. who doesnt have any life other than her works..
hmm.. I need a new handbag for work tho.. but.. Im too lazy to shop alone.. not that i ll be needing 2nd opinion but there r times that i dun feel like being too independent..and most of my friends.. are all married.. have kids etc..
and again im feeling sorry to myself... sob sob..

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

.. and the mood is ruined again today

I woke up with the worst pain at my left abdomen, and i was thinking whether the 'kidney stone attack" has struck back. 2 years ago , a week before i underwent for my TKR surgery, i had an undescribable bout of kidney attack, it was so painful and at tat time i tot that i ve cysts in my ovary ( based on wat kakfarah told me la). so tis morning i was a bit confused, whether the pain was basically from my kidney or my fallopian i m having my menses now..
so i slept back till 7ish, thinking of getting MC, but then, it doesnt make sense.. i have just started working 2 weeks ago, i cudnt take a medical leave just bcos i m having my menstrual pain..duhhh
anyway the pain fade off as i kiasu-edly took a ponstan..and as i ve been ensconcedly reading the chapters. he sms-ed saying dat he cudnt get the car today,,,
so the war begins again.. ( i really dun feel like writing wat we ve quarelled about) but the only thing that i cud recall in his sms, is, he dare to mention"kepala bapak" to me..
huwarhhhh... i m finished with him.. really... and tis time is for real.. i just cudnt take it anymore... ( well i know i m wrong ) but... my ego took over..
I D RATHER BE ALONE FOREVER.. hati pun tak sakit cam ni.. cesssssssssssss

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The frozen sanctum

Guess wat! I ve succeeded in changing my blog template ( and i tot all these while they created it by themselves) yeyyy! and u can just dloaded it from any free blog tenplate sites.. ( budusnya aku selama ni)
Nothing much tho.. I ve finally made a pact with U -know-who. Come to think of it.. it's all started with a tiny incident, i caught him not going to friday prayer.. and it made me madddd like hell.. ( not that im pious or watsoever, but not to go to the mosque just bcos u didnt realize wat the time is.. is so so totally of out laymen's question. and I ma so so pissed off with that kinda men
so it was a 3 days silence for me, I wud have prolonged the period if he didnt start sms-ing me and made me roaring like a fierce lioness again.. grrrrr..
maybe im too choosy as he said.. and a bad tempered person like me.. nobody cud stand except him..
yesh.. he is defintely rite.. but how am i supposed to do? i was born to become a temperamental woman , but never i throw tantrums infront the respected crowds..
actually tis is more like.. keeping mounds of tempers inside ... any day.. it will explode.. and i feel sorry for the ones who's beside me when the catastrophe happened.. huhh
hurayyy.. my salary is banked in today... i ve only worked less than 2 weeks in here ( minus the hours that i went back early) and i have been paid already? kudos to the U*M
btw, im having dysmenorrhea today.. a mild one, but with me freezing here, i dun think i d be able to stand it any longer..
im still catching up with the antiepilepsy notes.. remind me of the early months i was in ipoh.. as I havent had enough time to do my notes, I ll just cut n paste it into my powerpoint presentation and tried to digest em along the students.. Its not me tho.. or else i wont waste a whole solid year just to write up my thesis.. aahh citer lama.. taknak kenang lagi dah ehhh
too lazy to climb up to the office. being here, i finally realised that there is no single facility within this level.. i need to go to 3rd level for its toilet, 2 blocks away for the meal, etc ( am not complaining) i dun want em to find this blog of mine and identifying its owner.. mati gue...

Monday, December 19, 2005

The mind rambling war..

Guess wat! tis is my 3rd week in UPM and i still feel a so so left out.. Dunno y.. cos last time when i was in ipoh, i only took a week to become 'normal' again. even just now, i heard someone mentioned my name and when i showed myself.. nobody seemed to notice.. uwaaa.. am i becoming invisible again?
I really hate tis feeling.. oh yes, i admit i am timid, very quiet person especially when i havent known anyone yet.. and I need ppl to start the balls rolling on first!
I cant make the first move.. and y? cos it so happened to be like tat ever since iwas in my mom's womb.. I cant just say hi to ppl that i only knew and started rambling like they r all my old friends..
I just cant!!
Tis is me.. and i feel so alone today..
and now that im working.. i m feeling so terrible..
It wasnt tis awful when i did my Phd in UM a few years back..
as I still have those lab animals that i can talk with..
even my jaw feels so tight cos i havent uttered any single word yet since i sit here at 8.20 am tis morning..
GOD.. i need to break the silence.. icebreaking moment..
Im going crazy here...
help... and i mindesperate need of all those virtual chats so tat i can be myself for a while

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
maybe i shud make the first move.. ppl say to break the ice u shud bring some cookies and offer em to all of the members in the room u occupied..
Ok.. so watshud i bring then?
i want my ipoh colleagues back laaaa.. they r somehow r fun to be with..
ooo.. just bcos i m not an exstudent here.. never studied here..
and only came here to be a staff...they r all ignoring me..
are they.. or maybe im the one who looks like i dun want to befriend themm
and y at tis fossil age of mine, i m still having tis crappy issue that became a no 1 prob in my life...
how long will i take to adapt myself in here? 2 months? 2 weeks ( passsed already) or 2 yearss!
maybe i shud chew lotsa chewing gum so that i ll be a freindly lady to get along with..
but nobody has been complaining before.. and i have no prob with my 2 single mommies hsemates..
so why do i feel like.. i m the anne the orphan here..
atleast she has a rich foster dad..
ohh... im trying to digest the while text infront of me now.. but to no avail..
i ve been reading abt antidepressant.. and im now a lil depressed myself..
maybe i shud take one or two pills that looks slurpy enough in tis txtbook

yes.. i m getting i knew.. y those plane crashed survisors on the isolated island get crazy after sometime..
and yes.. i might be talking abt the LOST, the tv series..
see i told ya.. i ve been jumping from one subject to anthr... and yes.. i might need the Faculty Dean to examine me..
and all i need now is a change of place.. maybe i shud beg dr Pat to give me the room which Hasiah will unoccupy real soon...
yes.. at least i can continue my habit of talking to the wall..
it will let my stress out a bit..
oooo... these ppl.. whay shud i do to make them welcome and talk to me like they talk to other colleagues?
uwaaa.... im idea-less now...
and i ll be having my lunch alone as well.. huh...
maybe i shud invite a few aliens from anthr planet to join in..
yes... the ones with green and red tentacles.. or the ones who can imitate trees when they r not moving..
maybe i shud have my lunch in their planet myself... so tat i can learn their warmth traditionally welcome to newcomers like me..
YES! the newcomer...
arent they suppose to organise a lunch for me so tat i cud feel welcomed?
arent theyy?
well.. if ever happened that there will be more new staffs coming laters. i ll give em a great welcome..
will treat em for nice lunches and will tell em how misreable i am during the first few weeks i was here..
yes.. maybe university shud introduce some subjects abt it too..
and i ll be the one who ll enrol the class..
yes.. i need to change my so cold manner to some warmth hearty huggable greets..
maybe i shud be a McDonald nya icon.. huwahuhwahuwaa

Friday, December 16, 2005

The weeekend's wedding

Actually, i was planning not to go home ( home is BU) tis weeekend. As i cud picture me lepaking again in the midst of chaotic house, with amal yelling , "umi... angah bukak ps2" and amir with his non stop "cikngah,, nak dengar ringtone'' urghh...
and maybe Kak Ina is bored with my presence every weekend, who knows..
but then i ve promised the old classmates tat i will attend liza wok's weeding reception tomorrow.
The only wedding that i m attending for the past 10 years.. hahaha
so the changed of plan.. i ll 'ponteng' kije tis afternoon ( by walking out early today la).. macam tak biasa.. as i need to catch various malaysian public transports to BU tis afternoon. Dr M will be proud of me as I ll be using the commuter, the lrt and the cab before reaching BU. ( bus will be out due to its disabled unfriendly stairs)
talking abt commuter, i had an awful incident last weekend during my commuter trip to KL sentral. ( remind me not to take a commuter at peaks hrs on weeeknds). I had to stand all the way to sentral, with all the congested passengers. and someone did manage to place his hand on my butt.. erghhhh.. and it so happened that the owner of the hand was a man whom i mistook for a boy.. he was so short and i feel like bashing his head afterwards..
grr..due to tat, i m planning to catch an earlier commuter today.. nobody;s picking me up.. how sad..
hopefully tis hip of mine wont give me so much trouble today.. i dun want to wake up flinching all day in liza's wedding tomorrow..
come to think.. am i really going to liza's tomorrow? tis is not so me.. the unsocialable me who always refuse to attend in any old school reunion..
and liza said, tomorrow is supposed to be anth reunion for the 85 batch as well..

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Batik Day

It is not an awsome experience tho, being in tis inner sanctum of mine, surrounded by annonymous faces, while the air conditioned blowing straight at my face, i fee l so alone ..
there 's no more chatty me as I dun know anyone from here,( its hard tho making friends here, must be bcos they r in 'another' generation or i ve potrayed myself as a very timid and quiet person ( thus, no one dare to talk to me )
and its been a few days that i ve walked back all the way from the fac to home.. its no more a long trip, and i take abt 10-15 mins to reach home ( good for my health i guess).. I have a vision that within next few months I ll be come the next elle mc pherson yippeeeee...
anyway.. today's a 15th of the month, and its a batik wearing day.. thank God i manage to rummage my inorganised closet and found a few old batik attires ( tat i used to wear during my old school days).. so to day i am a "lady in hijau pucuk pisang" hehehe

Sunday, December 11, 2005

commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

After a week..

so, here i am after a week working at a new place called UPM. Since they havent given me any work yet ( my life is revolved around registrar office, blok A of the fac and it always end up with me having my lunch and later walking back straight back home.. quite a tiring trip tho.) so I guess, i ll be really 'working' next week when i d already gotten a pc, since they have provided me the syylabus of wat Im gonna teach next sem ( and tat will be like, 2 weeks away.. gulp..)im in dire need of the precious pc,, how to create lecture notes maa.. if i dun get any..
housemates are all ok.. and since they are all single mom ( just found out that Za has married before, got a 2yrs old daughter who is living with her mom ) i ve been hearing all the tragic stories of their previous marriage and the evilness of their ex hubbies.
so, i am now having pre traumatic syndrome of geting married. Looks like the men in this world are all evil, referring to Za's ex hubby , a bit devilish to refer to Na's ex womanizing hubby.. erkkk
so.. the weekend has been filled with me, loitering at abg li's hse as usual.. and monday is a public holiday for selangor state ( told u, i ll be having lotsa public holidays when i m working in selangor)
atrip to Pj yesterday was a bit exhausting and feet-killing when i have to stand all way in the commuter and then again when the trip continued by lrt from KL sentral to Kelana Jaya.. so i m now having a post-pain with all my muscles feel like been hit by some sumo wrestlers.. luckily tomoorow is a public holiday..
went to OU with kak ina, had lunch at cafe1920 and we were like forgetting our times over there with crowds getting larger after lunch hour.
i m all out after 6.. tired and the shoulder blades is killing me ..
sigh.. and i wonder how other women can go window shopping all day without getting any physical pain...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Friday, December 02, 2005

all rest and no works....

hmmm too much lepak tis week.. if i m not going out, i ll be sleeping hours in the afternoon.. hmm bad habit.. ill be in trouble when i ll start working next week..
so i ve done my medical check up.. the doc wrote a lot in the medical report.. regarding my RA and certain deformities.. and i ve found out that i m a ctually a diabetic u waaaa..
lotsa sugar content in my urine ( and it wasnt due to me taking breakfast before i went to the clinic)
lotsa sugar.. tats wat doctor said.. ( no wonder i ll pee frequently at nite, and i tot its due to iced drinks that i took earlier)..
had lunch with abg at vivo in the afternoon.. and then he sent me back home..was mad at him regarding an incident before tat, so i let out my anger via chatting.. served him rite.. didnt call or take any calls from him..yeah.. i was so so pissed off of wat he tried to do to me earlier..and the next morning he called..
and i only ansered his call at the 3rd attempts.. so he said he wont say sorry before but he did.. even told me he didnt sleep a wink tat nite.. hahhaahah..
well this stubborn ida won again...