weekend is back to normal. Akak with usual routine. Bangun pagi, bfast ala kadar, sapu rumah ( kalau rajin), mop rumah ( kalau kotor sangat) and bukak sliding door luas2 whlle swinging myself to sleep ( usually i wont la, sebab akak kan mana suka tido siang, kunun.. ). Pas tu kalau lapar, I will make myself simplest lunch using watever ingredients that i d already have at home.
However, while thinking of the last week's chaotic event, akak terasa la akak ni sangat SELFISH because I was like, feeling so relieved to conduct a normal life again tis weekend.
So adakah akak ni memang mementingkan diri sendiri? due to the [normal' life that i ve been leading for 40 years? Seriously, once u r so used of living alone, any abrupt interval will be such a nuisance to me.. ( tapi mengapakah akak rasa akak sangat SELFISH?)
Seriously, I m not proud of myself. Ropernya bukan senang nak berlaku ikhlas in watever things we do. There'd always be a tiny voice in my mind who'd be questioning whether I have done it rite, or its just a waste of money and time for me to do any god deeeds. sangat paranoia ok.. Itu lah.. selalu jek ada bisikan syaitan bila kita nak berbuat amal kan?
Anyway on the other hand, its very easy to just spend your money over unnecessary things ( but on 2nd tot someone has to convince me that it is essential to me).. However I m still contemplating over it till it'd be too late and tengok2 i ve actually spent the money over 'things' boley
So, since nasik dah jadik bubur, I d try to make it fruitful of wat i ve spent.. and yeah.. probbaly I d get to see the effect after let see... the soonest in 3 months time..?
But for the time being, probably i need to cut down my food intake ( yeah rite.. ) and try not to shop too much.. (ok.. no more new blouses and new pants for the next 3 months lol)
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