Sunday, May 26, 2013

If i could ease the pain... but the ego hurt the most

How do you feel when you have to lie down on bed for 5 months, with your leg fully bandaged, and you cant even squeeze your toe, bcos your leg was so fu&kingly hurt and you have to wail yourself out every morning when it's time for a dressing.
And you dream of tossing and turning on bed like you used to do. whilst at the same time you ve been lying on the same side forever, and GOD knows how sore your body was due to the similar awkward position that you have to bear for 5 months
To top it up, you have bedsore, pressure sores in both of your calves and you cant even put your feets properly on bed due to the wound..
to worsen it all, you have every feeling-less and empathy-less HO who poke your every vein and artery in your body, without even looking at the pathetic patient's face. and when they cant get the blood outta vein, they scolded you for being agitated, and never want to admit that they are suck in that particular procedure.
yet, there is one or two who really respect the patients and will drop by every now and then and asked how the patients felt.
When others are so stuck up, and boasted about their med degree obtained from university of liver pool .. pbhhhttt..
Indeed, i suffered. not because of the pain and wound and all. but the 'well mannerism' of those Houseman officers whom think that they are all qualified to bark, torture and neglect the patients' feelings.
You have taken your Hippocrates oath and within a year, you totally forgot about it.
I lost count of all  the HOs whom i met and yet, I only remember these 2 sweetest HO who treated me as a human being. I have even confidently told them, that they ll become great doctors later.
Anyway, this happened almost 3 years ago, and the memories suddenly came to me, when i take a look at those HUGE scars on my leg, as  reminder that i ve been there and felt that.
and that reminds me of an HO who ignored me thou i begged him not to poke me on the artery of my leg, I even begged him not to poke me anymore after unsuccessful countless times, and asked him to call someone else who is more expert, but he ignored me and he did that, and again it was another unsuccessful attempt. with tears brimming on my cheek, he continued doing that until another HO stepped in and took over the procedure. He left without even apologizing.
and that is how efficient he is..
I still remember his face and i wish i can see him back and giving him 2 pieces of my mind. Just you wait. I know that you d not gonna be a great doc with your kind of darn attitude..
on another note, the scar is looking much better now. I can even feel it at times, and some muscles is getting stronger by day. I am now using the leg as often as i could to strengthen it. It still an ugly sight to look infront of the mirror thou, but I ll survive.
Taaa

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