mencari Sinar

bosan sungguh rasanya.. memikirtkan diri yg tak punya pekerjaan.. sampai bila la nak melepak cam ni? terasa tertekan sungguh, walaupun ku akui usaha nak mencari pekerjaan itu tdak lah bersungguh -sungguh.. byk rilek drpd beusaha nak cari kije.. tapi memikirkan kudrat yg tak sebyk mana ( im being pathetic again.. duhh)
mulai esok, berseorangan la aku bersama bibik selama 10 hari.. ok gak tu.. leh bebas.. yeehaaaaaaaaaa ( cet.. perasan)
benci benci benci... bosan ngan idup ni.. bila la aku nak kije nii weiii
. teringat pakcik.. camna agaknya org tua tu.. 2 hari lepas ada sms dia.. tanya pasal meeting dia ngan MB johor..
agaknya betul lah.. i m no longer exist.. tapi tak salah aku tanya pasal urusan patronet.. after all i m part of it
Tktahu la sampai bila idup aku cam ni.. ada qualification.. tapi lepak cam org tak pas SPM.. sedih gak ati aku ni...

back in KL

so.. I m back in KL.. supposed to come back nxt week.. tapi ingat nak jimat budget ( not my budget, bak's budget actually) tumpang zura balik Kl je.. with rasma.
Balik je.. dah 2 bijik buku baca,, dua2 Norhayati berahim's. Best gak.. setulus cinta and hati yang luka. kadang2 bila baca novel cam ni.. terasa yg ia pernah berlaku dalam kehidupan kita. hati yang luka mengisahkan seoarng lelaki yg ego, yang terlalu sukar nak mengucapkan kata sayang pada isterinya. Tak pernah menghargai sang isteri.
baca buku tu tiba2 jek teringat pakcik. he never said that he loved me..
aku je yg selalu duk cakap kat dia :(
Sukarnya nak mendengar satu kalimah tu daripada dia. Sebab tu la.. aku tak terkilan sekarang..
betul gak kata penulis.. hati perempuan kalau dah terluka.. sukar nak diubati
Sampai mati aku takkana percaya dah kata2 dia..
memang malas nak di ingat.. makin diingat makin menyampah kat dia..
Alhamduliilah.. rasa tenang tanpa dia sekarang..
Misi kedua.. cari kije lak..
Urghhhhh...

Days after Zura's aqad

Funny, i havent been ere for a few days and when i logged in again.. everything has chnaged.. new looks of blogger. Its amazing one can go thru so many changes afetr a few days. this is one solid proof that ppl can go thru so many thing even after a few days. I m stuck ere at home, yet feeling more serene than ever. How time flies. Its been a week already. And i think i can forget Mr nasty. he's been sending me emails lately still give me fibs of his stories abt his no been barred but he still use the no. I sent a blank sms to the no and if the no is still available, i d surely got its delivery report. I did and half an hr later he replied with his usual "pssttt"
I nvr replied..
I was thinking of how foolish i was last time, and i cudnt think of anything good abt him now. he lied to me. Fullstop.
Guess it wud be better if i remain alone for the rest of my life
"kecintaan itu satu obsesi" sebenarnya...
Cinta pada Yang Satu juga yg kekal selamanya..
The thing is i have learnt to keep my anger inside and nvr let it out to anyone
But one thing for sure, its hard for me to accept and believe ppl (esp men) anymore...

itchy meeny mini mo

too bad.. i m all itchy for scalp to toe.. tot it was measles.. after all, amal has just caught it a few weeks b4. and kak ina tot it was from the bamboo mat that she put as a cover on the mattress.. so it ends up that i got an allergy.. and i didnt remember taking anything that can suppress the allergy on me..
finally the doctor pointed out that i might be allergic of theantibiotic i took.. but i tot i ve taken the same antibiotic so many times before..
perhaps i was wrong.. perhaps i ve been taking diff antibitics before.. i m pretty sure that i m so allergic to penicillin and its all mentioned out everytime the doc asked me.. anyway.. perhaps the same class of antibiotic has given a lesser effect to me..hmmm
well who am i kidding with? if I were to be admitted to a pharmacy fac.. i shud know how to differentiate drugs and antibiotics.. aint i?huh.. i m no pharmacist la.. huhuhuhu
going back to KB in the afternoon tomorrow to attend zura's ijabkabul and afterwards perhaps i ll stay there for a few weeks till my interview's result come out.
Dr Shah is a history now.. Funny, afetr aweek, i finally realkised that i m so allover him already.. In fact.. he is one of the 'thing' that i dreally wanna diminish from my mind..
been scratching all over.. except for the face.. it feels so good to scratch the skin when it is so darn itchy.. arghhh

a very dull holiday

cuti panjang tapi ntahle..bosan la plak rasanya. nak keluar pun bukannya sihat sgt.. sekejap ok sekejap idak... rasanya dah sembab sgt muka pasal makan ubat byk sgt.. dan satu lagi penyakit yg baru timbul.. rasa gatal2 kat jari kat kaki.. guess this is one of the side effects.. after all.. dah lama tak ambik ubat with maximal dose
tat lunatic woman harassed me again a few days ago.,.
tiba2 je antar sms pepagi buta.. siap tulis kot omputeh tapi aku pun takpaham apa yg dia nak sampaikan sebenonya..
lantak le.. tapi aku simpan jadikan barang bukti.. mana la tau..
other than that.. rutin idup aku 3-4 hari ni.. makan pas tu tido.. pas tu tgk tv..
nasib baik ada novel 2-3 bijik.. nak ngadap pc pun aku malas ni
tapi disebbakan dah takder aktiviti lain, nak kuar pun malas... mengingatkan aku janji ngan amir nak bwk pi Sunway pyramid tapi bila tgk dlm purse cuma ada 50 ketul, aku terpaksa batalkan niat suci aku tu..