Countless surgeries made me a disabled, just saying..

Woke up to a sunny saturday morning. It was 7 am when i noticed the day was already bright outside. Whilst i haven't  had my 'sola subuh' yet, I jumped off (literally) the bed and rushed to have my wudhuk. Oh my, Please forgive me Allah, for being so unpurposely forgetful. I usually heard the adhan, yet somehow I missed it this morning. Just when I have declared myself that I ll regard the 5 times prayer as my baby step to obtain a ticket to heaven, InsyaAllah..

Abu Huraira reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, saying, “Anyone who spends a pair in the cause of Allah will be called from all the gates of Paradise: O servant of Allah, this is good! The people of prayer will be called from the gate of prayer; the people of struggle will be called from the gate of struggle; the people of charity will be called from the gate of charity; and the people of fasting will be called from the gate of fasting, called the gate of Ar-Rayyan.” Abu Bakr said, “One who is called from all those gates will need nothing. Will anyone be called from all those gates, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Yes, and I hope you will be among them, O Abu Bakr.”

[Sahih Bukhari, Book 57, Number 18]

Updating on my sister's maid, well we believed that she is now history, except for the part of she might be coming again secretly (with her' boyfriend') to my sister's house whilst she is now staying all by myself + the 7 months old baby, that would be such a scary tot. We also suspected that the neighbor maid, allies with my sis's maid, as a day after the incident, the neighbor maid asked my sister for RM300, saying that my sis's maid owed her last time. We suspected that my sis's maid (let's name it as Lela), asked the neighbor maid to ask for the money, since she still has her 2 weeks pay for this month. and to top it all, she even dare to 'threaten' my sister, when she conveyed the msg via the neighbor maid as " If she ( my sis) doesn't want to pay her money, I ll pray that she won't be safe". and we were like , hellooooo, aren't we (the victim) supposed to pray for unwell being due to the bad thing she did to us? and just forget your 2 weeks pay as you have already breached your contract, you do not deserved your 2 weeks salary anymore. Even, while narrating this story, my temperature is reboiling again LoL.

I had enough of the last maid, and now with a smiler scenario,  we strongly believed that all the good and proper attitude that she displayed last time is actually a total FAKE. Wait until I got to see this Lela, I ll just strangle her to death (ok, it's just an umphh tot, hahaha). Hence, my sister decided to just commute from our parent's house to work daily, which will take 2 .5 hours of her time to reach her workplace. And, I have to say, I am not very happy with the decision, as again,my parent will have to sacrifice, babysitting, taking care of 1 kid is already tedious, and now to add another toddler and a baby.. that will be handful for them whom are not getting any younger. Hope this won't be very long. and as of now, my sister is again seeking for another indonesian maid, hmm.. we do not have that much choice, do we. Countless bitten,and don't have any idea, numbers shy, perhaps..

I noticed, a very minimal number of visitors in my blog. Some even read the entries back in 2004. hahaha, i never wanted to delete the previous entries, thou when i reread it, I feel like a fool, for jotting down all the nonensicals in here. Previous close friends, whom come and go, and by the time the entry is written,most of the people that I mentioned in the previous posts are all gone, except the family. I never regret it thou, after all, its part and parcel of our lives. Nothing changed tho, except , my perceptions most probably. Never trust people, never befriend people whom most of the time, do have their hidden agendas. towards the end, there would only be a few friends who stick together, as those are the sincere ones.

I was thinking of registering myself to a welfare department, as an OKU ( disabled person). I  think I am qualified for the status, but then, on second thought.. I ll just give a raincheck first.  after countless surgeries, I definitely eligible for it. but then, there is one scenario, of when i really want to be defined as disabled, as i think it'd be eadier to get a parking space when we r in the shopping complex lol. You have that disabled sign on your front mirror of your car, that will be awesome. Anyway, on 2nd tot, i rarely go shopping. Yesterday, I asked my student to drive me to Mines, as i have to get a supply of my facial care. Ill be pestering her again probably after 6 months:)

Again, what's with this Oppa gingham style dance? i just watched a parody of Oppa KL style and they even imitate each of the moves from the original. oh my, as for me,, some of the moves are a bit errr..improper, and unmannered. Whilst, I had enough of the narcissism of my niece on FB, the pouts and all, we had been mind-colonized by those strangers once more. I mean, I would understand, if the young generations can easily been invaded, but then, how come, people at my age (yes, I am 44) would still enjoy all these crappies? or am i the only one who is so conventional and outdated here? hmmm

I read one interesting blog, in fact i make it a compulsory to visit this one blog everyday. I never commented pertaining to her entries tho, but some of the entries will make me ponder. the current entry, she put a question on whether she has inspired anybody lately. and that remind me of this one student, which I was the facilitator of a finishing school before i was admitted a year ago. I told the class a story of myself. Of how i struggled to be what I am now. at the end of the class, i gave them a piece of paper each, and asked them to comment on anything under the sun, be it the  suggestions to improvise the finishing school or any secrets that they want to confide. I got a sweet comment from tis one girl, she wrote " Dr, You inspired me". I was so enthusiastic , that I put the status on FB, as well as treasuring that piece of paper ( which i definitely sure, its still in my room, stuck between those stacks of papers). and yes, I do agree, its not easy to get ppl to be inspired , especially when  yours truly is the subject of the inspiration.

On another note, i m thinking of just having macaroni salad for lunch, i m having this stomach discomfort ever since i asked for an extra hot sauce of nando's chicken yesterday. LOL. Have a blessed weekend, peeps. ( yeah, weekend is extended to monday, due to Malaysia Day). + happy Malaysia Day.  a patriotic end.. I love my country :)

Ticket to Heaven

The first day of Ramadhan... I m having a love-hate feeling with my previous suture :) since yesterday, I had this pain, on nd off at the previous abdominal wound. I thought ir might be from the bloatness, and I hope it is. I am so scared that the pain might recur at the same site.. its at the retroperitoneum ,and since it happened 2 years ago, I had this phobia whenever I feel pain at the similar place. Let's hope it's just from my daily activity. I stood up fr too long during my last clinic appts last Tuesday. I did not even manage to go to the PRPI where my students stood their posters up in the exhibition (Oh, btw I got 2 bronze for both posters). I was to n fro , juggled between 2 clinic appts. The seats at the hospital are too low for me, so I ended up standing while waiting for my turn. That was quite long hours when I ran to another clinic, and thenI noticed my no has been called already. Asked the counter,and she said I need to knock at one of the doors, informing them that my turn was already passed. It took them more than an hour to solve this matter (eyes rolling). To top it up, I was scold for no reason because I took my card to be registered at another clinic. I ve already told the girl behind the counter, yet, the so called nurse in the exam room didn't allow me to speak up.However, later she managed to apologize in her own way, saying that she was without any assistance and there were too many cases coming in at the same time.***************************** The faculty was having a spiritual talk ( more likely) yesterday and it continues for every Friday during Ramadhan. It is all about our heart therapy in islamic way, and he narrated on a few non-silamic people with such obvious mission but not the visions. As a Moslem, our important goal is to enter the heaven, yet, we never make effort to actually go there. Just look at our attitudes, and there he was telling about how we take for granted our activities in Ramadhan. he also said, that we actually practice fasting because its the practice that have been done years ago, not because we want to do it sincerely, or else, I quoted her sayings, why there are people who r fasting but still they didn't do their solat? It makes sense, whilst this is the month where we can actually accumulate many 'pahala' and as a ticket to heaven. Later, he talked about the difference between self esteemed and ego etc. We re the khalifah on earth, yet we have neglected our responsibilities, and task to become a khalifah. He also mentioned if we realized what we are, then we won't do any harm ,or do things that don't make any sense. Yet, we did.. didn't we? ******************************************* Last night, I was self-talking ( its a good thing, according to tat ustaz, We need to self-talk more, but only into positive things. We actually do self talk most of the time, but somehow if they were filled with negative vibes.. then there is something wrong with us. Ever since i ve been sick, I kept asking HIM to give me the better health, Thank HIM for the tests and how I can overcome them. I know, there would probably more and more tests coming, and I asked HIM to give me the strength and the patience o overcome the hindrances. ********************* I just want to be me, the smart me,the not negligence me, the not-lazy me, the one wo is grateful fot what GOD has given me, and the one who will go to Heaven at the end, in the hereafter. AMINNNNNN

banyak benda nak cerita tapi malas nak update...

Wahh.. udah lama akak tak mengupdate blog.. asyik baca blog org jek, tapi update blog sendiri malasssss.. sebab akak tau paling cepat 30 min gak nak menulis entri baru ni.. buang masa tu.. sebab baca blog org cuma ambik masa tak sampai 5 min.. geddit? ekekeke
Anyways, akak sangat la bz semenjak 2 menjak ni, ni pun sebab dah tak larat nak mengadap draf thesis postgrad students akak yang sangatttt sloww cam kekura tu... arapkan supervisor jek baca laju kalahkan ferrari ekekekeek..
Akak cuba mengupdate previous events secara random ...

Cuti semester : Undergrads dah start cuti starting 22/11 hari tu, tapi akak nengok masih bersepah lagi bebudak yang tak balik.. especially budak final year dann juga budak postgrads.. hari tu minggu exam sengap la kejap.. ( motif akak nak fac takder org ni napa tah)

Raya Haji : akak balik raya haji dengan jayanya selama 5 hari. belum cerah tanah on the hari raya day, akak dah terpacak kat subang tunggu fireflyz yg telah delay selama 10 min dari waktu jangkaan dan membuatkan perut akak tak sabar2 nak melantak hidangan di pagi raya iiatu nasi kerabu. sampai rumah terus bfast dan tepat2 pukul 10 akak pergi mengakadkan jual beli korban.. Fuh, tahun ni, sangat punctual tak macam tahun lepas. sampai jek, semua pengorban dan mangsa korban sudah berada di lokasi. Akak selamba saja tanpa kamera dslr dan juga video cam (tak macam org lain yang berkobar nak rakam), tapi bila melihat lembu tu yang tak putus asa nak jugak bangun walaupun dah direbahkan, akak ada gak pikir.. eh lembu ni cam taknak masuk sorga jek.. kurang redha bila dilihat dari segi perlakuannya.. ( atau pun dia rimas nengok manusia ber-iya nak rakam aksi 18SG nak masukkan dalam facebook ekekekeek)
Balik rumah akak layan 'beretoh" =tidor dalam slang kelantan yang kasar. lama tak dengar perkataan tu, tapi itulah ayat ala2 gangsater yang di letakkan dalam Fb status akak di hariraya oleh abng akak yang berada jauhhh di marseilles sana, disebabkan time dia call, akak tengah tido.. oh by the way, dia dan family yang terdiri drpd seorang isteri dan seorang anak pompuan berumur 7 tahun dan seorang anak lelaki berumur 9 tahun akan balik ke Malaysia pada cuti krismas ini. Siap dah cakap nak makan macam2.. itu le.. masa zaman duk KL dulu.. takmaunya nak balik kg.. sekarang.. ala-ala merindu dendam kat segala masakan kelantan ekekekek
Akak sorang jek yang balik raya haji, sebab abg akak sorang lagi balik on friday. Khamis dia ada meeting yang takleh ponteng.. so ptg jumaat tu dah tercongok kat KB. Walaubagaimana pun, kalau nengok FB akak, perasan tak betapa kuciwanya akak sebab segala keinginan sebelum balik tidak dapat dipenuhi.. Cam ampesss jek org kelantan ni ( eeii ni akak terkecuali ekk) kalau raya haji... abis segala kedai ditutup selama seminggu.. mengalahkan raya poser lagi...

kesihatan : owhh semalam akak kena ambik darah untuk banyak test termasuklah HIV, heoatitis, SLE dan pelabagai lagi.. nasib la akak rasa cam darah dah byk sikit sebab bila MLT tu took out, takder la dia menggodek-godek jarum tu kat lengan akak sampai lebam berbulan.. memancut jek darah tu walaupun slow dan proses itu mengambil masa yang lama la jugak sebab darah tu kena dimasukkan dalam banyak heparinised tubes.
Had another depo jab untuk mengurangkan endometriosis simtoms akak.. sap sap sui jek tu... Hopefully by the next appointment ie on 2/12, akak punya FBC and Hb and liver function semua dah ok... aminn... of lates pun, akak rasa akak dah makin ok.. walaupun sesekali tu cam nak sesak napas gak ( tapi mungkin sesak nafas tu due to akak yang dah gain weight ni, sampai takut nak diri atas weighing scale ekekeke)

Works: haaa.. ni memang takder final end nya... patutnya dah student cuti ni boleh la akak menarik nafas kelegaan dan buat kije sendiri tapi tidakkkkk, ok. Dek kerana 2 post grads akak yang supposed to submit their thesis on 10/12 tapi masih belum habis tulis some parts, akak akan sekejap2 jadi naga atau pun harimau atau pun sang kancil dengan mereka. akak akan juga menyingakan diri dengan staf yang terlibat sebab depa tak buat kije.. asyik ilangkan form orgg jek kije dia pastu antar surat reminder kununnya kita tak hantar report la apa la.. pas tu ada hati nak threaten org.. ptuihhhh..

Home: owhh akak baru la buleh start buat hse chores balik bila confirm menyapu pun takkan rasa mengah cam dulu. At the mo, tengah nak transfer my bedroom to a bigger one sebab selama ni akak duk bilik belakang and master bedroom buat jadi store room, ( bijak tak akak ekekeke). So sekarang dah pasang railing and akak kan hari tu pi bandung, akak siap pi beli lace curtain yang dah siap tu untuk dipasang. owh bandung trip will be narrated later in another para.. ekekekek

Bandung trip : akak kan stranded satu hari bila nak balik KL.masa tu duk pk, mati la aku kalau lama2 stranded ni aku nak makan apa, sebab segala rupiah dah dibelanjakan kat bandung ekekekee. Nasib la.. starnded sehari jek, dan accomodation was fully sponsored by MAS.. merasa la duk 5 star hotel kat jakarta with buffet spread ekekeke. owh it was a fruitful and overspent trip ekekeke. tapi konferens nya takder la memberangsangkan sangat sbb the facilities are badly accomodated. Bayangkan international conference cam tu, toliets boleh takder air dan ditutup by noon. nasib ada toilet kat masjid dimana tempat para students nya melepak. nasib akak tak lepak sekali kat beranda masjid tu ekekeke. Tapi pegi Pasar baru ada lah pengalaman yang cukup menyeronokkan, sampai ada keinginan nak pegi lagik dan borong banyak2 bcos the items there are triple cheaper than those in KL. You can get a blouse with RM10. where as kat sini those yang borong the same item will markup the price to the normal blouse price in KL. owhh sangat heaven bila bershopping altho im not into factory outlet things.. when u spent yr money in pasar baru first then later, u ll be comparing prices with what avail in factory outlets. But still the FO items are cheaper than those in KL. Owh btw i am now addicted with indon sos,ABC which they called it as sambal asli.. sangat la sedappp compared to chili sauce kat malaysia yang manis.. I even requested my brother's bibik who will be going back to surabaya tomorrow to buy me bottles and bottles of that particular brand. Alaaa yang ada iklan kat tv yg duta dia tu Chef Zam tu.,but that one is a different sauce, saus manis ABC yang cam kicap and boleh jugak buat pencecah. Saus asli rasanya cam tak sampai jek kat Mesia ni..
and btw, saus extra pedas in Indon is not pedas at all.. siap cashier tuh warning akak masa akak nak beli.. apparently akak makan sambil marah sebab rasa tertipu... ekekekek

kan dah cakap tulis entri baru dah ambik masa dekat sejam.. sheeshhhhh... anyway this is just the beginiing of the longchained entries.. ecewahhh.. dream on la.. kurang2 lagik 2 bulan ko update kan ekekeke

Till then..

and he is my idol now..

I was at Eagle Ranch Resort last weekend, from friday to sunday, attended a "compulsory" course/program for the lecturers who are less or 5 yrs in service. We did not hold any outdoor activities or any teambuilding games as wat Eagle Ranch is famous for, It is a place for adventurous people, not for me who is unable to do any physical activities.
So since it was my first time there. I was hoping that at least i wil have some enjoyable moments over there with some nice sceneries to feast my eyes with.. or the sounds of birds n eagles chirped/howled will be a soothe to my ears.
Well, it was not a nice start, i have to say. First, well.. they put me in a 'kampung house' on the 2nd floor and to go there, i have to walk a bit far, crossing a man made bridge and climbed a flight of stairs before reached the destination. I sweated all the way back to the registration place , as i have decided to ask them to change my abode to the nearest one and the most important thing, the one that is on the ground level. Yes, i managed to change it.
The hall is located far from our abodes, and since the day is always sunny with extreme heat and the sun block that i applied to my face was not that strong to block the uv rays penetrated directly to my skin, i sweated again when i went to n fro.
Frankly speaking it was not a suitable place to hold this kind'f programme. the food wasnt tat tasty as well.
However the best thing came outta this programme, we had the best lectures from the great motivators. One of the spekaers, I have decided that he;s gonna be my idol from now on. Forget Tun Mahathir, Jason Mraz or Britney Spears(oopss) for the time being..
he 's the one who managed to make my eyes watery for a couple of times during his speech, and i was so engrossed with his talk that i forgot to close my mouth and blink for 2hours and 45 minutes. yes, it was such a good talk, while he reminiscense over his past life, the past gaiety, my mind was automatically tried to relate things that somehow felt so similar with the one he narrated.. I tried to not to burst into tears.. It was like something has awaken up.. the one that has been put into dormant for such a long time.. as i tried to ignore it all these while..
maybe this is wat i need.. a positive energy surrounding me, people who produced this positive energy, the one who r not going to demoted us...
after all.. its life in your years that matter.. not the other way around..
..and I finally understood about it..
Thank you Pak Sheikh..

And Life goes on..

First of all.. i m still here.. eyah eyahh..
tah.. tang mana nak gumbira haper tahh..
i went to the 'seminar keusahawanan' yesterday. Not tat i m so keen to be a future 'usahawan" but it was a seminar for those who took MGM3180 aka Asas keusahawanan in UPM. I m one of those who teaches this course.. which is so amazing la kan. bcos i never had any basic on this subject ( except for a 3 days 2 nites crash course tat they conducted last march).
It wasnt tat bad anyway. I mean the seminar. the speakers r the entrepenurs tat already had established businesses.. and I love the advice tat one of the speakers ie Dr zainul Azizan, the owner of Nagasteel equipment gave to the students who attended the seminar.
When he's been asked of "how to manage yr time" .. he'd just simply said.. To manage yr time.. 2 things tat u shud do are.. 1. off yr handphone.. 2. Off yr YM
which is so true la.. cos I have seen the effects of how thse two things have affected most of the workers in our country.. generally.
I have seen a freind who cant live without her hp and thinks tat she can multitask by doing her works n chatting at the same time...(no offence to ppl yg mmg cam tu ek)
There's one report which i read quite sometime ago.. on a survey and its been reported tat we re actually wasted 70% of our working (quality) time when we started checking our emails.. cos one thing will lead to another, rite? U wont just simply check yr email cos there'd be emails which link to some websites and u opened the websites , they will lead to other websites.. and it will go on.. There'd never be a stop for it..
and to quote wat dr zainul said.. " how r u gonna think of some ideas.. when u r engrossed with chatting to ppl who r online at the same time? "
That makes sense.. seriously. I mean.. I have stopped chatting while i work.. except.. I know I do have some time to do dat.. Most of the time I d be invisible.. and besides.. well im not as chatty as i used to be.. when there r always loads of work tta need to be done before deadline.. owhh well look who's talking.. aku pun kekadang terbabas jugakk.. kah kah kah
Ok la.. on lighter note.. I was free allday today. Pusat KOKO didnt call me for finishing school.. so melangok la aku kat umah.. cam bosan la plak if i had too much free time neyhh..
Uploaded the pics which i ve snapped when i was in Athens last time.. most of the pics were snapped by my freind.. and most of them r not interesting la... we snapped lotsa posters.. as there lotsa infos tat we can gain from em.
I missed the students.. n the class as well. They r gonna start operating their bizs this week. its part of the keusahawanan syllabus. haishh cam tak sabo la plak nak nengok dorang niaga. all the groups have already submitted their business plans but i havent got time to read em yet. i m having 2 appointments at HUKM next week. Tomorrow, i m off for Ortho and a Ct scan on tbursday. Cehh kalahkan pak dokter...
Gotta run.. i mean.. crawl ( kah kah kah).. lum solat n im supposed to be in bed already neyh... ubat lum makan...
well nitey nite nocturnals ( bukan aku ekk)