Thursday, August 09, 2012

It's okay

I have 2 younger sisters and 2 elder sisters and 2 elder brothers. Yes I am in the middle of my siblings. I do not have any younger brothers though I yearned one many years ago. Not anymore, as I am now having nephews whom are young men now. +++++++++++++++++ We did have some tiffs once a while, siblings quarrel, they said. I once had the longest argument 24 years ago with my elder sister. We did not talk to each other for almost a year till she got married. The reason? hahahaha that would be the laughing stock if i told it. Anyway, she was in her late 20s at that time and i just reached 20. ++++++++++++++++ With my younger sisters? once a while I d get offended by those 2. But it won't be for long. Frankly speaking, I always wonder how come there are siblings whom are at loose ends amongst themselves. There is a malay proverb of "air dicincang takkan putus" and I definitely agree with it ++++++++++++++++++++++ You would know how much your siblings love you when you are sick and bedridden for half a year. When u are in those sorry states, family will be the only people who will concern about you night and day... right? Then, it won't be the same as friends. Friends come and go. Even best friends, at one particular time, they will leave you.... Even, when you were in your pathetic condition, they can just go and leave you alone. the sad thing is, you can't beg them to come, you can't question their responsibilities towards you. After all, they are just FRIENDS, not FAMILY..... +++++++++++++++++++++++++ And to top it all, instead of comforting you because you are sick at that time, they ll just keep silent.. and being a friend, you won't have any suspicion in your mind.. Of course, you ll think that they are busy with their lives and families, that they can't even spend one hour of their time to visit you who was warded for 152 days +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Other friends would call and ask your condition, but still the 'bestfriend'.. you haven't heard anything from them since you were discharged after 152 days in the hospital, But still,, you thought that they were busy with their daily routines.. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ After another 150 days, you came back to work, without keeping any ill feelings towards anyone. But then you heard some things that make your heart bleeds.....Yes. your 'best friends' were avoiding you all these while, that's why you didn't get any phone calls or visit. Still, you tried to take the news calmly. After all you can't make others to like you, ten though you can't help to ask yourselves, what have i done wrong, to deserve such cold treatment..... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ And when you found out, you ant stop shedding tears. YOu eventually got to know the reason. While you were struggling to live during your 152 days in ward, your 'best friends' were accusing you of putting a spell of black magic towards them, that explained their 'sickness' due to that spell. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ to make it worse, the reason of your pathetic condition till you needs to be warded because you have been backfired due to your at nasty action of chanting a black magic spell to them... Yes, it was you who created chaos in your 'best friends' lives,, according to the 'bomoh' that they went to seek help. he said, someone who is close to you, and they were ascertained the bad fella was you. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You did not have the chance to defend yourself because during that time when u were accused, u were at the brink of death. However, Allah has your fate in HIS hand. You have been given another chance to be in this 'cruel' world to face all these. No matter how much you shed your tears, you still have HIM to turn into +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You were accused of things that you did not do, it is ok. You still have your Creator that knows you. They were still avoiding you, It is ok, you still have HIM as your soul friend. HE won't avoid you, no matter how bad you are. You were thinking, maybe this your karma. You have to admit, you may have sinned towards others without you realizing it. HE is the most forgiven, you can always du'a to HIM, and HE understand. Furthermore, you tried to forgive others who have tarred your heart with more accusations and malicious remarks. and you asked for GOD's forgiveness for all the wrongdoings, the patience to go thru all these.. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ You had these kept inside for so long.. and today, when you were waiting for the taxi to go back, they came out of the door without any attempts to either smile or say hi like other acquaintances used to do when they bumped into you. You had this tiny feeling tugged in your heart.. a painful feeling... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ But it is okay, you have your family and the most important thing you have ALLAH who knows how you felt and the ONE who will never avoid you for the rest of your life. You have your family who will be in your side until you die. Then ... you will feel that it is okay...

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