of Maid and...the second chance

Wesak day today... another public holiday for us in Malaysia.. yippeee... I can wake up late then.. not like other working days..
oh well.. I woke up as usual.. at this fossil age :) I dun think i would be able to wake up late. No mater how sleepy you are, after your face was touched by your ablution... you are now as fresh as before you went to sleep. tried to read a few surahs, yet I left my glass at work. without reading glass, I am half blind.. literally
anyway... remember when I said that I would get a maid in my last entry..?
owh well tragedy occured.
That nasty maid robbed me in the broad day light. last monday morning, less than 12 hours after I fetched her from Rawang, I found out that she has a husband here, and then I realized that her main intention was to be with her husband when she came to Malaysia. It's not that she wanted to work as a maid. She refused to take care of kids as they will remind of her kids.. pbhhttt.
on that same night, a few hours after I brought her back, I called the agent demanding for a replacement. and the agent promised me that she will 'collect' the maid the next day.
Little did I know, she has planned to flee of in the morning. I was so careless, I asked her to sweep my bedroom when I was in the kitchen. and when I went to the room, her passport has gone ( it was in my handbag which I put beside the bed). I asked her whether she has taken it, and she admitted. I asked her to return it and she refused. I searched in her bag, but it was not there. I ran back to my room to find out that my hp was also gone!!
then she followed me to my room and threatened me with a knife that she took from the kitchen. She also tried to tie me, and I was so terrified that I yelled at her.. get outta here with your passport. She asked me to take her down and she promised me that she would return my hp when she's out of here. I told her, with my trembling voice that i would unlock the front door and she can go down by herself. but she insisted that I should take her with me to the front gate.. which is like 100 m away from the apartment. I havent taken my shower yet at that time bcos it was like 6ish in the morning. I just put on the abaya and asked her to leave the knife or I wont take her down. It was happened very early in the morning. I still tried to talk some sense into her. I said i wont get my money back if she just fled off and she dare to tell me.. dont worry you ll get refund.. pbhtt.
Even tried to ask where she would go after this and she mentioned something about her friend at Taman Seri Muda. I tried to dig out for the address and she said she cant remember but she knows the place ( well that sounds weird for someone who claimed that this is the first time she came to Malaysia.. hmm).
Anyway to cut the story short.. she returned my hp and made me promise not to call anyone.. she even apologized for all the things happened.. just when she was out of my sight I called the agent and my sis. I wnt out a few mins to look whether she's still at the main gate.. but she's no where to be seen.
I had a viva in the morning so I have to go to work later. Then I found out that she has taken all the cash in my purse. Made a police report in the afternoon.. and I found out that she also took the luggage bag and replaced with her wornout one. I was so dementedly panick that I didnt even realize that she was taking my bag along with her that day.. never mind.. at least I have my all parts of the body in tact lol..
Thank Allah for all these mishap. This only a very minor and unfortunate incident in my life... there are so many things that I am still grateful with because she did not even hurt me ... there are numerous things that might occur...but Allah save me for not implanting any bad idea to her mind at that time..
With tat, I suddenly realized.. HE has given me so many chances but why am I still hesitating to repent.. I have to admit I have been doing so many sins in the past.. so many mistakes.. and each morning to be wake up alive... its all HIS doings.  I feel so small.. and to think that there are so many people who tried to catch up with all good things in life.. I knew that I am so so far behind. i regret, why I did not realize it earlier.. Stop doing things that wont potray you as a Moslem. You can say that You still have time to repent and would do your solat taubah before you reach 40.. for example. I personally think that I am not yet a good muslimah. I am trying... not to talk so many nonensical things anymore. I left the alumni WA group because I think they talked too much about non-benefecial things. I tried not to talk bad about hatred. I just distanced myself with them. I tried to listen to some fruitful discussion before I went to be every nite. I tried to reduce my time WA-ing.... whoot:). I tried to read a lot of some inspirational stories.. about Robert Davila for instance. About Sheikh Yuseff Estes.. etc. I tried to read few surahs everyday.. and "qadhak" my incomplete solats last time. I tried to be a better servant in Allah's eyes. I tried to reduce the dictation by the Angel on my left and increase the one on my right. I know.. it is too late.. but then.. better late than never.
This is a self reminder.. and to everyone who is reading this.. ( ehemm.. :))..
"Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir. Rabbi tammim bilkhoir. Birokhmatikaya Arhamarrohimin." ...
O my Lord make things easier for me, do not make things difficult for me. O my Lord, increase my knowledge and grantme understanding. 
Aamin.

Of flares.. and colic

Hi..
I have been on and off with several kinds of symptoms..2 weeks ago. I experienced ubiquitous colicky pain on my left abdomen. It reminded me of my kidney stone pain several years ago. But the good thing was, in between pain I managed to do the laundry, cooked, ate, watched tv.. and finished a few surahs in the Quran. was not able to sleep the whole nite thou. The pain became worst during the nite. Owh, took 2 voltarens during the pain episodes. It got better at dawn. Had my fajr solat and went back to sleep, and it recurred when i woke up around 11. My sis came in the afternoon and i handed over all the souvenirs for her kids, had lunch @ Grills. I can only eat salads.
The rheumy appt was on Tuesday,and I woke up in the morning feeling another uncomfortable pain at the left side. Managed to be called upn very early ( well, that was quite a shock.. i mean shockingly glad:). described the pain to the rheumy,and he wrote a reference letter to a urologist. might be the infection on the urinary bladder due to the kidney stone, that' what he said. owh well what else is new..
my knee joint flared up last friday. and on that same day,  mom called regarding the maid.. again. she ( the maid) did not want to work anymore and urged us to send her back home. WA ed the agent, and looked like she has already been informed of the maid's prob. Looks like we are not able to retain her anymore, so the next day, we sent her back.
I am now desperately seeking for another helper for mom. been aggressively calling the numbers in ad, enquiring for a legal helper. I am doing this for beloved mom whom is looking for my sis's kids, most of the time, whilst.. the sister is not doing anything (for now) and expect her other siblings to look for another helper( which is supposed to her task, rite).. well am not complaining... but i pity mom whom is at the golden age.. is still looking for her grandkids.. whilst in fact.. she 's not supposed to take care of anyone or doing anything, at her age.. hmmm
what could I say.. some people are born with different perceptions...
In shaa Allah, I ll get some good news tomorrow regarding the helper.

taa..