Ala-ala ibu tiri yang garang...

Mood akak untuk mengupdate hanya datang malam2 jek.. itu pun kalau bukak lappy.. dan online.. ada jugak masa-masanya online dan mengupdate lecture notes.. tapi itu hanya beberapa kali dalam setahun sahaja... heheheh
My classes for this semester only avail on monday and tuseday jek.. so the rest of the weekdays adalah masa untuk menghabiskan kerja-kerja yang masih pending since cuti semester hari tu.. akak pun taktau kenapa... rasanya cam kije dah tekun.. tapi nak siapkan satu paper makan lebih dr dua minggu... owh that wont be my paper.. i asked the post grad student to write the paper, tapi biasa la sampai kat kita, caca marba jek dibuatnya.. quote reference kat text, tapi tengok dalam list reference takder... masa nak amend.. hati duk menyumpah-nyumpah, rasa cam nak penyekk jek budak tu if she were infront me at dat time.. seriously... post grad students nowadays are of lowest quality... and i keep comparing myself during those years, masa akak jadi postgrad student dulu... (idokla akak nak bangga akak dulu bagus.. tapi ex-supervisor akak si Datin yang dah ada pangkat P kat satu universiti kat tengah2 KL tu masih lagi menyebut2 nama akak kepada students2 nya sekarang... ) tak ke bangga akak? sebab nanti dia akan cakap " haa,, akak tu, walaupun saya dah marah dia, maki dia , panggil dia tolol, tapi tetap dia buat kije dia dgn baik.." haaaa tak ke kembang kempis idung akak tu...
Akak tatau kenapa bebudak sekarang are very indecisive, dan tak determined... contoh paling dekat, anak2 buah akak yang baru masuk U. Sorang, pas sebulan kat matrik kat satu univ kat PJ tu tetiba nak tukar masuk satu univ kat kajang tu. Masa kita org nasihat dulu suh masuk the latter univ, macam2 alasan dia.. at the end dia ikut juga kata mak bapak dia tapi during the process, dia telah banyak menyusahkan dan menghari-birukan keadaan. Alasan dia kenapa nak tukar univ? sebab the former univ hostel dia tak best sebab kena duk ramai2 dlm satu dorm.. dan dia mau masuk the latter univ sebab kawan dia bgtau duduk situ macam apartment.. sangat best... haaa tengok.. he can be easily influenced by the friends.. whioch i think is totally RIDICULOUS... abis lepas ko masuk the latter univ ko tau. bahawa indah khabar dari rupa.. mana lagi ko nak masuk? Universiti of Tanjung Rambutan lol..
kes dua, anak buah akak yang perempuan... dapat dua offer, satu matrikulasi, satu lagi diploma kursus yang agak sukar le ko nak dapat kije rite after ko abis diploma tu.. so makcik2 dia dan juga atuk neneknya bagi la tau.. masuk la matrikulasi .. tapi disebabkan.. tempat matrikulasi tu mestilah jauh skit drpd kampung halaman tercenta..and tempat yg tawarkan diploma tu masih dalam negeri yang sama.. so dia pun memutuskan untuk mengambil diploma dengan memberi pelbagai alasan yang tak masuk dek akal seperti... ambik matrik susah... (sebab ada org kampung yang balik kg sebab tak lulus matriks) dan juga alasan yang dia dah taknak ambik subjek yang berasaskan sains... well hello.. abis ko ambik diploma tu.. ko masih kena ambik basic science courses...
so ok la.. since its her decision, kita org redhakan ajer... so pergilah dia untuk mendaftar... tup tup tak sampai seminggu dah talipon maknya.. cakap dia nak duk luar la.. demam la.. basuh baju tak sempat la... bila mak akak cerita dlm talipon.. akak gelak tergolek2.. tu taktik kotor la tu.. nak cakap dia tak suka duk kat situ... minggu orientasi pun belum abis, dah merungut macam2...
sebab tu la akak kater.. hudak2 zaman sekarang memang manja... mengada2... semua nak yg senang.. talleh rasa susah sikit... padahal anak buah akak yang pompuan tu bukannya duduk kat bandar besar.. takder orang gaji pun kat rumah.. tapi memang duduk menyelit bawah ketiak mak ajer.. yang mak dia pun (akak yang sulung) tu pun mengikut jek cakap anak dia...kalau nak dibandingkan hidup akak dengan hidup dia.. memang cam langit dan bumi ler.. akak ni sakit bukan yang sikit2.. tapi semangat nak belajar tu berkobar2...mak akak tegah pun akak buat bo layan.. bial mak akak acah2.. abis kalau sakit tak leh berjalan camna nak pergi kelas, sapa nak tolong.. kat u sana tu semua org buat hal masing2...akak balas balik, alaaa Allah kan ada.. Dia la yang tolong.. kalau nak harapkan manusia.. memanglah tak leh harap...
Dan itu lah yang menjadi pegangan akak... memang la.. segala apa yang mak akak acah2 tu memnag jadi kenyataan.. akak pernah tergolek sorang2 kat bilik.. tak boleh bangun, nak pegi kelas pun tak boleh, tapi betul la, Tuhan akan menolong hambanya... ada jek orang yg akan tolong akak walaupun akak tak mintak...
Entahlah, budak2 sekarang.. tak perlu tengok yang jauh.. yg dekatpun dah ada contoh terbaik.. seriously, akak sangat kuciwa ( ewahh), apasal la budak2 sekarang lemah-lemah.. segala2nya mintak disuap.. kalau tak, komplen, cakap kita yang tak baik.. tak tolong.. abis kalau dah mentaliti macam tu.. apa ko ingat ko boleh survive kalau dicampak dalam hutan? ini dicampak kat Dungun pun, dah mengonggoi nak balik...Agaknya sebab banyak makan fast food kot mental pun jadi cam kentang goreng yg akan lemau kalau dah sejuk...
Tapi kan.. akak rasa serba sedikit, ini juga mungkin berpunca darupada didikan ibubapa... kalau dah tak tegas dengan anak dari awal.. cam tu la jadinyaaa.. kalau mak tegas, bapak asyik lembik tengkok jek ngan anak pun tak jadik...abis kesedaran pun tak diberi dari awal.. asal jek dapat ok sikit result.. reward la dengan PSP la, kamera la, hp la,, akak dulu dapat no 1, takpernah dapat apa2.. sebab apa? sebab akak tau... ayah akak tak mampu nak mereward bagai ni.. gaji cuma cukup untuk makan pakai dan sara idup anak2... memang la.. akak rasa itulah sebab utamanyaaaa....Tidak syak lagik....
(wah lamanya ko membebel akak... macam la anak ko ada sepuluh tapi hakikatnya... NAN ADO..) . agaknya sebab tu la Tuhan tak kurniakan anak kat akak sebab Dia tahu kalau akak ada anak, mereka akan sengsara sebab dapat mak yang amat tegas.. yang tak akan teragak2 melempang kalau anak dia mengada2.. hahahaah).
Ok la.. akak dah tak nak cakap lagi.. tak pasal stress di malam hari sebab cerita pasal benda ni....lol...

Maka..

semester baru sudah pun bermula.. not good not good...sebabnya..
1. hidup kembali kelam kabut dengan kunjungan students yang tak putus-putus bertali arus... tak berapa nak suka.. sebab... sakit kepala sebab mulut kena bercakap sepanjang masa.. seriously.. akak kalau bercakap jek esp dengan nada yg sedikit kuat.. akan menyebabkan kepala rasa sakit...dan juga...
2. bila kena bercakap banyak... kije tak berapa nak jalan.. konsentrasi asyik terganggu... sekejap2 bilik kena ketuk... seriously.. susah jadi org poplar ni.. ahahahah
3. semangat nak bagi lecture awal2 ni.. sangat lah kurang... dah 2 bulan tak perlu pung pang pung pang depan students.. akak ni kan org tua.. kalau mengajar kalau tak diselit dengan nasihat dan omelan cam mak nenek.. cam tak berapa nak lengkap jek lecture tu...
4. akak rasa akak need a break.. bukan nak break yg duduk goyang kaki kat rumah.. pas tu jalan2 makan angin nak memperabiskan duit.. akak ni kan ada satu lagi passion yakni buat penyelidikan.. tapi semenjak dua menjak mengajar jek.. takder masa nak menyelidik sepenuh masa.. setakat supervise students tu jek... itu tak thrill...
5. akak sebenarnya sangat suka dengan kije akak.. yelah.. wat more do i want.. ada kawan2 yg memahami.. yang bila akak tension akak leh confide to them... ada deadlines.. tu pun akak suka.. walaupun kadang2 rasa nak meroyan bila tak leh achieve deadlines.. ada jugak sorang dua yg akak rasamenyampah ngan attitudes dorang.. ( tu yg pangkat dah tinggi tapi bab2 melukakan hati manusia sekeliling amatlah cekap).. tapi.. ada akak kesahhh? moto akak. tak suka jgn campo dorang...
6. kadang2 rasa frust juga dengan management.. tapi akak tau dorang tu durian akak ni kan mentimun.. sob sob sob
7. overall.. akak sangat suka ngan kije akak.. flexi time.. walaupun kena punch in punch out and bila lepas kul 8 dia akan jadu merah.. tapi ada akak kesahhh?as long as kije kita siap takdernya dorang nak warning kita datang lambat ke hapa....
8.walaupun akak dan kwn2 yg lain telah di label sebagai syok sendiri... oleh sorang mamat hampeh tu.. tapi akak tak kesahh.. sekurang2nya penat jerih akak untuk memajukan tempat kije akak ni dihargai..
-- owh lagi satu.... akak sangat suka kalau dapat students yg first day.. dah menunjukkan minat yang amat mendalam pada subjek yang kita ajar.. dan penuh hormat pula ucap terimaksih bila kita lepas dia awal... and datang sorang2 cium tangan... owhh sangat terharu disitu.. dan tiba2 akak rasa its worthwhile akak mengajar pelajar2 yang penuh tertib macam tu...tetiba rasa seronok sangat jadi guru nih... bila dpt pelajar cam nih... TAPI..
bila dpt pelajar yg manjang komplen.. semua nak komplen.. masa itu lah akak mula jadi mak nenek.. membebel dalam kelas... nak bagi pelempang jek sorang2..
so SELAMAT HARI GURU.. akak ( haha tetiba.. motif nak berhari guru walaupun dah lepas.... )
... ok lah.. akak nak kena tido.. bukak lappy ni pun sobab kena update lecture notes utk esok.. last minute punya kije...

Al-kisahnyaaa

akak di royal garden, istanbul.. dikelilingi ribuan kembang tulip..eh tau tak.. tulips are actually originated from turkey.. tapi tanah belanda yang dapat nama land of tulip.. sungguh tak patut... kalau ke istanbul musim bunga, memang akan nampak tulip dengan pelbagai warna sepanjang jalan dan di mana2 taman.. sangat sanntekkkkkk....

Terlebih dahulu, akak ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon kemaafan sekiranya entri ini ada berbau sedikit keriakan.. memandangkan.. menjadi seorang akak yang 24 jam duk sensorang ni, kat mana lagi akak nak mengabarkan perkembangan diri, kalau tidak di blog sendiri ( tapi tu pun jarang-jarang la sbb akak ni kan ikut mood, time mood siri bercakap ngan dinding, sekejap2 siri ketawa sensorang depan tv, kadang0kadang siri bermyahsabah diri,, watever lahh)
Arakiannya, sudah lebih sepurnama, akak meng'haram'kan nasi dalam menu akak.. nasik sahaja tau sebab segala jenis karbohidrat lain, akak masih makan dalam kuantiti yang tidak banyak. ye, akak masih perlukan karbohidrat untuk menjana tenaga supaya senang akak nak marah students master akak yang serba lembab tu..
tapi semalam, akak terpaksa la juga makan nasik ( nasik beriani herba lagi tu) di ladang herba kat pagoh tu, memandangkan akak dah membayo harga untuk pakej lawatan yang termasuk set nasik beriani herba dgn ayam herna dan segala2nya yang berunsur herba la kekdahnya..itu pun akak menyuap bersama sendu di hati.. guilty sangat la rasanya.. ( tak padan balik tibai roti separuh buku hahahaah)
nak cakap berat badan akak turun pun idak la, tapi akak rasa kandungan gula dalam darah takder la mencanak sepanjang masa.. ( owh lupa nak cakap, akak ni sebenonya ada diabetes ye kawan-kawan).. sepanjang satu bulan akak kerap la mengambik sayur dan protin sahaja sewaktu tghari ( sampaikan budak kat kafe kelab golf tu dah sedia maklum), akak ni umpama arnab yang telepas di padang golf itu gamaknya..
hasilnya... owh.. akak gumbira.. berat nya mantain sahaja.. dan akak merasa lebih sihat.. dan tak ngantuk pas lunch.. bley? yang penting kandungan gula dalam darah tetpa mantain sepanjaang hari dan akak pasti rheumy akak akan kagum dgn pemeriksaan darah akak.. cehh perasannn..
yang penting, akak punya waistline semakin mengurang, walaupun berat total takder la mengurang banyak sgt.. so beberapa helai jeans yang tak muat dulu sudah boleh dipakai (sila tepuk utk kejayaan ini)..
owh..masa akak balik turki bulan april lepas, akak sangat terperanjat bila menapak ke atas weighing scale, harap jek berjalan punya la jhauh.. tapi akak naik sampai 2 kg time tu.. separuh pengsan dibuatnya...
of course la, akak ni dinasihatkan tidak selalu menapak disebabkan ingin menjaga segala sendi yang menunggu masa untuk collapse itu.. apatah akak kan tidak berupaya untuk naik turun tangga, so apa lagi yg akak boleh buat untuk exercise kan?
so akak ingin teruskan dengan kempen tidak makan nasik ini selama yang boleh untuk kesihatan diri...

Things that were in mind today..and also at the moment

1. still raging over my postgrad students yang tak gheti2 nak submit the papers that i ordered her to do 2days ago. Thus, i sent another email this afternoon..
2. a bit disappointed with someone's email today . previous emails raise my hope and today, it crushing down infront of my eye.. *sobbing*.. never mind.. im gonna put another try by writing to others.
3. heard from a friend that bae yong jun, the winter sonata's hero killed himself today.. by strangling himself with the mobile charger.... so saddd.. :( i pity him for not appreciating his own life... its the nowadays trend kot..
4. still have another week for myself before the students start coming in.. owhhh mengapakah masa begitu cepat berlalu...
5. how i wish my kid sisters have their own blog.. so dat i will know what really happen in their lives.. owh well facebook tidak membawa makna apa2 rupanya...(motif ko nak tau apa adik2 ko buat tu kenapa kak? lol)
6. Im thinking of ending a 'not going anywhere'-relationship.. at least tat's wat i ve been realising all these while..
7. during the closing ceremony of one event this afternoon, the speaker was talking abt 2S ie sincerity and sacrifice.... .. cant help being cynical thus i asked silently.. SO?
8.Can i just leave all the works behind and fly back to hometown????? can? can?
9.Ok this may sound a bit... ermm i dunno.. gedik... but i ve been checking the cinema website twice for the twilight saga series... should i say.. i cant wait to watch eclipse... erkk..
10. I should buy the padlock tomorrow. This apt is not safe anymore.. just read it from the facebook site of the apt committee... ( ada tempat proses syabu at the 4th floor.. wa cakap lu.. maybe its abt time that they called karam singh walia... )
10. wat i m gonna have for bfast tomorrow?
dats it... im off to bed...

Am I being too lenient?

Motif berblog di pagi hari? hahah mesti ada yang tak kena ni kan?
yes. ini entri luahan rasa yang akak rasa nak tulis cepat-cepat dan lupakan cepat2 ( ehh tak bleh lupa.. lepas tulis nak lempang cepat2 kat the main target.. boleh?
tadi.. sekejap tadi.. akak bukak facebook.. pas tu tengok status one of my post grad studnts yang begitu excited sebab dah book tiket nak ke Berlin for the spetember conference...
Ok.. akak tak jealous pun.. sebab akak yang galakkan dia org participate.. tapi yang tetiba jiwa akak rasa menngelodak dan perasaan 'irritating' dan 'annoying' yang tetiba bermaharajalela dalam dada akak ini ialah kerana..
1. owh excited ye nak pi berlin.. thesis ko dah submit lum?
2. dah berjanggut aku tunggu ko pass up draf thesis.. langsun NAN ADO
3. bebudak zaman sekarang.. ingat nak yg best jek.. abis ko ingat wat master tu hasilnya ko leh berjalan makan angin pi oversea je ke? THESIS nya mana dol?
4. apasal la aku tak leh ikut jejak langkah supervisor aku masa buat master dulu.. sebab dia la i can finish my master on time
5. dah masuk 3 tahun , hantar draf sebulan sekali tu pun macam buat cincai-cincai jek... apa dia ingat aku yg nak betulkan semua yg dia tulis.. DREAM ON!
5. Pas ni aku nak bagi deadline.. aku nak garang segarang garangnyaaaaaaaa bley!
6. tapi budak2 ni memang selalu wat taktik kotor.. sebelum aku marah dia. awal2 lagi dah buat drama ayermata depan aku
7. *7^%#&%$#@(KH*(()*^^&^%$#@#

Dah... nak pergi buat kije.. hati masih membara nih...

Selingan..

Kadang-kadang kita akan rasa dada kita sarat dengan masalah yang takboleh diluahkan. Sebab penyelesaian kepada masalah itu tiada penghujungnya. Maka, jalan yang paling baik, simpan dalam dada dan makin bertambah senaklah rasanya. Lagi satu, pura-pura masalah itu tidak wujud dan bergembiralah melalui kehidupan yang penuh kepura-puraan. manusia mana yang tiada masalah? samada masalah itu besar atau kecik sahaja., atau memang sifat manusia memperbesar-besarkan masalah yang kecil dan meremeh-remehkan masalah yang besar? kategori manakah kamu?
Sekiranya kita boleh melalui kehidupan tanpa gangguan daripada anasir'subversif', tanpa hasad dengki makhluk sekeliling, tanpa kutukan yang ingin menjatuhkan; kritikan membina memang dialu2kan tetapi kebanyakan manusia cuba berselindung disebalik maksud kritikan itu kononnya 'membina' la sangat walhal niat sebenar hanyalah untuk 'mencari pasal'.
Dan sebab itu lah ada lah jenis manusia yang totally akan memendam rasa dan sebaliknya berdoa semoga Allah yang Maha Kaya itu akan memberi balasan kepada kaum pengzalim itu. Biarlah dendam dan kezaliman makhluk Allah itu diadili dengan saksamanya oleh si Pencipta...
Dan saya juga percaya dengan hukum Karma.. cuma masa sahaja yang menentukannya...

Turkey trip- Antalya

Memandangkan malam ni malam minggu, so akak sikit terajin mengelod piccas masa kat turki hari tu.. ni pun jenuh nunggu padahal baru beberapa piccas jek.. maka terimalahhhhhh.... ( ye akak nengok masa kat sana makin tombam la plak.. muka cam buah epal dah hahaha) tapi skrg pun cam tu... nak wat camna.. dah tak fotogenit.. wat camna pun muka cam tu le.. tanpa dibantu oleh mana2 perisian komputer yek.. hahaha. owhh kronologi sepatutnya bermula dengan pic yg paling bawah tu... so caption macam tiba2 lompat sana lompat sini la yek


ini ada lah muka-muka yg excited nak pi excursion ke water fall ( yg sangat cantik very piocturesque wa cakap lu, tapi disebabkan tunggu bas lama sangat, muka yg excited tu lama2 jadi boring.. ini ada lah group 1 ASIA yek.. ada from brunei, india dan juga portugal.. ( tu european sesat.. muka minah tu cam iras2 ugly betty kan?)


owh ini view from jetty at the beach.. since i have once come here, and the other 2 havent come to this part of theresort yet, so akak pun jadi ala2 tourist guide bawak dioarang.. sebenonya kita org ingat kan nak pi snacking.. sbb terlepas lunch.. malangnya dia org dah tukar snack time to earlier time.. so lagi 5 min diaorang nak bawak masuk.. tgh kita org duk ambik tu tepat jek kul 6 dorang terus bawak masuk,,, kurang hasam betul... kalau kat mesia takder nya dorang buat cam tu kan... kalau ada hoteliers yg tengah ambik makanan...huh!

dan ini adalah muka2 yg sangat puas hati dengan perkhidmatan turkish bath and massage..on the 1st day we arrived, since conference started in the afternoon, we managed to go out pi try turkish bath and hamamm at the nearby area. kat hotel will cost aby 46 euri tapi kat luar we managed to get 19 euro/person for 11/2 hour. gila murah.. lara is the name of the city and hamami means massage.. basically it comes in a package of bath and massage.. akak siap buat facial lagi hahahah . 1st time for ppl yang takpernak masuk turkish bath.. akan mendapat kejutan which will give a cardiovascular side effect... akak rasa heart rate akak increased crastically + BP pun mencanak naik time tu.. nasib tak muntah jek masa tu.. tapi akak tengok turkish cam biasa jek.. akak telah disental dengan jayanya oleh masseur yang badannya masyaalah... pas tu naik atsa rehat jap.. minum turkish tea yang sangat best... di massage pulak... since kulit akak ni kan sensitip.. akak suh dorang go gently..tapi time urur kat belakang.. sangatlah besttt.. time kat peha.. menggeletis punya la sakit... aka rasa la kalau akak duk turki memang tiap2 bulan la akak pi sana... takpayah gosok daki sendiri.. org lain buat muahahaha...selepas disental akak dapat rasakan akak sangatlah putih bersih dan tak comot lagi hahahah

at the beach.. since kita org ( me and one of the bruneian colleague) tak sempat lunch, so berusaha menapak ke beach yang punya la jauh for the snack.. muka yang tak basuh tak mandi dah lebih 24 jam tapi ada hati nak pi beach .. tapi masyaalahh... viewnya sangat la losuy ( sebab makcik2 tua ada hati pakai bikini lalulalang depan kita org.. wat a sore sight heheh)

ini view daripada bilik akak... excited gila bila sampai ( padahal penat punya la 10 jam dalam flight, pas tu tunggu berejam plak tunggu flight ke antalya.. excited punya pasal....tu sebenonya swimming pool resort sebelah.. kat antalya ni semuanya beach resort.. dah namanya turkey riviera.. tapi best.. rentalnya sekali ngan meals 6x perday dengan semua facilities are usable.. ada semuanya siap ngan mini theater, golf miniature ( motif nak cakap juga?), turkish bath, sauna, gym etc...

-to be continued-(kalau rajin)

updating la sikit-sikit

Lama sungguh tak update. Lotsa things to write but as usual, I was too lazy to memerah otak untuk mentintakan bait-bait tulisan di layar internet ( ecewahh... bahasa)
And as today.. i took an MC.. i was at O&G clinic for a followup... kalau appointment abis after 12, harus ambik Mc as i d be too lazy to go to work and do things within less than 5 hours ( ada baiknya balik dan tido saja kat rumah .. and pas tu bukak internet kan kan kan)
I started my depo back.. due to the recurrence of my endometrial pain during my menses ( that is the 1st time in 1 1/2 years).. so not to take anymore risk of my ovaries forming the cysts, I begged the MO to give me a depo ( padahal previously berkeras taknak tu).. but since the mercilon gave me the pain and i think it trigger my enodmetriosis again, ( please dun ask me why, my response to drugs are very different from others).. so have to be prepared to get bald hahahaha. one of the side effects of depo is.. it will make your hair fall down.. lotsa hair ( haa kau dengar tu sedi hahahah)
owh well.. enuff about updates on my health.. the laymen wont even know wat i m talking about.. living with 2 sisters who are medical specialists make me become like i am now lol.. owh btw, the MO who attended me , she's from UPM too.. just started her master in family medicine.. when she mentioned her name.. it just occured to me that I once came across her blog while i was bloghopping.. ( so i did remember her whines regarding her bz life as previous MO in hospital kajang and she was very grateful when she got a permanent post as UPM staff).. did mutter to her regarding her blog and she was quite surprised hehehe. anyway, i did not manage to get back to her blog.again...
owh ok.. on lighter note, my fav bro and family dah siap bersukaria kat kg for a week.. ces ces ces.. balik sikit punya lama..as i has gone back home earlier, the tot of joining the crowd tu masih membara-bara, but due to the unfinished business kat fakulti ni.. ( the students are on semester holidays tapi tatap la juga akak kije dengan tekunnya)... cikgu kan cuti kalau students cuti kan... best kan jadi cikgu? NOT! hahahaha..
Owh btw my bp has gone down to normal level when the students are all gone. ( nampak sangat akak stress time students ada hahaha)
am going to penang esok for students practical visit. hajat hati nak pi memborong jeruk salak kat chowrasta bazaar but it depends on the 'tourist guide'. selalunya akak memang makan ati dengan the tourist guide's sense of direction. susah sangat akak naik cab jek la..
I m leading a very quiet life la nowadays .. i do admit it.. neither going out at nite nor weekends... must be the age factor... i m transforming to an anti-social personality la kot hahahah... ( but the only thing that i love doing till now i is gossiping with my kid sisters.. tapi haram... both of them are stuck with kids and their hectic life as MOs.. so i rarely meet them. But i did visit one of the sister at her Putra height's home last weekend. tu pun after too many procrastinations..
owh well.. need to take a shower now.. its very hot nowadays.. rarely rain in kajang... feel like sleepingt naked jek... hahahaha
ciao..

Misteri Nusantara 2

Assalamualaikum.....
semenjak 2 menjak akak ni sgt bz.. iya bz dengan kegiatan paranormal yang berlangsung dirumah akak tanpa akak sedari.. ala-ala mistik gitu..so semenjak akak dah aware dgn aktiviti paranormal tu, terpaksa la akak mengambil usaha untuk memberhentikan kegiatan 'haram' tersebut ( haram la, dah berlangsung tanpa kebenaran tuanrumah) dengan pergi berubat kat beberapa orang ustaz ( nanti la akak updatekan lain kali secara terperinci)
.. balik dr istanbul ari tu, akak ke jogjakarta ye mas mas dan mbak mbak sekelian ( motif tetiba cakap indon?) untuk mengunjung universiti gajah mada dan juga untuk aktiviti berwisata dan libur dan shopping kat pasar beringharjo. hasilnya wang di akaun akak susut berjuta-juta rupiah... heh:)
sekembalinya akak daripada liburan di jogja, akak kembali ke kampung halaman sambil membuat lawatan mengejut ke rumah adik akak di KT. dan baru minggu lepas akak kembali ke serdang... dan sekarang seperti dipermulaan paragraf tadi, akak tgh berusaha untuk mengurangkan aktiviti paranormal daripada terus berleluasa di teratak buruk akak.. ecewahhh
Minggu ini, akak ada konferens di KL, dan minngu depan mungkin akan ke Penang barang semalam untuk melawat student praktikal...
Rasanya masa berlalu dengan begitu pantas.. Niat di hati masa cuti semester ni sempatla menulis paper untuk penerbitan jurnal...
Aja-aja fighting akak! ( tetiba... )

Motivational story.. you think?

Im a bit melancholic tonite, bear it wth me then..
Ever since I came back from Istanbul last sunday, I still cant overcome this fatigueness.. and i tot the jet lag would only last for a few days after my return.. Unfortunately, I am still not able to adjust my sleeping time.. I ve become very sleepy at daytime and wide awake at nite time.. I think my body has been warning me regarding tis but i just simply ignore it.. now..i think this body cant take it anymore la..
Anyway..on lighter note.. Things are still gonna be hectic for me for the past few weeks.. the final year students have just finished their viva voce.. the rest have gone back home for the semester holidays.. and I guess.. after this I m gonna be quite free to start writing a few papers.. while taking some time off to see my parent.. and another visit for the studnts who went for their LIs.
I managed to blog visit to a few blogs in my list.. and I cant help to feel empathy towards budlee regarding his blog content.. I did see him couple of times in the faculty, as I know his face thru his blog. I guess this is wat most of the postgraduates feel during their studies.. and I m not an exception either..
However, its not that I want to brag during those heydays of mine.. but just want to motivate you ( if u r reading this post), your life is much more easier than mine.
If i can do it.. ( and you have to remember, I do not possess a good health, I ve rheumatoid arhtritis when i was 10 years old till now), u d surely can go through it till the end.
Those were the days la kan.. I went thru so many hindrances when i was in my 1st unmdergraduate year. Took 2 years leave as my condition was worsening at dat time. continued my study when all of are my friends were at their final year and i was still struggling to undergo my 1st year. I ve been yelled at when i accidentally trash my samples by my supervisor.. I remember weeping softly in the elevator on saturday afternoon, rite after i came out from my supervisor's room. and i still remember what she told me in that room," Saya tak pernah jumpa budak yang tolol macam awak ni,simply buang jek samples awak dalam sink without consulting anyone".. ( and how i was supposed to consult anyone when i was all alone in the lab most'f d time, as I started my FYP in 2nd semester, when the rest of the students have already finished their project during that time.
But I guess i have a thick skull, and when the the incoming semester started, I ve registered myself as a Msc student under the same supervisor and I guess that's why I ve earned her respect until now. She's still mentioning my name (in a good way) to her current postgrads even tho the incident had happened more than 16 years ago. Whe n i did my phD,due to my condition, I had undergone 2 incidents of sprained arm and other worst cases. I have to choose between my pain and the lab works and usually the former won. Nevertheless, all those incidents never stopped me to go on. at times i felt so frustrated, I was all alone.. but the tot of' this is the thing that I wanted, nobody put a gun at my head for that. and i ve never complained about it no matter how tough it is. so to you... my advice.. you cannot just put all the tots in the writing.. some things are better left unsaid.. Nobody will say that its an easy things to do.. any jobs in the world is tough.. The students will say that their times are the toughest.. and when they started working,their perception will also change..the key word is the patience. and the gratitude..when I have no one to turn to.. I know I still have HIM that protects me ever since I was born. I know, with his protection and his doings, I am what I am now. As muslims , we all are.. rite?
Last time, I have a supervisor who cannot be yr 'friend'. we do not have hps that we can just simply text ur supervisor and pour out yr problems even on weeeknds. and I personally believed that doing postgrad studdies nowadays are much more easy. we do not have the internet access during those time and we had limited references to be included in yr thesis. .....
owh well.. enuff about it I guess.. am still trying to overcome this tiredness..
Good luck..

Gumbira

Motif akak berupdate tgh2 malam buta ni? ....
Sebagaimana tajuk di atas, kegumbiraan hati akak ini sebenarnya adalah disebabkan ( wahh ayat!).....
ok.. akak letakkan dalam point form yek ( nih gara2 baca thesis budak2 dah terikut2 ni..)
. akak dah selesai memarking 5 bijik thesis dengan jayanya.. disaat lecturer lain masih lagi terkial2 duk ambik draf students dorang.. (bab ni akak memang bo-layan. dah cakap submit 1 april, apa kes ko baru terhegeh2 nak submit DRAF on the 1st April? Ke diaorang ni memang tak paham arahan dalam bahasa Melayu. So akak dengan tegasnya merejecyt mana2 draf yang baru disubmit on dat day dan mengarahkan sebijik thesis yang lengkap dihantar dalam masa seminggu. ( tu kira akak masih lenient lagi pe..)
. akak dah berjaya mengahbiskan kerja-kerja lain. juga mengisi fail untuk audit.
. so semua dah settled. maka terhegeh2 juga la akak nak buat slide untuk presentation kat conference next week
. Akak akan ke Turki next week, alone.. tapi balik ada company. Sangat seronok juga rasanya sebab akak akan ke Antalya aka Turkish Riviera selama 5 hari di mana konferens diadakan. lepas tu stop kat istanbul 2 hari sementara menunggu flight. Best tak? best tak?
. owh lupa nak cakap. akak dapat lagi another colic last friday. Pukul 3 pagi akak ke A&E Hospital Serdang sebab dah tak tahan sakit sgt. It seemed dat kidney stone yg diblasted 6 months ago, has recurred again.
. Owh lagi satu, setelah 9 bulan akak berjaya tidak di 'jab' dengan depo, akak sudah tewas hari ni.. sebab obstetrician tu nasihatkan akak ambik balik pil perancang, and this time secara oral.. akak redha jek la. owh and they found out ada fibroid sebesar 3x3 cm yang tidak merbahaya mengikut dokter. i gained 2.5 kg after 4 months.
. Nephew akak yang baru sebulan masuk SMS Alam Shah mogok tak nak balik skolah semula last sunday, yang membuatkan mak bapak beliau mati akal.. ( ikut hati nak rasanya pelempang jek budak tu)
. Akak pergi Setia Alam untuk melihat rumah baru abang akak di sana, yang ternyata tak mampu untuk akak membelinya hatta sebuah pondok pun kat sana..
. Muscle kat perut ni masih lagik sakit hasil muntah berkali-kali masa colic tu.. nak batuk pun sakit wooo....
Akak rasa itu jek laporan buat kali ini.. Akak akan membebel lagi when i came back from Turkey ya.. Harap2 nya selamat la perjalanan pergi dan balik..

Sehari tak cukup 8 jam

Sekarang ni disebabkan dilambak dengan beban kerja yang memerlukan kesemuanya diselesaikan sebelum 17 hb, akak dah mula merasakan satu hari tak cukup 8 jam kerja.. CTolak dengan masa pegi toilet, makan, meeting ngan students, satu tesis pun tak sempat abis baca sehari.. ditambah dengan 5 business reports yang harus di bagi markah.. report pada penghujung kursus, slides yang masih perlu dibuat.. memikirkannya rasa mahu stay back kat ofis sampai malam.
Malangnya, rasa kesian kat driver mengatasi segalanya. Kalau nak suruh dia datang ambil dalam pukul 7 gitu,abis pukul berapa dia akan sampai rumah? mesti lepas pukul 10 malam. Almaklumla KL ni makin lewat makin jam. Maka, nak tak nak, terpaksa la juga balik tepat pukul 5 so dat driver boleh sampai rumah dia before 7.
Hari ni kononnya dah janji nak balik dengan kawan, so dat kita orang boleh stay back sampai maghrib. Tapi rancangan tak terlaksana. At the end balik pukul 5 juga.
Masa kita sibuk ni la, masa tu la nak buat audit, bagi deadline bagai...
Apa salahnya kalau semua tu boleh di hantar selepas 24 hb?
macam ada 3 orang students ni.. disebabkan dia org bertiga jek yang kena pegi somewehere on tat exam day.. siap merayu suruh postpone exam. Kalau dia cakap dia org jek yang terlibat, of course la kita org boleh awalkan exam utk 3 orang tu. Tapi sukarela la plak merayu untuk kawan2 lain yang tak de kena mengena. Itu la buat ayat separuh jalan.
Esok cadangnya nak terus buat kije tanpa apa2 gangguan. kena pikir dua kali untuk pegi bersembang. Selalunya sembang tu jadi kegiatan sampingan sebab ada jek terjumpa orang yang nak bersembang on the way to toilet..
meja pun semakin berselerak. Silap haribulan terjumpa bangkai cicak kat atas meja tu hahahaha.
Ok la.. bak kata students.. aja aja fighting la gamoknyeee..
Weekend ni baru ingat nak kemas rumah.. dah ada agenda lain.. mom n sis are in town.. kena la jugak pi jumpa.. dah dekat 5 bulan tak jumpa mak.. sebelum pegi mana2 baik mintak restu mak dulu kan :)

Misteri Nusantara

okay< I need to blog regarding this, Tried not to think about it, but it really annoyed me. Tried to tell pakcik, (biasalah akak kan suka mengadu domba, but I dun think I d get any response from him. The least that he can do is irritating me more by telling that i m being forgetful again)..
But I know I am not. And I am pretty sure that I did not misplace it. Eh, akak yang basuh kain lipat kain, takkan akak tak ingat kan?
Well let me tell the story.. I lost my pant again. The grey pant. and this is the 2nd time tat I lost my pant inside my house!
The first time was last year. I lost 2 pair of pants at tat time. the chocolate and the pink ones. I tot I left them at my bro's but when I asked the maid to look for me, she said they'r not there. Of course la akak pun perasan akak tak pernah tinggal apa2 kalau balik rumah my bro. And this time, I lost another pant. I still remember I saw it nicely folded inside the 2nd drawer in the room.
Tapi tadi, bila akak tiba2 terasa nak pakai, akak cari lah tapi tidak jumpa. Persoalannya, siapakah yang mengambilnya???
I mean kalau ada org yang masuk rumah akak when i was not at home, takkan lah dia cuma ambik sehelai seluar kelabu akak jek. Abis laptop and other precious items in my house tu, takde la plak dia nak ambik?
So, tadi kan, akak cam dah bengang, akak siap cakap kuat2, sesapa yang ambik tu pulangkan lah.. cukup2 lah dia ambik a few items in my house, hari tu syampu yang akak beli letak kat fridge kat dapur pun bila akak nak guna, dah takder!
Akak perasan jugak, whenever I bought another new pants, ada la satu atau 2 helai yang lama went missing. and last time, when the chocolate pant went missing, I just bought another new pant with the same color. And this grey pant, I also have another one with the exact color..
Mysterious,, isnt it?
and that reminds me of another incident... which happened a few months ago.
The fan was on when i came back from work. Scary gila akak time tu cos I remember I did not leave the fan on when i left the house.
Hmm.. i dun know la.. Really dun want to think about it but it has really pissed me off to the extent that i changed my mind to wear the blouse that matches with the pant. I m wearing a baju kurung instead.
And Miss Ghost, can you please return my pant and just take watever pants that I dun want to wear anymore?

Almost 'meroyan'

Kita hanya merancang.. Tuhan yang menentukan,...
Dan atas pernyataan itu lah akak harus pasrah dan redha kerana segala yang dirancang tidak berlaku..
Maka, akak terpaksa teruskan juga rancangan itu walaupun berseorangan.. walaupun segala rancangan telah terkubur begitu sahaja...
Tapi akak MASIH ada PLAN B.. okeyyyy! :)

Kisah 2: Akak masih lagi meroyan dengan kerja yang makin berlambak-lambak ,ditambah dengan students yang punya hobi hantar draf tesis last menett pas tu expect akak boleh baca dalam satu hari...(Akak rasa kalau hari-hari akak meroyan, memang tak lama la tu akan dihumban ke bangunan sebelah tempat kije pakcik shahe kita... ada harapan jadi jiran dia karang :)). Namun begitu ada la juga kebaikan nya... yakni (1) akak tak sempat nak makan minum.. boleh kurus gamaknya (kot)..(2)akak merasa diri sangat produktif, so rasa sedikit sebanyak akak telah menyumbang kepada negara.. (lame punya ayat ni ). Tapi entah mengapa, walaupun bulan ni adalah bulan yang sungguh 'hectic' tapi akak rasa cam bersemangat je.. ( apakah...!)
Kisah 3: Rindu kampung tapi takboleh balik. Ingat nak balik weekend pun, tetap ada jek aktiviti samada difakulti ataupun universiti. Nak balik weekdays, kena tunggu final year students go thru dianya viva dan segala bagai. 2 orang kawan karib akak dah collapsed dah sebab stress kot. Akak, alhamdulillah masih lagi bertahan. kalau nak tumbang.. sempat pegang lamp pole lagi kot :)

Akak harap Allah permudahkan laluan hidup akak dan juga sihatkan tubuh badan akak sehingga hujung tahun ni. AMIN

Hesitating..

Ok so i feel like updating today...despite my hectic life nowadays..
Of lates, I ve been piled up with lotsa students theses, yang cas last-last minute baru suruh kita baca.. typical for them..
and I m in the sorta disturbed mood... due to an incident which make me sangat la berjauh hati with my good frends..
yes, I m nut supposed to pour this feelin out as I ve actually promised myself.. that no venting out either yr frustration or yr anger in blogs, our wallowing in self pity..(tapi i ve to break my own rules on this one isolated case..)
am not going to narrate it openly tho...
Let me just narrate things that indirectly related with the things that really bothering me now.. basically people may just add 2 into another 2.tho..
Haishh.. how to start arr?
On another note.. tak payah la cerita.. let me keep it inside myself.. till i m humbly back to normal.. Just put my nose inside all those stacks of paperworks on my messy table..

Kisah dalam cerita

Kisah 1: Semalam akak punya birthday. Tetiba jek rasa terharu sebab pelbagai umat manusia kat facebook akak post birthday wishes. waaahh... selama ni takder sapa tau birthday akak, ni dah join fb semua org sama-sama celebrate ( la sangat) dengan akak. Iya la kata-kata dan doa tu pun dah cukup menggumbirakan hati akak yang tengah lara ni (cehwahh). My good friend belanja akak makan, lepas tu terus la buat aktiviti sampingan serba sedikit kat JJ equine park. Ada seorang manusia tu lupa birthday akak, tak pe la, lagipun konfrontasi masih lagi diteruskan.

Kisah 2: Hari ini akak meroyan sensorang cari pw dalam bilik untuk isi e-filing. rasanya dah letak ditempat yang selamat, tapi dah terlampau selamat sampai cari balik pun tak jumpa-jumpa. End up, akak terpaksa la call balik dia punya talian hotline. Nak kena simpan dan tampal kat dahi agaknya pas ni. Anyway, akak dah selamat mengisi e-filing dan internet adalah sangat laju sebab tak ramai yang mengisi nya lagi. Tunggu lagi dah dekat2 deadline, alamatnya traffic jam la website lhdn tu.

Kisah 3: takder hehehe.

Disebabkan pulut santan binasa...

Pagi tadi mood akak masih elok sehinggalah, ada manusia durjana yang tengah elok2 minum teh tepi akak menegur akak dengan cara yang sangat kurang sedap ditelinga akak. Akak yang tengah membaca ruangan hiburan kat harian metro masa tu, sebenarnya tengah duk baca mengenai budak2 yang layak ke AF8 tahun ni. I mean,salah ke akak membaca nya, bukannya masa tu akak ada menggossip atau mengumpat pasal dia orang. Akak hanya membaca dengan senyap dari paragraf awal hinnga ke akhir., sambil2 tengok jam, sempat ke lagi akak masuk kerja pukul 8.
Tiba-tiba ada lah seorang manusia tu yang terus jek menyeru lantang depan akak " You baca ruangan hiburan tu, takder faedah langsung, those are all bull shits" sambil bersuara dengan sombongnya.
Tahu tak apa perasaan akak ketika dan saat itu. Sangat SENTAP ok....S.E.N.T.A.P!
Akka cuba nak menyambung semula pembacaan akak tapi 'mood' akak dah hilang. Terngiang-ngiang ditelinga akak, kata-kata manusia tersebut yang berbaur sombong semacam. I mean, kalau ye pun nak tegor, boleh tak cakap elok-elok, contohnya.. " dah-dah le baca pasal AF tu'.. takpayah le sambung dengan "tak berfaedah langsung u baca tu"!
Akak baca fakta ok.. bukan ruangan gossip, bukannya akak tengok pun konsert AF tu, tapi apa salahnya akak baca sapa budaak2 yang terpilih tu, mana asal doa, apa pendidikan dia, apa hobi dia.. salah ke? SALAH ke?
Terus akak tutup paper tu sedikit kasar tapi takder la sampai hentak meja as he claimed. Kalau betul2 akak hentak meja, dah lama meja tu terpelanting. Akak bukannya ada kudrat sangat nak hentak2 benda- benda nih.
So terus la akak membisu seribu bahsa sampai ke fakulti. tisu yang akak pegang kat tangan dah akak robek2, carik-carik sampai hancur. Ikutkan nafsu amarah dah akak campak je kat muka dia.
Selalunya kalau hati akak tengah kacau macam tu, ada jek bahu yang akak boleh pinjam, tapi hari ni, sangat sibuk nak marking paper la, students datang jumpa la, macam-macam la sampai akak takder masa nak meluahkan perasaan amarah akak tu.
Banyak benda yang akak rasa boleh tempelak kat 'penegur' tu tapi akak simpan jek dalam hati. Cuma mata jek la berair sepanjang perjalanan tu.
Manusia tu kata akak takboleh terima nasihat orang, tak boleh terima teguran org lain. Itu pun akak tak menjawab. Sebab akak tau kalau akak jawab, akan lain pula jadinya nanti.
Cuma akak pikir, kalau baca ruangan hiburan yang seminngu sekali pun susah tu tak berfaedah.. jadi.. hisap rokok yang dah tentu menghitamkan peparu tu, sampai 4-5 kali sehari tu. berfaedah ke?
Akak boleh teriuma teguran orang tapi kalau nak tegur tu, cermin dulu diri sendiri.. jangan suka hati sahaja sebut "tak berfaedah; kalau diri sendiri pun tak mampu nak quit buat keja yang tak berfaedah...
kan?
sampai la saat ni.. akak masih sentap, dan jangan harap akak nakmintak maaf sebab akak tak rasa akak bersalah. Akak tak hentak pun meja.. dan bukan akak yang cari gaduh. Akak juga tak makan pulut dan akak tak rasa santan yang ditanak dengan pulut tu santan yang masih elok. Santan basi kot...
Sekian.

Haruan Goreng Berlada

Hari ini akak adalah kempunan. Tak dapat jamah sup haruan dan haruan goreng berlada, lepas syarahan inaugural one of the professor kat dept akak, Akak terpaksa rush ke MATTA fair ( la kunun) untuk mencari tiket ke suatu tempat. hasilnya.. nan adoo. Takder matta fare, normal fare jek ada, baik akak beli online jek cam tu. So inilah yang dinamakan.. yang dikejar tak dapat.. yang dikendong berciciran.. Udah le kat PWTC tu punya la ramai, byk travel agencies yang mengamalkan diskriminasi.. akak dukla tercangak kat kaunter punya la lama, takdernya nak dilayan... ikut hati nak jek buat aduan kat tourism malaysia kat situ gakk..
Akhirnya akak pun balik dengan penuh rasa keciwa.. sebab last matta fair, akak sempat la beli tiket ke kyoto yang hanya separuh harga daripada tiket yang dibeli online. Nampaknya plan akak kurang menjadik tahun ini.
Esok ada simposium lagi kat fakulti untuk 2 hari. The father n the sister are in town. Tak tahu la sempat nak jumpa atau tak sebelum dia org berlepas balik KB semula.
Akak merasakan sungguh bizi sampai tak sempat nak mop lantai rumah minggu ini.
Okeh la. akak nak pi beli tiket online jek la sat gi.
Taaaa...

What I did last week..

Watched 2 movies in a row.. (walaupun duk complain kije berlambak2.. sampai kena took a break masa tgh2 buat kije.. dengan menge-call sapa2 yang jadi masa untuk me-release kan tension ( eeee.. bahasa akak ni makin terukk)...
tapi tetapp sempat tengok wayang.. berdesup kuar time lunch pas tu sambung balik kije pas abis.. balik kije tetap kul 5... ( well i really have an excellent focus..)
the outcome.. Niyang rapik... story plot lompat sana sini... disebabkan nak masukkan elemen suspen tu.. the director was so eager to include watever scenes without thinking of its continuity.. the motives for each scene was not relevantly supported... well no offence to the director cum producer...
Valentine's day... much better compared to the former mentioned.. even tho it consists of many stories, we can still the connection between each of em. it even has the moral of the story.. It was smoothly narrated..
and this weekend, i am still struggling with the final exam questions.. Next weekend gonna be a hectic one.. marking lagik.. bla bla bla..
owh well.. life is like that I guess..

shoohhhh go away..

Am having straight lectures from 2 till 7 pm today, hence tis updating.. sebab akak dah sangat mengantuk ni due to the mounds of food that i ve just eaten during lunch ( jamuan , courtesy from a few colleagues). of lates, there are too many tasks queueing up, semuanya nak kena buat at one shot.. tak ke haru tu..
anyway tis is the life i chose.. kang takder kije sangat kan complain jugak.. goyang kaki lama sangat pun bo-sssssan jugak.. manusia ni memang tak pernah bersyukur.. (tetiba..)
anyway, akak nak mula mengatur langkah ke lecture hall yg dekat basement tu hahaha.. nak lalu pun ala2 going thru tunnel dulu...
owh well.. just a short update to overcome my so-called 'narcolepsy'...hopefully the students wont catch the same syndrome.. "dream on" lol
till then...

Of expenses and not being selfish..

weekend is back to normal. Akak with usual routine. Bangun pagi, bfast ala kadar, sapu rumah ( kalau rajin), mop rumah ( kalau kotor sangat) and bukak sliding door luas2 whlle swinging myself to sleep ( usually i wont la, sebab akak kan mana suka tido siang, kunun.. ). Pas tu kalau lapar, I will make myself simplest lunch using watever ingredients that i d already have at home.
However, while thinking of the last week's chaotic event, akak terasa la akak ni sangat SELFISH because I was like, feeling so relieved to conduct a normal life again tis weekend.
So adakah akak ni memang mementingkan diri sendiri? due to the [normal' life that i ve been leading for 40 years? Seriously, once u r so used of living alone, any abrupt interval will be such a nuisance to me.. ( tapi mengapakah akak rasa akak sangat SELFISH?)
Seriously, I m not proud of myself. Ropernya bukan senang nak berlaku ikhlas in watever things we do. There'd always be a tiny voice in my mind who'd be questioning whether I have done it rite, or its just a waste of money and time for me to do any god deeeds. sangat paranoia ok.. Itu lah.. selalu jek ada bisikan syaitan bila kita nak berbuat amal kan?
Anyway on the other hand, its very easy to just spend your money over unnecessary things ( but on 2nd tot someone has to convince me that it is essential to me).. However I m still contemplating over it till it'd be too late and tengok2 i ve actually spent the money over 'things' boley
So, since nasik dah jadik bubur, I d try to make it fruitful of wat i ve spent.. and yeah.. probbaly I d get to see the effect after let see... the soonest in 3 months time..?
But for the time being, probably i need to cut down my food intake ( yeah rite.. ) and try not to shop too much.. (ok.. no more new blouses and new pants for the next 3 months lol)

Kalau sapu lantai rumah sampai 10 kali sehari adakah maksudnya akak mengalami simtom2 OCD?

Seriously, akak menjadi sangat rajin mengupadate 2-3 hari ni memandangkan aktiviti akak yang biasa di hari cuti iaitu tido terbongkang di atas sofa sambil tengok tv tidak dapat dilaksanakan berikutan kehadiran tetamu2 kecil kat rumah akak ni. Arakiannya terpaksa la akak mencari hobiain untuk mengisi masa cuti selama 4 hari ini dengan mencari pepenjuru dinding dan membuka laptop sambil mem-bloghopping, walaupun sumpah, aktiviti begini adalah paling tidak digemari tatkala cuti panjang. Akak rela melepak disofa kecik yang hanya boleh memuatkan 2 orang kanak2 sahaja sambil menonton back to back episode siri CSI. Tapi minggu ini akak terpaksa mengorbankan sofa kecik kesayangan akak itu utk orang yang lebih memerlukan huhuhu. (tapi akak rasa cam cuak jek sebab budak2 cam manjang tengok tv jek, ye lah,, anak orang, nak akak tego2 kan.. majuk nak balik rumah anak2 yatim lak kan)... ishhh sesungguhnya akak adalah amatur di dalam bab2 cam ni tau..
Hari Sabtu, akak berjaya goreng mee hoon untuk lunch, dan rasanya menjadi kegemaran ramai kot sebab akak bagi dorang makan sampai malam hahaha ( tak senonoh tul). Lpeas tu pagi semalam akak goreng segala frozen food yang ada dalam fridge, pas tu bfast makan roti dan butter jek.. tengahari akak pegi tesco carikan baju barang 1-2 helai untuk budak2. Seriously, akak nengok dorang ni pakai baju cam tangkap muat jek. Baju kurung yang boleh isi seoranmg budak lagi..Yang herannya tak nampak pun dorang letak panties dalam bakul baju kotor tu...Akak sangat musykil jugak tu.. adakah diaoramg pakai panties yang sama berhari2? ( eeuuww tak sanggup akak nak tanya).. so kesudahanya, akak belikan panties, baju tidur, baju jalan dan sandals untuk diaorang. pagi tadi kitaorang turun bawah bfast kat kedai mamak, dah bergaya sakan la dorang dengan baju yg dibeli semalam tapi yg tak berapa sedap mata memandangnya, dorang still pakai tudung yang dah al-ala telekung sembahyang gayanya. Nak tego, karang takut kecik hati pulak... ( bukannya akak ni nak cakap akak ni orang bandar, pandai bergaya, tapi zaman akak muda remaja dulu, kalau akak tak berapa pandai berpesyen, nak mix n match ni.. ada jek la yang tolong tego kan cakap pakai cam ni tak seswai. ) Ala mak akak dulu memang cukup trendy per.. dia la yang menjadi penasihat fesyen utk akak cewahhhh hahaha.
Itu lah.. susah juga nak menego anak orang ni ghoopernyaaa yob..
Entah la.. adik akak dah tepon katernya nak ngambik akak dan anak2 pi rumah dia. Kita org nak bbq tengah hari ni.. biasa la sambut tahun baru cina hehehe.
By the way, 2-3 hari ni akak feeling2 cam mak2 org , iya lah.. selalunya akak basuh baju seminggu sekali jek, nih hari2 duk mesin baju.. sapu lantai pun 10 kali sehari.. ala budak2.. sikit2 suka beno nak makan kuaci pastu buat sampah kat lantai.. akak nak tego karang.. takut kecik hati ( eeee manjang akak ni nak kena pikir cam ni).. so selang 1/2 jam la akak duk mop lantai dapur, sapu lantai kat hall.. cam dah OCD plak rasanya.. hahahah (kalau tak mak akak ni.. nesti dia bangga, anak dia dah jadi pembersih cam dia hahahah)
Akak taktau la perassan depa ni camna.. iya lah.. entah2 sekali ni jek diaorang nak datang sini.. serik dah pas ni hahahaa.. tapi yang akak sukerrr sangat ngan budak2 ni.. masuk waktu jek terus solat tak payah nak menjerit2 nak suruh dorang solat.. Alhamduliilah bab2 ni tak perlu nak ajar.. dorang dah ajar yg elok2 kat rumah anak2 yatim tu..( anak buah akak kalau bab2 solat ni memang selalu buat tak ingat.. nak rotan pun.. mak bapak dia sendiri pun tak wat cam tu..)
Kadang0kadang terdetik jugak di hati akak yang selfish ni... rasa macam " ishh dah 40 tahun hiduo sorang, ada budak2 ni cam menyusahkan la.. " heeee trak senonoh tau hati jhat akak nih.. Tapi itu la.. akak kan dah berazam, tahun ni, resolusi akak adalah memperbanyakkan amaln dan mengurangkan pembaziran. ( iyalah.. selalu akak shopping bagak utk diri sendiri pas tu akak rasa menyesal sebab membazir..) tapi akak belanja utk dorang semalam, alhamdulliah akak tak rasa cam tu...Tengok keaddan rumah dorang yang terpaksa berhimpit2 untuk tidur, dengan kemudahan yang ala kadar tu.. akak rasa insaf. Akak cakap kat anak buah.. camna ye.. kalau kita masa kecik2 dulu terpaksa duk cam ni.. mesti asyik memberontak jek.. semua kena kongsi.. Iya lah.. akak ni pun ramai adik beradik, akak kan anak ke 5 dari 7 org adik beradik, maaa kecik2 dulu pun kena kongsi jugak.. tapi takle sampai kena share sampai 30 orang sekali. Dengan ruang yang sempit lagik.. Ada 3 orang adik beradik ni, semua lelaki ( yang paling kecik 4 tahun)dihanyar ke RAAY sg Manggis tu daripada Jabatan Kebajikan. Bapak diorang asyik duk bagi anak2 kat orang pas tu mintak duit Eventually jadi kes polis, dan budak2 tu pun.. dah serik , Dorang takut nak jumpa orang, takut orang akan ambik dia cam dulu2..Bila ramai orang datang melawat , terus masuk rumah sembunyi.. Kesiankan.. baru 4 tahun tapi dah trauma cam tu...
Akak nak kena pegi dulu.. Esok budak2 dah nak balik... lepas ni rumah akak sunyi balik.. Siri akak bercakap dengan dinding akan disambung balik hahaha...

2 orphans and a niece

Yes, I am not home alone today, there are 3 guests today, 3 girls yang kesemuanya masih duk terbongkang tak bangun2 lagi whilst me, the efficient lady ( ewahh!) has been awake since 7 am, took a bath, washing all my clothes while watching sonata labu labi 3 in astro... hahaha
I m feeling so uneasy tho, as I ve been so alone all the time.. i do wat i want to do, and today , i have 2 guests who only muttered a few words to me since last nite and a niece (tats an exception as she has known me since she was a baby)
I am not sure whether wat I did yesterday was rite, I mean.. its not easy to develop some kind of motherly love after an hour's conversation rite.. and I m not that ... u know... very motherly in person.. ( exception again to all the dozens of nieces n nephews of mine)..
I cant even suggest them to call me ibu.. ( hahah tat's wat i have in mind).. I mean do i have a right to ask them to call me that, and ishhh. im having problem to befriend 2 kids with the age range of 9-15. I mean.... i m not going to ask them to stay wth me forever kan.. and its even difficult to invite the youngest sister to come and stay with me for 4 days... well she was ok for the first few minutes and later on she started shaking her head.. do i look like a terrible person whom can scare the kid... ( where the hell is the psychoanalyst when i most need em la?)..
and why the hell i feel so unsecured in a sudden? I do not have to make any effort to make them like me rite,, I shud be as wat I am before.. dont have to impress anyone rite.. (wahhhh i m a very confused lady today hahahah)
I mean hello akakkkk.. they r only kids... why do u have to be so worried... (but yeah I am dementedly worried.. as I have no experience with any kids before.. I dun have a kid on my own.. neither motherly instinct...).
What if they dont like me and start comparing wth the guardian from the orphanage... and why suddenyly i feel some responsibiliies has been thrown onto my shoulder where as all these while i live for myself.. never thot of anybody else.. is that a good thing or wat?....huwaaaaaaa..
this is very new to me la.. and for God sake akakkkkk.. this is only a temporary.. u r not gonna see then next week.. and probably u d get to me them in another few months... ( wahh I m feeling so cruel la pulak)...Sapa suruh ko gatai nak berangkat- angkat kan? huhuhuhu
Gila kentang punya orang hahahaha.. ( akak la tu...)
ok la.. I m trying my best to adapt to this situation.. will do my best... )even tho i m suck in cooking).. so dorang akan makan kat luar jek la hahahah..
wokeh.... poi sidai kain dulu... will update later about them..
now am gonna be a good 'mom' and wake them up.. ( uishh kalau anak akak sendiri.. dah lama dah membebel ni..)..
see.. there're hindrances that prevent me from acting like a real mom.. cos I m not sure whether they like it or not if i act like one...
waaaahhh payahhhh nyaaaa...
pergi makan nasik lemak dulu la.. kot2 dapat idea... hahahha

Belok berlengkar...

I have a 'ttm' who will always criticize of whatever term that i use in my daily conversation, especialy when i communicate with him. For eg: me: jam giilerr hari ni., kenapa ek? Him: can you please try not to use 'giler' in your conversation.. me: tampo kang bersepai karang ( dalam hati jekkkk)..
seriously, as I can be easily influence with all the terms that they include in their blogwritings, for instance, i'd somehow, will not purposely include em in my conversation.. as if im trying to expand my vocab ( la konon)..
some other words ie tak boleh blahh . ( which i do not specifically understand wat i means )or something sounds like sungguh hampehh..
I have no problem with people using those 'in' terms.. however i have him who will try to grammatically correct my so called language.. ( sangat geram di situ.. )
There was one situation, he even criticized this one radio ad. regarding faizal tahir's statement..cannot totally remmebr waht he said.. but this fella did mention something like this "Walaupun saya menyanyikan lagu rock dan berjiwa rock, tapi saya masih suka lagu tangkap lelehhh.." which brought some kind of anger to him when he listened to the dialogue.. and there he went with " apa tangkap leleh.. ada ke maksud tangkap leleh tu dalam kamus DBP bla bla bla"
Ihave to admit, I m not good in writing a proper malay.. i tend to combine watever terms that i read in a blog.. ( i have to say there's not many blog who practise proper malay writing... most of them wrote the cacamarba words in it ( like me)..
On other note, I had a tiff with him again this morning, when i gave him a direction to go to UPm while passing by the PKNS Complex.. " sampai depan sana traffic light, u belok kanan".. yes, I said belok, which is a common word for me, and i m 110% sure you can find it in any Malay-english dictionary..
But he say it was weird to hear someone said 'belok",while adding that the last time he heard the word, it was like more than 10 years ago, when he had a conversation with a Singaporean malay.
and I said belok is totally a malay word no matter what region we r from..
and then he asked, why don't u say pusing instead.. so I ansered, no pusing is only when u ask a person to pusing like a 180 degree nya action of moving.. but belok is like u do an action by turning 90 degree.. boley?
see.. i ve related it wth some mathematical or more like geographical lattitude or longitude...
still he was not satified.. he kept asking why.. andthere i was throwing him an acrid remarks.. 'that is because you dont have that many friends that u can converse with" U do not give direction to others instead u drive sendiri ikut kepala u which eventually resulted of u sesat bagak... " luckily he forgot to fuss about my bagak term heheh
i wish i can initiate another fury.. by saying gila kentang la u ni... serve him rite kan... lol
anyway.. happy holiday... and yes, I d be hibernating at home for 4 days... am fetching a niece at banting in an hour and probably take a short visit to an orphanage at sungai manggis later on..
GONG XI Fa Cai....

Tak perlu tajuk.. buat semak je

Hari ini hari Sabtu bersamaan 6 hb Februari 2010. Dan akak rasa cam nak ber-entry la plak hari ni, besides all the laziness and the tots of how much time u spent writing an entry. More than an hour ok.. walaupun untuk entry yang ciput.. serious.. tat's why akak pikir 2-3 kali kalau nak post entry kat opis.. as I feel like I can do other better things ie tulis report ke.. marking paper ke kalau kat opis..
Taaaapiii.. kalau kat rumah tu lain la kan... as i have thousands and thousand of minutes of free time kat rumah... and then I ll have another notion.. of spending my free time at home by sleeping ke.. tengok tv ke.. rather than on my laptop and updating my blog.. (cess ada jek ngko alasan yekk).. tapi serious.. i cant imagine how all these blooger tegar can write like 3-4 entries/day... and can spend like hours to upload piccas etc.. sebab akak tak bolehhh okkkkkk ( walaupun zaman muda temaja dulu.. akak adalah chatter tegar whom can spend whole day to chat wth strangers..) tapi sekarang tidak lagi... sebab akak kan dah tua.. chatting2 bagai tu sudah tidak sesuai lagi okehhh..
Another thing, blogger tegar juga suka confide watever feelings inside them into writings and blogs are such a good medium.. tapi itu la walaup blog akak ni takder pun org baca tapi akak rasa cam tak sampai hati nak curahkan segala perasaan akak kat sini.. well there are time that i feel like venting out ( cam pagi tadik.. akak rasa sangat disappointed sgt becaouse pusat KOKO didnt invite me to be come as one of the facis for the next FS.. despite of my aplication form yang akak hantar awal.. tapi dorang tak panggil akak ( and i suspect this is due to the not so good evaluation from the previous students in my group, walaupun akak yakin dorang bagi evaluation bagus, tapi sebab numbering yang cam mengkonpiuskan dorang yg eventually evlauation facis tu dorang isi number yang lain la..) im very sure of dat.. tapi itu la... (macam kes nak sedapkan hati je).. of course we cannot depend on the students' evaluation kan.. tapi betul la i m not a good faci kot.. prev sem mine was above 4.5 pre...there goes my budget for jogja trip.... huwaaaaa..
See.. i managed to let my hair down a bit gak kat sini kan....
Im bringing back works from the office... gigih nak buat kije kat rumah untuk merawat hati yang lara...
I know i lead a mundane life nowadays.. pegi balik kije during weekdays.. and no excitement during weekend due to my hibernating life style.. am too lazy to visit siblings as my bro yg sorang tu asyik la pi outstation.. the nephews r too bz ( bz main PS) to attend their lone auntie... so i d rather stay at home instead.. at least duk rumah leh gak la shed off a few calories dengan membasuh pinggan mangkuk, perati the picabot vacuuming for me by controlling the remote, sidai kain angkat kain...etc.. ( yes its stil mundane jows for a few)
I dun even go back for CNY.. cos i tot there'd be unsurprised event occur at that time,, tapiiii na n ado.. which actually add more salt to my wound..seroiously I think i m such a fialure for a lotof things.. ( but im not revealing myself la.. katerr blog is not the media for confiding.. hahhaaha)
and also I have a few procrastinating task... due to my... ermm.. lacking skill of driving... nak gi mana2 on weeeknd harus laaaaaa pikir 10 kali (or more) whether i have the gut to ask other favours from my weekday driver... tambah2 plak kat area sg chua ni agak segan untuk menapak ke depan naik cab.. and of course i know they r gonna charge me likeeee.. waaayy more than the normal fare...
Im making myself bz-ier.. tapi tu la.. dah nature manusis.. dah bz complain la plak... pas tu dah byk sangat free.. complainnn jugakkkkkk...
so akak think.. im gonna sit down silently, watching AFC kat astro, drooling over the food ( tapi nak masak malas) while typing my report... I need an extra budget for the jogja trip ni.. i need watever works that wud give me some extra income.. ( except for stripping2 and whoring)..
ok la.. dah more than 30 mins already... ciao..

Knock.. knock

Hmm.. Its Friday.. the 2nd weekend of the year..
am spending too much money for houseehold items.. which .. on 2nd tot, I think its a need to buy em.. ( due to my lazybones syndrome).. but on anthr tot.. why am i spending like i am the Bung Mukhtar's 2nd wife (oopsss) daughter? ( motif masuk nama Bung Mukhtar kat sini? hahaha)
but then ok la.. now i have time to 'swing' while watching tv ala2 menyanyi lagu ikan kaloi.. while listening to the vacuum.. doing its work without any supervisory of the house owner... well.. its gonna be very soothing to the ears from now on without me having to sweat sampai ke ketiak.. heheh
owh well...
rather be a reader than a writer..
yes i would.. if i only could... i'd surely would..

Hi 2010, adios 2009..

hmm.. so in less than 24 hours, we re going to step in the year of 2010. At tis time of the year, ie a year ago, i was still recuperating from post-cystectomy. and within less than 3 weeks, i was back on the road, as it was not a perfect time to extend my medical leave. The new semester started a week after i underwent my surgery.
So this year, while i reminescence over the events which occured exactly a year ago,( not many tragic events tho, Thank God), I m also looking forward to seeing some positive changes in my life.. well, call it as resolutions or wateva..
and at tis hour, next year, i d probably look back over the things that happened to me throughout this year.. heh
Compared to year 2008, my health condition is improvising, except for the earlier months, which i was forced to undergo the rituximab therapy (yeah, darn u Dr S.. hahaha ( motif tetiba mencarut!) It didnt even make me better instead. The only good thing that i gained from it is, i managed to put off a few extra kgs and up till now, the weight is still in good control ( still thinking of reducing a few kg perhaps, and no, it wont be under my new year resolution list tho)
anyway, on lighter note, with the year 2010 coming, I m wishing for the good healths of me , my parents and the rest of thefamily, another trip to any overseas country + perform an umrah as well, adopting one of the child in Rumah anak yatim (in the process of doing it now)..and last but not least, dimurahkan rezeki so dat i can share my earning with the ones who r less fortunate. Amin...
I dun ask much.. do i... hehehe
Welcome 2010..

HariRaya Korban

Eid-ul-adha. today.
Selamat berkorban...
Selamat pegang ekor lembu..
Make sure not to stay too close with it when it is about to be sacrificed..
Dah sah sah lembu tu jadi tunggangan kita ke syurga kan...(kalau dapat masuk syurga la), tapi mine cuma baru separuh ekor jek baru.. nak kena tunggu lagi 2-3 kali raya aji la kot hehehe..
anyway.. happy feasting.. makan secara moderate je.. *akak cuit2 jek nanti pasal keadaan kesihatan tak mengizinkan untuk membedal *.... wahhh ayat...
am leaving to KB in a few minutes... will arrive around 8 ish.. insyaalah....
will be back on tuesday morning... bye

The true meaning of eid-ul-adha

Guess wat? I m still in Kajang, tho raya haji adalah bermula esok Went to work yesterday, * ya akak adalah sangat rajin, sampai pakcik driver tego, why dun u take a leave, apasal rajin sangat?* membuatkan akak rasa cam nak ketuk jek kepala beliau, tapi as I m already in festive mood, akak biar kan saja la.
I managed to finish a few pending works, such as, submitted the buku profil frgs to sofia , and also submitted abdah's proposal (4 copies of em) to RMC thru sofia, and last but not least, completed my basic entrepeneurship ISO file in econ fac, ahaaa sempat jugak completed the MASTIC's R&D online survey.
Akak sungguh happy, dalam tempoh masa yang singkat, akak sempat menghabiskan begitu byk kije yang 'pending' walaupun keadaan fakulti yang amat sunyi, hanya dipenuhi oleh akak2 indon dan abg2 bangla cleaners saja. Owh, by the way, harapan akak untuk ambik GL for the next gynae's clinic appt adalah hampa sebab semua pegawai tadbir telah bercuti, jadi tiada siapa yg boleh sign GL akak. *memang dorang semua meriah jek bercuti sehari sebelum raya haji' tanpa memikirkan keperluan staf akademik cam akak ni yang memerlukan bantuan mereka di saat2 akhir *wahh.. am i complaining*
anyway, akak cabut around 1 lepas hantar ISO forms kat FEP and later gigih ke Alamanda untuk pegi tukar baju * eksen beli baju yg one size smaller than empunya body, hasilnya terpaksa tukar and pilih baju lain*
So esok, early in the morning , I m going back to my hometown. Hopefully sempat la pi menunggu kat kandang lembu esok. *hm,, i wonder wat's the menu for tomorrow's feast la, adakah.. roti jala dan kuzi ayam, as way my sis has hinted?*
On another story, .. my mom has a group of makcik friend which live in the rural area of Kelantan. When i said rural, I mean it'sa place where I ve never been before and i think it is miles and miles from the main road. Alkisahnya, this group of makcik, * i called them mom's best friend ' cos they ll come to my house like a few times in a year. I think they have been coming for several years already as the group of 5-6 person has eventually reduced to 2 now, as the rest of them have passed away. *I think they have started coming while i was still doing my masters, if im not mistaken and tat was like 12 yaears ago*
so this 2 makciks, they came from exteremly poor families, which u can realte with a proverb of *kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang* kekdahnya. The only time they are able to eat meat us during raya haji , can u imagine. Its just like, while we re stuffing our gut with big Mac la, beef steak bagai , any food with meat product based everytime, meat is stil considered as luxurious dish for them.
So every raya haji,they will come as early as they cud, which involves of they walked all the way from bus station to my house ( its quite far, for me, cos kalau naik kereta pun it's like a 10 min drive* and from their houses tu nak ke main road adalah juga kena berjalan kaki, and sometimes they took *kereta sewa* to go to KB.
Usually daging korba tun, bila dah sampai rumah, we just gave everything to them, cuma ambik sedikit jek untuk buat makan kat rumah, the rib, tail, meat and all the internal organ semua kita org bagi kat makcik2 tu..
last year, we had 2 portions of daging kurban and we gave it all to them as one portion of my sis's tu dia dah niat sebagai nazar. They had a feast at their kampung with our portions of daging korban, and to know that our small gift such as daging korban will bring such joy to them.. its priceless.
Yet, we always hear people complaining about the food that some restaurants served are not palatable at all, but do we realize that many of us cant even have 3 meals/ day. tu pun dah cukup baik kalau boleh makan nasik 2 kali sehari bertemankan lauk ikan bilis, telor dan kicap jek......*sebak plak tetiba*
Itu la, by knowing thse makciks, sekurang2nya boleh membuat maknusia cam akak ni insap sat * sat jek ke*. Dorang selalu gak ajak my mom pegi tengok kampung dorang yang considered daif tu.. makcik tu dah tua.. and cucu2 dia pun duk ngan dia as the father pun sekadar buat kije2 kampung jek.
akak ni kan.. kalau ada rezeki lebih , insyaalah, nak korban jek sekor lembu kat kg tu and sedekahkan semuanya.MY mom kata, kalau kita dah ada niat cam tu, insyaalah Allah permudahkan la rezeki kita tu.
owh, last ramadhan, makcik2 tu pun datang, and usually a few days after raya pun dorang datang. Masa ramadhan tu dorang selalu datang mintak zakat, dan kita org mula kenal pun sebab tu lah. masa tu my mom ada lebihan masak lemak sayur kat rumah, so she offered to the makciks tu la. Suka sangat dia org while praising my mom, sambil duk cakap.. makan lauk sedap la kita buka posa nanti.. when i listened to my mom narrating the story, i wept in silence. Imagine, lauk2 lebihan tu pun bagi mereka, adalah amat sedap dah... kalau kita tak abis.. ke tong sampah je kan...?
lately my mom, gave everything that we dont want in the house to them. Pinggan mangkuk la, periuk belanga la, my dad's used shirts.. err last time, my mom gave my brassieres ( its not used ok,akak tak pakai bcos i m not comfortable wearing em and surprisingly makcik2 tu nak ambik. * heran gak, size dorang sama ke ngan my size? hahahaah* Makcik tu agaknya main redah jek kot. well if u r in their shoes, u wont be fussy la kan. Sama macam kat drama tu, makan jek leftovers kat restoran...
As for me, knowing all these unfortunate people in this world, make me realized that, why dun we share, at least a tiny portion of wat we have with them. I mean, if we can afford buying those expensive cat's food to your pet ( for instance la), why cant u just donate at least one small packet of rice or 1 kg of sugar to those poors... kan?
and of course la, in this hustle and bustle of KL city, its very rare to find such people, but kalau Tv3 boleh jumpa all these kinda ppl and aired them in bersama mu.. apasal lak we cannot make effort to find them. at least we can start with a baby step of sadaqah our daging korban to them first...
well.. can we?

Kyoto Trip

more pics from Kyoto trip. ada lebih 300 keping from my camera.. yg dorang punya camera.. beratus2 lagi... they have put in their facebook.. akak ada lah malas utk mengeluarkan camera.. ni pun ambik sebab tourist guide tu yg offer snap kan..advantages of going with friends.. byk la gambo.. kalau sensorang.. confirm mmg takder pic..

depan palace apa ntah.. but this is the location that they shot last samurai.. alaaa yg ada tom cruise tu kan... tak masuk pun,, due to limited of time..main snap snap pas tu blah..abis.. book tourist guide with the mpv pun 2 jam jek..mana nak makan tempura lagi kann

belakang lorong haji taib.. opss... belakang rumah org.. tapi sgt bersih maaaa..

ni dalam misi mengejar geisha @ geiko .. kat kampung geisha.. its very rare to see them in the middle of the afternoon.. as they are very timid.. ada la sorang yg kita nampak.. tapi bila dorang nampak kita.. mencicit dorang lari.. tak sempat nak ambik gamba


sempat lagi posing dalam subway.. as our hotel is the last stop in the route, so chances we have seats kat dalam subway ada lah sangat cemerlang. It took 20 mins from our place to Kyoto. so amatla bosan sbb bukan stay kat city.. bilik pun kat underground, nampak concrete jek kat luar tingkap.. malam2 bunyi crickets amatlah kuat


depan hotel.. its a 4 star hotel tapi lobby is not as grand as wat we have in Malaysia.. its the quality that matters for them,,tengok.. nama hotel crested kat dinding pun tak berapa nak nampak..

Sudah terlalu lama...

*sapu sawang jap*
It's been too long... pejam celik pejam celik.. semester dah berakhir minggu lepas..
markah dah bagi... kursus dah pergi.. sekarang.. menimbun-nimbun kerja yang masih lagi 'pending' , tergendala dek kursus PTK seminggu...
masa tu la nak audit bagai.. masa tu la segala mak nenek grant bukak.. masa tu la nak isi KM portal... yang bertembung lak ngan raya haji.. * which is .. kalau tak balik raya.. kiranya akak ni cam dah kena buang negeri la*
So ambik la jugak cuti barang sehari.. *nasib raya jatuh hari jumaat*, tu pun balik di pagi raya *yang tak der la shahdu cam pagi raya aidilfitri* orang2 kat airport tu cam rilek saja pun time raya aji..
Makanya.. cam pelik laplak tetiba update blog pagi minggu... *nampak cam takder kije la sgt.. actually gas masak baru abis.. so chances nak masak utk makan tghari dah jadi 0, malas nak menapak kat kedai depan suh hantar gas'..
Assisgnments PTK yang tiga tu masih ada dalam beg.. dari jumaat lepas berhurray sebab finally abis gak kursus yang menensenkan tu *walaupun PTK dah kurikulum baru, exam dah takder.. cuma ada komponen fungsional which they have translated it as assignments *tapi tetap soalan cam exam gak* and komponen generik which include 1 kertas refleksi, public speaking ngan individual presentation.. abis jek public speaking rasa cam abis segala masalah.. ibaratnya..
So tunggu-tunggu jek la.. maybe isnin baru nak tengok balik assignment mana yang nak ditulis.. deadline submission is on 7/12. sempat la juga nak pegang ekor lembu kat kampung .. and if there is a chance.. pi Pengkalan Kubor survey high end imitation designer handbag there? hehehehe...nak beli yang original yang ribu riban cam sayang la plak nak perabiskan.. baik gunakan utk menda yang perlu ... at least high endnya imitation wont go more than 1k..
I ve been making plans for the next year's agenda.. well part of em la.. Looks like for the next sem's courses.. it's gonna be a whole lot... *bila la boleh ambik cuti sabatikal ni*
last but not least.. i m attaching a few pics taken from the previous trip to Kyoto.. the city is tremendously clean.. parit kat belakang rumah punya la jernih air dia.. cam boleh jek wat minum air dia.. the smokers over there even keep their cig ash in their own tiny container before throwing em into the dustbin when they found one.. and the elders.. whom r 60-70 yrs of age even walk faster than me.. which is amazing.. tgk dorang takder pun mengah2 naik bukit.. rileks jek...

/>posing kat atas tangga kat temple mana tah.. the only temple that we managed to go.. tak koser nak pi semua temples which scattered all over Kyoto

/>me n my master student kat depan temple.. the japanese duk tibai cakap japan ngan dia.. thinking that she's one of them

it was raining when we first arrived in Kyoto.. te next day pun ujan renyai2. so ala2 posing ngan payung while exploring the nearby area di pagi hari..

the room..quite big cos we have separate dressing room and toilet and wardrobe.. up to european standard size la jugak..
/>
Kyoto sky.. taken in JR Haruka Express on the way to KYoto.. it took 2 hrs to reach Kyoto from the airport.. somebody left his wallet kat dalam train and we only realized it masa nak turun train.. but kita org tengok jek la.. cos kyoto is the last station and the management will surely keep it bfore the person report the loss.. kat sana tak der org yg sebuk ambik kesempatan nak curi ke apa if we accidentally left our wallet in the train..

updating...

dah sekian lama tak post any new entry. Ever since i came back from Kyoto, i was way too bz, dgn classes nya, exams nya. clerical worksnya, auditsnya... co-curricular activities-nya ( which i actually earned a few extra thousands, wat belanja raya )-itu bz cari sendiri tu.
and my life is too routine.. especially bulan puasa ni.. balik 4.30, masak ala kadar, cant wait to watch wadi unung ( tteiba jadi addicted lak dgn citer tu), pas tu buka, pas tu kemas, pas tu solat, pas tu kul 10 tido, esok bangun sahor lak, mandi2 terus pi kije, pas tu tersengguk2 kat opis, kalau takder kelas pagi... and it has been going on for 20 days already di bulan puasa ni.
Keinginan nak buka posa kat luar pun semakin merudum, sbbnya .. ala makan sekadar utk mengisi perut jek kan.. but i really missed buka posa ramai2 ngan family. last weekend wnet to my bro's at KD, syok la sekejap sbb boleh buka posa ramai2 n terawih sama2.. balik Kajang semula.. pandang la dinding balik..
Btw, am going back on monday nite.. haaa gigih bercuti awal sebab dah tadak tiket flite and coming back on 29th.. i think I d be the one yg paling lama cuti raya kat kg tu hahaha..
My sis's maid larik pa ssahur a few days ago.. i pitied my mom yang dah berapa kali kena berdepan ngan maids yg buat dia sakit hati dan makan hati sampai dah jadik kurus sejak belum posa lagi..
I wish i cud ask them both datang jek kat sini.. duk goyang kaki, but being mom, mana betah duk rumah org.. with my sister's baby yg she has to take care of.. ( sbb ada org gaji dia tak harap), and being her, kalau badan penat, makan pun tak lalu.
Taktau la ak cakap apa.. tiba -tiba rasa sayu lak bila ingatkan dia.. ( wah makcik emosional tetiba...)
tah le....

Updating....

Yes, it was a month ago since i updated my blog. and it's been a month since the students came in , and akak masih terkial-kial dgn clas schedule yangtak tentu hala.. ( yes, this is the 3rd week dah) and ada satu kelas tu, i kept on changing dia nya class schedule because....the students cant make it on those slots, so akak terpaksa memerah otak so that they r able to attend for every class, bukannya attend ikut turn.. bley?
it was not my job to reschedule ke apa ke, tapi itu la.. since those meant students r from Medical faculty, in their 1st clinical year plak tu, so their supervisor suka ati jek la panggil dorang anytime even tho those slots are already scheduled for my class..
tapi ntah la.. malas nak ckp lagi... the course pun , it's not from the fac, in fact it's from other fac. ikut ati malas rasanya nak ajar, howeversince i was told to teach, so .. akak ajar la.. not my niche area pun....
other than that, akak ok sajork. I gotta teach and coordinate an elective course, supervise 5 undergrad students for their final year project, and having this huge problem of terminating an iranian post doc who hasnt performed at all. This makcik, has the gut to go to the top people in this university, trying to appeal as she 's the innocent party and i was the bad one who can simply terminate her. After all the chaos that she has created, including the soxhlet extractor that she claimed she accidentally broke it, I finally decided that it has to be ended. and terminating her, is the best solution ( even tho giving 3 montsh prior notice wont give any benefit to the univ), as she 'd simply get 3 montsh alary withour doing anything when she's known that she's been terminated.
Akak pun malas nak berkata apa lagi.. the onlything that I knew is she's one big liar... harap muka jek cun tapi pembohong besar... i shudnt have taken her in the 1st place..
on happier note... despite the hectic schedule and all, I managed to have a sorta break cum overseas conference trip again. Its the time of the year anyway.
last year I managed to go to Athens, andthe year before to Austria, and before that to Washington, this year, despite the H1N1 pandemic, i have set my mind to proceed for the Kyoto trip which i d be leaving this weekend. me and 4 other post grad students from my fac. so, the good thing i wont be alone this time
well moshi moshi Kyoto.....

P.S getting back to work..

Time and tides wait for no man

How time flies. We are at the end of June already. feels like yesterday, I went back to hometown, gigih makan dan gigih tempah baju raya nanti.. and it was only a few weeks ago...
Ever since i came back.. akak was extremely occupied, ngan TOTs which were held at Cyberview lodge and Marriot Putrajaya, gigih lagi makan makan dan makan.. and tis afternoon i m heading to Seri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang for a 2 days retreat cum department workshop. ( makan lagi tu kan.... )
The new students are registering tis wkdn and the old ones will be coming back next week.. After tis, I wont have any more free time for myself...
Somehow, I was wondering, wat have i been doing for the past 2 months, seems like i never managed to 'produce' anything, or to complete anything. it was half way done.. ( as usual), and suddenly i feel so disappointed to myself.
Why cant i be productive like others. ( who can publish their articles more than 10, who can do other thi9ngs like putting their final touch to their research, or gaining anothr few grants for the research) . Why cant i just be like that?
Its not that i spend lotsa time 'vaining' on my FB ( yg cam seminggu skali pun malas der aku nak update) or complaining how i ve been doing in my blog and waiting for ppl to comment... I suppose i ddidnt spend too much time on internet btw, but where are all the hours gone..
Why cant i manage my time like others? Tim kai.. Pour quoi...?
On not so serious note...
I think i m doing just fine ( pulak)
except for the imaginary curtains that r supposd to be hanged on the windows at my abode.. and some tiny items that i keep on forgetting to purchase...
I think I d be fine...
not to forget, except for a bifollicle cysts which have decided to appaear again in my ovary...
I think I m gonna be just fine for the next 10 years...

Mode menghapdet ala kadarrr

Waduhhh.. ampun... bersawang banget ini belog... kapan empunya belog mahu updetkann? ( oii update kot indon apa ekk)...( tetiba mode ngomong indon sebab satu hari akak duk google citer si manohara tu, ketinggalan jaman upanya nona manis neh ( akak le tuhh.. cet pasann)...
.............
..........
ok back to my old self... i was not in the working mood previously. besides, i have these pain just below my abdomen again. Not sure whether the endometriosis has struck back, or is it an infection at my urethra.. i m opting for the latter...or if worst come to worst, i suspect it's my kidney... well i dunnola, esok pi jumpa my rheumy, i ll tell him abt it, ( or risking myself of being admitted once i told him my prob, as i ll be on leave for a week at my hometown.... akak pasrah aje lahhh)
This is my last day of puasa ganti. suker sukerr... tho i m still worried abt this continuous pain.. it made me me uncomfortable, well not to the extent of me meraung2 bagai like i did when i had series of renal colic last time..
Uwahhh sangat penat.. ( tetiba....)

...... ( tgh tahan sakit...)


breathe in.. breathe out.. akak....
.........



..............

anyway on happier note...
I wud be in KB from 5th to 12th... the first 2 days will be allocated for a visit to HKB and HUSM, visiting my students who'r doing the practicals there...
the rest, hmmm... makan tido makan tido... owhh.. tak lupa.. paying a visit to the duty free shops in rantau Panjang... *nak beli corelle.. nak beli corelle...* tetiba...
Promised my eldest sis to pay a visit to her new house in Tanah Merah.. owh btw big bro will be back too along wth the family.
...... Hish.. tetiba tulis itinerary ni.. pasalll?

Well.. last but not least ( motif tetiba ilang mode nak berblog).. I d be back after one week... with a big grin on my face.... ( sebab dah lama tak balik kg... sebab... gua sebenarnya dah letih duk KL nih...... -(mode tersampuk)..and (mode insaf)-- please dun grumble.. emangnya kamu itu apa?
.....

.....
(pengsan)..
Ciao..

and he is my idol now..

I was at Eagle Ranch Resort last weekend, from friday to sunday, attended a "compulsory" course/program for the lecturers who are less or 5 yrs in service. We did not hold any outdoor activities or any teambuilding games as wat Eagle Ranch is famous for, It is a place for adventurous people, not for me who is unable to do any physical activities.
So since it was my first time there. I was hoping that at least i wil have some enjoyable moments over there with some nice sceneries to feast my eyes with.. or the sounds of birds n eagles chirped/howled will be a soothe to my ears.
Well, it was not a nice start, i have to say. First, well.. they put me in a 'kampung house' on the 2nd floor and to go there, i have to walk a bit far, crossing a man made bridge and climbed a flight of stairs before reached the destination. I sweated all the way back to the registration place , as i have decided to ask them to change my abode to the nearest one and the most important thing, the one that is on the ground level. Yes, i managed to change it.
The hall is located far from our abodes, and since the day is always sunny with extreme heat and the sun block that i applied to my face was not that strong to block the uv rays penetrated directly to my skin, i sweated again when i went to n fro.
Frankly speaking it was not a suitable place to hold this kind'f programme. the food wasnt tat tasty as well.
However the best thing came outta this programme, we had the best lectures from the great motivators. One of the spekaers, I have decided that he;s gonna be my idol from now on. Forget Tun Mahathir, Jason Mraz or Britney Spears(oopss) for the time being..
he 's the one who managed to make my eyes watery for a couple of times during his speech, and i was so engrossed with his talk that i forgot to close my mouth and blink for 2hours and 45 minutes. yes, it was such a good talk, while he reminiscense over his past life, the past gaiety, my mind was automatically tried to relate things that somehow felt so similar with the one he narrated.. I tried to not to burst into tears.. It was like something has awaken up.. the one that has been put into dormant for such a long time.. as i tried to ignore it all these while..
maybe this is wat i need.. a positive energy surrounding me, people who produced this positive energy, the one who r not going to demoted us...
after all.. its life in your years that matter.. not the other way around..
..and I finally understood about it..
Thank you Pak Sheikh..

Restless.. apakah..( and pissed off)

owh well.. yes i am.. as restless as ever.. thinking about the unreturned proposal of mine.. been calling Sofia for the past few days, and i m dementedly worried.. how come tbey havent returned my proposal yet.. everybody seems to have returned the amended copy to the 2nd floor and here I am.. still waiting like a fool.. if i were able to get the name of the evaluator.. mati belasah aku kije kan ( grrr..)
Owh.. breathe in.. breathe out CC...
on lighter note.. there were a few events, or should i say tragic events happened during the long weekend.
My bro's Camry was stolen during his overnite stay at Hotel cikai Grand View in ipoh last saturday. yes.. the reason I shud hate Ipoh and its people especially Grand View Cikai hotel from now on ( wah tetiba emo.. CC)..
They didnt do anything abt it.. even tho the parking was under the hotel's authority.. siap cakap lagi... 'kenapa tak parking kat dalam pagar" yes.. stupid q from the hotel people.. Dah memang parking gilaswine penuh ( haaa kan aku dah mencarut), u r supposed to make an effort to remind the people who occupy yr darn hotel abt this rite? now dah ada kereta yg hilang, baru cakap.. ha'a memang kat situ dah ada kereta yg hilang before ni.. WTF?
Apasal aku emo padahal tu bukan kereta aku? in fact it'was the company's car? Abg aku pun tak se-emo aku...
I care becos of the car plate.. it was DBD311.. susah payah abg aku tender menender nak dapat no tu.. alih2 ilang.. and he suspected the hotel ppl tu subahat sama... well he has the feeling.. and i am an empath... bley?
itu pasal akak emo.. okehh...
Enuff about that... ( dah.. dah takder peluang aku nak naik camry abg aku... sedeyyy)

ok lah.... tak ilang lagi emo akak nih.. kalau citer pasal tu.. especially it happened in ipoh... ishh... sapa2 org ipoh tak pasal2 kena ngan aku nih...
eh daaaaaaa...