A quick update.

before i crashed to bed... somehow i think even a quick update will actually beneficial to me in the future... as for example, i managed to recall what had really happened before i went sick last year... i tot i did not get any symptoms,, but yes.. there were the symptoms but i was too ignorant at that time to seek for any help ( thinking i can always be a superwoman) hehh! 1. I sent off the maid on 1st May.. it was a victory to me to be free from her.. hahahha 2. I am able to walk faster nowadays... thank you Allah.. 3. They..ethem you know who.. will be going off for a long holiday in France this thursday... and i m so green with jealousy.. 4. and when they came back, my bro will be working in Bahrain for a few years.. will bring the family along... ookk... the good side is..i m able to visit them probably next year..who knows.. 5. I think i m becoming more productive lately..oh yes.. to quote.. keberkatan dalam bekerja.. eh 6. I still feel how lucky I am to get to breathe the same air , until now..GOD knows better what HE has for me 7. I can walk faster now,, with some limping.. ( eh i ve listed this already) 8. I m grateful for the life HE gives me.. not able to describe with words 9. I love myself LOL 10. Now, I can go to bed peacefully... will update again in 2 months time hahahah

Of some health matters..

I just found out that my BIL"s sister whom in the same age as me, had breast cancer. When my sister broke the news, I feel like... If i were in her shoes rite now... what is the first thought that should be lingered in my mind at that time.. I have been put into the same test by HIM a year ago. And now, its her turn. My BIL has lost his both parents a few years ago. as he is the eldest of 7 siblings, most of the worries would be burdened onto his shoulder. They are very close to each other.. With this sudden news, i guess they will all be brokenhearted. I will pray for her recovery. She is supposed to undergo a mastectomy cum reconstructive surgery today. My prayers will be with her ....

10 interesting things (not) about me.. so far

1. feel like walloping amanda brownies kukus ( bandung mari) for these past few days. Going to Bandung just to purchase this is totally outta mind. Baking it by my self? Hmm i do not have the proper baking utensils, boleh? 2. They have rejected my manuscript, again. Disappointed for the umpteenth times. 3. Elder sibling has refused to bring me along to his next-holiday trip. I am still on silent-mode with him due to this.. hehehe 4. Just found out that its been ages since I last watched Anuar Zain singing on tv..am really tempted to get a ticket for his incoming Secretary week performance 5. Due to point (3),am able to get a new tote bag, purchased by SIL in France. Well, if i weren't able to go there by myself, its not worthy to ask the elder sibling to get me the bag when he goes there during his holiday-trip. Remember, i m still in a bitter mode. Alas, a new tote bag, yeay! 6. I put off anther kg since I came back to work. Overall, I'm still lighter by a few kgs compared to the time before i was hospitalized 7. I m thinking of substituting the present maid with the new one. Hopefully the incoming one will have a good attitude and well mannered. 8. A lot of things happened in the department lately.. conflicts amongst staffs etc. 9. Due to lots free time during weekends, i have subscribed with various channels in astro beyond. still feel bored afterwards duh! 10. Am determining to get my 12 papers published this year. 3 more papers to go! waiting for another 7 to get accepted. *sighing*

Sementara akak tgh bersantai -santai di petang minggu ni.. akak ingin ceritakan sebuah kisah sedih yang berlaku terhadap akak semenjak 2 menjak akak balik kerja ni... Yang sebenonya benda ni semacam dah menjadi duri dalam daging , taknak diingat , teringat-ingat, makin taknak diingat makin kuat perasaan itu waima akak selalu lah jugak menginsafi diri ini , ye lah baru baik sakit kan, haaaruslahh memusahabahkan diri tapi itu la, akak anggap jek ini satu lagi ujian yang Tuhan beri , untuk menduga sejauh mana akak mampu bertahan secara mental ( mode insaf(. Ye lah.. selama ni akak dijui dengan kesakitan fizikal dan alhamdulillah akak mampu menghadapinya.. tapi ini dugaan yang datang dari kawan baik (used to) sekarang pegi mamP** la.. ( baru jek cakap nak musahabah diri kan.. astaghafirullah.. mode kembali insap)
cakap len kali la... cam lapar .. wajib kena pi masak ni.. karang ada yg hypo dulu kang....

Its the trendy "D' in name-thingy

Almost a decade ago, there's a drama swasta on tv with Elly Mazlein starred in it and Ako Mustafa as the hero. I hardly remember the story, but I do remember Ako Mustapha's character as Dr Rayyan. Later, lotsa mommies name their sons as Rayyan. Rayyan Iskandar or Rayyan Hariz (that is my sister's second son, and he named her son, Rayyan before the beginning of the drama.
talk about 'trendy' names. Later, there are too many gals are named as Batrisya or Qistina. That was the 'in' names at that time. And now, the "D' names started to conquer . Well, Daniel or Danish was the 'in' names a few years ago. And then, someone I know, named her 3sons as Dayyan, Darwish and Darwood.. How about that? and later my sister followed suit. She named her 3 sons as Daniel, Dani and the latest one, Dariss. Those are kewl names, dude! LOL I guess most of the "D" names are all taken. I guess those are sophisticated names for boys. Later, there will be many more little boys named with an initial D. Albeit, those names have their meaning in arabic. Ustaz Don Daniyal for instance. Isn't that a kewl name as well? hehehe
On another note, I m getting better each day. I have stopped using my wheel chair and utilized my cane instead . Instead of leaving all your things scattered all over the floor, I left my wheelchair everywhere hahaha. In fact i asked my maid not to move it, which is in front of the tv.
am addicted with Korean drama, Ojakgyo brothers these days.
owh.. thats all. Tata peepss

What make cupcakes so heavenly..

Well, its nothing to do with this post tho.. its a quote that i heard a few minutes ago from Rachel Alleb: bake in astro. Frankly speaking, i am not so into pastries, especially sweet ones.. Cupcakes, red velvet albeit any cakes/cheese cakes, cookies are never my forte..Chocolate cakes is a no no too.. whenever my sis baked those during hariraya, i never feel like tasting it... somehow those sweet cakes would not adapt with my 'weird' taste bud tho. hehehe... so if people are crazy with the so 'in' red velvet la,or macaroon la, or cup cakes la, i d opt for those traditional ones like 'sponge' cake. not sure what others call, maybe kek sarang semut kot, the ones which do not use margarine/butter inside. That was one traditional cake, because I used to eat it (at that time, i did no like the taste) many many years ago, when my late grandma was still alive. Nowadays, kek tu ada balk kan.. and it is quite expensive tho from what my mom said, the ingredients to bake it is so cheap..( but being me, I d never made an attempt to learn baking hahaha. Owh, what's the use of learning when u d never feel like eating it.. It'd be such a waste of time and energy mahhh..
There is another traditional cake that I love but people rarely bake it nowadays. Not sure what the KLians call it but me, the kelantanese name it as kuih ambong or apom. That is considered a hard work if u do have a suitable cooking tools, macam the way we make kuih baulu.. It neither needs any butter.. all u have to do is whip the egg with sugar till it becomes so fluffy. add a tablespoon of vanilla essence, add some artificial coloring as well and steam it. Then you will get one fluff among yg sangat sedap dan tidak muak langsung. When i was little, my mom used to bake it during hariraya, and the only cake that mom baked during that time is marble cake. I still love marble cake, in fact I love all plain cakes, the same thing goes to cookies. i still crave for plain raya cookies, yang kita tak bubuh apa2 except for some custard , tepung gandum and some colorings. However, it'd difficult to find em during present raya as people are likely to serve fashionable cookies cam almond london la, mama kerrys la , just naming a few.
I am not into cheese cakes either hahaha. anyway, I can have tiramisu in small portions .. i m suffering from cheesy-syndrome.. once i ate 2 pieces of cheese cakes and that made me a diarhheal one.. hahahaha.. imagine u r not able to stand yr nature call in the middle of yr car trip and to find a decent toilet during the trip was a torturous one... I ve never eaten big portions of cheese cakes afterwards ..
On another store, Beto Kusyairi is so 'in' nowadays. We can watch him on tv like a few times a week. He starred in every drama swasta/cerekarama nowadays. in every channel too..owh he's not a hunk like adyputra or aaron aziz, but he has the talent of making his characters come to live. such a talented actor, he is..love to watch him on tv :). he was in last nite cerekarama as well with Nora Danish. I seldom watch tv at nite tho...but it will be an exception when they put my favorites in the drama.. that is something that i d not be able to resist.. but then it'd be rare of me to stay up till midnite.. normally, after 10 i am already safe and soundly asleep
okk.. end of story.. till next time peeps :)

A year ago...

On this very day, a year ago. It brought me the sad memorabilia of me , bedridden for almost 6 months on the hospital bed. I never went into detail on that. In fact i wanted to abolish the memories during my stay there. It was full with misery. At times I woke up congratulating myself for being able to live for another day. My mind was blank most of the time. I sometimes forgot the day. Once, a colleague came to visit me, and when i asked her what day it is, she burst into tears. I never knew that i was in the most pathetic state till she make me realized it.
and yet, year later... Thanks to HIM. for giving me another chance to live.. i had this will, that i d be able to work again , with wheelchair or not before a year after the incident. Thanks to HIM, as HE has fulfilled my wish.
2. Do you know that the place that i feel so at ease today is a hospital? I do not feel isolated whenever i wheeled, as i could see that there are ppl who are less fortunate than me.. i see bald kids who just underwent their chemo.. old people who r totally relying on the children.... very sick forlorn people...and with that I feel that i am not that unlucky.. Of course I would not be able to compare myself with strong healthy people..but I d be on par with those unfortunate. I like the idea tho..
Even of lates, getting tired of reading ppl's normal diaries, I d turn to those who r unfortunate. the cancer survivors, the spinal injury victims, the not so straight guys )( I do not know why they should be put under the same less fortunate category).. but with that, I am so so so very grateful that no matter how worsen my condition is... I am still behold to my faith..and I d never want to be the sinner, who will initiate HIS anger... Oh the Al Mighty..U ve made me went thru the tests, as YOU knew that I am able to go thru them...
Seriously, I d never want to go down memory lane, If I could, I d bury all these memories deep inside and just remember only the happiest things.. but who am I to avoid this... i m just hoping that on this very day next year, I m already able to lead a normal life without having to rely on anyone.. really missed travel alone and do things all by myself...

The Maid

am feeling very tired today. I dun even have strength to 'bak' at the maid. I let her cook by herself. Just pray to God that she will not poison me with her dish ekekeke.
I ve been 'leaking' at home for 4 days. Dun feel like visiting any of my siblings. I cook whenever I feel too with the help of Indi, the maid. But being a 'practical'person, there were always things that i wasn't satisfied with her. Mom said, she doesn't understand that well. I reckon, after being in Malaysia fr 6 months, there are certain things that she may pick up, for sure. Sometimes i think that i ve committed sins a lot ever since she has become my maid. I d easily get angry. and I am too tired to bark at her every time. nevertheless if i spoke to her in a normal voice, this dud bring more disaster. Oh God, what shall I do.. I am praying very hard that I d be able to walk by myself quickly and dun need to rely on any person. I just wanted my life back, my old life where i lead it by my won self.. freely. Gosh... this maid tangy rally getting on my nerves. In fact think it has tested my patience to the max.
Enuff about it.. not to tell she, the maid has run around at the faculty with barefoot! I ve ben warning her when she did for the first time , and yet she did it again, every time when she had the chance, when she tot i d never realize it... God... i was like dumbfounded.... betul tak makan saman puny budak..
And there war elike many things that she did which made me feel like strangling her.. i ve been stalking the agent to replace another maid, yet... the agent said, she's now out of stock.. boleyy? Pakkal la auk day mintak yg a bit older when i first demanded a maid, tapi di baginya jugak yg muda yg ala 'nymphomaniac". That i will tell in another entry if i feel like it. That's the reason why i dislike her so much but mom said i have to bear it because rite now i am totally relying on her. What if she feels like abandoning me one day. then , my mom said " You will not be able to work anymore"..
yeah yeah... so i will have to bear with her no matter what. *sighing*
I caught her praying without doa kunnt during subuh prayer, and when i asked her whether she forget something, she said no. "What about yr do a kunut" I asked her. "Udahh" she said. There's one thing that i detest her, she never confessed even tho she did it and she likes to blame other person rather than admitting she did it.. and that is another story...hehehe
As for the time being, I asked her to cook for herself when ever she's starving. She only cooked rice and ate it with a pinch of salt, bley? no side dishes. Tho there are fish and meat and veges in the fridge. I told her, its up to u. If I want to eat, I ll cook by myself but dun ever have the tot of me not giving her any food to eat. If she's lazy then she is. Parahhh..
I just hope i won't get any high Bp whenever i m with her.. it's so stressful to think of anyone else when u have yrself to take care of.. she doesn't give much help tho.. and now i think i understand how some ppl are able to abuse their maids. maybe if they have the maids with the similar attitude of mine, they'd surely can't stand it.. but as a moslem who behold to her faith, I d never do things like that... she'd just kill me eventually hahahaha

Things that will make u smile

Sometimes... there are things that u may take for granted...
things that for an unknown reason will make u smile instantly.. sincerely..
I always have things for those...
like...
when you saw a group of young daddies chatting at the playground...
..or seeing some toddlers playing all by themselves...
those simple things will actually make u smile...without u realizing it

welcome 2012

Its the 3rd day of the year 2012. yeay! i m a bit excited as i m going back to KL this friday. plan to start working again, with or without wheel chair.. hehehe. The year 2011, has really come to an end. If i could turn back time, i wish id never gone thru that year. It brought such a tragic memory to me. I was bedridden for 5 months. I cried almost everyday during that period when the nurses started dressing my wound. t was a hugeee wound. U can see the muscles and the bone jutted out and the unhealed flesh which gave such a sore sight to everyone's eyes. I was not able to neither drink or eat for months. the smell of any food will make me nauseated. I lost so many weight that i thot i am less than 35 kg at that time. when they started implanting the skin to cover the wound, i had another problem on the donor site. dee to the pressure sore, i had blisters on both my calves. the right one became worst as it formed a hole with some pus inside. and now, the foot is still sensitive from the previous wound. my temperature had more than oct raised up to 40 degree. They didn't give me any pills as paracetamol may worsen my liver state. so i was left with the hypothermic condition more tan once. they gave me lots types of antibiotic from the weakest to the strongest that made me suffer a lot. the whole skin changed to darker color and i was darker than dayang senandung at one time. i was admitted to ICU a few times as well. up to the extent that i tot its the time that I shut give up. I did. I even met each member of my family asking for forgiveness. I read my last wish to my mom. I confessed of my true love to all of my family members. I was such in a sorry state. even tho i know i have lots to repent, but i just wished i t'd come to an end. every time my mom came to see me, she wept into tears till one day i told her she should stop weeping. GOd knows my emotion at that time. It was such memorable incidence.
But then when it was destined that it was not my time to die yet, where as i read and saw many people beside me died without any further causes. I was the one who was bedridden for 5 months and next to my bed, a 26 years old girl just died after admitted for not more than an hour. I should be grateful , no.. i am very grateful as Allah still gives me the chance to repent, to correct what was wrong, to become a much better person and the top of all not to forget HIM. to remind me that anything in this world is temporary. without His blessings, we are nothing. to make me realize that money is not everything ( thou it is still somewhat important,).
own well, we ll just see then. I intend to make this year the most fruitful one. I have no resolution, if i were to overcome another bigger test, i d be 'redha' as usual. after all we re seeking for the happiness during the day after, whats with the one in this world, it is never comparable to the one that we ll be facing soon.

Back...

Can you believe it? Its been almost a year since i last posted . Yes.. i was very very ill for the past few months. still, i am now recuperating at home. Too many things to tell, yet, I just wish this year 2011 will just end. God has given me one more chance to become a better person ( and I tot i wasn't able to survive last time). I have yet learned to walk again, still not able to stand up all by myself. been on wheel chair for the past 6 months. But I have this strongest will to start my life again and start working, Insyaallah. AS what my bro told everyone who visited me at the hospital, She is one strong woman.. she always is...

Its neither URTV nor MANGGA magazine..okay!

no. i am still not well, in fact i was a bit feverish this afternoon, my whole muscles were aching as i just climbed up a hilly road to attend a meeting at mtdc building in the morning. then in the meeting i had to delay my nature call bcos i was in the middle of the meeting, and i was located at the furthest seat from the exit door..
and due to the reasons above, i develop a stiff muscle at the lower limb, and due to the pain, my fever developed much earlier today..yesterday, i had it after maghrib and it prolonged till 12 am..
and with this ailment,which i tot it was another uti, I feel like strangling those people who intentionally ( i suppose) made my application procedure undergoes thru fussy process.
Owh before that, i came back early this afternoon, about 3.30 as i felt i couldn't get any work done with my feverish condition. some more it was very difficult for me to get up with this aching muscles...
yet, rite after i reached home, popped up one red pill and another white tablet, there i was better in a record time. had a cold shower, i was sweating alredy. Good... as this is the 1st day the sun shines from morning to noon, i did a laundry and i sweated again while hanging the laundry.. sukaaaaa..
anyway back to my application form... ok i seldom whine regarding the management here, but when they tried to make it difficult in approving my aplication by requesting items that were not in their check list ( i tried to fulfil all the items required), that will be wayyyyyy too cruel then. Just , when the top management were advising us to spend the money ( which is a lot) allocated for those particular activities, and when we tried to apply, they will make it harder for us to get it. I mean, why in the first place YOU told us that we can just apply, any time in any condition and later rejected us, in an uncruel way? WHYYY? TIM KAIIIII? POUR QUOIIII? ( see kan akak dah meroyan)..
and by the way, to whom it may concern, a scientific journal can be named in wahtever names, whether it can be named a DOT MAGAZINE, even tho it is not a magazine , unlike the entertainment magazine cam ( majalah URTV tu), and yet u wer3e so confident to reject the paper which has been published already in the magazine and told me that, a magazine is not a scientific journal, and we cannot accept it "although dah sah sah aku dah printed the whole manuscript, sent it out to you, and there was some info given on that particular cjeck list.... " tapi tetapppp ko nak menafikannya.. ( which i have no idea malaon mana yang cannot differentiate a scientific journal from a non scientific magazine? The name itself wont potray the whole concept of the journal, jibraunnnnn wehhh!
I replied the email tho, stating and even gave the website address of the journal.

Fine, if u do not want to approve my application, lantakkkkkkkkkkk. Its just i have this slightest notion of improvising my this year KPI jekkk...I will be going alone anyway, so it wont be abusiness trip with leisure...If i wont get this fund, tak payah pegii sudahhhhh!
Seriously , in way i feel so disappointed with either the rules or (hidden)procedures practised in this university. Sometimes it was the top management people or maybe the staff under them who make it difficult. Yet, what u demand from us ( these marhain people) are impossible to be achieved. Can u at least practise the give and take rather than taking from us everytime..?
Hangat hati betul laaaaa...

in random.. (la sangat)

Syukurlah hari ini sudah hari jumaat.. or dengan kata2 omputeh.. TGIF ahakk..
I have not been well for the past few days.. actually it started since the thaipusam day.. my resolution of having my kitchen and balcony floors scrubbed was not fulfilled.. I was too sick to do all the house chores.. i had a n excruciatingly painful stomach.. and a day before i had a roti canai sardin (which i thot i shud blame on this roti canai, fir initiating my stomach colic)..The pain is somehow extraordinary, not like a normal typical stomach pain.. On 2nd tot, it might due to UTI or endometriosis.. I duuno.. I m having another apointment at Rheumy clinic rite after CNY and another one at O&G. in the end of february.. If i could not bear pain till then, I d seek for help in the nearby clinic...( which i think it'd be impossible as I do have a very high pain treshold, unless akak tak meriau terjaga tengah2 malam due to the colic, takder la nak pegi emergency begging for an i.m kakakaka..
I am not going back for CNY. I ll spend 4 days of the festive holiday in Kajang or perhaps KD or Putra Height.. it depends on how well i am.. if i were not in the bestest state, alamaknya terbongkang kat Kajang jek la.. seriously, i dun feel like memerap kat rumah org when i m in my sorry state..
I d be extra bz when February comes.. A bit worried of my deteriorated health... as I dun wanna miss any of the February events.. tapi mampukah akak? huhuhuhu
I ve just been informed that the students will have a very long semester holiday which consists of 4 long months. They will only come in September after Eidul Fitri as KPT has set the beginning of the new semester which will be tallied with europe/uk summer hols.. owhh is that a good news? ntah le akak pun taktau..sebab there wont be anymore sem break and the students esp the final year wil be rushing for their project..
eh akak nak chalo dulu.. nak pi beryls, beli chocolate.. ada CNY sale kat kilang dia kat Sri kembangan till 31st...
ciao

Like mother like daughter?

Ehemm.. Please give a loud applause to akak for successfully updating this blog within one week.. lol..so let me waste an hour of my time here to ramble over things that had happened over the week...in numbering form ye kengkawan...
1. My niece had her 2nd operation within 6 months, last friday. Akak got a call from mom last wednesday, informing the news. tup tup called my sister, dia cakap esok dah nak kena operate lagik.. terkejut badaks akak ok.. i had one 2 years ago, and the memory of being pushed over to OT is still clear in my mind.. Not to mention of how they stuck a device thru my nose and this device will go deeper thru the nostril till it reaches the wall of my trachea.. and suddenly i was like reaching out for the air.. giler akak rasa cam nak putus nyawa time tu... b4 i really passed out.. ( ermm rasanya dah 'publish' kot this entry previously...), but the experience i tell u, it was once in a lifetime as I am not able to receive a normal GA...
owh back to my niece's story, she's doing well now. I managed to visit her on sunday, and she was still in pain and groggy due to the post-anaesthesia effect. She's only 20 and i really salute her for being able to go thru 2 operations within 6 months.. ko ada?
2. Another niece of mine ( yes i have many nieces, okay) has decided to put an end to her study, after returning to the university 2 weeks ago.. She took a semester leave last semester, after she went there also for 2 weeks.. ( kira 2 minggu tu dia punya treshold la kot kakakak). At that time, she was down with fever, like everyone was not kan..? and decided to take a semester's leave... unfortunately , she's not a strong willed person like her auntie. so she returned to UiTM this semester, at the end of December, and not less than 2 weeks, she's now back at her home.. my eldest sister, which is not very close to me because she was upbrought by my late grandma, which was not very close to me either, has actually backed up her eldest, by saying.. " takpe la, bukan 6 ni, kita mintak pergi UiTM Machang pulak", AS IF, UiTM tu dia yang punyaa... lol...
so iritating la my sister tu,, and my niece tu... is so hardheaded that she never listen to her aunties, yet listen to her 'hampeh' best friend. (Ithink i ve already rambled regarding this..).
My dad is so frustrated, yet he didnt mutter a word when Kak Na ( my eldest sister) broke the news. yet Kak Na was so darn confident thinking that her daughter will be admitted to UiTM with the new course this time.
I kept thinking of how my 2nieces differed so much. One who is now in the hospital , is flying to Australia next month. She 's forced to take a semester's leave last time because she was undergone the 1st operation, when she was about to register At UQ last July, and just about she's going to register back this coming february, she was diagnosed with another lump in her uterus. Despite of her current condition, she's still keen to go there on time, and I hope she'll be able to recuperate in a few weeks time. On the other hand, the eldest sis's daughter, has all the opportunities, yet she tend to waste it.. and thinks that every opportunity will be given right infront'f her face every time face.. fat chance la kan.. as u might be 1st time lucky but the other time, only God knows..
My bro called me last nite, just to hear me give some comments... Sangat la lucu abg akak tu tau, as when i finished rambling thru the phone, he said, "thanks for the komentar" apakah?.... kakkakakaa
I dunno la, maybe its in my blood... I have the talent of u know, keeping inside wats in my mind, and then will vommit it out especially when people start asking.. However tis will only occur to selected people only such as to my siblings and family, my colleagues and good friends. Tak kuasa akak nak berkomentar bagai kat semua orang..
2. I am so happy that this thursday is a public holiday.. yippeeee.. everytime when i wake up from the bed, i wish i can be at home , not that I am not keen to go to work.. , as when i have 2 days during weeekend, i wish that i could be at work instead..see akak adalah sorang yg tidak tetap pendirian hokeyyy..but i plan to go scrub my balcony and the kitchen floor this thursday.. keep on procrastinating the task.. (as if I were so bz during the weekend rite, padahalnya terbongkang depan tv jek kekdahnya kakkakakaa). But u need to have the mood to do the housechores rite.. ( and a proper clothes somemore) as akak biasanya duk sensorang kat rumah, dan kalau takder keinginan nak menyidai kain kat balkoni, i'd be in my skimpiest ever( not in the sense of wearing 2 piece bikini la people, but i ll have my seluar katok on with the tshirt senteng.. (sebijik macam bibik indon tu kakakaka)
3. I had 2 bouts of simpul biawak last nite when i was sleeping.. very double painful as the first one was on my right foot and 6 minutes before my alarm rings, I had another one at the left ... tapi tetap sambung tido till the alarms really rung... of course akak tau la akak kurang calcium.. tapi sekarang dalam progress to take more calcium... ( cant afford to take the calcium tablets yg besar gedabakk tu)
4. I am still feeling disappointed at Kak Na's daughter. My mom suggests that I should narrate my story when i was sick ( all the time) and how i managed to go thru all these , so she ( the niece) eventually will realise how precious her life is, withouthaving to go thru I ve experienced, yet she simply wasted her life just like that when Allah has given her a good health. (tapi akak rasa org yg macam ni takkan sedar sampai Allah tarik balik segala pemberiannya tu kan? Somemore, she ll think that she can totally rely on the parent for life,, Doesnt she has her own life to think about, in the near future? as if the parent will protect her for 100 years, macam la mak bapak ko tu takkan mati kan? Seriously, for a 19 years old girl, she 's still have a mentality of 6 yrs old kid.. ( Hah ambik ko, makcik ko telah mengutuk secara halus kakakaka).. and I didnt agree at all with Kak Na. She's too darn protective which at times, stupidity has becometh her.. Irrational and thinks what she did to her daughter is the best.. even my dad pun malas dah nak layan... he said, it was easier dealing with his children last time, compared to the current grandchildren... Bila my father datang, tau la plak, sembunyi dalam bilik, takut my dad marah.. berkepit celah ketiak mak takpe la plak.. Ikut hati aku sekehh jekkkkk... ishhhh (marah mode is on)
4. ok lah sekian sahaja pelampiasan perasaan tidak puas hati buat masa ini terhadap adik beradik sendiri... I had enuff of rambling this matter priorly to the close people around me.. and it's still not enuff that I need to let it out in the blog... kakakakaka...
Bye

Pagi yang panjang..

...disebabkan traffic jam yg ala2 ular dipalu dah... kuar pukul 7.20 pagi sampai kul 8.40 pagi... di saat kalau traffic smooth, akak boleh sampai dalam 10 minit sajork... ni kalau mengikut masa, akak dah boleh sampai Kota Damansara, sempat ambik sos ABC yang akak kirim kat bibik mistiah lagik.. nih idok le.. hatta, 1 jam 20 minit itu di manafaatkan dengan mengutuk-ngutuk pemandu yang memandu melintang kalang.. tetiba decide nak ambik lane yg paling kiri semedang sedangkan saat itudia berada di lane yang paling kanan sekali... iya lah.. di ssat traffic jam tu la ko baru ingat yg ko kena ambik exit lane menghala ke KL la, ke Monggolia la kan? ended up makin menjadi2 la massive jam yang sampai post ni ditulis pun akak still taktahu apa kah punca kejadian... takder accident.. ada la kereta rosak tapi tu mungkin sbb berada di jalan terlalu lama kot.. penat tau.. (walaupun akak takdrive hehehee).. nasib takder kelas kul 8.. nasib la akak tak ikut sama ambik pic dgn handphone ( seperti yang 3/4 of the drivers buat) kununnya nak jadi bahan bukti yang ko datang lewat pasal trafic jam kan? nanti boleh fwd kat boss bahan buktinya kan? ada akak kesah? akak walaupun jam 2 -3 jam pun, tetap akak sampai clock in time tu jek.. tak kira la walaupun sampai kul 2 petang akakakaka. ( ni apasal ko bitter mode ni kak?)

Lupa arr nak criter apa.. kelas start lagi 10 minit.. kije cam dah complete la ( for today), dengan pc yg slow cam siput ....
owhh perlu ke akak meng-komplen lagi? Dah takder apa2 yg nak dikomplen kot pun (for today)...
Owh malam tadi akak tido awal.. sebab akak tak lunch ptgnya.. pas tu akak pi makan kat SUP urat Keting ( akak makan nasik dgn ikar bakar jek pun) dan hasil daripada memakan nasik, sangat la mengantuk.. owh jumpa Zizan RL and Cat farish kat situ... (ada akak kesah)... lepas makan rasa sngt mengantuk,,, hasilnya peniduran yang sangat awal iaitu lepas isyak sampai la 20 minit nak suboh... selalunya kalau terlebih tido ni pun dia akan mengundang ke kemengantukan juga pada esok harinyaaa yakni hari ini...
so intipati daripada entri merapu ini... kesan daripada pagi yang panjang itu ( see ada relevant kan entri akak ini hehehhe).. akak ada kelas sampai kul 7 malam.. keleeeess kan? so sepatutnya akak tukar tajuk entri ini daripada pagi yang panjang.. kepada HARI YANG PANJANG.....
motif akak tak tukar tajuk ni.. sebab kalau dah tukar.. apa pekdah akak nak publish entri ni kan? it will be straight to the point... tapikan manusia mana suker direct to the point... dia mesti ada mukadimmah dulu yang memakan masa 4-5 jam... pas tu baru come to the point.. kan kan kan?
Dah.. akak nak pi kelas...

Tahun Baru 2011 dimulakan dengan kemalasan melampau

....untuk meng-update blog...
sementelah semester baru jek bermula dan pagi ni. belum kuar sinar diufuk timur, akak dan kereta2 lain dah sama2 tersekat dalam trafik jam ke HUKM. Cepat2 pi ultrasound my kidney, and cepat2 melepak nunggu urologist kat klinik..pastu cepat2 pi makan walaupun dah kul 10 am (dah ala2 hypo dah time tu) sebelum betul2 kebulur. Balik fac.. baca thesis lebih kurang.. stress lagi ada lah.. tulis thesis cam tulis karangan saya nak pergi bercuti di New Delhi.. bahasa lintang pukang.. ( makk sangat stresss hokey) yang menyebabkan kemengantukan melampau, lalu akak pun kononnya nak catch my 40 winks , siap off light, kunci pintu lalu tido lah akak beralas kan bantal strawberry.. di atas 2 kerusi yang disusun sebelah menyebelah... 40 winks la sangat.. 10 minit kul 2 baru akak bangun ekekeke...
ok lah. nak sambung my 40 winks ptg tadi to an 8 hours beauty sleep..

KM portal thingy

boleh tak akak buat joget lambak sekarang sebab dah selamat isi semua kmportal akak sementelah hari jumaat ni adalah deadline nya? weaahoooooo! taksesia akak bersengkang mata di hari jumaat ( sampai minum air suam jek for lunch on that day) dan juga separuh hari , hari ni untuk mengisi menda alah yang masih menjadi kontroversi walaupun dah 4-5 tahun km portal ni di-isi secara online, bak kata TNC Akademik la..
Yerr.. ikut la resam akak ni ( ecehwahh), even tho i keep on procrastinating it, but at the end i managed to fill it within 1 1/2 day.. (yeay sekali lagi).. sila fokus macam akak and why dun u spend the time that u reserved for complaining this km portal, to fill it.. seriously... exchange of emails, endless sarcasms to other clinical lecturers who managed to get their DU54 without even clicking their fingers ( especially not filling their kmportals), ofcourse there are a tinge of facts in those emails.. akak pun geram gak... penat woooo, we have to supervise students, writing papers, do research, applying for more and more grants, and yet those people who do nothing ( not even teaching) have been promoted in a record time.. tak nangis akak tu ?
but then, if u see on a bright side (mode pegang tangan sambil nyanyi nasyid), dah itu rezeki dorang, ( bak kata dekan akak le), the university cant afford to lose them to other private college/ hospital, thus they have to give wat they demand.. and this is actually in line with what KKM has done to its staff, automatically promoted those who are in service for 10 years or more to U54. owh well.. mek xura has already obtained her portion.. tats why she managed to treat us at dchiengmai last month.. akak pun tak jeles la.. she deserved it..
anyway.. where there is a will, there is a way.. aite.. being a staff, i have signed my akujanji which stated that u need to follow watever the university rules and regulation. Who are u kidding with? I mean, if we have set our mind to just do watever tasks that are essential in this university, eventually we ll manage to do it, with a sincerity hokayyy.. ko kalau mengomel sambil buat kije tu.. pahala pun tak dapat...
Honestly speaking, I love wat i am doing here.. i love working here, I am surrounded with good friends and colleagues, some whom u can lean on yr not so broad shoulder, some whom will listen to yr frequent complaints ( of cleaners, lazy students, bad management hihihi) without trying to spread to others lahh. and as long as u accomplish watever tasks that have been given to u, u r on yr own flexi time...
but the most important thing.. u r paid for wat u do.. paham konsep barakah anak-anak? ekekekeke
onnnn another note, the students will start coming in next week...( huwaaaaa, motif emo ni naper kak?). The door will be knocked every 5 minutes ( owh akak sukerr jek), the labs will be full again class reps will call me to ask whether the class will be on or not ( aku tak paham sungguh bebudak ni, sukerr sangat kalau class cancel awal2 semester, pastu menggelabah biawak at the end of semster kalau class belum habis)..
eh ironically, akak pun macam tu jugak dolu2, cuma kalau class cancel akak pi library hokey sebab tak koser nak panjat bukit balik ke hostel.. arakian bebudak sekarang, disebabkan hostel yg cuma sepelaung jek dari fakulti, asal class cancel jek, pi membuta kat bilik.. pas tu the next class, tak datang sebab terbabas.. sebabnya.. ko nengok K-pop video kat youtube sampai kul 4 pagi kannn ( see, akak adalah seorang yg sangat memahami rutin dorang ekekek)
Wahh skill mode membebel akak masih on rupanya... even tho its been months since i last nagged to the students..:P
owh before i forget, ajih has safely back in Kl last thursday.. despite the delay flight on monday, he managed to take another flight on wednesday to paris-amsterdam-KL. meroyan kot mamat tu tak dapat pulut pagi.. bak called yesterday morning, informed that ajih will be reaching KB within an hour. I can imagine he's gobbling the nasik kerabu, nasik belauk and all kinds of kueh (pulut nisang should be on top of the list) this morning. I havent seen him yet, not sure whether I manage to see him before he's flying back to Marseilles in 2 weeks time.. Hopefully he'll remember his "jjamung' before going back.. My never ending missions on "pow-ing" my siblings is still my priority watt! eekekeke
Lunch time already.. feeling so wonderful today when u ve accomplished a task.. owhh... still got time to write one more paper kot. (whoaaaa hooo, gila produktif ko ye akak... jangan riak sudahhh ekekeke)

Last weekend..

2 more weeks before the new semester starts.. and there's not much that i ve accomplished up to this point.. am trying to fil the so called km-portal but as usual, it is so hard to initiate things like scanning the documents bla bla bla.. how i wish i have an RA to do all these stuffs, also thrashing out out all those papers in my room heeeeee..how i wish i have a genie in a bottle that will come to my beck and call and spring clean my room at the end of each semester.. dream on ah akak...
anyway on happier note, weeekend was fruitfully spent at putra height with aleeya, rayyan and lil areej. It's nice to have some changes in yr static life styles anyway. my usual quiet weekend was transformed to a chaotic one with the wailing rayyan demanding his 'oti cekelat' every 5 mins and areej trying to balance her robotic steps while clinging to bibik's knee. Zuni has tested her cooking skill in making nasi beriani and laksa penang.. not bad tho..
Anyway, as today, am back to usual working routine.. just finished a report on a master's thesis.. trying to concentrate on finishing another paper in the mean time..

oh my.. i ll be going extra bz when the students start coming in.. anyway, will be having a unit meeting on thursday.. and i think i have to be rough ( la sangat) at a few lecturers which are in ignorant mode all these while..
apasal la akak sekarang asyik nak marah manjang ek? hmmm... must be one of the aging smptoms ( or perhaps pre-menopausal? ekekekeke)

owh btw, ajih's flite was cancelled and he's only coming back perhaps this thursday.. i m waiting for the right time to demand for a 'makan busat' sponsored by him.. ekekeke..

till then...

Weekend rambling

ok lah.. sementelah akak log in internet di hari sabtu, akak terasa seperti mahu memblog la pulak, walaupun amatlah 'rare'nya akak nak buat begini during weekends sebab akak lagi suka tengok astro sambil tergolek depan tv sambil makan tak ingat sambil tambah2 2-3 kali ( yeah there goes my diet plan which i have been faithfully followed dbefore ramadhan last time).. tapi sekarang ni cam rasa mencanak canak naik nya berat badan akak ni.. i did blame in on the elevated steroidal dose which i took priorly , op kos la it will decently raise my appetite.. but the truth is, ever since i suffered from a terrible muco cytis last time, which enabled me to eat and drink anything for a week, I ve realised that i should enjoy my appetite and make full use of my taste bud before He takes it away...once again..
Owh, not that i will totally diminish the idea of dieting again in this lil head of mine, but i will take it one step at a time.. and try to reduce my carb intake.. slowly heheh and eat more veges.. and protein.. and rarely eat fast food ( which i think I ve successfully reduced it as the last time i ate mc donald was 3 months ago :))..
owhh and btw, my stress level is lowering down, thanks to those 2 students of mine who managed to submit their thesis on time... and now, I have to concentrate on other essential things such as filling my km portal, writing papers bla bla bla..
on top of all, during my recent rheumy appt, most of my diagnostic levels have come back to normal.. akak sangat suka.. except for the specialist who attended me , dah ala-ala dr Rozmey dah akak nampak dia,dengan bow tie nya (which i found very weird, hahaha) and the way he enquired me pertaining to my pencytopenia last time... i d prefer to see the registrar instead then...
tetiba takder idea.. i woke up at 6 am tis morning, regardless the weekend... had my bfast at 6.30 am.. and staring at the idiot box for hours before i fell back to sleep on the sofa.. while listening to the korean drama lol. i cooked my lunch at 11 and been eating non stop ever since... dunno why but i think my cooking skill is getting better nowadays kah kah kah. ( who am i kidding aye?).. really regretted that I was not able to attend the baking class last saturday.. walaupun chances to do it at home is very slim as I do not have a decent oven ( yeah rite) but stil, if it can kill my time during weekends, why not.... hehehe.. they said it is never too late to make changes in yrself aite....

I d better key off... nak solat... have a fruitful weekend akak.. ( motif wich diri sendiri?...)

can I spend my weekend in peace?

Had a tremendous weekend with the parent and siblings. It started with a bbq cum areej's belated bday's party at my younger sis's hse at putra height. ma and bak and xura n family arrived at abg li's house a day before. saturday and sunday were well spent at putra height and we convoyed to DR Cafe's at mont kiara's for coffee session later on. onsunday morning, after having a full breakfast, headed to OU for a shopping session. Back to KD at noon and had a last min dinner reservation at d'cheng mai at sg buloh. we reserved earlier at jeram sea food , alas, as usual, abg li couldnt come back home on time. ( we 're supposed to leave at 5.30 pm so that we'd be able to reach there before maghrib). well it was an excellent dinner as the best meal is always a free meal :). tokk a last minute EL on monday as I feel like being in the same house with the parent. Still at KD :). They went back home this morning , so did i.
anyway, the only thing that spoilt and ruined my weeekend was.. the non stop calls and sms from the studnts which really irritated me. Can't they leave me alone on weekends? can I have my privacy on weekends? I was SOOOO MAD that i neither took any of the calls nor smses.. Seriously, they are too much. During my days i never dare to either call or text my lecturer/supervisor, worried that they might need their own family time during weeeknds.. BUT THE STUDNTS ARE SO INSENSITIVE AND SELFISH NOWADAYS! They will keep on calling you and keep on texting you, thou i did tell them to not to ruin my weeekend.. One of them have already texted me informing that she'll be getting a medical leave due to the chicken pox.. yes, she has been doing nothing since ramadhan. no result no NOTHNG! and she still called me just to inform me that she's having chicken pox? as I if I would not be able to read her sms... ?
I feel like barking at all of them now.. Had enuff with those 2 students whom'r supposed to submit their thesis this week, and yet still struggling with the printing, tho I spent few days of last week to correct their softcopies...
I am sooo tired.. really tired with their attitudes...