maybe its more of disappointment.. truly disappointed when a person did not do his job well.
In another word, I am totally mad..
2 weeks ago, I asked the person in charge with all these deliveries including mails and documents to send my document consists of an application for a postdoc along with all his certificates and papers. I spent half day to compile all the necessary documents and put in the out tray in the dept office. I put a stick on note telling the PIC to deliver it safely to the Research and Internalization office at level 2.
As i havent heard any news from the office, i ve been looking for the guy whom sent my document and everytime I looked for him in the office, he is either missing in action or went to some other place.
But today, I cant wait any longer, he was nowhere to be seen so I asked for his mobile no instead from another girl in the office. I called him wanting to know to whom did he sent the document previously. He said he just put the document in the counter as no one is around that time.
Priorly, I called the girl in charge with the document at the Research office and she informed that she hasnt received any documents before. She then lookedevery nook and cranny for the document but to no avail.
I later messaged the guy asking him to trace back the document. Since I had class from 2-5 this afternoon, i never got to see him in person. Never thought of checking any phone msg as well
And guess what, i just read the msg, and he told me to reprint the document again because he said ' it is ok to do that"
so, here comes the ugly part..
I feel like banging his head on the wall (if i were there infront of him now).. feel like cursing as well. but my vocabulary is so limited tho.
So i replied his msg- I have no problem with reprinting the document but the fact that I have spent half day to prepare the documents and to compile all the appendices which God Knows, where the hell shall i start to look for them again in my congested superslow pc.. and how should i let the candidate knows that the staff here is so underefficient , he can always lose your documents-
The only thing that I can do now is crying with frustation..
I so detest the people who take for granted of their works.
Enough said.
and i so hate the people who think that they re so superior they can belittle others without mercy.. and if u think u r witty and funny.. i suggest u should use other words to describe yourself, maybe old, and snobbish? or maybe u think u re so good u can act like GOD?
People have feelings and u have none?
Case closed
Showing posts with label anger management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger management. Show all posts
Monday, March 04, 2013
Saturday, October 06, 2012
So, what's your excuse this time?
I feel like pouring out my rage today. It started with this one student who takes for granted of her study. I got so annoyed that I lashed out at her over an email. Ermm not really an email, but more like a msg that i sent via FB. These students nowadays, they do not bother their respects towards their SVs anymore. As for me, you are not showing your respect towards your SV when you did not bother to do what they asked you to do, long time ago. I asked her to add some other studies as I found out the existing one is not sufficient for a master's project. I think I ve been asking her to do that since last April, but till now, she hasnnt done anything yet. not even 1/10 it. She kept on giving excuses like she hasnt got the animals yet ( which sounds illogical to me) . The latest you can get the animals for the experiment is within a month time. whilst narrating on other stories like her laptop is broken etc. GOD, i wish like strangling her now if she were infront of me.
Just because I was too friendly around them lately, doesnt mean that I can just be lenient over those things. she replied and numerously asked me to forgive her. This is her 6th semester already, how long does she think the university will allow her to extend? Even the progress is toooo darn slow. and to top of it, she was too darn confident that she would be able to submit the thesis by the end of this semester. Whereas , I havent found any progress of hers yet. Dream on then!!
I am not going to start (again) with " during my years last time.. bla bla bla...". There is too muchh gap between the current students with the ones during my time. Find it yourselves. GRrrrrrr!
On a happier note, Its saturday afternoon anyway. I ve been waiting for the weekend anxiously. Too much stresses during weekdays + pressures dealing with that particular student. She has been given a chance as i was helping her when she asked me to become her SV last time. I made her promised to not waste her time by working hard under my supervision. Yet, she broke her promise, and occupied most of her time with other things. I am not the sort of person who went berserk over the students. I advised and waited whether she would follow my instruction. But she just put it all aside, and focused on other unworthy things. And that made me infuriated! whilst other students have to sacrifice a lot more just to continue their tertiary education, and have to beg others to let them study, she has the whole plate infront her and she purposely ignoring it. ( see, I cant stop whining and nagging her).
Ok, enough is enough. If things are out of control. I have to terminate her then. She doesnt appreciate what she has, and it might be better if i just give to others who deserved it.
Adam and Eve, translated Adam dan Hawa, is the 'in' drama nowadays. It has been mentioned in every blog and everybody cant wait to watch it on air for 4 consecutive nights. Me is no exception lol. For those who do not subscribe the channel in Astro, they can watch it online. As for me, I ll compile all 4s in one day. but then those will be a rerun. never mind, as saturday and sunday are my definition of TV time.
Other than that, life is still a routine. oh. another rerun of malaysian masterchef is on tv now. Ciao..
Just because I was too friendly around them lately, doesnt mean that I can just be lenient over those things. she replied and numerously asked me to forgive her. This is her 6th semester already, how long does she think the university will allow her to extend? Even the progress is toooo darn slow. and to top of it, she was too darn confident that she would be able to submit the thesis by the end of this semester. Whereas , I havent found any progress of hers yet. Dream on then!!
I am not going to start (again) with " during my years last time.. bla bla bla...". There is too muchh gap between the current students with the ones during my time. Find it yourselves. GRrrrrrr!
On a happier note, Its saturday afternoon anyway. I ve been waiting for the weekend anxiously. Too much stresses during weekdays + pressures dealing with that particular student. She has been given a chance as i was helping her when she asked me to become her SV last time. I made her promised to not waste her time by working hard under my supervision. Yet, she broke her promise, and occupied most of her time with other things. I am not the sort of person who went berserk over the students. I advised and waited whether she would follow my instruction. But she just put it all aside, and focused on other unworthy things. And that made me infuriated! whilst other students have to sacrifice a lot more just to continue their tertiary education, and have to beg others to let them study, she has the whole plate infront her and she purposely ignoring it. ( see, I cant stop whining and nagging her).
Ok, enough is enough. If things are out of control. I have to terminate her then. She doesnt appreciate what she has, and it might be better if i just give to others who deserved it.
Adam and Eve, translated Adam dan Hawa, is the 'in' drama nowadays. It has been mentioned in every blog and everybody cant wait to watch it on air for 4 consecutive nights. Me is no exception lol. For those who do not subscribe the channel in Astro, they can watch it online. As for me, I ll compile all 4s in one day. but then those will be a rerun. never mind, as saturday and sunday are my definition of TV time.
Other than that, life is still a routine. oh. another rerun of malaysian masterchef is on tv now. Ciao..
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
I'm not anti-social, I m just inferior
I am on medical leave today.. I was thinking that my ortho appointment will end early, but then, my number has only been called after 12. Well, never mind, I can just fulfill a few hours of the afternoon by ermm... posting a post?Anyway, I got a numerous missed calls when I was in the doctor's room,and i just let the phone rung. It was my student, wanting to see me, thinking that I was in the faculty this morning.
Anway, I am undergoing another joint replacement,which is my wrist. Both wrists are actually badly deformed, but I complained that how my right wrist keeps on being numb whenever I do things, like typing an entry for my blog,like now..In order to do that, I have to pay for RM8K for the prothesis, According to the hand surgeon whom I met just now ( a nice lady,she is), if it's a fusion, it will be cheaper, but then the movement of the hand will be limited. And now, I m going to get as much money for the prosthesis, perhaps a few sessions of starting school/finishing school and entrepreneurship lectures will cover the whole expenses. Of course, the cost of the surgery will be covered by my university but purchasing the prosthesis alone should come from my own pocket as it is sold by an individual company. Last time, when i underwent my knee replacement, my parent paid for the prothesis, and long before that, for the prosthetic hip, i was still under university which i studied at that time. I am just worried that it will consume a lot of time, as the wrist replacement is considered as a delicate procedure . Cant afford to have weeks of not able to use my hands. Anyways, surgery is getting sophisticated each day, I dun have to worry much tho.
The apartment where I live held a jamuan raya last sunday. As usual, I did not attend the jamuan. I have this feeling that everybody will stare at my deformed hands as well as my limpness. I never told people regarding my illness unless that asked me. Most of the time, I d let them think that my deformities are congenital. The thing is, being deformed, will only make me more inferior. But then, this is understandable amongst my family members, cousins etc.
Many years ago, due to my unlimited activity and friends, i turned into chatting. I managed to make friends with a few people, whom I disclosed myself as not like others. Most of them are okay as they still want to be my friends despite my condition. I remember this one guy, still remember his nickname on mirc, LSDiamond, and later he changed it to Padaiyappa. I met him once when he came to my faculty, at that time i was doing my PhD in UM Medical Faculty. He was a nice man. I even showed him the pictures I took for my research. whenever we re online, we chatted, and I asked him about the cats. He and his wife are cat lovers. Anyway, later on, when I was online, I noticed him chatting to others and when i said hi to him, he did not even reply. After a few times, I realized that he actually ignored me in purpose, for the reasons I id not even know. he was a bit popular later on in the chatting room, as he has met many other chatters afterward. Finally, I tried to make a final attempt by provoking him in the chatroom. It wasn't that serious tho, as many were talking at the main channel at that time. Surprisingly, he managed to respond to me, by saying" Shut up please, I knew what u r up to, Do no forget that u r 'cacat", shame on you". It hurt me the most, when u have to announce in the main channel, that i am a 'cacat' person, and I did not even know what others have been telling him about me, as in real, i rarely meet up cyber people. That was the most hurtful remark, which I can still remember until now. Some more, cacat is one harsh word, that why we came up with OKU,-Orang kurang upaya. I did not do anything wrong, I did not fancy him, and I treat him as a friend only, never went beyond the limit. and in the first place, he was the one who desperately seeking my friendship, not vice versa. Tears went streaming on my cheek non stop at that time. I mean, To hear it from someone, that I am cacat, indeed I am, but why did you have to embarrass me, without even really knowing me. Why is there a discrimination amongst us, human? If you r normal, does that make u superior in God's eyes? I later wished his persian cats been hit by cars. and to him, I will never forgive you, for things u said.
I would neither forgive nor forget. After all, I am a Piscean LOL.
Anway, I am undergoing another joint replacement,which is my wrist. Both wrists are actually badly deformed, but I complained that how my right wrist keeps on being numb whenever I do things, like typing an entry for my blog,like now..In order to do that, I have to pay for RM8K for the prothesis, According to the hand surgeon whom I met just now ( a nice lady,she is), if it's a fusion, it will be cheaper, but then the movement of the hand will be limited. And now, I m going to get as much money for the prosthesis, perhaps a few sessions of starting school/finishing school and entrepreneurship lectures will cover the whole expenses. Of course, the cost of the surgery will be covered by my university but purchasing the prosthesis alone should come from my own pocket as it is sold by an individual company. Last time, when i underwent my knee replacement, my parent paid for the prothesis, and long before that, for the prosthetic hip, i was still under university which i studied at that time. I am just worried that it will consume a lot of time, as the wrist replacement is considered as a delicate procedure . Cant afford to have weeks of not able to use my hands. Anyways, surgery is getting sophisticated each day, I dun have to worry much tho.
The apartment where I live held a jamuan raya last sunday. As usual, I did not attend the jamuan. I have this feeling that everybody will stare at my deformed hands as well as my limpness. I never told people regarding my illness unless that asked me. Most of the time, I d let them think that my deformities are congenital. The thing is, being deformed, will only make me more inferior. But then, this is understandable amongst my family members, cousins etc.
Many years ago, due to my unlimited activity and friends, i turned into chatting. I managed to make friends with a few people, whom I disclosed myself as not like others. Most of them are okay as they still want to be my friends despite my condition. I remember this one guy, still remember his nickname on mirc, LSDiamond, and later he changed it to Padaiyappa. I met him once when he came to my faculty, at that time i was doing my PhD in UM Medical Faculty. He was a nice man. I even showed him the pictures I took for my research. whenever we re online, we chatted, and I asked him about the cats. He and his wife are cat lovers. Anyway, later on, when I was online, I noticed him chatting to others and when i said hi to him, he did not even reply. After a few times, I realized that he actually ignored me in purpose, for the reasons I id not even know. he was a bit popular later on in the chatting room, as he has met many other chatters afterward. Finally, I tried to make a final attempt by provoking him in the chatroom. It wasn't that serious tho, as many were talking at the main channel at that time. Surprisingly, he managed to respond to me, by saying" Shut up please, I knew what u r up to, Do no forget that u r 'cacat", shame on you". It hurt me the most, when u have to announce in the main channel, that i am a 'cacat' person, and I did not even know what others have been telling him about me, as in real, i rarely meet up cyber people. That was the most hurtful remark, which I can still remember until now. Some more, cacat is one harsh word, that why we came up with OKU,-Orang kurang upaya. I did not do anything wrong, I did not fancy him, and I treat him as a friend only, never went beyond the limit. and in the first place, he was the one who desperately seeking my friendship, not vice versa. Tears went streaming on my cheek non stop at that time. I mean, To hear it from someone, that I am cacat, indeed I am, but why did you have to embarrass me, without even really knowing me. Why is there a discrimination amongst us, human? If you r normal, does that make u superior in God's eyes? I later wished his persian cats been hit by cars. and to him, I will never forgive you, for things u said.
I would neither forgive nor forget. After all, I am a Piscean LOL.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Maid
am feeling very tired today. I dun even have strength to 'bak' at the maid. I let her cook by herself. Just pray to God that she will not poison me with her dish ekekeke.
I ve been 'leaking' at home for 4 days. Dun feel like visiting any of my siblings. I cook whenever I feel too with the help of Indi, the maid. But being a 'practical'person, there were always things that i wasn't satisfied with her. Mom said, she doesn't understand that well. I reckon, after being in Malaysia fr 6 months, there are certain things that she may pick up, for sure. Sometimes i think that i ve committed sins a lot ever since she has become my maid. I d easily get angry. and I am too tired to bark at her every time. nevertheless if i spoke to her in a normal voice, this dud bring more disaster. Oh God, what shall I do.. I am praying very hard that I d be able to walk by myself quickly and dun need to rely on any person. I just wanted my life back, my old life where i lead it by my won self.. freely. Gosh... this maid tangy rally getting on my nerves. In fact think it has tested my patience to the max.
Enuff about it.. not to tell she, the maid has run around at the faculty with barefoot! I ve ben warning her when she did for the first time , and yet she did it again, every time when she had the chance, when she tot i d never realize it... God... i was like dumbfounded.... betul tak makan saman puny budak..
And there war elike many things that she did which made me feel like strangling her.. i ve been stalking the agent to replace another maid, yet... the agent said, she's now out of stock.. boleyy? Pakkal la auk day mintak yg a bit older when i first demanded a maid, tapi di baginya jugak yg muda yg ala 'nymphomaniac". That i will tell in another entry if i feel like it. That's the reason why i dislike her so much but mom said i have to bear it because rite now i am totally relying on her. What if she feels like abandoning me one day. then , my mom said " You will not be able to work anymore"..
yeah yeah... so i will have to bear with her no matter what. *sighing*
I caught her praying without doa kunnt during subuh prayer, and when i asked her whether she forget something, she said no. "What about yr do a kunut" I asked her. "Udahh" she said. There's one thing that i detest her, she never confessed even tho she did it and she likes to blame other person rather than admitting she did it.. and that is another story...hehehe
As for the time being, I asked her to cook for herself when ever she's starving. She only cooked rice and ate it with a pinch of salt, bley? no side dishes. Tho there are fish and meat and veges in the fridge. I told her, its up to u. If I want to eat, I ll cook by myself but dun ever have the tot of me not giving her any food to eat. If she's lazy then she is. Parahhh..
I just hope i won't get any high Bp whenever i m with her.. it's so stressful to think of anyone else when u have yrself to take care of.. she doesn't give much help tho.. and now i think i understand how some ppl are able to abuse their maids. maybe if they have the maids with the similar attitude of mine, they'd surely can't stand it.. but as a moslem who behold to her faith, I d never do things like that... she'd just kill me eventually hahahaha
I ve been 'leaking' at home for 4 days. Dun feel like visiting any of my siblings. I cook whenever I feel too with the help of Indi, the maid. But being a 'practical'person, there were always things that i wasn't satisfied with her. Mom said, she doesn't understand that well. I reckon, after being in Malaysia fr 6 months, there are certain things that she may pick up, for sure. Sometimes i think that i ve committed sins a lot ever since she has become my maid. I d easily get angry. and I am too tired to bark at her every time. nevertheless if i spoke to her in a normal voice, this dud bring more disaster. Oh God, what shall I do.. I am praying very hard that I d be able to walk by myself quickly and dun need to rely on any person. I just wanted my life back, my old life where i lead it by my won self.. freely. Gosh... this maid tangy rally getting on my nerves. In fact think it has tested my patience to the max.
Enuff about it.. not to tell she, the maid has run around at the faculty with barefoot! I ve ben warning her when she did for the first time , and yet she did it again, every time when she had the chance, when she tot i d never realize it... God... i was like dumbfounded.... betul tak makan saman puny budak..
And there war elike many things that she did which made me feel like strangling her.. i ve been stalking the agent to replace another maid, yet... the agent said, she's now out of stock.. boleyy? Pakkal la auk day mintak yg a bit older when i first demanded a maid, tapi di baginya jugak yg muda yg ala 'nymphomaniac". That i will tell in another entry if i feel like it. That's the reason why i dislike her so much but mom said i have to bear it because rite now i am totally relying on her. What if she feels like abandoning me one day. then , my mom said " You will not be able to work anymore"..
yeah yeah... so i will have to bear with her no matter what. *sighing*
I caught her praying without doa kunnt during subuh prayer, and when i asked her whether she forget something, she said no. "What about yr do a kunut" I asked her. "Udahh" she said. There's one thing that i detest her, she never confessed even tho she did it and she likes to blame other person rather than admitting she did it.. and that is another story...hehehe
As for the time being, I asked her to cook for herself when ever she's starving. She only cooked rice and ate it with a pinch of salt, bley? no side dishes. Tho there are fish and meat and veges in the fridge. I told her, its up to u. If I want to eat, I ll cook by myself but dun ever have the tot of me not giving her any food to eat. If she's lazy then she is. Parahhh..
I just hope i won't get any high Bp whenever i m with her.. it's so stressful to think of anyone else when u have yrself to take care of.. she doesn't give much help tho.. and now i think i understand how some ppl are able to abuse their maids. maybe if they have the maids with the similar attitude of mine, they'd surely can't stand it.. but as a moslem who behold to her faith, I d never do things like that... she'd just kill me eventually hahahaha
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Its neither URTV nor MANGGA magazine..okay!
no. i am still not well, in fact i was a bit feverish this afternoon, my whole muscles were aching as i just climbed up a hilly road to attend a meeting at mtdc building in the morning. then in the meeting i had to delay my nature call bcos i was in the middle of the meeting, and i was located at the furthest seat from the exit door..
and due to the reasons above, i develop a stiff muscle at the lower limb, and due to the pain, my fever developed much earlier today..yesterday, i had it after maghrib and it prolonged till 12 am..
and with this ailment,which i tot it was another uti, I feel like strangling those people who intentionally ( i suppose) made my application procedure undergoes thru fussy process.
Owh before that, i came back early this afternoon, about 3.30 as i felt i couldn't get any work done with my feverish condition. some more it was very difficult for me to get up with this aching muscles...
yet, rite after i reached home, popped up one red pill and another white tablet, there i was better in a record time. had a cold shower, i was sweating alredy. Good... as this is the 1st day the sun shines from morning to noon, i did a laundry and i sweated again while hanging the laundry.. sukaaaaa..
anyway back to my application form... ok i seldom whine regarding the management here, but when they tried to make it difficult in approving my aplication by requesting items that were not in their check list ( i tried to fulfil all the items required), that will be wayyyyyy too cruel then. Just , when the top management were advising us to spend the money ( which is a lot) allocated for those particular activities, and when we tried to apply, they will make it harder for us to get it. I mean, why in the first place YOU told us that we can just apply, any time in any condition and later rejected us, in an uncruel way? WHYYY? TIM KAIIIII? POUR QUOIIII? ( see kan akak dah meroyan)..
and by the way, to whom it may concern, a scientific journal can be named in wahtever names, whether it can be named a DOT MAGAZINE, even tho it is not a magazine , unlike the entertainment magazine cam ( majalah URTV tu), and yet u wer3e so confident to reject the paper which has been published already in the magazine and told me that, a magazine is not a scientific journal, and we cannot accept it "although dah sah sah aku dah printed the whole manuscript, sent it out to you, and there was some info given on that particular cjeck list.... " tapi tetapppp ko nak menafikannya.. ( which i have no idea malaon mana yang cannot differentiate a scientific journal from a non scientific magazine? The name itself wont potray the whole concept of the journal, jibraunnnnn wehhh!
I replied the email tho, stating and even gave the website address of the journal.
Fine, if u do not want to approve my application, lantakkkkkkkkkkk. Its just i have this slightest notion of improvising my this year KPI jekkk...I will be going alone anyway, so it wont be abusiness trip with leisure...If i wont get this fund, tak payah pegii sudahhhhh!
Seriously , in way i feel so disappointed with either the rules or (hidden)procedures practised in this university. Sometimes it was the top management people or maybe the staff under them who make it difficult. Yet, what u demand from us ( these marhain people) are impossible to be achieved. Can u at least practise the give and take rather than taking from us everytime..?
Hangat hati betul laaaaa...
and due to the reasons above, i develop a stiff muscle at the lower limb, and due to the pain, my fever developed much earlier today..yesterday, i had it after maghrib and it prolonged till 12 am..
and with this ailment,which i tot it was another uti, I feel like strangling those people who intentionally ( i suppose) made my application procedure undergoes thru fussy process.
Owh before that, i came back early this afternoon, about 3.30 as i felt i couldn't get any work done with my feverish condition. some more it was very difficult for me to get up with this aching muscles...
yet, rite after i reached home, popped up one red pill and another white tablet, there i was better in a record time. had a cold shower, i was sweating alredy. Good... as this is the 1st day the sun shines from morning to noon, i did a laundry and i sweated again while hanging the laundry.. sukaaaaa..
anyway back to my application form... ok i seldom whine regarding the management here, but when they tried to make it difficult in approving my aplication by requesting items that were not in their check list ( i tried to fulfil all the items required), that will be wayyyyyy too cruel then. Just , when the top management were advising us to spend the money ( which is a lot) allocated for those particular activities, and when we tried to apply, they will make it harder for us to get it. I mean, why in the first place YOU told us that we can just apply, any time in any condition and later rejected us, in an uncruel way? WHYYY? TIM KAIIIII? POUR QUOIIII? ( see kan akak dah meroyan)..
and by the way, to whom it may concern, a scientific journal can be named in wahtever names, whether it can be named a DOT MAGAZINE, even tho it is not a magazine , unlike the entertainment magazine cam ( majalah URTV tu), and yet u wer3e so confident to reject the paper which has been published already in the magazine and told me that, a magazine is not a scientific journal, and we cannot accept it "although dah sah sah aku dah printed the whole manuscript, sent it out to you, and there was some info given on that particular cjeck list.... " tapi tetapppp ko nak menafikannya.. ( which i have no idea malaon mana yang cannot differentiate a scientific journal from a non scientific magazine? The name itself wont potray the whole concept of the journal, jibraunnnnn wehhh!
I replied the email tho, stating and even gave the website address of the journal.
Fine, if u do not want to approve my application, lantakkkkkkkkkkk. Its just i have this slightest notion of improvising my this year KPI jekkk...I will be going alone anyway, so it wont be abusiness trip with leisure...If i wont get this fund, tak payah pegii sudahhhhh!
Seriously , in way i feel so disappointed with either the rules or (hidden)procedures practised in this university. Sometimes it was the top management people or maybe the staff under them who make it difficult. Yet, what u demand from us ( these marhain people) are impossible to be achieved. Can u at least practise the give and take rather than taking from us everytime..?
Hangat hati betul laaaaa...
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