The Maid

am feeling very tired today. I dun even have strength to 'bak' at the maid. I let her cook by herself. Just pray to God that she will not poison me with her dish ekekeke.
I ve been 'leaking' at home for 4 days. Dun feel like visiting any of my siblings. I cook whenever I feel too with the help of Indi, the maid. But being a 'practical'person, there were always things that i wasn't satisfied with her. Mom said, she doesn't understand that well. I reckon, after being in Malaysia fr 6 months, there are certain things that she may pick up, for sure. Sometimes i think that i ve committed sins a lot ever since she has become my maid. I d easily get angry. and I am too tired to bark at her every time. nevertheless if i spoke to her in a normal voice, this dud bring more disaster. Oh God, what shall I do.. I am praying very hard that I d be able to walk by myself quickly and dun need to rely on any person. I just wanted my life back, my old life where i lead it by my won self.. freely. Gosh... this maid tangy rally getting on my nerves. In fact think it has tested my patience to the max.
Enuff about it.. not to tell she, the maid has run around at the faculty with barefoot! I ve ben warning her when she did for the first time , and yet she did it again, every time when she had the chance, when she tot i d never realize it... God... i was like dumbfounded.... betul tak makan saman puny budak..
And there war elike many things that she did which made me feel like strangling her.. i ve been stalking the agent to replace another maid, yet... the agent said, she's now out of stock.. boleyy? Pakkal la auk day mintak yg a bit older when i first demanded a maid, tapi di baginya jugak yg muda yg ala 'nymphomaniac". That i will tell in another entry if i feel like it. That's the reason why i dislike her so much but mom said i have to bear it because rite now i am totally relying on her. What if she feels like abandoning me one day. then , my mom said " You will not be able to work anymore"..
yeah yeah... so i will have to bear with her no matter what. *sighing*
I caught her praying without doa kunnt during subuh prayer, and when i asked her whether she forget something, she said no. "What about yr do a kunut" I asked her. "Udahh" she said. There's one thing that i detest her, she never confessed even tho she did it and she likes to blame other person rather than admitting she did it.. and that is another story...hehehe
As for the time being, I asked her to cook for herself when ever she's starving. She only cooked rice and ate it with a pinch of salt, bley? no side dishes. Tho there are fish and meat and veges in the fridge. I told her, its up to u. If I want to eat, I ll cook by myself but dun ever have the tot of me not giving her any food to eat. If she's lazy then she is. Parahhh..
I just hope i won't get any high Bp whenever i m with her.. it's so stressful to think of anyone else when u have yrself to take care of.. she doesn't give much help tho.. and now i think i understand how some ppl are able to abuse their maids. maybe if they have the maids with the similar attitude of mine, they'd surely can't stand it.. but as a moslem who behold to her faith, I d never do things like that... she'd just kill me eventually hahahaha