welcome 2012

Its the 3rd day of the year 2012. yeay! i m a bit excited as i m going back to KL this friday. plan to start working again, with or without wheel chair.. hehehe. The year 2011, has really come to an end. If i could turn back time, i wish id never gone thru that year. It brought such a tragic memory to me. I was bedridden for 5 months. I cried almost everyday during that period when the nurses started dressing my wound. t was a hugeee wound. U can see the muscles and the bone jutted out and the unhealed flesh which gave such a sore sight to everyone's eyes. I was not able to neither drink or eat for months. the smell of any food will make me nauseated. I lost so many weight that i thot i am less than 35 kg at that time. when they started implanting the skin to cover the wound, i had another problem on the donor site. dee to the pressure sore, i had blisters on both my calves. the right one became worst as it formed a hole with some pus inside. and now, the foot is still sensitive from the previous wound. my temperature had more than oct raised up to 40 degree. They didn't give me any pills as paracetamol may worsen my liver state. so i was left with the hypothermic condition more tan once. they gave me lots types of antibiotic from the weakest to the strongest that made me suffer a lot. the whole skin changed to darker color and i was darker than dayang senandung at one time. i was admitted to ICU a few times as well. up to the extent that i tot its the time that I shut give up. I did. I even met each member of my family asking for forgiveness. I read my last wish to my mom. I confessed of my true love to all of my family members. I was such in a sorry state. even tho i know i have lots to repent, but i just wished i t'd come to an end. every time my mom came to see me, she wept into tears till one day i told her she should stop weeping. GOd knows my emotion at that time. It was such memorable incidence.
But then when it was destined that it was not my time to die yet, where as i read and saw many people beside me died without any further causes. I was the one who was bedridden for 5 months and next to my bed, a 26 years old girl just died after admitted for not more than an hour. I should be grateful , no.. i am very grateful as Allah still gives me the chance to repent, to correct what was wrong, to become a much better person and the top of all not to forget HIM. to remind me that anything in this world is temporary. without His blessings, we are nothing. to make me realize that money is not everything ( thou it is still somewhat important,).
own well, we ll just see then. I intend to make this year the most fruitful one. I have no resolution, if i were to overcome another bigger test, i d be 'redha' as usual. after all we re seeking for the happiness during the day after, whats with the one in this world, it is never comparable to the one that we ll be facing soon.