Turkey trip- Antalya

Memandangkan malam ni malam minggu, so akak sikit terajin mengelod piccas masa kat turki hari tu.. ni pun jenuh nunggu padahal baru beberapa piccas jek.. maka terimalahhhhhh.... ( ye akak nengok masa kat sana makin tombam la plak.. muka cam buah epal dah hahaha) tapi skrg pun cam tu... nak wat camna.. dah tak fotogenit.. wat camna pun muka cam tu le.. tanpa dibantu oleh mana2 perisian komputer yek.. hahaha. owhh kronologi sepatutnya bermula dengan pic yg paling bawah tu... so caption macam tiba2 lompat sana lompat sini la yek


ini ada lah muka-muka yg excited nak pi excursion ke water fall ( yg sangat cantik very piocturesque wa cakap lu, tapi disebabkan tunggu bas lama sangat, muka yg excited tu lama2 jadi boring.. ini ada lah group 1 ASIA yek.. ada from brunei, india dan juga portugal.. ( tu european sesat.. muka minah tu cam iras2 ugly betty kan?)


owh ini view from jetty at the beach.. since i have once come here, and the other 2 havent come to this part of theresort yet, so akak pun jadi ala2 tourist guide bawak dioarang.. sebenonya kita org ingat kan nak pi snacking.. sbb terlepas lunch.. malangnya dia org dah tukar snack time to earlier time.. so lagi 5 min diaorang nak bawak masuk.. tgh kita org duk ambik tu tepat jek kul 6 dorang terus bawak masuk,,, kurang hasam betul... kalau kat mesia takder nya dorang buat cam tu kan... kalau ada hoteliers yg tengah ambik makanan...huh!

dan ini adalah muka2 yg sangat puas hati dengan perkhidmatan turkish bath and massage..on the 1st day we arrived, since conference started in the afternoon, we managed to go out pi try turkish bath and hamamm at the nearby area. kat hotel will cost aby 46 euri tapi kat luar we managed to get 19 euro/person for 11/2 hour. gila murah.. lara is the name of the city and hamami means massage.. basically it comes in a package of bath and massage.. akak siap buat facial lagi hahahah . 1st time for ppl yang takpernak masuk turkish bath.. akan mendapat kejutan which will give a cardiovascular side effect... akak rasa heart rate akak increased crastically + BP pun mencanak naik time tu.. nasib tak muntah jek masa tu.. tapi akak tengok turkish cam biasa jek.. akak telah disental dengan jayanya oleh masseur yang badannya masyaalah... pas tu naik atsa rehat jap.. minum turkish tea yang sangat best... di massage pulak... since kulit akak ni kan sensitip.. akak suh dorang go gently..tapi time urur kat belakang.. sangatlah besttt.. time kat peha.. menggeletis punya la sakit... aka rasa la kalau akak duk turki memang tiap2 bulan la akak pi sana... takpayah gosok daki sendiri.. org lain buat muahahaha...selepas disental akak dapat rasakan akak sangatlah putih bersih dan tak comot lagi hahahah

at the beach.. since kita org ( me and one of the bruneian colleague) tak sempat lunch, so berusaha menapak ke beach yang punya la jauh for the snack.. muka yang tak basuh tak mandi dah lebih 24 jam tapi ada hati nak pi beach .. tapi masyaalahh... viewnya sangat la losuy ( sebab makcik2 tua ada hati pakai bikini lalulalang depan kita org.. wat a sore sight heheh)

ini view daripada bilik akak... excited gila bila sampai ( padahal penat punya la 10 jam dalam flight, pas tu tunggu berejam plak tunggu flight ke antalya.. excited punya pasal....tu sebenonya swimming pool resort sebelah.. kat antalya ni semuanya beach resort.. dah namanya turkey riviera.. tapi best.. rentalnya sekali ngan meals 6x perday dengan semua facilities are usable.. ada semuanya siap ngan mini theater, golf miniature ( motif nak cakap juga?), turkish bath, sauna, gym etc...

-to be continued-(kalau rajin)

updating la sikit-sikit

Lama sungguh tak update. Lotsa things to write but as usual, I was too lazy to memerah otak untuk mentintakan bait-bait tulisan di layar internet ( ecewahh... bahasa)
And as today.. i took an MC.. i was at O&G clinic for a followup... kalau appointment abis after 12, harus ambik Mc as i d be too lazy to go to work and do things within less than 5 hours ( ada baiknya balik dan tido saja kat rumah .. and pas tu bukak internet kan kan kan)
I started my depo back.. due to the recurrence of my endometrial pain during my menses ( that is the 1st time in 1 1/2 years).. so not to take anymore risk of my ovaries forming the cysts, I begged the MO to give me a depo ( padahal previously berkeras taknak tu).. but since the mercilon gave me the pain and i think it trigger my enodmetriosis again, ( please dun ask me why, my response to drugs are very different from others).. so have to be prepared to get bald hahahaha. one of the side effects of depo is.. it will make your hair fall down.. lotsa hair ( haa kau dengar tu sedi hahahah)
owh well.. enuff about updates on my health.. the laymen wont even know wat i m talking about.. living with 2 sisters who are medical specialists make me become like i am now lol.. owh btw, the MO who attended me , she's from UPM too.. just started her master in family medicine.. when she mentioned her name.. it just occured to me that I once came across her blog while i was bloghopping.. ( so i did remember her whines regarding her bz life as previous MO in hospital kajang and she was very grateful when she got a permanent post as UPM staff).. did mutter to her regarding her blog and she was quite surprised hehehe. anyway, i did not manage to get back to her blog.again...
owh ok.. on lighter note, my fav bro and family dah siap bersukaria kat kg for a week.. ces ces ces.. balik sikit punya lama..as i has gone back home earlier, the tot of joining the crowd tu masih membara-bara, but due to the unfinished business kat fakulti ni.. ( the students are on semester holidays tapi tatap la juga akak kije dengan tekunnya)... cikgu kan cuti kalau students cuti kan... best kan jadi cikgu? NOT! hahahaha..
Owh btw my bp has gone down to normal level when the students are all gone. ( nampak sangat akak stress time students ada hahaha)
am going to penang esok for students practical visit. hajat hati nak pi memborong jeruk salak kat chowrasta bazaar but it depends on the 'tourist guide'. selalunya akak memang makan ati dengan the tourist guide's sense of direction. susah sangat akak naik cab jek la..
I m leading a very quiet life la nowadays .. i do admit it.. neither going out at nite nor weekends... must be the age factor... i m transforming to an anti-social personality la kot hahahah... ( but the only thing that i love doing till now i is gossiping with my kid sisters.. tapi haram... both of them are stuck with kids and their hectic life as MOs.. so i rarely meet them. But i did visit one of the sister at her Putra height's home last weekend. tu pun after too many procrastinations..
owh well.. need to take a shower now.. its very hot nowadays.. rarely rain in kajang... feel like sleepingt naked jek... hahahaha
ciao..

Misteri Nusantara 2

Assalamualaikum.....
semenjak 2 menjak akak ni sgt bz.. iya bz dengan kegiatan paranormal yang berlangsung dirumah akak tanpa akak sedari.. ala-ala mistik gitu..so semenjak akak dah aware dgn aktiviti paranormal tu, terpaksa la akak mengambil usaha untuk memberhentikan kegiatan 'haram' tersebut ( haram la, dah berlangsung tanpa kebenaran tuanrumah) dengan pergi berubat kat beberapa orang ustaz ( nanti la akak updatekan lain kali secara terperinci)
.. balik dr istanbul ari tu, akak ke jogjakarta ye mas mas dan mbak mbak sekelian ( motif tetiba cakap indon?) untuk mengunjung universiti gajah mada dan juga untuk aktiviti berwisata dan libur dan shopping kat pasar beringharjo. hasilnya wang di akaun akak susut berjuta-juta rupiah... heh:)
sekembalinya akak daripada liburan di jogja, akak kembali ke kampung halaman sambil membuat lawatan mengejut ke rumah adik akak di KT. dan baru minggu lepas akak kembali ke serdang... dan sekarang seperti dipermulaan paragraf tadi, akak tgh berusaha untuk mengurangkan aktiviti paranormal daripada terus berleluasa di teratak buruk akak.. ecewahhh
Minggu ini, akak ada konferens di KL, dan minngu depan mungkin akan ke Penang barang semalam untuk melawat student praktikal...
Rasanya masa berlalu dengan begitu pantas.. Niat di hati masa cuti semester ni sempatla menulis paper untuk penerbitan jurnal...
Aja-aja fighting akak! ( tetiba... )

Motivational story.. you think?

Im a bit melancholic tonite, bear it wth me then..
Ever since I came back from Istanbul last sunday, I still cant overcome this fatigueness.. and i tot the jet lag would only last for a few days after my return.. Unfortunately, I am still not able to adjust my sleeping time.. I ve become very sleepy at daytime and wide awake at nite time.. I think my body has been warning me regarding tis but i just simply ignore it.. now..i think this body cant take it anymore la..
Anyway..on lighter note.. Things are still gonna be hectic for me for the past few weeks.. the final year students have just finished their viva voce.. the rest have gone back home for the semester holidays.. and I guess.. after this I m gonna be quite free to start writing a few papers.. while taking some time off to see my parent.. and another visit for the studnts who went for their LIs.
I managed to blog visit to a few blogs in my list.. and I cant help to feel empathy towards budlee regarding his blog content.. I did see him couple of times in the faculty, as I know his face thru his blog. I guess this is wat most of the postgraduates feel during their studies.. and I m not an exception either..
However, its not that I want to brag during those heydays of mine.. but just want to motivate you ( if u r reading this post), your life is much more easier than mine.
If i can do it.. ( and you have to remember, I do not possess a good health, I ve rheumatoid arhtritis when i was 10 years old till now), u d surely can go through it till the end.
Those were the days la kan.. I went thru so many hindrances when i was in my 1st unmdergraduate year. Took 2 years leave as my condition was worsening at dat time. continued my study when all of are my friends were at their final year and i was still struggling to undergo my 1st year. I ve been yelled at when i accidentally trash my samples by my supervisor.. I remember weeping softly in the elevator on saturday afternoon, rite after i came out from my supervisor's room. and i still remember what she told me in that room," Saya tak pernah jumpa budak yang tolol macam awak ni,simply buang jek samples awak dalam sink without consulting anyone".. ( and how i was supposed to consult anyone when i was all alone in the lab most'f d time, as I started my FYP in 2nd semester, when the rest of the students have already finished their project during that time.
But I guess i have a thick skull, and when the the incoming semester started, I ve registered myself as a Msc student under the same supervisor and I guess that's why I ve earned her respect until now. She's still mentioning my name (in a good way) to her current postgrads even tho the incident had happened more than 16 years ago. Whe n i did my phD,due to my condition, I had undergone 2 incidents of sprained arm and other worst cases. I have to choose between my pain and the lab works and usually the former won. Nevertheless, all those incidents never stopped me to go on. at times i felt so frustrated, I was all alone.. but the tot of' this is the thing that I wanted, nobody put a gun at my head for that. and i ve never complained about it no matter how tough it is. so to you... my advice.. you cannot just put all the tots in the writing.. some things are better left unsaid.. Nobody will say that its an easy things to do.. any jobs in the world is tough.. The students will say that their times are the toughest.. and when they started working,their perception will also change..the key word is the patience. and the gratitude..when I have no one to turn to.. I know I still have HIM that protects me ever since I was born. I know, with his protection and his doings, I am what I am now. As muslims , we all are.. rite?
Last time, I have a supervisor who cannot be yr 'friend'. we do not have hps that we can just simply text ur supervisor and pour out yr problems even on weeeknds. and I personally believed that doing postgrad studdies nowadays are much more easy. we do not have the internet access during those time and we had limited references to be included in yr thesis. .....
owh well.. enuff about it I guess.. am still trying to overcome this tiredness..
Good luck..

Gumbira

Motif akak berupdate tgh2 malam buta ni? ....
Sebagaimana tajuk di atas, kegumbiraan hati akak ini sebenarnya adalah disebabkan ( wahh ayat!).....
ok.. akak letakkan dalam point form yek ( nih gara2 baca thesis budak2 dah terikut2 ni..)
. akak dah selesai memarking 5 bijik thesis dengan jayanya.. disaat lecturer lain masih lagi terkial2 duk ambik draf students dorang.. (bab ni akak memang bo-layan. dah cakap submit 1 april, apa kes ko baru terhegeh2 nak submit DRAF on the 1st April? Ke diaorang ni memang tak paham arahan dalam bahasa Melayu. So akak dengan tegasnya merejecyt mana2 draf yang baru disubmit on dat day dan mengarahkan sebijik thesis yang lengkap dihantar dalam masa seminggu. ( tu kira akak masih lenient lagi pe..)
. akak dah berjaya mengahbiskan kerja-kerja lain. juga mengisi fail untuk audit.
. so semua dah settled. maka terhegeh2 juga la akak nak buat slide untuk presentation kat conference next week
. Akak akan ke Turki next week, alone.. tapi balik ada company. Sangat seronok juga rasanya sebab akak akan ke Antalya aka Turkish Riviera selama 5 hari di mana konferens diadakan. lepas tu stop kat istanbul 2 hari sementara menunggu flight. Best tak? best tak?
. owh lupa nak cakap. akak dapat lagi another colic last friday. Pukul 3 pagi akak ke A&E Hospital Serdang sebab dah tak tahan sakit sgt. It seemed dat kidney stone yg diblasted 6 months ago, has recurred again.
. Owh lagi satu, setelah 9 bulan akak berjaya tidak di 'jab' dengan depo, akak sudah tewas hari ni.. sebab obstetrician tu nasihatkan akak ambik balik pil perancang, and this time secara oral.. akak redha jek la. owh and they found out ada fibroid sebesar 3x3 cm yang tidak merbahaya mengikut dokter. i gained 2.5 kg after 4 months.
. Nephew akak yang baru sebulan masuk SMS Alam Shah mogok tak nak balik skolah semula last sunday, yang membuatkan mak bapak beliau mati akal.. ( ikut hati nak rasanya pelempang jek budak tu)
. Akak pergi Setia Alam untuk melihat rumah baru abang akak di sana, yang ternyata tak mampu untuk akak membelinya hatta sebuah pondok pun kat sana..
. Muscle kat perut ni masih lagik sakit hasil muntah berkali-kali masa colic tu.. nak batuk pun sakit wooo....
Akak rasa itu jek laporan buat kali ini.. Akak akan membebel lagi when i came back from Turkey ya.. Harap2 nya selamat la perjalanan pergi dan balik..

Sehari tak cukup 8 jam

Sekarang ni disebabkan dilambak dengan beban kerja yang memerlukan kesemuanya diselesaikan sebelum 17 hb, akak dah mula merasakan satu hari tak cukup 8 jam kerja.. CTolak dengan masa pegi toilet, makan, meeting ngan students, satu tesis pun tak sempat abis baca sehari.. ditambah dengan 5 business reports yang harus di bagi markah.. report pada penghujung kursus, slides yang masih perlu dibuat.. memikirkannya rasa mahu stay back kat ofis sampai malam.
Malangnya, rasa kesian kat driver mengatasi segalanya. Kalau nak suruh dia datang ambil dalam pukul 7 gitu,abis pukul berapa dia akan sampai rumah? mesti lepas pukul 10 malam. Almaklumla KL ni makin lewat makin jam. Maka, nak tak nak, terpaksa la juga balik tepat pukul 5 so dat driver boleh sampai rumah dia before 7.
Hari ni kononnya dah janji nak balik dengan kawan, so dat kita orang boleh stay back sampai maghrib. Tapi rancangan tak terlaksana. At the end balik pukul 5 juga.
Masa kita sibuk ni la, masa tu la nak buat audit, bagi deadline bagai...
Apa salahnya kalau semua tu boleh di hantar selepas 24 hb?
macam ada 3 orang students ni.. disebabkan dia org bertiga jek yang kena pegi somewehere on tat exam day.. siap merayu suruh postpone exam. Kalau dia cakap dia org jek yang terlibat, of course la kita org boleh awalkan exam utk 3 orang tu. Tapi sukarela la plak merayu untuk kawan2 lain yang tak de kena mengena. Itu la buat ayat separuh jalan.
Esok cadangnya nak terus buat kije tanpa apa2 gangguan. kena pikir dua kali untuk pegi bersembang. Selalunya sembang tu jadi kegiatan sampingan sebab ada jek terjumpa orang yang nak bersembang on the way to toilet..
meja pun semakin berselerak. Silap haribulan terjumpa bangkai cicak kat atas meja tu hahahaha.
Ok la.. bak kata students.. aja aja fighting la gamoknyeee..
Weekend ni baru ingat nak kemas rumah.. dah ada agenda lain.. mom n sis are in town.. kena la jugak pi jumpa.. dah dekat 5 bulan tak jumpa mak.. sebelum pegi mana2 baik mintak restu mak dulu kan :)

Misteri Nusantara

okay< I need to blog regarding this, Tried not to think about it, but it really annoyed me. Tried to tell pakcik, (biasalah akak kan suka mengadu domba, but I dun think I d get any response from him. The least that he can do is irritating me more by telling that i m being forgetful again)..
But I know I am not. And I am pretty sure that I did not misplace it. Eh, akak yang basuh kain lipat kain, takkan akak tak ingat kan?
Well let me tell the story.. I lost my pant again. The grey pant. and this is the 2nd time tat I lost my pant inside my house!
The first time was last year. I lost 2 pair of pants at tat time. the chocolate and the pink ones. I tot I left them at my bro's but when I asked the maid to look for me, she said they'r not there. Of course la akak pun perasan akak tak pernah tinggal apa2 kalau balik rumah my bro. And this time, I lost another pant. I still remember I saw it nicely folded inside the 2nd drawer in the room.
Tapi tadi, bila akak tiba2 terasa nak pakai, akak cari lah tapi tidak jumpa. Persoalannya, siapakah yang mengambilnya???
I mean kalau ada org yang masuk rumah akak when i was not at home, takkan lah dia cuma ambik sehelai seluar kelabu akak jek. Abis laptop and other precious items in my house tu, takde la plak dia nak ambik?
So, tadi kan, akak cam dah bengang, akak siap cakap kuat2, sesapa yang ambik tu pulangkan lah.. cukup2 lah dia ambik a few items in my house, hari tu syampu yang akak beli letak kat fridge kat dapur pun bila akak nak guna, dah takder!
Akak perasan jugak, whenever I bought another new pants, ada la satu atau 2 helai yang lama went missing. and last time, when the chocolate pant went missing, I just bought another new pant with the same color. And this grey pant, I also have another one with the exact color..
Mysterious,, isnt it?
and that reminds me of another incident... which happened a few months ago.
The fan was on when i came back from work. Scary gila akak time tu cos I remember I did not leave the fan on when i left the house.
Hmm.. i dun know la.. Really dun want to think about it but it has really pissed me off to the extent that i changed my mind to wear the blouse that matches with the pant. I m wearing a baju kurung instead.
And Miss Ghost, can you please return my pant and just take watever pants that I dun want to wear anymore?

Almost 'meroyan'

Kita hanya merancang.. Tuhan yang menentukan,...
Dan atas pernyataan itu lah akak harus pasrah dan redha kerana segala yang dirancang tidak berlaku..
Maka, akak terpaksa teruskan juga rancangan itu walaupun berseorangan.. walaupun segala rancangan telah terkubur begitu sahaja...
Tapi akak MASIH ada PLAN B.. okeyyyy! :)

Kisah 2: Akak masih lagi meroyan dengan kerja yang makin berlambak-lambak ,ditambah dengan students yang punya hobi hantar draf tesis last menett pas tu expect akak boleh baca dalam satu hari...(Akak rasa kalau hari-hari akak meroyan, memang tak lama la tu akan dihumban ke bangunan sebelah tempat kije pakcik shahe kita... ada harapan jadi jiran dia karang :)). Namun begitu ada la juga kebaikan nya... yakni (1) akak tak sempat nak makan minum.. boleh kurus gamaknya (kot)..(2)akak merasa diri sangat produktif, so rasa sedikit sebanyak akak telah menyumbang kepada negara.. (lame punya ayat ni ). Tapi entah mengapa, walaupun bulan ni adalah bulan yang sungguh 'hectic' tapi akak rasa cam bersemangat je.. ( apakah...!)
Kisah 3: Rindu kampung tapi takboleh balik. Ingat nak balik weekend pun, tetap ada jek aktiviti samada difakulti ataupun universiti. Nak balik weekdays, kena tunggu final year students go thru dianya viva dan segala bagai. 2 orang kawan karib akak dah collapsed dah sebab stress kot. Akak, alhamdulillah masih lagi bertahan. kalau nak tumbang.. sempat pegang lamp pole lagi kot :)

Akak harap Allah permudahkan laluan hidup akak dan juga sihatkan tubuh badan akak sehingga hujung tahun ni. AMIN

Hesitating..

Ok so i feel like updating today...despite my hectic life nowadays..
Of lates, I ve been piled up with lotsa students theses, yang cas last-last minute baru suruh kita baca.. typical for them..
and I m in the sorta disturbed mood... due to an incident which make me sangat la berjauh hati with my good frends..
yes, I m nut supposed to pour this feelin out as I ve actually promised myself.. that no venting out either yr frustration or yr anger in blogs, our wallowing in self pity..(tapi i ve to break my own rules on this one isolated case..)
am not going to narrate it openly tho...
Let me just narrate things that indirectly related with the things that really bothering me now.. basically people may just add 2 into another 2.tho..
Haishh.. how to start arr?
On another note.. tak payah la cerita.. let me keep it inside myself.. till i m humbly back to normal.. Just put my nose inside all those stacks of paperworks on my messy table..

Kisah dalam cerita

Kisah 1: Semalam akak punya birthday. Tetiba jek rasa terharu sebab pelbagai umat manusia kat facebook akak post birthday wishes. waaahh... selama ni takder sapa tau birthday akak, ni dah join fb semua org sama-sama celebrate ( la sangat) dengan akak. Iya la kata-kata dan doa tu pun dah cukup menggumbirakan hati akak yang tengah lara ni (cehwahh). My good friend belanja akak makan, lepas tu terus la buat aktiviti sampingan serba sedikit kat JJ equine park. Ada seorang manusia tu lupa birthday akak, tak pe la, lagipun konfrontasi masih lagi diteruskan.

Kisah 2: Hari ini akak meroyan sensorang cari pw dalam bilik untuk isi e-filing. rasanya dah letak ditempat yang selamat, tapi dah terlampau selamat sampai cari balik pun tak jumpa-jumpa. End up, akak terpaksa la call balik dia punya talian hotline. Nak kena simpan dan tampal kat dahi agaknya pas ni. Anyway, akak dah selamat mengisi e-filing dan internet adalah sangat laju sebab tak ramai yang mengisi nya lagi. Tunggu lagi dah dekat2 deadline, alamatnya traffic jam la website lhdn tu.

Kisah 3: takder hehehe.

Disebabkan pulut santan binasa...

Pagi tadi mood akak masih elok sehinggalah, ada manusia durjana yang tengah elok2 minum teh tepi akak menegur akak dengan cara yang sangat kurang sedap ditelinga akak. Akak yang tengah membaca ruangan hiburan kat harian metro masa tu, sebenarnya tengah duk baca mengenai budak2 yang layak ke AF8 tahun ni. I mean,salah ke akak membaca nya, bukannya masa tu akak ada menggossip atau mengumpat pasal dia orang. Akak hanya membaca dengan senyap dari paragraf awal hinnga ke akhir., sambil2 tengok jam, sempat ke lagi akak masuk kerja pukul 8.
Tiba-tiba ada lah seorang manusia tu yang terus jek menyeru lantang depan akak " You baca ruangan hiburan tu, takder faedah langsung, those are all bull shits" sambil bersuara dengan sombongnya.
Tahu tak apa perasaan akak ketika dan saat itu. Sangat SENTAP ok....S.E.N.T.A.P!
Akka cuba nak menyambung semula pembacaan akak tapi 'mood' akak dah hilang. Terngiang-ngiang ditelinga akak, kata-kata manusia tersebut yang berbaur sombong semacam. I mean, kalau ye pun nak tegor, boleh tak cakap elok-elok, contohnya.. " dah-dah le baca pasal AF tu'.. takpayah le sambung dengan "tak berfaedah langsung u baca tu"!
Akak baca fakta ok.. bukan ruangan gossip, bukannya akak tengok pun konsert AF tu, tapi apa salahnya akak baca sapa budaak2 yang terpilih tu, mana asal doa, apa pendidikan dia, apa hobi dia.. salah ke? SALAH ke?
Terus akak tutup paper tu sedikit kasar tapi takder la sampai hentak meja as he claimed. Kalau betul2 akak hentak meja, dah lama meja tu terpelanting. Akak bukannya ada kudrat sangat nak hentak2 benda- benda nih.
So terus la akak membisu seribu bahsa sampai ke fakulti. tisu yang akak pegang kat tangan dah akak robek2, carik-carik sampai hancur. Ikutkan nafsu amarah dah akak campak je kat muka dia.
Selalunya kalau hati akak tengah kacau macam tu, ada jek bahu yang akak boleh pinjam, tapi hari ni, sangat sibuk nak marking paper la, students datang jumpa la, macam-macam la sampai akak takder masa nak meluahkan perasaan amarah akak tu.
Banyak benda yang akak rasa boleh tempelak kat 'penegur' tu tapi akak simpan jek dalam hati. Cuma mata jek la berair sepanjang perjalanan tu.
Manusia tu kata akak takboleh terima nasihat orang, tak boleh terima teguran org lain. Itu pun akak tak menjawab. Sebab akak tau kalau akak jawab, akan lain pula jadinya nanti.
Cuma akak pikir, kalau baca ruangan hiburan yang seminngu sekali pun susah tu tak berfaedah.. jadi.. hisap rokok yang dah tentu menghitamkan peparu tu, sampai 4-5 kali sehari tu. berfaedah ke?
Akak boleh teriuma teguran orang tapi kalau nak tegur tu, cermin dulu diri sendiri.. jangan suka hati sahaja sebut "tak berfaedah; kalau diri sendiri pun tak mampu nak quit buat keja yang tak berfaedah...
kan?
sampai la saat ni.. akak masih sentap, dan jangan harap akak nakmintak maaf sebab akak tak rasa akak bersalah. Akak tak hentak pun meja.. dan bukan akak yang cari gaduh. Akak juga tak makan pulut dan akak tak rasa santan yang ditanak dengan pulut tu santan yang masih elok. Santan basi kot...
Sekian.

Haruan Goreng Berlada

Hari ini akak adalah kempunan. Tak dapat jamah sup haruan dan haruan goreng berlada, lepas syarahan inaugural one of the professor kat dept akak, Akak terpaksa rush ke MATTA fair ( la kunun) untuk mencari tiket ke suatu tempat. hasilnya.. nan adoo. Takder matta fare, normal fare jek ada, baik akak beli online jek cam tu. So inilah yang dinamakan.. yang dikejar tak dapat.. yang dikendong berciciran.. Udah le kat PWTC tu punya la ramai, byk travel agencies yang mengamalkan diskriminasi.. akak dukla tercangak kat kaunter punya la lama, takdernya nak dilayan... ikut hati nak jek buat aduan kat tourism malaysia kat situ gakk..
Akhirnya akak pun balik dengan penuh rasa keciwa.. sebab last matta fair, akak sempat la beli tiket ke kyoto yang hanya separuh harga daripada tiket yang dibeli online. Nampaknya plan akak kurang menjadik tahun ini.
Esok ada simposium lagi kat fakulti untuk 2 hari. The father n the sister are in town. Tak tahu la sempat nak jumpa atau tak sebelum dia org berlepas balik KB semula.
Akak merasakan sungguh bizi sampai tak sempat nak mop lantai rumah minggu ini.
Okeh la. akak nak pi beli tiket online jek la sat gi.
Taaaa...

What I did last week..

Watched 2 movies in a row.. (walaupun duk complain kije berlambak2.. sampai kena took a break masa tgh2 buat kije.. dengan menge-call sapa2 yang jadi masa untuk me-release kan tension ( eeee.. bahasa akak ni makin terukk)...
tapi tetapp sempat tengok wayang.. berdesup kuar time lunch pas tu sambung balik kije pas abis.. balik kije tetap kul 5... ( well i really have an excellent focus..)
the outcome.. Niyang rapik... story plot lompat sana sini... disebabkan nak masukkan elemen suspen tu.. the director was so eager to include watever scenes without thinking of its continuity.. the motives for each scene was not relevantly supported... well no offence to the director cum producer...
Valentine's day... much better compared to the former mentioned.. even tho it consists of many stories, we can still the connection between each of em. it even has the moral of the story.. It was smoothly narrated..
and this weekend, i am still struggling with the final exam questions.. Next weekend gonna be a hectic one.. marking lagik.. bla bla bla..
owh well.. life is like that I guess..

shoohhhh go away..

Am having straight lectures from 2 till 7 pm today, hence tis updating.. sebab akak dah sangat mengantuk ni due to the mounds of food that i ve just eaten during lunch ( jamuan , courtesy from a few colleagues). of lates, there are too many tasks queueing up, semuanya nak kena buat at one shot.. tak ke haru tu..
anyway tis is the life i chose.. kang takder kije sangat kan complain jugak.. goyang kaki lama sangat pun bo-sssssan jugak.. manusia ni memang tak pernah bersyukur.. (tetiba..)
anyway, akak nak mula mengatur langkah ke lecture hall yg dekat basement tu hahaha.. nak lalu pun ala2 going thru tunnel dulu...
owh well.. just a short update to overcome my so-called 'narcolepsy'...hopefully the students wont catch the same syndrome.. "dream on" lol
till then...

Of expenses and not being selfish..

weekend is back to normal. Akak with usual routine. Bangun pagi, bfast ala kadar, sapu rumah ( kalau rajin), mop rumah ( kalau kotor sangat) and bukak sliding door luas2 whlle swinging myself to sleep ( usually i wont la, sebab akak kan mana suka tido siang, kunun.. ). Pas tu kalau lapar, I will make myself simplest lunch using watever ingredients that i d already have at home.
However, while thinking of the last week's chaotic event, akak terasa la akak ni sangat SELFISH because I was like, feeling so relieved to conduct a normal life again tis weekend.
So adakah akak ni memang mementingkan diri sendiri? due to the [normal' life that i ve been leading for 40 years? Seriously, once u r so used of living alone, any abrupt interval will be such a nuisance to me.. ( tapi mengapakah akak rasa akak sangat SELFISH?)
Seriously, I m not proud of myself. Ropernya bukan senang nak berlaku ikhlas in watever things we do. There'd always be a tiny voice in my mind who'd be questioning whether I have done it rite, or its just a waste of money and time for me to do any god deeeds. sangat paranoia ok.. Itu lah.. selalu jek ada bisikan syaitan bila kita nak berbuat amal kan?
Anyway on the other hand, its very easy to just spend your money over unnecessary things ( but on 2nd tot someone has to convince me that it is essential to me).. However I m still contemplating over it till it'd be too late and tengok2 i ve actually spent the money over 'things' boley
So, since nasik dah jadik bubur, I d try to make it fruitful of wat i ve spent.. and yeah.. probbaly I d get to see the effect after let see... the soonest in 3 months time..?
But for the time being, probably i need to cut down my food intake ( yeah rite.. ) and try not to shop too much.. (ok.. no more new blouses and new pants for the next 3 months lol)

Kalau sapu lantai rumah sampai 10 kali sehari adakah maksudnya akak mengalami simtom2 OCD?

Seriously, akak menjadi sangat rajin mengupadate 2-3 hari ni memandangkan aktiviti akak yang biasa di hari cuti iaitu tido terbongkang di atas sofa sambil tengok tv tidak dapat dilaksanakan berikutan kehadiran tetamu2 kecil kat rumah akak ni. Arakiannya terpaksa la akak mencari hobiain untuk mengisi masa cuti selama 4 hari ini dengan mencari pepenjuru dinding dan membuka laptop sambil mem-bloghopping, walaupun sumpah, aktiviti begini adalah paling tidak digemari tatkala cuti panjang. Akak rela melepak disofa kecik yang hanya boleh memuatkan 2 orang kanak2 sahaja sambil menonton back to back episode siri CSI. Tapi minggu ini akak terpaksa mengorbankan sofa kecik kesayangan akak itu utk orang yang lebih memerlukan huhuhu. (tapi akak rasa cam cuak jek sebab budak2 cam manjang tengok tv jek, ye lah,, anak orang, nak akak tego2 kan.. majuk nak balik rumah anak2 yatim lak kan)... ishhh sesungguhnya akak adalah amatur di dalam bab2 cam ni tau..
Hari Sabtu, akak berjaya goreng mee hoon untuk lunch, dan rasanya menjadi kegemaran ramai kot sebab akak bagi dorang makan sampai malam hahaha ( tak senonoh tul). Lpeas tu pagi semalam akak goreng segala frozen food yang ada dalam fridge, pas tu bfast makan roti dan butter jek.. tengahari akak pegi tesco carikan baju barang 1-2 helai untuk budak2. Seriously, akak nengok dorang ni pakai baju cam tangkap muat jek. Baju kurung yang boleh isi seoranmg budak lagi..Yang herannya tak nampak pun dorang letak panties dalam bakul baju kotor tu...Akak sangat musykil jugak tu.. adakah diaoramg pakai panties yang sama berhari2? ( eeuuww tak sanggup akak nak tanya).. so kesudahanya, akak belikan panties, baju tidur, baju jalan dan sandals untuk diaorang. pagi tadi kitaorang turun bawah bfast kat kedai mamak, dah bergaya sakan la dorang dengan baju yg dibeli semalam tapi yg tak berapa sedap mata memandangnya, dorang still pakai tudung yang dah al-ala telekung sembahyang gayanya. Nak tego, karang takut kecik hati pulak... ( bukannya akak ni nak cakap akak ni orang bandar, pandai bergaya, tapi zaman akak muda remaja dulu, kalau akak tak berapa pandai berpesyen, nak mix n match ni.. ada jek la yang tolong tego kan cakap pakai cam ni tak seswai. ) Ala mak akak dulu memang cukup trendy per.. dia la yang menjadi penasihat fesyen utk akak cewahhhh hahaha.
Itu lah.. susah juga nak menego anak orang ni ghoopernyaaa yob..
Entah la.. adik akak dah tepon katernya nak ngambik akak dan anak2 pi rumah dia. Kita org nak bbq tengah hari ni.. biasa la sambut tahun baru cina hehehe.
By the way, 2-3 hari ni akak feeling2 cam mak2 org , iya lah.. selalunya akak basuh baju seminggu sekali jek, nih hari2 duk mesin baju.. sapu lantai pun 10 kali sehari.. ala budak2.. sikit2 suka beno nak makan kuaci pastu buat sampah kat lantai.. akak nak tego karang.. takut kecik hati ( eeee manjang akak ni nak kena pikir cam ni).. so selang 1/2 jam la akak duk mop lantai dapur, sapu lantai kat hall.. cam dah OCD plak rasanya.. hahahah (kalau tak mak akak ni.. nesti dia bangga, anak dia dah jadi pembersih cam dia hahahah)
Akak taktau la perassan depa ni camna.. iya lah.. entah2 sekali ni jek diaorang nak datang sini.. serik dah pas ni hahahaa.. tapi yang akak sukerrr sangat ngan budak2 ni.. masuk waktu jek terus solat tak payah nak menjerit2 nak suruh dorang solat.. Alhamduliilah bab2 ni tak perlu nak ajar.. dorang dah ajar yg elok2 kat rumah anak2 yatim tu..( anak buah akak kalau bab2 solat ni memang selalu buat tak ingat.. nak rotan pun.. mak bapak dia sendiri pun tak wat cam tu..)
Kadang0kadang terdetik jugak di hati akak yang selfish ni... rasa macam " ishh dah 40 tahun hiduo sorang, ada budak2 ni cam menyusahkan la.. " heeee trak senonoh tau hati jhat akak nih.. Tapi itu la.. akak kan dah berazam, tahun ni, resolusi akak adalah memperbanyakkan amaln dan mengurangkan pembaziran. ( iyalah.. selalu akak shopping bagak utk diri sendiri pas tu akak rasa menyesal sebab membazir..) tapi akak belanja utk dorang semalam, alhamdulliah akak tak rasa cam tu...Tengok keaddan rumah dorang yang terpaksa berhimpit2 untuk tidur, dengan kemudahan yang ala kadar tu.. akak rasa insaf. Akak cakap kat anak buah.. camna ye.. kalau kita masa kecik2 dulu terpaksa duk cam ni.. mesti asyik memberontak jek.. semua kena kongsi.. Iya lah.. akak ni pun ramai adik beradik, akak kan anak ke 5 dari 7 org adik beradik, maaa kecik2 dulu pun kena kongsi jugak.. tapi takle sampai kena share sampai 30 orang sekali. Dengan ruang yang sempit lagik.. Ada 3 orang adik beradik ni, semua lelaki ( yang paling kecik 4 tahun)dihanyar ke RAAY sg Manggis tu daripada Jabatan Kebajikan. Bapak diorang asyik duk bagi anak2 kat orang pas tu mintak duit Eventually jadi kes polis, dan budak2 tu pun.. dah serik , Dorang takut nak jumpa orang, takut orang akan ambik dia cam dulu2..Bila ramai orang datang melawat , terus masuk rumah sembunyi.. Kesiankan.. baru 4 tahun tapi dah trauma cam tu...
Akak nak kena pegi dulu.. Esok budak2 dah nak balik... lepas ni rumah akak sunyi balik.. Siri akak bercakap dengan dinding akan disambung balik hahaha...

2 orphans and a niece

Yes, I am not home alone today, there are 3 guests today, 3 girls yang kesemuanya masih duk terbongkang tak bangun2 lagi whilst me, the efficient lady ( ewahh!) has been awake since 7 am, took a bath, washing all my clothes while watching sonata labu labi 3 in astro... hahaha
I m feeling so uneasy tho, as I ve been so alone all the time.. i do wat i want to do, and today , i have 2 guests who only muttered a few words to me since last nite and a niece (tats an exception as she has known me since she was a baby)
I am not sure whether wat I did yesterday was rite, I mean.. its not easy to develop some kind of motherly love after an hour's conversation rite.. and I m not that ... u know... very motherly in person.. ( exception again to all the dozens of nieces n nephews of mine)..
I cant even suggest them to call me ibu.. ( hahah tat's wat i have in mind).. I mean do i have a right to ask them to call me that, and ishhh. im having problem to befriend 2 kids with the age range of 9-15. I mean.... i m not going to ask them to stay wth me forever kan.. and its even difficult to invite the youngest sister to come and stay with me for 4 days... well she was ok for the first few minutes and later on she started shaking her head.. do i look like a terrible person whom can scare the kid... ( where the hell is the psychoanalyst when i most need em la?)..
and why the hell i feel so unsecured in a sudden? I do not have to make any effort to make them like me rite,, I shud be as wat I am before.. dont have to impress anyone rite.. (wahhhh i m a very confused lady today hahahah)
I mean hello akakkkk.. they r only kids... why do u have to be so worried... (but yeah I am dementedly worried.. as I have no experience with any kids before.. I dun have a kid on my own.. neither motherly instinct...).
What if they dont like me and start comparing wth the guardian from the orphanage... and why suddenyly i feel some responsibiliies has been thrown onto my shoulder where as all these while i live for myself.. never thot of anybody else.. is that a good thing or wat?....huwaaaaaaa..
this is very new to me la.. and for God sake akakkkkk.. this is only a temporary.. u r not gonna see then next week.. and probably u d get to me them in another few months... ( wahh I m feeling so cruel la pulak)...Sapa suruh ko gatai nak berangkat- angkat kan? huhuhuhu
Gila kentang punya orang hahahaha.. ( akak la tu...)
ok la.. I m trying my best to adapt to this situation.. will do my best... )even tho i m suck in cooking).. so dorang akan makan kat luar jek la hahahah..
wokeh.... poi sidai kain dulu... will update later about them..
now am gonna be a good 'mom' and wake them up.. ( uishh kalau anak akak sendiri.. dah lama dah membebel ni..)..
see.. there're hindrances that prevent me from acting like a real mom.. cos I m not sure whether they like it or not if i act like one...
waaaahhh payahhhh nyaaaa...
pergi makan nasik lemak dulu la.. kot2 dapat idea... hahahha

Belok berlengkar...

I have a 'ttm' who will always criticize of whatever term that i use in my daily conversation, especialy when i communicate with him. For eg: me: jam giilerr hari ni., kenapa ek? Him: can you please try not to use 'giler' in your conversation.. me: tampo kang bersepai karang ( dalam hati jekkkk)..
seriously, as I can be easily influence with all the terms that they include in their blogwritings, for instance, i'd somehow, will not purposely include em in my conversation.. as if im trying to expand my vocab ( la konon)..
some other words ie tak boleh blahh . ( which i do not specifically understand wat i means )or something sounds like sungguh hampehh..
I have no problem with people using those 'in' terms.. however i have him who will try to grammatically correct my so called language.. ( sangat geram di situ.. )
There was one situation, he even criticized this one radio ad. regarding faizal tahir's statement..cannot totally remmebr waht he said.. but this fella did mention something like this "Walaupun saya menyanyikan lagu rock dan berjiwa rock, tapi saya masih suka lagu tangkap lelehhh.." which brought some kind of anger to him when he listened to the dialogue.. and there he went with " apa tangkap leleh.. ada ke maksud tangkap leleh tu dalam kamus DBP bla bla bla"
Ihave to admit, I m not good in writing a proper malay.. i tend to combine watever terms that i read in a blog.. ( i have to say there's not many blog who practise proper malay writing... most of them wrote the cacamarba words in it ( like me)..
On other note, I had a tiff with him again this morning, when i gave him a direction to go to UPm while passing by the PKNS Complex.. " sampai depan sana traffic light, u belok kanan".. yes, I said belok, which is a common word for me, and i m 110% sure you can find it in any Malay-english dictionary..
But he say it was weird to hear someone said 'belok",while adding that the last time he heard the word, it was like more than 10 years ago, when he had a conversation with a Singaporean malay.
and I said belok is totally a malay word no matter what region we r from..
and then he asked, why don't u say pusing instead.. so I ansered, no pusing is only when u ask a person to pusing like a 180 degree nya action of moving.. but belok is like u do an action by turning 90 degree.. boley?
see.. i ve related it wth some mathematical or more like geographical lattitude or longitude...
still he was not satified.. he kept asking why.. andthere i was throwing him an acrid remarks.. 'that is because you dont have that many friends that u can converse with" U do not give direction to others instead u drive sendiri ikut kepala u which eventually resulted of u sesat bagak... " luckily he forgot to fuss about my bagak term heheh
i wish i can initiate another fury.. by saying gila kentang la u ni... serve him rite kan... lol
anyway.. happy holiday... and yes, I d be hibernating at home for 4 days... am fetching a niece at banting in an hour and probably take a short visit to an orphanage at sungai manggis later on..
GONG XI Fa Cai....

Tak perlu tajuk.. buat semak je

Hari ini hari Sabtu bersamaan 6 hb Februari 2010. Dan akak rasa cam nak ber-entry la plak hari ni, besides all the laziness and the tots of how much time u spent writing an entry. More than an hour ok.. walaupun untuk entry yang ciput.. serious.. tat's why akak pikir 2-3 kali kalau nak post entry kat opis.. as I feel like I can do other better things ie tulis report ke.. marking paper ke kalau kat opis..
Taaaapiii.. kalau kat rumah tu lain la kan... as i have thousands and thousand of minutes of free time kat rumah... and then I ll have another notion.. of spending my free time at home by sleeping ke.. tengok tv ke.. rather than on my laptop and updating my blog.. (cess ada jek ngko alasan yekk).. tapi serious.. i cant imagine how all these blooger tegar can write like 3-4 entries/day... and can spend like hours to upload piccas etc.. sebab akak tak bolehhh okkkkkk ( walaupun zaman muda temaja dulu.. akak adalah chatter tegar whom can spend whole day to chat wth strangers..) tapi sekarang tidak lagi... sebab akak kan dah tua.. chatting2 bagai tu sudah tidak sesuai lagi okehhh..
Another thing, blogger tegar juga suka confide watever feelings inside them into writings and blogs are such a good medium.. tapi itu la walaup blog akak ni takder pun org baca tapi akak rasa cam tak sampai hati nak curahkan segala perasaan akak kat sini.. well there are time that i feel like venting out ( cam pagi tadik.. akak rasa sangat disappointed sgt becaouse pusat KOKO didnt invite me to be come as one of the facis for the next FS.. despite of my aplication form yang akak hantar awal.. tapi dorang tak panggil akak ( and i suspect this is due to the not so good evaluation from the previous students in my group, walaupun akak yakin dorang bagi evaluation bagus, tapi sebab numbering yang cam mengkonpiuskan dorang yg eventually evlauation facis tu dorang isi number yang lain la..) im very sure of dat.. tapi itu la... (macam kes nak sedapkan hati je).. of course we cannot depend on the students' evaluation kan.. tapi betul la i m not a good faci kot.. prev sem mine was above 4.5 pre...there goes my budget for jogja trip.... huwaaaaa..
See.. i managed to let my hair down a bit gak kat sini kan....
Im bringing back works from the office... gigih nak buat kije kat rumah untuk merawat hati yang lara...
I know i lead a mundane life nowadays.. pegi balik kije during weekdays.. and no excitement during weekend due to my hibernating life style.. am too lazy to visit siblings as my bro yg sorang tu asyik la pi outstation.. the nephews r too bz ( bz main PS) to attend their lone auntie... so i d rather stay at home instead.. at least duk rumah leh gak la shed off a few calories dengan membasuh pinggan mangkuk, perati the picabot vacuuming for me by controlling the remote, sidai kain angkat kain...etc.. ( yes its stil mundane jows for a few)
I dun even go back for CNY.. cos i tot there'd be unsurprised event occur at that time,, tapiiii na n ado.. which actually add more salt to my wound..seroiously I think i m such a fialure for a lotof things.. ( but im not revealing myself la.. katerr blog is not the media for confiding.. hahhaaha)
and also I have a few procrastinating task... due to my... ermm.. lacking skill of driving... nak gi mana2 on weeeknd harus laaaaaa pikir 10 kali (or more) whether i have the gut to ask other favours from my weekday driver... tambah2 plak kat area sg chua ni agak segan untuk menapak ke depan naik cab.. and of course i know they r gonna charge me likeeee.. waaayy more than the normal fare...
Im making myself bz-ier.. tapi tu la.. dah nature manusis.. dah bz complain la plak... pas tu dah byk sangat free.. complainnn jugakkkkkk...
so akak think.. im gonna sit down silently, watching AFC kat astro, drooling over the food ( tapi nak masak malas) while typing my report... I need an extra budget for the jogja trip ni.. i need watever works that wud give me some extra income.. ( except for stripping2 and whoring)..
ok la.. dah more than 30 mins already... ciao..

Knock.. knock

Hmm.. Its Friday.. the 2nd weekend of the year..
am spending too much money for houseehold items.. which .. on 2nd tot, I think its a need to buy em.. ( due to my lazybones syndrome).. but on anthr tot.. why am i spending like i am the Bung Mukhtar's 2nd wife (oopsss) daughter? ( motif masuk nama Bung Mukhtar kat sini? hahaha)
but then ok la.. now i have time to 'swing' while watching tv ala2 menyanyi lagu ikan kaloi.. while listening to the vacuum.. doing its work without any supervisory of the house owner... well.. its gonna be very soothing to the ears from now on without me having to sweat sampai ke ketiak.. heheh
owh well...
rather be a reader than a writer..
yes i would.. if i only could... i'd surely would..