Dear Cik Sri Siantan

Seriously, I am so so not in the working mood. Every morning, when the alarm in my mobile starts singing Akon's Lonely (see? betapa patetiknya aku), my heart will start feeling so heavy. Its not that I prefer the coziness of my bed to the mundane daily routine tat i have to go thru before i opened the door of my house at 7.20 am
Its just dat....I think I need a change. A drastic change. not a few days leave ( I swear I m gonna be restless after a few hours doing nothing , looking forward to sitting on d chair in my office room). *sighing*
I think its a normal thing for women who r still alone at this age. No, no.. i m not complaining as I believed, jodoh itu di tangan tuhan. Not dat I haven't made any effort to seek for my Mister Right, but then, at tis age, I m not so keen to dat anymore. Am hoping that there' ll be some men who accidentally cross my paths on their way to KFC downstairs, kah kah!.
Ahh,, besides I have tonnes of work tat will never reduce no matter how hard i tried to finish em. There 'll always things to do, even tho the studnts r not around. Papers to write, numerous workshop to attend, lectures and talks to hear bla bla bla.
and other things like my never ending health problems (tho i used to ignore it la, pretending that i m healthy)
Masyallah.. jadi tempat luahan hati la plak blog ni.. cett!
sambung kije lah cam tu..

Not so monotonous Monday

This is the only monday dat I feel so relax, no deadlines,no studnts knocking ( more like bashing) at my door, no phone calls, I m so free,free like nelly furtado's bird, I must say.
No, dun get me wrong. I never hate mondays. There is never a manic monday to me. It always end up as productive mondays to me, because its the first day of the week. U start yr week, by going thru mondy, and for that the energy that u need to obtain for the rest of the week, has to be initiated from the 1st day of week which is the Monday ( best kan theori aku?) again, am impressed wth myself.
So, today, I am safely ensconced in a big leathr sofa at my bro's. The feeling of not going towork on monday, is undescribable. However, being a dedicated worker,I have brought 2unfinshed thesis draft of my students, 2 nttah-hapa-hapa- yg dorng tulis, sampai aku rasa depressed bila baca, ( but still i managed to correct all the grammatical errors, plagiarism text that they copied from non-mentioned sources.
The funny thing is, I dun have any mood to read any reading materials except for the students' theses. I have stackof novels that i havent opened yet, and with the only free time i have now, I am supposed to read em,no pressurre, no nothing. Tapi, apasal la aku malas sangat nih! haiyaaa
I cut my hair yesterday.with the assistance of a girl at one of the saloon in KD. hence,the head feels lighter today. Best best. Last i cut my hair, was 6 months ago, when i was with a cast and a sling on my left arm.
Eh, wat else is new la?
owh.. am thinking of merayau2 to any nearby shopping complex, but the nearest shopping conplex from tempat jin berendang ni pun is very far way ( to me la). ie The Curve ( not my fav place tho), Tapi.. it feels boring to explore it all by myself. need a companion cam Kak Sab tu, who will cheer me up everytime. Arghh.. talking about them,apa kabo la si Zura who has hurt her ankle last friday? Havent sent her any condolence yet, Cet.. kawan apa la aku nih..
Hmm..received 2 sms already from a student who wants to see me today. Eh.. aku on leave la.. tis is one thing which actually cud ruin my happy mood. Can inot be distracted with any thing from the office while i m trying to enjoy my not less than 24 hrs freedom ?
Can they just forget my presence for at least one day? what do they think Iam? a robot ( well ok, a cute one maybe) who wil serve them 24/7/365?
Please.. its been weeks since i last smell the fresh air after the rain. I dun even have time to check on my fine wrinkles which is forming more n more on my forehead. I havent socialised for a while, i mean a 'long while' , well a trip to Ampang Yong Tow Foo with the family last nite is not my definition of a 'social outing' . at 40,sometimes i think I need ppl to talk abt watever things under the sun except work.maybe a movie outing will do, seriously,i need to clear out my mind a bit. I need a vacation ( d one tat i dun need to eat along all d time). Boleh gitu?
I rest my case.. sakit belakang lak dah..

Thank GOD It's FRIDAY

Seriously, i am sooo impressed with myself. I ve updated my blog after 3 days.. seriously unbelieavable. In eSaWan, i have to be careful with d words, have to count every word i type so dat it wont exceed 1000 characters, yeah.. it did limit my creativity. I used to write lotttssaaa craps, ranting n rambling like nobody's biz.
ok la enuff abt it. in here, u dun have to worry wat other ppl think abt u, or 'brand' u. Nobody cares abt anyone here. I care abt no one here. nobody knew me here and vice versa. even Ida is not my real name. My real name is actually, Puteri Pucuk Kalumpang aka Pucuk Selom hahaha.
erkk.. not funny at all.
Starting today, I am now a proud owner of my own humble abode, di atas tanah yg sekangkang kera, tapi tetap la akan jadi umah aku jugak. I ve signed the S&P for the apartment. ye, hanyalah sebijik apartment yg berukuran 1045 sq feet, tapi cukuplah untuk cik kalumpang ini menumpang teduh daripada panas dan hujan juga tsunami keh keh keh.
and huwaaa... esok kena jaga exam, on saturday,, sungguh patetiknya.. but then i m eligible for one unrecorded leave on monday.. so rite after exam, im gonna rush to KD, Abg Li's still in KB. the last time i went there was like monthss ago, so harus lah aku pergi melawat anak2 menakan ku esok setelah sekian lama.
am still bz with the task of reading the studnts's thesis draft. still got unfinished 2 on d table. been engrossed with applying a grant for the greece's conference. ohh Acropolis, i ll be coming to u in August. Just wait for me!
GOd! i really dun understand myself, I can sit n watch these ppl blabbering abaout AF , watching loyally every AF diary, but I never wanna watch their concerts. Tis is the 4th week , and in d concert, i dozed off in the begining of d concert and only able to wake up when they announced who's gonna be voted out. never liked it tho
(mati la aku kena hentam kat pengundi AF)
arghh.. i m leaving. not gonna apply d eyecream at nite anymore, The eyes looks so puffy in d morning, well maybe its my imagination.. maybe i m meant to look ugly in d morning. well not only in dmorning, i m meant to look ugly all d time.
ces... inferiority complex dah plak...
tido la..
Nite!

Am Back!

Yes, I have given up on the eSawan, and Im gonna concentrate on this abandoned blog from now on. I ll write from time to time ( if i can remember my id n pw to open my own blog hahahah) and yes, i ll survive ( pls read it like u r singing the Tina turner's number, or is it a Celine Dion's? hmm wuteva! yes, i went to my rheumy yesteday ( for those who have no idea wat is rheumy, its an an american abbrev for rheumatologist. For those who still have no idea wat is Rheumatologist, i can only tell u, its related to Rheumatoid arthritis ( for those who still dun no wat is RA, haiyaaaa.. takgheti2 nak pi check kat wikipedia? my blog is not a walking dict-blog okay!
Shud I tell u about myself ( as i assumedthere r a few people who r gonna stop by and peek into my blog, its been neglected for tooo long, and with tis dull, unattractive blog-drop, i m sure not many will accidentally come across tis blog. Ok la, remind me to seek for a sifu regarding tis matter.
complained to my favorite rheumy yesterday, dat i ve been having frequent headache lately, and since my BP is so normal, regardless my mild hypertension, i have to blame it on my stressful days at work. No.. dun get me wrong, I so love my work, i love to feel d adrenalin rush whenever i have deadlines to meet. But when u r always in a hurry over yr meal break, and u got 9 missed calls if u leave yr cell phone in yr room when u r out for 1/2 hr.. or u still have to give consultation thru yr phone when u have put a big notice infront yr door that u r on medical leave... or when u r so looking forward to watch a movie with yr 2 best frends during working hrs, wat dat supposed to mean la? or when u started to feel annoyed bcos u read craps in other people's blog when they r able to update for like 2-3 entries in an hour, and their entries r so stupid dat u feel like lashing yer sharp tongue aka condemning them ( remind me not to do dat, last time i did dat, in ekawan, i regretted it so much for being so nosy haha)
ne nong ne nong.. writer's block alert! aka laziness is tagging along. now, will u excuse me, i need to have my beauty sleep now, need to put some eyecream some more..hahaha.. cam hampeh jek aku.. so so metrosexual nowadays kah kah kah
Till next time

Seribu tahun

On the way back to my bro's house, inside his Grandis, my 2 nephews, both age 13 n 15 were discussing abt a few songs that they have dloaded into their shared PSP ( well, being an illiterated auntie, i was so amazed that besides its function as a portable playstation, it can also function as a MP3 player, and we can even access to internet. whoa! so one of the song is Imran Ajmain's seribu tahun. and as usual, me, a 'never bother wats the latest song on air' aunt, i sorta asked em? who is Imran Ajmain? Afif ansered " laa Che Ngah ni, yg nyanyi lagu 1000 tahun la!" whole shaking his head, he must be amazed, me his so backdated auntie, hahaha. so i asked him again?" lagu apa tu?, tak pernah dengar pun!" well, cant blame me, i rarely listen to any song in radio. neither to any songs that they played in whichever place lately. well my q wasnt unansered. they pretended not to hear it mebbe. or they were too engrossed wth the PSP. Kids nowadays. they dun even knowhow to play the traditional games which r less complicated n more fun to play wth eg congkak, selambut, kites etc.
so back to Imran Ajmain, back in my workplace, i tried to google the name, and i found tis song. yeah.. ikinda like it, even tho im not the mellowy type,, yikes. owh well, with this kinda rainy mood, (heavy downpours outside), listening to the song, brings some knda nice feeling, u know, picture this, me curling on a L-shaped sofa, sipping hot chocolate,tucked wth an intersting chic-lit novel, wahhh! bliss!

At last

Finally, i found my long lost blog back. amazing, how internet can trace it back, after all these months. well i did try to look for it last time, typing every single key word tat i think might be relevant to my blog, but, to no avail. and today, maybe it's my good luck after been thru a series of unfortunate event in my sux life previously, and here it is! still with the same title, and none of the prev entries r missing. Hmm come to think of it, maybe its high time, i m concentrating on tis blog once again, rather than ekawan. i guess, some hidden feelings are safe to be poured out in ere. so.. till next time..

a blissful siesta

This is supposed to be my entry for the ekawan blog *still in rage*. as that blog only allowed entries with less than 1000 words, it's gonna be ashort entry. so here it is..... jeng jeng
ok, so i just came back from the world of unsconsciousness aka dreamland. Its not everyday that i or we can take a long siesta.There were times when i was safely ensconsced in my inner chaotic sanctum of mine aka workplace, i dream of putting my head onto the fluffy pillow aka bantai bucuk , rest my feet on anthr pillow, dim the room a bit and straightly doze off . So tis afternoon i ve made an opportunity to take a nap ( a long one i must say, just after having my lunch..hehe).I straightly fell into a deep slumber as my thick skull touched the pillow ( I am at my bro's today), and my siesta went on smoothly tho at times i ve been interrupted by a series ofwar session from the next room. i was fully awoke 3 hrs later due to my lil nephw's pitifull lament from the next room and i m now as fresh as the mountain breeze could be.*dancing on my feet*

the mind ranting

Ok.. so i have been neglecting my blog. Its ok tho as nobody is reading it except for a precious one or two ppl heheh. besides i have developed anthr blog at ekawan so i m taking turn to write in these 2 blogs, not that i m a true blog writer cos i only update it once in an orange moon (depends on my mood)
besides i was stuck in kelantan for a week ( stuck is a strong word tho), did nothing due to my careless foot act ( i had an ankle pain in KB)
Life is not bad tho, after a vague relationship with "u know who" i ve set out my wings , preying for other victims * giggling*. The things is, i dun think i can save my relationship anymore, on the top of it, i have lost the feeling, the warmth towrads him, the euphoria when thinking of him , the impatience to meet him everythime. its all over, in one nite ( ok.. its more than a nite actually). wat i have for him now, is all bland, im not looking fwd to meeting him anymore, i feel annoyed everytime he appears in my tot, irritated when i think abt things he did without informing me, infact im sooo over him now and im not gonna lick my wound, feeling sorry to myself, shut my life in a room bcos of HIM. he's not worth my 2 cents pun, and yes, I dun intend to put a block in our frindhip. he's still a fren for all i knew, he still does his favours whenever i asked him to
there goes my love life, dumped into a thrash bin after ermm 4 months? wow.. tat fast.. tho deep inside i somehow regretted all the lucres and energy wasted in tat r'ship.
im happy now, for the life i lead, for the live i went thru, for the experinece gained, for the time loss, for the good and the bad, yipeee.. i ve become a real human at last!
carpe diem!

one crappy email

a few minutes ago i receives an email from a friend cum exbf cum mentor cum ntahhapa2. he, by all means only replies my email once in an orange moon , yet he made me as im the one who shud be blamed here for not keeping in touch.. so this is my anser to his poorah email...

blah le pakcikkksuka ati moyang tiri jiran dia jek nak balas ke tak balas email ni.. skit2 sampai ati.. as if i were the guilty party.. dia yg tak balas email sebenonya.. bukan kita atau mereka2 yg kat luar bangunan parlimen tu

btw, im going back to KB tomorrow for a week.. bosan duk sini.. kawan tadak.. penat pun penat.. penat perasaan.. huhuhuh

anyway.. sesi showing off ni.. i ve purchased meself a laptop with a built in wireless.. so most weekends i ll be at BU wireless-ing away from particular locations such as dalam toilet, atas tilam, atas sofa, bawah katil.. as i am WIRELESSLY connected.. yeah.. bangganyaa

to add some more 'boastiness", they have given me a free webcam when i purchased that 'baby" ( im calling my notebook as baby nowadays), so lately , whienever im online, i ll make sure that the webcam is on and I lll either capture any static images infront of me ( and that is include tudung saji, mugs, tombol pintu etc), unfortunately i m still webcam-shy heheheh

so.. till then , im off to tanah serendah sekebun bunga early tomorrow morning..

and pakcik...

blahhhhhh la lu.. u never keep any promises of yrs.. maleh dahhh

P.S im back to single status now.. bosan bosan bosan..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "udin aziz"
To: sitisifir@hotmail.com
Subject: Memorandum Toklehtarikbalik
Date: Fri, 27 Jan 2006 07:05:23 +0000
>SAMPPPPAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII HATIIIIIIIIIIIII...senyap terus...
>sedap nya syoru padang raggut sampai lupa kat kita di Gua
>Tempurung...mak tiri pun tak bikin cam nee... so bila nak kunjung
>balik ke Bandarhijau...Rinduuuuu...cam nak com.
>Muaaaaahhhh>



oh watdda heack.. if tis is how u wrote to a professor, dah lama dah aku kena buang daerah.. but then serve him rite.. heheh

the 18th niece

so the saturday has come again.. yesterday, kak ina has delivered a baby gal at 4.59 pm. whom weighed 3.69 kg at Pantai medical centre. Ergo, abg li is now a proud daddy of Puteri Aina. ???? (the 2nd name is not decided yet). being lazy and demoted as usual, tho its not as bad as the manic wednesday, i ve succeededly in updating my prev lecture notes ( i have made it a bit colorful, with pictures and all, anthr smart attempt to assure the students wont be dozing off in my class, heeee)
anyway here i am, at abg li's , wireless-ing all the way from its living hall, maybe i shud try surfing from the toilet next time hahaha.
amal is now beside me trying to peep into what his che ngah been doing, hehhee and in the mean while he's been to n fro from the kitchen ( now he's doing some gargling sound infront me nyeh nyeh)
anyway, far has invited me to her hse tis afternoon, and i ll be having m lunch there. looks like nobody is gonna send me over, guess i ll be taking a cab then. and tomorrow, is aleya's bday.. and oh btw, the u know who picked me up from my hse to bu early tis morning and thru the journey, we didnt talk at all. I dunno, as i ve been so bluntly sent him smses, nasty ones actually, accusing him for being manipulator, etc.. ( i know i know.. i shudnt have said tat) but i was furiously mad at him for neither replying my smses nor ansering any of my calls) yes.. i told u i m very temperamental.. so.. being so frustrated yesterday, i went up and talked to Mrs H for a while in her room and the accompanied her to lunch ( i had my lunch earlier), so when i came back, there were 2 missed calls, one from him and anthr one one was an unfamiliar no.. he called me again afterwards , informing that he's picking me up tomorrow..
well i ve told my single mommy housematey that iwont be talking to him.. its gonna be a silence journey.. and indeed it is..
and last nite i was back to my old habit, chatting til the wee hr, infact i called China for 1 1/2 mins.. bad bad me.. i shudnt vent out my anger by having rebound relationship.. ooooo im so so badd..
wat shud i do la.. shud i continue tis relationship.. or shud i give him antnhr chance till march? ( after all tat's wat i ve told him when he started courting me)..deep inside i still have this affection towards him.. but ... arghhhhh....
i ll say no more...

the imbalance hormones

I dunno why but this is the most dullest day in my life ( maybe i shud blame it to my imbalance hormone or 'tis time of the month". I dun feel like working and i actually have set it in my mind ( since last nite) that I m not sitting for hours in that crowdy office ( who am i kidding) and i need some spaces and go out exploring (literally saying that I feel like ponteng kije today heheh)

so when its not working as my mind planned, i ve gone a bit haywired. I have become a capricious person.. yes! tats' me . im changing from a very nice, timid, kontrol ayu person to a very nasty, irritating, 'cari gaduh' and jaki jipang lady.. whoaaaa...

so these are the things that i ve been doing for the past few hours.. ( yes I m baddd )

It all happened after i tried to write an article tat need to be submitted to any scientific journal out there ( im stll struggling to write for just a few lines till I discovered that Im too lazy to dig into any previous reports of mine, so i left it hanged, like i was having a writer block or something..)

when im bored i ll play with my hp, trying to figure out any potential victims tat will take pity on my boredom..

the 1st sms to a potential victim sounded like tis " im so booringggg today. No friend to talk to, no activity, unable to go anywhere too.. tis boredom is killing me.. helppp"

so when this potential victim (PV)ansered, he was actually trying to console me, "go and rest at home then"

Yes, he's into it now.. the 2nd sms -" nope, i ll feel guilty afterwards, no good no good, why dun u pick me up and we ll have lunch somewhere, *batting my eyelashes*

PV: im afraid it is impossible, traffic jam kat KL at the mo.. perhaps some other time

Me: ok.. nvm

abt 12 minutes later - my 2nd attempt. ( dun blame me.. u cant expect my hormone will return to normal after 30 minutes)

me to PV: Iam so boring I feel like crying. I miss my days when i was in bandar I before ( fishing for sympathy)

PV: sabarlah..

me to PV: Dah le i dun need any consolation. let me wallow in self pity. Bosan.. boring.. bosannyaaaa

PV: So wat can i do to ease yr boredom? tell me? ( ok i ve to admit, PV is dementedly worried now, he might think that i m gonna jump from the 13th floor due to my boredom)

Now, i was exaggerating..

Me: just ignore my rambling. Im bored with my life too. Nak balik pun kena jalan kaki. Bosan!There's no progress in my life. There's nothing dat i can be proud of. I am so depressedddd ( ok.. so there's a pinch of fact in it)

PV: lets get married then.

Me: Nak kawin ngan apa? except for your car, u have nothing to offer me. Im bored with tis relationship. I shud have told u long time ago.. bosan bosann

yes, i am a bit**. I know, i shudnt have said tat.. but ... ( its unexplained)

PV: enuff said. Even if u dun need me anymore, u dun have to insult me. If i cant make u happy, sorry.. but please, dun say hurtful things. be considerate. Go find life that u wanna be in..

Ok.. I should have stopped here, but i did not. I went on and on letting out everything that have been mounting up in my mind for these past few weeks.

I ve succeeded in hurting him, mentally.

but i m so relieved now.. these things have been bugging off my mind for days.. I wanna tell him tho I knew , we will end up hurting ourselves.. *sighing*

and Im still blaming it on the imbalance hormones...

wat should I do now? Take back my words?

I am a BAD woman.. (can actually picturing Michael Jackson singing his voice out, "U r bad u r bad" while pointing his index finger to my face)

yes, I m more than tat.. Im WORST!

Its my Life..

First and foremost...
I m feeling sleepy again.. its 3 pm and i m thinking of the other ppl's blogs which i envy bcos, i found out that lotsa bloggers have been leading hectics and glamorous lives and me here, i dun have much to tell..
Come to think of it.. I shud have been grateful.. no need to get jealous with other ppl ( tho deep in my heart, i am.. indeed)YET...
i am grateful.. for waking up each morning , thnk GOD for still giving me a chance to breathe the fresh air..( i cant complain for the painful/ swollen ankles tho as I ve been 'in' it forever)
i am much indebted for HIM, since being the unhealthy and weak person i am, i can still obtained my highest achievement, regardless my sorrow, tears, agony etc via living with RA for the past 25 years.
A blessing in disguise....
the memory of me in a wheel chair , wallowed in my self-cocoon, depression surrounded, they r still fresh in my mind. Its been 15 years tho, when i have to set foot again at the univ, being the first year again for the 2nd time, being alone for the 2 1/2 years.. it was not easy tho.. All of your friends are in their final year while u were still struggling in yr 1st year to catchup all the times wasted for almost 3 years...
The years followed when i did my master wasnt bad tho. I managed to do it within 1 1/2 years and did a 3months attachment in Seoul..
then the hardest years started again.. i went thru some natural catastrophes during my doctorate years.. the health been going ups n down during this time. but in the end i have made it..
and for all of these precious experiences and priceless efforts, I thank HIM..
.. and i ve finaly realised, i dun need to be jealous of other ppl's lives.. infact, mine is luckier than those victims in the neighboorhood country, this is my life as Jon Bon Jovi said,.. and yes.. this is my life...
to quote a Robert Frost's..
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference….

Rain Rain Go awayyy..

I always wait till the end of the wrking day to scribbled up something in tis blogga mine. I dunno, perhaps i love the adrenalin rush feeling, doing something in the last minutes. the actual thing is, i nvr did tat. except for the things that i may have taken for granted right from the start. so i am benefiting thse few minutes before the school bell rings to write something short and memorable.. hope Phil will be reading this...
Bak aka dad came to KL last weekend and we did send him safely via airasia ( i managed to confirm the ticket a few hrs before the departure, and tis reminds me of the POOR service of the guestsupprt service of AIRasia! a few days ago, after having problem with the transaction when i booked the tickets online, i tried emailing Airasia concerning the matter. and idid get a quick reply telling me that their staff will attend my problem asap. so i waited for a few days to no avail. I emailed again, and tis time with capital letters, but still i got no reply. Then i called its call centre, someone did anser my call and before i cud inform the details any further, i ve been left with the irritating ad voice in the phone for ages. as i was using a prepaid, i cant endure the wait any longer so i just hung up. The next day, i tried calling again and tis time nobody ansered. been calling for many times, and all i got was the autoanser and the ad voice over and over again. due to that i asked my bro to drop by at the Klsentral and asked the airasia sales counter there. Thank GOD, the ticket has finally been confirmed. I really hate doing thing last minutes, especially when bak too is involved in it.
so we went to KLIA and i had my CNY tickets confirmed as well at the airasia sales booth over there.
i brought along my male laptop to abg li's and while we were fighting over whose turn to be online, as afif wanted to check his emails and amir kept on listening to the group that sing 'numb" ( cant recall the band's name at the mo), i remembered my notebook can actually do the wireless thingy.. yeahhh... so it has detected two wireless connection ie are abg li's and anthr one , i think iits from the OU's. so i was happily browsing thru it, till abg li came back and configured my laptop to its wireless band.. ( not really literate abt this thingy..)
the next day, i had an early start to serdang, abg managed to find a room around tat area, which is close to my hse now, and he can only move in when the month ends,
anyway, currently he's been sending me to my workplace every morning and i still have to walk back home tho.. ( the good thing from my daily walk is, i d be able to put off a few kg , hopefully.. )
its raining now, and i m desperately wanting to go home before its getting too dark.. hmm which reminds me of.. my plan to start taking driving lesson.. been proscrastinating the idea for like 6 months alreday..
P.S heavy downpours out there still.. how am i going back? helppp!!!!!
“For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.” -Benvolio, Romeo and Juliet

The Male Laptop

when was the last time that i blogged? Hmm.. must be a week ago when i ve been very bored with all the undoneworks . ( gosh.. wat am i thinking, it only a 6 hrs-lectures and i ve been like, flipping thru every pharmacology books in the world)
Its not a good feeling tho, thinking of how am i gonna give a lecture infront of 70 smart students( not that i ve never give lectures before, but last time, i categorized my students as "not so smart" students, ya ampuun..so all the lectures have been delivered by not "100% well prepared me". i ve been thinking, maybe I shud attend some courses, regarding tis matter. and I will always have tis nervous and butterflies in my stomach feeling everytime i am giving lectures..
enuff abt that... so wat did i do for these past few days?
oh ok.. i m now a proud owner of a "twinhead notebook" (beaming), and i ve been exaggerating to my nephews that "note book che ngah can do everything, its a wireless and i d be able to surf internet while sipping a cup of latte at starbuck.. hihih".. well its not news anymore as everyone has been doing that for the last couple of years, its the 'in thing' nowadays..
anyway, i dun find it impressive tho, when u saw someone with his/her notebook at any wireless zone,,they might have been chatting at that time for all we knew.. hahaha.. and to think that they looked so sophisticated, sipping while doing business.. duhh.. ( i promised myself i m not gonna appear in public with situation like tat)
when i told David that i ve actually bought a brand new laptop, the conversation went like this .. ( ohh.. btw David is actually a friend of mine who's building lotsa digi tower all around msia so that digi will get more ...coverages.. hurray to DIGI..)
D: wat brand is yr notebook?
Me: a Twinhead
D: so U bought a male laptop? hahahaha
Me: ?
D: well, its a TWINHEAD for heaven sake
Me: yes.. so?
D: so its ubiquitously a man's possession.U know the one that is already there when a male is born..
Me:Ok.. so everybody got a head when he/she is born.. its not only for a male..
D: well.. a man is born with 2 heads,, which is a twin la..hahahahah
Me: (still confused.). and i still dun get it.. cud u at least xplain it in a simple english.. or am i the dumb one in ere?
D: well.. a male has a nthr head u know.. in malay word they called it kepala.. *****( sensored)
Me: ohh... oh well.. ( embarassed) trying to stiffle some giggling sounds..

so tat was it.. i am a proud owner of a "male" laptop.. and i shud be proud of it.. yayyyyyyy!

the 6th day of 2006...

Greetings.. and 1st of all. happy new year 2006 to each of us..
may this year brings u many many prosperous years ahead, tremendous life ever..
any way.. i m at work, trying very hard to open my eyelids..and behind me, i can hear the kakak cleaners vaccuming the places all over..
sat.. nak beri laluan kat achi cleaners doing theirworks ..
oh well.. i have to admit, i m too lazy to update my blog nowadays.. there r things happened to me, tho, interesting-not-so mundane thingy i must say.. but then..
as i said.. I cant be bothered anymore..
other than going back and forth from work.. i ve other things to do, weekends will be spent lepaking at my bro;s in BU. ( i m not going back tis wekeend tho, as i ve promised myself i can only lepak there on raya haji.. dpends on whether kak Ina lum meletup lagi or not..
this nasik tomato which i had just now.. has made me so sleepy.. i went outside for awhile just now while waiting for the cleaners to finish vaccuuming.. and i saw astrikingly psycehdelic green colored bas passed by infront the fac.. ( must be the univ bus), reminds me of my old days in UKM, when i did my masters there. During the 1st year, i decided to stay in the campus due to my health problem. when i was on my 2nd year, i rented a flat at sec1 BBB with kak aishah ( wonder where is she now), Transport in BBB in the 90s was quite rare, therefore we had to depend on univ bus. being me, to climb its 'tangga' was like climbing the everest. everytime i waited for the bus, i wud pray that the bus will have a lower tangga instead. There were a few undergrad students who were snobbishly insinuated me. jahat itu org.. bukannya nak tolong, ngata lagi ada le... anyway life in UKM in the 90s was indeedly an unforgetabble experience of the life time
have i mentioned that i wanna buy a laptop? my bro and i have gone thru some catalogs and hesuggested that i buy either dell or acer. I need a lighter notebook which is less than 2kg but then the lighter it is, the more expensive it ll be. maybe i cud decide if i just go straight to lowyat and willingly surrender under the influences of the sales reps recommendation.. the thing is,, i am a pc illiterated.. need some advice here tho..
im still yawning.. and i m experiencing anthr writer;s block now..hmm maybe i shud stop and catch my 40winks surrounded by these ppl.. who cares...

countdown to 2006

yes,, its been a long week tho.. and i ve opened tis site of mine so many times but at the end i was having writer's block .. so i just closed the site without scribbling anything in tis blog..
well.. in not more than 12 hours we ll be stepping to anthr year, 2006. infact i havent planned of any new year resolution yet.. but i have a few ideas in tis mind already.. ( dun wanna put it in ere) let them stick in this brain of mind till then end of 2006, and then, i ll let u know whether i ve achieved all those or not..
I had a bad day last week.. after berpoya-poya with abg, we went to morib and had my dinner there. and the next day, i got sick. kena ketulahan ponteng kerja kot.. or maybe i ve been slapped by one of those puteri bunian in pantai morib..
so we went to the clinic and the doc suspcted that i got gastric, due to all the synptoms, feeling nausea and all..
arghh i have to stop writing and continue later.. lotsa interruptions at the mo... the niece and nephews.. who else... erghh

Tis pathetic feeling....

so its weekend already. and as usual im back at BU. Its not that like i planned for but, the Single mommies (SM) housemateys have left for bangkok early tis morning. As I ll be alone in the house, I ve decided to follow abg to BU as he's coming to serdang too tis morning. so we left quite early, missed a turn ( like alwasy infront the kommuter station ), and we only arrived at BU almost an hour later. Tot of using the short-cuts la konon.. abg tho has to go to work at 9ish and only finished work 12 hrs later..:(
and its gonnna be a long 3 days( if i were left alone , without any agenda) . hmmm... isnt it weird.. a 30ish woman like me, doesnt even have any plan during weeeknds? eeewwwww.. sound so pathetic rite?
well thats me.. the pathetic ida.. who doesnt have any life other than her works..
hmm.. I need a new handbag for work tho.. but.. Im too lazy to shop alone.. not that i ll be needing 2nd opinion but there r times that i dun feel like being too independent..and most of my friends.. are all married.. have kids etc..
and again im feeling sorry to myself... sob sob..

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.. and the mood is ruined again today

I woke up with the worst pain at my left abdomen, and i was thinking whether the 'kidney stone attack" has struck back. 2 years ago , a week before i underwent for my TKR surgery, i had an undescribable bout of kidney attack, it was so painful and at tat time i tot that i ve cysts in my ovary ( based on wat kakfarah told me la). so tis morning i was a bit confused, whether the pain was basically from my kidney or my fallopian tube..as i m having my menses now..
so i slept back till 7ish, thinking of getting MC, but then, it doesnt make sense.. i have just started working 2 weeks ago, i cudnt take a medical leave just bcos i m having my menstrual pain..duhhh
anyway the pain fade off as i kiasu-edly took a ponstan..and as i ve been ensconcedly reading the chapters. he sms-ed saying dat he cudnt get the car today,,,
so the war begins again.. ( i really dun feel like writing wat we ve quarelled about) but the only thing that i cud recall in his sms, is, he dare to mention"kepala bapak" to me..
huwarhhhh... i m finished with him.. really... and tis time is for real.. i just cudnt take it anymore... ( well i know i m wrong ) but... my ego took over..
I D RATHER BE ALONE FOREVER.. hati pun tak sakit cam ni.. cesssssssssssss

The frozen sanctum

Guess wat! I ve succeeded in changing my blog template ( and i tot all these while they created it by themselves) yeyyy! and u can just dloaded it from any free blog tenplate sites.. ( budusnya aku selama ni)
Nothing much tho.. I ve finally made a pact with U -know-who. Come to think of it.. it's all started with a tiny incident, i caught him not going to friday prayer.. and it made me madddd like hell.. ( not that im pious or watsoever, but not to go to the mosque just bcos u didnt realize wat the time is.. is so so totally of out laymen's question. and I ma so so pissed off with that kinda men
so it was a 3 days silence for me, I wud have prolonged the period if he didnt start sms-ing me and made me roaring like a fierce lioness again.. grrrrr..
maybe im too choosy as he said.. and a bad tempered person like me.. nobody cud stand except him..
yesh.. he is defintely rite.. but how am i supposed to do? i was born to become a temperamental woman , but never i throw tantrums infront the respected crowds..
actually tis is more like.. keeping mounds of tempers inside ... any day.. it will explode.. and i feel sorry for the ones who's beside me when the catastrophe happened.. huhh
hurayyy.. my salary is banked in today... i ve only worked less than 2 weeks in here ( minus the hours that i went back early) and i have been paid already? kudos to the U*M
btw, im having dysmenorrhea today.. a mild one, but with me freezing here, i dun think i d be able to stand it any longer..
im still catching up with the antiepilepsy notes.. remind me of the early months i was in ipoh.. as I havent had enough time to do my notes, I ll just cut n paste it into my powerpoint presentation and tried to digest em along the students.. Its not me tho.. or else i wont waste a whole solid year just to write up my thesis.. aahh citer lama.. taknak kenang lagi dah ehhh
too lazy to climb up to the office. being here, i finally realised that there is no single facility within this level.. i need to go to 3rd level for its toilet, 2 blocks away for the meal, etc ( am not complaining) i dun want em to find this blog of mine and identifying its owner.. mati gue...

The mind rambling war..

Guess wat! tis is my 3rd week in UPM and i still feel a so so left out.. Dunno y.. cos last time when i was in ipoh, i only took a week to become 'normal' again. even just now, i heard someone mentioned my name and when i showed myself.. nobody seemed to notice.. uwaaa.. am i becoming invisible again?
I really hate tis feeling.. oh yes, i admit i am timid, very quiet person especially when i havent known anyone yet.. and I need ppl to start the balls rolling on first!
I cant make the first move.. and y? cos it so happened to be like tat ever since iwas in my mom's womb.. I cant just say hi to ppl that i only knew and started rambling like they r all my old friends..
I just cant!!
Tis is me.. and i feel so alone today..
and now that im working.. i m feeling so terrible..
It wasnt tis awful when i did my Phd in UM a few years back..
as I still have those lab animals that i can talk with..
even my jaw feels so tight cos i havent uttered any single word yet since i sit here at 8.20 am tis morning..
GOD.. i need to break the silence.. icebreaking moment..
Pleaseeeeeeee..
Im going crazy here...
help... and i mindesperate need of all those virtual chats so tat i can be myself for a while

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
maybe i shud make the first move.. ppl say to break the ice u shud bring some cookies and offer em to all of the members in the room u occupied..
Ok.. so watshud i bring then?
i want my ipoh colleagues back laaaa.. they r somehow r fun to be with..
ooo.. just bcos i m not an exstudent here.. never studied here..
and only came here to be a staff...they r all ignoring me..
are they.. or maybe im the one who looks like i dun want to befriend themm
hmmm...
and y at tis fossil age of mine, i m still having tis crappy issue that became a no 1 prob in my life...
how long will i take to adapt myself in here? 2 months? 2 weeks ( passsed already) or 2 yearss!
maybe i shud chew lotsa chewing gum so that i ll be a freindly lady to get along with..
but nobody has been complaining before.. and i have no prob with my 2 single mommies hsemates..
so why do i feel like.. i m the anne the orphan here..
atleast she has a rich foster dad..
ohh... im trying to digest the while text infront of me now.. but to no avail..
i ve been reading abt antidepressant.. and im now a lil depressed myself..
maybe i shud take one or two pills that looks slurpy enough in tis txtbook

yes.. i m getting crazy..now i knew.. y those plane crashed survisors on the isolated island get crazy after sometime..
and yes.. i might be talking abt the LOST, the tv series..
see i told ya.. i ve been jumping from one subject to anthr... and yes.. i might need the Faculty Dean to examine me..
and all i need now is a change of place.. maybe i shud beg dr Pat to give me the room which Hasiah will unoccupy real soon...
yes.. at least i can continue my habit of talking to the wall..
it will let my stress out a bit..
oooo... these ppl.. whay shud i do to make them welcome and talk to me like they talk to other colleagues?
uwaaa.... im idea-less now...
and i ll be having my lunch alone as well.. huh...
maybe i shud invite a few aliens from anthr planet to join in..
yes... the ones with green and red tentacles.. or the ones who can imitate trees when they r not moving..
maybe i shud have my lunch in their planet myself... so tat i can learn their warmth traditionally welcome to newcomers like me..
YES! the newcomer...
arent they suppose to organise a lunch for me so tat i cud feel welcomed?
arent theyy?
well.. if ever happened that there will be more new staffs coming laters. i ll give em a great welcome..
will treat em for nice lunches and will tell em how misreable i am during the first few weeks i was here..
yes.. maybe university shud introduce some subjects abt it too..
and i ll be the one who ll enrol the class..
yes.. i need to change my so cold manner to some warmth hearty huggable greets..
maybe i shud be a McDonald nya icon.. huwahuhwahuwaa

The weeekend's wedding

Actually, i was planning not to go home ( home is BU) tis weeekend. As i cud picture me lepaking again in the midst of chaotic house, with amal yelling , "umi... angah bukak ps2" and amir with his non stop "cikngah,, nak dengar ringtone'' urghh...
and maybe Kak Ina is bored with my presence every weekend, who knows..
but then i ve promised the old classmates tat i will attend liza wok's weeding reception tomorrow.
The only wedding that i m attending for the past 10 years.. hahaha
so the changed of plan.. i ll 'ponteng' kije tis afternoon ( by walking out early today la).. macam tak biasa.. as i need to catch various malaysian public transports to BU tis afternoon. Dr M will be proud of me as I ll be using the commuter, the lrt and the cab before reaching BU. ( bus will be out due to its disabled unfriendly stairs)
talking abt commuter, i had an awful incident last weekend during my commuter trip to KL sentral. ( remind me not to take a commuter at peaks hrs on weeeknds). I had to stand all the way to sentral, with all the congested passengers. and someone did manage to place his hand on my butt.. erghhhh.. and it so happened that the owner of the hand was a man whom i mistook for a boy.. he was so short and i feel like bashing his head afterwards..
grr..due to tat, i m planning to catch an earlier commuter today.. nobody;s picking me up.. how sad..
hopefully tis hip of mine wont give me so much trouble today.. i dun want to wake up flinching all day in liza's wedding tomorrow..
come to think.. am i really going to liza's tomorrow? tis is not so me.. the unsocialable me who always refuse to attend in any old school reunion..
and liza said, tomorrow is supposed to be anth reunion for the 85 batch as well..
makkkkkkkkkkk...

The Batik Day

It is not an awsome experience tho, being in tis inner sanctum of mine, surrounded by annonymous faces, while the air conditioned blowing straight at my face, i fee l so alone ..
there 's no more chatty me as I dun know anyone from here,( its hard tho making friends here, must be bcos they r in 'another' generation or i ve potrayed myself as a very timid and quiet person ( thus, no one dare to talk to me )
and its been a few days that i ve walked back all the way from the fac to home.. its no more a long trip, and i take abt 10-15 mins to reach home ( good for my health i guess).. I have a vision that within next few months I ll be come the next elle mc pherson yippeeeee...
anyway.. today's a 15th of the month, and its a batik wearing day.. thank God i manage to rummage my inorganised closet and found a few old batik attires ( tat i used to wear during my old school days).. so to day i am a "lady in hijau pucuk pisang" hehehe

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After a week..

so, here i am after a week working at a new place called UPM. Since they havent given me any work yet ( my life is revolved around registrar office, blok A of the fac and it always end up with me having my lunch and later walking back straight back home.. quite a tiring trip tho.) so I guess, i ll be really 'working' next week when i d already gotten a pc, since they have provided me the syylabus of wat Im gonna teach next sem ( and tat will be like, 2 weeks away.. gulp..)im in dire need of the precious pc,, how to create lecture notes maa.. if i dun get any..
housemates are all ok.. and since they are all single mom ( just found out that Za has married before, got a 2yrs old daughter who is living with her mom ) i ve been hearing all the tragic stories of their previous marriage and the evilness of their ex hubbies.
so, i am now having pre traumatic syndrome of geting married. Looks like the men in this world are all evil, referring to Za's ex hubby , a bit devilish to refer to Na's ex womanizing hubby.. erkkk
so.. the weekend has been filled with me, loitering at abg li's hse as usual.. and monday is a public holiday for selangor state ( told u, i ll be having lotsa public holidays when i m working in selangor)
atrip to Pj yesterday was a bit exhausting and feet-killing when i have to stand all way in the commuter and then again when the trip continued by lrt from KL sentral to Kelana Jaya.. so i m now having a post-pain with all my muscles feel like been hit by some sumo wrestlers.. luckily tomoorow is a public holiday..
went to OU with kak ina, had lunch at cafe1920 and we were like forgetting our times over there with crowds getting larger after lunch hour.
i m all out after 6.. tired and the shoulder blades is killing me ..
sigh.. and i wonder how other women can go window shopping all day without getting any physical pain...

all rest and no works....

hmmm too much lepak tis week.. if i m not going out, i ll be sleeping hours in the afternoon.. hmm bad habit.. ill be in trouble when i ll start working next week..
so i ve done my medical check up.. the doc wrote a lot in the medical report.. regarding my RA and certain deformities.. and i ve found out that i m a ctually a diabetic u waaaa..
lotsa sugar content in my urine ( and it wasnt due to me taking breakfast before i went to the clinic)
lotsa sugar.. tats wat doctor said.. ( no wonder i ll pee frequently at nite, and i tot its due to iced drinks that i took earlier)..
had lunch with abg at vivo in the afternoon.. and then he sent me back home..was mad at him regarding an incident before tat, so i let out my anger via chatting.. served him rite.. didnt call or take any calls from him..yeah.. i was so so pissed off of wat he tried to do to me earlier..and the next morning he called..
and i only ansered his call at the 3rd attempts.. so he said he wont say sorry before but he did.. even told me he didnt sleep a wink tat nite.. hahhaahah..
well this stubborn ida won again...

Not so new place ..

so.. i m in PJ now.. not going back to ipoh anymore.. went to HUKM for the yearly appt with ortho ( tho actually i m in desperate need of mc.. hehehe.. the ortho surgeon looked at my knee for a while , asked me to cat walk infront of his students, asked me whether i m not aware the existence of a piece of metal in my patela ( tho i ve disappointed him with my anser, i said yes hehehe), asked me wat i ve been doing for the past 15 months, and then he said that he wil see me again after a year.. and tat's it? luckily he did give me a 3 days mc as requested..
i was a bit disappointed tho during the earlier incident when i ve been called at the payment counter ( FYI one needs to pay RM5 for a folow up appt). the clerk, asweet lady ( whom i think is much much younger than me) asked me whether i have any kad kebajikan, so i asked her back? wat is that kad kebajikan for? she said " iya lah, dgn keadaan keadaan akak ni, akak tak apply kad kebajikan kak?" so iasked her again, do i look like im in need of any kad kebajikan? and before she cud utter back, i quickly told her, "saya keja, lagipun saya rasa tsaya tak perlu kad kebajikan tu, byk lagi org uyg memerlukan nya..."
and yes.. i m so so offended.. apala punya org main tibai jek cakap..
unless she saw me with crutches or i ve been wheeled ke, then she got point to say dat.. but i went there with my two big feets, except for a slight limp, which is nothing compared to those who came there, do i look like i need a kad kebajikan? infact i think i earn more than her.. LOL ( ish riak plak aku)
once i chatted with a paralysed guy onlineand he asked me whether i havs tios green card. iasked him wat is a green card? and he said its a special card for disabled.. i told him, my condition is not tat bad to request for a card and he said y not..
he never saw me actually..and im not trying to deny my condition.. neither fishing for any sympathy
except for my deformed hands, ( which they tot i ve suffered for a stroke, i just let them think i am ) , yes, i admit my mobility is very limited, i mean i cant carry things, cant climb, cant do sport activities, but apart than those, i d be able to do my works..unless for a parking lot.. i think i can manage other things, there r lotsa ppl who r less fortunate than me, and being me, i dun think i need some special attention. I ve difficulties to prove to some aircrew that i m disabled when i want to go in first, now do u think they d believe me if i show them my special card..oohhh im offended again..
maybe i m stubborn and still think that im anotrmal person.. cos im not..
i dunno.. i shud gove it a long tot abt that matter..
*sighing*

Last day in ipoh

so.. today is my last day.. and next week i wll be logging in from somewhere else.. after 1 1/2 years, i m not gonna touch tis keyboard again.. wont be staring at tis pc again ( with powerpuff gals stickers attached to the monitor), i cudnt stick my tongue out at miss khor anymore everytime she's bothering me... and i cudnt say "shut up' again to them whenever they talk nonstop..and i m not able to reply my fav line again everytime they ask me where to have our lunch.. couldnt say " lunch kat mulut la " anymore
Its hard to say goodbye especially when u r too close to them for these past 18 months.. we ve been doing everything togehther, went sightseeing to perak famous places on weekends.. anyway.. nuar will be shifting to MAHSA as well.. next month.. leaving Santi and Fz remain in tis college..
huwaaaaa... imagining myself not to be here starting next week.. its gonna be weird tho.. not to wake up on the same bed... taking bath in the same toilet.. rushing to work bcos Fz always wake up late... going to pasarmalam taman perpaduan.. to buy the delicious nasik kerabu from that akak kelantan.. uwaaaaaaaaaaa.. the memories is torturing me..
and i ll be in Serdang alone.. has to start from scratches again.. making friends again..
sob sob.. im gonna miss em..

Undecided..

uweeeeeeeee.. its thursday again.. and it ll be my last thursday in ipoh. Tomorrow's friday, gonna be my last friday in ipoh as well.. Finally i ve finished marking all the papers that need to be marked.. one failed, as expected.. luckily its only one. or else, i ll be pulling my hair off trying to xplain to the "high court"
I still havent found the lorry yet, to move all my things to serdand.. and today.. its a lorry hunt day..shud i just leave all my stuffs in ipoh, sell em ( so dat i wont need the lorry service) or... bring it all ( making it easier for me.. as i ve already had a bed, a wardrobe, etc)
hmmm.. ( a long thought)
i think i need to finish tis kuih bahulu first before opting for plan B..
yummy.. yummy..

Truce and UPSR

Im posting this new post bcos:
1. Im so deadly boring
2. I ve finished my works earlier and rite now I m so very obnoxiusly free.. ewwww
3. Colleagues have stopped asking me to do the programme's tasks , even today i was listed as the one who ll involve in the OSPE..but they asked another colleague instead
4. I miss abg so much.. looks like we have exchanged truce again.. ( the temperamental me triggered the situation, as usual)
well.. abg actually had good news to share, ( shud say he's in joyous mood today, cos he did apologise for his inappropriate manner the other nite), the twin both got UPSR results, the abang got 5As and the adik obtained 4As and 1B, not bad for budak kampungs
I didnt know UPSR result came out today, if its not for abang, then i called Che mimi asking for farhan's result. And as expected, he got 5As as well ( so now, he can actually go to mRSM Lenggong like he dreamed of before).. wats with lenggong actually la? Except for the bypass that will go straight to K.Kangsar/Sauk if we used the East west Highway, there's nothing interesting Pekan Lenggong. Hmm.. being Farhan, even his mom cudnt guess wat's inside his mind.. too cheeky and too smart for an old spinster aunt like me.. huhuhuhu
still fasting.. anthr day before I ll be raya 6 -ing. Im thinking of masak tomyam today, with macaroni.. huhuhu
I dun hv much to tell la.. except for the crappy ideas that wont fit into tis blog. my colleagues said that my mind has been wandering off lately tho the body is still here. Ada betulnya gak.. I m gonna miss em.. i knew i wud...
watever it is.. blogging goes on..

Hoorayy

so i ve finished marking pharm chem paper.. yippeee.. 6 failed ( thanks GOD its lesser than last sem.. ) but i wont be respnsible for the resit paper.. cos i ll be 250 km away from ipoh at that time.. ganesh will be handling it on my b ehalf..who cares.. heheh
had a mild fight with abang last time.. and he's hasnt called me till now.. haiyaaa..
i wont be lenient tis time.. let he call me and say sorry.. i m tired with his yellow jokes.. as if i have nothing in mind exceot that 3 letter words.. erghhhhh
.. tho its a bit quieter without his sms and calls...
nvm.. i ll survive..
4th day puasa 6...
anthr 2 days to go.. then
RAYA 6...

a full weekend

yesterday we had a very 'full' day.. went to 3 open houses and came back feeling like a fat cow. Drank gallons of water and ended up being diuretic LOL. Anyway thinking that its gonna be my last raya in ipoh..i m gonna cherish everymoment of it.. its not easy to bfrend ppl,, but in ipoh i have the bestest colleagues and we re really like happy family
it will be different when i m in UPM. I ll be so lonely ( can hear Akon singing the song now).. and miserable as usual.. ( it wont be so if abang is still around, I hope)
by the way , he's planning something and thinking of buying anew car, ( for the biz, tats wat he told me).. well lets just wait and see.. hmmmm
and today is also the first day of the final exam. started with my paper.. hope that i can finsih marking em within 2 days.. hahhh.. nowadays it seems like time is not sufficient for me.. i ve got lotsa things to do and plan.. but at the end of day, i ll be terbongkang on the bed as usual..
yes.. im getting old.. i can hear my bones crunching everytime i toss n turn on the bed.. duhh
cant wait to go back to KL tis friday.. but the top of all, the idea of looking for a new place to stay in serdang..make me so enthusiastic..
its sad to leave ipoh.. yes,, if its not for being so ambitious ( am I, hmm?) , I d rather stay in ipoh for the rest of my life.. but then.. yeah.. life goes on..yuckss..

Eid.. 2005

a week after raya. Too lazy to update tis blog, but then when i started reading other ppl's blog, semangat tu dtg berkobar.. huhuhu.. still got no idea to write about.. Guess i m not in tis blog-ging anymore.used to love writing where i cud write abt anything or most of the times i write in my minds.. got all the words right in this right brain of mine.. hmmm
maybe i shud start reading abt " how to used yr brain effectively"
so i f u have started fasting on 2nd syawal tomorrow will be yr last day fasting before celebrating raya 6. ( i ve just started today)
Selamat HariRaya 6 to those ppl.. usually elder ppl yg suka start posa awal2 ni.. the middle and the young ones like me.. will only start fasting within the end of syawal.. but this year, i tried to change.. hahahaha.. last 2 years, tak posa 6 langsung pun.. ilang cam tu jek dia bawa arus malas... heheh
my relationship with abang? hmm.. been on n off since malam raya.. and we ve been bertekak every alternate days.. maybe its just me.. or its him.. been so sensitive and me been so hard headed..
tah le..sambung len kali la plak.. mood gone in a sudden.. missing him a lot..
and i still havent packed all my things yet.. moving out is within 2 weeks.. huhuhuhu
Happy Eid..

Diwali

2 days before raya.. not much thing happened tho. And after a few days been in kg, i went out for the first time today, pi KB mall.. huhuhu.. abg li went back to Pasir Mas with his crewcabin.. so rasa aman skit dunia hari ni.. except for rafael and elsa yg sekali sekala menguji kesabaran mummy n papanya..
hari buat kek sedunnia, tho i dozed off all evening.. overall nothing much happened.. rasa damai duk kat kg ni.. suh bak pi alter jeans, unfortunately kdai repair dah tutup.. camna nak balik Kl nanti since aku tak bawak extra clothes..
called abang.. he's in alor setar, bawak anak2 pi beli mainan kat kedai depan, i could imagine.. pas tu he walked to the nearest bus station to go back to perlis.. in the bus, he sms-ed but i was too drowsy to call back.. when i called again, he has reached kangar..
im gonna call him later tonite.. rindunyaaaa
and i still dun hv the gut to tell ma abt him.. biarlah.. let time decides.. when he's ready (financially and emotionally) to marry me, I ll inform em.. but rite now.. no need.. besides, abg li dah tau my relationship with him..
esok.. last day preparation for hariraya.. and today's Diwali for the hindus...

Aku yang kacau...

Lagi 3 hari nak raya dan 2 hari aku kat kampung. Pasif jek kat kampung ni.. asyik melengkau dalam umah je. Nak keluar pun malas, kenangkan manusia yg semakin hari semakin ramai kat bandaraya islam ni.. Tapi yg bestnya time buka posa la ( walaupun semenjak balik ni aku tak posa agi hehehe)
Rindu pun kurang skit semenjak duk KB ni.. takder la treingat sangat, malam tadipun.. aku bengang semacam jek kat mamat tu.. demand yg mengarut2.. terus aku naik angin.. hari ni malas nak ingat pasai dia.. kalau break up pun lantak pi la..
kengkadang aku pun takpaham.. perasaan aku ni masih berbelah bagi.. sekejap aku rasa ok.. sekejap aku frust ngan keadaan dia.. jahat ke aku ni.. pikirkan apa yg trejadi pas kawin..
bukannya nak cakap aku perfect.. tapi ntah le.. pening kepala duk pikir.. last2 taknak pikir langsung.. boleh ke aku hidup ngan org macam tu agaknya.. kalau setakat cinta, takkan bahagia gak satu2 perkahwinan tu kan.. banyak lagi faktor2 yg menyumbang ke arah kebahagiaan..
ntah leerrrr...
baik aku pi tido.. layan chat pun dah malas aku ni.. nak merapu tak tentu pasal.. bukan aku der tu.. betul la org kata.. manusia boleh berubah dengan masa..
aku pun dah berubah agaknya.. kearah kebaikan ,, heheh

BLOG-illiterated

Sesungguhnya dari hari tu aku mmg bengap pasal menda ni.. nak cantik blog pun mmg tak der skill langsung.. ish.. mmg tak creative la budak ida ni..
pas tu lagi satu yg bermain di pikiran aku, ada ke org yg baca blog aku ni? Pasal.. dlu aku ingat bila dia hantar email bagitau one of yr blogs has been changed, aku ingat aku la yg bertanggungjawab mengubah kandungan blog tu.. tapi ada ketikanya yg aku tak updatekan blog aku sampai setahun, the blog admin kept sending the email telling the same line.. and ada jugak yg bila aku tak update sampai seminggu, it will keep on sending the email..
so persoalannya.. ada org baca ke blog aku ni? dan kalau ada boleh tak bagi evidence yg menunjukkan my blog has been visted by the "visitors' give some comment perhaps..
tho i ve to admit this is the plainest blog that I d ever created... jeles camna dia org leh include cam2 dalam blog depa.. dan aku takleh.. huhuhuhu
tolong danbantula aku yg buta BLOG ni..

Rindu yang sarat dan sienna Part II

wat a beautiful morning.. guess when i ve finished all the works, papers been marked etc, the morning seems more beautiful.. and I ve time to update my blog, besides, tis is my last day before going back for raya yipppeeeeee..
bercerita tentang rindu..
abang has been telling me so frequent, abouthow he missed me so much that it hurts.. and I tot it was just a phrase..
so now bila org cakap.,. rindu yang menyesak dada, or rindu yang sarat, they were actually referring to the physical pain due to tis longing..
hahahhaa tak penah plak aku rasa cam tu... rindu pada aku.. sekadar ingatan yg mendalam pada seseorang.. tapi takder la sampai termimpi-mimpi..
taktau la di masa akan datang...
tapi rindu sampai menghimpit dada... uishh.. and i tot i m having a sudden heart attack.. LOL
Tapi mungkin gak.. perasaan seseorang tu tak sama..
dan kata abg, bila dia merindui aku, perasaan tu menghimpit dirinya, menyesakkan dadanya.. hmmmm..
taktau plak aku kerinduan dia sampai ke tahap tu... huhuhuhu.. bangganyaa...

dan kerana perkataan rindu itu la, aku cuba mencari makna yang tersirat di dalamnya.. uish.. ah lama tak jiwang- jiwang.. so aku pun rajin la plak cari anything yang relate to 'rindu' kat dalam internet ni..

okeh jumpa. ada satu.. yang rasa kena dengan apa yg aku rasa or apa yg abang rasa.. aku paste dari satu blog.. ampun cik nazrah.. hopefully aku tak kena sue pasal plagiarism..

Ada Rindu

Tiada perkataan lebih indah

membicara rindu

sedetik kutempohi

kurasakanberibu berlalu

Bilakan ketemu lagi

asyik ku termimpi-mimpi

naluriku menyendiri

sepi dalam hati

Ada rindu dihatiku

asmaramu yang agung

Ada rindu pada yang satu

Semarakkan cintamu untukku

Walau tak bersua

tiada ragu dihatiku

panahan pesonamu

hatiku hanyalah milikmu

Hanya pada kamu

berbungalah rindu

cetusan hatiku luhur

Hanya pada aku

mekarnya cinta mu

Semarakkan cinta

yang kita bina

ke akhir masa

masih menyala

buat selama-lama

bersamaku

pinggirkan sendu syahdu

cintailah aku

hadir dalam ruang sepimu itu

posted by nazrah at 11:54 PM

agaknya itulah rindu pada abang..

aku nak tulis puisi? hmmm gelak kat org ada le..

i used to write poem when i was very young.. and i tot it was my best poems ever since.. i asked a few friends to read it.. and they said it wa ssuch a sad poem.. ( it was my intention pun to see whether my poem will make em weep).. and they did .. so i said to myself.. I m gonna be a poet one day cos i can write poems.. hahaha

budak umur 10 tahun apa la yg dia reti.. she tot she will excel in everything she did.. and 27 yrs later.. she was destined to be the only thing that she's never dreamnt of.. a scientist! hahahah kagum gilo makcik.. and the only thing that she can write now is.. ( with assistance from all the professors and lecturers) scientific articles!.. tu pun terhegeh2 kalau tulis kot english.. nasib tak direct translation jek..kakakakaka

itu le.. zaman dlu tak gheti2 nak pi oversea further study.. but on 2nd tot.. I knew i wont survive if i were there.. health being i meant..

therefore i do envy ppl who can write well.. huhuhu... my next resolution.. nak ambik creative writing course sementara masih hidup ni..

ok le udah udah le pasal rindu.. pasal ianya sukar utk diluahkan dgn perkataan.. sesuatu yg tersemat dihati hanya boleh digambarkan melalui perbuatan ( for certain people la)

dan rindu bagi aku... hmmm jap nak pikir

bila bau badan pada pakaiannya melahirkan perasaan bahagia di hati..

bila kata-katanya akan selalu terngiang ditelinga

saat mendengar suaranya , terlerai ingatan padanya buat seketika

bila tidur mahu diuliti bisikannya

bila bangun desahan nafasnya yang pertama sekali ingin didengar

bila berjumpa, bahagia bila dapat menyentuhnya walaupun di hujung jari..

tapi yg paling meruntun jiwa..

bila pandangan matanya tersinar perasaan kasih..

.. dan tamat le kisah jiwang-jiwang aku pagi ni..

abang tgh buat apa agaknya..melukis sampai pagi ke ?

ha..lagi satu.. erti rindu bagi ku..

setiap sejam call sidia.. (bergantung pada terma dan syarat)

kengkadang 2 kali sehari..

tapi yg harus.. sebelum tido..

ooh.. rindunya..

jao nak call abang.. hihihi

"How you feel is not the result of what is happening in your life - it
is your interpretation of what is happening." - Anthony Robbins (1960~)
American Author, Speaker

and now.. i m missing him so much...

lambat lagi nak jumpa, pas raya ni.. i ll try to go back on the 2nd saturday.. rindunyaaaaa

so yesterday, after we knew that the gaji has been banked in..everyone rsuhded to the bank.. withdrew as much cash as we could, and ran across the road to deposit it in maybank acc.. ( we re so much obsessed with maybank2u these days, as everything can be done at the tip of a finger, (tapi kengkadang nyampah gak bila kena tunggu lama nak dload its website)..

so yesterday was shopping day, being pauper most of the time we ve decided to shop at the UO which is just opposite the college. I bought a shirt for my dad, one for abang.. tho there wasnt any suitable size for him, he wears XXL.. i bought an XL instead.. so by hook or by crook he need to wear the shirt, make the stomatch a bit flat , put off weight a bit.. janji muat.. hahahah ganaih nya org..

I was asking his fav color when i planned to buy him the shirt.. and he said sienna.. being a stupid me, but a bit brighter at the other side, i surfed the internet searching for sienna color.. so i found these pics

now i knew wat sienna color looks like.. ada la abit macam earth color.. hmm cantik kalau ada kitchen cabinet kaler ni..

we had an iftar at d'polo with kak wan and anuar while the rest had their iftar at iqbal's hse ( me the shy one decline the invitation politely ) the food was nice and worthy for 19.90/pax. anyway i wasnt able to finish all those food, just a plate of nasi capur, with various kinda lauk, and one scoop of fruit salad, a glass of asam boi iced..

huhuhu.. nyesal tak makan banyak.. but my stomach will explode if i kept on filling it ..

jadi le tu... makan tu kena la berpada2..

Rindu yang sarat dan warna sienna part 1

uih.. semenjak 2 menjak ni.. bz kalahkan professor, bebduak ni plak tak gheti2 dah last minute cam ni baru berbondong2 antar draf tugasan elektif and expect me to correct em and give em back ASAP.. apasal tak hantar tahun depan terus.. kwangkwang..
pastu bila cakap tak sempat nak baca, mula la buat muka sedih.. dah le tu.. dah tau assignment tak siap, balik raya tu jgn le awal sangat, ni.. kalau boleh asal antar cacamarba jek.. pas tu expect aku gakk yg restructured balik dia nya tugasan.. tensi tul.. alamak.. sambung esok.. fz dah ajak balik

HariRaya countdown

or... its best to name it as balik kampung countdown.. heheh anthr week to go.. and im off to KB.. kampung here we come....
As yesterday was the nuzul quran day, we had a one day complete rest at home. and a day before , datin endon, wife of Pak Lah has passed away..
nothing much to spin the yarn abt.. I still have 1 1/2 mths in ere before leaving for UPM. thinking abt my realtionship, new working environment at a new place.. just dun feel like thinking abt all those...

Uwarghhhh

i am not in my greatest mood today (as if i m in my best mood everyday.. duhh).. seriously, while they were having a meeting just behnid my seat, i was gladly staring at the monitor neglecting all the issues discussed. I dun feel like listening to any agenda now that i m leaving in 1 1/2 months. I just dun hv the mood today uwaaaaaaaaa..
and tis morning before leaving to work, I saw dr shahdan on tv, talking abt gout.. ( one fav topic that i ve been teaching) ..
mybe its the pain, or the loss of energy, i just dun feel well tis ramadhan, its been on and off.. and today.. i feel like curling in bed, closing my yees and feeling the warmth of the blanket..
I am so tired.. helpp... tis kinda situation will occur to ppl with RA once a while.. very often to some of us..
now.. wheer was i just now? trying to digest what these students wrote about domestic waste, i ve been staring at the words while my mind is roaming off..
the throat a bit sore.. guess the viral hasnt been completely eliminated yet..and my feet has swelled to the size of a dinosaur.. huhuhu
Im not complaining.. infact ive passed the complaint stage.. so tis is my bad rheumy day.. have to go thru it no matter how..
how do i define my day today? ...
Glum...

Emotion and Mid Ramadhan

I wasnot in the best mood yesterday as I ( + the other colleagues couldnt log in to internet for one whole day), due to some technical problem ( as they said, and in the afternoon, we ve been told that internet isnt available for a week, due to the kokak main server , duh.. ) as most of us in the college are very internet dependance, duh.. life wasnt the same without internet.. hahahah..
so my behaviour was a bit weird yesterday, as they said, i ve been disturbing everyone in the office. There was also a majlis khatam quran and i didnt attend, segan i cudnt sit on the floor by myself alone.. huhuhuhu
the rest.. hmmm... after a long weekend, i really dun feel like working.. but work is work.. cari makan.. nak dapat duit raya heheheh
so when i woke up tis morning, didnt look forward for the day .. internet is still kaput uwaa... anyway we have the photo sessions with the students today.. and rite after the session, i just found out that we have gotten back the internet.. yeahhhhhhhhh...
i dunno.. maybe its me.. but it did give some boost for me to finish marking students paper..
like wast im doing now.. blogging rambunctiuosly... hahaha

my turn masak today.. hmm.. time to browse thru some recipes..

Grrrr

men and their egos.. I dunno y.. its so hard for them to beg forgiveness or saying something that we, women wantto hear. Yeah, i do hear the love word every now and then. But once we wanted to test whether they do love us truly or not.. they ll show their egos first!
And.. everything is ruined today. Its all started with I ( of course i have to act nasty once a while) tried to disappoint him by sms-ing him that i wont be able to go back to KL today. ( the reason is, I want to see he's begging me to go back no matter how, ( so, i m the cheeky one.. ) but he didnt. he even said that he got the feeling that it wont happen anyway.. yaeh rite! ( mistake no 1- so, he never think that i d stand to my promise, okay... ) then, we i gave him a hint, he said" buka puasa sekali apanya, kan tak jadi balik " Okay.. so still the nasty me.. I replied" buka ppsa pada waktu yg sama kira sekali gak le " then he said " ada buka posa kat kompleks kraf " ( mistake no 2- he ll go buka posa there, so i m not that important to him, wats with the " i ll pick up, buka posa together,and later we ll spend some time tgthr) ..then i replied " actually i m going back today, but since u want to buka posa there, fine with me, i can go back home by myself, no need to pick me up -- ada nada2 merajuk di situ, cant he notice that!)and he replied " OK!"
things a bit heated now.. with that OK.. i m declaring war!
the evil side of me is ubiquitously dangling on my head..then my next line was " I changed my mind. Im not going back tis evening as i dun feel like going back anymore" then the answer came " OK, u said it"
Its getting worst.. i wont surrender to his OK..
" U never want to me to come in d first place, I ll buka posa with my old flame then. he's been asking me many times, thats it!"
His reply" Ok. have a good time then!"
Fine. If Mohammed cant come to the mountain, We ll bring the mountain to Mohammaed..
My anser" Ok then, U have given d permission, i wont feel guilty then , next time im going out with him "
Serves him rite..
His anser " the pleasure is mine.. mine.. mine "
GRRR...
I d rather take a anap then...
His sms came back 15 mins later " wish u have a good time, Unfortunately i dun have any old flame, the only one tat i had is not good for dating.."
Tit for a tat!
my anser " OK, U said it"
His reply " Dun just say it, do it, prove it to me "
Ok.. how do we call that? a challenge? .. hmmm
My reply" As u wish darling, but dun regret it later "
he's getting over emotional with the next replies " I wont, u got my blessings. maybe u both shud spend the nite together,and while u r at it.. just give me a call to let me know that u r really having good time"
Hmm.. thats too much,, is it?.. ok.. i m not gonna explode..
" one good idea, but no thanks, Im not a slut! dun need yr blessing in d first place. I m a free agent, always!"
Silence....
so.. bak kata Ella, langit takkan selalu cerah.. wat were supposed to become a joke has expanded to one.. ridculous quarrel..
Hmm.. Ella ke yg cakap cam tu....
Im not in the good mood now.. Okay.. here's my plan, i m still going back to KL, wait for his calls or watever, ( depends whether nak jawab ke idak ) , i ll buka puasa in the bus, take a cab when i reached KL, but never.. call him to pick me up..
Im hurt... ( esp the part him wanting me to spend the nite together, with the character in my fib)
ok..i admit i m lying abt buka puasa with my ex.. ( tats wat women do when they want put someone on jealousy, tats typical wat!!)
but it will happen, on tuesday, I ll go buka posa with Dr Shah at heritage..
and men say they ll nvr understand women.. i m one good example..
but that's us! we were created to become unique, especialy on wat's in our mind.. ( something like bermuda triangle la,, unexplainable)
and i hate men today..
guess.. there some thing in men that u cant really change it..

Boring Tuesday

uwarghh.. bosannya.. i had a painful nite last nite.. guess the infection struck again.. the throat very sore and the body aching all over.. huhuhuhu
Abang was a bit depressed last nite as he found out that he's not qualified to apply any personal loan.. thus the plan to get married ASAP is finally shattered.. hmm.. when u ve gone thru many obstacles to get wat u dreamnt of, u ll cherish more when u achieved it.
still marking pharmacology papers.. its a boring day today...
my turn masak hari ni... hmmmm....

Great Monday

yesterday was the boring weekend that i d ever experienced. I dunno, blame it to the fasting month maybe.. ( macam le kalau makan tu boleh ilang kan boring), but the good things outta it.. i spent my time doing 'useful' things like washing my bathroom, organise my closet, mopping the room, baca quran.. hahah cam le bagus sgt..
the bad things outta it was, i kept on calling abg.. complaining my boredom and forced him to listen to my ramblings.. hahaha.. when i woke up after a long nap in the mid noon. woke up only to watch the boring melody.. as the hosts kept on blabbering.. wasting their arliur bulan bulan posa ni. called abang. he was working at tat time.. dia cakap.. haaa mengalahkan si tompok tido.. keh keh keh.. kiut gak.. comparing me with tompok the cat..
so i m so fresh n zesty today.. maybe i missed coming here after one longweekend.. at least in here, i can always rambling and teasing other colleagues.. hehehe
wat else la.. bz marking paper now.. and daydreaming in between hehehe

Working Saturday

not much hapepned today.. the college seemed so quiet as most of the students have gone back home to break the fast with the family. Fz's car cudnt start tis morning so we called anuar to send us to college. and tis morning is the 1st CPE talk.. cik wan has been talking abt her CSL and Pn azizah talked abt problems solutions. while we were at it.. Hj Sila were asking our solution to his personal problem, regarding his female offspring. something to do with her relationship with a non moslem guy.. so everyone of us tried to give some so-called opinion, I wud have relate my experience of having a converted sis in law in the family.. but then.. i guess it did include an age factor.. when u r matured and at marriagable age.. its understandable if u still wanna proceed to tis kinda marriage ( after listing out all the pros n cons, listening to the elderss personal views, and on top of it, they r ready to undergo such marriage.. as my dad used to say to my bro.. almost 10 yrs ago.. when he ask my parent's consents to marry his current wife " when u married a convert, u now have the big responsibilities to lead her to the right path, u ll lead her, not the other way around.. and watever happened in the future, its u who have formed the new image of yr wife, u ll be responsible for everything she did, is doing and will do in future. So, if u think u r ready for all those, I have no objection for the marriage (while my mom was weeping behind him)...
I guess, in every marriage there wil be risks and one has to face the risks no matter wat. Its part of our lives anyway. I, for instance am risking myself to ge married to soemone who is financially unstable and not even graduated . However i m willing to take the risk, i ve prepared for all the worst consequences, wat ever it is, it ll always come back to square one, its all destined. and mom always do have problem with her future anak menantu , hmm come to think of it, most of my siblings had problem with mom when they wanted to marry, except for Zuni and cik Mimi.. the rest, they r all not suitable for us in mom's eyes. I ll be the last one , and i have suffered from it already. and mine is " he's taking advantage of u " *sighs*. nobody is perfect to her, but the good thing is. she wont prolonge the matter after marriage, and she's willingly accepted all her menantus after marriage. I guess thats the reality that u ve to face if u have an easily influenced mom like our mom.. huhuhu

Bak is more rationalized and understanding tho.. ( he does hv flaws in other aspects) but telling bak wont be so dramatic compared to mom. but when it comes to these kinda matters, i d comfortably tell mom.. its more like a 'woman thingy" .. huh i guess i have to change my strategy then... thank God i ve told abg li abt it.. abg li can give some useful info to mom then.. hmm hmmm

wat to cook for buka posa later arr? shud go thru some recipes online then...

The Dull Friday?

I found out that my blog has become duller each time I wrote it. Not to mention that i am the only one who wrote and then read it, some kinda feeling of 'syok sendiri' blog.. hahahah
anyway, maybe due to my post pain,, ( i had a terrible pain last nite all over the body esp, the bones surrounding my chest and lungs.. heeee.. Prof shahdan did mention abt the high CRP will lead to asymptomatic chest ailment.. maybe the lung vasculitis.. ? ( need to check wat its all abt.. when it comes to medical term, i d rather read the cure for it..
There's no one in the office at the moment.. looks like the men have gone for friday prayer and the women.. either went back home, eating quietly in the inner sanctum or.. baca quran as santi is doing now.. Just finished creating qs for the pharm chem next week.. looks like these students are hungry for the tests and quizzes.. dunno what they r up to.. but come to think of it.. they wud have to study earlier.. no last minute revision then.. huh? is it?
its kinda cold today.. the back is still aching tho.. cant even chuckle, sneeze or cough a bit, itd surely hurt like hell..

Miss Loo said..

do i look taller? huh.. cam org pregnant ada le.. the dres a bit bigger.. at least leh org kata im getting smaller. posa baru 2 hari. dah put off weight.. cett

here's my messy table.. and the famous file rack.. ahaaaa.. lupa.. lagi satu.. my infamous book shelf.. len kali kita tunjuk heheh...khor gave me the powerpuff stickers when i first got the pc..

so they know me as the dr with the powerpuf sticker on her pc.. gave lotsa diff with other ppl's pcs..

opsss lupa... me 2 weeks ago.. with the infamous bookshelf..

While u were working..

I am still here, doing nothing (except browsing thru ntah apa2 websites, mostly other ppl's blogs, considering mine is not as good as theirs,, eeee dengki dengki..).. so in between reading ppl's blogs, i ve been forced to view a ghostly website ( some hse in Thailand, which u have to click everywhere to hear the sound effects, nak buat org takut la tu... i did give some comments tho.. for the worst n unsucceeded attempts to scare ppl off.. wooo hooo) and now Norul s been sending me IM to dl a pic, some delivery in the water, nak share experinece ni dgn DR.. haaa ye la tu... as if i have all the time in the world to dloading pics, not to mention the pornos, i d straightly vomiited for the 2nd time karang kang.,.. ha.. )
btw, afer an enormous meal of kari ikan, i gave khor an itinerarydetail of wat i ll be having for lunch ( cet.. dah le takposa,, siap tapau lagik tu), so she decided to measure the ikan goreng, ( after an hr waiting for her to bring back the tapau) , I dun have the right measurement for yr ikan, Dr, but there's an ikan that is headless, and not long enugh to fill the room in the polystyrene)... anthr insinuation, i must say...
Abang wud surely know wat i d be having everyday for lunch. as everytime he called me and asked wat i had for lunch, he's alreday know the anser,,makan nasik, ngan ikan, ngan sayur,, kuah skit skit... ikan either the ikan darats ie talapia, keli, bla bla.. and it has to be fried.. sayur? hmm.. ulam will do.. or any pucuk.. pucuk turi, betik, cekur manis,.. kudos to Ida.. hehehe
Its a bit quiet today.. dunno y.. maybe i vent been here since monday.. everyone is either having classes, tido, printing some recipes (Fz did tat earlier, and we have read the recipe aloud...)
Im not in the mood to mark the pharmaco paper, one missed the test, which i havent realised till today.. ok.. she'll take the test tomorrow..
Im dead beat...lambat lagi ke nak kul 5 ni... ?
Btw Loo said i looked tall today, due to wat i wear today perhaps.. abis dah takder baju kat bandar utama, rembat jek la apa yg ada, luckily i m not wearing tshirt n jeans to work today.. didnt leave any baju kurung over there... hmmm anthr 3 hrs to go.. hipefully fz is in the mood to go back early today... i need to find the better mood.. hopefully.. tomorrow's the day... uwaaaa malasnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Back to reality

i woke up with an unease feeling, like the day when i went to the clinic, maybe its the symptom of hypoglycaemia, i dun no ( shud enquire mom abt this). so konon2nya nak sahur cos I think I d be able to fast today ( awat le kalau time bulan posa, tak menyempat-nyempat nak cepat2 posa, jangan bagi period lama sangat), still feeling unwell, especially in the stomach. Vomitted once before going to KJ , need to buy the ticket first, aaahh cant stand the long wait while standing for the bus to come.
Anyway, Abg was supposed to send me back to ipoh rite after buka posa. Nak buat camna, kereta mati rite infront the hse, nasib belum masuk highway lagi.. I was so mad at him last nite... cakap pun dah menegking-nengking.. heh.. nasty me... but sometimes i think he tried so hard to please me that at times he forgot that things are not happened as we planned. so instead of snapping at him, maybe i shud blame the car LOL. i decided to take a bus the next day.. which is y i m now.. huhuhuhu.. i m back to work after a week leave... malasssnnnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... makkk
so thing will be going as usual... luckily i ve finished all the syllabus for the classes. so tadak la kacau sgt... i really dun feel like barking at the students during ramadhan ni.. so tadak kelas i dunhv to face them except the time they want to meet me...

a very tiring week

First of all, i m angry at myself for not updating tis blog, tho i ve lotsa things to tell ( yeah rite), so maybe i cud compile all the events that happened since last saturday and put it all in today's event. Cam tak aci la plak.. we dun want to hear the past stories,, but then, I guess we dun have any rules and regulations tat stated, anda hanya boleh tulis apa yg beralku pada masa tu jugak in todays event.. tak kesah le.. janji rock bebehhhh
so.. rite after i arrived from ipoh ( went back with a friend's car, tak jadi balik ngan train .. huhuhu.. here goes my 1st train ride),..
the next morning, there's a kenduri kawin ( an impromptu one actually, cos its all set up in one nite) at the neighbour's hse. Its a wedding of their friend's son. the bride is from UK, comei gila.. a HK chinese and english mixed. It was quite a surprised as we went to the hse in the morning and found that there's a pelamin and everything's ready. yang kelakarnya, they havent invited any guests for the ceremony yet, ye la.. gila pe.. kerja kawin been done in one nite.. shud appoint kak (the neighbour) as a wedding planner next time. We did tease her abt it... kak ana the wedding planner, a whole wedding package, with guests, complete bridal ceremony ( include pelamin, santapan pengantin etc) for any pengantin yg tak sempat nak arrange the whole thing.. hehhee best gak..
so when the pengantin arrived, 1/2 hr later, they put on the bridal suit, took photos zap zap zup everywhere, changed to antnr suit, makan pengantin... more guests coming, luckily i were able to sneak out in the middle of the chaos, changed to a baju kurung (cos i was in tshirt and jeans all morning) nasib le.. kalau pakai comei awal2 lagi ada harapan jadi pengapit pengantin.. hampehh..shud bring the camera too.. boleh tangkap gambar and put the pics in ere.. rugi tul.. i was joking with abg sani ( kak ana's hubby) that we shud ask TV3 to capture these memorable moments.. hahaa
so.. on sunday , i and abg went househunting. and we wasted a few hrs by following wrong routes according to the signboards. so there were curses etc, condemnin g the way they built highways and confusing ppl with their stupid signboards. we finally reached the right destination rite aftyer maghric, nothing much to see cos its already dark. had dinner at IOI mall, and missed anthr exit, so we went to the same route that we ve been to for the 4th times..
on monday, had lunch at midvalley with amal and kak ina. Abg li was there with his business associates, I didnt feel like eating anymore chicken till thge next decade ( after the wedding, i dun think i can see anymore 'ayam") but between beef and lamb, i d rather opt for "chicken' hahaha..
Syazana asked me to accompany her breaking her fast in the evening. after getting an hr nap, went to The curve and we have difficulty in choosing the place to eat. She wanted to have pasta, after a few pros n cons we chose cafe 1920's. not so bad,, while comparing which place had better pizzas, we decided vivo makes better ones . went joyriding to bangsar afterthat, and its indeed a joyride cos syazana bumped into someone's car..luckily, not much damage on the other car, but. syazana's car ( actually abg sani's ) quite bad. the bmw nya lambang ilang ntah kemana, and the front car, a bit messy. it was quite a bump, but we 'langsaied" it by giving RM50 to the car owner. ( its less than that, cos nothing happeend to her car. except dekat bawah ( dekat ngan plet kereta) je yg tercabut)
syazana asked me not to tell her mom, so terpaksa la berlakon, as syazana told kak ana that someone has hit the car when its parked at the curve's parking lot. asked him to tell kak the truth, but she said she wont be able to drive again once the truth is revealed, aiyakk.. i tat case i ve to play along la..
tuesday is the clinic day, i wasnt unwell since the morning, met abg at the hospital lobby as he has promised to accompany me, not much he cud do but his presence meant a lot tho.
A nice goodlooking doc tis time. felt at ease while telling my probs to him. there s a lump under my armpit besides the current RA of mine, so after undergoing embrassing physical examination ( wat to say, its his job wat, ) i ve been asked to make an appt wirth a surgery clinic, suspen gak.., cos a lump cam mean 'something" uwaaaaa.. hopefully its not the one that i m afraid of.. berserah ajelah..
tot of having a look at the hse in serdang, but the agent gave stupid reasons at the last minute, so instead of hsehunting.. we went carhunting LOL. abg wanted to buy a many many hands car 9( tat wont cost much la), we cant afford buying a brand new or a 2nd hand car.. dua2 semekin.. hehehe.
so at the end of the day, we didnt find anything.. today.. abg will go and see the car owner, if its still in good condition, i think we ll just go for it.. so abg will sent me back to ipoh tonite.. if thing goes as we planned.. yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

The Train Ride..

Its a very cold, lazy friday to me. santi has followed Norul to KL tis morning, even spent the nite at Norul's hse. If i were her, i may act like her too. knowing that yr car been wrecked by some adjusters who think they knew everything about insurance claiming, u d gonna be dementedly worried!
Abg has promised to come to ipoh after work today and we ll take a train to Kl together at the wee hr. Still hasnt succedded on contacting the ipoh train station, but i think there will be available seats for us. hahaha.. if thing goes as we planned, this will gonna be my first train ride yee haaaaaaa! with my beloved beside me.. yeahh.. it will gonna be a train ride to remember..dum deee dummm
We ll be reaching KL at 6.30.. perhaps take some brekfast first with abg before heading to Bandar Utama. Abg Li wont be in Kl till sunday evening. Might plan to go somewhere with Syazana tomorrow. Abg wants to spend whole sunday with me, and we r planning to hse hunt. There r lotsa things to do now with abg around.. hahaha.. cant wait to occupy the hse with him and the twin.. Hope the dream will become true early next year.. apa2 pun.. kumpul duit dulu....
The Rheumatoid clinic is on Tuesday. Abg has promised to go with me. hehehe bestt... having someone who is very concern and loving.. a visit to the clinic is always the most boring and dull event to me.. hmm.. do i need to bring along the paperback or not... now i have a talking companion going with me next tuesday...

Emotional imbalancing

Blame it to my PMS. or perhaps i woke up at the wrong side of the bed today. sooooo lazy today.. trying to mark soem students answerimg script.. but i managed to finsih one page of many pages only.. Huarghhhhhhhh... feel like lazing on bed... daydreaming.. Watching the pittering appetring of the rain drops at the window panes... waiting for the colrful rainbows to come out.. feeling the breezy wind on my face... i wish i were now somewhere in the middle of the field, in a hammock, sipping some fruit juice, with abang pampering me all over.. owwwwwwwwwww...
guess.. i got to land back on reality land now... i need a break.. i really do!!!

Katrina and now, Rita

Years ago, when i was not at tis age ( which i consider i m a very matured person at tis age, tho at times, i wondered abt it), i read an article about why hurricanes and typhoons are named as women's name. There are Betty, Lulu, Lola etc and lately i heard about katrina and there will be a Rita coming to Texas as well. they r women bcos thats how they interpret the women's mood. Chaotic, haywired like a hurricane. Unpredictable, unexpectable, worst out come bla bla..
Then how abt the men? I guess they wont name any hurricanes on a man's name. There wont be a John typhoon.. or an Albert Hurricane.. LOL
I monder how they get those names .. who give the names? Some men fella? in dat case, i salute him for giving such cute n gorgeous nicks to hurricanes.. hahaha
Anyway.. i m still waiting for an Edward typhoon.. I hope there will be one in the future..

I left my heart in Perlis

left for perlis at 10.30. Abg arrived abt 10, went to medan gopeng, picked him up.. and Perlis here we come..
Reached Perlis at 3 pm. sampai sampai jek terus makan nasik. feel a bit uncomfy.. have to sit on the chair whilst they served the food on the floor.. seemed tat they ve been informed abt my condition.. so i tried to b at ease. Food was superb.. all kampung dishes.. healthy as well..
opssss fz dah nak balik.. sambung esok.. bbye bloggie

Dalam hati hanya ada Abang

I think tis has gone too fast..I ve only known him for less than a week.. but now we ve been making plans and all.. For the first time I think I ve found my suitor.. He's a GOD send and the only one that I can think i can spend my whole life with.. His honesty and sincerity.. has melted me and it seemed like.. all my previous love affairs were erased from my memory
Now I understand y ppl can be so mellow and romantic.. and obsessed with love.. he's my soulmate.. i nvr doubt abt it anymore..
The feelings is undescribable.. the tot of him.. he fills every space of my mind.. i dun have the exact words to say.. but the only thing that I know..
I want to spend the rest of my life with u... abang.. Je'taime beau coup...

After a year

God.. its been too long.. since i started working in ipoh, i ve forgotten to write my blog anymore.. tho it keeps on sending me reminder to fill it.. so wat happened after a year?
hahahaha.. my wish has become true... i ve been too bz with my works, students and all..
and the most important thing is... I ve found him... YES.. him.. only a few days ago.. and he is the most honest and sincere man that i ve ever 'met" I know i ll be safe with himm..
lotsa things that i wanna tell abt him.. tapi lidahku kelu... he's he GOdsend.. he's all i wanted in a man..
finally i ve completely over pakcik.. tho he's working in teh same college as me now.. feel nothing towards him now..
abang has filled every inch of my mind now..
.......

New job new life..

Tot i ve lost this blog cos last fe weeks i ve bene trying to log in but it seemd that my blog has disappeared! so it surprised me when tonite i 'found' back my missed blog! Actually there r lotsa things happened this month.. First.. I got bz with my convo.. and then I finally landed for a job! Finally.. i m suppose dto report duty last week.. been procrastintaing it.. as i ve clinic appts and tried to change the incoming appt to tis week. moreover.. i ve to find a suitable/ comfy hse in ipoh.. so we ve been to ipoh every weekend fpr the past 2 weeks to hse hunt..finally we found it.. tho its not to 'cosy", after all its only a low cost flat.. but.. its very convenience.. i dprobably move to a better hse once i m safely settled.. it d be very lonely living alone withput anyone to talk to..
so.. today is my last nite in KL.. tomoorow i m going to ipoh.. settling down for a few days b4 starting my new job next wednesda
I ll be celebrating my merdeka day in ipoh in fact.. alone
....
HappyMerdeka day.. and a happy new life to me...
Perhaps i d be able to write again when i m in ipoh.. I m sure there d be a netweork in the college..
yet.. i wont be able to chat anymore.. esp at nite..
Ode to IRC