Guess wat! tis is my 3rd week in UPM and i still feel a so so left out.. Dunno y.. cos last time when i was in ipoh, i only took a week to become 'normal' again. even just now, i heard someone mentioned my name and when i showed myself.. nobody seemed to notice.. uwaaa.. am i becoming invisible again?
I really hate tis feeling.. oh yes, i admit i am timid, very quiet person especially when i havent known anyone yet.. and I need ppl to start the balls rolling on first!
I cant make the first move.. and y? cos it so happened to be like tat ever since iwas in my mom's womb.. I cant just say hi to ppl that i only knew and started rambling like they r all my old friends..
I just cant!!
Tis is me.. and i feel so alone today..
and now that im working.. i m feeling so terrible..
It wasnt tis awful when i did my Phd in UM a few years back..
as I still have those lab animals that i can talk with..
even my jaw feels so tight cos i havent uttered any single word yet since i sit here at 8.20 am tis morning..
GOD.. i need to break the silence.. icebreaking moment..
Pleaseeeeeeee..
Im going crazy here...
help... and i mindesperate need of all those virtual chats so tat i can be myself for a while
HELP ME!!!!!!!!!
maybe i shud make the first move.. ppl say to break the ice u shud bring some cookies and offer em to all of the members in the room u occupied..
Ok.. so watshud i bring then?
i want my ipoh colleagues back laaaa.. they r somehow r fun to be with..
ooo.. just bcos i m not an exstudent here.. never studied here..
and only came here to be a staff...they r all ignoring me..
are they.. or maybe im the one who looks like i dun want to befriend themm
hmmm...
and y at tis fossil age of mine, i m still having tis crappy issue that became a no 1 prob in my life...
how long will i take to adapt myself in here? 2 months? 2 weeks ( passsed already) or 2 yearss!
maybe i shud chew lotsa chewing gum so that i ll be a freindly lady to get along with..
but nobody has been complaining before.. and i have no prob with my 2 single mommies hsemates..
so why do i feel like.. i m the anne the orphan here..
atleast she has a rich foster dad..
ohh... im trying to digest the while text infront of me now.. but to no avail..
i ve been reading abt antidepressant.. and im now a lil depressed myself..
maybe i shud take one or two pills that looks slurpy enough in tis txtbook
yes.. i m getting crazy..now i knew.. y those plane crashed survisors on the isolated island get crazy after sometime..
and yes.. i might be talking abt the LOST, the tv series..
see i told ya.. i ve been jumping from one subject to anthr... and yes.. i might need the Faculty Dean to examine me..
and all i need now is a change of place.. maybe i shud beg dr Pat to give me the room which Hasiah will unoccupy real soon...
yes.. at least i can continue my habit of talking to the wall..
it will let my stress out a bit..
oooo... these ppl.. whay shud i do to make them welcome and talk to me like they talk to other colleagues?
uwaaa.... im idea-less now...
and i ll be having my lunch alone as well.. huh...
maybe i shud invite a few aliens from anthr planet to join in..
yes... the ones with green and red tentacles.. or the ones who can imitate trees when they r not moving..
maybe i shud have my lunch in their planet myself... so tat i can learn their warmth traditionally welcome to newcomers like me..
YES! the newcomer...
arent they suppose to organise a lunch for me so tat i cud feel welcomed?
arent theyy?
well.. if ever happened that there will be more new staffs coming laters. i ll give em a great welcome..
will treat em for nice lunches and will tell em how misreable i am during the first few weeks i was here..
yes.. maybe university shud introduce some subjects abt it too..
and i ll be the one who ll enrol the class..
yes.. i need to change my so cold manner to some warmth hearty huggable greets..
maybe i shud be a McDonald nya icon.. huwahuhwahuwaa
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