Thursday, July 23, 2009

Updating....

Yes, it was a month ago since i updated my blog. and it's been a month since the students came in , and akak masih terkial-kial dgn clas schedule yangtak tentu hala.. ( yes, this is the 3rd week dah) and ada satu kelas tu, i kept on changing dia nya class schedule because....the students cant make it on those slots, so akak terpaksa memerah otak so that they r able to attend for every class, bukannya attend ikut turn.. bley?
it was not my job to reschedule ke apa ke, tapi itu la.. since those meant students r from Medical faculty, in their 1st clinical year plak tu, so their supervisor suka ati jek la panggil dorang anytime even tho those slots are already scheduled for my class..
tapi ntah la.. malas nak ckp lagi... the course pun , it's not from the fac, in fact it's from other fac. ikut ati malas rasanya nak ajar, howeversince i was told to teach, so .. akak ajar la.. not my niche area pun....
other than that, akak ok sajork. I gotta teach and coordinate an elective course, supervise 5 undergrad students for their final year project, and having this huge problem of terminating an iranian post doc who hasnt performed at all. This makcik, has the gut to go to the top people in this university, trying to appeal as she 's the innocent party and i was the bad one who can simply terminate her. After all the chaos that she has created, including the soxhlet extractor that she claimed she accidentally broke it, I finally decided that it has to be ended. and terminating her, is the best solution ( even tho giving 3 montsh prior notice wont give any benefit to the univ), as she 'd simply get 3 montsh alary withour doing anything when she's known that she's been terminated.
Akak pun malas nak berkata apa lagi.. the onlything that I knew is she's one big liar... harap muka jek cun tapi pembohong besar... i shudnt have taken her in the 1st place..
on happier note... despite the hectic schedule and all, I managed to have a sorta break cum overseas conference trip again. Its the time of the year anyway.
last year I managed to go to Athens, andthe year before to Austria, and before that to Washington, this year, despite the H1N1 pandemic, i have set my mind to proceed for the Kyoto trip which i d be leaving this weekend. me and 4 other post grad students from my fac. so, the good thing i wont be alone this time
well moshi moshi Kyoto.....

P.S getting back to work..

Friday, June 26, 2009

Time and tides wait for no man

How time flies. We are at the end of June already. feels like yesterday, I went back to hometown, gigih makan dan gigih tempah baju raya nanti.. and it was only a few weeks ago...
Ever since i came back.. akak was extremely occupied, ngan TOTs which were held at Cyberview lodge and Marriot Putrajaya, gigih lagi makan makan dan makan.. and tis afternoon i m heading to Seri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang for a 2 days retreat cum department workshop. ( makan lagi tu kan.... )
The new students are registering tis wkdn and the old ones will be coming back next week.. After tis, I wont have any more free time for myself...
Somehow, I was wondering, wat have i been doing for the past 2 months, seems like i never managed to 'produce' anything, or to complete anything. it was half way done.. ( as usual), and suddenly i feel so disappointed to myself.
Why cant i be productive like others. ( who can publish their articles more than 10, who can do other thi9ngs like putting their final touch to their research, or gaining anothr few grants for the research) . Why cant i just be like that?
Its not that i spend lotsa time 'vaining' on my FB ( yg cam seminggu skali pun malas der aku nak update) or complaining how i ve been doing in my blog and waiting for ppl to comment... I suppose i ddidnt spend too much time on internet btw, but where are all the hours gone..
Why cant i manage my time like others? Tim kai.. Pour quoi...?
On not so serious note...
I think i m doing just fine ( pulak)
except for the imaginary curtains that r supposd to be hanged on the windows at my abode.. and some tiny items that i keep on forgetting to purchase...
I think I d be fine...
not to forget, except for a bifollicle cysts which have decided to appaear again in my ovary...
I think I m gonna be just fine for the next 10 years...

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Mode menghapdet ala kadarrr

Waduhhh.. ampun... bersawang banget ini belog... kapan empunya belog mahu updetkann? ( oii update kot indon apa ekk)...( tetiba mode ngomong indon sebab satu hari akak duk google citer si manohara tu, ketinggalan jaman upanya nona manis neh ( akak le tuhh.. cet pasann)...
.............
..........
ok back to my old self... i was not in the working mood previously. besides, i have these pain just below my abdomen again. Not sure whether the endometriosis has struck back, or is it an infection at my urethra.. i m opting for the latter...or if worst come to worst, i suspect it's my kidney... well i dunnola, esok pi jumpa my rheumy, i ll tell him abt it, ( or risking myself of being admitted once i told him my prob, as i ll be on leave for a week at my hometown.... akak pasrah aje lahhh)
This is my last day of puasa ganti. suker sukerr... tho i m still worried abt this continuous pain.. it made me me uncomfortable, well not to the extent of me meraung2 bagai like i did when i had series of renal colic last time..
Uwahhh sangat penat.. ( tetiba....)

...... ( tgh tahan sakit...)


breathe in.. breathe out.. akak....
.........



..............

anyway on happier note...
I wud be in KB from 5th to 12th... the first 2 days will be allocated for a visit to HKB and HUSM, visiting my students who'r doing the practicals there...
the rest, hmmm... makan tido makan tido... owhh.. tak lupa.. paying a visit to the duty free shops in rantau Panjang... *nak beli corelle.. nak beli corelle...* tetiba...
Promised my eldest sis to pay a visit to her new house in Tanah Merah.. owh btw big bro will be back too along wth the family.
...... Hish.. tetiba tulis itinerary ni.. pasalll?

Well.. last but not least ( motif tetiba ilang mode nak berblog).. I d be back after one week... with a big grin on my face.... ( sebab dah lama tak balik kg... sebab... gua sebenarnya dah letih duk KL nih...... -(mode tersampuk)..and (mode insaf)-- please dun grumble.. emangnya kamu itu apa?
.....

.....
(pengsan)..
Ciao..

Monday, May 18, 2009

and he is my idol now..

I was at Eagle Ranch Resort last weekend, from friday to sunday, attended a "compulsory" course/program for the lecturers who are less or 5 yrs in service. We did not hold any outdoor activities or any teambuilding games as wat Eagle Ranch is famous for, It is a place for adventurous people, not for me who is unable to do any physical activities.
So since it was my first time there. I was hoping that at least i wil have some enjoyable moments over there with some nice sceneries to feast my eyes with.. or the sounds of birds n eagles chirped/howled will be a soothe to my ears.
Well, it was not a nice start, i have to say. First, well.. they put me in a 'kampung house' on the 2nd floor and to go there, i have to walk a bit far, crossing a man made bridge and climbed a flight of stairs before reached the destination. I sweated all the way back to the registration place , as i have decided to ask them to change my abode to the nearest one and the most important thing, the one that is on the ground level. Yes, i managed to change it.
The hall is located far from our abodes, and since the day is always sunny with extreme heat and the sun block that i applied to my face was not that strong to block the uv rays penetrated directly to my skin, i sweated again when i went to n fro.
Frankly speaking it was not a suitable place to hold this kind'f programme. the food wasnt tat tasty as well.
However the best thing came outta this programme, we had the best lectures from the great motivators. One of the spekaers, I have decided that he;s gonna be my idol from now on. Forget Tun Mahathir, Jason Mraz or Britney Spears(oopss) for the time being..
he 's the one who managed to make my eyes watery for a couple of times during his speech, and i was so engrossed with his talk that i forgot to close my mouth and blink for 2hours and 45 minutes. yes, it was such a good talk, while he reminiscense over his past life, the past gaiety, my mind was automatically tried to relate things that somehow felt so similar with the one he narrated.. I tried to not to burst into tears.. It was like something has awaken up.. the one that has been put into dormant for such a long time.. as i tried to ignore it all these while..
maybe this is wat i need.. a positive energy surrounding me, people who produced this positive energy, the one who r not going to demoted us...
after all.. its life in your years that matter.. not the other way around..
..and I finally understood about it..
Thank you Pak Sheikh..

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Restless.. apakah..( and pissed off)

owh well.. yes i am.. as restless as ever.. thinking about the unreturned proposal of mine.. been calling Sofia for the past few days, and i m dementedly worried.. how come tbey havent returned my proposal yet.. everybody seems to have returned the amended copy to the 2nd floor and here I am.. still waiting like a fool.. if i were able to get the name of the evaluator.. mati belasah aku kije kan ( grrr..)
Owh.. breathe in.. breathe out CC...
on lighter note.. there were a few events, or should i say tragic events happened during the long weekend.
My bro's Camry was stolen during his overnite stay at Hotel cikai Grand View in ipoh last saturday. yes.. the reason I shud hate Ipoh and its people especially Grand View Cikai hotel from now on ( wah tetiba emo.. CC)..
They didnt do anything abt it.. even tho the parking was under the hotel's authority.. siap cakap lagi... 'kenapa tak parking kat dalam pagar" yes.. stupid q from the hotel people.. Dah memang parking gilaswine penuh ( haaa kan aku dah mencarut), u r supposed to make an effort to remind the people who occupy yr darn hotel abt this rite? now dah ada kereta yg hilang, baru cakap.. ha'a memang kat situ dah ada kereta yg hilang before ni.. WTF?
Apasal aku emo padahal tu bukan kereta aku? in fact it'was the company's car? Abg aku pun tak se-emo aku...
I care becos of the car plate.. it was DBD311.. susah payah abg aku tender menender nak dapat no tu.. alih2 ilang.. and he suspected the hotel ppl tu subahat sama... well he has the feeling.. and i am an empath... bley?
itu pasal akak emo.. okehh...
Enuff about that... ( dah.. dah takder peluang aku nak naik camry abg aku... sedeyyy)

ok lah.... tak ilang lagi emo akak nih.. kalau citer pasal tu.. especially it happened in ipoh... ishh... sapa2 org ipoh tak pasal2 kena ngan aku nih...
eh daaaaaaa...

Monday, April 27, 2009

Hence, I write..

Setelah berbulan akak (taknak bahasakan diri as makcik lagi dah.. kang ketulahan kakakaka)tak memblogkan diri, iya lah.. dari tak sehat, melepek, demam, takder selera bagai ( sampai ilang 4.5 kg).. sampai lahh sehat balik, ada selera balik, makan balik nasik berpinggang-pinggan ( tapi harus mantain berat yg dah ilang berkilo-kilo hari tu), pas tu tak sehat balik, pas tu ok pas tu... ntah... lotsa things happened for the past few weekss.. tapi akak tetaaap mantain tahap kemalasan utk memblog..disebabkan akak membz kan diri ngan bebudak yg 10 minit sekali ketuk pintu bilik.. dah jegil bijik mata pun... tetappplah jugak nak masuk sambil menyengih2kan diri dulu sebagai mukadimahnya sebelum nak bertanya..
Hakikatnya... akak memang penat...
penat sesangatttt layan bebudak ni ha.. tapi dah namanya tugas.. buat la kije ko tu cik kakkk..
So... kenapa akak terajin plak nak memblogkan diri hari ni?
hahahaha jawapannya mudah sajork... bebudak dah balik kg.. so akak dah bebasss.. yippeeee..
result semua dah key in.. karang ada la kursus bagai yg bakal muncul.. tapi dalam seminggu dua ni buleh la akak menarik napas lega... senyum pun sampaike telinga..
Seriussss wa cakap... akak merasa kan sungguh girang hari ni... dan sejak semalam akak asyik duk nyanyi lagu Flora cinta tu.. napa tah.... (mungkin semenjak tertengok konsert AF7 malam sabtu lepas kot)
Kalau nak cerita pasal aktiviti akak for the past month ni.. memanggg la byk..
iya la aktiviti membongkang tak sedar diri kat sofa sambil tengok tv ( itu aja yg akak mampu punn)
2 minggu lepas, ibubapa dan juga adik akak yg beranak dua tu dtg KL ( wahh bahasa). Dorang stay kat Hilton for a few days, dek menjaga hero2 yg mengganas sewaktu adik akak tu pi konferens kat situ.. so akak, seperti biasa la, dah namanya dorang melepak kat situ.. akak pun tumpang duakaki join melepak..
owh tak lupa.. ada org belanja kat Rebung malam tu.. trimkasey la daun keladi la bro.. kalau buleh belanja la kat situ lagi berkali-kali.. (tetiba...)
daaa..

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

A retreat to BeeZee island

Seriously! I need a break! Rasa cam lama sangat dah tak cuti, cuti in the sense of balik kg. kalau stakat cootey kat TSS ni, takder maknenyerr.. setakat tukar2 channel astro sambil baring2,, tat's not my idea of a break.
recently I ve been juggling btw my working life which full of deadlines.. and paper markings and my not so well condition. Tomorrow i ll be admitted again for my 3rd cycle of Infliximab infusion. a 4 long hrs of me doing nothing while waiting for the drug to be administered inside me.
I havent started making a whole load of MCQs exam for one of the courses i taught this semester. feel like i dun have time to do all thise during my daily 8 working hrs ( but i do have time to take an hr peek into my fb plak kah kah kah, never intend to spend the whole hrs kat situ tho)
Anyway, on happier note ( happy kah?), I d be moving outta my rented flat tis coming sunday to my own tiny weeny apartment in kajang. redah je la kan, tho I ve to admit i havent renovated anything yet, but it is surely fit to be occupied, for a start. Lantak la, langsir pun tarak ( harus la tampal2 kertas suratkhabar jek kat tingkap nanti hehehe)
hmm wat else to write? ..
other than that, apart of me suffering from a few side effects due to the drug ( i think), i m still happy.. and ok...
taaa

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

She vomitted, she croaked

Last week was... ( uwahhhh).. sangat menyedihkan okay..
I was not supposed to narrate em all here.. bcos.. as much as I dun like people whining about their disappointing health condition.. I shud not do the same thing here rite! ( dengan lain perkataan, tidak baik untuk aku merungut atau berkata-kata dengan segala kejadian malang yg menimpa ku.. wite?)
but,, nak juga aku berkata-kata.. since I ve gone hru a few episodes of.... ( drum rollings)
1. renal colics ( when i typed colics, meaning, i ve gone thru it more than once... tersangat sakit okay. in chronological order:
a.Wednesday evening, while waiting for pakcik to fetch me, outta sudden i felt the pain initiated on my left waist, and it continously throbbed inside till i reached home. after an hour, lying on the bed, i managed to wake up, thinking of going to the clinic, and outta blue, the pain diasppeared.
b. Thursday evening, The smiliar pain started again at 7 pm. I managed to take my bath, washed the clothes, and after i took my dinner and painkiller, i lied down. It became worst, i know its a renal colic, bcos i ve experienced the similar pain 5 yrs ago, a week before i underwent my TKR at dat time. so, the it has ttacked me again. Vomiited for like 5 times before pakcik arrived and brought me to the clinic. ( ok ini part yg aku rasa cam nak belasah jek the doctor yg buat locum kat Klinik P*enawar tu tau!)
Masa aku masuk, dia tgh baca paper dgn bagusnya. Aku baru pas muntah untuk kali ke 6 kat toilet klinik. This is part of theconversation occured:
Makcik: Dr, I think i got a renal colic la
Dr ampeh (DA): macamana awak tau?
Makcik: Sebab saya dah pernah dapat sakit yg cam ni 5 yeras ago, and besides,my ct scan report said there are multiple renal calculi inside my left kidney.
DA : So apasal dia org tak buat apa2
Makcik ; (sambail tahan sakit) bcos they did the ct scan for my endometriosis
DA ( membebel panjang lebar) sambil masih baca paper
Makcik: So can u give me the injection to reduce this pain
DA: Membebel tak abis lagik
Makcik: Boleh tak dr? saya dah tak tahan sakit ni
DA: ok, boleh but mungkin bukan kidney stone, mungkin muscles ( he pronounced it as muzzles)yang buat aku terkebil2 tak paham
Makcik: can u give me the injection NOW dr?
DA: maih dengan 'muzzles" dia sambil duk baca paper lagik. pas tu bagi instruction yg tah hapa2 kat aku.. sedangkan aku dah siap baring kat atas katil dah
Makcik : so pissed off at dat time
DA : ok saya bagi buscopan?
Makcik : (dalam ati : wat? gila apa nak bagi aku anti-spasmodic.. aku dah cakap ni bukan muscle spasm.. bagi la voltaren ke weiiii).. hm ok la ( wutever)
after for like 5 mins, dia injek aku wh buscopan, (yg dapat aku rasa, it wont give any effect to me)
DA: so balik nanti meniarap, pas tu letak airbatu kat pinggang bla bla bla
i went back home, did as he instructed, and as predicted, that buscopan didnt give any effect to me. I vomiited for like a few times more. siap2 menggelupu atas katil sbb tak tahan sakit ( boleh imagine tak? ).. not a pretty sight i must say.
at 11, we decided to go to A&E hospital serdang. tu pun aku rasa cam lama sgt nak sampainya.. sampai sana jek, aku paksa adik kat registration to attend aku dulu. terus dia antar aku kat dalam. masa baring kat atas katil tu, terasa lama sangat dengan aku yg pegang plastik in case aku muntah yg kali ke berapa dah. so they put me on a drip, and then since i cantake tramal, so they injceted me with voltaren sajork. after 10 mins, ( lama skit sbb my level of pain tu kira dah level 8 outta 10), the pain was decresing slowly. after getting my blod and urine and xray result, they discharged me at 3 am.
c. hari jumaat aku ok sajork. Since dapat mc, aku pi opis jap ptg tu nak ambik buku untuk finsihing school aku. stomach muscles aku tersangat sakit disebabkan gerakan yg terover masa muntah pada malam sebelumnya. suapar aku terus ilang jugak
d. saturday, aku ada FS, so dengan suara yg sgt merdu, aku mengfasilitasi kan bebudak tu , and at 4.30 pm, tetiba aku rasa sakit tu dtg balik.. haaa sudahhhh.
ambik another pain killer, kul 5.30 abis jek sakit makin menjadi2 lak.. jadi sebelum terngadah, aku pi klinik P*enawar tu lagi for anthr voltaren jab. Check dulu sapa dr bertugas, tobat aku taknak masuk kalau dr yg sama cam malam tu ada.. nasib baik dr lain. Dr ni mmg dah selalu aku jumpa.. so he kinda knows me la. When i narrate that nite incidence, terusdia cakap sambil geleng kepala.. "eh tak cukup ngan buscopan, mana boleh bagik tu saja... renal colic ni mmg sakit.... "
See. dia sangat memahami.,..
e. Ahad, aku siap2 ambik another voltaren tablet sebelum kul 4.30. so bila balik rumah, terasa sakit skit dah, cepat2 ambik another voltaren. nasib baik the pain ease away after an hour
f. Isnin, bangun dgn sakit matanya on the left side ( tatau kenapa) and batuk2 yg mengokol2 now. Took one tab at 1 pm and at 7pm dia start sakit balik. terus ambil another tab, anthr panadol actifast and off to bed. around 10 pm baru la dia betul2 ilang.
and today... im at work. have taken one tab at 1.30 pm just now.. i know the trick now. sebelum dia sakit atau rasa sakit skkit2, terus ambil ubat.. tapi tu la.. i m now so so relying on painkillers. baru jek steroid free... cett
well... thinking of going to urologist earliest next week. sangat sibuk tis week with tests etc. besides hospital serdang only have visiting urologist which is actually from KL. and I have asked them to give me ther referral letter to HUKM, senang, all my medical history kat sana..
owh well... tata

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

and today..and also 2 days ago..

terasa sangat letih...
ok.. i was a bit hyperactive rite after i ve been put on my 2nd cycle infusion..
and i have stopped taking my usual daily dose of steroid yeay! am tapering it down to half of the dose now.. hopefully i d be able to stop it totally in a week time..
well anthr symptom came up... anyway..
I m beginning to feel nauseous once in a while now.. ( not sure whether it's from the post effect of this infliximab).. ( written 2 days ago)
and as today..
life's not been as hectic as before tho.. well.. on n off actually. This weekend I ll have another finishing school at FEP. ( and i ll have anothr extra money for the new house heheh)
SIRIM audit ended yesterday. and I was one of the auditee. The auditor is actually my junior from MRSM and also UKM. So meeting her was like.. owww! ( and i have things in miy mind like, how much money did she get for all these audits arr, must be bundles.. wahhhh ) tetiba mode teringin nak kije kat sirim ... apakah!
Anyway.. outt sudden, i was hooked wth the FB. whilst all these while i never bothered abt all the gadgets in FB. I registered in November last year, cos I heard my sister mentioned how good it is, since she has been connected with all of her ex schoolmates/coursematess via this FB.
so one day i decided to register with the intention tofind all my x schoolmates/coursemates. Nan ado ghopanyaaa.. tho i ve been typing all their names. Nampak sgt the older batches never bothered abt this FB. Looks like I m the one who's catching up with the trend eh? ( bangga di situ)
so.. (the first para was drafted a few days ago).. I m now sitting in my room.. at half past 8, ( ill have a lecture at 12 actually), trying to figure out what hud i do wth the rest of my day? Tho there'r tonnes of works to be done... but as weeeknd is getting nearer ( takder maknonya,, as I still have to work)..
anyway, I l be moving out at the end of this month. There's still lotsa to be done, Pakcik wants to paint it again, and I m thinking of buying a new cooker hob ( for a start).. but come to think of it.. where got time to go n survey for all these la..
Ada orang tu cakap... byk masa lagi.. as if.. pbhttt! tapi aku ni kan... suka panik dulu and berasional kemudian.. and there r lotsa things that i ve neatly planned... tapiso far,.. satu pun lum menjadi lagik...haishhh...
so much for the whining..
till then

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A hole in his belly



Seriously, it's more like a hell lake actually..
I think after watching eden lake yesterday afternoon, I m not gonna believe of such phrase like ' sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga' anymore.
That movie gave a perfect eg of how evil ppl wont be caught at the end and will live happily ever after, whilst the good ones have to take the consequence of being good and wud be killed at the end (oopss.. did i actually reveal its ending? )
This is the only movie which made me grumble dissatisfyingly. The only tot tat did occur in my mind was to burn the cinema like the bollywood movie fans did when they did not agree with the ending ( but i did not! wasnt tat agressive tho hihihi)
However i was hypochondriacally having this stomach ache and also the pain on my sole feet while watching it.
hey look.. somebody has actually read my mind abt it..
an excerpt from thecriticalcritics.com about this movie---
But originality notwithstanding, Eden Lake is a lean, mean and genuinely nail-biting piece of filmmaking that literally has you perched on the edge of seat. And, it’s a film that sparks anger in the minds of the audience and a thirst for revenge against the bad guys. Director Watkins knows how to goad his audience

It was violent. No wonder it's a 18SG movie.
Anyway.. Im looking forward to watch anthr Thai Horror Movie "reborn" when it's showed on cinema. A scary ghost in the cinema.. sounds interesting to me ..

as to me , overall. it was worth yr 7 ringgit tickets.

ok.. back to more works..
P.s Apa? i ve been updating this blog daily for 2 days in a row... I am sooo amazeddddddd with myself..

Monday, February 23, 2009

A Quiet Monday

The weekend was a tiring one. I went thru a 2 whole blasted days of conducting a finishing school. As expected, the stduents involved were from medical, nursing and dietetic programmes. and only half of them came. Tu pun, bcos on the 1st day, rite i ve been barking at them ( sorta) of how disappointing i were last time, cos I knew they came here bcos they'r forced to. and they admitted tat too. I even asked them whether they planned to disappear rite after morning break and nobody dare to anser it ( tho deep inside i knew they have planned to do tat). Anyway, rite after break, 8 students wre already missing in action. takpe lah. At least i ve already predicted that it wud happen
So, due to the stress on the 1st day, aku sorta fell asleep very early. It's not yet 9 when i ve alreday dozed off. On the 2nd day, anthr 3 were missing. Somehow i kinda expected it cos the guy who actually promised me not to disappear on his 1st day was now nowehere to be seen on the 2nd day. See, I told u he never planned to stay on his 1st day.
Anyway, all in it was fun . Those medical studnts r very smart, i tell u and able to express their opinions openly. and those r the small amounts who really want to come on their own will.
last nite was not so bad tho. I maaged to open my eyes till 10.30. Tu pun bcos i was stuck with this one movie on hallmark channel. A movie that i remember i ve watched it bfore but since katherine heiigl starred in the movie i wont mind watching it again. wept a bit sum more.
Got quite a late call from bak. I got a reminder from BSN due to the late payment from an ex colleague for his personal loan. and I am his guarantor. Well I do trust this ex colleague and its quite a schocked when i received the letter. Even my family knew this person bcos he has come to my house a few times along wth his fiancee at tat time.
Straightly texted him rite after i put down the call. and it was ages bfore he replied back.( i tot he wud never reply. so outta panic , i left a msg in his YM, and my, i tot it sounded quite harsh ) and then i got a reply from him, a text msg telling that he's already cleared the payment tis afternoon. Oppsss...
and now i m gonna blame the bank for my nasty act. I m quite sure he'd be very offended when he read the msg today. ( owh by the way i did reply back when i got his reply. by saying, "ok, TQ!"
Shud have apologised for 'accidentaly' leaving the evil msg in his YM. Hmmm...
anyway... back to work lah....
feeling quite sleepy tho....

Friday, February 20, 2009

2nd entry in a row? whoaaa!

Its 30 mins to 5. and I m looking forward to balik time. ecehh.
tapi ingat sat gi nak pi refreshen my make up kot dalam toilet.. apply lipstick ka lipliner ka.. puff my cheek a bit, replacing the remain of the foundation ka..
Cissss... takder masa nya heii.. (ntah angin meroyan mana lak tetiba ngigau sebut cam ni)
I havent eaten anything since this morning. Reason.. too lazy to go down without any companion. Dah le aircond kat bilik ni dah call maintennace. dorang datang buat lawatan muhibbah jek yesterday, janji nak 'do something', but other than took a look while adjusting the temperature to a lower scale, they havent done nothing so far . Tu pun aku leh wat.. yg kuar jek angin jek.. manyak panas tau... and my colleague said, the reason the aircond unit broke down in my room bcos.. ermm I ve been hyperventilating too much.. errmm apakah?
yesterday, I have been forced to become a middle person in a conflict between my students, in another word, since I m the 'oldest' amnongst them all ( and also the smartest, bley? ), i tried not to either offend or fingerpoint to any of them. Bak kata Karam Singh Walia, to become a good problem solver, rambut yang ditarik dalam tepung tu jgn dibiarkan bersepah.. sorta la..
It started when a group of my Entrepeneurship nya class, started accusing one of the member in a group of 'curi tulang' and not doing his responsibilty as a team work. Furthermore, he's been making the profit only for himself. So the rest of the gp which only consist of girls only, voiced out their dissatisfaction for tis one member nih..
so being a good lecturer ( cehh), i asked them to meet me in my room the next day, so dat they wud tell watever things they had in mind about this poor male victim nih.
and this poor victim was quite surprised when i asked him whether he has any prob wth the rest of the group. Then, the gals representative ni started to narrate the whole story again infront of him. It seemed that, the rest of the gp ni cam dengar from other party and never feel like asking directly from the victim.
Aku pun sympathized gak, if i were in his shoes, ye lah tetiba jek.. kena panggil without any warning. Supposedly they shud ask him first and settle la amongst themselves before they included me in their disagreement.
and I have to admit tis is one ofmy weaknesses la, i do not know how to remain a poker faced ) ke cool-faced?) once they broke down infront me. Try to sympathise tapi kang cam ak professional la plak kan? ( eceh.. tetiba nak mantain professional composure ere).
so after they have knwn the real story behind it, aku pun menyuruh la dorang bersalam-salaman dan membuang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih..( haha tetiba). bagi aku its just only small matter (tats for me, tapi tau la bebudak ni kang, perkara cam ni pun bagi mereka sangat la besar nya impaknya di masa akan datang)..
and as a team, they shud know how to compromise, a character tat u shdu have if u wanna become an entrepeneur kan?
kan dah.. tak pasal aku perlu mengeluarkan segala hujah2 and point2 yg dah aku emphasize masa kat lecture..
terangguk2 jek dorang..
so aku ingatkan dah settle.. and indeed it is..
tapi ptg skit, the poor victim came knowcking my room. after a few hrs tot, he said he feels like dropping the subject. Sudahhh..
Puas la aku mujuk bagai jgn drop.. "saya dah nampak awak ada bakat keusahawanan nih"
itu la antara taktik2 aku yg ak berapa menjadi masa sesi memujuk tu..
and he still insisited in dropping the subject.
Last2 aku guna reverse psychology,. ish cam menjadi la plak.. so dia kata nak balik fikirkan and see how it goes within tis week. Tu pun pas dia dah nangis bagai depan aku citer pasal family problem dia, which he didnt want to mention at first. tapi napa tah.. tetiba he confided ... ish rasa cam kaunselor plak aku....
so itulah dia....tetiba jek aku rasa cam.... wahhhh best!
so the gist of the entry is... I really love my work.. even though there wud be ugly stuffs cam continuous audit tu ke, ( yg dah taklarat dah aku nak whine abt), tapi in general, other than feeding them more n more knowledge, befriending them,tis is a duration of period in their lives which they have included me in, and even put in their trust in me with their stories.. and God knows how it cud influence them in the future.
korang paham tak apa yg aku nak sampaikan?
tak paham tak pe la... biar aku syok sendiri jek.. hihihihi
whoa.. i spent 30 mins just to write tis one simple entry? Hmm remind me again why i cudnt update my blog everyday ok...
Signing off...

extremely exhausted

referring to the title.. cam best sgt kan aku ni kan? cam aku sorang jek la yg buat kije non stop whilst the others makan gaji buta blogging gossipping ym-ing semata-mata kan?cam orang lain dtg kije post 3-4 entries per day pas tu skype-ing bagai pas tu siap bloghopping agi? kih kih kih
ada ke org sentap kalau aku ckp cam ni? bunyi cam aku jek tu? NOT! hehehe
(tetiba jek feeling ala-ala evil pagi nih.. abaikan jek la perangai aku yg tak semengah nih)
anyway on lighter note...disebabkan aku selalu sgt komplen weeekend cam tak produktif jek.. hah hambik ko.. minggu ni.. aku tetiba jek dibebani ngan workload yg melimpah ruah..sampai tak sempat nak lunch bagai... my weekend too wud be filled with the finishing school. Ermm ini aku yg nak bukan dorang bagik.. at least dalam LPP aku ada la gak penglibatan aku dalam aktiviti pelajar ( not to mention the benefit tat they reward me for being with the stds for 14 straight hours! Muntah darah la dorang manjang tgk muka macik yg kiut ni kan kah kah kah )
Alkisahnya dari sehari ke sehari.. aku nak upload pics dr hp aku ( yang dah nak kong tu.. alih2 tetiba jek off sendiri), pas tu ada a few piccas dr camera jugak.. tapi tu la.. nak memulakan mencari cable usb yg aku simpan kat tempat baiiikk punya sampai aku pun dah lupa kat mana.. tersangat laaa menciknya aku...
tetiba gak mode nak post entri disertai dgn piccas sebagai bukti menguasai diri..
so dari sehari ke sehari jugak.. aku simpan segala bentuk citer yg kununnya nak di-narratekan balik kat sini ( sebagai iktibar ye tuan puan.. )tapi tu lah... dah lama sgt aku pun malas nak backdate dah...
Tak rajin sebenarnya aku ni.. baru aku perasan hihihhi
--stop jap.. nak pi studentnya practical barang 2-3 jam.. kalau rajin.. sambung le balik.. 2 entries in one day? fuhhhh makcik sudah bagus nihh...

Monday, February 09, 2009

outta'f blue, feel like updating the blog... sementelah tengok semua org update blog at least once a day.. tapi daku... hmmm... seminggu sekali pun lum tentu....
yes.. procrastination is my middle name.. people..
dan this sudden urging to update this blog came.. when i m in the middle of updating my lecture notes aka lecture slides...
yer tuan puan, to deliver full details of my lecture content, ill at least read 3 books.. but at the end, i ll just quote the most difficult and extra lengthy explanations amongst those 3.. and i ll end up making the students more confused and suffered...
owh well.. i guess that one of the nature becoming a lecturer kot ( or is it only moi) to torture the students to the max.. kah kah kah...
and all those things will lead to the worst evaluation of moi as a lecturer...
heh peduli apa aku ( in denial mode kekekeke)
owh enuff abt tat.... actually my intention is purely innocent.. and good.. i want to share with those not so hungry knowledge seeking students of wat i have known and have gone thru... some of those informations cant be found in any text book.. yet somehow... these students arrr... i tell u.. always misunderstood my sincere intention.. they accuse me ( and others) for getting back at them.... as if we really hate our prev lecturers during our heycollege days and now.. we re bullying em as sorta revenge...
pleaseeee la.. mak bukan cam tu ohkayyyyy.... in fact mak really appreciate wat my prev lectureers have done to me and have made me as wat i am now... the way they yelled and made us suffered, has transformed me to a responsible, independent, respectable and popular and cute amongst the students now.. ( haihhh tetibaaaa) hahahahah

abaikan jek la.. kemerapuan melampau ni.. gara2 nak mengupdate sangat la nihhhh....
...
anyway on lighter note ( cam la merapu yg kat atas tu heavy topic sangat la kan?)
am sending my niece to banting in a few minutes... owh btw...
i ve been domestically functional at home since she arrived 3 days ago...hahahaha
i ve cooked bfast meal for 3 days in a row.. one lunch meal which consisted of asam pedas ikan pari, ikam pekasam and sayur goreng yang cam, sedap sangat daku rasa ( wahh puji diri sendiri nampakk)..
sorry no pics taken peiple.. tak koser nak snap..
there's still lots more to write.. biasaaa la.. kalau dah memblog tak reti2 nak stop kan... but due to the time constraint.. haishhh... i have like some picacs to show as well.. tapi tu lahh.....
memnadangkan masa mencemburui daku.. kah kah kah.. i d betetr go now.. azan zohor dah berkumandang... kena siap2....cos am planning to look for more items for the new apartment after sending her back....
ciao...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Orang berbudi kita berbahasa.. kan?

well, if u look at the right side of this blog, im linking another 2 blogs that have put mine as one of the blogs they read, and another one that i have been visiting frequently
well i m honoured actually, to know that there are people who actually linked my blogsite in their blogs. to know tat there r a few kerats who actually read my so so mood -dependable blog... i d say tat its.. ermmm priceless? boley?
---- and to realise tat i m still in the mood of updating my blog, surprisingly.. ( and to share an ugly incidence tat occured yesterday when i went for a usual rheumy follow-up at Hospital X. well nothing cud surprise me anymore.. ( i guess)
--to begin a story, I went out early yesterday morning, to catch a followup appt . reached there at 7.30 and i was the 16th person already. The docs wont be in , not till they have finished their ward round at 10ish. and I was hoping tat by getting there early, i wud finish early la kan? and tat is wat supposed to be happened rite?
So i waited till 10, and surprisingly (again), i was so bz talking to another RA patient tat i forgot the time. The no started blinking around 10ish. and after 1 hr, the docs inside there only managed to see TWO patients only! and the number of patients was increasing till here's not enuff seats for them anymore.
and I have a meeting at 2.30... was hoping that I d be back before 1. But judging from the way they saw the patients, i wonder whether they d be able to see all the patients in one day.
Later on, i have someone to do the not-so dirty work for me. I asked him to ask the nurse whether i can go in later on, even tho i ll have like another 13 patients before me. after compromising wth the nurse, I d be the next one who wud go in, she said.
But then, the patient inside never came out. so i asked him to ask the nurse at the counter again. Few minutes later he told me to stand infront'f d room. well, another 1/2 hr passed and they ( 3 docs) only managed to see 3 patients.
So he bravely knocked the door and asked the person inside. Well at this point, I wasnt able to neither see or hear clearly what he told the doc, but i can feel some heated argument initiated over the conversation. The doctor was inside the room with a large group of his medical students, examining the patient who lie helplessly on the bed!
Owh well, i wont question how the doctor works with his patients, but cant u ( yes, u! the so called doctor who hapepened to claim that he's the best rheumy in town ( which i never tot he is) take a look outside yr room and see how restless yr big crowds of patients are due to a long wait? There'r like 60 patients cramping inside the waiting area, and u still have the time to teach yr students which indeed will spend like aeons to attent every patient? I mean,be realistic la and be considerate as well. U can alwasy change yr teaching sessions with the students at another time, when there's not many patients in the clinic or u can always turn patients to yr guinea pigs when they r in the ward.
and all those people r not fit to be frozen in the clinic.
and I only managed to think out loud at tat time, did not have the gut to give a piece of my mind to the doctor. But he did!
When the doc said tat he's working here, he managed to anser like tis: "I have no doubts tat u r working now and i wont question on how u treat yr patients, but cant u make it short as there's like 60 more patients out there and there u r now, examining yr one patient for the past one hour"
in fact he even put oil to the fire by exclaiming" so how many hrs do u need to see all 50 patients outside? 50 more hours?"
and the doc agreed to see his friend after he finished with his current patient.
well that's supposed to be me then!
and when i entered the room 20 minutes later, there's like 50 pairs of eyes staring at me as i was the tentacled alien from krypton. ..
Not to mention they r staring at my hands rudely.
not to mention my annoyance for these current manners of some medical studnts nowadays.
and i hid my hands under my handbag, serve them rite! i was preparing for some sarky comments tho, luckily not one of them dare to converse wth me. Judging from the furious look of mine, i dun think tbey wud.. hehehe
and when the Doc asked me who tat hamba Allah is,i ansered " he's my friend"
so he went off blabbering tat I shud knock at his door anytime if i want to go in early bcos he has known me and has been seeing me for quite sometime alreday, and there shudnt be any problem bcos I quoted" we re fellow lecturers even tho we re from diff univ"
well I m not tat nasty to cut other ppls line, bcos usually whenever i went for a followup, they managed to see me around 11ish and im back in the office latest by 1, and i always reach the hospital latest by 8 am.
If not due to the staring crowds infron'f him, i wud have given him a worthwhile piece of my mind as well. But I didnt want to ruin his reputation infront'f his respected ( la sangat) students.
I mean being a Medical lecturer is not about u teaching ( or perhaps showing off?) yr best skills to yr students or giving yr best treament to yr patients as well. U shud have empathies towards them too! U shud have put yrself in yr patient's shoes who have been waiting since early in the morning, and is still waiting after 5 hours.
I mean dun any hospital has this piagam khidmat pelanggan of the waiting time for each patient shud not exceed more than an hour? ( i saw one at Pusat kesihatan UPM when i went for the wound dressing) and i think the PK does follow the rules.
Enuff said.
the not so good thing came from it ( or was it bad thing), they r gonna start putting on another new drug starting next week.
and I have to be warded fopr 2 days due to the procedure. its very expensive drug but they ve put me as one of the guinea pig maybe? nahh.. one outta 4 patients who will receive it FOC.
well I do mind the period im gonna spend there. I mean.. I will be xposed to the knowledge/skill hungered students who , definitely will disturb me by asking similar questions repetitively.
I mean if u ve been disrupted by them for more than 20 yrs, who wont, rite?
ok.. I ve decided, i m gonna have laryngitis next week.
Boleh?
opps forgot anthr good thing came from this Rheumy. I was supposed to call the gynae clinic on the 29th asking abth the result of the tissue tat they removed inside me last time.
in fact, they wud call me a day earlier if the result is found to be abnormal.
but he mananged to trace the result yesterday and he said it was totally Endometriosis. nothing malignant ! yeahh!
and i was supposed to pretend tat I havent known abt the result yet and wud still call them on the 29th.
Yes, I m a great peretender.. aint it?
ok.. tats the end of the entry.

Monday, January 19, 2009

ok.. its published

outta sudden im in 'updating mode' ( sangat menyampah rasanya bila tetiba terbit mode ini, cos i tend to spend like hrs to write, reread due to lotsa typo error and later on.. will hesitate like umpteenths times whether to publish it or not ! enuff said... the damage is done already! erkk!

anyway, tis is my 1st day at work after a month medical leave ( actually its 33 days to be exact). and i reached the faculty 10 minutes to 11 due to a meeting whch took place at the main campus . I was not in the meeting actually, but The Research TD wanted me to be around regarding the post doc aplication of an iranian researcher.
Anyway, taking an iranian as either your postgrad @ post doc student is like risking yrself to some bad ( or might be worst) consequences of not achieving yr project's objective. But... i have to take the risk due to my 2 post grad students who quit before they even registered for the course, and tat left me with NO post grad student at all and i have like 6 months away to produce a progress report for a project which 's supposed to start now, alas.. i have no one to conduct the labworks for the project.

and now I have one student who came 'menyerah diri' to me and another post doc to do all the works . so i m now in a very secured position, providing i have to bark, yell and push them very hard.. ( nahhh.. am not that kinda person tho)

For the past few days, there was a hot issue been discussed in every academic staff's email box. There's like a few sarky responses from the professors and all those top hierarchys regarding the parking issue ever since the admin reminded us not to park the car at the area which's not the parking area or else the car wud be clamped. as usual, we blamed the students for parking their cars at the staff's area and the professors demand their own parking spots. have to admit there is not enuff parking spaces in the faculty since the number of the staffs have increased gradually,not to mention the numbers of cars been driven by the students as well.
well not my problem anyway, tho my heart bleeds for those who have to face the problem everyday when they came to work.. well I have someone who sends and picks me up everyday then! hihihih

Anyway, back to usual routine now. I have class on monday and tuesday evening. and pharmacology class wil start after the break, the toxicology class will start in march.. and ( eh.. i m republishing the same statements taht i wrote in my prev entry la plak).. nampak sangat dah takder idea cett!
owh.. byw i spent the weekend, attending a 2 days TOT for the 5th Finishing School in Marriot Putrajaya...well makcik is back in action I guess..hihih
till then..

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Come to think of it.. i have lotsa freeeee time nowadays, considering i m still on medical leave till next week..
but.. i still have to attend d entrepeneurship class on monday n tuesday..
and that wud leave me free for the rest of the week..(yeahh i am so so freee.. ) any appointments have to be forwarded to the weeks after my medical leave ended..
and starting this week, i do not have to do any wound dressing anymore ( dr's order)..
making me more more free ( like a nelly furtado's bird lagikkk)..
and since i m still on medical leave, all works and tasks shud be avoided.. do not ever think about it..( tho i have like mounds of things to be done rite after i came back to work next week)..
nah.. not gonna think abt it..
am in the office now tho.. its been ages since we ( me n my 2 kakis) berpoya2 sambil melepak2 makan tgk movie during office hrs kahkahkahkah...
opss gtg now..

Friday, January 09, 2009

and what's the story?

Hmm.. its been 3 weeks since i underwent my op..
The wound is not completely healed yet... and I have to visit the clinic and let them do the dressing for me daily...
still not able to wear my jeans.. ( sebab takut nanti bergeser ngan my wound)
I m now living on (real) healthy diet.. Most'f d time I consume vege soup n fish. Reducing my carbs a lot ( tapi idak jugak aku kurus kekdahnya cett)
My sister's maid has run away with the next door's maid, leaving her 2 toddlers at home, alone at tat time. ( sangat kejik itu maid,, and FYI, makcik dah puas mengutuk maid tersebut)
I have collected the key for my new apartment.. but i m still not sure when am i gonna move in..
I still have another week leave yet, i have lectures on mondays n tuesday n labs on wednesdays..
Tot of listing my 2009's resolution... but on 2nd tot... nantilah dulu...
(tetiba jek rasa cam maleh nak meng-update dahh)...

Monday, January 05, 2009

Intermission

I m in my office room, at the faculty, trying to xerox 40 copies of handouts to be distributed for my 5 pm class. cehhh gigih bertugas walaupun im ubiquitously still on medical leave.. haishhh...
Owhh before I forgot, many thanks to Tim Tams for yr prayers and continuous concern.. I shud have known at least I can count on one virtual reader who anxiously waiting for my health progress.. (yang len hammmpehhhhh tak leh harap.. kekekeek)
owh by the way, the wound is still not completely healed.. starting today, i need to go for a daily dressing.. and they r gonna take one last look ( hopefully) at the wound next week.. owh btw, iwas so so in pain when they pulled out the remain of the stitches this morning... (nearly wet my pant hahahaha)..
katernya pain endurance level is very high.. cettt!
and they only gave me antibiotics today, ( i did beg them to prescribe last week, tapi nan ado yg nak dengar kata aku..) but today, even tho its not as watery as the week before, i tot i was just the serous, but then diff MOs will have diff opinions. They r afraid the wound will be infected, and my opinion it's just some flakes from the skin.. but who am i to question their opinions kan? Im just a normal human with an untypical cervical bones.. keh keh keh..
anyway... I cant find any replacement lecturer that wud be able to deliver this one particular course. and lectures still have to be on schedule.. I ve missed 3 hrs slot last week.. and i m catching up this week.. tak koser sebenarnya nak wat kelas ganti...
so tat makes me wat? dedicated lecturer la kan? ekekekekeke
well.. gotta run.. im trying to discuss with the students later .. perhaps i can change the class schedule to earlier slot..
well im not too keen to end my class at 7 pm every monday...
Till then...

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Post-op Part 1

Im back..in one piece. ( was too lazy to update the blog,even tho I ve been outta the ward 3 days after undergoing the surgery.It was a successful one 'tho it was quite a messy jungle inside there'to quote one of the registrar who also assisted her specialist in the OT.
Yeah,being the lazy bum, i ve been recuperating for almost 10 days at my bro's in KD.The wonderful parent are beside me during the healing time tho. ( and I ll be on medical leave till 18th January, yaaaa makcik harus la berpantang segalabagaikan, as if i were in confiinement ( and I ve been mistakenly assumed that they have given me 6 weeks medical leave..cam ye ye jek).
Hmmm having said that,Im not supposed to give any lectures la kan, for the timebeing...
but ermm... as a dedicated one, ( apakah?) I llbe delivering the lecture tomorrow,tho in themorning, I m going to the hospital again, so that they cud take a look at my suture,it was still quite reddish,the wound I mean, last week, when they r supposed to unstitched it...It was quite lengthy ,they have cut me rite below my bellybutton to the suprapubic region,and yes it was a midline incision..and the first few days of post-op, I have refrained on either coughing or sneezing, afraid that all those tiny movements on the stomach may tear the sutures.
Come to think of it,I know that my pain endurance level is very high,of course la, I mean if u r living with arthritis for more than2 decades, u tend not to wince or flinch whenever they jab a needle to take out yr blood from any small vein of yrs, and usually they wont succeeed in sucking out my blood,not till they tried on uncountable attempts,and by that time, I djust give them one of my winning smiles, when they apologised frequently for purposely hurting me.. Its ok..im so so immuned to it kanz/ ( walhal dalam hati dah berbakul aku menyumpah)..somuch for the 'hospital courtesy'lakan?
to make it worst,they anaesthetized me while I was still fully conscious..Yes,I am very impressed with my self..they shud put me in the ultimate guiness record la kan..I mean,the feeling of being intubated while u felt like u r choking to death,and priorly,they inserted the fibre optic inside my nose,along the nasal tothe trachea ..GOD, I squeezed the anaesthetist's hand so hard,i hope i didnt crush any finger of hers .....I wish i wont have to go thru the same experience again... i mean... i dun mind if they sedated me first like the typical procedure of GA..but then again..I aint a typical ,normal human possessing a typical normalbones...cehhhh dream on la makcik...
The good thing is,I wasnt into post-op emetic state,not like my previous 2 ops before,(but i was on spinal anesthesia in both ops before, even for this one,they changed it to GA via fibre optic 12 hrs before the op, luckily they decided dat bcos the op took about 4 hours,and the damages tat they'r supposed to remove was more than they have presumed( they even cancelled one op bcos mine have taken longer than expected).
Ish i cud go on n on with the procedures (camla they cut me alive kan?) hahaha... once I started choking to death,I was put into sleep,and once i was connscious again,i felt the pain onmy abdomen,and the nurses were bz giving me instruction on how to push the patient control analgesic aka PCA. hey I was on morphine,can u imagine how cool I am.. one small push with my finger will release a smalldose of morphine into my body to relieve the pain I was having at tat time...
I was in my own hallucinating coccoon (not toforget, a tube of morphine bside me)..half awake, halfnaked (oppsss),when i was wheeled tothe ward again,I cud hear the voices of my parent asking ,me how Iam... ( oppss i did remember,one of the anesthetist did mention that by consenting on tis one risky procedure,I m exposed to d risk of becoming paralysed ( if the procedure went wrong or if i were not so lucky)... so instantly i wiggled my toe.. great i can feel it..alhamdulillah..
To be continued