Not so new place ..

so.. i m in PJ now.. not going back to ipoh anymore.. went to HUKM for the yearly appt with ortho ( tho actually i m in desperate need of mc.. hehehe.. the ortho surgeon looked at my knee for a while , asked me to cat walk infront of his students, asked me whether i m not aware the existence of a piece of metal in my patela ( tho i ve disappointed him with my anser, i said yes hehehe), asked me wat i ve been doing for the past 15 months, and then he said that he wil see me again after a year.. and tat's it? luckily he did give me a 3 days mc as requested..
i was a bit disappointed tho during the earlier incident when i ve been called at the payment counter ( FYI one needs to pay RM5 for a folow up appt). the clerk, asweet lady ( whom i think is much much younger than me) asked me whether i have any kad kebajikan, so i asked her back? wat is that kad kebajikan for? she said " iya lah, dgn keadaan keadaan akak ni, akak tak apply kad kebajikan kak?" so iasked her again, do i look like im in need of any kad kebajikan? and before she cud utter back, i quickly told her, "saya keja, lagipun saya rasa tsaya tak perlu kad kebajikan tu, byk lagi org uyg memerlukan nya..."
and yes.. i m so so offended.. apala punya org main tibai jek cakap..
unless she saw me with crutches or i ve been wheeled ke, then she got point to say dat.. but i went there with my two big feets, except for a slight limp, which is nothing compared to those who came there, do i look like i need a kad kebajikan? infact i think i earn more than her.. LOL ( ish riak plak aku)
once i chatted with a paralysed guy onlineand he asked me whether i havs tios green card. iasked him wat is a green card? and he said its a special card for disabled.. i told him, my condition is not tat bad to request for a card and he said y not..
he never saw me actually..and im not trying to deny my condition.. neither fishing for any sympathy
except for my deformed hands, ( which they tot i ve suffered for a stroke, i just let them think i am ) , yes, i admit my mobility is very limited, i mean i cant carry things, cant climb, cant do sport activities, but apart than those, i d be able to do my works..unless for a parking lot.. i think i can manage other things, there r lotsa ppl who r less fortunate than me, and being me, i dun think i need some special attention. I ve difficulties to prove to some aircrew that i m disabled when i want to go in first, now do u think they d believe me if i show them my special card..oohhh im offended again..
maybe i m stubborn and still think that im anotrmal person.. cos im not..
i dunno.. i shud gove it a long tot abt that matter..
*sighing*

Last day in ipoh

so.. today is my last day.. and next week i wll be logging in from somewhere else.. after 1 1/2 years, i m not gonna touch tis keyboard again.. wont be staring at tis pc again ( with powerpuff gals stickers attached to the monitor), i cudnt stick my tongue out at miss khor anymore everytime she's bothering me... and i cudnt say "shut up' again to them whenever they talk nonstop..and i m not able to reply my fav line again everytime they ask me where to have our lunch.. couldnt say " lunch kat mulut la " anymore
Its hard to say goodbye especially when u r too close to them for these past 18 months.. we ve been doing everything togehther, went sightseeing to perak famous places on weekends.. anyway.. nuar will be shifting to MAHSA as well.. next month.. leaving Santi and Fz remain in tis college..
huwaaaaa... imagining myself not to be here starting next week.. its gonna be weird tho.. not to wake up on the same bed... taking bath in the same toilet.. rushing to work bcos Fz always wake up late... going to pasarmalam taman perpaduan.. to buy the delicious nasik kerabu from that akak kelantan.. uwaaaaaaaaaaa.. the memories is torturing me..
and i ll be in Serdang alone.. has to start from scratches again.. making friends again..
sob sob.. im gonna miss em..

Undecided..

uweeeeeeeee.. its thursday again.. and it ll be my last thursday in ipoh. Tomorrow's friday, gonna be my last friday in ipoh as well.. Finally i ve finished marking all the papers that need to be marked.. one failed, as expected.. luckily its only one. or else, i ll be pulling my hair off trying to xplain to the "high court"
I still havent found the lorry yet, to move all my things to serdand.. and today.. its a lorry hunt day..shud i just leave all my stuffs in ipoh, sell em ( so dat i wont need the lorry service) or... bring it all ( making it easier for me.. as i ve already had a bed, a wardrobe, etc)
hmmm.. ( a long thought)
i think i need to finish tis kuih bahulu first before opting for plan B..
yummy.. yummy..

Truce and UPSR

Im posting this new post bcos:
1. Im so deadly boring
2. I ve finished my works earlier and rite now I m so very obnoxiusly free.. ewwww
3. Colleagues have stopped asking me to do the programme's tasks , even today i was listed as the one who ll involve in the OSPE..but they asked another colleague instead
4. I miss abg so much.. looks like we have exchanged truce again.. ( the temperamental me triggered the situation, as usual)
well.. abg actually had good news to share, ( shud say he's in joyous mood today, cos he did apologise for his inappropriate manner the other nite), the twin both got UPSR results, the abang got 5As and the adik obtained 4As and 1B, not bad for budak kampungs
I didnt know UPSR result came out today, if its not for abang, then i called Che mimi asking for farhan's result. And as expected, he got 5As as well ( so now, he can actually go to mRSM Lenggong like he dreamed of before).. wats with lenggong actually la? Except for the bypass that will go straight to K.Kangsar/Sauk if we used the East west Highway, there's nothing interesting Pekan Lenggong. Hmm.. being Farhan, even his mom cudnt guess wat's inside his mind.. too cheeky and too smart for an old spinster aunt like me.. huhuhuhu
still fasting.. anthr day before I ll be raya 6 -ing. Im thinking of masak tomyam today, with macaroni.. huhuhu
I dun hv much to tell la.. except for the crappy ideas that wont fit into tis blog. my colleagues said that my mind has been wandering off lately tho the body is still here. Ada betulnya gak.. I m gonna miss em.. i knew i wud...
watever it is.. blogging goes on..

Hoorayy

so i ve finished marking pharm chem paper.. yippeee.. 6 failed ( thanks GOD its lesser than last sem.. ) but i wont be respnsible for the resit paper.. cos i ll be 250 km away from ipoh at that time.. ganesh will be handling it on my b ehalf..who cares.. heheh
had a mild fight with abang last time.. and he's hasnt called me till now.. haiyaaa..
i wont be lenient tis time.. let he call me and say sorry.. i m tired with his yellow jokes.. as if i have nothing in mind exceot that 3 letter words.. erghhhhh
.. tho its a bit quieter without his sms and calls...
nvm.. i ll survive..
4th day puasa 6...
anthr 2 days to go.. then
RAYA 6...

a full weekend

yesterday we had a very 'full' day.. went to 3 open houses and came back feeling like a fat cow. Drank gallons of water and ended up being diuretic LOL. Anyway thinking that its gonna be my last raya in ipoh..i m gonna cherish everymoment of it.. its not easy to bfrend ppl,, but in ipoh i have the bestest colleagues and we re really like happy family
it will be different when i m in UPM. I ll be so lonely ( can hear Akon singing the song now).. and miserable as usual.. ( it wont be so if abang is still around, I hope)
by the way , he's planning something and thinking of buying anew car, ( for the biz, tats wat he told me).. well lets just wait and see.. hmmmm
and today is also the first day of the final exam. started with my paper.. hope that i can finsih marking em within 2 days.. hahhh.. nowadays it seems like time is not sufficient for me.. i ve got lotsa things to do and plan.. but at the end of day, i ll be terbongkang on the bed as usual..
yes.. im getting old.. i can hear my bones crunching everytime i toss n turn on the bed.. duhh
cant wait to go back to KL tis friday.. but the top of all, the idea of looking for a new place to stay in serdang..make me so enthusiastic..
its sad to leave ipoh.. yes,, if its not for being so ambitious ( am I, hmm?) , I d rather stay in ipoh for the rest of my life.. but then.. yeah.. life goes on..yuckss..

Eid.. 2005

a week after raya. Too lazy to update tis blog, but then when i started reading other ppl's blog, semangat tu dtg berkobar.. huhuhu.. still got no idea to write about.. Guess i m not in tis blog-ging anymore.used to love writing where i cud write abt anything or most of the times i write in my minds.. got all the words right in this right brain of mine.. hmmm
maybe i shud start reading abt " how to used yr brain effectively"
so i f u have started fasting on 2nd syawal tomorrow will be yr last day fasting before celebrating raya 6. ( i ve just started today)
Selamat HariRaya 6 to those ppl.. usually elder ppl yg suka start posa awal2 ni.. the middle and the young ones like me.. will only start fasting within the end of syawal.. but this year, i tried to change.. hahahaha.. last 2 years, tak posa 6 langsung pun.. ilang cam tu jek dia bawa arus malas... heheh
my relationship with abang? hmm.. been on n off since malam raya.. and we ve been bertekak every alternate days.. maybe its just me.. or its him.. been so sensitive and me been so hard headed..
tah le..sambung len kali la plak.. mood gone in a sudden.. missing him a lot..
and i still havent packed all my things yet.. moving out is within 2 weeks.. huhuhuhu
Happy Eid..

Diwali

2 days before raya.. not much thing happened tho. And after a few days been in kg, i went out for the first time today, pi KB mall.. huhuhu.. abg li went back to Pasir Mas with his crewcabin.. so rasa aman skit dunia hari ni.. except for rafael and elsa yg sekali sekala menguji kesabaran mummy n papanya..
hari buat kek sedunnia, tho i dozed off all evening.. overall nothing much happened.. rasa damai duk kat kg ni.. suh bak pi alter jeans, unfortunately kdai repair dah tutup.. camna nak balik Kl nanti since aku tak bawak extra clothes..
called abang.. he's in alor setar, bawak anak2 pi beli mainan kat kedai depan, i could imagine.. pas tu he walked to the nearest bus station to go back to perlis.. in the bus, he sms-ed but i was too drowsy to call back.. when i called again, he has reached kangar..
im gonna call him later tonite.. rindunyaaaa
and i still dun hv the gut to tell ma abt him.. biarlah.. let time decides.. when he's ready (financially and emotionally) to marry me, I ll inform em.. but rite now.. no need.. besides, abg li dah tau my relationship with him..
esok.. last day preparation for hariraya.. and today's Diwali for the hindus...

Aku yang kacau...

Lagi 3 hari nak raya dan 2 hari aku kat kampung. Pasif jek kat kampung ni.. asyik melengkau dalam umah je. Nak keluar pun malas, kenangkan manusia yg semakin hari semakin ramai kat bandaraya islam ni.. Tapi yg bestnya time buka posa la ( walaupun semenjak balik ni aku tak posa agi hehehe)
Rindu pun kurang skit semenjak duk KB ni.. takder la treingat sangat, malam tadipun.. aku bengang semacam jek kat mamat tu.. demand yg mengarut2.. terus aku naik angin.. hari ni malas nak ingat pasai dia.. kalau break up pun lantak pi la..
kengkadang aku pun takpaham.. perasaan aku ni masih berbelah bagi.. sekejap aku rasa ok.. sekejap aku frust ngan keadaan dia.. jahat ke aku ni.. pikirkan apa yg trejadi pas kawin..
bukannya nak cakap aku perfect.. tapi ntah le.. pening kepala duk pikir.. last2 taknak pikir langsung.. boleh ke aku hidup ngan org macam tu agaknya.. kalau setakat cinta, takkan bahagia gak satu2 perkahwinan tu kan.. banyak lagi faktor2 yg menyumbang ke arah kebahagiaan..
ntah leerrrr...
baik aku pi tido.. layan chat pun dah malas aku ni.. nak merapu tak tentu pasal.. bukan aku der tu.. betul la org kata.. manusia boleh berubah dengan masa..
aku pun dah berubah agaknya.. kearah kebaikan ,, heheh

BLOG-illiterated

Sesungguhnya dari hari tu aku mmg bengap pasal menda ni.. nak cantik blog pun mmg tak der skill langsung.. ish.. mmg tak creative la budak ida ni..
pas tu lagi satu yg bermain di pikiran aku, ada ke org yg baca blog aku ni? Pasal.. dlu aku ingat bila dia hantar email bagitau one of yr blogs has been changed, aku ingat aku la yg bertanggungjawab mengubah kandungan blog tu.. tapi ada ketikanya yg aku tak updatekan blog aku sampai setahun, the blog admin kept sending the email telling the same line.. and ada jugak yg bila aku tak update sampai seminggu, it will keep on sending the email..
so persoalannya.. ada org baca ke blog aku ni? dan kalau ada boleh tak bagi evidence yg menunjukkan my blog has been visted by the "visitors' give some comment perhaps..
tho i ve to admit this is the plainest blog that I d ever created... jeles camna dia org leh include cam2 dalam blog depa.. dan aku takleh.. huhuhuhu
tolong danbantula aku yg buta BLOG ni..

Rindu yang sarat dan sienna Part II

wat a beautiful morning.. guess when i ve finished all the works, papers been marked etc, the morning seems more beautiful.. and I ve time to update my blog, besides, tis is my last day before going back for raya yipppeeeeee..
bercerita tentang rindu..
abang has been telling me so frequent, abouthow he missed me so much that it hurts.. and I tot it was just a phrase..
so now bila org cakap.,. rindu yang menyesak dada, or rindu yang sarat, they were actually referring to the physical pain due to tis longing..
hahahhaa tak penah plak aku rasa cam tu... rindu pada aku.. sekadar ingatan yg mendalam pada seseorang.. tapi takder la sampai termimpi-mimpi..
taktau la di masa akan datang...
tapi rindu sampai menghimpit dada... uishh.. and i tot i m having a sudden heart attack.. LOL
Tapi mungkin gak.. perasaan seseorang tu tak sama..
dan kata abg, bila dia merindui aku, perasaan tu menghimpit dirinya, menyesakkan dadanya.. hmmmm..
taktau plak aku kerinduan dia sampai ke tahap tu... huhuhuhu.. bangganyaa...

dan kerana perkataan rindu itu la, aku cuba mencari makna yang tersirat di dalamnya.. uish.. ah lama tak jiwang- jiwang.. so aku pun rajin la plak cari anything yang relate to 'rindu' kat dalam internet ni..

okeh jumpa. ada satu.. yang rasa kena dengan apa yg aku rasa or apa yg abang rasa.. aku paste dari satu blog.. ampun cik nazrah.. hopefully aku tak kena sue pasal plagiarism..

Ada Rindu

Tiada perkataan lebih indah

membicara rindu

sedetik kutempohi

kurasakanberibu berlalu

Bilakan ketemu lagi

asyik ku termimpi-mimpi

naluriku menyendiri

sepi dalam hati

Ada rindu dihatiku

asmaramu yang agung

Ada rindu pada yang satu

Semarakkan cintamu untukku

Walau tak bersua

tiada ragu dihatiku

panahan pesonamu

hatiku hanyalah milikmu

Hanya pada kamu

berbungalah rindu

cetusan hatiku luhur

Hanya pada aku

mekarnya cinta mu

Semarakkan cinta

yang kita bina

ke akhir masa

masih menyala

buat selama-lama

bersamaku

pinggirkan sendu syahdu

cintailah aku

hadir dalam ruang sepimu itu

posted by nazrah at 11:54 PM

agaknya itulah rindu pada abang..

aku nak tulis puisi? hmmm gelak kat org ada le..

i used to write poem when i was very young.. and i tot it was my best poems ever since.. i asked a few friends to read it.. and they said it wa ssuch a sad poem.. ( it was my intention pun to see whether my poem will make em weep).. and they did .. so i said to myself.. I m gonna be a poet one day cos i can write poems.. hahaha

budak umur 10 tahun apa la yg dia reti.. she tot she will excel in everything she did.. and 27 yrs later.. she was destined to be the only thing that she's never dreamnt of.. a scientist! hahahah kagum gilo makcik.. and the only thing that she can write now is.. ( with assistance from all the professors and lecturers) scientific articles!.. tu pun terhegeh2 kalau tulis kot english.. nasib tak direct translation jek..kakakakaka

itu le.. zaman dlu tak gheti2 nak pi oversea further study.. but on 2nd tot.. I knew i wont survive if i were there.. health being i meant..

therefore i do envy ppl who can write well.. huhuhu... my next resolution.. nak ambik creative writing course sementara masih hidup ni..

ok le udah udah le pasal rindu.. pasal ianya sukar utk diluahkan dgn perkataan.. sesuatu yg tersemat dihati hanya boleh digambarkan melalui perbuatan ( for certain people la)

dan rindu bagi aku... hmmm jap nak pikir

bila bau badan pada pakaiannya melahirkan perasaan bahagia di hati..

bila kata-katanya akan selalu terngiang ditelinga

saat mendengar suaranya , terlerai ingatan padanya buat seketika

bila tidur mahu diuliti bisikannya

bila bangun desahan nafasnya yang pertama sekali ingin didengar

bila berjumpa, bahagia bila dapat menyentuhnya walaupun di hujung jari..

tapi yg paling meruntun jiwa..

bila pandangan matanya tersinar perasaan kasih..

.. dan tamat le kisah jiwang-jiwang aku pagi ni..

abang tgh buat apa agaknya..melukis sampai pagi ke ?

ha..lagi satu.. erti rindu bagi ku..

setiap sejam call sidia.. (bergantung pada terma dan syarat)

kengkadang 2 kali sehari..

tapi yg harus.. sebelum tido..

ooh.. rindunya..

jao nak call abang.. hihihi

"How you feel is not the result of what is happening in your life - it
is your interpretation of what is happening." - Anthony Robbins (1960~)
American Author, Speaker

and now.. i m missing him so much...

lambat lagi nak jumpa, pas raya ni.. i ll try to go back on the 2nd saturday.. rindunyaaaaa

so yesterday, after we knew that the gaji has been banked in..everyone rsuhded to the bank.. withdrew as much cash as we could, and ran across the road to deposit it in maybank acc.. ( we re so much obsessed with maybank2u these days, as everything can be done at the tip of a finger, (tapi kengkadang nyampah gak bila kena tunggu lama nak dload its website)..

so yesterday was shopping day, being pauper most of the time we ve decided to shop at the UO which is just opposite the college. I bought a shirt for my dad, one for abang.. tho there wasnt any suitable size for him, he wears XXL.. i bought an XL instead.. so by hook or by crook he need to wear the shirt, make the stomatch a bit flat , put off weight a bit.. janji muat.. hahahah ganaih nya org..

I was asking his fav color when i planned to buy him the shirt.. and he said sienna.. being a stupid me, but a bit brighter at the other side, i surfed the internet searching for sienna color.. so i found these pics

now i knew wat sienna color looks like.. ada la abit macam earth color.. hmm cantik kalau ada kitchen cabinet kaler ni..

we had an iftar at d'polo with kak wan and anuar while the rest had their iftar at iqbal's hse ( me the shy one decline the invitation politely ) the food was nice and worthy for 19.90/pax. anyway i wasnt able to finish all those food, just a plate of nasi capur, with various kinda lauk, and one scoop of fruit salad, a glass of asam boi iced..

huhuhu.. nyesal tak makan banyak.. but my stomach will explode if i kept on filling it ..

jadi le tu... makan tu kena la berpada2..

Rindu yang sarat dan warna sienna part 1

uih.. semenjak 2 menjak ni.. bz kalahkan professor, bebduak ni plak tak gheti2 dah last minute cam ni baru berbondong2 antar draf tugasan elektif and expect me to correct em and give em back ASAP.. apasal tak hantar tahun depan terus.. kwangkwang..
pastu bila cakap tak sempat nak baca, mula la buat muka sedih.. dah le tu.. dah tau assignment tak siap, balik raya tu jgn le awal sangat, ni.. kalau boleh asal antar cacamarba jek.. pas tu expect aku gakk yg restructured balik dia nya tugasan.. tensi tul.. alamak.. sambung esok.. fz dah ajak balik

HariRaya countdown

or... its best to name it as balik kampung countdown.. heheh anthr week to go.. and im off to KB.. kampung here we come....
As yesterday was the nuzul quran day, we had a one day complete rest at home. and a day before , datin endon, wife of Pak Lah has passed away..
nothing much to spin the yarn abt.. I still have 1 1/2 mths in ere before leaving for UPM. thinking abt my realtionship, new working environment at a new place.. just dun feel like thinking abt all those...

Uwarghhhh

i am not in my greatest mood today (as if i m in my best mood everyday.. duhh).. seriously, while they were having a meeting just behnid my seat, i was gladly staring at the monitor neglecting all the issues discussed. I dun feel like listening to any agenda now that i m leaving in 1 1/2 months. I just dun hv the mood today uwaaaaaaaaa..
and tis morning before leaving to work, I saw dr shahdan on tv, talking abt gout.. ( one fav topic that i ve been teaching) ..
mybe its the pain, or the loss of energy, i just dun feel well tis ramadhan, its been on and off.. and today.. i feel like curling in bed, closing my yees and feeling the warmth of the blanket..
I am so tired.. helpp... tis kinda situation will occur to ppl with RA once a while.. very often to some of us..
now.. wheer was i just now? trying to digest what these students wrote about domestic waste, i ve been staring at the words while my mind is roaming off..
the throat a bit sore.. guess the viral hasnt been completely eliminated yet..and my feet has swelled to the size of a dinosaur.. huhuhu
Im not complaining.. infact ive passed the complaint stage.. so tis is my bad rheumy day.. have to go thru it no matter how..
how do i define my day today? ...
Glum...

Emotion and Mid Ramadhan

I wasnot in the best mood yesterday as I ( + the other colleagues couldnt log in to internet for one whole day), due to some technical problem ( as they said, and in the afternoon, we ve been told that internet isnt available for a week, due to the kokak main server , duh.. ) as most of us in the college are very internet dependance, duh.. life wasnt the same without internet.. hahahah..
so my behaviour was a bit weird yesterday, as they said, i ve been disturbing everyone in the office. There was also a majlis khatam quran and i didnt attend, segan i cudnt sit on the floor by myself alone.. huhuhuhu
the rest.. hmmm... after a long weekend, i really dun feel like working.. but work is work.. cari makan.. nak dapat duit raya heheheh
so when i woke up tis morning, didnt look forward for the day .. internet is still kaput uwaa... anyway we have the photo sessions with the students today.. and rite after the session, i just found out that we have gotten back the internet.. yeahhhhhhhhh...
i dunno.. maybe its me.. but it did give some boost for me to finish marking students paper..
like wast im doing now.. blogging rambunctiuosly... hahaha

my turn masak today.. hmm.. time to browse thru some recipes..

Grrrr

men and their egos.. I dunno y.. its so hard for them to beg forgiveness or saying something that we, women wantto hear. Yeah, i do hear the love word every now and then. But once we wanted to test whether they do love us truly or not.. they ll show their egos first!
And.. everything is ruined today. Its all started with I ( of course i have to act nasty once a while) tried to disappoint him by sms-ing him that i wont be able to go back to KL today. ( the reason is, I want to see he's begging me to go back no matter how, ( so, i m the cheeky one.. ) but he didnt. he even said that he got the feeling that it wont happen anyway.. yaeh rite! ( mistake no 1- so, he never think that i d stand to my promise, okay... ) then, we i gave him a hint, he said" buka puasa sekali apanya, kan tak jadi balik " Okay.. so still the nasty me.. I replied" buka ppsa pada waktu yg sama kira sekali gak le " then he said " ada buka posa kat kompleks kraf " ( mistake no 2- he ll go buka posa there, so i m not that important to him, wats with the " i ll pick up, buka posa together,and later we ll spend some time tgthr) ..then i replied " actually i m going back today, but since u want to buka posa there, fine with me, i can go back home by myself, no need to pick me up -- ada nada2 merajuk di situ, cant he notice that!)and he replied " OK!"
things a bit heated now.. with that OK.. i m declaring war!
the evil side of me is ubiquitously dangling on my head..then my next line was " I changed my mind. Im not going back tis evening as i dun feel like going back anymore" then the answer came " OK, u said it"
Its getting worst.. i wont surrender to his OK..
" U never want to me to come in d first place, I ll buka posa with my old flame then. he's been asking me many times, thats it!"
His reply" Ok. have a good time then!"
Fine. If Mohammed cant come to the mountain, We ll bring the mountain to Mohammaed..
My anser" Ok then, U have given d permission, i wont feel guilty then , next time im going out with him "
Serves him rite..
His anser " the pleasure is mine.. mine.. mine "
GRRR...
I d rather take a anap then...
His sms came back 15 mins later " wish u have a good time, Unfortunately i dun have any old flame, the only one tat i had is not good for dating.."
Tit for a tat!
my anser " OK, U said it"
His reply " Dun just say it, do it, prove it to me "
Ok.. how do we call that? a challenge? .. hmmm
My reply" As u wish darling, but dun regret it later "
he's getting over emotional with the next replies " I wont, u got my blessings. maybe u both shud spend the nite together,and while u r at it.. just give me a call to let me know that u r really having good time"
Hmm.. thats too much,, is it?.. ok.. i m not gonna explode..
" one good idea, but no thanks, Im not a slut! dun need yr blessing in d first place. I m a free agent, always!"
Silence....
so.. bak kata Ella, langit takkan selalu cerah.. wat were supposed to become a joke has expanded to one.. ridculous quarrel..
Hmm.. Ella ke yg cakap cam tu....
Im not in the good mood now.. Okay.. here's my plan, i m still going back to KL, wait for his calls or watever, ( depends whether nak jawab ke idak ) , i ll buka puasa in the bus, take a cab when i reached KL, but never.. call him to pick me up..
Im hurt... ( esp the part him wanting me to spend the nite together, with the character in my fib)
ok..i admit i m lying abt buka puasa with my ex.. ( tats wat women do when they want put someone on jealousy, tats typical wat!!)
but it will happen, on tuesday, I ll go buka posa with Dr Shah at heritage..
and men say they ll nvr understand women.. i m one good example..
but that's us! we were created to become unique, especialy on wat's in our mind.. ( something like bermuda triangle la,, unexplainable)
and i hate men today..
guess.. there some thing in men that u cant really change it..

Boring Tuesday

uwarghh.. bosannya.. i had a painful nite last nite.. guess the infection struck again.. the throat very sore and the body aching all over.. huhuhuhu
Abang was a bit depressed last nite as he found out that he's not qualified to apply any personal loan.. thus the plan to get married ASAP is finally shattered.. hmm.. when u ve gone thru many obstacles to get wat u dreamnt of, u ll cherish more when u achieved it.
still marking pharmacology papers.. its a boring day today...
my turn masak hari ni... hmmmm....

Great Monday

yesterday was the boring weekend that i d ever experienced. I dunno, blame it to the fasting month maybe.. ( macam le kalau makan tu boleh ilang kan boring), but the good things outta it.. i spent my time doing 'useful' things like washing my bathroom, organise my closet, mopping the room, baca quran.. hahah cam le bagus sgt..
the bad things outta it was, i kept on calling abg.. complaining my boredom and forced him to listen to my ramblings.. hahaha.. when i woke up after a long nap in the mid noon. woke up only to watch the boring melody.. as the hosts kept on blabbering.. wasting their arliur bulan bulan posa ni. called abang. he was working at tat time.. dia cakap.. haaa mengalahkan si tompok tido.. keh keh keh.. kiut gak.. comparing me with tompok the cat..
so i m so fresh n zesty today.. maybe i missed coming here after one longweekend.. at least in here, i can always rambling and teasing other colleagues.. hehehe
wat else la.. bz marking paper now.. and daydreaming in between hehehe

Working Saturday

not much hapepned today.. the college seemed so quiet as most of the students have gone back home to break the fast with the family. Fz's car cudnt start tis morning so we called anuar to send us to college. and tis morning is the 1st CPE talk.. cik wan has been talking abt her CSL and Pn azizah talked abt problems solutions. while we were at it.. Hj Sila were asking our solution to his personal problem, regarding his female offspring. something to do with her relationship with a non moslem guy.. so everyone of us tried to give some so-called opinion, I wud have relate my experience of having a converted sis in law in the family.. but then.. i guess it did include an age factor.. when u r matured and at marriagable age.. its understandable if u still wanna proceed to tis kinda marriage ( after listing out all the pros n cons, listening to the elderss personal views, and on top of it, they r ready to undergo such marriage.. as my dad used to say to my bro.. almost 10 yrs ago.. when he ask my parent's consents to marry his current wife " when u married a convert, u now have the big responsibilities to lead her to the right path, u ll lead her, not the other way around.. and watever happened in the future, its u who have formed the new image of yr wife, u ll be responsible for everything she did, is doing and will do in future. So, if u think u r ready for all those, I have no objection for the marriage (while my mom was weeping behind him)...
I guess, in every marriage there wil be risks and one has to face the risks no matter wat. Its part of our lives anyway. I, for instance am risking myself to ge married to soemone who is financially unstable and not even graduated . However i m willing to take the risk, i ve prepared for all the worst consequences, wat ever it is, it ll always come back to square one, its all destined. and mom always do have problem with her future anak menantu , hmm come to think of it, most of my siblings had problem with mom when they wanted to marry, except for Zuni and cik Mimi.. the rest, they r all not suitable for us in mom's eyes. I ll be the last one , and i have suffered from it already. and mine is " he's taking advantage of u " *sighs*. nobody is perfect to her, but the good thing is. she wont prolonge the matter after marriage, and she's willingly accepted all her menantus after marriage. I guess thats the reality that u ve to face if u have an easily influenced mom like our mom.. huhuhu

Bak is more rationalized and understanding tho.. ( he does hv flaws in other aspects) but telling bak wont be so dramatic compared to mom. but when it comes to these kinda matters, i d comfortably tell mom.. its more like a 'woman thingy" .. huh i guess i have to change my strategy then... thank God i ve told abg li abt it.. abg li can give some useful info to mom then.. hmm hmmm

wat to cook for buka posa later arr? shud go thru some recipes online then...

The Dull Friday?

I found out that my blog has become duller each time I wrote it. Not to mention that i am the only one who wrote and then read it, some kinda feeling of 'syok sendiri' blog.. hahahah
anyway, maybe due to my post pain,, ( i had a terrible pain last nite all over the body esp, the bones surrounding my chest and lungs.. heeee.. Prof shahdan did mention abt the high CRP will lead to asymptomatic chest ailment.. maybe the lung vasculitis.. ? ( need to check wat its all abt.. when it comes to medical term, i d rather read the cure for it..
There's no one in the office at the moment.. looks like the men have gone for friday prayer and the women.. either went back home, eating quietly in the inner sanctum or.. baca quran as santi is doing now.. Just finished creating qs for the pharm chem next week.. looks like these students are hungry for the tests and quizzes.. dunno what they r up to.. but come to think of it.. they wud have to study earlier.. no last minute revision then.. huh? is it?
its kinda cold today.. the back is still aching tho.. cant even chuckle, sneeze or cough a bit, itd surely hurt like hell..