of steamed banana and toast

 A blessed friday morning...

Dont forget to give your sadaqah today ye :)

Btw, the above title reflects  what I had for breakfast this morning...

I purchased 5 kg of pisang nipah from shopee more than a week ago (hahah yes.. i m a bit crazy about bananas nowadays), and a week before that I bought 2 kg of them and when it came.. 3/4 of them have ripened already... and yes, 2 weeks before that I bought 3 kg of plantain banana and a week before I bought 2 kg of pisang nangka.. (so now you can see how crazy I am with a series of banana purchasing episodes from shopee.. TQ SHOPEE (tetiber)

So, after waiting more than a week, bibik told that 5 pieces of those bananas have already ripened, so I told her to steam it instead of boiling it.. 

I still need to think of what I m going to do to the rest of them..haha

The nostalgic memories of having "pisang rebus" for breakfast still lingers. Many many years ago I used to see some makciks going around in the hospital wards asking us, the patients to buy them for breakfast. You see, I  ve been admitted  very early, the first time was when i was 10 y.o. At that time, as my mom was busy with my kid sisters and bak was busy with works, i ve been all alone without any guardians. The first time I was admitted for 2 weeks and fast forward, i was admitted again when i was 16 y.o. During that year, 1984, i was a frequent patient in HUSM, i even had a pet-medical student bro during that year haha. (still remember his name, Sulaiman.. he must be an established med specialist now)

Enuff... 

so  how's your pkp episodes? 

I got a paper accepted this week,and this has demotivated me to complete other tasks for this week, hhahah 

I went to ENT on Monday, appointment to figure out my vertigo. I was diagnosed to have BPPV. and need to go for a physiotherapy 2 weeks from now ( which I dun think its necessary, now I have learned it from the youtube hahah) well we ll see about this. not to mention the quarantine state that we have in Selangor now.

till then.. still need to accomplish another paper today.. 
Next week is gonna be a hectic week thou..

Till then

P.S I m going to insert a motivational quote on the day I post my blog.. at least when He asked me what good that I ve done by posting my blog, I can answer this

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Sometimes the best thing you can do is not to think, not wonder, just stay silent, sit still, just calmly breathe & have faith in Allah that every issue in your life will work out for the best

2021

 Hello 2021...

Believe it or not.. i did not post any last year.. 

I had one drafted last November but ...

NVM.. nothing to expect thou in 2021..

Working from home did make me a lazy one..

Till then

A YEAR HAS PASSED

Seriously.... its been a year already since my last post??? ( surprised face inserted)
 Well.. a lot of things happened thou.. . jeng jeng

1. I went for a haj pilgrimage on 14/8 last year.. with my bff, as my companion.. and surprisingly I did survive.. walaupun masa kat Mina I think I was the most suffered person on earth hahaha..
nevertheless, with all those hardships, Allah swt still ease me as I managed to go "melontar' by myself. It was such a memorable experience, and I m beginning to miss masjidil haram and masjid nabawi more and more after that.. a new haj year is approaching, and its still a wonder I managed to survive and perform my haj with this condition of mine..

2. My niece got married in November.

3. My brother in law passed away in January 2019. and until this moment. I still weep in silence whenever his name is mentioned. he was such a kind BIL, and his death really utmostly shocked us.

4. Another niece was married last month, in March

5. Not in chronological order, I managed to get a new maid which is now still working with me rite after I came back from haj. After 2 "kabur" maids before that, the current maid is.. hmmm.. ok la beggars cant be choosers anyway.

6. I had a very high fever during raya last year. that left me "blurred" during the first and 3rd day of raya. dunno why..

Workwise... am good. had to use my veto for the postgrad yang tak gheti nak take the many chances  that I ve given. I  think I m being too lenient all these while. until I cannot take it anymore.. so bermula la a series of meroyan episodes which I feel like cursing and slapping that particular student... only I didnt do it in real lives. Alhamdulillah.. the emotion is still controllable

Frankly speaking, its been getting more and more stressful with the current working scenarios. The top people are planning to merge our department and there will be a new restructuring starting June. as a marhaen staff, we ll just follow suit, disappointment is there anyways.

well.. I guess that's all. for now

End of April...

Greetings
Luckily I still remember my pw. it is so confusing sometimes as my both working and non-working emails were registered with google. so in order to activate this one I have to quit another one.. ( occay, not important thou)

Anyway, remember when I previously stated that I am undergoing a major surgery in january? owh well it was postponed to February due to a higher crp level. I then saw my Rheumy and she suggested to take another biologic which can be taken orally. I took a 3 wek trial and my crp went down drastically. So the surgery was set up to february.

 A week prior to my surgery date, I fell again... ( like againnn??? whyy whyy) .. 
I hurt my arm.. thot it was dislocated.. they sent me straight away to emergency after taking an xray. Funny thing happened, the doctors were all set up to straighten my arm.. and suddenly another ortho MO asked them " are u sure it is dislocated".. so they were all "menggelupur" and sent me for another x ray for both elbow joints to compare.. and it was ... jeng jeng jeng... NOT DISLOCATED..

so they sent me back home at 10pm, wishing me well for my elbow recovery.. haha

I came back after a week.. and my crp was found high again.. another HO clotted my blood sample so it came back to be diagnosed as low platelet count... so again.. the drs were all menggelupur again.. and asking me ridiculous question whether I had dengue or anaemia recently. I texted my rheumy and she suspected a technical error on the blood result. she asked for another test and it came normal the next day..
but.... the ortho HO still came 'menggelupur" and asked whether the hematologist did come to see me or not or which part of the joint is in pain.. I got tired of answering so I just went with their flow  to avoid the" menggelupurness" haha

Since they postpone it for the 2nd time I asked them to just set another date at the end of the year.. Ye know... not all things that we planned will be fulfilled... its up to 'Yang Di Atas" to make it actually happened..

So I was discharged  and have to reshuffle all my "full"working schedule. 
so my february. march and april went on smoothly except for a few hiccups... 

to be continued---

2017

ai malas nau nak update post. muncul sesekali bulan mengambang jek kahkahakah.
so last post bulan puasa ni lagi 2-3 hari nak masuk 2018 dah.
peristiwa sepanjang 2017 ni benar2 menguji kesabaran. ujian ALLAH yang maha Esa kepada hambanya... kita terima  je la dengan redho..
Kalau nak list kan satu persatu.. sampai tahun depan pun beljum tentu abis.. jadi ...
biar lah akak simpan dalam memori 16GB ini aje kekdahnyaa..kahkahkah

Ada pun...
I ll be undergoing another hip replacement surgery in middle January. Ini adalah bersangkutan dengan Tragedi Oktober di Jakarta baru baru ni...
Nak cakap banyak pun tak guna.. pasal time tu akak tak boleh jalan sebulan setelah tersungkur macam nangka busuk betul2 depan restoran padang kat Jakarta. Adalah dekat sebulan juga akak terpaksa tido terbaring jek.

Anyhoo due to that incidence I was able to pujuk the ortho surgeons to undergo the incoming surgery. Ko mampoo patient yg pujuk dokter suruh buat operation.. bukan ke doktor ke yg selalu pujuk patients buat op? kahkahakh.. jarang anak melayu nih.. syabass betty syabbas.. hahahaha

Sebab itoo lah there is a blessing indisguise in every fall... ecehhh. kalau tidak disebabkan jatuh tersungkur hari tu... takder nya tuan dokter nak layann patient cam akak ni..
akak pun taktau la... dokter selalu cakap akak ni sakit jatuh tersungkur pun manjang happy... lalu akak menjawab/.. "dokter as a patient we need to stay positive all the time.. kan dr tengok saya depressed kan takpasal2 saya kena refer kat psychiatrist plak.. " lalu tuan dokter pun membalas "kong hajaq ko!" kahkahkah

susah jugak dapat consultant junior akak  njh.. dia cakap sepatah akak menjawab 10 patah... stress pakcik tu..

Oke lahh.. akak nak mengundur diri dulu.. ramai org dah cuti dari minggu lepas.. yang akak rajin datang opis ni pun tah apa motif. akak nak balik kg la plak esok barang sehari dua plak..


Semoga bertemu lagi di tahun depan.. time akak rajin nak mengupdate..
semoga 2018 akan memberi kebahagiaan, keinsafan dan harapan buat akak..
excuse kan bahasa2 wicet akak. yang terselit sebiik dua kat post ni..
biasa lah.. akak ni kan cepat terpengaruh.. hahaha

Bye 2017..
Be good to me 2018 kahkah (matik lah kena carut ngan pacik Shahe)

Ramadhan kareem

5th day of Ramadhan....
Dont expect me to show off the dishes that I cooked for Ramadhan..
Nan ado ye tuan puan..
"bukan kah puasa itu sinonim dengan memperbanyakkan amalan bukannya memperbanyakkan juadah?" sarcasm di situ hahaha

lagipun puasa tu makan ala kadar jer... kalau boleh rasanya nak makan kurma jek seketul pastu minum air....
memang nak buat macam tu.. tapi hasilnya acik hypo kul 1.30 pagi terus suruh bibik buat air sirap dan pergi makan coklat hahaha..

eksen sangat ko ni makcik kann

Tapi acik memang kurang selera skit bulan puasa ni... penat la bibik kena masak sendiri sebab acik asik buka posa makan pizza je.. westernnn sangat tu

Oranglain asyik tunjuk juadah berbuka ngan anak2.. acik cuma ada anak tekak.. elok sangat la tuuu

anyweysss...
bulan puasa tu niatnya nak jadi sebaikbaik manusia...
kalau kita tak buat orang orang yang buat kat kitakan..
elok2 acik tgh bergurau senda dgn colleague kat WA, ada pulak orang yang salah paham dengan statement pastu marah2 tak tentu pasal..
sedih pulak rasa hati.. takpe itu ujian di bulan Ramadhan
maka acik pun minta maaf dengan sekelian umat..
balik rumah stress terus demam malam tu hahahaha

manja sangat ko ni acikk..

sekian

Doom's (ke?) day

I am gonna have my teeth ( as in a row of teeth) extracted tomorrow. Sila pegi menangis balik pintu hahahaha.
I have to prepare my mind for a  week liquid diet starting tomorrow hu hu hu
Tak tahu lah.. kan dah 20 tahun acik tak pernah cabut gigi dengan dentist... asyik cabut sendiri je
I have to mark tomorrow's date as one of the unforgettable day in my life...


Ok... propa overloaded..

Entri separuh hati (ku di bawa pergi)

last post was written in April 2016. fast forward its Feb 2017 already. Pheww

Lotsa things happened thou.. I m listing it down in chronological order..

May 2016 - A trip to Bulgaria with sista, more like a conference trip thou, but as usual I managed to go sight seeing albeit my swollen ankle

August 2016 - I finally underwent a surgery to replace the prosthesis due to another infection on the knee. they replaced it with a temporary implant, a molded one made of cement, a very light one thou.. I asked the surgeon, how long should I wear this, btw it was implanted inside the knee, and the surgeon said, until we confirm that you r free from infection and it may take up until 6 months.. and he told me again that you wont be walking without any crutches or knee brace, and at that time I have been thinking about all the lectures that i ll be  missed and MCs etc..
anyway, how long they ll be giving mcs then?

so the first few weeks were tough enough.. wearing knee braces will actually limit your mobility. post op is another torturous moment. You can feel those "thing"rolling inside your knee, trying to adapt itself, and it hurt like........ that i have to move to various knee positions while wailing myself for hours. It did not help thou as the on call MOs did not give me any morphine,  Instead they injected me with pethidine which did not even work on me. so after a painful nite, the surgeon came to check on my condition. he has already prescribed morphine for the post op, but the oncall MO dare to joke with me, asking me on the pain scale.. I told its beyond 10, but he said, i did not look like i was suffering, still can pray and talk... I ignored him then.

anyway... right after i was discharged i had to present a proposal at MOHE, so there i was struggling on a wheel chair while presenting the 'so called" proposal (seeking for sympathy as well lol hence the wheel chair.. too bad nobody noticed *sob sob")

(continue from previous draft yang dah berbulan ni)
fast forward a few months later.. after a few episodes of flare ups,,, uncountable counts to Ortho and RA follow ups.. here I am (switching to "too lazy to type mode" haha)
By the way I did not get the research grant from the shortlisted proposal presentation last August..
still looking for a new one.. (nangis balik pintu)..



eh dah le.. malas pulak nak type banyak2..


Sekian laporan yang tak semengah dari saya..


Till then ..

No title,

Ohh.. sudah lama tidak mengepost.. hahaha
(It's been a long time )

Anyway.. my health is deteriorating at present.. I am not sure whether it is arrythmia.. but I have read regarding all of  it's symptoms and most of them have all occured in me... (nervous). I have been experiencing severe tachycardia for the past few nights, and  back pain as well as jaw pain. It really scared me off  thou..
last week i have undergone another incision and drainage (I&D) procedure, again. I think I have not posted about my previous surgery in December last year, in which the arthro surgeons have already decided in removing my knee implant, due to its aseptic loosening. I have been having infection on the medial knee for a few times, and the last one was in June last year. When the abscess recurred back in December, the doctors have warned me in prior thou, that if it recurs, whether I like it or not, they will have to remove the implant. So when it did recur in December, I  was more than  ready, mentally and physically. and for the next 6 months, i have imagined myself with wheelchair and crutches and knee braces, before they are able to replace  the new implant.
Surprisingly, they did not remove it as according to them, the implant is not loose and still intact. In addition, they found out that the infection was not connected to the implant, thus they closed it .
Well what could I say, I was MORE THAN happy since I am still able to walk like normal. However,
langit tak selalu cerah (sobs), after 2 weeks, another infection was shown on my lateral knee. and with that, they decided to open the knee again.. well, I said - "No! I have given you chance to remove my implant last time.but you did not do it and now, you want to open it again??? NO way JOSE!!!"
well, I did not really say that to them. ( cam berani sangat nak cakap cam tu kat dokter kan) It was in my mind already, but what was just blurted out "Just give me more time, maybe not now, maybe at the end of this year", and I added ( this one for real), "I have already planned so many things  throughout this year", well yeah, the plans that I have decided to postpone when they decided to open up for the first time, and now there's no turning back, comraded.. ( hahah drama sangat kan aku ni)..
So with that final say, they started giving me antibiotic, to suppress the infection. I have been on antibiotic since December until one fine day in march, I went  to another appointment with my Rheumy. Owh.. have i mentioned about  I had my knee aspirated twice within that time, it hurts like hell la weyy, (sakitnya tu disini) and they managed to get the fluid from that infected site.
So when I went for the Rheumy followup, they asked me to stop the antibiotic and started with the antifungal instead, as the results from the fluid preciously taken stating that it's contaminated with Penicillium.
So I started taking Sporanox at the end of March, and last 2 weeks, the infected knee started oozing with some clear fluid, not pus thou. and the next monday, I was admitted again. I asked them again not to remove my implant and was joking with the consultant that I have to go to this one place next month. so he said " Where? 6 feets below?" (Kong hajaq tul kan.. ) hahahaha
anyway to cut the story short, I underwent a surgery on Tuesday afternoon, and the anaesthetist there informed me regarding my abnormal ECG.
But dun worry, I m due for another appt next week, I ll inform them regarding my condition. It might also be from the antifungal drug. I read  that they might give adverse effect of shortness of breath etc, so I m realy hoping that these are just temporary symptoms from the drugs, Aamin...
 owh well..got to get back to work..

Taa..

Azam tahun baru........la sangatt

Sempena tahun baru 2016, saya berazam untuk mengupdate post setiap hari......



Ok la... setiap 2 hari...





Come to think of it.... I dont want to promise anything.... i ll settle for a weekly post...





There's nothing interesting will happen to me within a week..
.so how about once a fortnight...







After a long thought.. and numerous pause... ok lah.. i think i can handle a monthly post (mcm la ada org nak baca pun kan)...





Hmm.. i ll start thinking about the next month's post ye...
Hmmm...
Hmmm..
Hmm....




Ok lah tahun depan la pikir.. aci tak..

Yang tertangguh...
Akak yg hangat-hangat tahik ayam

trying really hard to write.. but as usual.. I failed .. again

I have been trying to update my blog numerous time,,, but alas... to no avail. And today.. I thought, hey since my brain is highly saturated.. as I have been working on a book chapter for the past 2 weeks..I cant stand anymore of all the scientific words..

I have gone through raya and the previous months successfully even though in between I have been admitted twice ( Hey I realized I did not finish the draft narrating about this as I was like writing halfway.. and after a few sentences I had a writer's block hahaha)

Anyway.. I have a maid now... so my house is now double shining and the floor can now be utilized as a mirror... in case you cant find one lol

ok.. what else should I write ere then?
Hmmm...
Kbai..

Pictures speak a thousand words

Blogging is the hardest thing to do..

someone asked me nicely, when will i update my blog? Owh well... I guess a blog should be updated.. at least once a year... or if i were a bit generous, twice per year hahahah..
So here it is...
Do you know that when you are in vacation, you ll always have things that you can properly describe it in detail in your mind and you may translate them into words,, beautiful words.. I might say. The thing is you will be fully inspired with what you feel, see , smell and experience at that time..
and it will only happen when you have emptied your mind from works, stressful works and works again hahaha..
Those are the time that you really see things in their own shapes and sizes.. when in prior you never bother about those tiny things..
Ok lah.. hujan lebat... kang ada yg kena litar pintas lak kat sini hahaha...
anyway.... terimalah..... my favorite place in the world... so far..

Batuks- post umrah

batuk sampai nak terburai isi perut.. nak terseliuh pinggang pun ada... apakah...
anyway, I just came back from umrah, hence the coughs, and the flu and fever.. the perfect combo... ingatkan dah hero sangat la.. lalu kot construction next to our hotel in Mecca ie Kenzi Hotel tak tutup hidung bagai... However the effect of drinking gallons of zam zam water in mecca, really helped me (dengan izin Allah swt jugak).
In mecca, we went down and climbed up the hill every solat time, as Kenzi Hotel is located on the top of the steep hill, and next to the construction site. So imagine me donned with the telekung semayang which towards the end of our stay in Mecca has turned to yellow... and according to the pedometer in my S4 i actually walked almost 3 miles per day during my trip to Mecca and Madina.. Tapi harommm tak turun berat badan... lagi naik ada la.. hukhukhuk
the crowd was extremely congested either in mecca or madina, in fact the population was more than during the haj season.
temperature in Madina is colder and dry. Tapi akak mantain takpakai sweater hahaha. What really amazed me, we celebrated the new year in Mecca and maulidul rasul sambil berselawat ke atas Junjungan Nya in Medina. Both events brought tears in my eyes. Sambil menghadap kubah hijau yang mana di tempatkan maqam Rasulullah s.a.w, the ustaz  narrated the story about the prophet's sacrifice and everyone wept in silence, digesting the story and brought it close to our heart and soul.
I am indeed one of the lucky person on earth to be given a chance to be close to him on his birthday.
We were then brought to the ziarah which included Quba' Mosque, Jabal Uhud, Mina etc. It was indeed a very beautiful experience for a first timer like me. Nothing can compare the experience of visiting Madina and performing umrah in Mecca. but, one thing for sure, do clean and empty your heart and soul from all sins that you have done in prior.
I broke my reading glasses in masjidil haram, and I know it was meant to be. The umrah was performed smoothly despite the huge crowd, and we successfully completed our tawaf wida` right after the friday prayer. Looking at the Kaabah for the last time, brought another silent tears to us, whilst in heart, we prayed that this wont be our last umrah here.
Overall, this trip was so sweet and so meaningful, despite the post-effect, We performed Ziarah wida`, right before we climbed the bus to the airport, and it was another memorable moment  which keeps on playing in my mind until now. Surrounded by so many people whom just finished their asr prayer, we ( me and mom) stood there, staring at the green dome, whilst silently saying goodbye to Rasullullah s.a.w with tears brimming our eyes. We felt his love towards his ummah and we really felt our love keeps going stronger towards him. Ameen

A few impromptu pics taken during the trip. Pic akak takde yek sbb akak cam malas sgt nak bergambo. ada la a few from my bro's hp.nan ado kat sini

The day that I lost my temper..

In chronology:
1.i banged the phone
2. emailed the complaint while wailing
3. came back to my senses and listened to a long explanation from someone over the phone
4. Insaf... terus ambik wuduk pi solat hahaha

and no.. it got nothing to do with lover's quarrel. I was actually raging over some stupid rules and some senseless delivery staff who refused to deliver my grocery when the delivery truck was not allowed to go inside.

mintak mahap abang guard yerr...

PEACE NO WAR!! hahaha

Revisited: Mostaganem

In not less than a month, 2014 is going to end... pheww.. ( lap peluh)..
I seriously think that time files very fast lately. Imagine.. I clock in at 8 ish everymorning.. and after a while, it seems like hours and its almost time to go back home... It is either I am the slow person.. as I am not able to read a few pages from the text book or the clock is ticking twice faster than before.. ( clock ticking sound at the back..)

anyway... I am suddenly inspired to write a post.. today as .. it marked the end of my last lecture, safely delivered to the students this morning , for this semester. We still have another 2 weeks before the whole semester ends, and the final exam week starts..

Let see what I have been doing since my previous post. which is in September...
We celebrated Eid ul Adha in early october, and this time the whole family of my brother went back home. We managed to have our 'qurban' at some place close to our vicinity.
and then my sister and family prepared for a short attachment in London. They are supposed to leave in early October, but still they were waiting for the visa approval first. I think it was the second week of October that my sister managed to take the flight along with her 3 kids and the husband. However, the rest of the family's visas have not been approved, and even my sister's working visa for the duration of 6 months was also not approved. Nevertheless, they went there and have to be back after 3 months. Whilst, for my sister she has to return back to complete her 6 months attachment. Well, if she's still there in march, there is a big probability of me visiting her there. Anyway, the rest of the family will be back for good in the end of December

I attended another conference in Algeria in the end of October,  all by myself. Well, this is my 1st time travelling alone after the major things that changed my life in 2011. The insecured feelings are still there, but I realized I have The AlMighty that protects me where ever I go, and with that I knew that I am all prepared to conquer the world to travel all by myself.. again

A long transit at Istanbul.. ( by the way, the current mosque is now bigger than the last one, when I had my isyak ) during my previous to Albania. Since it is still summer in October, so I managed to have my fajr prayer in the new mosque. However, it was a really long hours before I got to catch the connecting flight to Oran. It was almost 1 pm Turkey time when I got to board, and after 4 hours I safely arrived at Oran. Since the conference place was situated at Mostaganem, the same place I went to last March,, which is about an hour drive from Oran, I have decided not to use the same route from the Last March's flight. Oran is another  international airport in Algeria and several international flights especially from Spain and some neighbourhood countries, but still its size is much smaller than our domestic airport.
Anyway, the conference committee have waited for us there, so off we went straight to the hotel.
and this is when all my misery started hahaha.
The hotel... was not as we expected. the apartment seems like an abandoned building with water flooded everytime we take a bath. The worst thing, I was locked in the shower, as I was not able to open the door. Luckily there are people outside whom unlocked it for me. Was not able to get the wifi as well...
Anyway.. I managed to survive for a few days and flew back home. Oh by the way, I was accompanied by a few Turkish Professor and we were actually complaining about the condition of the hotel. To bad, I was not able to go for sightseeing in Oran due to time constraint. I was hoping that there will be excursion after the conference but they cancelled it at the last minute.
Since I have been there before, I did not feel like taking anymore pictures ha ha ha. By the way, most of the people that i met in Tunisia were there... so I have no problem in mingling with them.

Wow,, this entry took a lot more than I thought...
I d better continue next time...
Anyway, these are all the pics ( still have some with my lovely daughters friends from Algeria). The 1st one is the "hotel". The 2nd one is Oran airport and the 3rd one is the pic that I snapped from the car.
Till then..

5 months later..

New semester started a week ago, and even thou I still have another few weeks before my leave ends.. they have appointed me to be the coordinator for SBP4302, and I willingly accepted it..
No harm thou...
Anyway... time flies... in between the last post, Managed to get another new bibik for mom.. lesson learnt thou.. I sent her to my sis for a week before she went back with my father to KB..
Owh by the way, went to Albania for the conference in May with beloved father. managed to visit the kruja castle at skandenberg mountain.. It was a breathtaking view up there, thou there were a few sellers who exhibited their hand made knitted material up there which kinda interfere the ambience.. went to visit the mosque as well, the clock tower at Tirana.. and joined the group to National Park.. which I found out later it was a Ramsa site, and not like our national park which consists of flora and fauna.. and errmm leeches... hikhik
Anyway. we managed to walk for a few miles under the sun... had the hearties lunch of baked fish and salad.. at the restaurant nearby...
Albania is such a beautiful country... the roses they planted there were the biggest I have ever seen, and being the 'jakun' girl, I snapped most of the rosebushes i  saw during the trip there..
By the way, I  was invited for another conference in Algeria, and this time I m hoping that I d be able to visit Oran and have my picture taken at one of the spot that I aimed during my last trip there. Too bad it was raining that time and we did  not bring any umbrella, and some more we were rushing to the airport to catch an afternoon flight to Algiers
Hoping to meet the people whom I met in the conference in Tunisia.
Apart from that... I had a quiet Eid this year.. all the siblings came back... and my big bro has come back for good from Bahrain. My niece and her friend were at my house for 3 months for their practical at MINT.
owh another tragic incident during ramadhan.. MH17.. I wept  a lot during that time and still weeping whenever i read about the passengers's stories in newspaper these days..
Life is too short... we would never know when is our times.. those are the reminders for us then..
okayy.. one more paper to review..

till then

of Maid and...the second chance

Wesak day today... another public holiday for us in Malaysia.. yippeee... I can wake up late then.. not like other working days..
oh well.. I woke up as usual.. at this fossil age :) I dun think i would be able to wake up late. No mater how sleepy you are, after your face was touched by your ablution... you are now as fresh as before you went to sleep. tried to read a few surahs, yet I left my glass at work. without reading glass, I am half blind.. literally
anyway... remember when I said that I would get a maid in my last entry..?
owh well tragedy occured.
That nasty maid robbed me in the broad day light. last monday morning, less than 12 hours after I fetched her from Rawang, I found out that she has a husband here, and then I realized that her main intention was to be with her husband when she came to Malaysia. It's not that she wanted to work as a maid. She refused to take care of kids as they will remind of her kids.. pbhhttt.
on that same night, a few hours after I brought her back, I called the agent demanding for a replacement. and the agent promised me that she will 'collect' the maid the next day.
Little did I know, she has planned to flee of in the morning. I was so careless, I asked her to sweep my bedroom when I was in the kitchen. and when I went to the room, her passport has gone ( it was in my handbag which I put beside the bed). I asked her whether she has taken it, and she admitted. I asked her to return it and she refused. I searched in her bag, but it was not there. I ran back to my room to find out that my hp was also gone!!
then she followed me to my room and threatened me with a knife that she took from the kitchen. She also tried to tie me, and I was so terrified that I yelled at her.. get outta here with your passport. She asked me to take her down and she promised me that she would return my hp when she's out of here. I told her, with my trembling voice that i would unlock the front door and she can go down by herself. but she insisted that I should take her with me to the front gate.. which is like 100 m away from the apartment. I havent taken my shower yet at that time bcos it was like 6ish in the morning. I just put on the abaya and asked her to leave the knife or I wont take her down. It was happened very early in the morning. I still tried to talk some sense into her. I said i wont get my money back if she just fled off and she dare to tell me.. dont worry you ll get refund.. pbhtt.
Even tried to ask where she would go after this and she mentioned something about her friend at Taman Seri Muda. I tried to dig out for the address and she said she cant remember but she knows the place ( well that sounds weird for someone who claimed that this is the first time she came to Malaysia.. hmm).
Anyway to cut the story short.. she returned my hp and made me promise not to call anyone.. she even apologized for all the things happened.. just when she was out of my sight I called the agent and my sis. I wnt out a few mins to look whether she's still at the main gate.. but she's no where to be seen.
I had a viva in the morning so I have to go to work later. Then I found out that she has taken all the cash in my purse. Made a police report in the afternoon.. and I found out that she also took the luggage bag and replaced with her wornout one. I was so dementedly panick that I didnt even realize that she was taking my bag along with her that day.. never mind.. at least I have my all parts of the body in tact lol..
Thank Allah for all these mishap. This only a very minor and unfortunate incident in my life... there are so many things that I am still grateful with because she did not even hurt me ... there are numerous things that might occur...but Allah save me for not implanting any bad idea to her mind at that time..
With tat, I suddenly realized.. HE has given me so many chances but why am I still hesitating to repent.. I have to admit I have been doing so many sins in the past.. so many mistakes.. and each morning to be wake up alive... its all HIS doings.  I feel so small.. and to think that there are so many people who tried to catch up with all good things in life.. I knew that I am so so far behind. i regret, why I did not realize it earlier.. Stop doing things that wont potray you as a Moslem. You can say that You still have time to repent and would do your solat taubah before you reach 40.. for example. I personally think that I am not yet a good muslimah. I am trying... not to talk so many nonensical things anymore. I left the alumni WA group because I think they talked too much about non-benefecial things. I tried not to talk bad about hatred. I just distanced myself with them. I tried to listen to some fruitful discussion before I went to be every nite. I tried to reduce my time WA-ing.... whoot:). I tried to read a lot of some inspirational stories.. about Robert Davila for instance. About Sheikh Yuseff Estes.. etc. I tried to read few surahs everyday.. and "qadhak" my incomplete solats last time. I tried to be a better servant in Allah's eyes. I tried to reduce the dictation by the Angel on my left and increase the one on my right. I know.. it is too late.. but then.. better late than never.
This is a self reminder.. and to everyone who is reading this.. ( ehemm.. :))..
"Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir. Rabbi tammim bilkhoir. Birokhmatikaya Arhamarrohimin." ...
O my Lord make things easier for me, do not make things difficult for me. O my Lord, increase my knowledge and grantme understanding. 
Aamin.

Of flares.. and colic

Hi..
I have been on and off with several kinds of symptoms..2 weeks ago. I experienced ubiquitous colicky pain on my left abdomen. It reminded me of my kidney stone pain several years ago. But the good thing was, in between pain I managed to do the laundry, cooked, ate, watched tv.. and finished a few surahs in the Quran. was not able to sleep the whole nite thou. The pain became worst during the nite. Owh, took 2 voltarens during the pain episodes. It got better at dawn. Had my fajr solat and went back to sleep, and it recurred when i woke up around 11. My sis came in the afternoon and i handed over all the souvenirs for her kids, had lunch @ Grills. I can only eat salads.
The rheumy appt was on Tuesday,and I woke up in the morning feeling another uncomfortable pain at the left side. Managed to be called upn very early ( well, that was quite a shock.. i mean shockingly glad:). described the pain to the rheumy,and he wrote a reference letter to a urologist. might be the infection on the urinary bladder due to the kidney stone, that' what he said. owh well what else is new..
my knee joint flared up last friday. and on that same day,  mom called regarding the maid.. again. she ( the maid) did not want to work anymore and urged us to send her back home. WA ed the agent, and looked like she has already been informed of the maid's prob. Looks like we are not able to retain her anymore, so the next day, we sent her back.
I am now desperately seeking for another helper for mom. been aggressively calling the numbers in ad, enquiring for a legal helper. I am doing this for beloved mom whom is looking for my sis's kids, most of the time, whilst.. the sister is not doing anything (for now) and expect her other siblings to look for another helper( which is supposed to her task, rite).. well am not complaining... but i pity mom whom is at the golden age.. is still looking for her grandkids.. whilst in fact.. she 's not supposed to take care of anyone or doing anything, at her age.. hmmm
what could I say.. some people are born with different perceptions...
In shaa Allah, I ll get some good news tomorrow regarding the helper.

taa..

Her web, not Charlotte's

Hi..
I ve been abandoning my blog for 6 months.. phew.. and what did i miss here? My 2014 so called resolution? The missing MH370?.. my sabbatical leave which started on the 1st January? me being busy with all kinda things? me flared up? me making some new friends? etc etc..
I could write a book with so many things happened to me for the past 6 months.... NOT
Anyway, let's start with what I ve been doing since early January. ...
1.The univ approved my sabbatical leave for 9 months. So I ll be teaching free until 30th September. 
2. Remember the task force? I managed to submit the draft before my long leave to hometown. and then i continued with the task until Mid February, after never ending emails from other team members and the leader.
3. I attended a conference in Tunisia, and gave a presentation in Algeria. been there for 12 days altogether.. and missed the malaysian food more than ever. No more croissant after the trip
4. The joints flared up after coming back.Down with flu and tonsilitis. horrible coughs till my lungs exploded.. literally.
5. Back to hometown for a few days in Early April. am back now.. feeling much better. pheww.. Thank Allah..
6. I hve summarized everything in not more than 300 words..wow.. so kewll..
7. Ok.. be back in October 2014.. by that time I ll have more ideas to rant about the students.. lol
8. Owh by the way, will be going for another short trip to Albania with father in May.
9. I just realized that I forgot to upload any of the conference pics. they are still in my hp.. hundreds of them.. but ... am too lazy..
10. i m tired. taaa