These crooked little hearts of mine

The Maid

2012-01-24T12:16:00.003+08:00

am feeling very tired today. I dun even have strength to 'bak' at the maid. I let her cook by herself. Just pray to God that she will not poison me with her dish ekekeke.
I ve been 'leaking' at home for 4 days. Dun feel like visiting any of my siblings. I cook whenever I feel too with the help of Indi, the maid. But being a 'practical'person, there were always things that i wasn't satisfied with her. Mom said, she doesn't understand that well. I reckon, after being in Malaysia fr 6 months, there are certain things that she may pick up, for sure. Sometimes i think that i ve committed sins a lot ever since she has become my maid. I d easily get angry. and I am too tired to bark at her every time. nevertheless if i spoke to her in a normal voice, this dud bring more disaster. Oh God, what shall I do.. I am praying very hard that I d be able to walk by myself quickly and dun need to rely on any person. I just wanted my life back, my old life where i lead it by my won self.. freely. Gosh... this maid tangy rally getting on my nerves. In fact think it has tested my patience to the max.
Enuff about it.. not to tell she, the maid has run around at the faculty with barefoot! I ve ben warning her when she did for the first time , and yet she did it again, every time when she had the chance, when she tot i d never realize it... God... i was like dumbfounded.... betul tak makan saman puny budak..
And there war elike many things that she did which made me feel like strangling her.. i ve been stalking the agent to replace another maid, yet... the agent said, she's now out of stock.. boleyy? Pakkal la auk day mintak yg a bit older when i first demanded a maid, tapi di baginya jugak yg muda yg ala 'nymphomaniac". That i will tell in another entry if i feel like it. That's the reason why i dislike her so much but mom said i have to bear it because rite now i am totally relying on her. What if she feels like abandoning me one day. then , my mom said " You will not be able to work anymore"..
yeah yeah... so i will have to bear with her no matter what. *sighing*
I caught her praying without doa kunnt during subuh prayer, and when i asked her whether she forget something, she said no. "What about yr do a kunut" I asked her. "Udahh" she said. There's one thing that i detest her, she never confessed even tho she did it and she likes to blame other person rather than admitting she did it.. and that is another story...hehehe
As for the time being, I asked her to cook for herself when ever she's starving. She only cooked rice and ate it with a pinch of salt, bley? no side dishes. Tho there are fish and meat and veges in the fridge. I told her, its up to u. If I want to eat, I ll cook by myself but dun ever have the tot of me not giving her any food to eat. If she's lazy then she is. Parahhh..
I just hope i won't get any high Bp whenever i m with her.. it's so stressful to think of anyone else when u have yrself to take care of.. she doesn't give much help tho.. and now i think i understand how some ppl are able to abuse their maids. maybe if they have the maids with the similar attitude of mine, they'd surely can't stand it.. but as a moslem who behold to her faith, I d never do things like that... she'd just kill me eventually hahahaha

Things that will make u smile

2012-01-22T13:03:00.003+08:00

Sometimes... there are things that u may take for granted...
things that for an unknown reason will make u smile instantly.. sincerely..
I always have things for those...
like...
when you saw a group of young daddies chatting at the playground...
..or seeing some toddlers playing all by themselves...
those simple things will actually make u smile...without u realizing it

welcome 2012

2012-01-03T15:15:00.002+08:00

Its the 3rd day of the year 2012. yeay! i m a bit excited as i m going back to KL this friday. plan to start working again, with or without wheel chair.. hehehe. The year 2011, has really come to an end. If i could turn back time, i wish id never gone thru that year. It brought such a tragic memory to me. I was bedridden for 5 months. I cried almost everyday during that period when the nurses started dressing my wound. t was a hugeee wound. U can see the muscles and the bone jutted out and the unhealed flesh which gave such a sore sight to everyone's eyes. I was not able to neither drink or eat for months. the smell of any food will make me nauseated. I lost so many weight that i thot i am less than 35 kg at that time. when they started implanting the skin to cover the wound, i had another problem on the donor site. dee to the pressure sore, i had blisters on both my calves. the right one became worst as it formed a hole with some pus inside. and now, the foot is still sensitive from the previous wound. my temperature had more than oct raised up to 40 degree. They didn't give me any pills as paracetamol may worsen my liver state. so i was left with the hypothermic condition more tan once. they gave me lots types of antibiotic from the weakest to the strongest that made me suffer a lot. the whole skin changed to darker color and i was darker than dayang senandung at one time. i was admitted to ICU a few times as well. up to the extent that i tot its the time that I shut give up. I did. I even met each member of my family asking for forgiveness. I read my last wish to my mom. I confessed of my true love to all of my family members. I was such in a sorry state. even tho i know i have lots to repent, but i just wished i t'd come to an end. every time my mom came to see me, she wept into tears till one day i told her she should stop weeping. GOd knows my emotion at that time. It was such memorable incidence.
But then when it was destined that it was not my time to die yet, where as i read and saw many people beside me died without any further causes. I was the one who was bedridden for 5 months and next to my bed, a 26 years old girl just died after admitted for not more than an hour. I should be grateful , no.. i am very grateful as Allah still gives me the chance to repent, to correct what was wrong, to become a much better person and the top of all not to forget HIM. to remind me that anything in this world is temporary. without His blessings, we are nothing. to make me realize that money is not everything ( thou it is still somewhat important,).
own well, we ll just see then. I intend to make this year the most fruitful one. I have no resolution, if i were to overcome another bigger test, i d be 'redha' as usual. after all we re seeking for the happiness during the day after, whats with the one in this world, it is never comparable to the one that we ll be facing soon.

Back...

2011-11-24T22:11:00.002+08:00

Can you believe it? Its been almost a year since i last posted . Yes.. i was very very ill for the past few months. still, i am now recuperating at home. Too many things to tell, yet, I just wish this year 2011 will just end. God has given me one more chance to become a better person ( and I tot i wasn't able to survive last time). I have yet learned to walk again, still not able to stand up all by myself. been on wheel chair for the past 6 months. But I have this strongest will to start my life again and start working, Insyaallah. AS what my bro told everyone who visited me at the hospital, She is one strong woman.. she always is...

Its neither URTV nor MANGGA magazine..okay!

2011-02-01T21:37:00.003+08:00

no. i am still not well, in fact i was a bit feverish this afternoon, my whole muscles were aching as i just climbed up a hilly road to attend a meeting at mtdc building in the morning. then in the meeting i had to delay my nature call bcos i was in the middle of the meeting, and i was located at the furthest seat from the exit door..
and due to the reasons above, i develop a stiff muscle at the lower limb, and due to the pain, my fever developed much earlier today..yesterday, i had it after maghrib and it prolonged till 12 am..
and with this ailment,which i tot it was another uti, I feel like strangling those people who intentionally ( i suppose) made my application procedure undergoes thru fussy process.
Owh before that, i came back early this afternoon, about 3.30 as i felt i couldn't get any work done with my feverish condition. some more it was very difficult for me to get up with this aching muscles...
yet, rite after i reached home, popped up one red pill and another white tablet, there i was better in a record time. had a cold shower, i was sweating alredy. Good... as this is the 1st day the sun shines from morning to noon, i did a laundry and i sweated again while hanging the laundry.. sukaaaaa..
anyway back to my application form... ok i seldom whine regarding the management here, but when they tried to make it difficult in approving my aplication by requesting items that were not in their check list ( i tried to fulfil all the items required), that will be wayyyyyy too cruel then. Just , when the top management were advising us to spend the money ( which is a lot) allocated for those particular activities, and when we tried to apply, they will make it harder for us to get it. I mean, why in the first place YOU told us that we can just apply, any time in any condition and later rejected us, in an uncruel way? WHYYY? TIM KAIIIII? POUR QUOIIII? ( see kan akak dah meroyan)..
and by the way, to whom it may concern, a scientific journal can be named in wahtever names, whether it can be named a DOT MAGAZINE, even tho it is not a magazine , unlike the entertainment magazine cam ( majalah URTV tu), and yet u wer3e so confident to reject the paper which has been published already in the magazine and told me that, a magazine is not a scientific journal, and we cannot accept it "although dah sah sah aku dah printed the whole manuscript, sent it out to you, and there was some info given on that particular cjeck list.... " tapi tetapppp ko nak menafikannya.. ( which i have no idea malaon mana yang cannot differentiate a scientific journal from a non scientific magazine? The name itself wont potray the whole concept of the journal, jibraunnnnn wehhh!
I replied the email tho, stating and even gave the website address of the journal.

Fine, if u do not want to approve my application, lantakkkkkkkkkkk. Its just i have this slightest notion of improvising my this year KPI jekkk...I will be going alone anyway, so it wont be abusiness trip with leisure...If i wont get this fund, tak payah pegii sudahhhhh!
Seriously , in way i feel so disappointed with either the rules or (hidden)procedures practised in this university. Sometimes it was the top management people or maybe the staff under them who make it difficult. Yet, what u demand from us ( these marhain people) are impossible to be achieved. Can u at least practise the give and take rather than taking from us everytime..?
Hangat hati betul laaaaa...

in random.. (la sangat)

2011-01-28T10:32:00.002+08:00

Syukurlah hari ini sudah hari jumaat.. or dengan kata2 omputeh.. TGIF ahakk..
I have not been well for the past few days.. actually it started since the thaipusam day.. my resolution of having my kitchen and balcony floors scrubbed was not fulfilled.. I was too sick to do all the house chores.. i had a n excruciatingly painful stomach.. and a day before i had a roti canai sardin (which i thot i shud blame on this roti canai, fir initiating my stomach colic)..The pain is somehow extraordinary, not like a normal typical stomach pain.. On 2nd tot, it might due to UTI or endometriosis.. I duuno.. I m having another apointment at Rheumy clinic rite after CNY and another one at O&G. in the end of february.. If i could not bear pain till then, I d seek for help in the nearby clinic...( which i think it'd be impossible as I do have a very high pain treshold, unless akak tak meriau terjaga tengah2 malam due to the colic, takder la nak pegi emergency begging for an i.m kakakaka..
I am not going back for CNY. I ll spend 4 days of the festive holiday in Kajang or perhaps KD or Putra Height.. it depends on how well i am.. if i were not in the bestest state, alamaknya terbongkang kat Kajang jek la.. seriously, i dun feel like memerap kat rumah org when i m in my sorry state..
I d be extra bz when February comes.. A bit worried of my deteriorated health... as I dun wanna miss any of the February events.. tapi mampukah akak? huhuhuhu
I ve just been informed that the students will have a very long semester holiday which consists of 4 long months. They will only come in September after Eidul Fitri as KPT has set the beginning of the new semester which will be tallied with europe/uk summer hols.. owhh is that a good news? ntah le akak pun taktau..sebab there wont be anymore sem break and the students esp the final year wil be rushing for their project..
eh akak nak chalo dulu.. nak pi beryls, beli chocolate.. ada CNY sale kat kilang dia kat Sri kembangan till 31st...
ciao

Like mother like daughter?

2011-01-18T12:06:00.003+08:00

Ehemm.. Please give a loud applause to akak for successfully updating this blog within one week.. lol..so let me waste an hour of my time here to ramble over things that had happened over the week...in numbering form ye kengkawan...
1. My niece had her 2nd operation within 6 months, last friday. Akak got a call from mom last wednesday, informing the news. tup tup called my sister, dia cakap esok dah nak kena operate lagik.. terkejut badaks akak ok.. i had one 2 years ago, and the memory of being pushed over to OT is still clear in my mind.. Not to mention of how they stuck a device thru my nose and this device will go deeper thru the nostril till it reaches the wall of my trachea.. and suddenly i was like reaching out for the air.. giler akak rasa cam nak putus nyawa time tu... b4 i really passed out.. ( ermm rasanya dah 'publish' kot this entry previously...), but the experience i tell u, it was once in a lifetime as I am not able to receive a normal GA...
owh back to my niece's story, she's doing well now. I managed to visit her on sunday, and she was still in pain and groggy due to the post-anaesthesia effect. She's only 20 and i really salute her for being able to go thru 2 operations within 6 months.. ko ada?
2. Another niece of mine ( yes i have many nieces, okay) has decided to put an end to her study, after returning to the university 2 weeks ago.. She took a semester leave last semester, after she went there also for 2 weeks.. ( kira 2 minggu tu dia punya treshold la kot kakakak). At that time, she was down with fever, like everyone was not kan..? and decided to take a semester's leave... unfortunately , she's not a strong willed person like her auntie. so she returned to UiTM this semester, at the end of December, and not less than 2 weeks, she's now back at her home.. my eldest sister, which is not very close to me because she was upbrought by my late grandma, which was not very close to me either, has actually backed up her eldest, by saying.. " takpe la, bukan 6 ni, kita mintak pergi UiTM Machang pulak", AS IF, UiTM tu dia yang punyaa... lol...
so iritating la my sister tu,, and my niece tu... is so hardheaded that she never listen to her aunties, yet listen to her 'hampeh' best friend. (Ithink i ve already rambled regarding this..).
My dad is so frustrated, yet he didnt mutter a word when Kak Na ( my eldest sister) broke the news. yet Kak Na was so darn confident thinking that her daughter will be admitted to UiTM with the new course this time.
I kept thinking of how my 2nieces differed so much. One who is now in the hospital , is flying to Australia next month. She 's forced to take a semester's leave last time because she was undergone the 1st operation, when she was about to register At UQ last July, and just about she's going to register back this coming february, she was diagnosed with another lump in her uterus. Despite of her current condition, she's still keen to go there on time, and I hope she'll be able to recuperate in a few weeks time. On the other hand, the eldest sis's daughter, has all the opportunities, yet she tend to waste it.. and thinks that every opportunity will be given right infront'f her face every time face.. fat chance la kan.. as u might be 1st time lucky but the other time, only God knows..
My bro called me last nite, just to hear me give some comments... Sangat la lucu abg akak tu tau, as when i finished rambling thru the phone, he said, "thanks for the komentar" apakah?.... kakkakakaa
I dunno la, maybe its in my blood... I have the talent of u know, keeping inside wats in my mind, and then will vommit it out especially when people start asking.. However tis will only occur to selected people only such as to my siblings and family, my colleagues and good friends. Tak kuasa akak nak berkomentar bagai kat semua orang..
2. I am so happy that this thursday is a public holiday.. yippeeee.. everytime when i wake up from the bed, i wish i can be at home , not that I am not keen to go to work.. , as when i have 2 days during weeekend, i wish that i could be at work instead..see akak adalah sorang yg tidak tetap pendirian hokeyyy..but i plan to go scrub my balcony and the kitchen floor this thursday.. keep on procrastinating the task.. (as if I were so bz during the weekend rite, padahalnya terbongkang depan tv jek kekdahnya kakkakakaa). But u need to have the mood to do the housechores rite.. ( and a proper clothes somemore) as akak biasanya duk sensorang kat rumah, dan kalau takder keinginan nak menyidai kain kat balkoni, i'd be in my skimpiest ever( not in the sense of wearing 2 piece bikini la people, but i ll have my seluar katok on with the tshirt senteng.. (sebijik macam bibik indon tu kakakaka)
3. I had 2 bouts of simpul biawak last nite when i was sleeping.. very double painful as the first one was on my right foot and 6 minutes before my alarm rings, I had another one at the left ... tapi tetap sambung tido till the alarms really rung... of course akak tau la akak kurang calcium.. tapi sekarang dalam progress to take more calcium... ( cant afford to take the calcium tablets yg besar gedabakk tu)
4. I am still feeling disappointed at Kak Na's daughter. My mom suggests that I should narrate my story when i was sick ( all the time) and how i managed to go thru all these , so she ( the niece) eventually will realise how precious her life is, withouthaving to go thru I ve experienced, yet she simply wasted her life just like that when Allah has given her a good health. (tapi akak rasa org yg macam ni takkan sedar sampai Allah tarik balik segala pemberiannya tu kan? Somemore, she ll think that she can totally rely on the parent for life,, Doesnt she has her own life to think about, in the near future? as if the parent will protect her for 100 years, macam la mak bapak ko tu takkan mati kan? Seriously, for a 19 years old girl, she 's still have a mentality of 6 yrs old kid.. ( Hah ambik ko, makcik ko telah mengutuk secara halus kakakaka).. and I didnt agree at all with Kak Na. She's too darn protective which at times, stupidity has becometh her.. Irrational and thinks what she did to her daughter is the best.. even my dad pun malas dah nak layan... he said, it was easier dealing with his children last time, compared to the current grandchildren... Bila my father datang, tau la plak, sembunyi dalam bilik, takut my dad marah.. berkepit celah ketiak mak takpe la plak.. Ikut hati aku sekehh jekkkkk... ishhhh (marah mode is on)
4. ok lah sekian sahaja pelampiasan perasaan tidak puas hati buat masa ini terhadap adik beradik sendiri... I had enuff of rambling this matter priorly to the close people around me.. and it's still not enuff that I need to let it out in the blog... kakakakaka...
Bye

Pagi yang panjang..

2011-01-11T15:38:00.002+08:00

...disebabkan traffic jam yg ala2 ular dipalu dah... kuar pukul 7.20 pagi sampai kul 8.40 pagi... di saat kalau traffic smooth, akak boleh sampai dalam 10 minit sajork... ni kalau mengikut masa, akak dah boleh sampai Kota Damansara, sempat ambik sos ABC yang akak kirim kat bibik mistiah lagik.. nih idok le.. hatta, 1 jam 20 minit itu di manafaatkan dengan mengutuk-ngutuk pemandu yang memandu melintang kalang.. tetiba decide nak ambik lane yg paling kiri semedang sedangkan saat itudia berada di lane yang paling kanan sekali... iya lah.. di ssat traffic jam tu la ko baru ingat yg ko kena ambik exit lane menghala ke KL la, ke Monggolia la kan? ended up makin menjadi2 la massive jam yang sampai post ni ditulis pun akak still taktahu apa kah punca kejadian... takder accident.. ada la kereta rosak tapi tu mungkin sbb berada di jalan terlalu lama kot.. penat tau.. (walaupun akak takdrive hehehee).. nasib takder kelas kul 8.. nasib la akak tak ikut sama ambik pic dgn handphone ( seperti yang 3/4 of the drivers buat) kununnya nak jadi bahan bukti yang ko datang lewat pasal trafic jam kan? nanti boleh fwd kat boss bahan buktinya kan? ada akak kesah? akak walaupun jam 2 -3 jam pun, tetap akak sampai clock in time tu jek.. tak kira la walaupun sampai kul 2 petang akakakaka. ( ni apasal ko bitter mode ni kak?)

Lupa arr nak criter apa.. kelas start lagi 10 minit.. kije cam dah complete la ( for today), dengan pc yg slow cam siput ....
owhh perlu ke akak meng-komplen lagi? Dah takder apa2 yg nak dikomplen kot pun (for today)...
Owh malam tadi akak tido awal.. sebab akak tak lunch ptgnya.. pas tu akak pi makan kat SUP urat Keting ( akak makan nasik dgn ikar bakar jek pun) dan hasil daripada memakan nasik, sangat la mengantuk.. owh jumpa Zizan RL and Cat farish kat situ... (ada akak kesah)... lepas makan rasa sngt mengantuk,,, hasilnya peniduran yang sangat awal iaitu lepas isyak sampai la 20 minit nak suboh... selalunya kalau terlebih tido ni pun dia akan mengundang ke kemengantukan juga pada esok harinyaaa yakni hari ini...
so intipati daripada entri merapu ini... kesan daripada pagi yang panjang itu ( see ada relevant kan entri akak ini hehehhe).. akak ada kelas sampai kul 7 malam.. keleeeess kan? so sepatutnya akak tukar tajuk entri ini daripada pagi yang panjang.. kepada HARI YANG PANJANG.....
motif akak tak tukar tajuk ni.. sebab kalau dah tukar.. apa pekdah akak nak publish entri ni kan? it will be straight to the point... tapikan manusia mana suker direct to the point... dia mesti ada mukadimmah dulu yang memakan masa 4-5 jam... pas tu baru come to the point.. kan kan kan?
Dah.. akak nak pi kelas...

Tahun Baru 2011 dimulakan dengan kemalasan melampau

2011-01-03T21:48:00.002+08:00

....untuk meng-update blog...
sementelah semester baru jek bermula dan pagi ni. belum kuar sinar diufuk timur, akak dan kereta2 lain dah sama2 tersekat dalam trafik jam ke HUKM. Cepat2 pi ultrasound my kidney, and cepat2 melepak nunggu urologist kat klinik..pastu cepat2 pi makan walaupun dah kul 10 am (dah ala2 hypo dah time tu) sebelum betul2 kebulur. Balik fac.. baca thesis lebih kurang.. stress lagi ada lah.. tulis thesis cam tulis karangan saya nak pergi bercuti di New Delhi.. bahasa lintang pukang.. ( makk sangat stresss hokey) yang menyebabkan kemengantukan melampau, lalu akak pun kononnya nak catch my 40 winks , siap off light, kunci pintu lalu tido lah akak beralas kan bantal strawberry.. di atas 2 kerusi yang disusun sebelah menyebelah... 40 winks la sangat.. 10 minit kul 2 baru akak bangun ekekeke...
ok lah. nak sambung my 40 winks ptg tadi to an 8 hours beauty sleep..

KM portal thingy

2010-12-27T13:04:00.003+08:00

boleh tak akak buat joget lambak sekarang sebab dah selamat isi semua kmportal akak sementelah hari jumaat ni adalah deadline nya? weaahoooooo! taksesia akak bersengkang mata di hari jumaat ( sampai minum air suam jek for lunch on that day) dan juga separuh hari , hari ni untuk mengisi menda alah yang masih menjadi kontroversi walaupun dah 4-5 tahun km portal ni di-isi secara online, bak kata TNC Akademik la..
Yerr.. ikut la resam akak ni ( ecehwahh), even tho i keep on procrastinating it, but at the end i managed to fill it within 1 1/2 day.. (yeay sekali lagi).. sila fokus macam akak and why dun u spend the time that u reserved for complaining this km portal, to fill it.. seriously... exchange of emails, endless sarcasms to other clinical lecturers who managed to get their DU54 without even clicking their fingers ( especially not filling their kmportals), ofcourse there are a tinge of facts in those emails.. akak pun geram gak... penat woooo, we have to supervise students, writing papers, do research, applying for more and more grants, and yet those people who do nothing ( not even teaching) have been promoted in a record time.. tak nangis akak tu ?
but then, if u see on a bright side (mode pegang tangan sambil nyanyi nasyid), dah itu rezeki dorang, ( bak kata dekan akak le), the university cant afford to lose them to other private college/ hospital, thus they have to give wat they demand.. and this is actually in line with what KKM has done to its staff, automatically promoted those who are in service for 10 years or more to U54. owh well.. mek xura has already obtained her portion.. tats why she managed to treat us at dchiengmai last month.. akak pun tak jeles la.. she deserved it..
anyway.. where there is a will, there is a way.. aite.. being a staff, i have signed my akujanji which stated that u need to follow watever the university rules and regulation. Who are u kidding with? I mean, if we have set our mind to just do watever tasks that are essential in this university, eventually we ll manage to do it, with a sincerity hokayyy.. ko kalau mengomel sambil buat kije tu.. pahala pun tak dapat...
Honestly speaking, I love wat i am doing here.. i love working here, I am surrounded with good friends and colleagues, some whom u can lean on yr not so broad shoulder, some whom will listen to yr frequent complaints ( of cleaners, lazy students, bad management hihihi) without trying to spread to others lahh. and as long as u accomplish watever tasks that have been given to u, u r on yr own flexi time...
but the most important thing.. u r paid for wat u do.. paham konsep barakah anak-anak? ekekekeke
onnnn another note, the students will start coming in next week...( huwaaaaa, motif emo ni naper kak?). The door will be knocked every 5 minutes ( owh akak sukerr jek), the labs will be full again class reps will call me to ask whether the class will be on or not ( aku tak paham sungguh bebudak ni, sukerr sangat kalau class cancel awal2 semester, pastu menggelabah biawak at the end of semster kalau class belum habis)..
eh ironically, akak pun macam tu jugak dolu2, cuma kalau class cancel akak pi library hokey sebab tak koser nak panjat bukit balik ke hostel.. arakian bebudak sekarang, disebabkan hostel yg cuma sepelaung jek dari fakulti, asal class cancel jek, pi membuta kat bilik.. pas tu the next class, tak datang sebab terbabas.. sebabnya.. ko nengok K-pop video kat youtube sampai kul 4 pagi kannn ( see, akak adalah seorang yg sangat memahami rutin dorang ekekek)
Wahh skill mode membebel akak masih on rupanya... even tho its been months since i last nagged to the students..:P
owh before i forget, ajih has safely back in Kl last thursday.. despite the delay flight on monday, he managed to take another flight on wednesday to paris-amsterdam-KL. meroyan kot mamat tu tak dapat pulut pagi.. bak called yesterday morning, informed that ajih will be reaching KB within an hour. I can imagine he's gobbling the nasik kerabu, nasik belauk and all kinds of kueh (pulut nisang should be on top of the list) this morning. I havent seen him yet, not sure whether I manage to see him before he's flying back to Marseilles in 2 weeks time.. Hopefully he'll remember his "jjamung' before going back.. My never ending missions on "pow-ing" my siblings is still my priority watt! eekekeke
Lunch time already.. feeling so wonderful today when u ve accomplished a task.. owhh... still got time to write one more paper kot. (whoaaaa hooo, gila produktif ko ye akak... jangan riak sudahhh ekekeke)

Last weekend..

2010-12-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks before the new semester starts.. and there's not much that i ve accomplished up to this point.. am trying to fil the so called km-portal but as usual, it is so hard to initiate things like scanning the documents bla bla bla.. how i wish i have an RA to do all these stuffs, also thrashing out out all those papers in my room heeeeee..how i wish i have a genie in a bottle that will come to my beck and call and spring clean my room at the end of each semester.. dream on ah akak...
anyway on happier note, weeekend was fruitfully spent at putra height with aleeya, rayyan and lil areej. It's nice to have some changes in yr static life styles anyway. my usual quiet weekend was transformed to a chaotic one with the wailing rayyan demanding his 'oti cekelat' every 5 mins and areej trying to balance her robotic steps while clinging to bibik's knee. Zuni has tested her cooking skill in making nasi beriani and laksa penang.. not bad tho..
Anyway, as today, am back to usual working routine.. just finished a report on a master's thesis.. trying to concentrate on finishing another paper in the mean time..

oh my.. i ll be going extra bz when the students start coming in.. anyway, will be having a unit meeting on thursday.. and i think i have to be rough ( la sangat) at a few lecturers which are in ignorant mode all these while..
apasal la akak sekarang asyik nak marah manjang ek? hmmm... must be one of the aging smptoms ( or perhaps pre-menopausal? ekekekeke)

owh btw, ajih's flite was cancelled and he's only coming back perhaps this thursday.. i m waiting for the right time to demand for a 'makan busat' sponsored by him.. ekekeke..

till then...

Weekend rambling

2010-12-11T20:21:00.002+08:00

ok lah.. sementelah akak log in internet di hari sabtu, akak terasa seperti mahu memblog la pulak, walaupun amatlah 'rare'nya akak nak buat begini during weekends sebab akak lagi suka tengok astro sambil tergolek depan tv sambil makan tak ingat sambil tambah2 2-3 kali ( yeah there goes my diet plan which i have been faithfully followed dbefore ramadhan last time).. tapi sekarang ni cam rasa mencanak canak naik nya berat badan akak ni.. i did blame in on the elevated steroidal dose which i took priorly , op kos la it will decently raise my appetite.. but the truth is, ever since i suffered from a terrible muco cytis last time, which enabled me to eat and drink anything for a week, I ve realised that i should enjoy my appetite and make full use of my taste bud before He takes it away...once again..
Owh, not that i will totally diminish the idea of dieting again in this lil head of mine, but i will take it one step at a time.. and try to reduce my carb intake.. slowly heheh and eat more veges.. and protein.. and rarely eat fast food ( which i think I ve successfully reduced it as the last time i ate mc donald was 3 months ago :))..
owhh and btw, my stress level is lowering down, thanks to those 2 students of mine who managed to submit their thesis on time... and now, I have to concentrate on other essential things such as filling my km portal, writing papers bla bla bla..
on top of all, during my recent rheumy appt, most of my diagnostic levels have come back to normal.. akak sangat suka.. except for the specialist who attended me , dah ala-ala dr Rozmey dah akak nampak dia,dengan bow tie nya (which i found very weird, hahaha) and the way he enquired me pertaining to my pencytopenia last time... i d prefer to see the registrar instead then...
tetiba takder idea.. i woke up at 6 am tis morning, regardless the weekend... had my bfast at 6.30 am.. and staring at the idiot box for hours before i fell back to sleep on the sofa.. while listening to the korean drama lol. i cooked my lunch at 11 and been eating non stop ever since... dunno why but i think my cooking skill is getting better nowadays kah kah kah. ( who am i kidding aye?).. really regretted that I was not able to attend the baking class last saturday.. walaupun chances to do it at home is very slim as I do not have a decent oven ( yeah rite) but stil, if it can kill my time during weekends, why not.... hehehe.. they said it is never too late to make changes in yrself aite....

I d better key off... nak solat... have a fruitful weekend akak.. ( motif wich diri sendiri?...)

can I spend my weekend in peace?

2010-12-07T22:48:00.002+08:00

Had a tremendous weekend with the parent and siblings. It started with a bbq cum areej's belated bday's party at my younger sis's hse at putra height. ma and bak and xura n family arrived at abg li's house a day before. saturday and sunday were well spent at putra height and we convoyed to DR Cafe's at mont kiara's for coffee session later on. onsunday morning, after having a full breakfast, headed to OU for a shopping session. Back to KD at noon and had a last min dinner reservation at d'cheng mai at sg buloh. we reserved earlier at jeram sea food , alas, as usual, abg li couldnt come back home on time. ( we 're supposed to leave at 5.30 pm so that we'd be able to reach there before maghrib). well it was an excellent dinner as the best meal is always a free meal :). tokk a last minute EL on monday as I feel like being in the same house with the parent. Still at KD :). They went back home this morning , so did i.
anyway, the only thing that spoilt and ruined my weeekend was.. the non stop calls and sms from the studnts which really irritated me. Can't they leave me alone on weekends? can I have my privacy on weekends? I was SOOOO MAD that i neither took any of the calls nor smses.. Seriously, they are too much. During my days i never dare to either call or text my lecturer/supervisor, worried that they might need their own family time during weeeknds.. BUT THE STUDNTS ARE SO INSENSITIVE AND SELFISH NOWADAYS! They will keep on calling you and keep on texting you, thou i did tell them to not to ruin my weeekend.. One of them have already texted me informing that she'll be getting a medical leave due to the chicken pox.. yes, she has been doing nothing since ramadhan. no result no NOTHNG! and she still called me just to inform me that she's having chicken pox? as I if I would not be able to read her sms... ?
I feel like barking at all of them now.. Had enuff with those 2 students whom'r supposed to submit their thesis this week, and yet still struggling with the printing, tho I spent few days of last week to correct their softcopies...
I am sooo tired.. really tired with their attitudes...

banyak benda nak cerita tapi malas nak update...

2010-11-25T11:18:00.002+08:00

Wahh.. udah lama akak tak mengupdate blog.. asyik baca blog org jek, tapi update blog sendiri malasssss.. sebab akak tau paling cepat 30 min gak nak menulis entri baru ni.. buang masa tu.. sebab baca blog org cuma ambik masa tak sampai 5 min.. geddit? ekekeke
Anyways, akak sangat la bz semenjak 2 menjak ni, ni pun sebab dah tak larat nak mengadap draf thesis postgrad students akak yang sangatttt sloww cam kekura tu... arapkan supervisor jek baca laju kalahkan ferrari ekekekeek..
Akak cuba mengupdate previous events secara random ...

Cuti semester : Undergrads dah start cuti starting 22/11 hari tu, tapi akak nengok masih bersepah lagi bebudak yang tak balik.. especially budak final year dann juga budak postgrads.. hari tu minggu exam sengap la kejap.. ( motif akak nak fac takder org ni napa tah)

Raya Haji : akak balik raya haji dengan jayanya selama 5 hari. belum cerah tanah on the hari raya day, akak dah terpacak kat subang tunggu fireflyz yg telah delay selama 10 min dari waktu jangkaan dan membuatkan perut akak tak sabar2 nak melantak hidangan di pagi raya iiatu nasi kerabu. sampai rumah terus bfast dan tepat2 pukul 10 akak pergi mengakadkan jual beli korban.. Fuh, tahun ni, sangat punctual tak macam tahun lepas. sampai jek, semua pengorban dan mangsa korban sudah berada di lokasi. Akak selamba saja tanpa kamera dslr dan juga video cam (tak macam org lain yang berkobar nak rakam), tapi bila melihat lembu tu yang tak putus asa nak jugak bangun walaupun dah direbahkan, akak ada gak pikir.. eh lembu ni cam taknak masuk sorga jek.. kurang redha bila dilihat dari segi perlakuannya.. ( atau pun dia rimas nengok manusia ber-iya nak rakam aksi 18SG nak masukkan dalam facebook ekekekeek)
Balik rumah akak layan 'beretoh" =tidor dalam slang kelantan yang kasar. lama tak dengar perkataan tu, tapi itulah ayat ala2 gangsater yang di letakkan dalam Fb status akak di hariraya oleh abng akak yang berada jauhhh di marseilles sana, disebabkan time dia call, akak tengah tido.. oh by the way, dia dan family yang terdiri drpd seorang isteri dan seorang anak pompuan berumur 7 tahun dan seorang anak lelaki berumur 9 tahun akan balik ke Malaysia pada cuti krismas ini. Siap dah cakap nak makan macam2.. itu le.. masa zaman duk KL dulu.. takmaunya nak balik kg.. sekarang.. ala-ala merindu dendam kat segala masakan kelantan ekekekek
Akak sorang jek yang balik raya haji, sebab abg akak sorang lagi balik on friday. Khamis dia ada meeting yang takleh ponteng.. so ptg jumaat tu dah tercongok kat KB. Walaubagaimana pun, kalau nengok FB akak, perasan tak betapa kuciwanya akak sebab segala keinginan sebelum balik tidak dapat dipenuhi.. Cam ampesss jek org kelantan ni ( eeii ni akak terkecuali ekk) kalau raya haji... abis segala kedai ditutup selama seminggu.. mengalahkan raya poser lagi...

kesihatan : owhh semalam akak kena ambik darah untuk banyak test termasuklah HIV, heoatitis, SLE dan pelabagai lagi.. nasib la akak rasa cam darah dah byk sikit sebab bila MLT tu took out, takder la dia menggodek-godek jarum tu kat lengan akak sampai lebam berbulan.. memancut jek darah tu walaupun slow dan proses itu mengambil masa yang lama la jugak sebab darah tu kena dimasukkan dalam banyak heparinised tubes.
Had another depo jab untuk mengurangkan endometriosis simtoms akak.. sap sap sui jek tu... Hopefully by the next appointment ie on 2/12, akak punya FBC and Hb and liver function semua dah ok... aminn... of lates pun, akak rasa akak dah makin ok.. walaupun sesekali tu cam nak sesak napas gak ( tapi mungkin sesak nafas tu due to akak yang dah gain weight ni, sampai takut nak diri atas weighing scale ekekeke)

Works: haaa.. ni memang takder final end nya... patutnya dah student cuti ni boleh la akak menarik nafas kelegaan dan buat kije sendiri tapi tidakkkkk, ok. Dek kerana 2 post grads akak yang supposed to submit their thesis on 10/12 tapi masih belum habis tulis some parts, akak akan sekejap2 jadi naga atau pun harimau atau pun sang kancil dengan mereka. akak akan juga menyingakan diri dengan staf yang terlibat sebab depa tak buat kije.. asyik ilangkan form orgg jek kije dia pastu antar surat reminder kununnya kita tak hantar report la apa la.. pas tu ada hati nak threaten org.. ptuihhhh..

Home: owhh akak baru la buleh start buat hse chores balik bila confirm menyapu pun takkan rasa mengah cam dulu. At the mo, tengah nak transfer my bedroom to a bigger one sebab selama ni akak duk bilik belakang and master bedroom buat jadi store room, ( bijak tak akak ekekeke). So sekarang dah pasang railing and akak kan hari tu pi bandung, akak siap pi beli lace curtain yang dah siap tu untuk dipasang. owh bandung trip will be narrated later in another para.. ekekekek

Bandung trip : akak kan stranded satu hari bila nak balik KL.masa tu duk pk, mati la aku kalau lama2 stranded ni aku nak makan apa, sebab segala rupiah dah dibelanjakan kat bandung ekekekee. Nasib la.. starnded sehari jek, dan accomodation was fully sponsored by MAS.. merasa la duk 5 star hotel kat jakarta with buffet spread ekekeke. owh it was a fruitful and overspent trip ekekeke. tapi konferens nya takder la memberangsangkan sangat sbb the facilities are badly accomodated. Bayangkan international conference cam tu, toliets boleh takder air dan ditutup by noon. nasib ada toilet kat masjid dimana tempat para students nya melepak. nasib akak tak lepak sekali kat beranda masjid tu ekekeke. Tapi pegi Pasar baru ada lah pengalaman yang cukup menyeronokkan, sampai ada keinginan nak pegi lagik dan borong banyak2 bcos the items there are triple cheaper than those in KL. You can get a blouse with RM10. where as kat sini those yang borong the same item will markup the price to the normal blouse price in KL. owhh sangat heaven bila bershopping altho im not into factory outlet things.. when u spent yr money in pasar baru first then later, u ll be comparing prices with what avail in factory outlets. But still the FO items are cheaper than those in KL. Owh btw i am now addicted with indon sos,ABC which they called it as sambal asli.. sangat la sedappp compared to chili sauce kat malaysia yang manis.. I even requested my brother's bibik who will be going back to surabaya tomorrow to buy me bottles and bottles of that particular brand. Alaaa yang ada iklan kat tv yg duta dia tu Chef Zam tu.,but that one is a different sauce, saus manis ABC yang cam kicap and boleh jugak buat pencecah. Saus asli rasanya cam tak sampai jek kat Mesia ni..
and btw, saus extra pedas in Indon is not pedas at all.. siap cashier tuh warning akak masa akak nak beli.. apparently akak makan sambil marah sebab rasa tertipu... ekekekek

kan dah cakap tulis entri baru dah ambik masa dekat sejam.. sheeshhhhh... anyway this is just the beginiing of the longchained entries.. ecewahhh.. dream on la.. kurang2 lagik 2 bulan ko update kan ekekeke

Till then..

updating..( as if anyone care..)

2010-10-13T14:36:00.003+08:00

Life has been pretty quiet lately.. last week was a bit hectic tho.. with 2 events to attend to in the fac (tapi org lain tak heran pun nak attend tu), but being me, I always remind myself to be involved in any events held in the fac.. yes i am such a pekerja contoh sampai any events to be held.. akak jugak yg kena jadi commiteenya.. kekekeke..
my health condition is deteriorating again.. i thot I m done with it, tapi roper2nya.. i just realized i ve been in shortness of breath lately... tried to climb up a flite of stairs.. i felt like collapsing in the middle of students' crowd while in the process..
bila bangun tido pulak.. i feel a tightness in my chest everytime... having 2 sistas as medical doctors only worsened the situation as they scared me off with their "diagnosis". One made me dementedly worried when she tot i might have lung fibrosis due to the adverse effect of mtx and another sis told me that my eyes looked a bit yellowish..that may lead to the liver failure.. might be.. so akak , being a hypochondriac mula la imagine macam2.. ended up me begging for an early appt of my rheumy clinic..
My weekends are fully occupied.. since the previous weeks.. and it will continue till the end of October.. early Nov, I m going to bandung for a conference cum jalan2 trip. with this current condition.. i dun think I can afford to walk more than 200 m in faster paces... last week, while attending the student's convocation, i couldn't even catch up with a person infront of me while parading from the admin building to the hall.. . i was like.. ya allah.. jgn la aku pengsan tgh2 jalan ni...
I am so pathetic kan? To add it up.. I have like tons of works to be done ( which is not suprising anymore)... I think my Hb is dropping off again... tu yg buat akak rasa macam hypoxia all the time...
Seriously, with this condition, I dun think I m able to take care of myself, let alone others.. when i look at my messy house, i feel like hiring a maid to get it all done...
Enuff said... the colleagues are mostly supportive tho..

I'm blessed

2010-10-01T16:20:00.002+08:00

baru balik makan nasik ayam dgn one of the colleagues.. ingatkan nak kena tunggu kul 5 baru leh makan.. nasib ada yg psychic kat dept ni kekekek..
Anyways,, akak semakin sehat... yang semestinya akak dah agak sebab kalau dah start kije.. seluruh jiwaraga dan juga otak akak akan bertmabah baik.. in fact kalau beku kejung kat rumah tak buat apa2 tu la yang buleh membuatkan rohani dan jasmani (ewahh) makin tak sehat...
So dah hampir 5 hari balik KL ni, selera akak juga makin menjadi2.. recently lak craving for sandwich bread.. semalam beli roti makan ngan mayonis ayam brand tu rasa macam wahhh ohhhhhh heaven.... esok ingat nak buat sandwich sardin la plak...
almaklumla akak ni kan penggemar roti dan segala jenis makanan bertepung (except for roti canai yang jarang2 la dimakan... )... hasilnya... akak dah naik 400 g dalam masa 5 hari.. tak ke bangga dengan pencapaian akak tu hihihihi
esok ada open house kat rumah adik bungsu akak kat putra height.. ahad kena jaga exam barang 2 jam.. ok la tu.. tugas kena baca thesis yg berlambak2 ni masih tak jalan jugak.. insyaallah.. minggu depan boleh initiate.. walaupun banyak lak event kat fakulti ni minggu depan...
akak cuba untuk mengurangkan rasa marah kat post grad akak yg tak jugak hantar draf ni.. walaupun deadline antar thesis lagi 1 bulan... malas nak stress.. kang ada pulak yg tak leh nak telan air liur lagi kang...
driver dah sampai... nak kena balik dulu..

Akhirnya..

2010-09-29T11:28:00.003+08:00

Akak baru balik ke KL 2 hari lepas.. Lama gilerrr balik kg.. seronok sangat kot sampai taknak balik kije semula? Silappp tuan puan adik kakak..
Akak terpaksa mengorbankan tiket balik ke KL dan pulang seminggu kemudian sebabnya...

jeng jeng jeng.....

yer.. akak hospitalized..

sangatlah shahdu raya tahun ni... sebab ...
akak TAK BERAYA langsung... nasib puasa sebulan habis ..
jadi akak bersyukur yang amat sebab akak berjaya menghabiskan puasa tapi tak dan nak menyambut raya..

Sakit yang Allah nak bagi, terima jek la.. takyah komplen komplen kan.. tapi akak rasa ini adalah kifarah daripada segala dosa2 akak waktu bulan posa... hambek ko.. TUHAN bayar cash kakakaka..

Serius akak tak beraya lansung... raya pertama akak minum air dengan kepayahan.. makan pun dah tak boleh.. raya ke empat... since dah tak boleh minum waima makan, nak telan air liur pun hazab sampai pressure telinga... maka akak terpaksa rela masuk hopsital untuk di bagi drip...

Akak rasa akak la org pertama yang time raya turun mendadak berat badan kakakaka.. 4 kg dalam masa 4 hari...

Anyways... bila akak kuar spital iaitu 9 hari selepas raya, semua maknosia dah balik kg.. segala jenis kuih raya semua dah tinggal serbuk kat rumah akak.. so akak pun menyambut raya dgn cara akak sendiri la..nak posa 6 pun maktak bagi sebab dia cakap badan lemah lagi..
Of course, tangan akak masih lebam2 ala2 didera sebab doktor nak ambik darah tak dapat.. katanya urat akak halus sgt.. nasib branula boleh masuk.. kalau tak akak dah mati kekeringan..

Alhamdulillah, akak dah boleh makan dengan sempurna.. walaupun phobia farink ngan tekak akak membengkak sampai air liur sendiri pun takleh telan... Surprisingly akak tak demam langsung... cuma merasa la jadik makcik bisu 3-4 hari...

Now dah balik kije, walaupun segala urat saraf rasa cam disentap2.. tapi kije tetap kije... nak jalan lebih 200 m pun rasa nak tergolek tengah jalan sebab oksigen tak sampai kat kepala...redha jek la akak....
Insyaalah raya tahun depan kalau belum meninggal.. boleh sambut lagik..kan kan?

Saat menjelang balik kampung

2010-09-02T14:03:00.003+08:00

Esok akak balik! hahaha advance betul.. di saat bebduak skolah masih lagi kena belajar lagi satu hari, akak dah terbang balik KB, gila taknak kalah ngan bebduak ingusan yang excited balik kampung ( akak yang tua bangka ni pun taknak kalah ekekek).
Alkisahnya, akak ingat akak dah tak lewat nak book tiket balik, tetiba sebulan sebelum posa, akak check semua airlines, tarikh a few days belum raya tu dah sold out ( cam hampeh), kalau ada pun makan 3-4 ratus untuk one way trip, akak mana mampu!.. last2, browse tengok tiket paling murah adalah seminggu sebelum raya dan seminggu selepas raya.. so akak pun turut la sama menyertai kekalutan budak skolah untuk balik awal berposa kat kampung kekekek.
dedulu akak rajin jugak menumpang adik beradik yang balik kampung naik kereta, tapi sekarang, anak dorang pun post kot udara, apa kes akak nak menyelit2 nak tumpang disebalik celah2 kerepek, biskut dan beg2 dorang tu.. lagi satu, akak tak larat nak rasa kematu kat dalam kereta sebab lama sangat nak sampai.. ada 4-5 tahun sudah... akak nasib tak terkencing dalam kereta jek sebab terlalu lama menahan .. abis nak berenti, jem bumper to bumper.. tu bykan highway.. jalan kampung jek..
so resolusi semenjak 23-4 tahun keelakangan ni, balik sendiri, hari tu akak baru tingat nak beli tiket balik raya haji, dah sold out semua dah.. nak taknak akak balik pagi raya jek.. :)
4-5 hari lepas, akak melepak (tak ingat) kat KD. 5 hari tuuu.. siap ambik cuti lagi isnin tu sebab selasa kan cuti merdeka. kunun2 bawak kije nak buat sekali.. harammm tak disentuhnyaaaa.. tapi kan, ikut hati akak rasa cam nak balik rumah sendiri juga bila kebosanan menjelma.. so ptg selasa tu rasa cam legaaa jek bhila dah sampai rumah.. akak tak tunggu pun nak buka posa kat KD selasa tu.. sebab ingat nak mendobi kain baju yang ditinggalkan since jumaat.. sampai2 jek terus bawak masuk kain baju masuk washing machine... tengok2 air takderrr.... ! sakit hati betul.. ghopa2nya dorang rajin nak cuci tangki hari cuti tu.. akak expect dorang cuci time hari kerja... so pahala posa akak kurang le hari selasa tu sebab duk menyumpah2 pihak pengurusan yang amat cerdik pi cuci tangki hari cuti pas tu offkan air sampai la lepas buka posa...
cuti lama hari tu, akak sempat la buka ngan hoemmade nasik kerabu yg sangat bestt sampai tak cukup satu periuk besar... sangat sangat sedappppp.. tapi sebab panggil org datang buka, so portion org yg ambik makanan terhegeh2 ni sangat ciput sebab tak sempat nak tambah dah habis ekekeke.. padan muka ko akak...
hari sabtu lak bukak posa kat puncak alam, ok le.. tapi sebab hari tu akak dah makan kari kepala ikan, dah tak rasa nak jamah lagi.. hari ahad buka ngan spaghetti meat ball, hari isnin ngan lauk ketam.. tak koser akak nak makan. nak abiskan sekor tu pun punya la lama sampai kering nasik kat tangan kekekek
since balik rumah, akak cam takberapa lalu makan jek.. napa tah.. tengah tido sebelum bangun sahur pun asyik rasa mual... masalah tul la.. tapi bukak posa abis gak apa2 makanan hehehe..
kerja pun ada yang akak dah settle especially yang ada deadlines tu.. tetiba jek bersemangat buat kije sebab taknak ler balik nanti, kerja banyak pending... actually bila akak balik nanti mungkin akak sorang jek kot kat rumah.. len2 maybe balik lewat skit.. sorang dah berambus ke france, sorang lagi beraya kat penang.. cam tak cukup kuorum jek.. tak best rasanyaa..
mak akak pun time posa mesti tak berapa sehat... moyok jek.. akak lagi la takder mood kalau dah tengok keadaan cam tu.. adik akak sorang lagi hopefully balik sama akak esok since dia kat KT jek.. manjang tulis tak sabo nak balik kat status FB dia.. dan akak seperti biasa la mematahkan semangat dia dengan mengeruhkan keadaan kekekeke.. dah memang tu nature sorang kakak kan.. takder nya nak bagi muka kat adik2 dia kekekeke..
akak dah belikan baju kat bapak akak kat the curve last week.. sukerr.. sebab akak memang suker soping kat bapak akak ( anak sapa la mithali sangat ni ekekeke), pas tu kan nanti akak akan kira berapa kerap dia pakai baju akak beli compared to baju yg siblings akak yg lain beli... selalunya.. kalau dia kerapa pakai tu maknanya dia suka la... purata akak beli baju kak bapak akak kan.. ada lah dalam 5-6 helai setahun.. kalau ada trip ke indon mesti akak beli kan.. last trip kat jogja pun ada beli.. ( eh ni dah ada unsur2 riak ni akak)
okeh la nak pi solat dulu.. tgh pikir camna nak bawak balik biskut raya nanti.. selalunya akak pos thru abg akak jek.. tapi memandangkan hari ni baru nak ambik.. esok dah nak balik.. takder la nak berkirim2 bagai.. kalau boleh masuk semua dalam checked in luggage ok jek ( pas tu bila sampai tinggal serdak kekekek), ni nak kena p hand carry leceh la.. sebab akak tak nak feeling2 balik kampung bawak biskut raya.( ecewahh). akak cuma gheti balik kg nak raya lenggang kangkung ekekekeke...pas tu jeling jek bila satu family balik kg checked in luggage satu kontena.. no no no itu bukan akak okeyyy... kekekee.. last year lagi bagus.. akak beli set pinggan mangkuk kat pengkalan kubur untuk pakai hari2 kat umah akak, akak kirim kat adik akak suh bawak balik KL.. apa2 jek yg boleh dikirim semua akak suh kirim.. hasilnya.. akak berjalan2 kat airport tu dengan handbag jek.. tanpa luggage kekeke
since balik kg ni takder internet... so akak awal2 lagi mengucapkan selamat hari raya dan maap zahir batin... mana la tau kot tulisan akak ni ada membuatkan sapa2 tersindir ke tersentap ke.... tanpa sengaja... balik kg ni for sure kena bergaduh ngan anak buah akak si daniel gumuok tu... dia tu kalau tak buli makcik dia memang tak sah le...
bye..

Things that make me wonder...

2010-08-26T11:58:00.004+08:00

1. Ko sebuk duk bergame fb bagai lagi sedangkan tak sampai 12 jam ko akan fly ke negara orang dan menetap di sana selama beberapa tahun.. dun u have anything better to do than playing those stupid games at this moment? ok fine, kalau dah siap packing bagai, tapi u ll be leaving yr home country and the rest of yr families in here, u can always do the game online, takkan larinya game kat FB tu.. but thinking that a rational person would choose a stupid game rather than .. u know.... *sighing*.. entah le tak paham aku org cam ni.. there are lotsa beter things to do to fulfil this moment... bulan puasa plak ni.. haishhhhh...! (buat ke sekian kalinya)
2. Realizing that there r certain women who dare to risk her lives by conceiving 3 babies in 3 years by c-sect... not sure whether i need to compliment them for her bravery.. i mean kalau normal procedure ikut suka hati ko la nak conceive tiap tahun pun kan.. but... c sect every year? ko memang nak menempuh maut la tu... of course la they will get back to takdir and rezeki.. tapi kan dah nama nya kita manusia, do some extra effort with birth planning... macam org miskin gak.. ko nak salahkan takdir sebab ko miskin? abis kalau ko tak usaha macamana Allah nak permudahkannya... ( kan akak quote hadith kan.. kekekek)
hello dey...some people think medical advices ni are bull shit... cam ada la satu pakcik yang akak kenal tu... dia cakap kalau wat med check up kat hospital of course macam2 la penyakit yang di diagnosa, end up stress tu yang buat lagi sakit... I totally disagree with this theory.. abis ko lagi suka la ek die in a sudden, as u wont have to take any medication for the diagnosed ailments.. biarlah rahsia gitu... tup tup kejung kat mana-mana.. biarlah.. dah ajalnya... kan?
Precaution... ko paham tak apa maknanya tuuu ?

ok la enuff about it... akak plak emo tengahari buta ni... some ppl think they r not selfish as all the actions they they took would be defined as their sacrifices to the loved ones... tapi bagi ahkak kan.. i have to be selfish for my own good... if it considers my body... tapi akak taktau la org lain kan... kunun berkorban apa saja.. harta atau pun nyawa... ko ingat laki ko akan stay single once u r dead? ntah ntah kubur masih merah , laki dah cari org lain.. kununnya nak kena jaga anak2 kecik yang beceretek arek tu...
Peviously, my sister mentioned in her fb regarding her junior MO yang passed away due to the birth complications.. most of her friend doctors siap komen kat status , more likely kutuk sebab this poor lady had a frequent pregnancy previously..
I have no idea why our moms boleh jek conceive every year,, tapi ko tengok la cara pantanga dia org lepas bersalin.. tip top... if they were to conceive the next year, the uterus dah totally healed... tu pun its not recommendable kan... compared to the modern ladies nowadays, jauh panggang dr api la... kan
( i dun know why i m still perturbed with this issue, I had my sister telling me regarding the similar case of her patient).. of course ahkak memang tak layak untuk mengkritik cos i dun have any tiny experinece regarding this... but i have LOTSA experiences ergarding other ailments.. U name it.. I am like a box full with lotsa diagnosed diseases... semua akak rembat hahahah..
Ok lah... tetiba emo di siang hari apasal kak? kekekee.. some people cant take any critics i guess.. somehow those critics would actually make u wonder abt yr life in person... kita takkan nampak apa kekurangan dan kelebihan kita sendiri unless ada org yg habaqkan kat kita honestly kan? I for instance somehow have been denying that i have this reporter insntinct in me.. my siblings used to call me that when i was a kid.. gara2 nak spread first hand info kat my father, akak boleh tergelincir atas titi dan terus terhumban dalama patrit yang penuh minyak hahahaa... tu pun tak insaf2 lagi... of lates jek, i have tried to reduce this so called attitude in me... tried to seal my mouth whenever i obtained some info from the rest of the family.. at times, it can be a good deed for conveying it,, but wat if the info was supposed to be a confidential.. ? tapi si reporter ni tak gheti2 nak tutup mulut?
sama la juga cam org yg suka membuat fitnah, ko ingat dia suka ke kalau org lain nasihat dia.. still cakap yang dia tu baik sebab bukak kain dalam org lain kan?

... Ok lah... nak tido sat... resolusi bulan ramadhan ni cam tak berapa menjadik jek.. cakap tak nak marah2.. tapi kalau ko marah tak melibatkan org lain tak pe kot..... marah sorang2 ngomel sorang2... hihihi

updating..

2010-08-21T15:46:00.003+08:00

jari sangat pijar, taktau kenapa.. agaknya sebab tadi duk pegang cili api nak blend.. ataupun sebab akak kuoas bawang putih dalam gelap.. entah entah dah tersagat jari sendiri..
dah 2-3 hari tak puasa.. frust la juga sebab tengah berkobar kununnya nak menkhatamkan quran yang dah terbengkalai sejak tahun lepas.. ingatkan dah ambik jab ni, selang sebulan la ke dia 'datang' tapi ambik jab ke idok, regular jek.. dah le tu, selalunya 15 hari baru ok... (motif nak elaborate ni pehal kak?)
Anyway, anak buah akak yang kat SSP tu ada kat rumah this weekend.. kalau akak la sementelah tak puasa ni, ala kadar jek la makan.. tapi since dah tetamu ada, terpaksa la ke param.. ( bukan terpaksa masak kakaka).. semalam te5jadi la satu kekecohan sebab org yg nak pick up niece akak kat ktm serdang tu, tak berapa nak kenal muka niece akak tu.. so saling tunggu menunggu, akak pulak jadik perantara.. niece akak tu pulak takder hp, rely on public phone, dah le public phone byk yang rosak.. dekat 1/2 jam la jugak baru ketemu..
pas ambik akak kitaorg ke param depan rumah..tayau la apa nak makan, beli nasik kerabu for the 2nd time pas tu beli onde2 , 8 ketui 2 ringgit .. ish ish ish.. nasi kerabu pun takder la sedap mana.. cam tak cukup syarat tapi boolehh la..
kul 4.30 pagi, kejutkan niece, panaskan nasik dan lauk dia nak makan pas tu akak pun turut sama tak tido sampai la dah dekat nak masuk subuh... mithali sungguh la mak sedara ni kan kekekeke
petang ni mungkin ke param.. kalau budak skolah tu cakap nak pegi tapi akak cadang nak masak mihun goreng , tadi tgh kupas bawang la yang tersagat jari tu...
esok, ada bukak puasa kat KD, sempena nak meraikan abg ke 2 akak yang dah nak 'blah' ke marseilles jumaat depan.. (selamat duit raya akak untuk anak2 dia tahun ni hahaha). so kitorang the rest of the clan pakat2 sponsor bukak posa utk dia satu famili.. abangnda yang sulung dah delegate sapa kena bawak kuih apa.. byk cantikkann.. hahaha.. abis yang diraikan tu seperti biasa la main lenggang kangkung jek la kot datang kekekeke.. ( motip kutok abang sendiri kan)
so.. itu lah dia.. dah tak berposa ni.. cam tak best jekkk.. harap2 takder la lama 'cuti'.. tahun lepas akak cuti satu hari jek tu pun sebab akak kena posa utk xray.. so akak tak dapat sahur.. tak sahur maknanya tak makan ubat.. so pas xray akak buka jek la :)
dah pukul 4.. jap lagi kalau rajin ke param yang ntah hapa-hapa tu.. round 2-3 kali pun cam tak der menda yg rasa nak makan...

yesterday's emotion

2010-08-17T14:09:00.002+08:00

I was so disappointed yesterday, that i wept silently while cooking . remember how i longed for the nasik kerabu in my yesterday's post? Someone did buy it for me, along with all the tempting kelantanese kuih muih, ie lompat tikam and tepung pelita. I was so happy on the way back home yesterday, ala-ala my dream has come true.
Tapi...
panas tidak sampai ke petang...
Rite after i cleaned myself, i unwrapped all the purchased food, and looks like someone has MISINTERPRETED my request.
I was asking for NASI KERABU, not the NASI DAGANG...
so there went my resolution of going to be extra patience during the fasting month.. Tried not to get angry at anyone.. but... yes, I was babbling to myself in between.. cant help vented out my frustration via 2 sms-es to that person (yang tukang beli)..
in the meantime, I defroze the fish, planned to fry it and cooked the rice, the nasik dagang will go straight into the thrash bin... ( see, kunun nak insaf... takder maknanyaa)..
I have no idea why i went a bit berserk + emotional.. ala2 cam orang mengidam la plak...
but then, after 30 minutes, i have calmed down.. i m breaking my iftar with nasik panas and ikan goreng jek + ulam timun jek la...
Not knowing that someone took a real effort to go back to the place where he bought the food ( in the middle of the heavy rain) and came back to my place just to give me a pack of nasi kerabu (yang dah tak cukup syarat)..
Am not sure whether i should thank that person of it (due to his kasih sayang yang melimpah ruah hahah) or he cant stand my cruel sms-es that have been sent to him earlier. I wasn't that cruel la.. besides there 'd be another day..( never felt apreciated tho, if that was the reason )
Anyway.. the nasi kerabu is under-rated... so i guess the same goes to the untouched nasi dagang.. and all the kuih muih, i only managed to take a spoonful, which gave me the bitter taste ( gilo, lompat tikam rasa sangat pahit), and it cant even be covered with the sugarless air nisan.. similar case with the tepung pelita.. i think they added bucket of water to the diluted santan.. which doesnt give any creamy taste of the santan... which have made me so so so.... frustrated that I vowed i m not gonna buy anymore food from the param tis year... and if i ever did, it shud be from the same established stall that i bought it in SS... ( makan nasik ngan ikan goreng lagik best babe!!)
Dont have the heart to curse them. I bet lotsa customer have already done tat...
On another note.... I finished my follow up at rheumy clinic very early today. yeay!.. accoding to my blood test, everything is under control.. my sugar level is ok, my cholestrol level is going down.. and i feel so happy... (cant afford to get stressful during fasting month aye?)
Got another O&G follow up next week, time for another jab :)..

p.S still cant believe i got so emotional over an unworthy pack of bland nasik kerabu yesterday.. haishhh

and still...

2010-08-16T13:13:00.003+08:00

day 6..
Bukan kira berapa hari posa.. tapi.. berapa hari duk mendetoksifikasikn badan ni...
Dah 5 hari.. keluar masuk toilet.. penat wooo.. ada kalanya tak kerap sangat..adakalanya ( cam hari ni) hishh... toliet bowl pun dah bosan kot nengok akak bertenggek atas dia hahahah
since esok nak kena pi rheumy klinik... haruslah stop untuk sehari.. tak koser nak berulang pi tandas spital.. kat opis ngan rumah boleh la.. bersih..
dah dah 5 hari, akak berjaya tidak pergi kemana-mana pasar ramadhan.. masak sendiri.. takder la grand sangat, tambah2 duk sorang lagi la... buka posa makan kuih jek.. semalam teringin nak makan popia, buat la barang 20 ketul, goreng 5 ketul pas tu minum air teh secawan.. itu je la juadah buka puasa.. semenjak ambik supplemen detoks , rasa kenyang jek.. tapi sahur harus gak la makan carbs.. so sahur makan leftover spaghetti tuna yang digoreng di ptg sabtu.. letak brocolli dan cendawan banyak2.. ( yang menyumbang kepada kekerapan masuk tandas juga la tu)
petang ni, since kelas abis kul 6, rasanya terpaksa la juga beli (wahh terpaksa tu).. dedulu, 2 tahun lepas ingat lagi, asyik tulis dalam blog , hari2 kena jamah nasik kerabu.. dulu boleh la param depan rumah.. pas tu org yg jual tu memang yg jual hari2 bukan bidan terjun bulan poser jek..
akak bulan pose memang allergi dengan masakan bersantan.. napa tah.. so dalam hati cuma ada kuah yang jernih jek cam tomyam ke, sup ka, masak bening ke.. ayam cuma boleh makan ayam goreng jek.. (ayam percik pun ok )tapi yang lain meman g hanya akan menjadi santapan mata sahaja... senang nak bela akak ni :).. tak der nak perabiskan duit pun hahahha
duk sorang ni,, nak buat kuih pun malas,,, nak buat banyak bagi kat jiran? ermmm jiran pun akak tak kenal tau... yg depan rumah.. pasangan tanpa anak.. kalau terserempak keluar rumah sekali,, laju2 jek dia blah masuk lif cam taknak berdepan jek... org sebelah pun dah bertukar ganti... bila akak kuar menyapu, kalau kebetulan dorang ada kat luar, cepat2 masuk... ishh terasa sungguh akak.. cuma yang kat hujung tu jek.. yang dah beranak pinak... kalau jumpa jek senyum.. tapi itu la akak ni kadang2 jumpa sekali dua lum cam.. kalau org senyum esp lelaki.. antara dua.. nak senyum ke tak.. mana tau akak yang perasan ke ...
Rasanya tak der bezanya ramadhan atau tak... cuma amal ibadah jek yang rasa lebih skit bila bulan posa.. yang lain tu.. macam nak makan ke apa.. sama jek sbb bukan bulan posa pun ramai jugak yang tak makan beriya...
rasanya hidup sebatang kara ni cam tu lah.. bulan posa cuma meriah bagi yang hidup berkeluarga.. tanya la manusia ke jin afrit mana pun... akak kalau nak rasa meriah, pegi la lepak rumah abang yang penuh dengan anak buah.. tapi tu la.. yg dah besar pun buat kije sendiri2... manjang duk atas main playstation la.. bukak internet la... layanyang kecik jek la... *sebak*
Semua orang ada kehidupan masing2, macam akak pun.. dah lama berseorangan ni, bunyi2 bising jek rasa nak marah orang... nak ketenangan la kunun.. sekali sekala boleh la jumpa kawan.. tapi kalau dah selalu.. apa ke pekdahnya.. waima.. kawan baik pun semua dah berkeluarga... yang tak berkeluarga.. tak boleh masuk dia org punya peel lak...
kalau zaman dulu, umur cam akak ni dah ada cucu tau ( ewahh motif nak cucu hahaha), hari tu ada sorang budak kecik dalam umur 3-4 tahun masuk lif ngan mak dia.. makdia duk panggil akak ni "nenek' bila bahsakan kat anak dia.. ishh sentap disitu akak.... hahahaha.. tapi pk2 betul la.. kalau akak ada anak masa umo 17 tahn, anak sulung dah 25, mesti dah berkawin bagai ada anak der kan... so tak jadi la sentap, tapi jegil2 manja jek kat mak dia hahaha.. nak sedapkan hati.. ok la ok la akak jadi nenek vogue jek la heheheh
Frankly speaking, akak tak kesal pun kalau dah ditakdirkan takder jodoh sampai ke akhir hayat.. Itu dah bahagian akak dari Nya.. Ada la sebab musabab nya TUhan dah takdirkan cam tu.. Akak redha sebenarnya ( waahhh siri meluah perasaan la pulak)..
Tapi kan, akak rasa mungkin masa dalam kandungan dulu masa Tuhan bagi pilihan kat akak, kau nak Phd ke kau nak kawin dan ada anak, dan akak yang materialistik ini pun memilih nak ada Phd sebab kalau ada Phd dapat banyak duit, dan kalau ada duit banyak, ada kau kesah ko ada anak ke laki? so akak pun memilih pilihan yang kurang tepat hahah ( astaghafirullah, akak joke jek ni tau)
tapi kan, akak selalu terfikir.. in a way musahabah, kalau akak ni tak sakit sejak kecik, mungkin bila besar, akak akan jadi liar dan bebas dan jahat mengalahkan jin afrit, kalau akak ni punya suami dan anak, mungkin akak tak boleh menjaga rumahtangga akak dengan baik, end up dengan cerai berai dan sebagainya.. so konklusinya,, segala yang berlaku itu mesti ada hikmahnyaaa.. kalau dah kita berusaha tapi Allah tetap tunjukkan yang itulah pengakhiran hidup kita... akak pasrah.. sebab DIA tahu, akak bleh menerima dan menempuh segala dugaan dan cabaran serta ujian yang diberikan.. ( wahhh adakah akak mengangkat bakul sendiri?)..
Ilmu akhirat takder la sebanyak mana, seriously masa akak kecik dulu biasa la budak kecik), bla sakit jek akak nangis, tanya kenapa lah DIA beri ujian yang berat ini pada akak yang masih kecik ni , tapi bila dah meningkat dewasa dan 'menua" akak bolehjek terima apa jua dugaan tanpa bersungut atau merungut. kadang2 persekitaran tersebut boleh menginsafkan kita sebenarnya.. baca blog minah loaded yang berbapakan tansri, rasa macam.. wahh bestnya diaaa... semua yang dia nak dia dapat.. tapi bila baca blog yang meruntun jiwa, macam ibu yang ada anak bermasalah ke.. terasa betapa bertuahnya kita... bila baca berita bayi dibuang.. terfikir, macamana la ibu dia tu menghadapinya berseorangan... dengan masalah maha besar.. pas tu mengambil keputusan melulu...dan otomatik terus mensyukuri diri kerana diberi akal yang rasional sepanjang 42 tahun hidup di dunia ini... Banyak benda sebenarnya yang kita boleh fikir-fikirkann dan mensyukuri nikmat yang Tuhan bagi...
.. dan bulan puasa ini jugalah yang membuatkan akak berfikir sejenak.. tanpa perlu memikirkan.. apasal la aku lapar sangat ni,, nak makan pun takder apa.. sebab banyak masa yang kita boleh peruntukkan di bulan puasa ni untuk memperbaiki diri.. bukan hanya dibulan puasa tapi untuk bulan2 seterusnya...
Akak insaf.... ( harapnya untuk selama-lamanya la ).. ni idok, esok manjang duk komplen marah tak leh bukak botol sos cili, la tak leh capai hanger kat kabinet atas la.. (itu bukan marah, itu keciwa sebenarnya) hahahaha

Ok lah... memulas untuk kesekian kalinya...

Detoxifying month of Ramadhan

2010-08-11T13:01:00.003+08:00

Not in the mood to update the blog, as I have lost it while marking the students' ethno paper. Senatp hokeyyy. Akak merasa sedikit sakit jiwa juga sedikit kuciwa dengan prestasi pelajar akak yang sangat kelaut... dorang ni paham apa tak yg akak ajar ke jenis main spot soalan.. so soalan yang masuk totally outta their league..
Sunnguh akak kuciwa.. so marking amat mengambil masa.. walaupun hanya 22 ketui sahaja yang ambik paper ni... kata paper elektif... Soalan part akak memamng ko setakat ni.. so ada lagi 2 soalan daripada topik lecturer lain..
Sesungguhnya emosional di hari pertama ramadhan adalah amat tidakk sesuai yer....
Sementelah waktu kerja di bulan ramadhan ini dipercepatkan setengah jam, (tapi akak kul 6.30 pagi dah terpacak dalam bilik), haruslah akak balik awal sikit petang ini untuk mengubati hati yang lara.. ( motif?)
Dan seperti kebanyakan blogger lain yang memperihalkan kisah sahur di hari pertama, maka akak juga adalah tidak ketinggalan untuk berkonngsi cerita (ewah!).. Cuma cerita sahur akak tidaklah berapa meriah kerana akak hanyalah bersahur berseorangan sahaja diiringi dengan jeritan anak2 pak iran di luar bangunan. Disebabkan akak telah berazam untuk men-detoksikan diri di bulan ramadhan ini, maka akak telah mengambil minuman ( yang kununnya mampu mendektoksikan) yang menyebabkan perut akak memulas mulas sahaja sejak dari pukul 10 pagi tadi.
Owh , lupa pula,, sahur akak adalah berupa tomyam (paling sedap kat Sri Lavnder, Kajang) dan juga paling pedas yang amat. Akak masak satu periuk besar ( sebab tak gheti nak ration untuk sorang ni).. dan haruslah akak mengulangi makan tomyam tersebut sehinggahabis licin satu periuk. Paling cepat lagi 2 kali buka puasa dan 2 kali sahur.
Buka puasa nanti, akak akan mendetoksikan diri lagi sekali sebelummenjamah apa sahaja makanan yang berada di dalam fridge. Adakah kesan minum detoks itu menyebabkan akak terasa tidak terliur langsung dari membayangkan makanan2 enak di tghari ini? hmmm mungkin juga.. sbb akak rasa masih kenyang walaupun dah 2-3 kali berulang alik ke tandas. Owhh... hati akak sudah mula berbunga kerana sekiranya rutin ini boleh diteruskan sepanjang bulan ramadhan , harus la akak berjaya mencapai saiz model of the year nanti.. hahahah ( ok, tak kelakar)
harus mintak diri dulu kerana perut akak kembali memulas2.. (owhh btw, minuman tadi mengandungi ekstrak nenas di samping pelbagai ekstrak tumbuhan yang menampilkan kaler yang sungguh tak menarik iaitu kaler hijau.. tapi rasanya sedap dan everytime akak sendawa, akak rasa nenas... hihihi)

permisi ke tandas dulu!

Ramadhan's coming..

2010-08-10T13:33:00.004+08:00

As usual, when i am so worn out with works i ll take a secret little break by updating my blog in lightning speed ( hopefully).. I m about to finish a 2-3 pages of thesis report. I have other 2 queuing up for the "GOD-knows when the vivas are' and another 1 is adding up. Managed to finish reading the thesis in a record time, yes i spend a whole morning reading it yesterday, as I had an afternoon class afterwards. This morning, took a peek on its discussion and ran to a meeting which took place the whole morning. I am now trying to write a report based on the thesis content, have marked many pages of it, and silly me, i forgot to bookmark which pages so now i have to flip over the pages in order to mention the corrections that she has to make in the report.
Then, i think i need a break.. ok a short break.. to be precise a 5 mins break..
Eh lupa.. the fasting month will begin tomorrow.. I should be extra excited... and less sleepy... as I tend to go to be dearly so that I can wake up early for sahur and coming straight to work rite after subuh prayer... ok i lied.. i tend to get sleepy again while waiting for him to pick me up in the early morning. On 2nd tot.. i wont if i managed to find myself a suitable tv series that i might watch it with interest during those early hours...
I have one.. Its in KBS world channel.. they have tis one programme called "Screening humanity' which it actually a reality show on all sorta people in Korea.. This week, they are featuring a stay at home korean dad who take full care of his 10 months old son..Owh,, and last week, they featured a group of elderly women who lead independent livesamongst themselves.. I wept during one of the stories.. ( actually i wept in each of the stories.. heheh).This programme is on air every monday to friday at 6.48-7.28 am. see how god i am with the time? heheheh
On another story, mom called me last nite, informing me that she has collected all 4 pasang of my baju raya.. I asked her of the colors of those baju raya (i have the same problem of going back for raya with the mismatched tudung every year, and ended up with my sister's tudung). So this year, I m pretty sure i have the matching tudung to go with my simplest (motif?) baju kurung raya... lol
Can i talk a bit about my weekend? before the time's up... (cett!)
had a visit to SMC , maybe i havent blogged about this yet.. my 20 yrs old niece has undergone a surgery to remove a cyst and a fibroid (which has been ruptured into 3)on friday. Dunno wat happen these days, too many youngsters and teenagers suffer from the gynae problem. She( the niece) wont be diagnosed if she did not go for a thorough medical check up for her overseas admission priorly. She did not feel any pain, and the only things that they found out in prior was her BP which was a bit high for a 20 yrs old female . That led to a thorough check up, and since one of the aunties is a gynaecologist, she managed to find abdominal masses via the CTscan. And now, the bp is finally back to normal.. my elder sis flew back from kelantan since thursday and now going back with her daughter this evening. Hope, she will have a speeedy recovery. She was supposed to register in UQ last month, yet due to her failed medical check up and now this, she might be able to start her study latest after raya.... hopefully.. (now i have one more place to go for another overseas trip *grinning*)
My brother and his family will be flying to Marseilles at the end of this month. he will be working there for 2 years, bringing his whole family together. Now they are so free, as the niece and the nephew have quit school since last month and along with the mom, they are engrossedly knocking their heads off over FB games..*eyes rolling off*.. and owh Marseilles.. here i come next year lol!
owh.. its more than a 10 mins break.. and before i end up my entry, I m gonna wish my readers ( i know there is one or two) a happy ramadhan.. and another mundane picca from the last Kyoto trip lol.. me and the rest of the gang infront'f the Golden temple... don't know why , but I feel so serene everytime i look at this picca.. must be the surrounding.. i guess..

drooling over the kelantan delights during ramadhan

2010-08-06T14:29:00.005+08:00

Hari Jumaat yang sangat mengeringkan tekak. Dah puas akak menggagau cari ayaq minum, nak turun koop beli mineral water malas, kat dalam pantry, bekalan air dah abis.. so puasla akak menelan air liur (eeeww) tapi tetap tak hilang hausnyaa.. tapi kunyah biskut mayat for lunch tanpa air... rasa cam unta la plak...
anywayyyy... untuk menghilangkan ngantuk, akak berblog(bley?), since nak minum kopi hang tuah.. ayaq panaih takdakkk...
Ada satu thesis nak kena baca dan satu paper nak kena write up. Gigih write paper sebab nak cukupkan quota hikhikhik. owhh insentif last year publication pun lum dapat.. so tahun ni berazam untuk publish kat impact factor journals la plak...
Akak ada satu lecture jek weekly sekarang.. lepas raya ada balik lectures untuk subject lain.. so skrg takder la bz sangat nak prepare lecture.. boleh la membuat kegiatan sampingan yang bermenafaat ..
Semalam lunch kat Mohd Chan dengan adik akak dan colleaguenya.. they all dtg untuk meeting department yang setahun sekali pun tak penah attend tu hikhik ( motif kutok adik sendiri).. Anyway, most of the siblings balik kg this weekend membuatkan kejelasan akak melampau-lampau... takpe.. tak sampai sebulan lagi, akak akan balik untuk beraya... ( ewahh posa pun lum dah berangan nak balik raya)..
bese la abg akak itu, nak masuk bulan posa, wajeeebul balik kg untuk membeli serbo mok-niko kuih2 kelantan untuk dibawak bekal berbuka posa di KL. Akak pun cam tu sebenonya, bulan posa teringin la nak makan kuih2 kelantan yang sangat menarik tu.. esp sagumpal.. lapis sekaya, akok, buah mulong, nekbat,tepung pelita, colek ayam wahhhh meleleh airliur akak dissat menaipnya.. sorry karipap org kelantan tak makan yer.. tak der langsung nilai2 estetika karipap di bulan posa...
dan dibulan posa juga la akak akan mengidam segala jenis kerabu, nasik kerabu, ayam percik,solok ikan dan segala lauk2 kelantan.. tapi sorrii.. kat pasar ramadhan tu sangatlah taksedapnyaa dan sgt la mahalnta hapa2.. rasa pun tak sama ngan kat Kelantan punya.. so dibulan posa ini akak hanya boleh menaruh kepercayaan kepada restoran sup UK kat sek7 sahaj yang berupaya untuk mengembalikan nostalgia indah berbuka kat kelantan.. ( tak la sepenuhnya tapi ok la dari ngko menyumpah seranah sipenjual lauk yang tk berdosa di pasar ramadhan itu)..
Takpasal rasa lapar plak duk menyenaraikan lauk2 kegemaran nih.. ishhhh
owhh nak balik nak balik.. kalau kat rumah.. lauk singgang daging pun dah sangat sedappp masa buka posa...mak aihh ngidam singgang daging la plakkk...

Pathetic Tuesday..

2010-08-04T08:08:00.003+08:00

I was in such a pathetic state yesterday ( waaa.. trust me when it comes to seeking sympathy).. alkisahnya.. i planned to fast yesterday.. and while cleaning and mopping a corner of the room ( as they were going to install the wardrobe and the book shelf in those corner the next day), I accidentally shifted my body in an awkward way ( kununnya nak bersihkan debu kat bawah katil). later on i felt the sharp pain on my left waist, ironically, I ve just gone for a follow up in the urology clinic in the morning, and they found out that there're another 2 tiny stones remain in the kidney, at the lower bottom, after my post-eslw last month. when the dr asked me whether i had any pain lately, i brushed off his question while boastfully answerd that " i m good nowaadays, dr".. and on that very nite, those sharp pain haunted me back.. padan muka aku..
I did swallow a mild pain killer before i went to bed ( thinking that the pain will go away later on ). But it did not. I managed to call for help, at 5 am. and that was because, I did not think i d be able to stand the pain anymore.. it throbbed every 5 minutes which made me felt like i was in labour pain ( ok, i lied,, never knew how'd it feel).. The rescue came 5 mins to 6, and we rushed to emergency Hospital Serdang. After getting a jab, I was half ok already. It was already half past 7 when we left the hospital, and i ve decided to take a medical leave for a day. Since I was at home, the plan still went on and they came around 11 to install the items. It was quite noisy with all those drilling watsoever, and i was like a zombie trying to stay awake infront'f the tv. It would be so appropriate if i had just lied infront of the tv like always, so I decided to lie down in the rom ( minus the noises in the next room). They still havent finish installing those stuffs at 4 pm, and i was a bit shaky already, due to the lower glucose level. Switched on the tv again, while feeling sorry to myself ( motif?). They did a good job tho, tho the floor ne3ed to be mopped when they left. Had the leftover of nasi beriyani, from the sunday's khenduri ( it was supposed to be my sahur actually)..Still had those pain on and off, and they only gave me ponstan for oral painkiller. and this morning, i had my sahur with the leftover nasi beritani and ayam masakl merah again ( for the 3rd time duhh), and came early for work. Feeling good today tho, despite the yesterday's unfortunate event..
taaa..
P.s no pic today. enuff of kyoto's piccas..

Coffee orgasm :)

2010-07-29T13:33:00.003+08:00

Tajuk tak boleh blah keh keh keh:)
Oh yeah.. this is bliss.. while sipping a mug of hot coffee ( unfortunately its not kopi aik cheong, my fav, but hang tuah is as good as the former brand).. and sorry to all the starbuck lover or coffee bean ke apo as I am not their fans.. which is kopi yang mahal nak mampuih.. but the pleasure of drinking it is as good as @ even less than drinking the kopi kampung.. ( please check the calories of those branded ones..boleh terus ambik insulin pas tu hahahaha.
Anyway, i had a pleasant morning today.. not to mention i spent half of the morning chit-chatting with the etika agent whom happened to be the brother of actor jehan miskin ( no we did not gossip about the entertainment world, more likely into complaining of my iranian neighbours whom have conquered those 3 blocks of the apartment..
I had lunch with an istant mee in a cup, :) ever since we had our water dispenser refunctions in the so called pantry, i ve been going to and fro, thinking of wat sorta meal that Im gonna have next. Instant beverages are also been provided, and the only thing that they forgot to put in is either nasik lemak or mee hoon for instant breakfast. well its not that 'happening' now, it will even become quieter once the fasting month starts, yet now i dun have to worry to look for a glass of hot@ cold water like before. Its just a few steps away from yrs truly's coccoon:)
..... let me again enjoy another sip before the coffee's getting cold hehehehe..

The parent is coming this afternoon, I m not sure whether they will be picked by the 'ignorant brother' or the 'concern sister' hahaha. See.. i have names for each of my siblings.. Another 'totful sister' the one with the 'tantrum son' will be joining us tomorrow. And yes, she left the maid behind and will only be accompanied by her 'middle child syndrome' son lol..
The ignorant brother will be having sorta hse-warming on saturday nite, I m thinking of going to the idolised bro's house first so that i can tag along with the family later on.. eh wait a sec.. i think i ve narrated all of these in the prev entry.. rite.. cet..

almost 2, hope that this cofee wil make me awake till 5. need to look bz till then..

and. another kyoto pic.. ( as this is the only pic folder in tis pc)

us infront of the palace which was the previos location for The Last Samurai movie..:) never had neither the courage nor the strength to climb all those flight of stairs, ended up with us grinning infront of the place, as we did not have enough time to go to all the historical places.. Last stop was the tempura restaurant and i had another orgasm meal there... hahahaha

A yg meruntun jiwaaaaaaaaaa

2010-07-27T13:00:00.005+08:00

lunch time, tapi hari ni akak posa (harapnya sampai ke petang.. amin)
alkisahnya semalaaaaam air tumpah ( air kotak) kat atas keyboard ni, so hari ni huruf 'A" adalah stuck, dan akak terpaksaa menggunakan segenap tenagaa akak untuk menekan keypad a itu. See kalau tekan haruslah byk aaaaaaaaa yang akaaaaan keluar.. TENSENNN! Tengok!

Takder benda nak update sebab penat nak menekan hurup A ini, try nak cungkil tadi taaaaaaaapi cam tak boleh.. ishhhh

Anyway, akak sekadar blog hopping dan membaca manaaaaaaa- manaaaaaaaaa blog yg boleh dibaaaaaaaaaaaaaca... hah

Tahap kronik dah ni...
anyway terimalah....

akak di tengah sebatang jalan di kyoto, konon2nya misi mencari geiko.. jumpa sorang tapi lari lintang pukang bila nmpak kita org... owh terasa feeling2 ala sakura kat sini, tu sebelah adalah tokong diaa apa tah, sgt sunyi walau pun masa tu tghari.. ini adaaaaaaaalah perkampungan geiko.. atau pun trainee geisha.. so bese la kan.. geiko kalu siang dia tido, malam baru beroperasi keh keh keh ( motif diakhiri dengan keh keh keh?)

okeh, akak nak jadi mcgyver jap.. nak repair keypad A nih

se-entri sekeping gambar

2010-07-25T20:36:00.004+08:00

seorang makcik tembum with a picturesque scenery as the background, Lupa dah nama waterfall tu, tapi ianya adalah sangattt cantik, dan akak terpaksa turun natural marble stairs dengan railing kayunya untuk sampai ke sini.. tapi tetap la gigih nak turun jugak... nasib baik ada 2 PA membantu, sebab nak turun adalah sangat licin... my other frends siap ambik picas bawah waterfall tu lagik.. ni yang anak dia jek,, ada lagik yang beso... yang akak rasa cam ala2 nak posing 7 puteri kayangan.. tapi ( sedo diri muka tembum hasil lantakan kebab dan pelbagai turkish mealselama beberapa hari..pas tu bawak knapsack yang berat jugak la sampai tetarik baju akak.. gilo...kan) surprisingly kedai jual souvenirs kat waterfall ni lagik murah drpd bazaar yang hidup2 tipu kitorang masa kat antalya tuh.. ingatkan sini lagik mahal... ces ces )
I m gonna update with a lightning speed... bley?
Akak baru perasan, asal jek weeeknd, berat akak macam mencanak sedikit and then goes back to normal on weekdays...(yes, akak sekarang cam weight conscious jek.. nape tah)
pas tu, akak kan.. tengah2 baca thesis students, pas tu pegilap sliding door.. pas tu dalam 10 minit lagi... pegi basuh balkoni.. suka suki jek take a break nak buat spontaneous hse chores.. is it good or bad? ( or sekadar indicate yang akak ni bukan jenis yang organised)
Of lates, akak sangat suka tido awal.. asal jek terlelap kat sofa tu.. terus akak off tv pegi kroh2 dalam bilik.. malam sabtu hari tu, boleh tak, akak masuk tido kul 7.20.. ( walaupun dah boleh my mom will be calling malam tu , wahh tak sengke akak ada ESP:))
dan seperti yang dijangka.. akak dengar deringan telepon dalam kul 8 lebih gitu.. ingat malas jek nak angkat.. tapi akak taknak la plak mak akak stak wasangka, ingat anak dia pi clubbing ke jadi kutu berembun kat mana2 ke... ( padahal anak dia dah terbongkang tido, siap mimpi2 lagik).. so akak call dia balik... cakap lebih kurang.. boleh sambung tido tanpa sebarang masalahh... ( does it indicate i m such a 'pentido' yang berjaya? hahahaa)
tapi kan akak memang perasan kalau siangnya akak stress baca draf thesis budak2 amalatnya awal la akak lelap malam tu.. penat woo otak baca hasil ilmiah ni esp hasil ilmiah yang kelauttttt...
owh tak lupa jugak... mimpi akak cam meleret2 ntah mana2 pi kalau dah tido lebih 8 jam tu... hari tu akak mimpi handbag akak kena ragut.. gila boleh fikir dalam mimpi tu... kad atm tu dorang bleh pakai ke sbb akak cuma boleh report kehilangan kad atm tu keesokan paginya jek.. pas tu dalam mimpi tu boleh akak pk, eh.. kan aklau kita buat transfer dalam internet.. kan dia akan acknowlede samada kita ke yg buat transaction tersebut thru their sms to them.. so akak gumbira.. pas tu ehh tetiba terpk tu, applicable to credit card jek.. bukan atm card.. boleh lak tersedar mimpi pegi kencing.. pas tu gi check handbag ada ke tak atas meja.... hahahaha ( does it indicate that I have a REM stage of my sleep?)
owh lagi satu.. akak jugak astyik mimpi kawan2 masa skolah dulu... masa za,an primary school dulu... eh tapi kan.. byk kali jugak.. bila akak mimpi that partuclar person, nanti lagi 2-3 hari akak akan jumpa dia dalam face book... ( sekali lagi, adalah akak mempunyai ESP?)
Akak jugak baru prasan, kalau weekend, barnyak betul akak consume caffeine intake.. sekejap kopi, sekejap teh... bagus sangat la tu.. trigger akak punya batu karang lagi kan...
owh I hasd another eslw last month. as I had another attack in april, aweek before i flew to turkey.. so during tat period, akak posa kopi.. tengok jek la org minum kopi masa kat antalya.. pas tu ada this one day, akak made myself a cup of mint tea, tetiba jek akak rasa it soon gonna be anthr attack occur.. terus naik bilik... ambik painkiller.. tapi sementara nak tunggu drug took effect, sempat la jugak akak muntah seraun dua, sambil menggigil tahan sakit.. the pain went off adter a few hours...
so when i went for an appt after 6 months of having my 1st eslw, I had my ultra sound prior to the appt, so the registrar cakap.. ada lagi one stone kat my left kidney.. terus akak suh dia buat another procedure... tapi tis time gilerr sakit... sbb dia masoh in the kidney, last time it was already in the urethra...the dr cakap i can only do the same procedure 3x.. hopefully all of the stones dah selamat keluar.... tapi tu le,, akak ni degil, bila tak sakit minum balik nescafe... bencikkkk
so there's the end of my ranbdom rambling yang takder hala tuju itu.. I m gonna iron my baju for tomorrow. owh by the way, my parent is coming this weekend, my 2nd brother kununnya nak was 'naik rumah'.on saturday nite.. and then ada kenduri my parent's besan ( my sis's SIL) on sunday..) waaaaa ala2 ala bz la akak this weekend ye...
owh.. and there's another random pic in tis entry..
P.S cant wait to go to work tomorrow.. (harusla motivate diri sedniri kan... apart of kena sambung baca hasil ilimiah my student yang sangattt ke laut tu.... another probability that I m gonna have an early nite again tomorrow.. heheheheh)

Pukul 2 pagi...

2010-07-23T09:13:00.005+08:00

Di Jogja , may hari tu.. ni gigih mendaki candi borobudur semata2 nak ambik gambar.. ikut hati tak larat tapi sebab dah sampai, naik la jugak walaupun slow kalahkan kura-kura... tu pun posing kat tanah jek.. tak koser akak nak naik sampai ke puncak AF sana.. keliling candi ambik gambar barang dua 40 keping pas tu turun ... on the way turun dikerumuni oleh penjaja yang mengekor sampai 1 km suruh beli barang jualan dorang ... ikut hati kalau kaki akak panjang la.. akak terajang jek ( ewahh ada hati tu), tak koser den nak beli tshirt yang ada gambar candi hindu... tau!

Morninggg.. *while yawning*...
i ve been up since 2 am this morning. Gila tersakit perut di pagi buta.. puas akak pejam mata buat derk.. tapi takleh jugak tahan.. last2 terpaksa meninggalkan katil yang empuk dan panas itu untuk melepaskan qada` hajat.. dan selepas keluar.. terus mata jadi terang benderang... bergolek-golek sampai kul 4 , takleh jadi ni.. akak bangun pas tu layan movie kat hallmark.. bijak bijak akak kan...
owh btw, akak tidur kul 9 malam so kalau dihitung akak dah tido 4 jam sebelum terjaga untuk memerut. Pukul 4 pagi akak bangun masak... tetiba nak makan sup yg ala2 di makan kat restoran mohd chan bangi tu... nampak cam sap sap sui jek.. so ala-ala rasa cam lebih kurang sama tu kira suksesss la jugak masakan akak tu....
posa tinggal sehari lagi.. since bendera tgh merah so rasa cam membazir jek bangun pagi2 tapi taleh posa.. ( ha iya la tu... masa belum uzur hari tu, punya la liat nak bangun pagi utk sahur...ishhh apa nak jadi ngan ko ni kak.... )
Habis movie kul 5.30 akak pi mandi and then bfast di pagi buta... pas tu sempat vacuum segala bagai sebelum nyaris tertido di sofa.... hasilnya.. akak menapak sampai gate depan supaya segar sikit bila sampai opis ( tapi nengok kije kat atas meja , yakni kena baca draf thesis yang ayar tah hapa2.. semangat yang berkobar nak buat kije tu menipis balik).. lemah betul la,, kalau kita kena betulkan ayat yang bukan ciptaan sendiri... bukan sikit lak tu.. berkajang2 kertas... cam ni alamatnya... lagi 2 tahun la student akak ni grad agaknya... nak kena hadiri kursus menulis tesis yang betul dulu kot...
This weekend, tak der aktiviti kat fak, jadi yahoooo akak boleh bersantai.. ( opps lupo ada satu tesis lagi kena hantar report), semenjak tua ni, akak memang kena bangun pagi waima hari cuti pun sebab rasanya macam tak best jek kalau ketiduran sampai matahari dah tegak atas kepala... lagi weeeknd lagi awal akak bangun
sebenonya.. napa tah...
Lagi apa ek nak tulis.. sebenonya akak cuba nak menghibur hati sebab dah 3 hari duk ngadap draf thesis yang dah kali keberapa dah tapi tetapppp... nahu ayat bagai makin banyak salahnya... Minum nescafe pekat dipagi buta pun dah tak jalan.. bila nampak ayat2 yang ditulis ni... ( penat sebenarnya duk complain benda sama ni)
petang ni rasa cam nak memperabiskan duit jek.. tapi on 2 nd tot.. tak bulehh... bulan depan gaji cam biasa pas tu bulan 9 pun gaji cam biasa.. abis book shelf ngan wardrobe kat umah akak tu nak bayo ngan apa? sisik ikan?
iya.. sisik ikan la sangatt.....
harus sambung kije balik... semalam fb takleh bukak the whole day rasa cam resah gelisah, tapi kalau leh bukak pun bukannya akak nak bukak pun.. saje ngada kan... ( elok la tu sendiri kutuk sendiri iyakan).. nampak sangat kehidupan akak sehari2 terbatas dalam bilik sendiri sensorang ...

The itchy feet

2010-07-20T13:09:00.002+08:00

Its been 4 months since i last have an enjoyable trip with fun companies and now my feet has started to itch again... Flipping thru the pictures.. ( waa akak rasa cam kurus sedikit last year), i can still feel the warmth of kyoto sun while trying to explore every inch of the Kyoto land... well not much that we were able to explore during the short stay and limited time on excursions.. but I remember, while sitting on the backseat of the luxurious MPV that sent us to the places we felt it's worth to visit( indeed), i promised myself that I m gonna come again to Kyoto, to finish my exploration.. there are so much to see yet so little time....and yes, with some good companies, the visit wud be more than worthwhile....
owh.. i dun have any complaints today, apart of 3 hrs straight lecture.. and a soggy homemade sandwich to munch .. Life is totally perfect for me at the moment... I m feeling motivated as well... err...

Ala-ala ibu tiri yang garang...

2010-07-14T20:54:00.003+08:00

Mood akak untuk mengupdate hanya datang malam2 jek.. itu pun kalau bukak lappy.. dan online.. ada jugak masa-masanya online dan mengupdate lecture notes.. tapi itu hanya beberapa kali dalam setahun sahaja... heheheh
My classes for this semester only avail on monday and tuseday jek.. so the rest of the weekdays adalah masa untuk menghabiskan kerja-kerja yang masih pending since cuti semester hari tu.. akak pun taktau kenapa... rasanya cam kije dah tekun.. tapi nak siapkan satu paper makan lebih dr dua minggu... owh that wont be my paper.. i asked the post grad student to write the paper, tapi biasa la sampai kat kita, caca marba jek dibuatnya.. quote reference kat text, tapi tengok dalam list reference takder... masa nak amend.. hati duk menyumpah-nyumpah, rasa cam nak penyekk jek budak tu if she were infront me at dat time.. seriously... post grad students nowadays are of lowest quality... and i keep comparing myself during those years, masa akak jadi postgrad student dulu... (idokla akak nak bangga akak dulu bagus.. tapi ex-supervisor akak si Datin yang dah ada pangkat P kat satu universiti kat tengah2 KL tu masih lagi menyebut2 nama akak kepada students2 nya sekarang... ) tak ke bangga akak? sebab nanti dia akan cakap " haa,, akak tu, walaupun saya dah marah dia, maki dia , panggil dia tolol, tapi tetap dia buat kije dia dgn baik.." haaaa tak ke kembang kempis idung akak tu...
Akak tatau kenapa bebudak sekarang are very indecisive, dan tak determined... contoh paling dekat, anak2 buah akak yang baru masuk U. Sorang, pas sebulan kat matrik kat satu univ kat PJ tu tetiba nak tukar masuk satu univ kat kajang tu. Masa kita org nasihat dulu suh masuk the latter univ, macam2 alasan dia.. at the end dia ikut juga kata mak bapak dia tapi during the process, dia telah banyak menyusahkan dan menghari-birukan keadaan. Alasan dia kenapa nak tukar univ? sebab the former univ hostel dia tak best sebab kena duk ramai2 dlm satu dorm.. dan dia mau masuk the latter univ sebab kawan dia bgtau duduk situ macam apartment.. sangat best... haaa tengok.. he can be easily influenced by the friends.. whioch i think is totally RIDICULOUS... abis lepas ko masuk the latter univ ko tau. bahawa indah khabar dari rupa.. mana lagi ko nak masuk? Universiti of Tanjung Rambutan lol..
kes dua, anak buah akak yang perempuan... dapat dua offer, satu matrikulasi, satu lagi diploma kursus yang agak sukar le ko nak dapat kije rite after ko abis diploma tu.. so makcik2 dia dan juga atuk neneknya bagi la tau.. masuk la matrikulasi .. tapi disebabkan.. tempat matrikulasi tu mestilah jauh skit drpd kampung halaman tercenta..and tempat yg tawarkan diploma tu masih dalam negeri yang sama.. so dia pun memutuskan untuk mengambil diploma dengan memberi pelbagai alasan yang tak masuk dek akal seperti... ambik matrik susah... (sebab ada org kampung yang balik kg sebab tak lulus matriks) dan juga alasan yang dia dah taknak ambik subjek yang berasaskan sains... well hello.. abis ko ambik diploma tu.. ko masih kena ambik basic science courses...
so ok la.. since its her decision, kita org redhakan ajer... so pergilah dia untuk mendaftar... tup tup tak sampai seminggu dah talipon maknya.. cakap dia nak duk luar la.. demam la.. basuh baju tak sempat la... bila mak akak cerita dlm talipon.. akak gelak tergolek2.. tu taktik kotor la tu.. nak cakap dia tak suka duk kat situ... minggu orientasi pun belum abis, dah merungut macam2...
sebab tu la akak kater.. hudak2 zaman sekarang memang manja... mengada2... semua nak yg senang.. talleh rasa susah sikit... padahal anak buah akak yang pompuan tu bukannya duduk kat bandar besar.. takder orang gaji pun kat rumah.. tapi memang duduk menyelit bawah ketiak mak ajer.. yang mak dia pun (akak yang sulung) tu pun mengikut jek cakap anak dia...kalau nak dibandingkan hidup akak dengan hidup dia.. memang cam langit dan bumi ler.. akak ni sakit bukan yang sikit2.. tapi semangat nak belajar tu berkobar2...mak akak tegah pun akak buat bo layan.. bial mak akak acah2.. abis kalau sakit tak leh berjalan camna nak pergi kelas, sapa nak tolong.. kat u sana tu semua org buat hal masing2...akak balas balik, alaaa Allah kan ada.. Dia la yang tolong.. kalau nak harapkan manusia.. memanglah tak leh harap...
Dan itu lah yang menjadi pegangan akak... memang la.. segala apa yang mak akak acah2 tu memnag jadi kenyataan.. akak pernah tergolek sorang2 kat bilik.. tak boleh bangun, nak pegi kelas pun tak boleh, tapi betul la, Tuhan akan menolong hambanya... ada jek orang yg akan tolong akak walaupun akak tak mintak...
Entahlah, budak2 sekarang.. tak perlu tengok yang jauh.. yg dekatpun dah ada contoh terbaik.. seriously, akak sangat kuciwa ( ewahh), apasal la budak2 sekarang lemah-lemah.. segala2nya mintak disuap.. kalau tak, komplen, cakap kita yang tak baik.. tak tolong.. abis kalau dah mentaliti macam tu.. apa ko ingat ko boleh survive kalau dicampak dalam hutan? ini dicampak kat Dungun pun, dah mengonggoi nak balik...Agaknya sebab banyak makan fast food kot mental pun jadi cam kentang goreng yg akan lemau kalau dah sejuk...
Tapi kan.. akak rasa serba sedikit, ini juga mungkin berpunca darupada didikan ibubapa... kalau dah tak tegas dengan anak dari awal.. cam tu la jadinyaaa.. kalau mak tegas, bapak asyik lembik tengkok jek ngan anak pun tak jadik...abis kesedaran pun tak diberi dari awal.. asal jek dapat ok sikit result.. reward la dengan PSP la, kamera la, hp la,, akak dulu dapat no 1, takpernah dapat apa2.. sebab apa? sebab akak tau... ayah akak tak mampu nak mereward bagai ni.. gaji cuma cukup untuk makan pakai dan sara idup anak2... memang la.. akak rasa itulah sebab utamanyaaaa....Tidak syak lagik....
(wah lamanya ko membebel akak... macam la anak ko ada sepuluh tapi hakikatnya... NAN ADO..) . agaknya sebab tu la Tuhan tak kurniakan anak kat akak sebab Dia tahu kalau akak ada anak, mereka akan sengsara sebab dapat mak yang amat tegas.. yang tak akan teragak2 melempang kalau anak dia mengada2.. hahahaah).
Ok la.. akak dah tak nak cakap lagi.. tak pasal stress di malam hari sebab cerita pasal benda ni....lol...

Maka..

2010-07-12T23:02:00.003+08:00

semester baru sudah pun bermula.. not good not good...sebabnya..
1. hidup kembali kelam kabut dengan kunjungan students yang tak putus-putus bertali arus... tak berapa nak suka.. sebab... sakit kepala sebab mulut kena bercakap sepanjang masa.. seriously.. akak kalau bercakap jek esp dengan nada yg sedikit kuat.. akan menyebabkan kepala rasa sakit...dan juga...
2. bila kena bercakap banyak... kije tak berapa nak jalan.. konsentrasi asyik terganggu... sekejap2 bilik kena ketuk... seriously.. susah jadi org poplar ni.. ahahahah
3. semangat nak bagi lecture awal2 ni.. sangat lah kurang... dah 2 bulan tak perlu pung pang pung pang depan students.. akak ni kan org tua.. kalau mengajar kalau tak diselit dengan nasihat dan omelan cam mak nenek.. cam tak berapa nak lengkap jek lecture tu...
4. akak rasa akak need a break.. bukan nak break yg duduk goyang kaki kat rumah.. pas tu jalan2 makan angin nak memperabiskan duit.. akak ni kan ada satu lagi passion yakni buat penyelidikan.. tapi semenjak dua menjak mengajar jek.. takder masa nak menyelidik sepenuh masa.. setakat supervise students tu jek... itu tak thrill...
5. akak sebenarnya sangat suka dengan kije akak.. yelah.. wat more do i want.. ada kawan2 yg memahami.. yang bila akak tension akak leh confide to them... ada deadlines.. tu pun akak suka.. walaupun kadang2 rasa nak meroyan bila tak leh achieve deadlines.. ada jugak sorang dua yg akak rasamenyampah ngan attitudes dorang.. ( tu yg pangkat dah tinggi tapi bab2 melukakan hati manusia sekeliling amatlah cekap).. tapi.. ada akak kesahhh? moto akak. tak suka jgn campo dorang...
6. kadang2 rasa frust juga dengan management.. tapi akak tau dorang tu durian akak ni kan mentimun.. sob sob sob
7. overall.. akak sangat suka ngan kije akak.. flexi time.. walaupun kena punch in punch out and bila lepas kul 8 dia akan jadu merah.. tapi ada akak kesahhh?as long as kije kita siap takdernya dorang nak warning kita datang lambat ke hapa....
8.walaupun akak dan kwn2 yg lain telah di label sebagai syok sendiri... oleh sorang mamat hampeh tu.. tapi akak tak kesahh.. sekurang2nya penat jerih akak untuk memajukan tempat kije akak ni dihargai..
-- owh lagi satu.... akak sangat suka kalau dapat students yg first day.. dah menunjukkan minat yang amat mendalam pada subjek yang kita ajar.. dan penuh hormat pula ucap terimaksih bila kita lepas dia awal... and datang sorang2 cium tangan... owhh sangat terharu disitu.. dan tiba2 akak rasa its worthwhile akak mengajar pelajar2 yang penuh tertib macam tu...tetiba rasa seronok sangat jadi guru nih... bila dpt pelajar cam nih... TAPI..
bila dpt pelajar yg manjang komplen.. semua nak komplen.. masa itu lah akak mula jadi mak nenek.. membebel dalam kelas... nak bagi pelempang jek sorang2..
so SELAMAT HARI GURU.. akak ( haha tetiba.. motif nak berhari guru walaupun dah lepas.... )
... ok lah.. akak nak kena tido.. bukak lappy ni pun sobab kena update lecture notes utk esok.. last minute punya kije...

Al-kisahnyaaa

2010-07-06T21:40:00.003+08:00

akak di royal garden, istanbul.. dikelilingi ribuan kembang tulip..eh tau tak.. tulips are actually originated from turkey.. tapi tanah belanda yang dapat nama land of tulip.. sungguh tak patut... kalau ke istanbul musim bunga, memang akan nampak tulip dengan pelbagai warna sepanjang jalan dan di mana2 taman.. sangat sanntekkkkkk....

Terlebih dahulu, akak ingin menyusun sepuluh jari memohon kemaafan sekiranya entri ini ada berbau sedikit keriakan.. memandangkan.. menjadi seorang akak yang 24 jam duk sensorang ni, kat mana lagi akak nak mengabarkan perkembangan diri, kalau tidak di blog sendiri ( tapi tu pun jarang-jarang la sbb akak ni kan ikut mood, time mood siri bercakap ngan dinding, sekejap2 siri ketawa sensorang depan tv, kadang0kadang siri bermyahsabah diri,, watever lahh)
Arakiannya, sudah lebih sepurnama, akak meng'haram'kan nasi dalam menu akak.. nasik sahaja tau sebab segala jenis karbohidrat lain, akak masih makan dalam kuantiti yang tidak banyak. ye, akak masih perlukan karbohidrat untuk menjana tenaga supaya senang akak nak marah students master akak yang serba lembab tu..
tapi semalam, akak terpaksa la juga makan nasik ( nasik beriani herba lagi tu) di ladang herba kat pagoh tu, memandangkan akak dah membayo harga untuk pakej lawatan yang termasuk set nasik beriani herba dgn ayam herna dan segala2nya yang berunsur herba la kekdahnya..itu pun akak menyuap bersama sendu di hati.. guilty sangat la rasanya.. ( tak padan balik tibai roti separuh buku hahahaah)
nak cakap berat badan akak turun pun idak la, tapi akak rasa kandungan gula dalam darah takder la mencanak sepanjang masa.. ( owh lupa nak cakap, akak ni sebenonya ada diabetes ye kawan-kawan).. sepanjang satu bulan akak kerap la mengambik sayur dan protin sahaja sewaktu tghari ( sampaikan budak kat kafe kelab golf tu dah sedia maklum), akak ni umpama arnab yang telepas di padang golf itu gamaknya..
hasilnya... owh.. akak gumbira.. berat nya mantain sahaja.. dan akak merasa lebih sihat.. dan tak ngantuk pas lunch.. bley? yang penting kandungan gula dalam darah tetpa mantain sepanjaang hari dan akak pasti rheumy akak akan kagum dgn pemeriksaan darah akak.. cehh perasannn..
yang penting, akak punya waistline semakin mengurang, walaupun berat total takder la mengurang banyak sgt.. so beberapa helai jeans yang tak muat dulu sudah boleh dipakai (sila tepuk utk kejayaan ini)..
owh..masa akak balik turki bulan april lepas, akak sangat terperanjat bila menapak ke atas weighing scale, harap jek berjalan punya la jhauh.. tapi akak naik sampai 2 kg time tu.. separuh pengsan dibuatnya...
of course la, akak ni dinasihatkan tidak selalu menapak disebabkan ingin menjaga segala sendi yang menunggu masa untuk collapse itu.. apatah akak kan tidak berupaya untuk naik turun tangga, so apa lagi yg akak boleh buat untuk exercise kan?
so akak ingin teruskan dengan kempen tidak makan nasik ini selama yang boleh untuk kesihatan diri...

Things that were in mind today..and also at the moment

2010-06-30T21:11:00.003+08:00

1. still raging over my postgrad students yang tak gheti2 nak submit the papers that i ordered her to do 2days ago. Thus, i sent another email this afternoon..
2. a bit disappointed with someone's email today . previous emails raise my hope and today, it crushing down infront of my eye.. *sobbing*.. never mind.. im gonna put another try by writing to others.
3. heard from a friend that bae yong jun, the winter sonata's hero killed himself today.. by strangling himself with the mobile charger.... so saddd.. :( i pity him for not appreciating his own life... its the nowadays trend kot..
4. still have another week for myself before the students start coming in.. owhhh mengapakah masa begitu cepat berlalu...
5. how i wish my kid sisters have their own blog.. so dat i will know what really happen in their lives.. owh well facebook tidak membawa makna apa2 rupanya...(motif ko nak tau apa adik2 ko buat tu kenapa kak? lol)
6. Im thinking of ending a 'not going anywhere'-relationship.. at least tat's wat i ve been realising all these while..
7. during the closing ceremony of one event this afternoon, the speaker was talking abt 2S ie sincerity and sacrifice.... .. cant help being cynical thus i asked silently.. SO?
8.Can i just leave all the works behind and fly back to hometown????? can? can?
9.Ok this may sound a bit... ermm i dunno.. gedik... but i ve been checking the cinema website twice for the twilight saga series... should i say.. i cant wait to watch eclipse... erkk..
10. I should buy the padlock tomorrow. This apt is not safe anymore.. just read it from the facebook site of the apt committee... ( ada tempat proses syabu at the 4th floor.. wa cakap lu.. maybe its abt time that they called karam singh walia... )
10. wat i m gonna have for bfast tomorrow?
dats it... im off to bed...

Am I being too lenient?

2010-06-18T08:05:00.003+08:00

Motif berblog di pagi hari? hahah mesti ada yang tak kena ni kan?
yes. ini entri luahan rasa yang akak rasa nak tulis cepat-cepat dan lupakan cepat2 ( ehh tak bleh lupa.. lepas tulis nak lempang cepat2 kat the main target.. boleh?
tadi.. sekejap tadi.. akak bukak facebook.. pas tu tengok status one of my post grad studnts yang begitu excited sebab dah book tiket nak ke Berlin for the spetember conference...
Ok.. akak tak jealous pun.. sebab akak yang galakkan dia org participate.. tapi yang tetiba jiwa akak rasa menngelodak dan perasaan 'irritating' dan 'annoying' yang tetiba bermaharajalela dalam dada akak ini ialah kerana..
1. owh excited ye nak pi berlin.. thesis ko dah submit lum?
2. dah berjanggut aku tunggu ko pass up draf thesis.. langsun NAN ADO
3. bebudak zaman sekarang.. ingat nak yg best jek.. abis ko ingat wat master tu hasilnya ko leh berjalan makan angin pi oversea je ke? THESIS nya mana dol?
4. apasal la aku tak leh ikut jejak langkah supervisor aku masa buat master dulu.. sebab dia la i can finish my master on time
5. dah masuk 3 tahun , hantar draf sebulan sekali tu pun macam buat cincai-cincai jek... apa dia ingat aku yg nak betulkan semua yg dia tulis.. DREAM ON!
5. Pas ni aku nak bagi deadline.. aku nak garang segarang garangnyaaaaaaaa bley!
6. tapi budak2 ni memang selalu wat taktik kotor.. sebelum aku marah dia. awal2 lagi dah buat drama ayermata depan aku
7. *7^%#&%$#@(KH*(()*^^&^%$#@#

Dah... nak pergi buat kije.. hati masih membara nih...

Selingan..

2010-06-17T16:14:00.002+08:00

Kadang-kadang kita akan rasa dada kita sarat dengan masalah yang takboleh diluahkan. Sebab penyelesaian kepada masalah itu tiada penghujungnya. Maka, jalan yang paling baik, simpan dalam dada dan makin bertambah senaklah rasanya. Lagi satu, pura-pura masalah itu tidak wujud dan bergembiralah melalui kehidupan yang penuh kepura-puraan. manusia mana yang tiada masalah? samada masalah itu besar atau kecik sahaja., atau memang sifat manusia memperbesar-besarkan masalah yang kecil dan meremeh-remehkan masalah yang besar? kategori manakah kamu?
Sekiranya kita boleh melalui kehidupan tanpa gangguan daripada anasir'subversif', tanpa hasad dengki makhluk sekeliling, tanpa kutukan yang ingin menjatuhkan; kritikan membina memang dialu2kan tetapi kebanyakan manusia cuba berselindung disebalik maksud kritikan itu kononnya 'membina' la sangat walhal niat sebenar hanyalah untuk 'mencari pasal'.
Dan sebab itu lah ada lah jenis manusia yang totally akan memendam rasa dan sebaliknya berdoa semoga Allah yang Maha Kaya itu akan memberi balasan kepada kaum pengzalim itu. Biarlah dendam dan kezaliman makhluk Allah itu diadili dengan saksamanya oleh si Pencipta...
Dan saya juga percaya dengan hukum Karma.. cuma masa sahaja yang menentukannya...

Turkey trip- Antalya

2010-06-12T21:35:00.003+08:00

Memandangkan malam ni malam minggu, so akak sikit terajin mengelod piccas masa kat turki hari tu.. ni pun jenuh nunggu padahal baru beberapa piccas jek.. maka terimalahhhhhh.... ( ye akak nengok masa kat sana makin tombam la plak.. muka cam buah epal dah hahaha) tapi skrg pun cam tu... nak wat camna.. dah tak fotogenit.. wat camna pun muka cam tu le.. tanpa dibantu oleh mana2 perisian komputer yek.. hahaha. owhh kronologi sepatutnya bermula dengan pic yg paling bawah tu... so caption macam tiba2 lompat sana lompat sini la yek

ini ada lah muka-muka yg excited nak pi excursion ke water fall ( yg sangat cantik very piocturesque wa cakap lu, tapi disebabkan tunggu bas lama sangat, muka yg excited tu lama2 jadi boring.. ini ada lah group 1 ASIA yek.. ada from brunei, india dan juga portugal.. ( tu european sesat.. muka minah tu cam iras2 ugly betty kan?)

owh ini view from jetty at the beach.. since i have once come here, and the other 2 havent come to this part of theresort yet, so akak pun jadi ala2 tourist guide bawak dioarang.. sebenonya kita org ingat kan nak pi snacking.. sbb terlepas lunch.. malangnya dia org dah tukar snack time to earlier time.. so lagi 5 min diaorang nak bawak masuk.. tgh kita org duk ambik tu tepat jek kul 6 dorang terus bawak masuk,,, kurang hasam betul... kalau kat mesia takder nya dorang buat cam tu kan... kalau ada hoteliers yg tengah ambik makanan...huh!

dan ini adalah muka2 yg sangat puas hati dengan perkhidmatan turkish bath and massage..on the 1st day we arrived, since conference started in the afternoon, we managed to go out pi try turkish bath and hamamm at the nearby area. kat hotel will cost aby 46 euri tapi kat luar we managed to get 19 euro/person for 11/2 hour. gila murah.. lara is the name of the city and hamami means massage.. basically it comes in a package of bath and massage.. akak siap buat facial lagi hahahah . 1st time for ppl yang takpernak masuk turkish bath.. akan mendapat kejutan which will give a cardiovascular side effect... akak rasa heart rate akak increased crastically + BP pun mencanak naik time tu.. nasib tak muntah jek masa tu.. tapi akak tengok turkish cam biasa jek.. akak telah disental dengan jayanya oleh masseur yang badannya masyaalah... pas tu naik atsa rehat jap.. minum turkish tea yang sangat best... di massage pulak... since kulit akak ni kan sensitip.. akak suh dorang go gently..tapi time urur kat belakang.. sangatlah besttt.. time kat peha.. menggeletis punya la sakit... aka rasa la kalau akak duk turki memang tiap2 bulan la akak pi sana... takpayah gosok daki sendiri.. org lain buat muahahaha...selepas disental akak dapat rasakan akak sangatlah putih bersih dan tak comot lagi hahahah

at the beach.. since kita org ( me and one of the bruneian colleague) tak sempat lunch, so berusaha menapak ke beach yang punya la jauh for the snack.. muka yang tak basuh tak mandi dah lebih 24 jam tapi ada hati nak pi beach .. tapi masyaalahh... viewnya sangat la losuy ( sebab makcik2 tua ada hati pakai bikini lalulalang depan kita org.. wat a sore sight heheh)

ini view daripada bilik akak... excited gila bila sampai ( padahal penat punya la 10 jam dalam flight, pas tu tunggu berejam plak tunggu flight ke antalya.. excited punya pasal....tu sebenonya swimming pool resort sebelah.. kat antalya ni semuanya beach resort.. dah namanya turkey riviera.. tapi best.. rentalnya sekali ngan meals 6x perday dengan semua facilities are usable.. ada semuanya siap ngan mini theater, golf miniature ( motif nak cakap juga?), turkish bath, sauna, gym etc...

-to be continued-(kalau rajin)

updating la sikit-sikit

2010-06-08T17:10:00.002+08:00

Lama sungguh tak update. Lotsa things to write but as usual, I was too lazy to memerah otak untuk mentintakan bait-bait tulisan di layar internet ( ecewahh... bahasa)
And as today.. i took an MC.. i was at O&G clinic for a followup... kalau appointment abis after 12, harus ambik Mc as i d be too lazy to go to work and do things within less than 5 hours ( ada baiknya balik dan tido saja kat rumah .. and pas tu bukak internet kan kan kan)
I started my depo back.. due to the recurrence of my endometrial pain during my menses ( that is the 1st time in 1 1/2 years).. so not to take anymore risk of my ovaries forming the cysts, I begged the MO to give me a depo ( padahal previously berkeras taknak tu).. but since the mercilon gave me the pain and i think it trigger my enodmetriosis again, ( please dun ask me why, my response to drugs are very different from others).. so have to be prepared to get bald hahahaha. one of the side effects of depo is.. it will make your hair fall down.. lotsa hair ( haa kau dengar tu sedi hahahah)
owh well.. enuff about updates on my health.. the laymen wont even know wat i m talking about.. living with 2 sisters who are medical specialists make me become like i am now lol.. owh btw, the MO who attended me , she's from UPM too.. just started her master in family medicine.. when she mentioned her name.. it just occured to me that I once came across her blog while i was bloghopping.. ( so i did remember her whines regarding her bz life as previous MO in hospital kajang and she was very grateful when she got a permanent post as UPM staff).. did mutter to her regarding her blog and she was quite surprised hehehe. anyway, i did not manage to get back to her blog.again...
owh ok.. on lighter note, my fav bro and family dah siap bersukaria kat kg for a week.. ces ces ces.. balik sikit punya lama..as i has gone back home earlier, the tot of joining the crowd tu masih membara-bara, but due to the unfinished business kat fakulti ni.. ( the students are on semester holidays tapi tatap la juga akak kije dengan tekunnya)... cikgu kan cuti kalau students cuti kan... best kan jadi cikgu? NOT! hahahaha..
Owh btw my bp has gone down to normal level when the students are all gone. ( nampak sangat akak stress time students ada hahaha)
am going to penang esok for students practical visit. hajat hati nak pi memborong jeruk salak kat chowrasta bazaar but it depends on the 'tourist guide'. selalunya akak memang makan ati dengan the tourist guide's sense of direction. susah sangat akak naik cab jek la..
I m leading a very quiet life la nowadays .. i do admit it.. neither going out at nite nor weekends... must be the age factor... i m transforming to an anti-social personality la kot hahahah... ( but the only thing that i love doing till now i is gossiping with my kid sisters.. tapi haram... both of them are stuck with kids and their hectic life as MOs.. so i rarely meet them. But i did visit one of the sister at her Putra height's home last weekend. tu pun after too many procrastinations..
owh well.. need to take a shower now.. its very hot nowadays.. rarely rain in kajang... feel like sleepingt naked jek... hahahaha
ciao..

Misteri Nusantara 2

2010-05-25T15:01:00.003+08:00

Assalamualaikum.....
semenjak 2 menjak akak ni sgt bz.. iya bz dengan kegiatan paranormal yang berlangsung dirumah akak tanpa akak sedari.. ala-ala mistik gitu..so semenjak akak dah aware dgn aktiviti paranormal tu, terpaksa la akak mengambil usaha untuk memberhentikan kegiatan 'haram' tersebut ( haram la, dah berlangsung tanpa kebenaran tuanrumah) dengan pergi berubat kat beberapa orang ustaz ( nanti la akak updatekan lain kali secara terperinci)
.. balik dr istanbul ari tu, akak ke jogjakarta ye mas mas dan mbak mbak sekelian ( motif tetiba cakap indon?) untuk mengunjung universiti gajah mada dan juga untuk aktiviti berwisata dan libur dan shopping kat pasar beringharjo. hasilnya wang di akaun akak susut berjuta-juta rupiah... heh:)
sekembalinya akak daripada liburan di jogja, akak kembali ke kampung halaman sambil membuat lawatan mengejut ke rumah adik akak di KT. dan baru minggu lepas akak kembali ke serdang... dan sekarang seperti dipermulaan paragraf tadi, akak tgh berusaha untuk mengurangkan aktiviti paranormal daripada terus berleluasa di teratak buruk akak.. ecewahhh
Minggu ini, akak ada konferens di KL, dan minngu depan mungkin akan ke Penang barang semalam untuk melawat student praktikal...
Rasanya masa berlalu dengan begitu pantas.. Niat di hati masa cuti semester ni sempatla menulis paper untuk penerbitan jurnal...
Aja-aja fighting akak! ( tetiba... )

Motivational story.. you think?

2010-05-01T21:45:00.003+08:00

Im a bit melancholic tonite, bear it wth me then..
Ever since I came back from Istanbul last sunday, I still cant overcome this fatigueness.. and i tot the jet lag would only last for a few days after my return.. Unfortunately, I am still not able to adjust my sleeping time.. I ve become very sleepy at daytime and wide awake at nite time.. I think my body has been warning me regarding tis but i just simply ignore it.. now..i think this body cant take it anymore la..
Anyway..on lighter note.. Things are still gonna be hectic for me for the past few weeks.. the final year students have just finished their viva voce.. the rest have gone back home for the semester holidays.. and I guess.. after this I m gonna be quite free to start writing a few papers.. while taking some time off to see my parent.. and another visit for the studnts who went for their LIs.
I managed to blog visit to a few blogs in my list.. and I cant help to feel empathy towards budlee regarding his blog content.. I did see him couple of times in the faculty, as I know his face thru his blog. I guess this is wat most of the postgraduates feel during their studies.. and I m not an exception either..
However, its not that I want to brag during those heydays of mine.. but just want to motivate you ( if u r reading this post), your life is much more easier than mine.
If i can do it.. ( and you have to remember, I do not possess a good health, I ve rheumatoid arhtritis when i was 10 years old till now), u d surely can go through it till the end.
Those were the days la kan.. I went thru so many hindrances when i was in my 1st unmdergraduate year. Took 2 years leave as my condition was worsening at dat time. continued my study when all of are my friends were at their final year and i was still struggling to undergo my 1st year. I ve been yelled at when i accidentally trash my samples by my supervisor.. I remember weeping softly in the elevator on saturday afternoon, rite after i came out from my supervisor's room. and i still remember what she told me in that room," Saya tak pernah jumpa budak yang tolol macam awak ni,simply buang jek samples awak dalam sink without consulting anyone".. ( and how i was supposed to consult anyone when i was all alone in the lab most'f d time, as I started my FYP in 2nd semester, when the rest of the students have already finished their project during that time.
But I guess i have a thick skull, and when the the incoming semester started, I ve registered myself as a Msc student under the same supervisor and I guess that's why I ve earned her respect until now. She's still mentioning my name (in a good way) to her current postgrads even tho the incident had happened more than 16 years ago. Whe n i did my phD,due to my condition, I had undergone 2 incidents of sprained arm and other worst cases. I have to choose between my pain and the lab works and usually the former won. Nevertheless, all those incidents never stopped me to go on. at times i felt so frustrated, I was all alone.. but the tot of' this is the thing that I wanted, nobody put a gun at my head for that. and i ve never complained about it no matter how tough it is. so to you... my advice.. you cannot just put all the tots in the writing.. some things are better left unsaid.. Nobody will say that its an easy things to do.. any jobs in the world is tough.. The students will say that their times are the toughest.. and when they started working,their perception will also change..the key word is the patience. and the gratitude..when I have no one to turn to.. I know I still have HIM that protects me ever since I was born. I know, with his protection and his doings, I am what I am now. As muslims , we all are.. rite?
Last time, I have a supervisor who cannot be yr 'friend'. we do not have hps that we can just simply text ur supervisor and pour out yr problems even on weeeknds. and I personally believed that doing postgrad studdies nowadays are much more easy. we do not have the internet access during those time and we had limited references to be included in yr thesis. .....
owh well.. enuff about it I guess.. am still trying to overcome this tiredness..
Good luck..

Gumbira

2010-04-13T22:26:00.003+08:00

Motif akak berupdate tgh2 malam buta ni? ....
Sebagaimana tajuk di atas, kegumbiraan hati akak ini sebenarnya adalah disebabkan ( wahh ayat!).....
ok.. akak letakkan dalam point form yek ( nih gara2 baca thesis budak2 dah terikut2 ni..)
. akak dah selesai memarking 5 bijik thesis dengan jayanya.. disaat lecturer lain masih lagi terkial2 duk ambik draf students dorang.. (bab ni akak memang bo-layan. dah cakap submit 1 april, apa kes ko baru terhegeh2 nak submit DRAF on the 1st April? Ke diaorang ni memang tak paham arahan dalam bahasa Melayu. So akak dengan tegasnya merejecyt mana2 draf yang baru disubmit on dat day dan mengarahkan sebijik thesis yang lengkap dihantar dalam masa seminggu. ( tu kira akak masih lenient lagi pe..)
. akak dah berjaya mengahbiskan kerja-kerja lain. juga mengisi fail untuk audit.
. so semua dah settled. maka terhegeh2 juga la akak nak buat slide untuk presentation kat conference next week
. Akak akan ke Turki next week, alone.. tapi balik ada company. Sangat seronok juga rasanya sebab akak akan ke Antalya aka Turkish Riviera selama 5 hari di mana konferens diadakan. lepas tu stop kat istanbul 2 hari sementara menunggu flight. Best tak? best tak?
. owh lupa nak cakap. akak dapat lagi another colic last friday. Pukul 3 pagi akak ke A&E Hospital Serdang sebab dah tak tahan sakit sgt. It seemed dat kidney stone yg diblasted 6 months ago, has recurred again.
. Owh lagi satu, setelah 9 bulan akak berjaya tidak di 'jab' dengan depo, akak sudah tewas hari ni.. sebab obstetrician tu nasihatkan akak ambik balik pil perancang, and this time secara oral.. akak redha jek la. owh and they found out ada fibroid sebesar 3x3 cm yang tidak merbahaya mengikut dokter. i gained 2.5 kg after 4 months.
. Nephew akak yang baru sebulan masuk SMS Alam Shah mogok tak nak balik skolah semula last sunday, yang membuatkan mak bapak beliau mati akal.. ( ikut hati nak rasanya pelempang jek budak tu)
. Akak pergi Setia Alam untuk melihat rumah baru abang akak di sana, yang ternyata tak mampu untuk akak membelinya hatta sebuah pondok pun kat sana..
. Muscle kat perut ni masih lagik sakit hasil muntah berkali-kali masa colic tu.. nak batuk pun sakit wooo....
Akak rasa itu jek laporan buat kali ini.. Akak akan membebel lagi when i came back from Turkey ya.. Harap2 nya selamat la perjalanan pergi dan balik..

Sehari tak cukup 8 jam

2010-04-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

Sekarang ni disebabkan dilambak dengan beban kerja yang memerlukan kesemuanya diselesaikan sebelum 17 hb, akak dah mula merasakan satu hari tak cukup 8 jam kerja.. CTolak dengan masa pegi toilet, makan, meeting ngan students, satu tesis pun tak sempat abis baca sehari.. ditambah dengan 5 business reports yang harus di bagi markah.. report pada penghujung kursus, slides yang masih perlu dibuat.. memikirkannya rasa mahu stay back kat ofis sampai malam.
Malangnya, rasa kesian kat driver mengatasi segalanya. Kalau nak suruh dia datang ambil dalam pukul 7 gitu,abis pukul berapa dia akan sampai rumah? mesti lepas pukul 10 malam. Almaklumla KL ni makin lewat makin jam. Maka, nak tak nak, terpaksa la juga balik tepat pukul 5 so dat driver boleh sampai rumah dia before 7.
Hari ni kononnya dah janji nak balik dengan kawan, so dat kita orang boleh stay back sampai maghrib. Tapi rancangan tak terlaksana. At the end balik pukul 5 juga.
Masa kita sibuk ni la, masa tu la nak buat audit, bagi deadline bagai...
Apa salahnya kalau semua tu boleh di hantar selepas 24 hb?
macam ada 3 orang students ni.. disebabkan dia org bertiga jek yang kena pegi somewehere on tat exam day.. siap merayu suruh postpone exam. Kalau dia cakap dia org jek yang terlibat, of course la kita org boleh awalkan exam utk 3 orang tu. Tapi sukarela la plak merayu untuk kawan2 lain yang tak de kena mengena. Itu la buat ayat separuh jalan.
Esok cadangnya nak terus buat kije tanpa apa2 gangguan. kena pikir dua kali untuk pegi bersembang. Selalunya sembang tu jadi kegiatan sampingan sebab ada jek terjumpa orang yang nak bersembang on the way to toilet..
meja pun semakin berselerak. Silap haribulan terjumpa bangkai cicak kat atas meja tu hahahaha.
Ok la.. bak kata students.. aja aja fighting la gamoknyeee..
Weekend ni baru ingat nak kemas rumah.. dah ada agenda lain.. mom n sis are in town.. kena la jugak pi jumpa.. dah dekat 5 bulan tak jumpa mak.. sebelum pegi mana2 baik mintak restu mak dulu kan :)

Misteri Nusantara

2010-04-05T21:23:00.003+08:00

okay< I need to blog regarding this, Tried not to think about it, but it really annoyed me. Tried to tell pakcik, (biasalah akak kan suka mengadu domba, but I dun think I d get any response from him. The least that he can do is irritating me more by telling that i m being forgetful again)..
But I know I am not. And I am pretty sure that I did not misplace it. Eh, akak yang basuh kain lipat kain, takkan akak tak ingat kan?
Well let me tell the story.. I lost my pant again. The grey pant. and this is the 2nd time tat I lost my pant inside my house!
The first time was last year. I lost 2 pair of pants at tat time. the chocolate and the pink ones. I tot I left them at my bro's but when I asked the maid to look for me, she said they'r not there. Of course la akak pun perasan akak tak pernah tinggal apa2 kalau balik rumah my bro. And this time, I lost another pant. I still remember I saw it nicely folded inside the 2nd drawer in the room.
Tapi tadi, bila akak tiba2 terasa nak pakai, akak cari lah tapi tidak jumpa. Persoalannya, siapakah yang mengambilnya???
I mean kalau ada org yang masuk rumah akak when i was not at home, takkan lah dia cuma ambik sehelai seluar kelabu akak jek. Abis laptop and other precious items in my house tu, takde la plak dia nak ambik?
So, tadi kan, akak cam dah bengang, akak siap cakap kuat2, sesapa yang ambik tu pulangkan lah.. cukup2 lah dia ambik a few items in my house, hari tu syampu yang akak beli letak kat fridge kat dapur pun bila akak nak guna, dah takder!
Akak perasan jugak, whenever I bought another new pants, ada la satu atau 2 helai yang lama went missing. and last time, when the chocolate pant went missing, I just bought another new pant with the same color. And this grey pant, I also have another one with the exact color..
Mysterious,, isnt it?
and that reminds me of another incident... which happened a few months ago.
The fan was on when i came back from work. Scary gila akak time tu cos I remember I did not leave the fan on when i left the house.
Hmm.. i dun know la.. Really dun want to think about it but it has really pissed me off to the extent that i changed my mind to wear the blouse that matches with the pant. I m wearing a baju kurung instead.
And Miss Ghost, can you please return my pant and just take watever pants that I dun want to wear anymore?

Almost 'meroyan'

2010-04-01T22:19:00.003+08:00

Kita hanya merancang.. Tuhan yang menentukan,...
Dan atas pernyataan itu lah akak harus pasrah dan redha kerana segala yang dirancang tidak berlaku..
Maka, akak terpaksa teruskan juga rancangan itu walaupun berseorangan.. walaupun segala rancangan telah terkubur begitu sahaja...
Tapi akak MASIH ada PLAN B.. okeyyyy! :)

Kisah 2: Akak masih lagi meroyan dengan kerja yang makin berlambak-lambak ,ditambah dengan students yang punya hobi hantar draf tesis last menett pas tu expect akak boleh baca dalam satu hari...(Akak rasa kalau hari-hari akak meroyan, memang tak lama la tu akan dihumban ke bangunan sebelah tempat kije pakcik shahe kita... ada harapan jadi jiran dia karang :)). Namun begitu ada la juga kebaikan nya... yakni (1) akak tak sempat nak makan minum.. boleh kurus gamaknya (kot)..(2)akak merasa diri sangat produktif, so rasa sedikit sebanyak akak telah menyumbang kepada negara.. (lame punya ayat ni ). Tapi entah mengapa, walaupun bulan ni adalah bulan yang sungguh 'hectic' tapi akak rasa cam bersemangat je.. ( apakah...!)
Kisah 3: Rindu kampung tapi takboleh balik. Ingat nak balik weekend pun, tetap ada jek aktiviti samada difakulti ataupun universiti. Nak balik weekdays, kena tunggu final year students go thru dianya viva dan segala bagai. 2 orang kawan karib akak dah collapsed dah sebab stress kot. Akak, alhamdulillah masih lagi bertahan. kalau nak tumbang.. sempat pegang lamp pole lagi kot :)

Akak harap Allah permudahkan laluan hidup akak dan juga sihatkan tubuh badan akak sehingga hujung tahun ni. AMIN

Hesitating..

2010-03-24T13:36:00.003+08:00

Ok so i feel like updating today...despite my hectic life nowadays..
Of lates, I ve been piled up with lotsa students theses, yang cas last-last minute baru suruh kita baca.. typical for them..
and I m in the sorta disturbed mood... due to an incident which make me sangat la berjauh hati with my good frends..
yes, I m nut supposed to pour this feelin out as I ve actually promised myself.. that no venting out either yr frustration or yr anger in blogs, our wallowing in self pity..(tapi i ve to break my own rules on this one isolated case..)
am not going to narrate it openly tho...
Let me just narrate things that indirectly related with the things that really bothering me now.. basically people may just add 2 into another 2.tho..
Haishh.. how to start arr?
On another note.. tak payah la cerita.. let me keep it inside myself.. till i m humbly back to normal.. Just put my nose inside all those stacks of paperworks on my messy table..

Kisah dalam cerita

2010-03-19T14:13:00.003+08:00

Kisah 1: Semalam akak punya birthday. Tetiba jek rasa terharu sebab pelbagai umat manusia kat facebook akak post birthday wishes. waaahh... selama ni takder sapa tau birthday akak, ni dah join fb semua org sama-sama celebrate ( la sangat) dengan akak. Iya la kata-kata dan doa tu pun dah cukup menggumbirakan hati akak yang tengah lara ni (cehwahh). My good friend belanja akak makan, lepas tu terus la buat aktiviti sampingan serba sedikit kat JJ equine park. Ada seorang manusia tu lupa birthday akak, tak pe la, lagipun konfrontasi masih lagi diteruskan.

Kisah 2: Hari ini akak meroyan sensorang cari pw dalam bilik untuk isi e-filing. rasanya dah letak ditempat yang selamat, tapi dah terlampau selamat sampai cari balik pun tak jumpa-jumpa. End up, akak terpaksa la call balik dia punya talian hotline. Nak kena simpan dan tampal kat dahi agaknya pas ni. Anyway, akak dah selamat mengisi e-filing dan internet adalah sangat laju sebab tak ramai yang mengisi nya lagi. Tunggu lagi dah dekat2 deadline, alamatnya traffic jam la website lhdn tu.

Kisah 3: takder hehehe.

Disebabkan pulut santan binasa...

2010-03-16T21:45:00.002+08:00

Pagi tadi mood akak masih elok sehinggalah, ada manusia durjana yang tengah elok2 minum teh tepi akak menegur akak dengan cara yang sangat kurang sedap ditelinga akak. Akak yang tengah membaca ruangan hiburan kat harian metro masa tu, sebenarnya tengah duk baca mengenai budak2 yang layak ke AF8 tahun ni. I mean,salah ke akak membaca nya, bukannya masa tu akak ada menggossip atau mengumpat pasal dia orang. Akak hanya membaca dengan senyap dari paragraf awal hinnga ke akhir., sambil2 tengok jam, sempat ke lagi akak masuk kerja pukul 8.
Tiba-tiba ada lah seorang manusia tu yang terus jek menyeru lantang depan akak " You baca ruangan hiburan tu, takder faedah langsung, those are all bull shits" sambil bersuara dengan sombongnya.
Tahu tak apa perasaan akak ketika dan saat itu. Sangat SENTAP ok....S.E.N.T.A.P!
Akka cuba nak menyambung semula pembacaan akak tapi 'mood' akak dah hilang. Terngiang-ngiang ditelinga akak, kata-kata manusia tersebut yang berbaur sombong semacam. I mean, kalau ye pun nak tegor, boleh tak cakap elok-elok, contohnya.. " dah-dah le baca pasal AF tu'.. takpayah le sambung dengan "tak berfaedah langsung u baca tu"!
Akak baca fakta ok.. bukan ruangan gossip, bukannya akak tengok pun konsert AF tu, tapi apa salahnya akak baca sapa budaak2 yang terpilih tu, mana asal doa, apa pendidikan dia, apa hobi dia.. salah ke? SALAH ke?
Terus akak tutup paper tu sedikit kasar tapi takder la sampai hentak meja as he claimed. Kalau betul2 akak hentak meja, dah lama meja tu terpelanting. Akak bukannya ada kudrat sangat nak hentak2 benda- benda nih.
So terus la akak membisu seribu bahsa sampai ke fakulti. tisu yang akak pegang kat tangan dah akak robek2, carik-carik sampai hancur. Ikutkan nafsu amarah dah akak campak je kat muka dia.
Selalunya kalau hati akak tengah kacau macam tu, ada jek bahu yang akak boleh pinjam, tapi hari ni, sangat sibuk nak marking paper la, students datang jumpa la, macam-macam la sampai akak takder masa nak meluahkan perasaan amarah akak tu.
Banyak benda yang akak rasa boleh tempelak kat 'penegur' tu tapi akak simpan jek dalam hati. Cuma mata jek la berair sepanjang perjalanan tu.
Manusia tu kata akak takboleh terima nasihat orang, tak boleh terima teguran org lain. Itu pun akak tak menjawab. Sebab akak tau kalau akak jawab, akan lain pula jadinya nanti.
Cuma akak pikir, kalau baca ruangan hiburan yang seminngu sekali pun susah tu tak berfaedah.. jadi.. hisap rokok yang dah tentu menghitamkan peparu tu, sampai 4-5 kali sehari tu. berfaedah ke?
Akak boleh teriuma teguran orang tapi kalau nak tegur tu, cermin dulu diri sendiri.. jangan suka hati sahaja sebut "tak berfaedah; kalau diri sendiri pun tak mampu nak quit buat keja yang tak berfaedah...
kan?
sampai la saat ni.. akak masih sentap, dan jangan harap akak nakmintak maaf sebab akak tak rasa akak bersalah. Akak tak hentak pun meja.. dan bukan akak yang cari gaduh. Akak juga tak makan pulut dan akak tak rasa santan yang ditanak dengan pulut tu santan yang masih elok. Santan basi kot...
Sekian.

Haruan Goreng Berlada

2010-03-12T21:55:00.003+08:00

Hari ini akak adalah kempunan. Tak dapat jamah sup haruan dan haruan goreng berlada, lepas syarahan inaugural one of the professor kat dept akak, Akak terpaksa rush ke MATTA fair ( la kunun) untuk mencari tiket ke suatu tempat. hasilnya.. nan adoo. Takder matta fare, normal fare jek ada, baik akak beli online jek cam tu. So inilah yang dinamakan.. yang dikejar tak dapat.. yang dikendong berciciran.. Udah le kat PWTC tu punya la ramai, byk travel agencies yang mengamalkan diskriminasi.. akak dukla tercangak kat kaunter punya la lama, takdernya nak dilayan... ikut hati nak jek buat aduan kat tourism malaysia kat situ gakk..
Akhirnya akak pun balik dengan penuh rasa keciwa.. sebab last matta fair, akak sempat la beli tiket ke kyoto yang hanya separuh harga daripada tiket yang dibeli online. Nampaknya plan akak kurang menjadik tahun ini.
Esok ada simposium lagi kat fakulti untuk 2 hari. The father n the sister are in town. Tak tahu la sempat nak jumpa atau tak sebelum dia org berlepas balik KB semula.
Akak merasakan sungguh bizi sampai tak sempat nak mop lantai rumah minggu ini.
Okeh la. akak nak pi beli tiket online jek la sat gi.
Taaaa...

What I did last week..

2010-03-06T11:23:00.004+08:00

Watched 2 movies in a row.. (walaupun duk complain kije berlambak2.. sampai kena took a break masa tgh2 buat kije.. dengan menge-call sapa2 yang jadi masa untuk me-release kan tension ( eeee.. bahasa akak ni makin terukk)...
tapi tetapp sempat tengok wayang.. berdesup kuar time lunch pas tu sambung balik kije pas abis.. balik kije tetap kul 5... ( well i really have an excellent focus..)
the outcome.. Niyang rapik... story plot lompat sana sini... disebabkan nak masukkan elemen suspen tu.. the director was so eager to include watever scenes without thinking of its continuity.. the motives for each scene was not relevantly supported... well no offence to the director cum producer...
Valentine's day... much better compared to the former mentioned.. even tho it consists of many stories, we can still the connection between each of em. it even has the moral of the story.. It was smoothly narrated..
and this weekend, i am still struggling with the final exam questions.. Next weekend gonna be a hectic one.. marking lagik.. bla bla bla..
owh well.. life is like that I guess..

shoohhhh go away..

2010-02-23T14:11:00.003+08:00

Am having straight lectures from 2 till 7 pm today, hence tis updating.. sebab akak dah sangat mengantuk ni due to the mounds of food that i ve just eaten during lunch ( jamuan , courtesy from a few colleagues). of lates, there are too many tasks queueing up, semuanya nak kena buat at one shot.. tak ke haru tu..
anyway tis is the life i chose.. kang takder kije sangat kan complain jugak.. goyang kaki lama sangat pun bo-sssssan jugak.. manusia ni memang tak pernah bersyukur.. (tetiba..)
anyway, akak nak mula mengatur langkah ke lecture hall yg dekat basement tu hahaha.. nak lalu pun ala2 going thru tunnel dulu...
owh well.. just a short update to overcome my so-called 'narcolepsy'...hopefully the students wont catch the same syndrome.. "dream on" lol
till then...

Of expenses and not being selfish..

2010-02-21T10:46:00.003+08:00

weekend is back to normal. Akak with usual routine. Bangun pagi, bfast ala kadar, sapu rumah ( kalau rajin), mop rumah ( kalau kotor sangat) and bukak sliding door luas2 whlle swinging myself to sleep ( usually i wont la, sebab akak kan mana suka tido siang, kunun.. ). Pas tu kalau lapar, I will make myself simplest lunch using watever ingredients that i d already have at home.
However, while thinking of the last week's chaotic event, akak terasa la akak ni sangat SELFISH because I was like, feeling so relieved to conduct a normal life again tis weekend.
So adakah akak ni memang mementingkan diri sendiri? due to the [normal' life that i ve been leading for 40 years? Seriously, once u r so used of living alone, any abrupt interval will be such a nuisance to me.. ( tapi mengapakah akak rasa akak sangat SELFISH?)
Seriously, I m not proud of myself. Ropernya bukan senang nak berlaku ikhlas in watever things we do. There'd always be a tiny voice in my mind who'd be questioning whether I have done it rite, or its just a waste of money and time for me to do any god deeeds. sangat paranoia ok.. Itu lah.. selalu jek ada bisikan syaitan bila kita nak berbuat amal kan?
Anyway on the other hand, its very easy to just spend your money over unnecessary things ( but on 2nd tot someone has to convince me that it is essential to me).. However I m still contemplating over it till it'd be too late and tengok2 i ve actually spent the money over 'things' boley
So, since nasik dah jadik bubur, I d try to make it fruitful of wat i ve spent.. and yeah.. probbaly I d get to see the effect after let see... the soonest in 3 months time..?
But for the time being, probably i need to cut down my food intake ( yeah rite.. ) and try not to shop too much.. (ok.. no more new blouses and new pants for the next 3 months lol)

Kalau sapu lantai rumah sampai 10 kali sehari adakah maksudnya akak mengalami simtom2 OCD?

2010-02-15T11:06:00.004+08:00

Seriously, akak menjadi sangat rajin mengupadate 2-3 hari ni memandangkan aktiviti akak yang biasa di hari cuti iaitu tido terbongkang di atas sofa sambil tengok tv tidak dapat dilaksanakan berikutan kehadiran tetamu2 kecil kat rumah akak ni. Arakiannya terpaksa la akak mencari hobiain untuk mengisi masa cuti selama 4 hari ini dengan mencari pepenjuru dinding dan membuka laptop sambil mem-bloghopping, walaupun sumpah, aktiviti begini adalah paling tidak digemari tatkala cuti panjang. Akak rela melepak disofa kecik yang hanya boleh memuatkan 2 orang kanak2 sahaja sambil menonton back to back episode siri CSI. Tapi minggu ini akak terpaksa mengorbankan sofa kecik kesayangan akak itu utk orang yang lebih memerlukan huhuhu. (tapi akak rasa cam cuak jek sebab budak2 cam manjang tengok tv jek, ye lah,, anak orang, nak akak tego2 kan.. majuk nak balik rumah anak2 yatim lak kan)... ishhh sesungguhnya akak adalah amatur di dalam bab2 cam ni tau..
Hari Sabtu, akak berjaya goreng mee hoon untuk lunch, dan rasanya menjadi kegemaran ramai kot sebab akak bagi dorang makan sampai malam hahaha ( tak senonoh tul). Lpeas tu pagi semalam akak goreng segala frozen food yang ada dalam fridge, pas tu bfast makan roti dan butter jek.. tengahari akak pegi tesco carikan baju barang 1-2 helai untuk budak2. Seriously, akak nengok dorang ni pakai baju cam tangkap muat jek. Baju kurung yang boleh isi seoranmg budak lagi..Yang herannya tak nampak pun dorang letak panties dalam bakul baju kotor tu...Akak sangat musykil jugak tu.. adakah diaoramg pakai panties yang sama berhari2? ( eeuuww tak sanggup akak nak tanya).. so kesudahanya, akak belikan panties, baju tidur, baju jalan dan sandals untuk diaorang. pagi tadi kitaorang turun bawah bfast kat kedai mamak, dah bergaya sakan la dorang dengan baju yg dibeli semalam tapi yg tak berapa sedap mata memandangnya, dorang still pakai tudung yang dah al-ala telekung sembahyang gayanya. Nak tego, karang takut kecik hati pulak... ( bukannya akak ni nak cakap akak ni orang bandar, pandai bergaya, tapi zaman akak muda remaja dulu, kalau akak tak berapa pandai berpesyen, nak mix n match ni.. ada jek la yang tolong tego kan cakap pakai cam ni tak seswai. ) Ala mak akak dulu memang cukup trendy per.. dia la yang menjadi penasihat fesyen utk akak cewahhhh hahaha.
Itu lah.. susah juga nak menego anak orang ni ghoopernyaaa yob..
Entah la.. adik akak dah tepon katernya nak ngambik akak dan anak2 pi rumah dia. Kita org nak bbq tengah hari ni.. biasa la sambut tahun baru cina hehehe.
By the way, 2-3 hari ni akak feeling2 cam mak2 org , iya lah.. selalunya akak basuh baju seminggu sekali jek, nih hari2 duk mesin baju.. sapu lantai pun 10 kali sehari.. ala budak2.. sikit2 suka beno nak makan kuaci pastu buat sampah kat lantai.. akak nak tego karang.. takut kecik hati ( eeee manjang akak ni nak kena pikir cam ni).. so selang 1/2 jam la akak duk mop lantai dapur, sapu lantai kat hall.. cam dah OCD plak rasanya.. hahahah (kalau tak mak akak ni.. nesti dia bangga, anak dia dah jadi pembersih cam dia hahahah)
Akak taktau la perassan depa ni camna.. iya lah.. entah2 sekali ni jek diaorang nak datang sini.. serik dah pas ni hahahaa.. tapi yang akak sukerrr sangat ngan budak2 ni.. masuk waktu jek terus solat tak payah nak menjerit2 nak suruh dorang solat.. Alhamduliilah bab2 ni tak perlu nak ajar.. dorang dah ajar yg elok2 kat rumah anak2 yatim tu..( anak buah akak kalau bab2 solat ni memang selalu buat tak ingat.. nak rotan pun.. mak bapak dia sendiri pun tak wat cam tu..)
Kadang0kadang terdetik jugak di hati akak yang selfish ni... rasa macam " ishh dah 40 tahun hiduo sorang, ada budak2 ni cam menyusahkan la.. " heeee trak senonoh tau hati jhat akak nih.. Tapi itu la.. akak kan dah berazam, tahun ni, resolusi akak adalah memperbanyakkan amaln dan mengurangkan pembaziran. ( iyalah.. selalu akak shopping bagak utk diri sendiri pas tu akak rasa menyesal sebab membazir..) tapi akak belanja utk dorang semalam, alhamdulliah akak tak rasa cam tu...Tengok keaddan rumah dorang yang terpaksa berhimpit2 untuk tidur, dengan kemudahan yang ala kadar tu.. akak rasa insaf. Akak cakap kat anak buah.. camna ye.. kalau kita masa kecik2 dulu terpaksa duk cam ni.. mesti asyik memberontak jek.. semua kena kongsi.. Iya lah.. akak ni pun ramai adik beradik, akak kan anak ke 5 dari 7 org adik beradik, maaa kecik2 dulu pun kena kongsi jugak.. tapi takle sampai kena share sampai 30 orang sekali. Dengan ruang yang sempit lagik.. Ada 3 orang adik beradik ni, semua lelaki ( yang paling kecik 4 tahun)dihanyar ke RAAY sg Manggis tu daripada Jabatan Kebajikan. Bapak diorang asyik duk bagi anak2 kat orang pas tu mintak duit Eventually jadi kes polis, dan budak2 tu pun.. dah serik , Dorang takut nak jumpa orang, takut orang akan ambik dia cam dulu2..Bila ramai orang datang melawat , terus masuk rumah sembunyi.. Kesiankan.. baru 4 tahun tapi dah trauma cam tu...
Akak nak kena pegi dulu.. Esok budak2 dah nak balik... lepas ni rumah akak sunyi balik.. Siri akak bercakap dengan dinding akan disambung balik hahaha...

2 orphans and a niece

2010-02-13T08:50:00.002+08:00

Yes, I am not home alone today, there are 3 guests today, 3 girls yang kesemuanya masih duk terbongkang tak bangun2 lagi whilst me, the efficient lady ( ewahh!) has been awake since 7 am, took a bath, washing all my clothes while watching sonata labu labi 3 in astro... hahaha
I m feeling so uneasy tho, as I ve been so alone all the time.. i do wat i want to do, and today , i have 2 guests who only muttered a few words to me since last nite and a niece (tats an exception as she has known me since she was a baby)
I am not sure whether wat I did yesterday was rite, I mean.. its not easy to develop some kind of motherly love after an hour's conversation rite.. and I m not that ... u know... very motherly in person.. ( exception again to all the dozens of nieces n nephews of mine)..
I cant even suggest them to call me ibu.. ( hahah tat's wat i have in mind).. I mean do i have a right to ask them to call me that, and ishhh. im having problem to befriend 2 kids with the age range of 9-15. I mean.... i m not going to ask them to stay wth me forever kan.. and its even difficult to invite the youngest sister to come and stay with me for 4 days... well she was ok for the first few minutes and later on she started shaking her head.. do i look like a terrible person whom can scare the kid... ( where the hell is the psychoanalyst when i most need em la?)..
and why the hell i feel so unsecured in a sudden? I do not have to make any effort to make them like me rite,, I shud be as wat I am before.. dont have to impress anyone rite.. (wahhhh i m a very confused lady today hahahah)
I mean hello akakkkk.. they r only kids... why do u have to be so worried... (but yeah I am dementedly worried.. as I have no experience with any kids before.. I dun have a kid on my own.. neither motherly instinct...).
What if they dont like me and start comparing wth the guardian from the orphanage... and why suddenyly i feel some responsibiliies has been thrown onto my shoulder where as all these while i live for myself.. never thot of anybody else.. is that a good thing or wat?....huwaaaaaaa..
this is very new to me la.. and for God sake akakkkkk.. this is only a temporary.. u r not gonna see then next week.. and probably u d get to me them in another few months... ( wahh I m feeling so cruel la pulak)...Sapa suruh ko gatai nak berangkat- angkat kan? huhuhuhu
Gila kentang punya orang hahahaha.. ( akak la tu...)
ok la.. I m trying my best to adapt to this situation.. will do my best... )even tho i m suck in cooking).. so dorang akan makan kat luar jek la hahahah..
wokeh.... poi sidai kain dulu... will update later about them..
now am gonna be a good 'mom' and wake them up.. ( uishh kalau anak akak sendiri.. dah lama dah membebel ni..)..
see.. there're hindrances that prevent me from acting like a real mom.. cos I m not sure whether they like it or not if i act like one...
waaaahhh payahhhh nyaaaa...
pergi makan nasik lemak dulu la.. kot2 dapat idea... hahahha

Belok berlengkar...

2010-02-12T14:29:00.003+08:00

I have a 'ttm' who will always criticize of whatever term that i use in my daily conversation, especialy when i communicate with him. For eg: me: jam giilerr hari ni., kenapa ek? Him: can you please try not to use 'giler' in your conversation.. me: tampo kang bersepai karang ( dalam hati jekkkk)..
seriously, as I can be easily influence with all the terms that they include in their blogwritings, for instance, i'd somehow, will not purposely include em in my conversation.. as if im trying to expand my vocab ( la konon)..
some other words ie tak boleh blahh . ( which i do not specifically understand wat i means )or something sounds like sungguh hampehh..
I have no problem with people using those 'in' terms.. however i have him who will try to grammatically correct my so called language.. ( sangat geram di situ.. )
There was one situation, he even criticized this one radio ad. regarding faizal tahir's statement..cannot totally remmebr waht he said.. but this fella did mention something like this "Walaupun saya menyanyikan lagu rock dan berjiwa rock, tapi saya masih suka lagu tangkap lelehhh.." which brought some kind of anger to him when he listened to the dialogue.. and there he went with " apa tangkap leleh.. ada ke maksud tangkap leleh tu dalam kamus DBP bla bla bla"
Ihave to admit, I m not good in writing a proper malay.. i tend to combine watever terms that i read in a blog.. ( i have to say there's not many blog who practise proper malay writing... most of them wrote the cacamarba words in it ( like me)..
On other note, I had a tiff with him again this morning, when i gave him a direction to go to UPm while passing by the PKNS Complex.. " sampai depan sana traffic light, u belok kanan".. yes, I said belok, which is a common word for me, and i m 110% sure you can find it in any Malay-english dictionary..
But he say it was weird to hear someone said 'belok",while adding that the last time he heard the word, it was like more than 10 years ago, when he had a conversation with a Singaporean malay.
and I said belok is totally a malay word no matter what region we r from..
and then he asked, why don't u say pusing instead.. so I ansered, no pusing is only when u ask a person to pusing like a 180 degree nya action of moving.. but belok is like u do an action by turning 90 degree.. boley?
see.. i ve related it wth some mathematical or more like geographical lattitude or longitude...
still he was not satified.. he kept asking why.. andthere i was throwing him an acrid remarks.. 'that is because you dont have that many friends that u can converse with" U do not give direction to others instead u drive sendiri ikut kepala u which eventually resulted of u sesat bagak... " luckily he forgot to fuss about my bagak term heheh
i wish i can initiate another fury.. by saying gila kentang la u ni... serve him rite kan... lol
anyway.. happy holiday... and yes, I d be hibernating at home for 4 days... am fetching a niece at banting in an hour and probably take a short visit to an orphanage at sungai manggis later on..
GONG XI Fa Cai....

Tak perlu tajuk.. buat semak je

2010-02-06T10:45:00.004+08:00

Hari ini hari Sabtu bersamaan 6 hb Februari 2010. Dan akak rasa cam nak ber-entry la plak hari ni, besides all the laziness and the tots of how much time u spent writing an entry. More than an hour ok.. walaupun untuk entry yang ciput.. serious.. tat's why akak pikir 2-3 kali kalau nak post entry kat opis.. as I feel like I can do other better things ie tulis report ke.. marking paper ke kalau kat opis..
Taaaapiii.. kalau kat rumah tu lain la kan... as i have thousands and thousand of minutes of free time kat rumah... and then I ll have another notion.. of spending my free time at home by sleeping ke.. tengok tv ke.. rather than on my laptop and updating my blog.. (cess ada jek ngko alasan yekk).. tapi serious.. i cant imagine how all these blooger tegar can write like 3-4 entries/day... and can spend like hours to upload piccas etc.. sebab akak tak bolehhh okkkkkk ( walaupun zaman muda temaja dulu.. akak adalah chatter tegar whom can spend whole day to chat wth strangers..) tapi sekarang tidak lagi... sebab akak kan dah tua.. chatting2 bagai tu sudah tidak sesuai lagi okehhh..
Another thing, blogger tegar juga suka confide watever feelings inside them into writings and blogs are such a good medium.. tapi itu la walaup blog akak ni takder pun org baca tapi akak rasa cam tak sampai hati nak curahkan segala perasaan akak kat sini.. well there are time that i feel like venting out ( cam pagi tadik.. akak rasa sangat disappointed sgt becaouse pusat KOKO didnt invite me to be come as one of the facis for the next FS.. despite of my aplication form yang akak hantar awal.. tapi dorang tak panggil akak ( and i suspect this is due to the not so good evaluation from the previous students in my group, walaupun akak yakin dorang bagi evaluation bagus, tapi sebab numbering yang cam mengkonpiuskan dorang yg eventually evlauation facis tu dorang isi number yang lain la..) im very sure of dat.. tapi itu la... (macam kes nak sedapkan hati je).. of course we cannot depend on the students' evaluation kan.. tapi betul la i m not a good faci kot.. prev sem mine was above 4.5 pre...there goes my budget for jogja trip.... huwaaaaa..
See.. i managed to let my hair down a bit gak kat sini kan....
Im bringing back works from the office... gigih nak buat kije kat rumah untuk merawat hati yang lara...
I know i lead a mundane life nowadays.. pegi balik kije during weekdays.. and no excitement during weekend due to my hibernating life style.. am too lazy to visit siblings as my bro yg sorang tu asyik la pi outstation.. the nephews r too bz ( bz main PS) to attend their lone auntie... so i d rather stay at home instead.. at least duk rumah leh gak la shed off a few calories dengan membasuh pinggan mangkuk, perati the picabot vacuuming for me by controlling the remote, sidai kain angkat kain...etc.. ( yes its stil mundane jows for a few)
I dun even go back for CNY.. cos i tot there'd be unsurprised event occur at that time,, tapiiii na n ado.. which actually add more salt to my wound..seroiously I think i m such a fialure for a lotof things.. ( but im not revealing myself la.. katerr blog is not the media for confiding.. hahhaaha)
and also I have a few procrastinating task... due to my... ermm.. lacking skill of driving... nak gi mana2 on weeeknd harus laaaaaa pikir 10 kali (or more) whether i have the gut to ask other favours from my weekday driver... tambah2 plak kat area sg chua ni agak segan untuk menapak ke depan naik cab.. and of course i know they r gonna charge me likeeee.. waaayy more than the normal fare...
Im making myself bz-ier.. tapi tu la.. dah nature manusis.. dah bz complain la plak... pas tu dah byk sangat free.. complainnn jugakkkkkk...
so akak think.. im gonna sit down silently, watching AFC kat astro, drooling over the food ( tapi nak masak malas) while typing my report... I need an extra budget for the jogja trip ni.. i need watever works that wud give me some extra income.. ( except for stripping2 and whoring)..
ok la.. dah more than 30 mins already... ciao..

Knock.. knock

2010-01-08T12:33:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. Its Friday.. the 2nd weekend of the year..
am spending too much money for houseehold items.. which .. on 2nd tot, I think its a need to buy em.. ( due to my lazybones syndrome).. but on anthr tot.. why am i spending like i am the Bung Mukhtar's 2nd wife (oopsss) daughter? ( motif masuk nama Bung Mukhtar kat sini? hahaha)
but then ok la.. now i have time to 'swing' while watching tv ala2 menyanyi lagu ikan kaloi.. while listening to the vacuum.. doing its work without any supervisory of the house owner... well.. its gonna be very soothing to the ears from now on without me having to sweat sampai ke ketiak.. heheh
owh well...
rather be a reader than a writer..
yes i would.. if i only could... i'd surely would..

Hi 2010, adios 2009..

2009-12-31T12:42:00.003+08:00

hmm.. so in less than 24 hours, we re going to step in the year of 2010. At tis time of the year, ie a year ago, i was still recuperating from post-cystectomy. and within less than 3 weeks, i was back on the road, as it was not a perfect time to extend my medical leave. The new semester started a week after i underwent my surgery.
So this year, while i reminescence over the events which occured exactly a year ago,( not many tragic events tho, Thank God), I m also looking forward to seeing some positive changes in my life.. well, call it as resolutions or wateva..
and at tis hour, next year, i d probably look back over the things that happened to me throughout this year.. heh
Compared to year 2008, my health condition is improvising, except for the earlier months, which i was forced to undergo the rituximab therapy (yeah, darn u Dr S.. hahaha ( motif tetiba mencarut!) It didnt even make me better instead. The only good thing that i gained from it is, i managed to put off a few extra kgs and up till now, the weight is still in good control ( still thinking of reducing a few kg perhaps, and no, it wont be under my new year resolution list tho)
anyway, on lighter note, with the year 2010 coming, I m wishing for the good healths of me , my parents and the rest of thefamily, another trip to any overseas country + perform an umrah as well, adopting one of the child in Rumah anak yatim (in the process of doing it now)..and last but not least, dimurahkan rezeki so dat i can share my earning with the ones who r less fortunate. Amin...
I dun ask much.. do i... hehehe
Welcome 2010..

HariRaya Korban

2009-11-27T04:59:00.003+08:00

Eid-ul-adha. today.
Selamat berkorban...
Selamat pegang ekor lembu..
Make sure not to stay too close with it when it is about to be sacrificed..
Dah sah sah lembu tu jadi tunggangan kita ke syurga kan...(kalau dapat masuk syurga la), tapi mine cuma baru separuh ekor jek baru.. nak kena tunggu lagi 2-3 kali raya aji la kot hehehe..
anyway.. happy feasting.. makan secara moderate je.. *akak cuit2 jek nanti pasal keadaan kesihatan tak mengizinkan untuk membedal *.... wahhh ayat...
am leaving to KB in a few minutes... will arrive around 8 ish.. insyaalah....
will be back on tuesday morning... bye

The true meaning of eid-ul-adha

2009-11-26T20:09:00.004+08:00

Guess wat? I m still in Kajang, tho raya haji adalah bermula esok Went to work yesterday, * ya akak adalah sangat rajin, sampai pakcik driver tego, why dun u take a leave, apasal rajin sangat?* membuatkan akak rasa cam nak ketuk jek kepala beliau, tapi as I m already in festive mood, akak biar kan saja la.
I managed to finish a few pending works, such as, submitted the buku profil frgs to sofia , and also submitted abdah's proposal (4 copies of em) to RMC thru sofia, and last but not least, completed my basic entrepeneurship ISO file in econ fac, ahaaa sempat jugak completed the MASTIC's R&D online survey.
Akak sungguh happy, dalam tempoh masa yang singkat, akak sempat menghabiskan begitu byk kije yang 'pending' walaupun keadaan fakulti yang amat sunyi, hanya dipenuhi oleh akak2 indon dan abg2 bangla cleaners saja. Owh, by the way, harapan akak untuk ambik GL for the next gynae's clinic appt adalah hampa sebab semua pegawai tadbir telah bercuti, jadi tiada siapa yg boleh sign GL akak. *memang dorang semua meriah jek bercuti sehari sebelum raya haji' tanpa memikirkan keperluan staf akademik cam akak ni yang memerlukan bantuan mereka di saat2 akhir *wahh.. am i complaining*
anyway, akak cabut around 1 lepas hantar ISO forms kat FEP and later gigih ke Alamanda untuk pegi tukar baju * eksen beli baju yg one size smaller than empunya body, hasilnya terpaksa tukar and pilih baju lain*
So esok, early in the morning , I m going back to my hometown. Hopefully sempat la pi menunggu kat kandang lembu esok. *hm,, i wonder wat's the menu for tomorrow's feast la, adakah.. roti jala dan kuzi ayam, as way my sis has hinted?*
On another story, .. my mom has a group of makcik friend which live in the rural area of Kelantan. When i said rural, I mean it'sa place where I ve never been before and i think it is miles and miles from the main road. Alkisahnya, this group of makcik, * i called them mom's best friend ' cos they ll come to my house like a few times in a year. I think they have been coming for several years already as the group of 5-6 person has eventually reduced to 2 now, as the rest of them have passed away. *I think they have started coming while i was still doing my masters, if im not mistaken and tat was like 12 yaears ago*
so this 2 makciks, they came from exteremly poor families, which u can realte with a proverb of *kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang* kekdahnya. The only time they are able to eat meat us during raya haji , can u imagine. Its just like, while we re stuffing our gut with big Mac la, beef steak bagai , any food with meat product based everytime, meat is stil considered as luxurious dish for them.
So every raya haji,they will come as early as they cud, which involves of they walked all the way from bus station to my house ( its quite far, for me, cos kalau naik kereta pun it's like a 10 min drive* and from their houses tu nak ke main road adalah juga kena berjalan kaki, and sometimes they took *kereta sewa* to go to KB.
Usually daging korba tun, bila dah sampai rumah, we just gave everything to them, cuma ambik sedikit jek untuk buat makan kat rumah, the rib, tail, meat and all the internal organ semua kita org bagi kat makcik2 tu..
last year, we had 2 portions of daging kurban and we gave it all to them as one portion of my sis's tu dia dah niat sebagai nazar. They had a feast at their kampung with our portions of daging korban, and to know that our small gift such as daging korban will bring such joy to them.. its priceless.
Yet, we always hear people complaining about the food that some restaurants served are not palatable at all, but do we realize that many of us cant even have 3 meals/ day. tu pun dah cukup baik kalau boleh makan nasik 2 kali sehari bertemankan lauk ikan bilis, telor dan kicap jek......*sebak plak tetiba*
Itu la, by knowing thse makciks, sekurang2nya boleh membuat maknusia cam akak ni insap sat * sat jek ke*. Dorang selalu gak ajak my mom pegi tengok kampung dorang yang considered daif tu.. makcik tu dah tua.. and cucu2 dia pun duk ngan dia as the father pun sekadar buat kije2 kampung jek.
akak ni kan.. kalau ada rezeki lebih , insyaalah, nak korban jek sekor lembu kat kg tu and sedekahkan semuanya.MY mom kata, kalau kita dah ada niat cam tu, insyaalah Allah permudahkan la rezeki kita tu.
owh, last ramadhan, makcik2 tu pun datang, and usually a few days after raya pun dorang datang. Masa ramadhan tu dorang selalu datang mintak zakat, dan kita org mula kenal pun sebab tu lah. masa tu my mom ada lebihan masak lemak sayur kat rumah, so she offered to the makciks tu la. Suka sangat dia org while praising my mom, sambil duk cakap.. makan lauk sedap la kita buka posa nanti.. when i listened to my mom narrating the story, i wept in silence. Imagine, lauk2 lebihan tu pun bagi mereka, adalah amat sedap dah... kalau kita tak abis.. ke tong sampah je kan...?
lately my mom, gave everything that we dont want in the house to them. Pinggan mangkuk la, periuk belanga la, my dad's used shirts.. err last time, my mom gave my brassieres ( its not used ok,akak tak pakai bcos i m not comfortable wearing em and surprisingly makcik2 tu nak ambik. * heran gak, size dorang sama ke ngan my size? hahahaah* Makcik tu agaknya main redah jek kot. well if u r in their shoes, u wont be fussy la kan. Sama macam kat drama tu, makan jek leftovers kat restoran...
As for me, knowing all these unfortunate people in this world, make me realized that, why dun we share, at least a tiny portion of wat we have with them. I mean, if we can afford buying those expensive cat's food to your pet ( for instance la), why cant u just donate at least one small packet of rice or 1 kg of sugar to those poors... kan?
and of course la, in this hustle and bustle of KL city, its very rare to find such people, but kalau Tv3 boleh jumpa all these kinda ppl and aired them in bersama mu.. apasal lak we cannot make effort to find them. at least we can start with a baby step of sadaqah our daging korban to them first...
well.. can we?

Kyoto Trip

2009-11-22T12:04:00.004+08:00

more pics from Kyoto trip. ada lebih 300 keping from my camera.. yg dorang punya camera.. beratus2 lagi... they have put in their facebook.. akak ada lah malas utk mengeluarkan camera.. ni pun ambik sebab tourist guide tu yg offer snap kan..advantages of going with friends.. byk la gambo.. kalau sensorang.. confirm mmg takder pic..

depan palace apa ntah.. but this is the location that they shot last samurai.. alaaa yg ada tom cruise tu kan... tak masuk pun,, due to limited of time..main snap snap pas tu blah..abis.. book tourist guide with the mpv pun 2 jam jek..mana nak makan tempura lagi kann

belakang lorong haji taib.. opss... belakang rumah org.. tapi sgt bersih maaaa..

ni dalam misi mengejar geisha @ geiko .. kat kampung geisha.. its very rare to see them in the middle of the afternoon.. as they are very timid.. ada la sorang yg kita nampak.. tapi bila dorang nampak kita.. mencicit dorang lari.. tak sempat nak ambik gamba

sempat lagi posing dalam subway.. as our hotel is the last stop in the route, so chances we have seats kat dalam subway ada lah sangat cemerlang. It took 20 mins from our place to Kyoto. so amatla bosan sbb bukan stay kat city.. bilik pun kat underground, nampak concrete jek kat luar tingkap.. malam2 bunyi crickets amatlah kuat

depan hotel.. its a 4 star hotel tapi lobby is not as grand as wat we have in Malaysia.. its the quality that matters for them,,tengok.. nama hotel crested kat dinding pun tak berapa nak nampak..

Sudah terlalu lama...

2009-11-22T11:08:00.006+08:00

*sapu sawang jap*
It's been too long... pejam celik pejam celik.. semester dah berakhir minggu lepas..
markah dah bagi... kursus dah pergi.. sekarang.. menimbun-nimbun kerja yang masih lagi 'pending' , tergendala dek kursus PTK seminggu...
masa tu la nak audit bagai.. masa tu la segala mak nenek grant bukak.. masa tu la nak isi KM portal... yang bertembung lak ngan raya haji.. * which is .. kalau tak balik raya.. kiranya akak ni cam dah kena buang negeri la*
So ambik la jugak cuti barang sehari.. *nasib raya jatuh hari jumaat*, tu pun balik di pagi raya *yang tak der la shahdu cam pagi raya aidilfitri* orang2 kat airport tu cam rilek saja pun time raya aji..
Makanya.. cam pelik laplak tetiba update blog pagi minggu... *nampak cam takder kije la sgt.. actually gas masak baru abis.. so chances nak masak utk makan tghari dah jadi 0, malas nak menapak kat kedai depan suh hantar gas'..
Assisgnments PTK yang tiga tu masih ada dalam beg.. dari jumaat lepas berhurray sebab finally abis gak kursus yang menensenkan tu *walaupun PTK dah kurikulum baru, exam dah takder.. cuma ada komponen fungsional which they have translated it as assignments *tapi tetap soalan cam exam gak* and komponen generik which include 1 kertas refleksi, public speaking ngan individual presentation.. abis jek public speaking rasa cam abis segala masalah.. ibaratnya..
So tunggu-tunggu jek la.. maybe isnin baru nak tengok balik assignment mana yang nak ditulis.. deadline submission is on 7/12. sempat la juga nak pegang ekor lembu kat kampung .. and if there is a chance.. pi Pengkalan Kubor survey high end imitation designer handbag there? hehehehe...nak beli yang original yang ribu riban cam sayang la plak nak perabiskan.. baik gunakan utk menda yang perlu ... at least high endnya imitation wont go more than 1k..
I ve been making plans for the next year's agenda.. well part of em la.. Looks like for the next sem's courses.. it's gonna be a whole lot... *bila la boleh ambik cuti sabatikal ni*
last but not least.. i m attaching a few pics taken from the previous trip to Kyoto.. the city is tremendously clean.. parit kat belakang rumah punya la jernih air dia.. cam boleh jek wat minum air dia.. the smokers over there even keep their cig ash in their own tiny container before throwing em into the dustbin when they found one.. and the elders.. whom r 60-70 yrs of age even walk faster than me.. which is amazing.. tgk dorang takder pun mengah2 naik bukit.. rileks jek...

/>posing kat atas tangga kat temple mana tah.. the only temple that we managed to go.. tak koser nak pi semua temples which scattered all over Kyoto

/>me n my master student kat depan temple.. the japanese duk tibai cakap japan ngan dia.. thinking that she's one of them

it was raining when we first arrived in Kyoto.. te next day pun ujan renyai2. so ala2 posing ngan payung while exploring the nearby area di pagi hari..

the room..quite big cos we have separate dressing room and toilet and wardrobe.. up to european standard size la jugak..
/>
Kyoto sky.. taken in JR Haruka Express on the way to KYoto.. it took 2 hrs to reach Kyoto from the airport.. somebody left his wallet kat dalam train and we only realized it masa nak turun train.. but kita org tengok jek la.. cos kyoto is the last station and the management will surely keep it bfore the person report the loss.. kat sana tak der org yg sebuk ambik kesempatan nak curi ke apa if we accidentally left our wallet in the train..

updating...

2009-09-10T12:53:00.002+08:00

dah sekian lama tak post any new entry. Ever since i came back from Kyoto, i was way too bz, dgn classes nya, exams nya. clerical worksnya, auditsnya... co-curricular activities-nya ( which i actually earned a few extra thousands, wat belanja raya )-itu bz cari sendiri tu.
and my life is too routine.. especially bulan puasa ni.. balik 4.30, masak ala kadar, cant wait to watch wadi unung ( tteiba jadi addicted lak dgn citer tu), pas tu buka, pas tu kemas, pas tu solat, pas tu kul 10 tido, esok bangun sahor lak, mandi2 terus pi kije, pas tu tersengguk2 kat opis, kalau takder kelas pagi... and it has been going on for 20 days already di bulan puasa ni.
Keinginan nak buka posa kat luar pun semakin merudum, sbbnya .. ala makan sekadar utk mengisi perut jek kan.. but i really missed buka posa ramai2 ngan family. last weekend wnet to my bro's at KD, syok la sekejap sbb boleh buka posa ramai2 n terawih sama2.. balik Kajang semula.. pandang la dinding balik..
Btw, am going back on monday nite.. haaa gigih bercuti awal sebab dah tadak tiket flite and coming back on 29th.. i think I d be the one yg paling lama cuti raya kat kg tu hahaha..
My sis's maid larik pa ssahur a few days ago.. i pitied my mom yang dah berapa kali kena berdepan ngan maids yg buat dia sakit hati dan makan hati sampai dah jadik kurus sejak belum posa lagi..
I wish i cud ask them both datang jek kat sini.. duk goyang kaki, but being mom, mana betah duk rumah org.. with my sister's baby yg she has to take care of.. ( sbb ada org gaji dia tak harap), and being her, kalau badan penat, makan pun tak lalu.
Taktau la ak cakap apa.. tiba -tiba rasa sayu lak bila ingatkan dia.. ( wah makcik emosional tetiba...)
tah le....

Updating....

2009-07-23T13:30:00.002+08:00

Yes, it was a month ago since i updated my blog. and it's been a month since the students came in , and akak masih terkial-kial dgn clas schedule yangtak tentu hala.. ( yes, this is the 3rd week dah) and ada satu kelas tu, i kept on changing dia nya class schedule because....the students cant make it on those slots, so akak terpaksa memerah otak so that they r able to attend for every class, bukannya attend ikut turn.. bley?
it was not my job to reschedule ke apa ke, tapi itu la.. since those meant students r from Medical faculty, in their 1st clinical year plak tu, so their supervisor suka ati jek la panggil dorang anytime even tho those slots are already scheduled for my class..
tapi ntah la.. malas nak ckp lagi... the course pun , it's not from the fac, in fact it's from other fac. ikut ati malas rasanya nak ajar, howeversince i was told to teach, so .. akak ajar la.. not my niche area pun....
other than that, akak ok sajork. I gotta teach and coordinate an elective course, supervise 5 undergrad students for their final year project, and having this huge problem of terminating an iranian post doc who hasnt performed at all. This makcik, has the gut to go to the top people in this university, trying to appeal as she 's the innocent party and i was the bad one who can simply terminate her. After all the chaos that she has created, including the soxhlet extractor that she claimed she accidentally broke it, I finally decided that it has to be ended. and terminating her, is the best solution ( even tho giving 3 montsh prior notice wont give any benefit to the univ), as she 'd simply get 3 montsh alary withour doing anything when she's known that she's been terminated.
Akak pun malas nak berkata apa lagi.. the onlything that I knew is she's one big liar... harap muka jek cun tapi pembohong besar... i shudnt have taken her in the 1st place..
on happier note... despite the hectic schedule and all, I managed to have a sorta break cum overseas conference trip again. Its the time of the year anyway.
last year I managed to go to Athens, andthe year before to Austria, and before that to Washington, this year, despite the H1N1 pandemic, i have set my mind to proceed for the Kyoto trip which i d be leaving this weekend. me and 4 other post grad students from my fac. so, the good thing i wont be alone this time
well moshi moshi Kyoto.....

P.S getting back to work..

Time and tides wait for no man

2009-06-26T13:38:00.004+08:00

How time flies. We are at the end of June already. feels like yesterday, I went back to hometown, gigih makan dan gigih tempah baju raya nanti.. and it was only a few weeks ago...
Ever since i came back.. akak was extremely occupied, ngan TOTs which were held at Cyberview lodge and Marriot Putrajaya, gigih lagi makan makan dan makan.. and tis afternoon i m heading to Seri Malaysia, Bagan Lalang for a 2 days retreat cum department workshop. ( makan lagi tu kan.... )
The new students are registering tis wkdn and the old ones will be coming back next week.. After tis, I wont have any more free time for myself...
Somehow, I was wondering, wat have i been doing for the past 2 months, seems like i never managed to 'produce' anything, or to complete anything. it was half way done.. ( as usual), and suddenly i feel so disappointed to myself.
Why cant i be productive like others. ( who can publish their articles more than 10, who can do other thi9ngs like putting their final touch to their research, or gaining anothr few grants for the research) . Why cant i just be like that?
Its not that i spend lotsa time 'vaining' on my FB ( yg cam seminggu skali pun malas der aku nak update) or complaining how i ve been doing in my blog and waiting for ppl to comment... I suppose i ddidnt spend too much time on internet btw, but where are all the hours gone..
Why cant i manage my time like others? Tim kai.. Pour quoi...?
On not so serious note...
I think i m doing just fine ( pulak)
except for the imaginary curtains that r supposd to be hanged on the windows at my abode.. and some tiny items that i keep on forgetting to purchase...
I think I d be fine...
not to forget, except for a bifollicle cysts which have decided to appaear again in my ovary...
I think I m gonna be just fine for the next 10 years...

Mode menghapdet ala kadarrr

2009-06-03T16:03:00.004+08:00

Waduhhh.. ampun... bersawang banget ini belog... kapan empunya belog mahu updetkann? ( oii update kot indon apa ekk)...( tetiba mode ngomong indon sebab satu hari akak duk google citer si manohara tu, ketinggalan jaman upanya nona manis neh ( akak le tuhh.. cet pasann)...
.............
..........
ok back to my old self... i was not in the working mood previously. besides, i have these pain just below my abdomen again. Not sure whether the endometriosis has struck back, or is it an infection at my urethra.. i m opting for the latter...or if worst come to worst, i suspect it's my kidney... well i dunnola, esok pi jumpa my rheumy, i ll tell him abt it, ( or risking myself of being admitted once i told him my prob, as i ll be on leave for a week at my hometown.... akak pasrah aje lahhh)
This is my last day of puasa ganti. suker sukerr... tho i m still worried abt this continuous pain.. it made me me uncomfortable, well not to the extent of me meraung2 bagai like i did when i had series of renal colic last time..
Uwahhh sangat penat.. ( tetiba....)

...... ( tgh tahan sakit...)

breathe in.. breathe out.. akak....
.........

..............

anyway on happier note...
I wud be in KB from 5th to 12th... the first 2 days will be allocated for a visit to HKB and HUSM, visiting my students who'r doing the practicals there...
the rest, hmmm... makan tido makan tido... owhh.. tak lupa.. paying a visit to the duty free shops in rantau Panjang... *nak beli corelle.. nak beli corelle...* tetiba...
Promised my eldest sis to pay a visit to her new house in Tanah Merah.. owh btw big bro will be back too along wth the family.
...... Hish.. tetiba tulis itinerary ni.. pasalll?

Well.. last but not least ( motif tetiba ilang mode nak berblog).. I d be back after one week... with a big grin on my face.... ( sebab dah lama tak balik kg... sebab... gua sebenarnya dah letih duk KL nih...... -(mode tersampuk)..and (mode insaf)-- please dun grumble.. emangnya kamu itu apa?
.....

.....
(pengsan)..
Ciao..

and he is my idol now..

2009-05-18T08:46:00.004+08:00

I was at Eagle Ranch Resort last weekend, from friday to sunday, attended a "compulsory" course/program for the lecturers who are less or 5 yrs in service. We did not hold any outdoor activities or any teambuilding games as wat Eagle Ranch is famous for, It is a place for adventurous people, not for me who is unable to do any physical activities.
So since it was my first time there. I was hoping that at least i wil have some enjoyable moments over there with some nice sceneries to feast my eyes with.. or the sounds of birds n eagles chirped/howled will be a soothe to my ears.
Well, it was not a nice start, i have to say. First, well.. they put me in a 'kampung house' on the 2nd floor and to go there, i have to walk a bit far, crossing a man made bridge and climbed a flight of stairs before reached the destination. I sweated all the way back to the registration place , as i have decided to ask them to change my abode to the nearest one and the most important thing, the one that is on the ground level. Yes, i managed to change it.
The hall is located far from our abodes, and since the day is always sunny with extreme heat and the sun block that i applied to my face was not that strong to block the uv rays penetrated directly to my skin, i sweated again when i went to n fro.
Frankly speaking it was not a suitable place to hold this kind'f programme. the food wasnt tat tasty as well.
However the best thing came outta this programme, we had the best lectures from the great motivators. One of the spekaers, I have decided that he;s gonna be my idol from now on. Forget Tun Mahathir, Jason Mraz or Britney Spears(oopss) for the time being..
he 's the one who managed to make my eyes watery for a couple of times during his speech, and i was so engrossed with his talk that i forgot to close my mouth and blink for 2hours and 45 minutes. yes, it was such a good talk, while he reminiscense over his past life, the past gaiety, my mind was automatically tried to relate things that somehow felt so similar with the one he narrated.. I tried to not to burst into tears.. It was like something has awaken up.. the one that has been put into dormant for such a long time.. as i tried to ignore it all these while..
maybe this is wat i need.. a positive energy surrounding me, people who produced this positive energy, the one who r not going to demoted us...
after all.. its life in your years that matter.. not the other way around..
..and I finally understood about it..
Thank you Pak Sheikh..

Restless.. apakah..( and pissed off)

2009-05-05T16:24:00.002+08:00

owh well.. yes i am.. as restless as ever.. thinking about the unreturned proposal of mine.. been calling Sofia for the past few days, and i m dementedly worried.. how come tbey havent returned my proposal yet.. everybody seems to have returned the amended copy to the 2nd floor and here I am.. still waiting like a fool.. if i were able to get the name of the evaluator.. mati belasah aku kije kan ( grrr..)
Owh.. breathe in.. breathe out CC...
on lighter note.. there were a few events, or should i say tragic events happened during the long weekend.
My bro's Camry was stolen during his overnite stay at Hotel cikai Grand View in ipoh last saturday. yes.. the reason I shud hate Ipoh and its people especially Grand View Cikai hotel from now on ( wah tetiba emo.. CC)..
They didnt do anything abt it.. even tho the parking was under the hotel's authority.. siap cakap lagi... 'kenapa tak parking kat dalam pagar" yes.. stupid q from the hotel people.. Dah memang parking gilaswine penuh ( haaa kan aku dah mencarut), u r supposed to make an effort to remind the people who occupy yr darn hotel abt this rite? now dah ada kereta yg hilang, baru cakap.. ha'a memang kat situ dah ada kereta yg hilang before ni.. WTF?
Apasal aku emo padahal tu bukan kereta aku? in fact it'was the company's car? Abg aku pun tak se-emo aku...
I care becos of the car plate.. it was DBD311.. susah payah abg aku tender menender nak dapat no tu.. alih2 ilang.. and he suspected the hotel ppl tu subahat sama... well he has the feeling.. and i am an empath... bley?
itu pasal akak emo.. okehh...
Enuff about that... ( dah.. dah takder peluang aku nak naik camry abg aku... sedeyyy)

ok lah.... tak ilang lagi emo akak nih.. kalau citer pasal tu.. especially it happened in ipoh... ishh... sapa2 org ipoh tak pasal2 kena ngan aku nih...
eh daaaaaaa...

Hence, I write..

2009-04-27T14:03:00.002+08:00

Setelah berbulan akak (taknak bahasakan diri as makcik lagi dah.. kang ketulahan kakakaka)tak memblogkan diri, iya lah.. dari tak sehat, melepek, demam, takder selera bagai ( sampai ilang 4.5 kg).. sampai lahh sehat balik, ada selera balik, makan balik nasik berpinggang-pinggan ( tapi harus mantain berat yg dah ilang berkilo-kilo hari tu), pas tu tak sehat balik, pas tu ok pas tu... ntah... lotsa things happened for the past few weekss.. tapi akak tetaaap mantain tahap kemalasan utk memblog..disebabkan akak membz kan diri ngan bebudak yg 10 minit sekali ketuk pintu bilik.. dah jegil bijik mata pun... tetappplah jugak nak masuk sambil menyengih2kan diri dulu sebagai mukadimahnya sebelum nak bertanya..
Hakikatnya... akak memang penat...
penat sesangatttt layan bebudak ni ha.. tapi dah namanya tugas.. buat la kije ko tu cik kakkk..
So... kenapa akak terajin plak nak memblogkan diri hari ni?
hahahaha jawapannya mudah sajork... bebudak dah balik kg.. so akak dah bebasss.. yippeeee..
result semua dah key in.. karang ada la kursus bagai yg bakal muncul.. tapi dalam seminggu dua ni buleh la akak menarik napas lega... senyum pun sampaike telinga..
Seriussss wa cakap... akak merasa kan sungguh girang hari ni... dan sejak semalam akak asyik duk nyanyi lagu Flora cinta tu.. napa tah.... (mungkin semenjak tertengok konsert AF7 malam sabtu lepas kot)
Kalau nak cerita pasal aktiviti akak for the past month ni.. memanggg la byk..
iya la aktiviti membongkang tak sedar diri kat sofa sambil tengok tv ( itu aja yg akak mampu punn)
2 minggu lepas, ibubapa dan juga adik akak yg beranak dua tu dtg KL ( wahh bahasa). Dorang stay kat Hilton for a few days, dek menjaga hero2 yg mengganas sewaktu adik akak tu pi konferens kat situ.. so akak, seperti biasa la, dah namanya dorang melepak kat situ.. akak pun tumpang duakaki join melepak..
owh tak lupa.. ada org belanja kat Rebung malam tu.. trimkasey la daun keladi la bro.. kalau buleh belanja la kat situ lagi berkali-kali.. (tetiba...)
daaa..

A retreat to BeeZee island

2009-03-25T13:24:00.004+08:00

Seriously! I need a break! Rasa cam lama sangat dah tak cuti, cuti in the sense of balik kg. kalau stakat cootey kat TSS ni, takder maknenyerr.. setakat tukar2 channel astro sambil baring2,, tat's not my idea of a break.
recently I ve been juggling btw my working life which full of deadlines.. and paper markings and my not so well condition. Tomorrow i ll be admitted again for my 3rd cycle of Infliximab infusion. a 4 long hrs of me doing nothing while waiting for the drug to be administered inside me.
I havent started making a whole load of MCQs exam for one of the courses i taught this semester. feel like i dun have time to do all thise during my daily 8 working hrs ( but i do have time to take an hr peek into my fb plak kah kah kah, never intend to spend the whole hrs kat situ tho)
Anyway, on happier note ( happy kah?), I d be moving outta my rented flat tis coming sunday to my own tiny weeny apartment in kajang. redah je la kan, tho I ve to admit i havent renovated anything yet, but it is surely fit to be occupied, for a start. Lantak la, langsir pun tarak ( harus la tampal2 kertas suratkhabar jek kat tingkap nanti hehehe)
hmm wat else to write? ..
other than that, apart of me suffering from a few side effects due to the drug ( i think), i m still happy.. and ok...
taaa

She vomitted, she croaked

2009-03-10T14:17:00.003+08:00

Last week was... ( uwahhhh).. sangat menyedihkan okay..
I was not supposed to narrate em all here.. bcos.. as much as I dun like people whining about their disappointing health condition.. I shud not do the same thing here rite! ( dengan lain perkataan, tidak baik untuk aku merungut atau berkata-kata dengan segala kejadian malang yg menimpa ku.. wite?)
but,, nak juga aku berkata-kata.. since I ve gone hru a few episodes of.... ( drum rollings)
1. renal colics ( when i typed colics, meaning, i ve gone thru it more than once... tersangat sakit okay. in chronological order:
a.Wednesday evening, while waiting for pakcik to fetch me, outta sudden i felt the pain initiated on my left waist, and it continously throbbed inside till i reached home. after an hour, lying on the bed, i managed to wake up, thinking of going to the clinic, and outta blue, the pain diasppeared.
b. Thursday evening, The smiliar pain started again at 7 pm. I managed to take my bath, washed the clothes, and after i took my dinner and painkiller, i lied down. It became worst, i know its a renal colic, bcos i ve experienced the similar pain 5 yrs ago, a week before i underwent my TKR at dat time. so, the it has ttacked me again. Vomiited for like 5 times before pakcik arrived and brought me to the clinic. ( ok ini part yg aku rasa cam nak belasah jek the doctor yg buat locum kat Klinik P*enawar tu tau!)
Masa aku masuk, dia tgh baca paper dgn bagusnya. Aku baru pas muntah untuk kali ke 6 kat toilet klinik. This is part of theconversation occured:
Makcik: Dr, I think i got a renal colic la
Dr ampeh (DA): macamana awak tau?
Makcik: Sebab saya dah pernah dapat sakit yg cam ni 5 yeras ago, and besides,my ct scan report said there are multiple renal calculi inside my left kidney.
DA : So apasal dia org tak buat apa2
Makcik ; (sambail tahan sakit) bcos they did the ct scan for my endometriosis
DA ( membebel panjang lebar) sambil masih baca paper
Makcik: So can u give me the injection to reduce this pain
DA: Membebel tak abis lagik
Makcik: Boleh tak dr? saya dah tak tahan sakit ni
DA: ok, boleh but mungkin bukan kidney stone, mungkin muscles ( he pronounced it as muzzles)yang buat aku terkebil2 tak paham
Makcik: can u give me the injection NOW dr?
DA: maih dengan 'muzzles" dia sambil duk baca paper lagik. pas tu bagi instruction yg tah hapa2 kat aku.. sedangkan aku dah siap baring kat atas katil dah
Makcik : so pissed off at dat time
DA : ok saya bagi buscopan?
Makcik : (dalam ati : wat? gila apa nak bagi aku anti-spasmodic.. aku dah cakap ni bukan muscle spasm.. bagi la voltaren ke weiiii).. hm ok la ( wutever)
after for like 5 mins, dia injek aku wh buscopan, (yg dapat aku rasa, it wont give any effect to me)
DA: so balik nanti meniarap, pas tu letak airbatu kat pinggang bla bla bla
i went back home, did as he instructed, and as predicted, that buscopan didnt give any effect to me. I vomiited for like a few times more. siap2 menggelupu atas katil sbb tak tahan sakit ( boleh imagine tak? ).. not a pretty sight i must say.
at 11, we decided to go to A&E hospital serdang. tu pun aku rasa cam lama sgt nak sampainya.. sampai sana jek, aku paksa adik kat registration to attend aku dulu. terus dia antar aku kat dalam. masa baring kat atas katil tu, terasa lama sangat dengan aku yg pegang plastik in case aku muntah yg kali ke berapa dah. so they put me on a drip, and then since i cantake tramal, so they injceted me with voltaren sajork. after 10 mins, ( lama skit sbb my level of pain tu kira dah level 8 outta 10), the pain was decresing slowly. after getting my blod and urine and xray result, they discharged me at 3 am.
c. hari jumaat aku ok sajork. Since dapat mc, aku pi opis jap ptg tu nak ambik buku untuk finsihing school aku. stomach muscles aku tersangat sakit disebabkan gerakan yg terover masa muntah pada malam sebelumnya. suapar aku terus ilang jugak
d. saturday, aku ada FS, so dengan suara yg sgt merdu, aku mengfasilitasi kan bebudak tu , and at 4.30 pm, tetiba aku rasa sakit tu dtg balik.. haaa sudahhhh.
ambik another pain killer, kul 5.30 abis jek sakit makin menjadi2 lak.. jadi sebelum terngadah, aku pi klinik P*enawar tu lagi for anthr voltaren jab. Check dulu sapa dr bertugas, tobat aku taknak masuk kalau dr yg sama cam malam tu ada.. nasib baik dr lain. Dr ni mmg dah selalu aku jumpa.. so he kinda knows me la. When i narrate that nite incidence, terusdia cakap sambil geleng kepala.. "eh tak cukup ngan buscopan, mana boleh bagik tu saja... renal colic ni mmg sakit.... "
See. dia sangat memahami.,..
e. Ahad, aku siap2 ambik another voltaren tablet sebelum kul 4.30. so bila balik rumah, terasa sakit skit dah, cepat2 ambik another voltaren. nasib baik the pain ease away after an hour
f. Isnin, bangun dgn sakit matanya on the left side ( tatau kenapa) and batuk2 yg mengokol2 now. Took one tab at 1 pm and at 7pm dia start sakit balik. terus ambil another tab, anthr panadol actifast and off to bed. around 10 pm baru la dia betul2 ilang.
and today... im at work. have taken one tab at 1.30 pm just now.. i know the trick now. sebelum dia sakit atau rasa sakit skkit2, terus ambil ubat.. tapi tu la.. i m now so so relying on painkillers. baru jek steroid free... cett
well... thinking of going to urologist earliest next week. sangat sibuk tis week with tests etc. besides hospital serdang only have visiting urologist which is actually from KL. and I have asked them to give me ther referral letter to HUKM, senang, all my medical history kat sana..
owh well... tata

and today..and also 2 days ago..

2009-03-03T16:15:00.004+08:00

terasa sangat letih...
ok.. i was a bit hyperactive rite after i ve been put on my 2nd cycle infusion..
and i have stopped taking my usual daily dose of steroid yeay! am tapering it down to half of the dose now.. hopefully i d be able to stop it totally in a week time..
well anthr symptom came up... anyway..
I m beginning to feel nauseous once in a while now.. ( not sure whether it's from the post effect of this infliximab).. ( written 2 days ago)
and as today..
life's not been as hectic as before tho.. well.. on n off actually. This weekend I ll have another finishing school at FEP. ( and i ll have anothr extra money for the new house heheh)
SIRIM audit ended yesterday. and I was one of the auditee. The auditor is actually my junior from MRSM and also UKM. So meeting her was like.. owww! ( and i have things in miy mind like, how much money did she get for all these audits arr, must be bundles.. wahhhh ) tetiba mode teringin nak kije kat sirim ... apakah!
Anyway.. outt sudden, i was hooked wth the FB. whilst all these while i never bothered abt all the gadgets in FB. I registered in November last year, cos I heard my sister mentioned how good it is, since she has been connected with all of her ex schoolmates/coursematess via this FB.
so one day i decided to register with the intention tofind all my x schoolmates/coursemates. Nan ado ghopanyaaa.. tho i ve been typing all their names. Nampak sgt the older batches never bothered abt this FB. Looks like I m the one who's catching up with the trend eh? ( bangga di situ)
so.. (the first para was drafted a few days ago).. I m now sitting in my room.. at half past 8, ( ill have a lecture at 12 actually), trying to figure out what hud i do wth the rest of my day? Tho there'r tonnes of works to be done... but as weeeknd is getting nearer ( takder maknonya,, as I still have to work)..
anyway, I l be moving out at the end of this month. There's still lotsa to be done, Pakcik wants to paint it again, and I m thinking of buying a new cooker hob ( for a start).. but come to think of it.. where got time to go n survey for all these la..
Ada orang tu cakap... byk masa lagi.. as if.. pbhttt! tapi aku ni kan... suka panik dulu and berasional kemudian.. and there r lotsa things that i ve neatly planned... tapiso far,.. satu pun lum menjadi lagik...haishhh...
so much for the whining..
till then

A hole in his belly

2009-02-24T10:21:00.003+08:00

Seriously, it's more like a hell lake actually..
I think after watching eden lake yesterday afternoon, I m not gonna believe of such phrase like ' sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga' anymore.
That movie gave a perfect eg of how evil ppl wont be caught at the end and will live happily ever after, whilst the good ones have to take the consequence of being good and wud be killed at the end (oopss.. did i actually reveal its ending? )
This is the only movie which made me grumble dissatisfyingly. The only tot tat did occur in my mind was to burn the cinema like the bollywood movie fans did when they did not agree with the ending ( but i did not! wasnt tat agressive tho hihihi)
However i was hypochondriacally having this stomach ache and also the pain on my sole feet while watching it.
hey look.. somebody has actually read my mind abt it..
an excerpt from thecriticalcritics.com about this movie---
But originality notwithstanding, Eden Lake is a lean, mean and genuinely nail-biting piece of filmmaking that literally has you perched on the edge of seat. And, it’s a film that sparks anger in the minds of the audience and a thirst for revenge against the bad guys. Director Watkins knows how to goad his audience

It was violent. No wonder it's a 18SG movie.
Anyway.. Im looking forward to watch anthr Thai Horror Movie "reborn" when it's showed on cinema. A scary ghost in the cinema.. sounds interesting to me ..

as to me , overall. it was worth yr 7 ringgit tickets.

ok.. back to more works..
P.s Apa? i ve been updating this blog daily for 2 days in a row... I am sooo amazeddddddd with myself..

A Quiet Monday

2009-02-23T09:22:00.003+08:00

The weekend was a tiring one. I went thru a 2 whole blasted days of conducting a finishing school. As expected, the stduents involved were from medical, nursing and dietetic programmes. and only half of them came. Tu pun, bcos on the 1st day, rite i ve been barking at them ( sorta) of how disappointing i were last time, cos I knew they came here bcos they'r forced to. and they admitted tat too. I even asked them whether they planned to disappear rite after morning break and nobody dare to anser it ( tho deep inside i knew they have planned to do tat). Anyway, rite after break, 8 students wre already missing in action. takpe lah. At least i ve already predicted that it wud happen
So, due to the stress on the 1st day, aku sorta fell asleep very early. It's not yet 9 when i ve alreday dozed off. On the 2nd day, anthr 3 were missing. Somehow i kinda expected it cos the guy who actually promised me not to disappear on his 1st day was now nowehere to be seen on the 2nd day. See, I told u he never planned to stay on his 1st day.
Anyway, all in it was fun . Those medical studnts r very smart, i tell u and able to express their opinions openly. and those r the small amounts who really want to come on their own will.
last nite was not so bad tho. I maaged to open my eyes till 10.30. Tu pun bcos i was stuck with this one movie on hallmark channel. A movie that i remember i ve watched it bfore but since katherine heiigl starred in the movie i wont mind watching it again. wept a bit sum more.
Got quite a late call from bak. I got a reminder from BSN due to the late payment from an ex colleague for his personal loan. and I am his guarantor. Well I do trust this ex colleague and its quite a schocked when i received the letter. Even my family knew this person bcos he has come to my house a few times along wth his fiancee at tat time.
Straightly texted him rite after i put down the call. and it was ages bfore he replied back.( i tot he wud never reply. so outta panic , i left a msg in his YM, and my, i tot it sounded quite harsh ) and then i got a reply from him, a text msg telling that he's already cleared the payment tis afternoon. Oppsss...
and now i m gonna blame the bank for my nasty act. I m quite sure he'd be very offended when he read the msg today. ( owh by the way i did reply back when i got his reply. by saying, "ok, TQ!"
Shud have apologised for 'accidentaly' leaving the evil msg in his YM. Hmmm...
anyway... back to work lah....
feeling quite sleepy tho....

2nd entry in a row? whoaaa!

2009-02-20T16:21:00.002+08:00

Its 30 mins to 5. and I m looking forward to balik time. ecehh.
tapi ingat sat gi nak pi refreshen my make up kot dalam toilet.. apply lipstick ka lipliner ka.. puff my cheek a bit, replacing the remain of the foundation ka..
Cissss... takder masa nya heii.. (ntah angin meroyan mana lak tetiba ngigau sebut cam ni)
I havent eaten anything since this morning. Reason.. too lazy to go down without any companion. Dah le aircond kat bilik ni dah call maintennace. dorang datang buat lawatan muhibbah jek yesterday, janji nak 'do something', but other than took a look while adjusting the temperature to a lower scale, they havent done nothing so far . Tu pun aku leh wat.. yg kuar jek angin jek.. manyak panas tau... and my colleague said, the reason the aircond unit broke down in my room bcos.. ermm I ve been hyperventilating too much.. errmm apakah?
yesterday, I have been forced to become a middle person in a conflict between my students, in another word, since I m the 'oldest' amnongst them all ( and also the smartest, bley? ), i tried not to either offend or fingerpoint to any of them. Bak kata Karam Singh Walia, to become a good problem solver, rambut yang ditarik dalam tepung tu jgn dibiarkan bersepah.. sorta la..
It started when a group of my Entrepeneurship nya class, started accusing one of the member in a group of 'curi tulang' and not doing his responsibilty as a team work. Furthermore, he's been making the profit only for himself. So the rest of the gp which only consist of girls only, voiced out their dissatisfaction for tis one member nih..
so being a good lecturer ( cehh), i asked them to meet me in my room the next day, so dat they wud tell watever things they had in mind about this poor male victim nih.
and this poor victim was quite surprised when i asked him whether he has any prob wth the rest of the group. Then, the gals representative ni started to narrate the whole story again infront of him. It seemed that, the rest of the gp ni cam dengar from other party and never feel like asking directly from the victim.
Aku pun sympathized gak, if i were in his shoes, ye lah tetiba jek.. kena panggil without any warning. Supposedly they shud ask him first and settle la amongst themselves before they included me in their disagreement.
and I have to admit tis is one ofmy weaknesses la, i do not know how to remain a poker faced ) ke cool-faced?) once they broke down infront me. Try to sympathise tapi kang cam ak professional la plak kan? ( eceh.. tetiba nak mantain professional composure ere).
so after they have knwn the real story behind it, aku pun menyuruh la dorang bersalam-salaman dan membuang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih..( haha tetiba). bagi aku its just only small matter (tats for me, tapi tau la bebudak ni kang, perkara cam ni pun bagi mereka sangat la besar nya impaknya di masa akan datang)..
and as a team, they shud know how to compromise, a character tat u shdu have if u wanna become an entrepeneur kan?
kan dah.. tak pasal aku perlu mengeluarkan segala hujah2 and point2 yg dah aku emphasize masa kat lecture..
terangguk2 jek dorang..
so aku ingatkan dah settle.. and indeed it is..
tapi ptg skit, the poor victim came knowcking my room. after a few hrs tot, he said he feels like dropping the subject. Sudahhh..
Puas la aku mujuk bagai jgn drop.. "saya dah nampak awak ada bakat keusahawanan nih"
itu la antara taktik2 aku yg ak berapa menjadi masa sesi memujuk tu..
and he still insisited in dropping the subject.
Last2 aku guna reverse psychology,. ish cam menjadi la plak.. so dia kata nak balik fikirkan and see how it goes within tis week. Tu pun pas dia dah nangis bagai depan aku citer pasal family problem dia, which he didnt want to mention at first. tapi napa tah.. tetiba he confided ... ish rasa cam kaunselor plak aku....
so itulah dia....tetiba jek aku rasa cam.... wahhhh best!
so the gist of the entry is... I really love my work.. even though there wud be ugly stuffs cam continuous audit tu ke, ( yg dah taklarat dah aku nak whine abt), tapi in general, other than feeding them more n more knowledge, befriending them,tis is a duration of period in their lives which they have included me in, and even put in their trust in me with their stories.. and God knows how it cud influence them in the future.
korang paham tak apa yg aku nak sampaikan?
tak paham tak pe la... biar aku syok sendiri jek.. hihihihi
whoa.. i spent 30 mins just to write tis one simple entry? Hmm remind me again why i cudnt update my blog everyday ok...
Signing off...

extremely exhausted

2009-02-20T08:49:00.002+08:00

referring to the title.. cam best sgt kan aku ni kan? cam aku sorang jek la yg buat kije non stop whilst the others makan gaji buta blogging gossipping ym-ing semata-mata kan?cam orang lain dtg kije post 3-4 entries per day pas tu skype-ing bagai pas tu siap bloghopping agi? kih kih kih
ada ke org sentap kalau aku ckp cam ni? bunyi cam aku jek tu? NOT! hehehe
(tetiba jek feeling ala-ala evil pagi nih.. abaikan jek la perangai aku yg tak semengah nih)
anyway on lighter note...disebabkan aku selalu sgt komplen weeekend cam tak produktif jek.. hah hambik ko.. minggu ni.. aku tetiba jek dibebani ngan workload yg melimpah ruah..sampai tak sempat nak lunch bagai... my weekend too wud be filled with the finishing school. Ermm ini aku yg nak bukan dorang bagik.. at least dalam LPP aku ada la gak penglibatan aku dalam aktiviti pelajar ( not to mention the benefit tat they reward me for being with the stds for 14 straight hours! Muntah darah la dorang manjang tgk muka macik yg kiut ni kan kah kah kah )
Alkisahnya dari sehari ke sehari.. aku nak upload pics dr hp aku ( yang dah nak kong tu.. alih2 tetiba jek off sendiri), pas tu ada a few piccas dr camera jugak.. tapi tu la.. nak memulakan mencari cable usb yg aku simpan kat tempat baiiikk punya sampai aku pun dah lupa kat mana.. tersangat laaa menciknya aku...
tetiba gak mode nak post entri disertai dgn piccas sebagai bukti menguasai diri..
so dari sehari ke sehari jugak.. aku simpan segala bentuk citer yg kununnya nak di-narratekan balik kat sini ( sebagai iktibar ye tuan puan.. )tapi tu lah... dah lama sgt aku pun malas nak backdate dah...
Tak rajin sebenarnya aku ni.. baru aku perasan hihihhi
--stop jap.. nak pi studentnya practical barang 2-3 jam.. kalau rajin.. sambung le balik.. 2 entries in one day? fuhhhh makcik sudah bagus nihh...

2009-02-09T13:10:00.002+08:00

outta'f blue, feel like updating the blog... sementelah tengok semua org update blog at least once a day.. tapi daku... hmmm... seminggu sekali pun lum tentu....
yes.. procrastination is my middle name.. people..
dan this sudden urging to update this blog came.. when i m in the middle of updating my lecture notes aka lecture slides...
yer tuan puan, to deliver full details of my lecture content, ill at least read 3 books.. but at the end, i ll just quote the most difficult and extra lengthy explanations amongst those 3.. and i ll end up making the students more confused and suffered...
owh well.. i guess that one of the nature becoming a lecturer kot ( or is it only moi) to torture the students to the max.. kah kah kah...
and all those things will lead to the worst evaluation of moi as a lecturer...
heh peduli apa aku ( in denial mode kekekeke)
owh enuff abt tat.... actually my intention is purely innocent.. and good.. i want to share with those not so hungry knowledge seeking students of wat i have known and have gone thru... some of those informations cant be found in any text book.. yet somehow... these students arrr... i tell u.. always misunderstood my sincere intention.. they accuse me ( and others) for getting back at them.... as if we really hate our prev lecturers during our heycollege days and now.. we re bullying em as sorta revenge...
pleaseeee la.. mak bukan cam tu ohkayyyyy.... in fact mak really appreciate wat my prev lectureers have done to me and have made me as wat i am now... the way they yelled and made us suffered, has transformed me to a responsible, independent, respectable and popular and cute amongst the students now.. ( haihhh tetibaaaa) hahahahah

abaikan jek la.. kemerapuan melampau ni.. gara2 nak mengupdate sangat la nihhhh....
...
anyway on lighter note ( cam la merapu yg kat atas tu heavy topic sangat la kan?)
am sending my niece to banting in a few minutes... owh btw...
i ve been domestically functional at home since she arrived 3 days ago...hahahaha
i ve cooked bfast meal for 3 days in a row.. one lunch meal which consisted of asam pedas ikan pari, ikam pekasam and sayur goreng yang cam, sedap sangat daku rasa ( wahh puji diri sendiri nampakk)..
sorry no pics taken peiple.. tak koser nak snap..
there's still lots more to write.. biasaaa la.. kalau dah memblog tak reti2 nak stop kan... but due to the time constraint.. haishhh... i have like some picacs to show as well.. tapi tu lahh.....
memnadangkan masa mencemburui daku.. kah kah kah.. i d betetr go now.. azan zohor dah berkumandang... kena siap2....cos am planning to look for more items for the new apartment after sending her back....
ciao...

Orang berbudi kita berbahasa.. kan?

2009-01-21T12:33:00.003+08:00

well, if u look at the right side of this blog, im linking another 2 blogs that have put mine as one of the blogs they read, and another one that i have been visiting frequently
well i m honoured actually, to know that there are people who actually linked my blogsite in their blogs. to know tat there r a few kerats who actually read my so so mood -dependable blog... i d say tat its.. ermmm priceless? boley?
---- and to realise tat i m still in the mood of updating my blog, surprisingly.. ( and to share an ugly incidence tat occured yesterday when i went for a usual rheumy follow-up at Hospital X. well nothing cud surprise me anymore.. ( i guess)
--to begin a story, I went out early yesterday morning, to catch a followup appt . reached there at 7.30 and i was the 16th person already. The docs wont be in , not till they have finished their ward round at 10ish. and I was hoping tat by getting there early, i wud finish early la kan? and tat is wat supposed to be happened rite?
So i waited till 10, and surprisingly (again), i was so bz talking to another RA patient tat i forgot the time. The no started blinking around 10ish. and after 1 hr, the docs inside there only managed to see TWO patients only! and the number of patients was increasing till here's not enuff seats for them anymore.
and I have a meeting at 2.30... was hoping that I d be back before 1. But judging from the way they saw the patients, i wonder whether they d be able to see all the patients in one day.
Later on, i have someone to do the not-so dirty work for me. I asked him to ask the nurse whether i can go in later on, even tho i ll have like another 13 patients before me. after compromising wth the nurse, I d be the next one who wud go in, she said.
But then, the patient inside never came out. so i asked him to ask the nurse at the counter again. Few minutes later he told me to stand infront'f d room. well, another 1/2 hr passed and they ( 3 docs) only managed to see 3 patients.
So he bravely knocked the door and asked the person inside. Well at this point, I wasnt able to neither see or hear clearly what he told the doc, but i can feel some heated argument initiated over the conversation. The doctor was inside the room with a large group of his medical students, examining the patient who lie helplessly on the bed!
Owh well, i wont question how the doctor works with his patients, but cant u ( yes, u! the so called doctor who hapepened to claim that he's the best rheumy in town ( which i never tot he is) take a look outside yr room and see how restless yr big crowds of patients are due to a long wait? There'r like 60 patients cramping inside the waiting area, and u still have the time to teach yr students which indeed will spend like aeons to attent every patient? I mean,be realistic la and be considerate as well. U can alwasy change yr teaching sessions with the students at another time, when there's not many patients in the clinic or u can always turn patients to yr guinea pigs when they r in the ward.
and all those people r not fit to be frozen in the clinic.
and I only managed to think out loud at tat time, did not have the gut to give a piece of my mind to the doctor. But he did!
When the doc said tat he's working here, he managed to anser like tis: "I have no doubts tat u r working now and i wont question on how u treat yr patients, but cant u make it short as there's like 60 more patients out there and there u r now, examining yr one patient for the past one hour"
in fact he even put oil to the fire by exclaiming" so how many hrs do u need to see all 50 patients outside? 50 more hours?"
and the doc agreed to see his friend after he finished with his current patient.
well that's supposed to be me then!
and when i entered the room 20 minutes later, there's like 50 pairs of eyes staring at me as i was the tentacled alien from krypton. ..
Not to mention they r staring at my hands rudely.
not to mention my annoyance for these current manners of some medical studnts nowadays.
and i hid my hands under my handbag, serve them rite! i was preparing for some sarky comments tho, luckily not one of them dare to converse wth me. Judging from the furious look of mine, i dun think tbey wud.. hehehe
and when the Doc asked me who tat hamba Allah is,i ansered " he's my friend"
so he went off blabbering tat I shud knock at his door anytime if i want to go in early bcos he has known me and has been seeing me for quite sometime alreday, and there shudnt be any problem bcos I quoted" we re fellow lecturers even tho we re from diff univ"
well I m not tat nasty to cut other ppls line, bcos usually whenever i went for a followup, they managed to see me around 11ish and im back in the office latest by 1, and i always reach the hospital latest by 8 am.
If not due to the staring crowds infron'f him, i wud have given him a worthwhile piece of my mind as well. But I didnt want to ruin his reputation infront'f his respected ( la sangat) students.
I mean being a Medical lecturer is not about u teaching ( or perhaps showing off?) yr best skills to yr students or giving yr best treament to yr patients as well. U shud have empathies towards them too! U shud have put yrself in yr patient's shoes who have been waiting since early in the morning, and is still waiting after 5 hours.
I mean dun any hospital has this piagam khidmat pelanggan of the waiting time for each patient shud not exceed more than an hour? ( i saw one at Pusat kesihatan UPM when i went for the wound dressing) and i think the PK does follow the rules.
Enuff said.
the not so good thing came from it ( or was it bad thing), they r gonna start putting on another new drug starting next week.
and I have to be warded fopr 2 days due to the procedure. its very expensive drug but they ve put me as one of the guinea pig maybe? nahh.. one outta 4 patients who will receive it FOC.
well I do mind the period im gonna spend there. I mean.. I will be xposed to the knowledge/skill hungered students who , definitely will disturb me by asking similar questions repetitively.
I mean if u ve been disrupted by them for more than 20 yrs, who wont, rite?
ok.. I ve decided, i m gonna have laryngitis next week.
Boleh?
opps forgot anthr good thing came from this Rheumy. I was supposed to call the gynae clinic on the 29th asking abth the result of the tissue tat they removed inside me last time.
in fact, they wud call me a day earlier if the result is found to be abnormal.
but he mananged to trace the result yesterday and he said it was totally Endometriosis. nothing malignant ! yeahh!
and i was supposed to pretend tat I havent known abt the result yet and wud still call them on the 29th.
Yes, I m a great peretender.. aint it?
ok.. tats the end of the entry.

ok.. its published

2009-01-19T14:35:00.002+08:00

outta sudden im in 'updating mode' ( sangat menyampah rasanya bila tetiba terbit mode ini, cos i tend to spend like hrs to write, reread due to lotsa typo error and later on.. will hesitate like umpteenths times whether to publish it or not ! enuff said... the damage is done already! erkk!

anyway, tis is my 1st day at work after a month medical leave ( actually its 33 days to be exact). and i reached the faculty 10 minutes to 11 due to a meeting whch took place at the main campus . I was not in the meeting actually, but The Research TD wanted me to be around regarding the post doc aplication of an iranian researcher.
Anyway, taking an iranian as either your postgrad @ post doc student is like risking yrself to some bad ( or might be worst) consequences of not achieving yr project's objective. But... i have to take the risk due to my 2 post grad students who quit before they even registered for the course, and tat left me with NO post grad student at all and i have like 6 months away to produce a progress report for a project which 's supposed to start now, alas.. i have no one to conduct the labworks for the project.

and now I have one student who came 'menyerah diri' to me and another post doc to do all the works . so i m now in a very secured position, providing i have to bark, yell and push them very hard.. ( nahhh.. am not that kinda person tho)

For the past few days, there was a hot issue been discussed in every academic staff's email box. There's like a few sarky responses from the professors and all those top hierarchys regarding the parking issue ever since the admin reminded us not to park the car at the area which's not the parking area or else the car wud be clamped. as usual, we blamed the students for parking their cars at the staff's area and the professors demand their own parking spots. have to admit there is not enuff parking spaces in the faculty since the number of the staffs have increased gradually,not to mention the numbers of cars been driven by the students as well.
well not my problem anyway, tho my heart bleeds for those who have to face the problem everyday when they came to work.. well I have someone who sends and picks me up everyday then! hihihih

Anyway, back to usual routine now. I have class on monday and tuesday evening. and pharmacology class wil start after the break, the toxicology class will start in march.. and ( eh.. i m republishing the same statements taht i wrote in my prev entry la plak).. nampak sangat dah takder idea cett!
owh.. byw i spent the weekend, attending a 2 days TOT for the 5th Finishing School in Marriot Putrajaya...well makcik is back in action I guess..hihih
till then..

2009-01-14T11:04:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it.. i have lotsa freeeee time nowadays, considering i m still on medical leave till next week..
but.. i still have to attend d entrepeneurship class on monday n tuesday..
and that wud leave me free for the rest of the week..(yeahh i am so so freee.. ) any appointments have to be forwarded to the weeks after my medical leave ended..
and starting this week, i do not have to do any wound dressing anymore ( dr's order)..
making me more more free ( like a nelly furtado's bird lagikkk)..
and since i m still on medical leave, all works and tasks shud be avoided.. do not ever think about it..( tho i have like mounds of things to be done rite after i came back to work next week)..
nah.. not gonna think abt it..
am in the office now tho.. its been ages since we ( me n my 2 kakis) berpoya2 sambil melepak2 makan tgk movie during office hrs kahkahkahkah...
opss gtg now..

and what's the story?

2009-01-09T13:34:00.004+08:00

Hmm.. its been 3 weeks since i underwent my op..
The wound is not completely healed yet... and I have to visit the clinic and let them do the dressing for me daily...
still not able to wear my jeans.. ( sebab takut nanti bergeser ngan my wound)
I m now living on (real) healthy diet.. Most'f d time I consume vege soup n fish. Reducing my carbs a lot ( tapi idak jugak aku kurus kekdahnya cett)
My sister's maid has run away with the next door's maid, leaving her 2 toddlers at home, alone at tat time. ( sangat kejik itu maid,, and FYI, makcik dah puas mengutuk maid tersebut)
I have collected the key for my new apartment.. but i m still not sure when am i gonna move in..
I still have another week leave yet, i have lectures on mondays n tuesday n labs on wednesdays..
Tot of listing my 2009's resolution... but on 2nd tot... nantilah dulu...
(tetiba jek rasa cam maleh nak meng-update dahh)...

Intermission

2009-01-05T14:40:00.002+08:00

I m in my office room, at the faculty, trying to xerox 40 copies of handouts to be distributed for my 5 pm class. cehhh gigih bertugas walaupun im ubiquitously still on medical leave.. haishhh...
Owhh before I forgot, many thanks to Tim Tams for yr prayers and continuous concern.. I shud have known at least I can count on one virtual reader who anxiously waiting for my health progress.. (yang len hammmpehhhhh tak leh harap.. kekekeek)
owh by the way, the wound is still not completely healed.. starting today, i need to go for a daily dressing.. and they r gonna take one last look ( hopefully) at the wound next week.. owh btw, iwas so so in pain when they pulled out the remain of the stitches this morning... (nearly wet my pant hahahaha)..
katernya pain endurance level is very high.. cettt!
and they only gave me antibiotics today, ( i did beg them to prescribe last week, tapi nan ado yg nak dengar kata aku..) but today, even tho its not as watery as the week before, i tot i was just the serous, but then diff MOs will have diff opinions. They r afraid the wound will be infected, and my opinion it's just some flakes from the skin.. but who am i to question their opinions kan? Im just a normal human with an untypical cervical bones.. keh keh keh..
anyway... I cant find any replacement lecturer that wud be able to deliver this one particular course. and lectures still have to be on schedule.. I ve missed 3 hrs slot last week.. and i m catching up this week.. tak koser sebenarnya nak wat kelas ganti...
so tat makes me wat? dedicated lecturer la kan? ekekekekeke
well.. gotta run.. im trying to discuss with the students later .. perhaps i can change the class schedule to earlier slot..
well im not too keen to end my class at 7 pm every monday...
Till then...

Post-op Part 1

2009-01-04T21:54:00.003+08:00

Im back..in one piece. ( was too lazy to update the blog,even tho I ve been outta the ward 3 days after undergoing the surgery.It was a successful one 'tho it was quite a messy jungle inside there'to quote one of the registrar who also assisted her specialist in the OT.
Yeah,being the lazy bum, i ve been recuperating for almost 10 days at my bro's in KD.The wonderful parent are beside me during the healing time tho. ( and I ll be on medical leave till 18th January, yaaaa makcik harus la berpantang segalabagaikan, as if i were in confiinement ( and I ve been mistakenly assumed that they have given me 6 weeks medical leave..cam ye ye jek).
Hmmm having said that,Im not supposed to give any lectures la kan, for the timebeing...
but ermm... as a dedicated one, ( apakah?) I llbe delivering the lecture tomorrow,tho in themorning, I m going to the hospital again, so that they cud take a look at my suture,it was still quite reddish,the wound I mean, last week, when they r supposed to unstitched it...It was quite lengthy ,they have cut me rite below my bellybutton to the suprapubic region,and yes it was a midline incision..and the first few days of post-op, I have refrained on either coughing or sneezing, afraid that all those tiny movements on the stomach may tear the sutures.
Come to think of it,I know that my pain endurance level is very high,of course la, I mean if u r living with arthritis for more than2 decades, u tend not to wince or flinch whenever they jab a needle to take out yr blood from any small vein of yrs, and usually they wont succeeed in sucking out my blood,not till they tried on uncountable attempts,and by that time, I djust give them one of my winning smiles, when they apologised frequently for purposely hurting me.. Its ok..im so so immuned to it kanz/ ( walhal dalam hati dah berbakul aku menyumpah)..somuch for the 'hospital courtesy'lakan?
to make it worst,they anaesthetized me while I was still fully conscious..Yes,I am very impressed with my self..they shud put me in the ultimate guiness record la kan..I mean,the feeling of being intubated while u felt like u r choking to death,and priorly,they inserted the fibre optic inside my nose,along the nasal tothe trachea ..GOD, I squeezed the anaesthetist's hand so hard,i hope i didnt crush any finger of hers .....I wish i wont have to go thru the same experience again... i mean... i dun mind if they sedated me first like the typical procedure of GA..but then again..I aint a typical ,normal human possessing a typical normalbones...cehhhh dream on la makcik...
The good thing is,I wasnt into post-op emetic state,not like my previous 2 ops before,(but i was on spinal anesthesia in both ops before, even for this one,they changed it to GA via fibre optic 12 hrs before the op, luckily they decided dat bcos the op took about 4 hours,and the damages tat they'r supposed to remove was more than they have presumed( they even cancelled one op bcos mine have taken longer than expected).
Ish i cud go on n on with the procedures (camla they cut me alive kan?) hahaha... once I started choking to death,I was put into sleep,and once i was connscious again,i felt the pain onmy abdomen,and the nurses were bz giving me instruction on how to push the patient control analgesic aka PCA. hey I was on morphine,can u imagine how cool I am.. one small push with my finger will release a smalldose of morphine into my body to relieve the pain I was having at tat time...
I was in my own hallucinating coccoon (not toforget, a tube of morphine bside me)..half awake, halfnaked (oppsss),when i was wheeled tothe ward again,I cud hear the voices of my parent asking ,me how Iam... ( oppss i did remember,one of the anesthetist did mention that by consenting on tis one risky procedure,I m exposed to d risk of becoming paralysed ( if the procedure went wrong or if i were not so lucky)... so instantly i wiggled my toe.. great i can feel it..alhamdulillah..
To be continued

Temporarily closed again

2008-12-15T13:51:00.003+08:00

this blog will be closed till a date tat wud be informed later. As the blog owner will be undergoing a bilateral cystectomy ( not a TAHBSO eh, thank GOD!).. am not sure how long will she recuperate, but she hopes that she wud be able to start her day again before the semester starts (tgh gigih berkobar2 nak berbakti kepada anak bangsa nih). Just wish her a speedy recovery ya! and back to her oldself again.. hope the surgeons wont leave any scissors inside her womb hihihih...
and one more thing.. forgive all her wrong doings so tat she cud be peacefully pushed to the OT without any hindrance.

2008-12-14T10:00:00.002+08:00

Its a boring weekend. seseorang had his gout attack again and that has left him, ermm being disabled for a while.Hence I had no one to bark at ( seemed cruel la plak if i were to bark at helpless person.. anyway all these boredom has made me look upon myself for a while..ala-ala muhasabah diri la plak, wuteva!)
cam bosan la plak nak update blog ni...its only 10 in the morning... and i m restless already..have some chores to be done at the back of my mind...but cik procrastination is dominating me again...tengok la camna,,..
to be continued--

4499F Lorong Tok G*ading

2008-12-04T09:36:00.002+08:00

tetiba plak rasa gigih nak meng-updatekan blog.. sementelah tghari karang makcik akan balik ke kg halaman yg tercinta ...besh besh beshh amat
maka seminggula makcik akan bersiaran drpd lorong tok gading... (tidak.. makcik tidak akan memnawa balik sebarang unsur2 yg boleh di internetkan di sana.. sementelah internet telah pun di'potong' oleh adik ku yg tercinta sejak bbrp bulan lalu (kerana mengikut katanya.. "line phone dlm bilik tu takder sapa guna" .. tapi.. oh ye.. internet masih lagik ada.. tapi cuma mode 'dial-up' sajork dan harus menggunakan line phone rumah nan satu yg ada kat hall tu... tak best la kan?
dan harus juga.. kalau mencari2 line wifi sesat di sekitar area rumah makcik tu.. mustahil rasanya sbb yg makcik tahu.. hanya makcik sorang jek yg internet tak brp savvy kat situ kahkahkah..
alaaa.. kat kws rumah makcik tu, hanya dipenuhi dgn budak2 yg main galah panjang sajork.. manakan tahu savvy se bagai nih.. hihiih..
lain la kalau mat-mat fit yg berlambak semunyi dalam semak on d way to masjid tu.. sambil2 nunggu mangsa, sempat berinternet menggunakan line telekomunikasi segala bagai dgn handphone masing2 kan?
hahaha... makcik ini cuba memperkotak-katikkan keupayaan org2 kampung makcik rupanyaa.. cessssss.. dasar lupa daratan..
Arakiannya, cuti makcik akan bermula sekejap lagi sebaik sahaja makcik menaiki pesawat kunang-kunang itu ( taktau la.. boleh ke panjat tangga nak naik neyh.. last time makcik dibantu oleh anak sedara).. sehingga la ke hari rabu depan..
bahwasanya.. makcik terlupa la pulak hari khamis adalah hari cuti keputeraan sultan selangor.. ( kalau tau.. makcik memang akan balik pada hari tersebut) .. tapi memandangkan nasik sudah menjadi bubur McD, makcik abaikan sahaja hari tersebut dan bertekad untuk melepak-lepak dirumah sahaja..
Sempena hariraya haji yg bakal menjelang isnin depan.. makcik telah menanamkan azam untuk tidak melakukan perkara2 berikut sewaktu di kampung halaman:
1. berdiri dengan jarak kurang dr 3 meter dengan sebarang lembu yg ditambat di mana2 pokok pada hari isnin, selasa atau rabu depan ( oppss.. rabu makcik sudah balik)
2. duduk mengadap sebarang hidangan berasaskan daging di meja makan rumah makcik atau rumah org lain.
3. bermain-main dengan sebarang ekor lembu yang ditambat atau yg berkeliaran sepanjang tempoh tersebut
4. berkeluh kesah ditepi sebraang fridge yang diisi dengan aiskrim
5. meninggalkan house slipper di depan pintu bilik air ( kerana dikhuatiri akan di kebas oleh si daniel sebagai alat untuk membals dendam kepada makcik dikemudian hari. (dah beberapa kali makcik telah dibaling dengan selipar oleh budak Daniel kerana makcik asyik menyuruhnya melakukan aksi tarian gelek dihadapan makcik)... ye budak kecik itu sebnarnya adalah pendendam orangnya.. dan biasanya dia memulakan strategi yang tak diduga sewaktu makcik senang enak bersantai di atas sofa kat hall)
6. menukar pakaian sewaktu budak kecik itu berada di dalam bilik.. kerana dikhuatiri beliau akan mengutuk kaw-kaw punya akan bentuk badanku yg solid molid ini.. (kali terakhir beliau mengutuk makcik sewaktu makcik tak sempat menghalau beliau keluar bilik ialah pada raya puasa lepas.. dan perkataan yang maha pedas yang digunakan ketika itu ialah " ya Allah.. besarnya perut"! hahahaa.. hampir makcik nak terkencing mendengarkan kutukan mahabrata itu)
7. tidak menjejakkan kaki ke kedai tudung di tingkat 1 pasar besar lama ( ishh tapi dalam hati kepingin sungguh utk membeli 2-3 helai tudung yang ekslusif itu)

Itu sahaja rasanya resolusi yang perlu dipatuhi sepanjang berada di kg halaman nanti.. waima.. sebaik sahaja makcik balik ke bumi serdang kembali.. makcik harus bersiap sedia untuk berumahtangga di hospital lagik...The big O-day cuma tinggal 2 minggu sahaja lagik..
owh.. tidak sabar rasanya utk melantak segala nasik kerabu yang berwarna hitam... dan juga sebarang ubi rebus.. ya.,.. itu merupakan makanan ruji makcik sebaik sahaj tinggal di kampung halaman..
lihat.. tidak susah hendak membela dan menyara makcik ini sebenarnya.. sekadar di gula-gulakan dengan ubi kayu rebus sahaja, maka makcik akan terlentok keseronokan.. dan sekelongsong nasi belauk yg beruilam sambal belacan dan gulai kuning ikan kering.. waduhhh udah kecur airliur makcik ini...tidak mustahil sidaniel akan kembali dengan kutukan2 dewatanya lagi.. sebaik sahaja melihat makcik mengisi tembolok makcik yg mengikut kata daniel " ya Allah.. perut Cik Ngah macam perut gajah!" hahhahahah

2008-12-02T16:48:00.003+08:00

Takder mood nak berkerja aka nak memproduktifkan diri sementelah dah dekat2 nak raya aji nih ( haha alasan.. bila masanya ko ada mood nak kije pun makcik.. excusessss manjang ko neyh)..
serious... tambahan pula minggu nih.. semua org either pi mengkursus ptk-an diri or dah balik cuti..
cam makcik sensorang jek yg masuk kije kat dalam dunia nih...
cam makcik sorang jek yg takde plan nak bawak anak2 pi mana2 sempena musim cuti nih ( hishh lupa, anak pun lum ado)..
cam oksigen pun dapat kat makcik jek dalam ofis nih.. ( explained pasai sejuk sgt aircond 2-3 hari nih.. sbb takramai yg guna..)
tapi takpe...
sebabnya.. esok lusa.. makcik akan men-cutikan diri.. dengan bersuka ria makan nasik kerabu, apam balik, nasik berlauk segala bagai kat kampung halaman yg tercenta...
walaupun makcik amat paham.. chances makcik nak berpoya2 di bawah terik mentari amatlah tipis.. sebab kg halam makcik skrg tgh musim tengkujuh...
tapi makcik redhaa... ( hari tu tengok mangsa banjir moyok jek kat pusat pemindahan banjir, makcik ter-pilu sat.. iya la.. ada gak makcik terpikir.. kenapa la mereka mereka semua yg dah tau.. tempat dorang tu setahun sekali akan dilimpahi air banjitr tapi tetap nak duk situ gak.. apasal tak pindah or buat rumah kat tempat yg tinggi skit ( dan selepas itu makcik mula la mengutuk2 diri sendiri..ish cam senang jek suh org pindah randah duk tempat tinggi.,.. dah namanya tu tempat tumpah darah dia.. ingat ke senang ke nak pi duk tempay lain , lain la makcik yg rumah tak penah banjir unless kalau di takdirkan tempat makcik banjir.. alamaknya mmg bandar KB tu akan tenggelamm.. )
begitulah kekdahnya...
Sebab itu la.. makcik tak gedik or hepi sngt kunnunya nak main air bah ke hapa ke.. sbab makcik tau banjir ni merupakan satu malapetaka kepada setengah org yg tinggal di kawasan rendah.. ilang segalanya.. (tapi ada la plak maknusia yg excited gila kalau banjir sbb nak main air banjir katenyaaa.. siap wat lagu lagi.. ishh... heran la plak)..
ala-ala ceramah ustazah la plak neyh..
tengok keadaan mangsa banjir bergenang jek airmata makcik.. ish kalau la makcik nih diberi rezeki yg lebih.. nak gak makcik beli tanah yg tak sampai dek banjir n bagi mangsa banjir tu bina rumah bagai kat situ...so takder la dorang asal ujung tahun jek.. dorang phobia takut rumah kena banjir....
tapi tu la.. makcik tak kayo.. tanah sekangkang kero pun takder..
begitulah adanya..

Ada aku kesahhhh?

2008-11-28T08:10:00.002+08:00

Pagi jumaatyang sejuk . Hujan tak henti-henti sejak petang semalam. jeans yg kat ampaian tu dah berapa kali kering dah berapa kali lembab der. Iya lah.. aku balik time ujan lebat menggila.. ada aku kesahhh? hehehe
Minggu ni cam tak produktif jek ( tah masa bila la plak aku ni produktif kan?) tambah-tambah semenjak bebudak nih takder... asal jek aku baca artikel kat journal skit.. taksampai spoloh menet.. mula la menguap bagai.. tapi time duk nak mengkhatamkan blog si Joe tuh... buntang jek bijik mata aku bacanya.. cam baca buku citer yg tak sabar2 kita nak tau ending dia camna.. ishh mid-lfe crisis betul la aku neyh... kekekek
Tapi berkat kesungguhan dan ke-dedikasian aku baca .. akhirnya malam tadi.. khatam la jugak aku blog mamat tu yg dah masuk tahun keempat tuh. bayangkan la... dalam satu bulan tu berpuluh2 entries dia post.. aku boleh abiskan baca dalam 1 jam. ishhh cam addicted la plak aku neyh.. kekeke
tapi dah khatam nih... rasa cam .. dah takder benda to look fwd to.. (walaupun kije yg menimbun atas meja aku makin lama makin byk.. list task tuh siap tampal lagik tuhh,,, kay screen pc.. tapi dari 2 minggu lepas aku rasa cam 1% jek yg aku buat... ada aku kesahhhh? kekekek)
Sementelah plak.. darjah kenestapan aku dah makin menurun.. fome wat may... entrie blog makosea yg menyakitkan ati ke.. aku malassssssss dah nak ambik port... aku nih kan.. dah nama nya piscean... memang la org bawah horoskop nih jenis yg suka hold grudges kan? yg ala-ala jenis menyimpan dendam kesumat ( simpan dendam jek.. takder la nak balas dendam pun.. ) so pasal maknoshea yg caKap dia tak buat apa2 salah pun kat aku.. yg apa yg dia tulis tu semua nya betul.. yg rasa apa yg terbetik dia otak dia tu.. dia boleh luahkan tanpa kira perasaang org lain.. yg dia rasa yg dia tu la besttt sgt.. yg rasa apa2 menda pun mesti go thru dia dulu sbb dia tu 'berkepentingan' orgnya... go on laa... sebab semenjak ssat aku dah baca apa yg dia tulis pasal aku yg aku nih maknoshea yg complicated sgttt. yg dia rasa dia nak kongsi ke-complicated-an aku ngan pembaca2 yg suka tulis komen kat blog dia.. teruskan lah perjuangan suci dia tu.. ada aku kesahhhhhh? yg penting.. aku dah tau apa impression dia kat aku... ( aku pun leh gak nak menyuarakan ketidakpuasan hati aku kat dia selama nih.. ) tapi aku diamkan jek lah... sebab bila berkawan nih.. prinsip aku senang jek.. ko sakit hati kat dia.. ko tak suka certain habits dia.. ko simpan jek ladalam ati...ko terima la dia seadanya.. ko tego dia dgn cara baik in person.. (takmain la sms or YM haprak tuh... sbb aku nih bukannya idup bergantung kat YM kan?)tidaklah aku nak bertegang leher thru sms lagi pun.. apa yg dia pikir tu betul or bagus.. teruskanlah.. sebabnya.. aku dah malas nak ambik port lagik..... dulu ada gak aku terpk kan maknosea2 yg penah jadik kawan aku tapi skrg... aku pikir diri sendiri jek la.. dan orang2 yg ada di samping aku bila aku memerlukan tanpa aku perlu meng-inform dorang yg aku nih sakit ke.. taklalu makan ke.. jatuh dalam bilik air ke... cam.. cam yg Joe kata.. org yg 'connected' ngan aku jek..senang cam tuh...
(cam nak menyentapz lagik jek entri ni.. hehehe)
idok la.. aku dah pendam menda nih dah lama.. tapi being me.. aku selalu buat endah tak endah jek ngan perasaan yg berkecamuk dlm otak aku nih.. some more, i have other things to worry about.. cam idup aku nih yg terumbang-ambing... in terms of my health.. Bukannya aku tak ingat waktu riang ria cuti skolah ngan maknosea2 yg bergelar 'kawan' aku satu ketika dulu.. but as time goes by.. aku semakin tua.. ada masanya aku mmg nak berseronok jek.. ala-ala merambu la kunun.. tapi skrg.. waima nak ke rumah abg aku masa weekend pun aku malas...aku lebih tennag duk kat rumah.. lepak kat sofa sambil duk tukar2 tukar channel astro tuh 5 minit skali.. kengkadang aku punya la malasnya.. sanggup makan apa yg ada kat dalam rumah jek drpd turun bawah belik nasik.. perasaan nak bersosial ngan orang tuh dah takder dah dalam idup aku tuh dah hilang sedikit demi sedikit.. aku nih kira bersosial la gak.. bersosial kat tempat kije.. sembang ngan 2 org kolig aku yg maha prihatin dan penyayang tuh.. cukup lah bagik aku.. ada maknosea yg hantar dan ambik aku kije hari2.. abg2 aku , adik2 aku.. itu pun dah ckup la bagik aku.. i dun need more.. apa yg ada kat sekeliling aku tuh pun aku dah bersyukur.. aku dah tak perlukan.. kawan2 berkaraoke ke.. kawan2 yg huha huha satu waktu dulu.. as Im not getting any younger some more... kira aku ni dah melalu satu transition period.. and im nearer to a fullstop.. so apa aku nak pikir lagi.. selain mengenang nasib diri and try not to whine much.. kekekeke...
arakian makanya... aku dah sebulat suara.. cuba untuk meng-ignorekan segala perasaan yg tak enak di kepala aku... aku taknak wat musuh sebenarnya.. tapi kalau aku dah sentapz.. korang ingat senang ke aku nak wat biasa balik ngan org yg menyebabkan sentapz aku tuh? hehehehehe....
yg lebih senang.. ko abaikan jek maknosea2 yg macam tu,, get on with yr life.. dan hapuskan lah memori2 daun pisang tu...
(bukannya aku takpenah buat pun cam tu... org yg aku dah taknak ingat.. sampai namanya pun aku erase kat dalam otak aku ni tau).. yeah yeah.. i know.. its not a noble thing to do tho.. tapi.. ada aku kesahhhh ekekeke?
ces... dlu beriya cakap taknak blog ni jadi saluran untuk meluahkan perasaan terpendam aku.. haaaaa.. kan aku dah cakap.. aku ni kadang2 jek boleh dipercayai kekekeek
Bukanya aku tak penah kecik ati ngan 'socalled friends' aku tuh dulu.. sbb aku ada lak gak beruasaha utk mengeruhkan yg jernih.. tapi kalau dah a few attempts pun failed.. malas der aku nak try agik.. as i believed time will heal the past.. tapi kalau dah nak heal tu.. ko ungkinkan isu lain yg takpenah aku terpikir pun... impossible la tak sentapz kan.,.. sbb aku nih... nak sentapz tgk keadan jek.. cam kalau ko duk tgh jalan berlenggang tapi ada org yg pegi tahan kaki kununnya nak bergurau.. pas tu ko jatuh... boleh ke ko nak senyum pas tu cakap kat org tu.. 'takpe.. aku suka.. ko wat la lagik.. aku suka cara ko gurau tu... aku takpe2.. in fact aku need that.. gurau yg menyebabkan lutut ko berdarah2 sebab itu akan menydarkan aku yg aku nih ghopa2nya ada kawan yg aku dah lama lupakan.. " boleh cam tu?hahahah
(malas der aku nak mention pasal sentap nih).. sebab kalau betul la firasat aku.. aku seboleh2nya taknak simpan menda cam ni lama2... ko dah sentap.. time tuu gak ..ko kuarkan.. pas tu dah.. jgn la nak pi korek2 yg lama tuh.. pas tu mention lagi 3-4 bulan kemudian.. ).. ish cakap taknak mention lagi word sentaps tu...
Dah le kan?
Itu la.. kengkadang aku rasa bagus lagik kawan ngan lelaki.. apa yg dorang tak gemar kat aku.. cakap terus terang... kalau aku sentapz (ish tercakap lagik) pun.. time tu jek la.. tapi kurang2nya aku boleh la try to improvise myself.. ataupun ko tanyakan ke.. apsal aku wat cam tu ke.. daripada duk assume bagai.. pas tu publish kat blog hahahaha... ( eh kalau aku sendiri ckp.. takpe.. ni to 'read' it from someone else.. yg aku anggap kawan.. pas tu the way org tu tulis ... ( memang la ko rasa takder salahnya ngan ayat tu. tapii kalau ko ada kat tempat aku.. tambah plak dgn hati kristal aku nih hahahah... baca dgn intonasi aku.. nampak sgt ayat tak ok tu jadik cam kutukan terang2an.. pas tu ada plak komen dari tah sapa2 yglangsung tak kenal aku.. .. come on la.. i can take critics ok.. tapi inh person la.. bukan nya kat dlm forum ( ishh nak sentap lagik ke nihhh)
eh tak leh nak sambung lagi dah...sesi gossip kat phone lak..

2008-11-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

Uish tak sepatutnya aku post entry sbb akunya resolusi menjelang tahun baru ni ( yang ku rasa cam nak start mulai dr sekarang le kan) ialah mengepos entri paling byk pun 2 entries/week. Boleh kan?
Sebbanya aku ni kan.. time aku rasa cam penuh jek kpala otak aku mengarang ayat2 yg sedap didengar oleh diri aku sendiri, time tu la aku tgh nak terbongkang atas katil nak lelap.. dan sementelah aku ni bukannya a 'natural writer', idok la aku bingkas bangun dan terus cari pen dan kertas ka, laptop ke hapa ka utk menyimpan segala intipati yg tetiba jek terukir dgn bagusnya kat kpala otak aku nih...
sebaliknya aku terus jek tido.. dgn tagline-esok2 la aku poskan .. ( kalau la aku masih boleh ingat apa yg aku nak tulis)..
nampak sgt aku nih bukan seorang blogger tegar kan?
tapiiiiiiiiii.. semenjak 2-3 hari ni.. aku dah ter'hooked' with satu blog ni... tu pun aku came across the blog bila aku bloghopping kat list blog si pakcik shahe... aku biasanya jadi slient reader jek kat mana2 blog yg aku baca n usually aku takkan pegi blog yg sama lebih dr 3 kali.. tu pun still aku bloghopping dr llist blog pakcik tu ha,,
tapi tis time around.. tetiba aku terus 'tersangkut' kat blog tu.. aku baca dr first entry yg ada kat situ which started a few years back.. sekarang aku baru abis baca previous entries yg dipos masa bulan April 2005... satu malam leh la aku baca ( dgn speed readingnya) previoeus posts-nya selama 2 bln gitu...
so nak aku habiskan sampai post terkini tu.. aku tatau la brp belas malam lagik aku nak kena bersengkang mata and 'burning d midnite oil" -makin rabun la aku pas ni..
ishh.. kalah zaman aku buat tesisi doctorate aku dulu tu ha....
tapi seriously... aku suka the way he wrote it... the way he narrated dianya susah payah struggling kat bumi amerika tu.. i cud imagine dat...
bila dia post conversations dia with his sister kat ICQ tuh.. aku pun turut sama ber-emosi.. sambil menituskan ayaqmata...
dan byk menda kat dalam entries dia tu.. aku rasa nak quote bcos somehow aku bleh rasa..ada gak yg kena kat btg idung aku...
pokoknya ... (ridwan) bak kata ustaz aku yg bermama ridzwan dlu tuh. aku mmg dah addicted la baca blog tu.. and last nite aku duk pulun baca dr kul 8 sampai kul 12 malam... dan hasilnya... aku duk mimpi aku kat bumi amerika gak.. sama cam blog tuh... hahaha gila ke hapa ko nih macik...
so hari ni aku kurangkan la masa bacaan aku.. aku stop kul 10.. sbb aku taknak la mimpi aku duk amerika lagik malam ni... sbb hajatnya aku ingat aku nak mimpi aku ada kat paris ke, rome ke.. malam ni.. (bley?)...
iya la.. abis, time kije aku taknak la baca blog dia.. sbb aku ni kan.. kalau dah menarik ati sgt tu.. drag la plak masa yg aku seppatutnya buat kije tapi aku gunakan utk baca blog... curi tulang belakamgnamanya tu... !
tapi idak le aku nafikan.. aku pun ada gak post entries masa kije tapi itu la.. ingatnya nak tulis barang sebaris dua ayat jek.. tetapi.. haa cam entri ni la.. berje;a2 la plak aku menyambungnya...
aku tak linkkan pun blog dia kat blog aku ni.. sbbnya aku dah hapal pun url dia...
so.....aku masuk tido dulu la yek... cammm.. bosan jek kan entri aku nih kan.. byk2 citer yg menarik berlaku.. ini jek yg aku buleh tulis? tak sglamer langsung kan...
memangg!
dah... malam ni aku ingat nak mimpi naik emirates pi dubai ler.. ada kat blog mana tah.. aku intai dia cakap dianya dream place ialah dubai sana tuhh...
ishh aku dah black list dubai tuh.. esp airport dia yg tak semengah tuh... ( aku rasa ada tulis dlm prev entries)... mmg aku dah black list dubai airport tuhh....ptuih...(tak relevannya tetiba aku mention pasal dubai ni plak)
tetiba nak emo.... ish complicated aku nih....
p.s tetiba teringat something abt complicated thingy kat blog yg aku ikuti tuh... ada something ygdia tulis yg aku rasa nak quote kat sini.. tapi aku dah lupa entry bulan brapa.. --nyelasal tak bookmark kan.. ishh
selamat malam malaysia....

2008-11-14T14:49:00.003+08:00

Mood sedikit mencanak ( hishh cam lucah le plak kan, 'term' ni)..
alkesahnya.. aku wat kije skit2 je sementelah rasa cam guilltyy la sgt datang kije tak wat kije.. apa kelas kann... baikkkkk la balik rumah basuh baju guling2 atas sofa ke cam tu...
Dgn mood yg masih lagi cam anak kucing nyaris2 kena gelek ngan merc....
tepat kul 12, aku kuarkan jajan yg aku beli kat 7-E pagi tadi...
mula2 bukak peket asam... makan seketui dua.. pas tu...
bukak peket kacang lak...
ehhh lupa nak cakap.. masih lagi dlm mode kecik ati yg tak sudah2......
hamba Allah tu plak diam jek pas aku sms dgn mode-kecik ati tadikkk....Tak gheti nak pujuk ke hapa ....ishhhhh
dekat 12.30... Hamba Allah tu call... tanya makan haper... ( sajaaaaa nak bagik org panas hati balik lak tuuu)..-mmg dah tau terang2 aku ckp aku mogok makan hari ni kannnnn.. lagik mau tanya.. POODAAAAHHH!
aku ckp aku tak makan padahal dah abis setengah peket aku kunyah kacang kuda... so mood amarah aku ala2 kuda gak la ni kann..
Dia suh aku cakap ngan anak dia ( kira anak aku gak la kan kan kan)...sbb dia slalu cakap.. ur daughter wants to talk to u( waaa.. aku kengkadang lupa aku pun dah ada anak ka? ishhh)
Pas tu dah ckp sepatah dua kata... pass back to him.. dia cakap dia akan beli ubikayu n rebus cam yg aku nak .. dan aku cakap TAKPAYAH...
segala jenis ubi pun takkan menyejukkan hati aku dah... ( GILA emo aku nih kang.. cam nyampah la plak aku ngan peel aku sendiri neyh)..
Pas tu letak phone aku sambung makan kacang balik.. di topup ngan bun gardenia tu n air kotak.. ( cakapnya mogok makan kan.. poodahh sekali utk macikk)
Eh serius... mood aku hari ni.. ciiiiiiiimpeng jekk......
cam sakit perut plak pas minum air kotak...
and pas solat jumaat dia call lagik.. duk tanya berkali2 betul aku taknak makan ptg nihh..
nii yg malas neyhh..
siap tanya apa yg terdetik dalam otak aku nak makan ptg karang..
aku cakap takderr... sebab aku mmg dah jemu makan kat luar...
last wknd, gila heaven aku masak nasik makan ngan telur n kicap jek.. pas tu ahad masak nasik goreng ngan hamchoy.. bley?
tapi rasa cam kesian plak sbb dia asyik duk tanya ...aku pun cakap aku nak makan...............
PIZZA!
haiyaaa... aku takder la rasa nak makan sgt pun.. sbgb perut aku dah penuh ngan kacang neyhh.. cam angin la plakk..
serius .. aku rasa aku mmg sangat gumuk skrg.. bleyy.... walaupun dah 2 hari takmakan nasik.. tapi aku makan benda lain seperti meehoon , tosei, horfun...
hari tu cam tak lalu makan sekejap sbb pikir nak admitted segala bagai...
tapi skrg cam riang ria cuti skolah plak dah... tnggu tgh bln depan aku pasti akan murung balik time nak admiited..
so, kesimpulannya...
aku ini sangat buruk perangainyaa.. kan kan kan...
yee.. aku ngaku.. dan sangat emo tidak betempat...
Last but not least...
aku tgh dlm memproses nak menaiktarafkan mood aku ni.. tapi hari sudah petang..
esok2 jek la... naiktarafkan mood tu....
larikkkk!~

Hari Jumaat yang ....

2008-11-14T09:05:00.002+08:00

Sesungguhnya hari ini macik dtg pepagi dengan mood yang zero (bley?)...
dan ini adalah disebebkan ( kemungkinan yang sangat tinggi) perkara-perkara berikut: (disenaraikan mengikut kronologi masa);
1. Semalam dinner kat oldtown kopitiam dan telah 'terorder' dia nya signature drink, cold white coffee (dan bila minum terasala tersangat concentratednya); dan arakian dimaklumkan makcik kalau minum sebarang jenis minuman berasaskan kopi selepas pukul 6 ptg, makaaaaaaaaaa macik akan mengalami kesukaran utuk tidur dengan nyenyak. makaaaaaaaa--
2. selepas pukul 11, walaupun macik sudah masuk ke kamar peraduan, tetaaaaapla makciktidak mengantuk, lalu makcik cober2 membaca buku cerita, tappppppppppi walaupun sudah habis 1/2 buku yang dibaca, makcik masih tidak tido, laluuu makcik pun tutup buku dan memejamkan mataaaa
makaaaaaa hasilnyaaaa---
3. tidor makcik tidak nyenyak, minda masih aktif sementelah memutarkan mimpi2 yang pelbagai contohnya, makcik telah memotong sebnyak 30 markah seorang studnt yang telah meniru skema jwapan makcik yang berada disebelahnya, walaupun makcik telah melarang dia sebelum itu ( motif makcik juga telah gigih menjawab soalan exam itu, tudaklah makcik ketahui), dannn kemudian mimpi itu melalut2 hingga ke bahagian seorang anak buah makcik telah terselam kepalanya di dlm mangkuk tandas sewaktu makcik menggunakan bilik air tersebut untuk mandi.. makaaaa gigihhhla juga makcik menyiram dan membilas kepalanya itu.. didlm mimpi tersebut...makaaaaa
4. bila jam di dihandphone berbunyi pada pukul 6.15 pagi, terdetik di hati macik untuk mengambil EL ( kerana perasaan malas tetiba membuak apabila tidur nya tidak lena) tapi makcik berusaha juga untuk melangkah ke bilik air dan mandi segala bagai dan bersiap.. haruskah?
5. Mood makin merudum bila ada la plak hamba Allah ini menidakkan keinginan macik utk membli cakoi sebagai bekal kerana di khuatiri too'oily".. cesssssss... laluuuuuuuu
6. makcik meng-order la makanan ruji di pagi hari iaitu sekeping tosei, tapi manusia yg duk ngadap makcik kat meja mamak itu (yg turut sama meng-order tosei) tidak mengahbiskan 1/2 dr toseinya itu, ( sambil sempat juga menambah cebisan2 toseinya ke dalam pinggan makcik) makaaaa harusla makcik anginkann.. kalau dah order tapi makan tak habis.. itukan pembaziran yang merupakan amalan shaitonnn kekdahnya? ditambah lagi.....
7. bila makcik menanya, hamba Allah itu membalas.. 'takpe la, lain kali i tak makan bfast, minum air jek"----dannnnnnnnn makcik pun terus meng-smash.. 'macam tu, i pun takyah bfast kat luar, makan jek kat rumah, leh makan macam2 kat rumah tu pun, tak payah nak pikir menu apa nak makan"---ye, sungguh'awkward' dan sengalnya tika itu..dan lebih memburukkan keadaan makcik yg semakin ilang mooddddnya itu...
8. di dalam kereta, makcik pantang sangat diperdengarkan citer2 masa lampau yang tidak sedap di dengar.. tapi macik dengarkan jugaa sebab macik malas nak 'melaser'kan diri.... dan yg paling meruntun hati ( sebab macik pagi ni kan.. tak ckup tido, makaa kesinsitipan tu harus la berlipat kali gandakann)..
9. Bila macik turun keter, sambil membawak jajan utk dimakan masa lunch, paper dan jugak poster holder, ( manyak meno menda kena hangkutnya), tetiba terkuarla perkataan dengan intonasi yg sungggguuuhhh 'annoying' drpd yang memandu kereta itu.. yang sah-sah dituju kepada macikkk kan..
"GEMOK!" dengan nada ala2 samseng kg dusn dengan tjuan nak mengejek ( boleh bayang dak?)... dan macik terus terkedu di situ sekejap... lepas tu boleh lagi hamba allah tu menyambung " sampai nak tanggal butang baju tu.. bla bla bla)....
10. makcik masuk bilik , rasa cam nak nangis.. cuba kontrol.. pas tu.. gave a piece of my mind in a sms to him...
Iyaaa.. cuba kalau dia cakap dlm intonasi yg berbeza ke.. tidak la macik akan terasa dengan begitu sekali kan.. and he claimed tat its only a joke..
iya la joke... MACIK EMO OKEYYYYYY! sementelah byk faktor2 sebelum itu yg menyumbang ke pada ke-emosionalan macikk.. dan hasilnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
MAKCIK TAK RASA NAK BUAT KIJE LANGSUNG..
eh boleh tak balik rumah pi basuh baju yg sebaldi kat bilik air tu ka? ke sambung tido jap agi atas meja ke....
boleh kann?

2008-11-11T20:04:00.002+08:00

Pagi ni, sewaktu melantak tose dn jayanya ( lately, i m such a tosai fan) .. feels like having tosai everyday, i just love the coconut chutney ( tah.. napa tah), so behind my table , there were a bunch of chinese students cladded with their uniforms from the school nearby. today is the 1st day for those who sat for SPM. Teringat la plak diriku.. 23 thn lepas when i sat for my SPM. ( iya, makcik sangat tua okehh.. ala2 fossil gitu hahaha). those were the days, which i wouldnt have any gut to lepak kat restoran mamak on my the 1st, where as these students sdgn sibuk bergelak ketawa sambil makan bekal dorang kat restoran mamak on their 1st day? Fuhh.. makcik sungguh kagum.. eh usually 1st day selalunya BM paper kan?.. walaupun takder la nak wat last min prep tapiiii.. tetapppppppppppla makcik tak lalu makan jugak..apatah lagi nak merewang2 kat restoran mamak sblm nak masuk xm hall..
On 'meruntun rasa ' note... makcik is still procrastinating ... of works n others.
To make it worse, my 2 students who have just registered to do their masters with me, tetiba dapat post PTD. and they decided to quit their masters ( even b4 they really started).. and i am so so disappointed wth them.. for not able to really set their minds on wat they really wanna do after graduated.
iyaa.. memang aku sentappp la gak... sbb dulu merayu2 nak mintak sambung masters, but once they got the job offer, they just 'dumped' me. ..
Tapi takder la aku salahkan mereka jugak.. iya la.. kan sekarang ni.. money is everything.. furtthering their studies has become the last resort for some students..
tapi yg jadi mangsanya.. adalah makcik jugakkk....
well lesson learnt.. next time i m gonna be very careful in choosing the students who want to further their studies.. only those who have set their mind to do the post grad studies will beselected next time.. to those who grab which ever comes first.. i m gonna give a piece of my mind on tis matter...
Memamng menyusahkan idup makcik tauuu... bcos the next batch of studn will only avail july next year.. and by tat time.. i need to submit progress report to MOHE already..
manyak susah la cam ni...
gotta run.. cm ngantuk h ni...

2008-11-07T15:52:00.003+08:00

Tetiba jek rasa cam nak post lebih dr satu entri ( Motif: takrajin la sangat sebelum ni)... tapi hari ni.. taktau kenapa.. buat kije asyik tersekat-sekat especiially bila nak update KPI kat kmportal tu.. perlu la proofs bagai.. pas tu nak kena pi cari balik dokumen/letters kat rak .. ishhh... alangkah baiknya jikalau aku ini.. seorang yg organised dan... sangat prihatin dalam bab menyimpan dokumen ni (bley?)
Lepas tu kan...
Haaa... they have set anthr Op-date for me.. which is anthr 1.5 months from now. So i supposed when you hve already set yr mind dat u r not gonna do anywork throught tis november.. and suddenly yr plan changed..maka harus la aku terkulat-kulat pikir apa menda yg nak di-'kerjakan' sepanjang bulan ni kan? That explained my clumsiness for the past few days.. ala-ala transition period gitu..
so for the past few days.. seriusss.. terasa sangat malas nak pikir apa yg harus di'kerjakan' dahulu.. padahal. manyak sangat menda bley buat tu.. contohnya.. kemaskan bilik aku ni.. yg bersepah cam library tak dikemaskan dek librarian barang seminggu..
Ishh rasanya dengan tahap kelambatan aku procrastinating kije... harus la.. takder apa2 hasil nampaknya sehingga aku start mc balik tgh bulan depan..
*sambil menghempuk2 kepala kat cpu*
cam nyampah la plak mikirkan diri yang tak produktif neyhh.. haishhh langsung aku tak bangga dgn diri aku sendiri neyhhhh.....

Entri di pagi jumaat

2008-11-07T08:40:00.002+08:00

Malam tadi saya tidur awal iaitu lebih kurang pukul 8.30 malam. Tidak sempat untuk melihat drama cinta batu belah kat TV9 itte which has become my regular drama series.
Tersangat lamanya saya tidur. dan pagi ini ... saya makan nasik lemak yang membuatkan saya rasa sungguh 'guilty'...
Tapi tak kesah lah..
Dan sekejap lagi... mungkin saya akan menguap balik gara-gara nasik lemak yg sungguh best ( tapi pagi ini sambal dia tidak 'kick' seperti mana yang biasa)..
Ye.. bagus bagus... blame it on d nasi lemak...
Memang begitu kan sikap manusia... Tidak pernah cuba mengakui kesilapan sendiri.. tapi sedaya upaya akan menuding jari kepada benda lain, semata-mata untuk menafikan sikap buruk sendiri..
Aku pun tergolong dalam kategori itu juga... ....kot..

2008-11-04T20:22:00.004+08:00

Feel like posting another entry.. (even tho aku masih dalam mode mild sentap agik)
Yang pertamanya:-
aku sayang mak aku.. walaupun aku selalu rasa aku ni dah byk mengecewakan dia. or aku dah byk menangis kerana penrnyataan pedas dia ( adohaii), tapi.. disebabkan makcik ni taknak menjadi anak DURHAKA, makcik hanya mendiamkan diri sahaja, tanpa menjawab walaupun makcik akur la sangat bahwa segala kenyatan yg dibuat oleh ibuku tersayang itu langsung tidak relevan ( tis is actually to clarify the buckets of tears over last weekend's incidence).. Yes, i ve learnt and am still learning not to hurt my mom's feelings eventho in the end its my feeling which hurts most
Keduanya-
even tho I cud admit that I am a COMPLICATED person but if it were to come from other ppl's mouth, it surely offended me alot, especially when u ve been elaborating it into details..and one more thing... how sure r u, tat it was how i felt when or vice versa.. maybe it was one of yr assumptions/ analysis again which u always think tat u r good at it
KETIGANYA-
i believe that when u concern abt someone, u at least give a few mins of yr time to sms or call, rather than leaving msgs in Ym ( bcos I rarely login to YM now, and if u saw me on line, it doesnt me tat I am really online, sumtime i do login via my hp, checked my emails for a few mins and logout but others wud still see me online.. and to know tat i am the one wth a few maladies here, dun xpect me to spread the news everytime i went thru hard times
KEEMPATNYA-
Go reread yr entry again and put yrself in my shoes. Then u will know wat I ve been trying to tell u. Not to mention, i also read comments and i can feel a tinge of insinuations in one or two comments.. ( and I DID NOt say FINALLY)- i reread my entry on tat particular matter.. I do not understand WHY do u have to sound so cynical abt it ( bcos i didnt say, tat there'd be others who wud do the same thing if i were sick?).. anyway I ve been sick for a long time (apart from the one mentioned in blog), and have u ever asked how i ve been before? rather than claiming that u did leave me a few msges in my YM, which i ve never received bcos they have blocked my YM in d office for months now ( which i d never able to bother bcos i have lotsa things to do when i m at work). I have my ego too, i dun go and announce to d world dat somehow, they have suspected tat it might be a malignant thingy . I have enuff problems to deal with, and there you go accusing me of being complicated and elaborating more nonensical theories abt me. Ko kata ko terasa, walaupun takder satu patah pun yg leh link-kan entri aku tu ngan ko, in fact sorry to say, i did not think abt anyone when i wrote the entry. tats wat i felt. he was there , awlasy there for me for the past 6 months. Everyone i know is either so bz with their familes, babies, old schoolmates. I m not jealous of others bcos i know, they have their own world. let them be la kan. so i met him and we became friends. Is it wrong bcos i didnt tell to any one of u? Ada aku marah ko takder bagi tau aku wat u ve been doing or whom u ve met recently? wat i knew if thru yr blog which i follow frequently. Ko ingat aku tak terasa ke? AKU SANGAT SANGAT TERASA OK! cam la aku ni kalau sakit cuma patut mintak tlg pada kawan2 rapat aku yg dah berbulan pun taktanya khabar aku, tapi aku tak kesah pun sbb aku pun sama. I beleive in up n downs of a realtionship/friendship. Semua org ada hidup masing2. satu ketika kita rapat pas tu tak lagi. so dat's it la. Aku pun ada kehidupan aku sendiri. Ishhhhh aku takpaham sebenarnya apa yg telah meng-initiiatekan isu ni.. tapi ap[a yg aku tau aku mmg SENTAP ok... cam la aku ni... aku ni... ishhhh ( takder ayat yg sesuai nak ditulis kat sini)
IRESTMY CASE. yg sebenarnya.. aku dah malas nak sentap pun..sbb aku dah malas nak ambik port.. dan seperti yg dah aku tulis , tats final. sbbnya.. yes its too complicated.. as u said i am.. so TAK PAYAH NAK RISAU OR WATSOEVER NGAN ORG COMPLICATED NI>> aku tak ambik tau kisah ko.. ko takyah la ambik tau hal aku...kalau ada org yg sanggup nak angkat aku dr tingkat 10 pun , ada org lain kisah? ko pegi la angkat org lain yg memerlu ianya di angkat dr tingkat atas ke tingkta bawah.. kalau rasa nak mengangkat sgt..

DAH... end of my anger management entry,

and I tot November is not in d calendar..

2008-11-02T21:07:00.004+08:00

My mom used to say to me.. "biarlah orang buat kita, tapi kita jangan buat orang"
and my mom also said, i used to be a blunt person, blurting out harsh remarks without considering other ppl's feelings. yes, I am ( was) a blunt person when i was surrounded by the families, and siblings. used to be blunt among "close' friends too.
But i was trying not to be blunt anymore. I ve learnt how to hide and keep it inside. I blabbered to myself if i were not satisfied with others or things i did. I am trying so hard not to hurt other feelings too, intentionally.
But somehow, along the process. I may have offended others unintentionally , with my remarks, my impromptu entries in blogs maybe. ( i can always say tat tis is my blog, i can write watever i feel like writing, to hell with other ppl;s feelings bcos i never meant to include or offend others in this blog'f mine.
And I never disclosed my personal life in here. Evry entry posted here, is all totally on the surface side. Im not putting every itinerary detail of the events narrated here. and besides, my blog is not in any other bloggers' lists except for one or two. and thats the only number that I knew have been following my blog.
and why am i suddenly becoming emtotional tonite? I m not gonna tell it, its nothing important tho. after all, i am always a 'complicated' person. nobody knows wat i have in mind except The ALLMIGHTY. betul la tu kan.
ok.. enuff abt tat..
on happier note.. they postponed my operation to next month. When i have physically and mentally prepared for the op, they decided, yes.. 12 hours before the operation, that they need to do a retest for my CA125 and CA99 level.
and yes, I m going to the clinic again the day after tomorrow, for the final result.
My parent is alreday here when i called them telling the 'good' news. felt guilty bcos they have flown all the way from KB to be with me on that DAY, alas its been postponed.
I ve been picturing myself on medical leave throught tis month. How should I know tat I ll be working for another month before being admiited again? haishh kacau sungguh. there goes off all my well planned schedule.
My students have been msging me non stop, asking how my condtion is. thinking tat i ve safely undergone my surgery. I was discharged last wednesday, 12 hrs before i was supposed to be wheeled into the OT
What i can say, but somehow, deep inside, i know there must be a blessing indisguise in all these.( ye la.. aku ni kan seorang peng-redha dengan segala yang ditentukan)
my parent, my bro and SIL pun dah happily flown to langkawi this morning for a vacation till tuesday. and they r going back to KB on wednesday.
come to think of it, they wont have the chance to enjoy them selves, if i were undergone the op last thursday. amongst a few other incidences which made me wept into bucket of tears .. yeah... not revealing anything as usual.. :D
Dun really feel comfortable writing in this 'sentap' condition tho. and it did take some time to compose such crappy but emotionally versed entry tho.
Akhir kata.. apa yg aku rasa ni biar lah aku tanggung sendiri... complicated or not, i m still a person with hearts ( plural kah?) and feelings... bak kata.. eman manan ( releavnkah dia ni?) "ter;ajak perahu boleh diundur.. terlajak tulis buruk padahnya.. kan kan..
so im deleting the previous mentioned entries , and next time I have to be EXTRAA careful with wat i posted. Bleh kan cik IDA?

And outta sudden...

2008-10-27T22:03:00.003+08:00

Tidak la sudden sangat pun.. daku tetiba terasa nak hapdet blog ni ( walaupun in my previous entry i have bade my goodbye).. iya buruk siku la sangat aku ni kan?
dan tika dan saat ini.. aku terasa tersangat la mual dan ala2 nak muntah gitew....
sbb tadik aku pi goreng french fries yg dah berminggu duk dlm fridge.. lepas tu bila makan daku terasa cam penuh dgn limpahan minyak rasanya (walaupun dah jenuh aku mengesat2 kat tisu)..
dan tekak masih lagi trasa mula walaupun telah dibilas (bilas?) dengan lipton clear green tea ( yg penuh dgn antioksidan itu)..
Rasakan la makcik kan? Bukan kan akan selamat kalau makan jek sekut 'yaacob
cream cracker yg low-salt dan hi-fibre itu? ( sebenarnya itu la diet makcik semenjak 2menjak terasa malas nak turun walaupun setengah pelaung sajork daripda kedai easy mart yg skrang dah beroperasi 18 jam sajorkk.. ( tiada motif disini yerk tuanpuan)
Alkisahnya... sudah beberapa purnama daku tidak meng-exercisekan kaki ini untk melintas jalan waima ke kedai mamak diseberang jalan sana pun..
Motip? Adalah sorang hamba Allah ittew yg megakui sangat sayang pada makcik ini.. telah melarang keras makcik melintas kerana khuatir makcik akan dilanggar oleh kereta yg lalulalang dan sangat laju mengalahkan makcikn yg terkedek2 ala2 kura-kura ini...
Owh btw, makcik telah berjaya berjalan ke MekDonald dengan jaya pada malam ahad lepas yang jaraknya cuma 25 tapak saja daripada rumah makcik (which is equal to 5 tapak Sang Kelembai sajork ye tunapuan)..
dan tujuan makcik ke Mekdonald di dalam kepekatan malam ittew adalah tak lain tak bukan hendak membeli set fish deluxe ( setelah terpengaruh dgn iklan yg dilihat di tv saban malam, dan dengan bangganya.. makcik ingin mengumumkan.. ini adalah pertama kali makcik membaham MekDonald setelah hampir 2.5 bulan..
Ye.. satu tempoh yg agak lama ( yahooo... bangga sungguh hati ini), setelah makcik berazam untuk tidak 'membedal' sebarang produk MekDonald, setelah kali terakhir dilihat mentekedarah filet -o-fish (selama 2 hari berturut2) di Athens bulan Ogos lepas...

makcik yg kontrol ayu, tapi takayu pun masa tgh makan dgn kiutnya fries yg dicucuk kat garpu kecil.. kat McDonald Athens.. ada beskal yg digantung kat siling kat belakang tu.. tapi hampeh taknampakla plak kan..)
sementelah keesokan harinya makcik tetap la juga nak berposa, dan disebabkan sahur pagi tu macik cuma membaham semangkuk maggi tasty lite.. makaaaa haruslah makcik mengalami hipoglisemia bila dah dekat2 nak buka posa tu kan?
Nasib baik la, hamba Allah yg sangat sayangkan makcik itu telah membeli sebungkus nasik beryani di kedai mamak seberang jalan sana ( ya macik turut pegi menemani beliau walaupun hanya duduk dalam keter sajork).. dan itulah juadah makcik berbuka posa pada hari semalam...
tidak la sedap sgt... tetapi dalam keadaan yg dah rasa terawang -awangan, tetpa la macik membaham setengah bekas polisteren itu..
disebabkan lauknya adalah kari ayam mamak ( harus di ingatkan makcik tersengatla alergiknya dengan sebarang kuah bersantan, tak soker kekdahnya tau).. maka makan la jugak macik dengan linangan dan deraian airmata.. (sbb nak marah kat org yg beli nasik.. takbleh la plak kan depan rezeki) .. tapi tah kenapa la plak semalam cam sentimental smacam jek...
dan hari ini... macik telah pergi ke Noodle Station kat alamanda tu disebabkan dah 2 hari makcik mengidam nak makan noodle kat situ..
harus di ingatkan... noodle station ini.. sebenarnya ber-ibupejabat di Kota Bharu ( ha pandai la aku).. dan sebarang kedai2 makan yg berpusat di Kota Bharu dan telah dikembangkan sayapnya ke Pantai barat ini.. harus la disokong penuh oleh seorang anak jati Tanah Serendah Sekebun Bunga seperti macik ini tauu..
Tapi rasanya choices of noodles-nya tidak la sebanyak yg kat Kb so.. terpaksa lah makcik berpuas hati dengan springy noodlesnya sajorkk..
sangat sedap okehh.. hatta makcik telah 'ter'-order springy noodles with tomyam ala2 yg kat bangkok sana..
yer.. ada santan.. tapi makcik tetap la soker sbb rasa dia masam2.. dan cili jeruknya tersangat masam dan sedap.. ( airliur makcik masih meleleh mengenangkan cili hijau jeruknya tadi)
cecukup la citer pasal cili jeruk tadikk...
On 'gumbira' dan nervous note..
the parent will be coming tomorrow nite..
they will be beside me for the next Thursday event...
and for now.. macik cuma mengharapkan yang baik2 sahaja akan berlaku minggu hadapan...
Occay makcik?
yang ni betul2.. makcik kuar du;u yok.. Ada umo jumpa lagiks..

A few days before the big O-day

2008-10-24T16:24:00.002+08:00

yes.. a bit bz tho.. cos some of them have informed taht there ll be more meetings next weeks. which i wont be able to attnd bcos I d be on M-leave starting next tuesday. hence, there r a few documents n reports n more reports that need to be submitted for those meetings. I have students who r really worried whether they cud do their lab works during my absence. well, i was on medical leave last year for 1 1/2 months and some of them didnt even realise my absence tho.
I m only worried about the loads of papers mounting on my desk, and yesterday this 'small mountain; has actually 'collapsed'. When it comes to organising paperworks and tidying up my desks, i am a Hopeless no 1. *sighing*
In the meantime, i have so many things in my mind ie things to do, lecturer to chase, wat to eat for dinner bcos the last meal tat i had was this morning. I dun wanna think of wat's gonna happen to me after next Thursday. Lets just leave it in the hand of GOD, i supposed. anyway.. i m gonna close this blog temporarily till .. I dunno when.
I m trying to think positive here tho. ..
so till then.. adieu.

Since raya is not over yet..

2008-10-19T20:46:00.007+08:00

and tat's y i m feeling so vain ( apakah?) posting the pics of the family during last raya (while hoping that there wont be any family members of mine who accidentally found my blog and realised that I ve actually pasted and disclosed their pics to public).. Yes, people. family makcik sebenarnya memang sangat penyegan orangnya ( termasuk juga makcik yang kadangkala mempunyai mood 'diva' yang entah datang dari hulu mana tah, tapi tetap menten ala2 keturunan terakhir cik siti wan kembang gitu), maka motif mempamerkan muka di sini , kalau dalam kamus keluarga makcik samalah seperti.. ermm tetiba maenghidangkan lauk kari di hariraya gittew (sebab kuarga makcik tak suka lauk2 berkolestrol nih, kitorang cuma prefer lauk santan-less contohnya seperti ikan singgang, asam pedas dan apa2 kuah tanpa penggunaan santan gitu ( sangat tidak relevan dan tiada kaitankan?)
enuff of me talking craps..tapi terimalahhhh......

this is one big happy family of mine, consisting of 7 siblings and of course my parent. Luckily, all of my bros and sisters celebrated the 1st raya at my mom's this year. selalunya payah nak semua ada, last year my youngest sis was in penang at her grandparent's in law, 2nd youngest sister was also at her PIL, my 2nd eldest sis was at her IL"s too and my eldest bro was also at his FIL's. Every year, the only ones who remain at home is your's truly and my 2nd bro. Tu pun bcos my SIL is a convert so harus la every raya beraya kat rumah kitorang kan? The only sister who was not in the pic is my eldest sis. she never celebrated raya with us bcos she'd never be. My late grandma took her when she was 40 days old. and ever since she's wth my late grandma tll she passed away 10 yrs ago. well, we 'd pay her a visit on the 2nd raya since I cudnt remember when( sbb dah lama sangat kan). But overall the number of my nieces n nephews r now 21, well another 2 are coming in, early next year.
panjang lebo lak makcik citer kan, ala2 hikayat la plak. anyway. makcik tadak dalam gambar tau bcos i was in invisible mode at tat time (boley!)

these r all the dishes tat we had on the 1st raya. mahapla, kalau korang nak makan lemang ka, ketupat ka, rendang ka, sila pindah duk lain negeri ye, as we dun have such dishes in kelantan. besides they r so unpopular in kelantan. kalau hidang lemang tu agaknya dorang jeling sebelah mata jek la kot. So on 1st day, we had nasi bukhari courtesy of my sis in law, sate which we ordered in a small amount, and we had variety of cakes. My BIL which is a KL-ites was so jakun when he spent his 1st raya in kelantan a few years ago. Dia cakap kat Kl mana der kek segala bagai ni masa raya, bcos they only have main dishes and cookies only. So dia pelik la apasal byk sgt kek yg terhidang kat atas meja masa raya. Well i have no idea too,but as fara s I remember, every year, my sis'd never fail to bake her special choc moist cake, masa makcik kecik. my 2nd eldest sis did all the baking, but when she had her own family, my 2nd youngest sis took over as the sweet delicacies chef in the house. makcik? NAN ADO. sbb makcik tak makan kek, tunjuk la kek apo pun, cheese cake ka, sponge cake ka, choc cake ka, i wont drool over em. huhuhuh. ( tapi tetap la menten montel gak kan wlupun takmakan kek)

On the 3rd raya, we held a barbecue, which has become an annual event every raya. All the males dgn gigih meng-grill hasil tangkapan laut yg kami jala kat pasar KOK Kg China, dan aku juga dgn gigih nya men-nye-nap gambar yg tah hapa2. Owh gambar masa makan nan ado ye tuan puan sbb bbq tersebut telah mendapat sambutan yg menggalakkan dr spupu2 makcik yg duk sebelah rumah dan yg duk jauh skit.. so tak nyempat nak snap pics. lagipun tadak sorang pun yg berblog amongst my family members ni.. so untuk mengelakkan syak wasangka yang terlampau dr tetamu2, makcik idokla rasa nak men-yenap gambar sebaliknya hanya menjadi ala-puteri saadong qaedahnya dengan mengarah2 kembang2 cina merangkap my nieces untuk mengambil makanan. sementelah macik hanya mampu bersemayam atas kerusi ala2 patung cendana sahaja.. yg len.. duk jek makan kat bawah.

Memandangkan mendapat sambutan yg sangat menggalakkan, koordinator aka adik macik yg nih telah bersetuju utk me-mark up contribution untuk setiap famuly. Yer.. macik harus la gigih menabung mulai sekarang untuk menampung kos bbq itu nanti. Sangat tidak adil ok.. sbb dorang bayar utk the whole family tapi makcik tetap di kenakan bayran yg sama walaupun hanya sebatang kara, cess!Udah le macik hanya mampu melantak 2 ekor sotong, seekor udang, seketul ayam dan sesenduk mash potato sajork ( dan bergelas2 air ribena soda ala2 Wiiliams itu tuan puan) sangat sedap hasil tangan adik bungsu makcik yg ini merangkap mash-potato chef.

(opps sorry pic not attached sbb dia tak pakai tudung masa diambil gambarnyam but i am attaching her son's pic on her behalf (sbb my mom cakap anak dia sejibik cam dia tapi girl version la masa kecik dulu)

last but not least, this is a pic of my Ma n Bak.( ada backgound lagu raya dari jauh ku pohon maaf by Sudirman di situ). Next year will be their 50th year wedding aniversary tho.

dan ni pic tak snonoh which i snapped. I was aiming at the clouds actually. sungguh amatur pics ini kan?

and these are the anak teruna in the family, who did not help at all in preparing the bbq tapi makan kalahkan org yg buat kije. Bebudak ini suka sangat 'memnunjuk' ketinggian dia memandangkan makcik ni hanya takat bahu dorang sajork.

Terkini, si tasha yg umo 12 thn ni pun dah lagi tinggi dari makcik, tidakkk! Terasa sangat kerdil diri ini.

lagi 10 thn, these 3 cutie pies ni pun akan lagik tinggi dr makcik jugak. Huwaaaaaa.

Maka dengan itu. sekian la hikayat terung pipit di raya 2008 untuk kali ini. pas ni.. jgn sebut pasal raya lagi dah.. (especially not about HEIGHT, makcik emo kalo)
SELESAI SUDAH

Its just dat...

2008-10-15T20:19:00.003+08:00

I ve been a bit occupied lately ( bukan bz ye tuan puan, bcos I hve time to bloghop and OFTEN i got carried away.. haishh apa kah)

But being a so so blogger who update her blog according to her MOOD and ample ( la sangat) time.. i only manage to post entries when i feel like.. hmm... punching the keyboard.. ( as most'f d time wat i do is totally dragging the mouse to my beck n call , mouse pad pun tarak tauuu)

Besides, nobody really wanna know wat i ve been doing all day, or where i ve been going for the past few days ( unless i feel like telling the ppl out there which is so rare of me la,, (unless the motive is to let out this grumpiness or totally complaining)

Ishhh .. ha kan dah.. am having writer's block again.. tadi rasa cam byk beno nak ditulisnya...

Haishhhhh...

as they said.. some things r better left unsaid...

well a bit mebbe.. am counting down the days .. well anthr anthr 2 weeks be the big O-day..Cant' wait (sila baca dengan penuh nada ironi ye)

the cutie pies were queuing, taking turns to salam atuk n tuk wan n later to collect duit raya from the aunties n uncles.. the 'bigger' generation ( age range 10-18 y.o )were not too keen to queue with the smaller ones tho